Archive of Our Own ^beta

There wasn't a particularly precise moment when it happened. No instantaneous change that had a clear before and after. It was gradual, similar to the way the sun rises or the way it sets. Dark and then slowly getting brighter until it's the brightest day with sunlight beaming over you as if it had never been dark. And later, the same but opposite. The day was colorful, bright, and then suddenly the colors darkened more and more until it's dark and the only light was the one from the moon and the only shades were variants of black and blue. 

That's how Eren fell in love with his best friend. That's how he realized it. That's how he realized it was unrequited, that while Armin was everything he could ever want, Eren wasn't good enough for him. 

Dark then bright. Bright then dark. 

Slow until it was glaringly obvious.

At least, it seemed, glaringly obvious to everyone but Armin. 

It wasn't like the concept hadn't been brought up before. Their friend group was far too nosy for it not to. But anytime anyone pointed out Eren's massive crush, joked about how whipped he was, or made some juvenile "Just fuck already" joke, Armin would grin and nudge Eren and say, "Don't worry, Eren. Would our friendship really be a friendship if people didn't think we were dating?"

Eren wasn’t typically self-conscious. Ever since he was a kid, he’d always had an ego too big for his own good and a temper to match. Honestly, he had no idea why Armin had ever befriended him, much less why they were best friends. Armin was gentle and kind and smart. So fucking smart. He was so good at so many things and knew so much about everything, and Eren could listen to him talk for hours and not retain a single thing, but he would enjoy every minute. 

Eren knew he was handsome. Guys and girls alike would ask him out or make eyes at him across the room at a cafe or bar. 

But Armin had been there before puberty hit. Armin had been there for the scabbed knees, the temper tantrums, the days of a face caked with dirt and blood and sweat, for the years where Eren swore he didn’t need deodorant, the years where his face broke out in embarrassing pimples, the voice cracks, the choppy, frazzled hair that stuck out haphazardly because he refused to try to tame it. He’d been there “pre-glow-up.” 

Puberty hadn’t been so cruel to Armin. Armin had always been pretty in an angelic sort of way. He would wear his hair long when he was younger, despite the taunts he received for it. His eyes had always been a resplendent, striking shade of blue that was brought out more if Armin wore blue shirts. Always rosy-cheeked and clean. He’d tackled puberty with grace. He always smelled nice, and while his voice hadn’t dropped as drastically as Eren’s, his voice change had been subtler. His face always remained smooth and unblemished. Even his hair cut in high school hadn’t been embarrassing. It only gave his golden locks the chance to swoop and curl delicately, giving him a permanent tousled-hair look, the cut just short enough to accent the graceful swoop and curve of his jawline. 

Somehow, Armin had remained at his side. But at the end of the day, Eren still lacked the one thing that would make him worth Armin’s time as something more than a friend. He lacked intelligence. He couldn’t keep up with the conversations Armin and Mikasa had, or the endless rambles he would go on after watching a documentary. He could count on one hand the books he recognized from Armin’s bookshelves. Even the things he watched required a particular understanding of arts and critical thinking that frustrated Eren.

It made him anxious in a way he had never been around anyone. 

Armin always assured him he was smarter than he gave himself credit for if he ever mentioned it aloud. He would always tell Eren that he was too hard on himself. And more recently, Armin would always point out that they wouldn’t be at the same university if Eren wasn’t smart, if he didn’t have just as much potential as him and Mikasa. Eren stopped bothering with pointing out the fact that they’d both had to read his application and help him revise his essay questions, and that the only reason he had the grades he had in high school was because Mikasa was always checking his work or helping him study. It wasn’t natural to him like it was for Armin and his sister. 

Armin deserved someone who could keep up with his intellect. Someone who was very much not Eren. 

“Are you nervous?” 

Eren blinked, pulling his gaze away from a crow eating crumbs from under one of the tables outside the campus cafe to blue eyes he should be used to looking at. “Huh?” 

Armin frowned as Eren bit into the clicker of his pen. “Are you nervous to sing tonight? You keep spacing out.”

“Oh. No, of course not. Me and Mika have been doing it forever.” He ran his fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, too short to stay in the hair tie he usually wore to study. “I’m just tired. Jean was being obnoxious with Marco last night with their video game.” 

“You guys really should talk about roommate boundaries. I know the campus apartments are pretty big, but the walls are really thin. I can always hear my next door neighbor with her boyfriend.” He rolled his eyes. “Anyway, I’m sorry I’ll miss the performance. Ask Jean or Connie to record it.” 

Eren waved the apology away. “You don’t gotta apologize, Armie. I know your rehearsal schedule, and I know they’re pretty cutthroat here.” Honestly, he was relieved. The song he and Mikasa would be performing was one that always reminded him of Armin, and he didn’t think he could bring himself to perform it if Armin was there listening, even if it wasn’t written by one of them. 

Armin smiled and put his stuff into his messenger bag. “I’ll text you later for dinner.” 

“Hey, Romeo. Ready to go?” Eren jumped slightly at the sound of Ymir’s raspy voice right behind him. He turned to see her looking down at him, one arm around Historia’s shoulders. “Eren.” 

“You’re in the play?” he asked. 

She grimaced. “No. I just walk Historia to rehearsals. It’s what good significant others do, you know? Why aren’t you walking Armin?” 

Eren felt his cheeks flare, but Armin just grinned. “Leave him alone, Ymir. He’s studying. How are your lines going, Juliet?” he asked as he opened the door for Historia to walk through. He waved at Eren one more time before turning away. 

Ymir bent down to his ear to whisper, “Pussy,” before she followed the two of them out. Eren only answered by flipping her off behind her back. 

Despite having his textbook, laptop, and journal out, Eren couldn’t bring himself to think about ethics or the five page midterm he had to prepare for. He put his things up and instead moved to sit on the leather couch and scrolled through his phone until he felt something whack him in the face. 

“Ow, what the- Mika, what the fuck?” 

“I kept calling your name and you didn’t hear me. Where’s your guitar?” 

Eren sat up and looked around the cafe to find that the tables and chairs had been rearranged for the performances that would take place that evening. “Oh shit. Fuck. I lost track of time.” Mikasa arched an eyebrow and nudged his legs aside so she had a place to sit while resting her own guitar case against the couch. Eren called Jean, crossing his fingers until he picked up. 

“Forgot the guitar?” he answered flatly. 

“Please, please, please, I’ll buy you that weird drink with all the syrups you add.” 

“Well, I’m a phenomenal roommate, and I already have it with me. I’m by the theatre.” 

Eren rolled his eyes, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Thanks, man.” He hung up and gave his sister a thumbs up. “It’s all under control.” She shook her head at him and took a sip of her water.

Within a few minutes, the cafe got crowded. Partially because evening classes were out, partially because friends came to support the performers. Jean arrived with Marco in tow, Eren’s guitar slung across his back. Connie arrived with Sasha and Niccolo and they waved excitedly as they got in line to get drinks. Ymir turned up a few minutes after them. The performances began once the cafe lights dimmed and a little six inch tall platform was set up with microphones. 

The first was a poet. Eren took the time to leave and tune his guitar, tucking his hair behind his ear and closing his eyes to concentrate. Once it was tuned he went back inside, catching a girl singing a cover of a song from a musical. It sounded familiar, and he knew Armin would know which one it was. 

Aside from those who had rehearsals like Armin, Historia, and Annie, everyone in their friend group had come to watch.

