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Nobara is underwater.
She’s sleeping soundly at the bottom, the water a comfortable weight, the darkness wrapped around her. Then she’s floating to the surface, the sound becoming less and less muffled, her limbs lighter, the sunlight reaching her blinking eyes.
She wakes up, and Maki is there.
“Hey,” she says, breathless and a little surprised. Maki gazes at her lovingly.
“Hey.”
Maki helps her sit up, fluffs her pillows, and offers her water. Nobara is too proud to ask for any of this but allows Maki to do it anyway. She’s silent as Maki smooths and folds the sheets of the hospital bed back, then leaves her hand resting gently on the duvet.
“I brought you something,” Maki says, and turns to where her tote is sitting on the hospital countertop. She retrieves something fuzzy and pink with hearts on it — and when she drapes it across the bed, Nobara sees it’s a fleece blanket. She has no words, just stares in adoration.
“I thought you might like it. That it might be more comfortable,” Maki continues, obviously nervous. Nobara darts her hand out to lace her fingers with Maki’s, and presses a kiss to her scarred knuckles.
“It’s lovely. Thank you.”
Maki smiles but can’t meet Nobara’s eyes. It’s cute how she’s still so shy, despite how many times she’s bared her heart to the girl holding her hand.
Nobara gently, hesitantly, brushes her fingertips close to the fleece, not even quite touching. She tilts her head slightly and her bangs fall into her good eye.
Maki reaches her free hand over to brush them away from Nobara’s face and —
“Don’t.”
The word is strangled in Nobara’s throat, barely a whisper. Maki immediately pulls her hand back as if burned.
“I’m sorry, it’s not you,” Nobara immediately apologizes. The words tumble out so fast that they’re barely enunciated, and Maki only picks up their meaning by the guilty tone of Nobara’s voice.
“It’s okay if you need space,” Maki says calmly. She moves to pull her hand away from where it’s held in Nobara’s, but the other girl squeezes her palm around Maki’s fingers.
“No, it’s not that.”
“Then…?”
Nobara sighs. “My hair. It’s disgusting, and I can’t do anything about it.”
The bandages covering Nobara’s scarred skin wrap around her head and trap a portion of her hair between them, strands sticking out to the sides. Her hair is oily and sits heavily at the top of her shoulders, having grown since Shibuya. Its softness and bounce are gone, the color dulled, her bangs limp.
Honestly, Maki hadn’t noticed, just like she saw past the bandages and the scars and the tiredness in Nobara’s deep brown eyes. She loved her anyway.
As Maki looks for the words to explain the depth of her affection, Nobara continues, “Ieiri-san changes the bandages every day and used to help me brush out the knots from sleeping on it, but it’s gotten to the point where brushing makes it worse. I don’t have the energy for a shower, and god forbid I’ll get in a bath, much less ask her to help me with one. I don’t know what to ask for, so I ask for nothing. It makes me feel terrible.”
Maki hums in acknowledgement, tracing her thumb back and forth across the top of Nobara’s palm. “Would you let me help, maybe?”
Nobara suddenly looks like a deer caught in the headlights, and she struggles to get out, “Maki, I know we’ve been close for a while now, but I’m really not comfortable–”
“Not that,” Maki assures her quickly. “Nothing you’re uncomfortable with. But I’ve gotten really good at washing my hair in the sink since cutting it. It’s more efficient than taking a wholeass shower when you just need to rinse your hair.”
“I appreciate you immensely, but you are not washing my hair in the sink. ”
“Of course I’m not. I like to think I know you better than that.”
Maki squeezes her hand twice, then pulls away. She searches around the room for a few moments before she finds a basin and determines it fit for the task, carrying it to the sink and filling it with warm water before placing it gently on the counter. She pulls the chair at Nobara’s bedside to the counter, facing it away from the basin, then returns to the cabinet that she retrieved the basin from to collect two white towels.
Nobara watches in awe, and wonders what she did to deserve such love and kindness.
“May I?” Maki asks again, and when she extends her arms to help Nobara out of bed, Nobara accepts.
She’s led to the chair and helped to sit. Maki folds one of the towels over two, three times, then drapes it over both the back of the chair and the rim of the basin.
“Is it alright if I take off the bandages?”
Nobara hesitates, but only for a second. “Yes.”
Maki undoes the bandages as softly as she can, smoothing down Nobara’s hair periodically so it isn’t pulled with them. The last layer falls away to reveal what’s left of the side of Nobara’s face. Angry red scars trace from her forehead to her jawline, her eyebrow is singed and crooked, and her eyelid sags over an empty socket.
Maki can’t look away.
“Stop staring, I know it’s ugly,” mutters Nobara.
“Mm-mm,” hums Maki, shaking her head. “You’re still the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen.”
Nobara bites her lip, eye watering, and Maki spares her any more stares.
“You can put your head back, I’ve got you.”
Nobara closes her eyes and leans back. She feels the other towel being draped across her shoulders and the warmth of the water just at the base of her neck.
It’s so nice, being taken care of. Knowing that the fingers gently running through her hair mean to cause her no harm. Knowing that she can keep her eyes closed and still be safe. Knowing that the little hum she hears belongs to the voice of someone she loves, who’s here, with her.
Maki works quickly but thoroughly, scrubbing through all of Nobara’s short hair and rinsing it before the water grows cold. She squeezes out the excess, holding the strands in one hand and tapping Nobara’s back gently to prompt her to sit up. The towel around her shoulders is now wrapped around her head, gentle pressure and light, repetitive motions drying her hair. Nobara already feels a million times lighter.
She’s helped again to the hospital bed by Maki’s strong, confident support. The fleece blanket is soft and comforting around her as she lets the other girl brush through her mostly-dried hair, putting it into two clumsy, cute braids.
“Maki?”
“Yes?”
Nobara stares at the wall in front of her. “I love you.”
Maki’s hands still where they're tying off the braid.
There’s silence. Maki finishes her task and her hands leave. For the longest, scariest moment, Nobara wonders if she should’ve said nothing at all.
But Maki’s arms wrap around her shoulders from behind, comforting and protective, and she pushes her lips into Nobara’s soft auburn hair. Nobara doesn’t hear the words so much as she feels them against her skin:
“I love you too.”
Nobara leans back into Maki, and prays that every time she hears and says those words from now on will feel as warm as they do in this moment, for the very first time.