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This wasn't Oroochimaru. That was the only thing Jiraya could think as he dragged his tounge over hot pale skin.
Sure, this body talks like Maru and he can see the brilliance behind those once yellow eyes. They're green now.
He's never had green eyes before and it's difficult to wrap his head around.
Jiraya gave foreign lips deep kisses expecting the same taste but reaching something new. Something almost unwanted.
Jiraya wanted to push this body off of him as he rolled his hips deep into Orochimaru, but never made the move to. Instead chasing the pleasure.
He wondered why he was here. It was more than to wet his cock he knew that. He had missed his Maru. Missed that body Jiraya realized slamming into the other.
"Jiraya! Don't...don't. Don't stop" words tumbled out. The voice sounded off...usually Orochimaru tried to keep his voice..for Jiraya. But it was off and maybe that was a cruel and unreasonable request for Jiraya, but wasn't it equally cruel and unresolved on Orochimaru's end to change like he does. To change the one thing he wanted him not to.
Blunt nails dug into his back lacking the sting and bite of the usual manicure, short copper hair pools around Maru as he rolls his head back, and everything feels wrong.
Maybe it's Jiraya's old age or maybe his empathy and logic because everything about this feels wrong because this isn't Orochimaru's body.
How long? How long did he spend chasing Orochimaru down? How many lonely nights and empty beds? How many forgotten and broken dreams were thrown because of Maru? And what of Jiraya's youth? Stolen. Stolen by a man who couldn't even keep a simple request or say four simple words.
He puts this new found rage into the body below him. He leaves bruises and teeth marks in the wake.
He wants to leave, but leaving won't restore his youth. Leaving won't give him his time back. He's in to deep to leave.
Almost like Maru was reading his mind he rolled on top of Jiraya's chest not minding the messes made. As if preventing Jiraya's leave, it's suspicious. Maru wasn't a cuddler by nature nor has he ever thwarted Jiraya's attempts of leaving.
Jiraya used to stay, never shorter than a weekend never longer than a month, but as time wore on he began sticking around less and less to the point where he would almost leave immediately after spilling onto the bedsheets.
Jiraya closes his eyes and threads his fingers through discolored locks before pulling through mildly knotted corse hair that doesn't last nearly enough entirely unlike the black silk his hands still ache for.
He isn't granted the simple luxury to pretend and he feels cheated somehow although ridiculous.
"Who was it?" Jiraya had stopped asking a long time ago, he never had liked what he would hear. No matter how much excitement Maru would told the story with.
"Do you really want to know?" He says breathless and for the first time Jiraya is really starting to hate that voice.
"Why not?" He knows it will just upset him and he know it will just make him angry.
That's the point he supposes. To feel something, to feel connected.
It's always been about connection for Jiraya, bonding and experience. That's why he'd linger. To vent, talk, and go on dates. He misses that. That's what he wants. But that had dwindled to a close a long time ago.
He ignores the story of Liu and tries to enjoy the voice, the voice that is wrong and doesn't fit.
He tunes it out and instead thinks of his young protégé Naruto who he had left behind once again.
The nice thing about Naruto is that he wanted to know where Jiraya went, what he did and what comes next. What they can do to achieve his goals. It reminds him of a younger and happier version of himself as cliche as that is. Nonetheless it's true. Naruto wants to know all the things that Orochimaru doesn't and Jiraya had the urge to have a hand in Naruto's goals that he doesn't get with Orochimaru. While they are incomparable to each other living in different and separate realms of Jiraya's world. He can't help but to think he'd rather be camping with Naruto, who needs a father figure, right now than occupying a bed with Orochimaru, almost a complete stranger.
What makes the situation worse, Jiraya thinks letting his mind come to conclusions, is that this body that once was Lui, a small samurai for hire with a unique crop jutsu, is all used up. Broken, beaten, imperfect, Sasuke will be up next.
There's no doubt about how Naruto feels. Jiraya can see it in his eyes when he talks about Sasuke coming home and their future together.
That boy is head over heels, just like how Jiraya was for Maru many lives ago.
If Orochimaru does what he had done to countless others to Sasuke, he'll have to give him up.
He has heard how Naruto talks about Sasuke.
Sometimes in the unshaken night while Jiraya sneaks away Sasuke is right around the corner, while he won't say anything our right his questions are clear. Despite the way he scoffs in distain, despite the cold bitten way he claims he didn't ask. His face gives him away.
Jiraya has been selfish a many of times in this earth, but he refuses to be as selfish as to stand by Maru and be with him in a way that would defile Sasuke's body. The thought makes him throw up a bit in his mouth.
Perhaps it would be better not to come around so often. Distance himself so when-if- if it happens it won't hurt as badly.
Maru presses cold lips to chapped one's and it never fails to grab the old man's attention. He leans into his ear just for Jiraya to hear after the kiss. Just a whisper.
"I love you." Maru had never said it before. Jiraya was certain that Maru never even thought it before. Perhaps he had felt himself slipping to a second priority or maybe he read Jiraya's mind now.
'I love you' echos in his head and he could feel himself falling all over again.