Eren and Mikasa took the stage next. While Mikasa set up her amp, Eren stepped up to the mic. 

“I’m Eren, this is my sister Mikasa. The song we’re singing tonight once Mika gets set up is called For You.” There was a polite round of applause, and over it, the obnoxious cheering of their friends. Eren grinned and spoke into the mic again. “You guys are idiots.” Jean whistled in response. 

With a roll of his eyes, Eren pulled the guitar strap over his shoulder and nodded at Mikasa. 

Eren closed his eyes as the mix of his electric and her acoustic filled the speakers of the cafe. Mikasa’s voice pierced through first, a high vibrato as she sang the first verse. Eren joined her right before the chorus, harmonizing with her easily. 

The lyrics washed over him as images of his best friend flashed behind his eyelids. The strings of his guitar dug into his fingertips as his hands found the chords by muscle memory. His fingers plucked at the strings, creating a haunting melody paired with Mikasa’s. Their voices rose and fell, and they came in and out of verses, letting each other’s voice shine at different parts, while they melded together at others. There was a cheer as Mikasa handled a small guitar solo before Eren tackled the outro. The final, slower strums brought the song to a close and a round of applause filled the tiny silence that followed. Mikasa murmured a thank you into the microphone as his friends continued their obnoxious whistles and cheers.

Within seconds of settling back into the couch with Jean, Marco, and Connie, his phone buzzed with a message in their group chat. 

Marco had recorded the whole thing and sent it with the caption- Sibling duo strikes again! For those of you who couldn’t make it :) 

A handful of other performers went up before the cafe went back to its idle chatter and the lights went back to normal. The group sat around a bigger table, broken up into different conversations. Jean leaned across Eren and tugged at Mikasa’s scarf. 

“We all know who Eren was singing about. What about you?” 

Mikasa pulled her scarf back and arched an eyebrow. “The song was Eren’s choice.” 

“And you,” Eren said, shoving his hand in Jean’s face to sit him back down, “are a bigger idiot than I am.” 

“At least I asked Armin out when I liked him,” Jean answered. 

“And he shot you down because you’re an idiot,” Eren pointed out. 

Jean laughed and kicked him under the table. “Speaking of, I actually wanted to ask him if he could be in a film I need to do for my film appreciation class. He's the only guy actor I know well enough, but I wanted to run it by you." 

Eren's face twisted up in confusion. "Why? It's up to Armin-" 

"Because there's, uh." Jean turned a little red. "Well it's a queer piece, and it involves a kissing scene." 

As horrified as he was by the prospect of Jean kissing Armin, Eren didn't let it show. "I'm not Armin's keeper. You should just ask him." 

Jean narrowed his eyes as if trying to decipher a second meaning in Eren's words before nodding. "Yeah, I will then. Hey- You owe me a drink. Gimme your meal plan card.” With a roll of his eyes, Eren handed his card over. “C’mon Marco, I’m buying,” Jean said, pulling Marco out of his seat. 

“Wha- Jean!” He scowled as Jean pretended not to hear him. He scoffed as he saw Jean lean against Marco, speaking too close to his face. “Y’know at least I acknowledge my feelings for my best friend. Look at him. How am I the idiot of the group?” 

“He’s the idiot. You’re just a pussy,” Ymir said, making Eren jump slightly. He hadn’t noticed that she’d taken Jean’s seat. 

“No one asked you,” he grumbled. “Besides isn’t using the word pussy as a derogatory term against your feminist views or whatever the fuck?” 

Ymir grinned. “You’re starting to sound like Armin, loverboy. Anyway, I’m smart enough to differentiate between pussy as a wonderland and pussy as an idiot too scared to admit his feelings.” 

“Alright, enough with that,” Mikasa interrupted. “Anyway, you’re a lot of talk considering how long it took you to admit to Historia that your flirting was real and not playful girl banter.” 

“Low blow,” Ymir muttered. “Oh, well, I just thought you’d like the reminder that rehearsals are out. I’m about to get Historia. Didn’t Armin say you were meeting for dinner?” 

Eren checked his phone. “Shit, she’s right. Mika, we gotta go meet Armin.” 

“You need your card back,” she pointed out. 

Eren cursed under his breath. Once Jean had paid, Eren stood up and took his card back without much explanation, shouldering his backpack and his guitar while Mikasa followed him. Ymir laughed as she walked beside her and shook her head, but at the very least, she kept her comments to herself. 

The three of them walked down the sidewalk toward the theatre embracing the gentle October breeze that chilled the night. 

Sure enough, right outside the theatre, on a stone bench, three blond heads huddled together over a phone. As they got closer, Eren could hear the recording of the song he and Mikasa had performed. All three of them looked up and Eren’s breath caught at the sight of Armin’s smile. 

“You guys did amazing!” Historia said. “I wish I’d gotten a chance to see it live.” 

“Maybe we still can?” Armin suggested. “Eren, you have your guitar. We can’t connect the electric one, but still.” 

Eren panicked at the idea of singing the words of longing, obvious love, the declaration that if someone just looked long enough, they could see everything he felt. He couldn’t do that in front of Armin. 

“The dining hall will close soon. I thought we were getting dinner,” Mikasa said, saving Eren from the panic that had begun to make his hands clam up. 

“Oh, right!” Armin said. “I’m starving. See you two tomorrow!” He waved at Annie and Historia, then started walking with Mikasa and Eren. Mikasa asked about the rehearsal, and Armin started spewing weird names that Eren struggled to keep up with. But he still listened. He watched as Armin started gesturing with his hands to describe the staging, the way he waved his own words away. 

Eren didn’t understand much past the basics of dialogue and directors and the beginning of stage blocking- things he only knew about because Armin had been part of theatre for so long now- but he nodded along anyway. Mikasa, who knew the play well, took over most of the conversation. 

It wasn’t until they sat down with their food that Armin turned to Eren and asked how the rest of his studying went. 

“I didn’t get the outline done yet, but… I mean it isn’t due until next week anyway.” 

“Do you want us to help?” Mikasa asked.

“No, it’s fine. You don’t even have this class. And Armin, I know you only tutor at certain hours with your own work and the rehearsals on top of it. It’s fine, I can figure it out.” 

Armin smiled softly. Like Eren had done something right. He’d felt the way frustration snuck up on him with how stupid he felt, but that smile made it go away. “I have that class too, though. We can work on the outlines together this weekend,” Armin offered. “Before the homecoming fair.” 

“If it’s not a bother, yeah.” 

“Never,” Armin answered with a little scrunch of his nose that made Eren want to yank his hair out. He settled for running his hand through it instead. 

The rest of their dinner went by with conversation about the latest noteworthy Netflix series, new song ideas for Eren and Mikasa to perform, and inside jokes that had them spitting out their drinks or huddling their heads together over the table to quiet each other. It left Eren with warm cheeks and a desire to bottle up Armin’s laughter, but also a sense of belonging and familiarity that had lived in his heart since they were kids. 

Mikasa left for her dorm with a simple wave while Armin followed Eren down the line of campus apartments. 

As they neared the juncture of the sidewalk where Armin usually split away, he turned to Eren and asked, “Hey, can I study at your place for a little bit? I can’t concentrate at my place with my roommate and my neighbor.” 

“I mean, I dunno how much better Jean will be, but yeah. He mentioned wanting to ask you something anyway.” Eren nodded his head in the direction of his apartment and started walking with Armin at his side.

