Work Text:
Kouda sighed, tapping his fingers together. He had asked for his two boyfriends to hang out with him today. It still felt weird to call them that as it had been only about a month.
Shouji and Tokoyami merely saw it as him asking to hang out with the two of them, though Kouda had brought them over for a specific reason. He just needed to find the right words to say it. Tokoyami and Shouji were cuddling and talking among themselves about some video game Tokoyami was playing. Meanwhile, Kouda sat there, trying to figure out how he should bring it up. However, his thoughts were interrupted when he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder.
“Something on your mind?” Shouji asked.
Kouda stopped zoning out and looked to his side, staring at his boyfriend. He didn’t really hear the question. “Hm?” he asked. He lifted his arms up to sign instead. “I didn’t really hear you…sorry…”
Shouji paid no mind to it, and asked again. “Well you kinda zoned out,” he said. “Just wanted to know if you were okay.”
Kouda nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
Tokoyami looked up from his phone and smiled. “You know, there is this game I have on my phone that is quite calming. You can play on my phone if you’d like and see if you like the-”
“I’m trans...” Kouda blurted out. He wasn’t planning on saying it that way, he actually had a bit of a mini speech in his head that he was going to say but it seems like all of those plans were thrown out the window.
The two of them were completely silent and staring at him. Not in any weird way or of disgust, though it wasn’t like he expected that reaction in the first place, but rather a blank stare. As if they were waiting for him to say more than that.
The rock headed guy saw it as an opportunity for him. He took a deep breath and decided to roll with it. “So...what I-I mean by that is...well…” He was tensing up a little bit. Wait no, not a little bit, a lot . He hadn’t felt this nervous since he had first come out to his family.
“I’m a trans guy,” he said, wanting to smack himself in the head. He already said that! This was harder than he thought it was going to be.
There was still silence. Both of the two were waiting for him to say more as it looked like he was planning to. Kouda appreciated the patience of them, but at the same time loathed it at that moment. Why couldn’t one of them speak and break the awkwardness already?
“I-I was planning on saying this way before now, maybe before I started dating you two but the right time never came up and I was just well...I wasn’t sure what you two would think…” He continued to ramble like this as the two were still so patient with him. “And now that we’re all together I-I...I just...I y’know I felt like I had to but I just wasn’t sure when I was supposed to bring it up to you guys…”
He stopped talking for a moment to catch his breath. With all of the talking he was doing and the anxiety that was bubbling up within him, he needed a bit of a break. Frankly, he wasn’t sure why he brought it up and what that would mean for him now. For all he knew, he’d lose not only his boyfriends but them as friends even. What if they told everyone else in the class too? What would the rest all think of him? Of course this was nonsense as his friends had always been open about being positive about the community and most were LGBT themselves including his boyfriends but he still couldn’t help but think irrationally at that moment.
He wanted to know what his boyfriends now thought of him but was too scared to look at either one of them. He trailed off to look at the ground and felt a hand gently placed on his shoulder. He looked to the side and saw Tokoyami’s much smaller hand placed on his shoulder. His touch was soft and warm. The smile that appeared on his beak was the same. It was reassuring.
“Thank you for opening up…” Tokoyami said. “I imagine that it must’ve been hard to say this, yes?”
Kouda scratched the side of his horn. “You’re...okay with it?” he asked, alternating between staring at one then the other, looking for any sign of falsehood.
The silver haired nodded. “Of course.”
“You love us both for us,” Tokoyami said. “It is only fair you are loved for you. And that means all of you…” The way the bird spoke was so sweet and calm.
Kouda wasn’t sure what to say but just stayed where he was. He sniffed a little, feeling the tears well up in his eyes. He was relieved. So very relieved. All of this time he was stressing out and he could finally relax and not think about what they would think.
“A-and...you don’t see me any differently...right?” It was difficult for him to get the words out with how emotional he was/ He was never the best at containing his feelings very well. This was no exception.
Tokoyami gave a soft smile and moved to rub his beak against the other’s cheek. “You’re still Kouji, no matter what.”
Kouda grinned, wrapping his arms around the smaller one’s waist, who let out a squawk in response. “Y-you don’t know how h-happy I am to hear th-that…” he said in a shaky voice. Tokoyami hugged back, not minding that his ribs were getting crushed by his boyfriend at that moment. Or at least, he tried to not pay attention to it.
Shouji scooted closer to the two, patting Kouda’s head with a soft smile.
Kouda eventually pulled away, rubbing his eyes. “Sorry…” he said. “I just...I’m just...r-really happy right now…”
“You have no reason to apologize, my love…” Tokoyami said, gently caressing his face.
The tall teen chuckled a little. “I’m...really glad you two are my boyfriends…”
Now that Kouda had finally opened up a part of himself, it felt freeing and lifted his spirits to know how accepted he was. He wasn’t quite ready to come out to everybody and he doesn’t think he ever will and that’s okay. What matters to him in this moment is to just be happy with what he has now and know that he’ll always be supported no matter what.