Chapter Text
The lights shone brightly onto the stage under Dreams' feet, their light heating his scalp covering him in a warm blanket. His eyes were locked on the patterns woven into the wooden floors waiting for his cue to start speaking. A small ding sounded in his ears and he saw the lights around him dim, the only ones still brightly light were trained on him. He looked up and out into the audience, his eyes landing on his old friend Sapnap, they smiled at each other briefly before Dream returned his attention to everyone else and began speaking.
"I was raised by my grandparents," he started slowly, carefully surveying the audience as he talked,
"Now the three things you need to know about my granddad, well, number one, and probably most important, he had an intense love for beef jerky," he started walking around now, the constant movement helped to keep him focused, he held up a two on his hand,
"Two, he had the kind of temper that could be likened to a levee bursting apart on a hot, dry day. A cachet of anger stored away for any given moment on any given day. My grandmother used to say he was one-half volcano and one-half hurricane, a handful of excuses and a gut full of pain. And because of this, we come to number three," he stopped briefly and help up a three on his hand,
"My granddad had a way with monsters. As a child, I slept in a bedroom full of them - a closet stuffed with long-legged demons who could make it from one end of the room to the other in a single step. My strep throat silence was born from night terrors. When screaming was not enough, so I instead kicked the wall. Through my first remembered breath, the moment I heard thunder, stormed down the hall then burst through my door like a war on its way to a peace protest," he started walking again, this time mirroring actions as he spoke,
"My granddad would rest his hands on his hips, let his fingertips grip his boxers, and lift them up past his waist. Standing like a superhero in the doorway, he would split the night with a whisper and say, all right you motherfuckers. I swear to Christ, I will turn on a god damn light" he paused, "Never has any monster ever heard a battle cry more terrifying than I will turn on a light. And every night for more than four years, my granddad took boogeymen by the ears and threw them out on their asses, dragged the carcasses of dead monsters out of my room, grabbed a broom and swept what was left of my nightmares into a dustpan, emptied them into a trashcan then turn around to say sweet dreams, my boy. Be down the hall if you need me. We were sidekicks. I'd sound the alert, and my granddad would put the hurt on whatever was hiding under my bed or lurking in my closet. He'd deposit his foot so deep into the asses of gargoyles that when they finally turned back into stone, he could wear them as platform boots to a Kiss concert."
Laughter filled the cafe, he let it carry for a moment before making a move to hush the crowd. As they fell silent he continued.
"My granddad used to wear a red polo shirt to bed. He said it used to be white. But one night when I was four, he busted down my bedroom door and had to kick some ass 'cause I was screaming. Now he wears it as a warning, teaching nighttime there are some things far worse than morning," he stopped walking for a moment as he continued, "A night terror differs from a nightmare in that the dreamer will awake and take terror with them back into consciousness. Add to this the fact that the dreamer rarely recalls what they dreamt. And that any attempt to wake them usually ends unsuccessfully,"
"I know this now, but think constantly how my granddad had to just stand there, wait for it to end, and believe everything was going to be OK. How the following day he'd pretend not to be tired. An alarm clock wired into fears I could not recall. He'd wake and thunder down the hall doing the very best he could. He'd be there. An anchor pulling me back from somewhere I could not escape. As a child, I learned not every hero wears a cape. Not everyone gets a ticker-tape parade just for having patience," his voice got softer as he continued, "Not everyone has the confidence needed to stand there, wait for it to end, and believe everything's going to be OK. Not everyone has the courage to say or do nothing when a child is screaming, dreaming of eternity in a room with no doors, no floors to keep you from falling further into panic. Each one small fear suddenly titanic in its implications. Situations so far beyond grotesque, I would've amputated my own imagination just to make them stop. But at the end of each one, he'd be there and he'd say close your eyes. I'm going to turn on a light."
"He'd invite me back to consciousness with a tired smile. The next day, he would sit on the sofa before dinner and say I just need to rest my eyes," he started to pace again, his voice returning to the level it sat at before, "My quest to end night terrors was born from the night he ended up falling asleep at the wheel and driving full speed into a snowbank. My one-man think tank kicked into overdrive. And for five nights in a row my granddad slept soundly, free from worry. We watched the light return to his eyes as if it had just come back from some long vacation."
"But on night number six, the kicks against the bedroom wall made thunderstorm down the hall once more. He stood in the doorway ready to wage war, ready to restore light to darkness, to dismiss shadows, to land heavy-handed blows, Muhammad Ali combos that would give monsters pause to reconsider the options. Get up or stay down. Stay down. That night, he was hungry for a first-round knockout. He was about to go through his usual checklist of monster hiding spots when I said no, it's OK. Go back to bed. With renewed enthusiasm, he looked at me and said, nonsense. These assholes have to pay" he paused again as laughter rung out again, Dream laughed along with them as he delivered his next line, "And I remember the way he dropped to his knees, stuck his head under my bed, and said, what the fuck is all of my beef jerky doing under here?"
Once again he let their laughter ring out for a few minutes, letting the noise lighten the air as he got ready to start closing out his piece. Once it calmed down, he started again.
"I explained to him my not so brilliant plan. I said, I thought if I kept them fed, they'd leave me alone and you could get a good night's sleep. Slow but deep, his lips crept across his face then cracked open into laughter. After a childhood of expecting only anger, he laid down on the ground, his lungs kicking at his chest. Every suppressed joy suddenly brought to the surface. This is the first time I can recall hearing my granddad laugh," his smile dropped slightly as he closed his piece,
"Some thoughts are kept in closets hanging next to skeletons and boogeymen. Sometimes when we believe in monsters, they take up residence under our beds. Our heads fill with the dread needed to keep them fed. We tread our own fear because we somehow thought it was better off being kept secret. It should come as no surprise that some hearts are like a dark bedroom - tombs that we allowed ourselves to shut because we thought that way, everything will be all right. I think about my granddad's laugh. I think often about that night, about how some people are waiting for people like us to slide our hands against their walls and say close your eyes. I'm going to turn on a light," with that the stage went dark and applause rang out through the small area, light returned and Dream gave a small bow before heading off stage for the next person to get ready.