The apartment was empty when they arrived, but Jean and Marco’s controllers were still on the coffee table, and the pause menu for the game they were playing was still on the TV screen. Eren cleared the mess of open cookies, scattered papers, and haphazardly tossed chargers that littered the small dining table for Armin to sit and lay out his things. 

As Armin pulled out a journal, Eren started for his room to put his own stuff up and change into comfier clothes. As he pulled on a different shirt, a gentle tapping on his door pulled his attention away.

Armin leaned against the door and pointed to Eren’s guitar where it leaned against a corner. “Can I hear the song you and Mikasa sang? As the best friend I think I get live performance privileges.” He grinned, with the end of his pen trapped between his teeth, and Eren couldn’t say no when all of his energy was going into not kissing him right there. 

“It’s supposed to be a duet,” Eren said, already grabbing his guitar. Armin’s grin widened and he sat down on the bed, bright-eyed like a little kid. Eren shook his head and checked the tuning on his guitar before closing his eyes. He didn’t want to look at Armin while singing the song. 

It sounded different without Mikasa and her electric guitar. Eren could handle her parts of the song just fine, and it was easy to switch to the melody rather than the harmony. The song felt more personal when it was just Eren and his guitar. Softer, more vulnerable, more of an admission. It made his voice shake and his cheeks feel hot. 

He forced the shakiness away and continued the song until he was done. When he opened his eyes, Armin’s gaze had softened, glued to the guitar. 

“That’s a beautiful song,” he whispered. His eyes flitted up to Eren’s, his blue eyes sparkling with the reflection of the colorful LEDs hung around the room. He smiled again. “I’m always amazed by your talent.”

Eren rolled his eyes and leaned the guitar against the wall. “Please, Armie. The chords for that song are basic, and you’ve heard me and Mika play for years. What’s the flattery for?” 

A pen thwacked against his temple, making him exclaim in shock, though it hadn’t hurt. “Take the compliment,” Armin said flatly. He got up from the bed and crossed his arms. “Not everyone can do what you do. Or do it the way you do. You could round up all the theatre majors, and none of them would sing like you do. Besides….” He stepped closer and smiled again. “I still remember the first time you picked up a guitar. You played until your fingertips were purple. You’d stare at the frets like you wanted to snap the guitar neck in half. And you had to pause between chords.” He arched an eyebrow as if he’d made his point, but Eren only felt embarrassed about his earlier years. “So yeah, of course I’m gonna be amazed when I think about how much farther you’ve come!” Armin said loudly as he left the room and sat down at the table. “You play without looking and even manage those barre chords you used to hate like it’s second nature.” 

Eren groaned into his hand and walked out to join Armin at the table. “You’re brighter than the sun, Armie,” he said. “Here’s your pen.” 

Armin flashed another smile, and Eren ruffled his hair instead of brushing it out of his eyes. As soon as Armin opened a textbook, Eren knew to leave him to study, so he pulled out his phone to play a detective game he’d gotten addicted to. 

The door opened a while later and Jean walked in, obnoxiously singing something that Eren couldn't even decipher. He broke off in the middle of it when he saw Armin look up. 

"Shit, sorry Armin. Didn't know you were studying here." 

"It's fine. Where's Marco?" 

"Early class tomorrow." Jean dipped into the kitchen, rummaging for something before returning with a bag of chips that he offered out to Eren as he chewed. "I was hoping to run into you." 

Eren paused his game and took the chip bag, watching as Jean sat down with them and Armin averted his attention from his notes again. 

Jean cleared his throat, glancing very briefly at Eren. "So I need to make a short film for my midterm, and I was hoping you could be in it. You're the only actor I know well enough to not feel weird with. But I know you have rehearsals, so I'm asking now. A-and also, well, there's a kissing scene, so if you're not-" 

"Why aren't you asking Marco then?" Armin asked, furrowing his eyebrows. Eren stopped chewing on a chip to look at him in confusion. "Yeah, aren't you two like… together? It wouldn't take much acting-" 

"What, no!" Jean spluttered, turning an even brighter shade of red. "We're not- no, we're not dating." 

"Oh!" Armin grimaced, but Eren was pretty sure that he'd never even been under the impression that they were together. "Sorry. But yeah, sure, I'll help with it. If you have a script just email it to me, or whatever scene ideas you have. I'll tell you when I'm free." 

Taking the chip bag from Eren a little too roughly, Jean nodded. "Yeah, sure. Oh, and don't worry, I won't be weird about the kiss. My crush on you is gone, I swear." 

Armin smirked, though it was clear he was trying to hold it back. "Yeah. I know. You're into Marco." 

"No I-" Jean frowned, his gaze turning distant as it drifted away from them. "Oh. Oh, fuck." 

"Do you… still want me to help?" Armin asked, grimacing. 

"Well, yeah! Especially now! Ah, Jesus Christ." Jean stood back up, stuffing his mouth with chips as he went to his room muttering all the way. They heard a very distant, muffled groan from the closed door that had Armin laughing quietly as he returned to his notes. 

Eren looked at him and the faint flush in his cheeks. "You little shit," he whispered. Armin glanced up at him, not even bothering to play innocent. "You broke him." 

"Well, he wasn't going to figure it out on his own, and Marco was never gonna do anything about it. During our rehearsal break today, Annie just kept going on about how often Marco goes to her to vent about it. They just needed a nudge." Armin raised an eyebrow and pointed his pen at Eren. "Plus it can be payback for all the times he teased our friendship." 

"Dunno if I'm scared or impressed," Eren said with a smile. 

"Mm. Be both." Armin laughed and turned back to his notes. 

Frankly, Eren had half a mind to scream right there. Armin, his best friend, could be so smart. But Armin, the love of his life, could be so dumb it hurt. And at that moment, it did hurt a little bit. Though Eren wasn't sure if it would be better if Armin knew the truth about his feelings or not. 

Or, his brain cruelly supplied, he does know and doesn't say anything about it because he doesn't feel the same way. 

Eren winced at himself and shook the thought away. It didn't matter if that was the case. Either Armin knew and didn't feel the same but continued to treat Eren normally as his best friend, or Armin was just that oblivious to what was evident to everyone else. Either way, Eren had his best friend, and that's all that he cared about. 

He'd settled with the fact that it would never turn into anything more a long time ago. 

With Armin lost in his studies, Eren went to get the inflatable mattress from his closet to sleep on. The couch was never comfortable, and the times Eren had fallen asleep on it led to Jean waking him by pinching his nose. 

“What are you doing?” Armin called over the obnoxious volume of the air pump. He peered around the doorway, eyebrows furrowed before his expression fell flat. “Are you serious? Eren, we’ve shared beds since we were five, what-” 

Really, the separate sleeping situation wasn’t so much about Eren being nervous to sleep close to Armin. The fact was that Armin was a bed hog and never failed to leave Eren with some sort of injury now that both their limbs were much longer. 

“You’re a menace in your sleep. The last time I let you talk me out of the air mattress you kneed me in the stomach. Relax, you can take my bed.” 

“I am not that bad.” 

Eren grinned and waited until the mattress was fully inflated so he could turn off the air pump before answering. “You and I both know that you are.” Armin rolled his eyes and grumbled before going back to the dining table.

---

Instead of waking up to getting his nose pinched, Eren woke up to gentle shaking and the smell of cinnamon wafting in from the kitchen. He opened his eyes, immediately wiping the drool off his chin with the back of his hand as big blue eyes peered down at him. 

