Chapter Text
When she sees Tuoba Jun again, learns that he is the grandson of the Emperor, the Prince of Gaoyang, she thinks she might be sick. Such a perfect man must, of course, have a flaw. She just wasn’t really prepared for it to be this.
She can’t bring herself to throw the fan away just yet though. When her maid, Bai Zhi, teases her about it she shrugs it off. It was sweet, but a fan would not bring her murdered father and grandmother back. A fan would not save her people.
~~~~
She can’t really help flirting with Tuoba Jun, though. He’s perfect, and he’s clearly smitten. She wants to stop, but she’s so happy when he smiles at her. It’s hard to keep herself in check.
But when he asks why she won’t just admit that she loves him back, she hesitates. She trusts him more than most people. But her name - who she truly is? This broken, vengeful, criminal of a princess that she’s become? She holds her tongue. She walks away.
~~~~
She loves her mother (not her mother - Weiyoung’s mother). She truly adores the sweet woman. She no longer needs her rage and vengeance to motivate her to protect the Seventh Madame. This kind lady who only wants the best for her daughter (not daughter - they only spoke of it the once). She learns to love again through her.
She loves Minde too. Her heart is so full of love for the brave young man who protects her from the rest of their family (his family). He gives her hope. He makes her smile more than anyone else. She watches him and Princess Shanggu dance around each other. She learns to live again through him.
~~~~
Prince Nan’an is a strange man. He flirts with her. He wants her. He’s direct and clear about his intentions. But he’s not warm. Not kind and soft like Tuoba Jun is. Prince Nan’an is a little frightening. Moreso when all of his attention is fixed on you.
Li Changru’s attention is fixed on Prince Nan’an. She likes Changru very much. She hopes that the sweet girl gets everything that she wants, and helps come up with excuses for them to visit the prince’s palace so that her friend can be closer to the man she loves.
~~~~
She’s at Prince Nan’an’s palace, walking in the garden, when the news comes. She stands as still as a statue for untold minutes. She sees nothing, she hears nothing. Her world has ended once again. Her most beloved brother (not brother - but he didn’t know that, and neither does her heart, it seems) Li Minde is dead. Sweet, loyal, brave, honest Li Minde is dead. And Princess Shanggu, little Tuoba Di, who loved Minde so well. She’s dead too.
When she comes back to her body she is being cradled against a strong chest. Someone is carrying her. They are speaking, but she can’t make out the words. It hardly matters. Why should anything matter in a world where Minde is dead.
She can’t breathe. Minde and the little princess have taken all the air with them.