He walked out into the crowd and sat next to Sapnap at the bar, who was in deep conversation with the brunette standing in front of him. Sapnap lightly patted his back to say he knew he was there before returning to his conversation. He turned himself out of the conversation as he ordered himself a drink, but soon the conversation switched onto him.
“Your poem was very nice, can I ask the inspiration?” the brunette asked him, Dream smiled,
“Thank you, and my inspiration was my childhood and how I felt back then. I take a lot of inspiration from letters I would write to myself throughout Middle School and High School,” He answered,
“That’s amazing, I’m glad you found a good way to express your emotions back then,” the brunette said, Dream smiled and nodded,
“I wish you would do that more now,” Sapnap stated, just quiet enough for Dream to hear, “By the way this is Karl,”
“Right, hello, it’s nice to meet you,” The brunette said, holding out his hand, Dream took it and shook it,
“It’s nice to meet you too Karl, you can call me Dream,” he said,
“I’ve heard, Sapnap talks a lot about you,” Karl said with a giggle,
“Oh does he now?” Dream asked teasingly, looking over to the man in question, who just shook his head disapprovingly.
“Y’know, you remind me a lot of the kid I’m hosting this year,” Karl said quietly, almost too soft for Dream to hear, “How often do you put on shows here?”
“Well, it’s December, right? From this month on it’ll be bi-weekly on Saturdays,” Dream said, Karl smiled,
“That’s quite the commitment, how do you do it?” Karl asked, there was something hidden in his voice that Dream couldn’t put a name to,
“I stay ahead on classwork and save afterschool time for friends and family, do this on Saturdays, and leave Sundays for bigger plans or just for study,” He explained, Karl nodded,
“What would you say is a ‘bigger plan?” Karl asked, Dream took a sip from his drink, thinking for a moment,
“Well a couple of years ago Sundays were reserved for time with my ex-partner, now it’s for family gatherings, partying, or dates whenever I start dating again,” He said,
“Dry streak?” Karl asked,
“Not necessarily, my last break up was really hard so I’m kinda still recovering,” Dream admitted sheepishly, Karl nodded,
“Hopeless romantic this one,” Sapnap said, making Karl laugh, Dream rolled his eyes,
“Speaking of which, I should get going, I want to go see my sister before visiting hours are over,” he said finishing his drink, Sapnap nodded and gave him a pat on the back and a knowing smile,
“Oh, is your sister sick or something?” Karl asked, worry lacing his voice,
“Don’t worry Karl, it’s nothing serious, I’ll see you two later!” Dream said as he started walking out, he heard a goodbye follow him as he stepped outside the cafe and into the afternoon light.
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"Dream? What are you writing?"
"Hm? Don't worry about it George, it's very important,"
"Uh-huh, 'very important’, more important than me?"
"Ha, George nothing in the world could be more important than you,"
"You mean it?"
"Stop fucking with me, you know I mean it,"
"I know, I just like hearing you say it,"
"You idiot, come here,"
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"Dream!" Sapnap snapped his fingers in front of Dreams' face, the man in question hummed a response, looking up from his computer, "What's going on with you today man? You've been spaced out for like, half an hour,"
"Seriously? Sorry man," Dream said, looking back to his computer, he heard Sapnap sigh and move to sit next to him,
"Talk to me?" He said lightly, Dream sighed and looked over to him, "Is it about Drista?"
"She's getting worse, doctors are saying a year if she's lucky," Dream sighed, he hated thinking about it,
"Can they remove it?" Sapnap asked, making sure Dream knew he had an out if he chose so, he didn't,
"No, they say it isn't possible, even if it was it's grown so much it would be more of a risk to remove it," Dream said, Sapnap nodded and wrapped an arm around the blonde,
"No matter what happens Dream, you know I'll be here, I promise," Sapnap said, keeping his voice light, Dream chuckled,
"Thank you, man, that means a lot," Dream said, Sapnap gave him a big and warm smile,
"Of course, man! What are best friends for?" Sapnap laughed making Dream laugh as well, "And who knows, maybe Drista is one of those superhumans that can force it into remission,"
"Don't get my hopes up," Dream rolled his eyes, Sapnap shrugged,
"I don't know man, your sister is super strong, and she gets it from her older brother," Sapnap said, nudging him in the side,
"Nah, she gets most of it from her older brother super awesome friend," Dream said, resting his head on the table, Sapnap laughed,
"Yeah, I am pretty awesome huh? Sapnap laughed, Dream rolled his eyes,
"God I shouldn't feed your ego," He said, making both boys laugh, after a few minutes they quiet down and fall into a comfortable silence,
"Seriously man, I'm sorry I've been so distant this week..." Dream said quietly,
"Don't worry about it dude, you gave a great speech Saturday and you've seen Drista six times this week, and it's Friday!" Sapnap said with a laugh, "You get an excuse to be spacey every once in a while, none of us expect you to be perfect all of the time,"
"I know, I just feel like I could be doing more, y'know?" Dream asked, Sapnap nodded,
"I get that, but you need to take your own advice sometimes, you preach forgiving yourself yet you don't forgive yourself enough," Sapnap said, Dream shrugged as the bell went off, "We should go, just, keep in mind what I said, please,"
"I will don't worry," Dream said with a smile, "Thank you,"
"Of course, man, see you next period?" Sapnap asked, Dream nodded,
"See you then.”