“Thanks for letting me stay. I made breakfast. I’d stay to eat, but I gotta get dressed at my apartment and meet with Dr. Smith. I’ll see you at the festival after rehearsals today?”

Eren groaned and sat up, trying to placate his wild hair and rub away the eye boogers. “Yeah, for sure. And for lunch. Uh, thanks for breakfast.” He blinked up, still squinting at the brightness of his room. Armin was still wearing the shirt he borrowed to sleep, the sleeves too big and the hem dropping too low, the fabric looser than all the well-fitted shirts Armin usually wore. 

“I’ll get this back to you after I wash it,” Armin said, noticing Eren’s attention. 

“Don’t worry about it.” He stood up and walked out to the dining room where Jean was already serving himself pancakes, looking tired and distressed. “Uh, morning.” 

Jean grunted and sat down, drawing the pancakes in syrup while Armin suppressed a smile. “He’s still wrapping his head around last night’s revelation.” Fearlessly, he tousled Jean’s hair and shouldered his messenger bag. “Make a move, Jean. He’s into you too, I’m pretty sure.” 

Jean looked up, his eyes sharp, briefly catching Eren as his mouth opened. 

“Okay, Armie, I’ll see you later. Thanks again for breakfast,” Eren interrupted immediately. He didn’t want to be in the crossfire of revelations and confessions just because Jean was mad that he hadn’t noticed his own feelings. Armin waved and left the apartment. As the door shut again, Eren turned to Jean. “You were not about to do what I think you were, asshole.” 

Jean flipped him off and stuffed his face with pancakes. 

A few moments later, once Eren was halfway through his own breakfast, Jean spoke. “How did you realize it? With Armin?” 

Eren bit his lip and shrugged. “It was slow. There wasn’t this one moment of oh this is the thing that makes it official, it just built up. By the time it clicked I couldn’t even panic because I was pretty sure I’d been feeling that way for a while.” 

“When did it click?” 

“I made him laugh so hard that soda came out of his nose,” Eren said with a smile. “He was all red-faced and watery eyed and somehow laughing and crying at the same time, and he would just say my name and hit my arm. I thought he looked breathtaking right then and there. I was happy I could make him laugh, and my brain got all fluttery looking at him, and… I just realized people don’t usually look at their best friend like that.” He bit his lip and swirled a pancake in syrup. “How’d it click for you when Armin brought it up?” 

Jean glared at his pancakes before his features softened, and Eren knew the feeling all too well. “Sort of a bunch of shit at once,” he muttered. “I was saying no, but at the same time I thought of how what that might look like and my stomach flipped and I thought of how he smiles when he sees me and the fact that he let me connect all the freckles on his face with my pen once and how I’ve thought about kissing more than once, but- I don’t know why it never clicked then.” He guzzled down his orange juice before looking at Eren with a furrow between his eyebrows. “Do you really think he likes me back?” 

Eren grinned. “I think you’re the only one who hasn’t noticed Marco’s feelings the way that Armin is the only one who hasn’t noticed mine. So yeah.” 

Jean covered his face and groaned while Eren patted his back sympathetically. 

Eren’s classes were interspersed that day. Three on different parts of campus with anywhere between one to two hours between them. He had Connie for his first one, then spent the break between listening to music and working through song lyrics in the cafe. The second one was Ethics. 

He had the same professor as Armin, though at a different time. Dr. Erwin Smith, who didn’t mind going by Erwin with his students. He’d asked Eren how his paper outline was going, and when Eren only shook his head, he frowned, but didn’t push. Instead, once class was over and Eren made his way to the nearest dining hall to meet with Mikasa, Armin, and Sasha, he received an email. 

Eren-

A reminder that my office hours are M/W from 1:15-3:30 or whenever you make an appointment. If you have any questions I’m also available by email, just know that I don’t check emails after noon on Saturdays. Don’t hesitate to ask for help- it’s what I’m here for. :) 

Dr. Erwin Smith
Chair of Humanities

Eren grimaced at his phone then stuffed it away in favor of looking for his sister and friends. 

He got in line to buy a sandwich, scanning their usual areas for them. When he spotted them, he felt his cheeks go red and his breaths stop. 

Armin was still wearing his shirt. He had a black and white striped long-sleeve underneath and Eren’s forest green shirt over it. He was laughing, wincing as Sasha waved Mikasa’s scarf around and yelled something unintelligible over the voices of the other students. 

Once he regained the ability to breathe, he made his way to the table and sat down beside his sister. 

“Sasha, give it back,” she said sharply. 

“Then spill the beans.” 

“What’s happening?” Eren asked. 

“Nothing-” 

“Mikasa has a hickey and won’t tell us from who,” Sasha answered. 

Eren grimaced. “Eww,” he groaned. That earned him a hard punch against his shoulder. “Ow! What, I would also like this conversation to end, I’m on your si- holy shit, Mika.” Eren blinked as he caught the splotchy purple marks along her neck. “Those… weren’t there yesterday. That’s… ew, ew, ew.” 

Mikasa turned red as Armin laughed. “It doesn’t matter!” she snapped. “Sasha, give me my scarf back or I’ll tell Niccolo that you didn’t actually like his attempt at a tres leches cake.” 

Sasha’s face fell. “You’re a monster,” she muttered, tossing the scarf back at her. Mikasa put it back on, covering the marks on her neck for the most part. Before they could say anything more, Connie slammed his hands on their table, appearing as though out of thin air. 

“Something’s wrong with Jean,” he announced. Armin shared a look with Eren while Sasha and Mikasa only stared at him expectantly. “He’s been weird all day. Totally fucking checked out of reality. Then he ditched for the library when we were supposed to go to the mall to find something to wear for Ymir’s party after the festival today. The fucking library.” 

“Sounds like the usual weird Jean antics to me,” Sasha said.

“Doesn’t Marco hang out at the library between classes?” Armin asked. 

Realization dawned on Connie. “That asshole. Can’t believe he ditched me for Marco and didn’t even tell me.” 

Mikasa hummed and leaned out of her chair to look out the window. “I don’t think he did. I’m pretty sure that was him making a beeline for the door just now.” Connie threw his arms in the air then sat down beside Sasha. 

They talked together long enough for Eren to finish his sandwich before Armin had to leave to get to his last class. He waved at everyone before disappearing through the double doors. 

Almost immediately, Sasha leaned over the table to get in Eren’s face. “I’m 90% certain that your shirt, Eren Yeager.” 

“It was,” Mikasa supplied helpfully. 

“Mika, it’s awfully hot in here, are you sure you don’t want to take off your scarf?” he asked, earning a glare from her. “He studied at my place and I let him sleep there. So he borrowed a shirt.” He shrugged. “Listen, I have a lot to stress about with classes and this stupid ethics paper, please give the teasing a break.” 

“All in favor of the belief that Armin is in love with Eren say aye,” Sasha said, resulting in her and Connie saying, “Aye.” She frowned and looked at Mikasa who’d stayed silent. “Damn, really, Mikasa?” 

“It’s hard to tell with Armin,” she said. “We’ve been friends with him since we were kids. He’s always been close and touchy with Eren. They’ve always borrowed each other’s clothes. Hell, Eren’s my brother and it still took until he told me for me to know he was into Armin.” She shrugged. 

“Alright, I gotta get to class,” Eren muttered, though he still had a good half hour before it started. “See you guys at the homecoming festival tonight.” He didn’t wait to hear their responses before leaving the dining hall.

He got through his class and returned to his apartment, eager to toss his backpack into his closet for the weekend. He was surprised to find Armin in his apartment sitting on the couch with Jean as he looked at the laptop screen between them. 

They greeted him, Jean with a meager wave and Armin with a smile as he scooted over for him to sit too. 

“What’re you two doing?” 

“Going over Jean’s film concept. I think we can get this done in a couple days next weekend, just be sure to rent out a video camera in time.” Armin looked over at Eren as he sat down. “You think you could help as a cameraman? Just pressing record and stop.” 

“Sure,” Eren said, pulling the laptop into his own lap. He read over the document. It wasn’t a script but rather a compilation of notes and scene ideas with camera shot names beside them. “So it’s like a music video?” 

“Yeah, I really didn’t wanna have to try speaking and sounding like an over-the-top robot. But what do you think I should add or take away. Is it too cheesy?” Jean asked, crossing his arms as if bracing himself for the critique. 

To Eren, it was in fact a cheesy concept. A couple who’s together then breaks up and misses each other then returns to each other with a hopeful ending. It was the stuff of romcoms and swoony Nicholas Sparks adaptations that everyone except him seemed to watch. 

“No, I think it’s beautiful,” Armin said. “I like that you want to show that love doesn’t fix everything, but that it’s something personal. And the relationship has a new, healthier start. Just be sure to have a grip on the story. Even if we’re just filming four minutes of this couple, think of what their lives are. It’ll help make the video feel more emotional.” 

Eren bit back a grin. There was Armin’s romantic heart and his theatre expertise and analytical mind at work, even with a four minute project. “Didn’t know you were such a romantic,” he said, passing the laptop back to Jean. 

“Shut up, you’re singing love songs in the cafe every other week.” 

Armin laughed and shook his head. “Eren, are you going to Ymir’s party?” 

“I don’t know yet. Why, are you?” 

Armin nodded. “Historia invited me. So it’ll be rehearsals, the end of the homecoming festival, then the party.” 

“Well, yeah, I’ll go. Hopefully Ymir doesn’t spend the night trying to make me miserable.” Eren stood up again, leaving his backpack in his room and grabbing his guitar. He plucked randomly, finding random melodies to repeat as he lounged on the armchair. Meanwhile Armin and Jean plotted out a whole life for this fake couple that Jean’s film revolved around. 

At some point Jean asked Armin if he could cry on camera, and as Armin started with a long-winded, elaborate answer, his voice began to shake and tears began to spill over his cheeks. Eren only smiled as Jean stared at him, seemingly at a loss about what to do as Armin broke down in tears. That little trick had gotten him and Mikasa out of trouble more times than Eren could count. He knew it so well that he could pinpoint the difference between his real tears and his acting ones. 

Armin always hid his face in his hands when he really cried, keeping his gaze down ashis hair fell over his forehead in a feeble attempt to shield himself, and he’d bite his lip hard enough to make it bleed in his attempts to pull himself together. But when he acted, it was open; it was a performance. He was all wide, glossy eyes, streams of tears, and in cases where he really had to sob, he wasn’t afraid to make it ugly with snot and pained screams. Eren had seen that performance twice- once in a play from high school, his wails powerful enough to leave the audience dead silent as the lights went down on the scene, and once when they were little kids and Eren had tried to intervene with some bully who was picking on him. He cried so frantically that a teacher came and caught the bully before he could touch Eren, and as soon as the teacher had taken him, Armin’s tears stopped. 

“Jesus Christ, Armin,” Jean breathed out, offering Armin tissues. 

Armin only wiped his face and laughed. 

A while later, Armin left the apartment to get to rehearsals, leaving Jean and Eren to wait until the start of the homecoming festival. 

-- 

Eren found the whole friend group at the homecoming festival. They lingered around the food trucks with cotton candy. Mikasa had already gotten him one and held it out when he arrived. Jean had stayed behind, claiming he was tired and would catch up after a nap, but when Eren relayed that to a very confused Marco, he had a feeling it was just an excuse. 

He split away with Mikasa to get to all the booth games, making it a competition to see which of them could get the most amount of prizes. It was pretty even until the ring toss which Mikasa dominated while Eren failed miserably until he’d spent all his tickets. 

They stood in line for the mini Swing Ride, and Eren tugged ather scarf slightly, making her jump. “You gonna tell me who you’re hooking up with? No details, please. But it’s not like you to hide things from me.” 

“You hid your feelings for Armin.” 

“You were the only person I told by choice,” he corrected. “Everyone else assumed or teased until my own stupid blushing gave it away.” 

Mikasa narrowed her eyes but looked away. “It’s a secret. You can’t tell anyone, not even Armin.” Eren nodded. Her cheeks turned a brighter shade of red. “Annie.” 

Eren’s eyes went wide, but before he could say anything, Mikasa elbowed him in the stomach, cutting off the exclamation. “Ow,” he wheezed. “Wha- Annie? As in your roommate?” he whispered. “As in Armin’s freshman year ex?” 

“Oh please, they dated for like two weeks first semester.” She cleared her throat. “But yes. Her.” 

“Okay. And why is it a secret?” 

Mikasa shrugged. “It’s just easier. It’s still new, so we wanna be sure it works out before telling everyone.” 

Eren pulled his hair out of its ponytail in hopes of staving off the chill that settled over him as the sun went down. “I’d offer to give her a shovel talk, but honestly, Mika- I don’t think I could take her.” His sister laughed and shook her head. “Gays really do gather in herds,” he muttered. 

“Jesus, Eren,” Mikasa muttered, stepping up as the line moved for the next round of people. 

The sun had long since disappeared, when those who were in  rehearsals arrived and caught up with the group. Eren, who’d arrived in a short-sleeved shirt since it was hot when he left his apartment, and he hadn’t expected the windiness, was freezing, and he sought warmth from the food trucks as his friends dispersed among them to get food. 

Armin had a turkey leg in his hand when he saw Eren and laughed. “You didn’t bring a sweater?” 

“It wasn’t this cold a few hours ago.”

Armin shook his head and held out his turkey leg before he shrugged off the over-sized black bomber jacket he’d been wearing. “Here, it should fit you right. I have long-sleeves anyway.” He took back his turkey leg, not giving Eren a chance to argue. Which he didn’t plan to anyway. He was too cold to tough it out and pretend he wasn’t. 

The jacket fit a little short at the sleeves, but was otherwise a good fit. It was warm, and it smelled like the gingerbread candle Armin always had lit in his own apartment. He didn’t even care when Ymir and Connie started commenting on it. 

The group got in line for the Ferris Wheel last, broken off in pairs. Jean never arrived, so Marco sat with Connie. Sasha with her boyfriend, Mikasa with Annie, Ymir with Historia, and Armin with Eren. 

“I didn’t ask how rehearsals went,” Eren said, knowing he was treading dangerous waters. If Armin started explaining more of the insane dialogue in that play, he would be lost and look like an idiot. But he always asked about rehearsals, and Armin put so much time into theatre, that not asking about it felt like a worse alternative. 

“It went really well. We blocked out the whole thing today. I think I can be mostly off script by Tuesday, so that should make it easier to handle blocking.” He frowned as he looked across the Ferris Wheel where Marco was laughing at something Connie had said. “Do you think I messed up, intervening with Jean and Marco? Honestly.” 

Eren followed his gaze, watching their cart go down as his and Armin’s went up. “I think it’s a heavy realization to have. Usually it’s subtle, so having it laid out could be a shock. But I also think Jean would’ve taken another three years to figure it out if you hadn’t planted the seed.” He turned to look at Armin. “Give him some time. He’ll figure it out. Marco isn’t one to let him hide for long anyway.” 

Armin groaned and looked away from Eren to the sight of the city below the hill the school sat on as they reached the top. “You know how Connie said Jean disappeared after his classes? Apparently he’d gone to find Marco and talk to him, but he panicked and went home instead. For as much as he pokes fun at our friendship, you’d think he would’ve already known about himself. I didn’t think it would actually shock him that much.” He sighed, biting his lip as he fiddled with the end of the forest green shirt he wore. “I should apologize when I see him again. Probably set them back instead of pushing them forward like I hoped.” 

“Well, even if Marco does feel the same, it’s probably terrifying to think of going from best friends to dating,” Eren said, looking out at the city before they started coming down. He didn’t want to look at Armin as he spoke, afraid that he’d see right through him. “It’s probably hard for Jean to believe Marco feels the same, even if it’s obvious to the rest of us. But I think they’ll figure it out.” Eren pointed out to one of the food trucks before Armin could say anything in response. “I didn’t see the funnel cake truck when we were there.” 

“We can go when we get off. I want kettle corn before everything shuts down.” 

Once they got off the Ferris Wheel, they managed to get funnel cake and kettle corn, then they sat at the soccer field with their friends as the festival began to back up. It was dark, save for a fluorescent street lamp they were close enough to. 

After a few moments of resting, Ymir said she had to head to her house to set up and drunk proof her house. The lot of them offered to go with and help. Since her house was on a street across from their campus, they all walked, talking and laughing a little too loud for the dead of night.

They arrived at Ymir’s house in the middle of a conversation about acting kisses versus real kisses that had been sparked when Connie asked if Armin and Historia already kissed at rehearsals. 

“Can’t you just stage-kiss?” Niccolo asked, shrugging off his jacket as they stepped inside. 

“Well, sure, but it takes a away a lot of believability,” Historia said, scrunching her nose. “It’s not a big deal really. There’s a separation of real life and a character’s life, so it’s not as awkward as you might think.” 

“Stage-kiss?” Sasha asked. 

“You put your thumb over their lips right before the kiss so you’re not actually kissing, it just looks like you are, especially from far away,” Eren said. “Armin would do it in high school sometimes, if his co-star felt awkward.” 

“But faceholding can feel so unnatural,” Historia added. 

“Just ‘cause you’re not used to it,” Armin said. When Historia raised an eyebrow at him, he shrugged. “It’s so normal for a guy to hold a girl’s face when they kiss, it’s in every movie in existence, but you know, sometimes guys like having their face held too.” 

“Is this you telling me to hold your face when I kiss you?” Historia deadpanned, crossing her arms. 

Connie laughed. “Armin knows what he wants.” Then he lifted his hand in an attempt to hold his own face. “But yeah it does feel kind of weird.” 

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Armin muttered before swatting Connie’s hand away and holding his face, getting near enough to almost kiss him without actually doing it so that Connie could only stare at him with wide eyes. “Feels nice, doesn’t it?” Armin asked with a smug grin. 

“Noted,” Connie squeaked. 

Armin laughed and turned to continue his conversation with Historia, following her, Mikasa, and Annie to the kitchen to help Ymir set up drinks. Sasha clapped a hand on Eren’s back. “You taking notes, Yeager?” 

Embarrassment rose to his cheeks, but Eren scoffed. “Who do you think Armin practiced stage-kissing with?” 

He left the room, leaving Sasha, Connie, Marco, and Niccolo to short-circuit with his response. Ymir told him to hide anything breakable then snapped the others out of their stupor by making them push furniture where it would be out of the way and setting up music. 

With all of them helping, setting the house up for a party was easy and fast. Eren took over the music, at least until people started arriving, and before the first guests had arrived, all of them were two shots in. 

The house filled up fast. People showed up with their friends and friend’s friends, eventually spilling from the living room to the small yard in the back. Music boomed through the house, and Solo cups were everywhere. 

“I have no idea how Ymir manages letting so many strangers make a mess in her house,” Mikasa said, tugging her scarf. “I think I saw a couple getting to third base in the living room.” 

“Of course,” Eren said with a laugh. He took a drink from his own cup, some concoction of sweet juice and rum or vodka or something. Whatever it was, it tasted sweet enough to cover up the bitterness of alcohol, so Eren enjoyed it. 

He felt a tug on his arm and turned to see Marco, his face flushed. “Have you heard from Jean? He was supposed to come tonight.” 

“Uh, no, but I can call,” Eren said over the music. “Gimme a second.” 

Eren went through the front door where it wouldn’t be crowded, the cold engulfing him entirely as he sat on the porch, swishing his drink as he dialed Jean. A wave of dizziness went over him as he looked back up, but he blinked to make it go away. 

“Hey. You need a ride back already?” Jean asked as he answered. 

“Huh? No. Everyone’s looking for you. You never came to the festival. Are you not coming to the party? Marco was asking about you.” 

“Oh. Uh, no, I have a feeling I’ll do something really stupid if I do.” 

Eren grunted and took another gulp of his drink, letting it warm him from the inside. “You shouldn’t be avoiding him. That won’t help any.” 

“Just let it go-” 

“You’re being a coward,” Eren muttered. “Marco’s all torn up-” 

“That’s a load of shit from you, Yeager,” Jean snapped. “You’ve been pining after your best friend since I met you, so you really shouldn’t be giving me advice, dumbass.” 

Eren felt rage prickle against the back of his neck, bringing on another wave of dizziness. “Fuck you,” he snapped before hanging up. He tossed back the rest of his drink and stood up, grimacing when the world spun. He wasn’t a lightweight, so he wasn’t sure why so little liquor was already getting him tipsy. He made his way back inside, focusing on walking straight to find Marco again. When he found him, he leaned into his ear and said, “Your friend’s an asshole and he’s in a mood, so don’t expect him tonight.” Marco’s expression fell and Eren shook his head. “Nuh-uh. Don’t get sad about that stupid asshole. If I were you, I’d go make out with a stranger and have a great fucking night.” 

Marco frowned, eyeing Eren carefully. “You alright, Eren?” 

“I feel fantastic.” He gave him a thumbs up and went back to the kitchen, trying to replicate whatever Ymir had done with his drink. It was too bitter when he tasted it, but he didn’t care. Jean’s words danced in his head mockingly, and he wanted to forget them.

His phone buzzed with another email to his school account. Another email from Dr. Smith. Embarrassment and frustration bubbled through him, and he shoved his phone in his pocket before he could think too hard about it. He scanned the area, pinpointing some of his friends. Ymir, Historia, Sasha, and Connie were dancing. Niccolo was near Sasha, not dancing but enjoying the sight of her anyway. Mikasa and Annie were on the couch talking with their heads leaned toward each other. Marco was looking at his phone, talking to someone by the backyard door. 

Then he saw Armin. His eyes were glazed over, bright and wide, his cheeks flushed. He was laughing, but Eren wasn’t sure at what. He just knew he was talking to a group of people and someone had reached out to unstick his hair from his forehead and when Eren followed the hand to the arm to the face of the person, it was some guy he didn’t even know. But Armin hadn’t pushed away his touch and only kept talking, gesturing with his hand as his other hand kept his drink close to his chest, leaving it to slosh slightly onto Eren’s shirt. 

“You look like you need a stronger drink,” a voice said, pulling his attention. Eren turned to the person standing beside him. “Rough week?” he asked. 

“Uh, kinda,” Eren mumbled. He looked the guy over. He had an angular face that kind of reminded Eren of a fox, all sharp edges and high cheekbones. His auburn hair was stylishly messy, like some sort of boy band member. 

One eyebrow arched as the guy smiled. “You stare a lot.” 

“Fuck, sorry-”

“It’s cool. It’s kinda nice.” Another sly smile and a step closer. 

Eren looked him up and down, realizing that he was being hit on. “Oh.” 

“Oh?” 

“Yeah. Oh. I’m not- not really used to this,” Eren said dumbly. 

“This?” Eren bit his tongue before responding. He was going to explain that he wasn’t used to being flirted with so forwardly, but that would make him look like an idiot if he was wrong and grossly misinterpreting the situation, and he already felt dumb enough. The guy leaned in closer, to speak against Eren’s ear, though still too softly. “You seem overwhelmed. Let’s go somewhere quieter?” 

Yes, this was definitely flirting, Eren was sure of it. He followed, drinking from his bad attempt at a mixed drink, letting it seep through him. He looked back in time to see Armin flashing a dazzling smile at the guy who’d touched his face, hiding his laughter into his cup. 

He turned back to the guy with foxish features and followed him to the kitchen. He flashed a smile as he gestured to the pantry. Confused, Eren stepped inside. There was just enough space for both of them among the shelves of cereal and cans and snacks. As the guy shut the door, the music muffled along with all the chatter. 

“Better?” 

“Yeah,” Eren breathed. He reached up for the chain to turn the light on, wincing as he turned it on. The guy squinted too and laughed before taking a drink from the beer can he had. Eren had enough alcohol in his system to speak a little more impulsively. “Just to be clear- are you… hitting on me?” 

The guy’s grin grew as he looked up at Eren. “Well, I don’t normally shove myself into pantries with hot guys.” 

Eren huffed out a laugh and drank more from his cup before he shrugged and chugged the rest. “Holy shit,” he said, grimacing at the taste and the burn it left as the drink settled in his stomach. “Yeah, this is what I’m not used to.” 

The guy narrowed his eyes, disbelief clear on his features. “You’re not used to people flirting with you?” 

“They’re uh…. People stare. Sometimes. But no, usually not this forward.” 

The guy bit his lip and nodded. “Right. Well, if you don’t mind my forwardness….” He tilted his head up and leaned in until his lips pressed against Eren’s. His hand slipped to the nape of his neck, fingers threading through Eren’s hair before clenching and pulling him in. Eren dropped his empty cup and wrapped his arms around the guy’s torso, pressing in closer. 

The smell of gingerbread wafted from his jacket, and Eren kissed him harder. He slid his hands up to his neck, then cupped his face, holding this stranger in his hands as he shoved his tongue into his mouth, tasting the barley on his lips. 

The stranger pressed him back, making the shelves dig into Eren’s spine, but it didn’t bother him much when the guy’s hands slipped under his shirt, leaving cold fingertips to graze his stomach. As the guy pulled back from the kiss, Eren opened his eyes only to close them again when everything tilted. 

“You said you had a rough week?” the guy whispered breathlessly. “I can help you forget.” 

“Yeah, okay,” Eren gasped, tossing out his anger and frustration with his stupidity in class, tossing away the words Jean said to him on the phone, and trying to ignore images of Armin with some stranger. 

Then more Armin images came. Armin laughing, Armin smiling as Eren played guitar, Armin under the moonlight on the Ferris Wheel, Armin cast in morning sunlight as he woke Eren up, Armin with tear-filled eyes, Armin almost kissing Connie, kissing Historia, kissing Jean. He hadn’t even witness the last two, but he knew they would happen, and he tried to drive the images out with this stranger who so willingly bared his throat for Eren, who leaned into Eren’s palm with soft panting sounds, whose hand was unbuttoning Eren’s jeans right there in the pantry. 

“Whoa,” Eren gasped. 

His hand flinched back. “Sorry- is this cool? I’m good if we just make out, you’re really fucking good at it,” the guy said, looking flushed and just as dazed as Eren felt. 

“It’s cool,” Eren said with a nod as he pulled him back into a kiss. His hand slipped into his pants and Eren growled against his mouth, making the stranger moan back. 

Then the door opened and someone yelped and slammed it shut, making them both pull back from each other, knocking over things on the shelves. The door opened again as Eren turned away to zip his pants up. 

“I’m so sorry, I did not mean to interrupt, but I just really want some chips,” Sasha said, red-faced with Niccolo and Connie behind her. 

“Why are you yell- what the hell are you doing in my pantry?” Ymir asked as she came to check on the fuss. 

“Getting it on apparently,” Connie supplied helpfully. Sasha winced, mumbling another sorry as she reached past them for the chips she was looking for. 

Ymir narrowed her eyes. “This is my fucking food, you idiots. Get the hell out of there,” she snapped. “Jesus, Eren, really?” 

“Fuck off,” he mumbled, dragging the guy behind him. 

“Friends of yours?” the guy asked over the music as they went through the front door. 

Eren grunted and pushed him against the railing and pulled him closer by the nape of his neck. “You said you’d help me forget the week,” he said, softer now that they were outside. 

The guy laughed and looked to both sides. “On a front porch where anyone could see us?”

Eren didn’t answer, he just kissed him again, guiding the stranger to his neck as he happily took to kissing and sucking while Eren kept his eyes shut to keep the world from spinning. His hand slid down again, over Eren’s jeans this time but it still made his breaths stutter as he tugged on the guy’s lower lip. 

He let the guy switch their positions, leaving Eren to lean against the porch railing as the stranger mapped out his torso and kissed his neck. He opened his eyes, once again getting a mental image of Armin and a tilted view of the world that made him shut his eyes again. 

Wait. 

He opened his eyes and saw Armin- real, not imaginary- standing by the door. His eyes were wide, his cheeks flushed, an uncertain furrow in his eyebrows. Suddenly, having a stranger latched onto his neck felt wrong. 

“W-wait, stop,” he stammered, feeling his face burn. 

“What is it?” The guy looked over his shoulder to see what had grabbed Eren’s attention.

Armin’s gaze shifted from Eren to the other guy. “I-I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s just…. Um, Eren, can I talk to you?” 

The stranger sighed and looked up at Eren. “Guess I’ll see you around, Eren.” He leaned up and pressed another kiss to his lips. “Sorry I couldn’t help you forget your bad week.” The guy turned away, nodding at Armin as he went back inside. 

“Oh, shit, I’m so drunk,” Eren muttered as his heart started pounding. 

Armin walked over to him and pulled him to the porch steps to sit down. “Yeah, cold air makes alcohol hit harder. Did you eat anything besides that sandwich in the dining hall?” 

“Uh… funnel cake.” The answer had Armin’s brows furrowing together. “What did you wanna talk to me about?” 

“Ymir told me about the pantry thing,” he said. “She said I should check on you. And that you told her to fuck off, so I figured you were pretty drunk.” Armin scooted closer, and Eren shut his eyes, telling himself not to say anything stupid. “What’d that guy mean when he said you had a bad week?” 

Eren didn’t answer, choosing instead to breathe through the dizziness as he ran his hand through his hair. 

“Eren? Please talk to me.” 

The worry in Armin’s voice pierced through Eren’s heart and he shook his head. “Nothing. Nothing out of the usual anyway,” he mumbled, hoping he wasn’t slurring his words. The loopiness had multiplied suddenly, and Eren could feel it in the ways his breaths came faster, in the desire to lay down right there on the porch and go to sleep. “My classes make me feel like an idiot half the time, Jean’s a fucking dick-” He kicked at a little gnome on the step, making it topple over. Armin gripped his arm, reprimanding him silently. “It just… it’s small things. But it piles up.” 

He clenched his teeth to be sure he didn’t say more. To be sure he didn’t tell Armin how he occupied all of his thoughts, how he burrowed himself between the lines of all the love songs he performed, how it killed him to listen to the teasing for Armin to brush it off, how often he told himself he wasn’t good enough for talented, smart, amazing Armin, how he was tired of not being good enough, and he was always angry, but he’d been doing so well until Jean pissed him off, and a stranger flirting with him made it go away a little bit, but even then he wanted it to be Armin, and he felt dirty because Armin had seen him, and-

“Eren, hey. Hey, it’s okay,” Armin said, using his striped sleeve to wipe his face. “You reached a snapping point, and that’s okay. C’mon, let’s get back to the apartments. You can stay with me.” Armin stood up and held his hand out for Eren to take. 

Something twisted in his chest, but he slid his hand into Armin’s and stood up. They leaned against each other as they walked down the street to get back on campus. 

Eren wasn’t this guy anymore. He wasn’t the angry one looking for reckless things to do when he was angry. He wasn’t an asshole to his friends. He didn’t make out with strangers in his friend’s pantry or get handjobs from strangers to forget an unrequited crush. He wasn’t that person, and he didn’t want Armin to think he was. Armin squeezed his hand, and more tears fell because Eren loved him so much, not just in an unrequited way, but as his friend. 

Armin had always been so steadfast, so encouraging, so loyal. He was good. Even when Eren was angry and picking fights in school, when he threw fits because he didn’t think he needed SATs since he wouldn’t be going to college anyway, when he tried to push him and Mikasa away because his brain told him he was so much lesser than them, Armin stayed. Armin stayed and offered his hand as an anchor. 

“No one ever believes me when I tell them you’re an emotional drunk,” Armin said as they walked down the sidewalk to his apartment.

“‘M not,” Eren mumbled, sniffing. 

Armin laughed softly and unlocked his door. “I don’t think my roommate’s here yet. Come on.” He pulled Eren into his room and lit the gingerbread scented candle on his desk before pulling out sweatpants and a sweater for Eren to change into. “I’m gonna go brush my teeth and bring you some water.” 

Eren changed, keeping his eyes shut so it would be easier to maintain his balance before he burrowed into Armin’s bed. Armin came back a little bit after, already changed into a t-shirt and plaid pajama bottoms. He held out a water bottle, and Eren grabbed his wrist to make him stay. 

With a gentle nudge to get Eren to scoot over, Armin hopped onto his bed. Eren sat up to drink some of the water, and when he laid down again, he put his head in Armin’s lap. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice taking on a childish tone that embarrassed him. 

“For what?” Armin whispered back, his thumb rubbing a comforting circle into Eren’s shoulder. 

“For the way you found me. I’m not that guy. Making out with strangers and ditching them at parties.” 

“We’re in college, Eren. I think that’s part of the experience.” Armin started combing through Eren’s hair with his fingers, gently undoing the knots the wind had tangled it into. “I doubt anyone looks for their soulmate at a college party, and I’m pretty sure that guy had a great time. If he is heartbroken, I’m sure he’s nursing it with one of the many liquor bottles Ymir provided.” With gentle fingers, Armin pulled Eren’s hair away from his face. 

“I’m still sorry. You shouldn’t have to put up with me like this. Shouldn’t have to fix things when I’m stupid.” 

“I’m not putting up with you,” Armin muttered. “You’re my best friend. I’m just sorry I didn’t notice you were having a hard time. And I’m not fixing anything. You still have to apologize to Ymir once your hangover passes.” He paused and turned Eren’s face toward him. “And you’re not stupid. Stop talking about my best friend like that. I’ve learned to sword fight, I can kick your ass.” 

Eren smiled and searched for Armin’s hand, bringing it to his face. “You’re right. It’s nice to be held.” 

“Go to sleep,” Armin whispered. 

“You’ll stay, right?” 

“I thought you said I’m a menace.” 

Eren shrugged. “Please. Like when we were kids.” And he wasn’t feeling up strangers to feel better about himself. 

“Okay.” Armin got up to blow out the candle then slipped under the covers with Eren. 

When they were little, they would fall asleep facing each other, hands clasped between them as if they might be separated if they didn’t hold onto each other. That’s how they fell asleep that night, and for Eren, it was more than enough. 

He woke up when a hand fell heavily against his face in the dead of night. 

“Dammit, Armin.” 

--

The hangover wasn’t horrible. He’d experienced way worse. It still wasn’t exactly pleasant. 

Especially when he woke up to the email from Erwin that he’d ignored. 

Eren-

I attached the PowerPoint I used in class to explain the terminology you need for your essay as well as a rubric for the outline. If you send me anything past noon on Saturday, expect an answer after 8pm on Sunday. 

Dr. Erwin Smith
Chair of Humanities

Eren sighed and rinsed out the toothpaste in his mouth before typing out a thank you. It was before noon, so his professor should see it and at least know that Eren wasn’t fully ignoring him. He lifted his gaze to the bathroom mirror, grimacing when he saw the splotches of hickeys along his neck. 

“I match with Mika now,” Eren said as he left Armin’s bathroom to join him on the floor. His roommate had left for the weekend, so they had free reign of the living room to do their work. 

“You should get a matching scarf,” Armin said with a grin. “Okay, I figured out a way to explain the ethical theories Dr. Smith gave us.” Eren took a deep breath and nodded, giving Armin the go ahead to speak. “Okay, so we have deontological and teleological ethics-” 

“Armin.” Eren grimaced as his cheeks turned red in embarrassment. “If possible, make that even simpler.” 

“Okay. Alright, gimme a sec to make sure I can phrase it right.” Armin pulled the end of his pen between his teeth, furrowing his eyebrows as he looked at his own extensive notes. Eren wanted to smooth the furrow with a kiss and trail a series of kisses down the bridge of his nose to his mouth. “Okay!” Armin said, snapping Eren out of it. “So there’s consequentialism, which is kind of what it sounds like- consequence-based. Utilitarianism is a form of that, but all that means is the morality of something depends on the outcome. Specifically, the action is good if it results in the most amount of good for the most amount of people.” 

Eren grimaced. “Isn’t that the stupid train theory. For the greater good or whatever? So even if you do a bad thing, if it causes good for more people, it would be okay?” 

“Exactly!” Armin said with a glint in his eyes. “The action would be morally acceptable. With Kantian ethics, it’s more black and white. It’s named after a philosopher, but basically it means you have to be virtuous, regardless of what comes of it. So never lie, never steal, never do bad even for a good reason.” 

“Wait, but what if a lie protects someone? Like, if it keeps them safe?” 

Armin shrugged. “According to Kant, the only morally right thing to do is tell the truth, even if it hurts.” 

“That’s stupid.” 

Armin laughed and chewed on the end of his pen. “Okay, last one. Virtue ethics. This one is actually about the person doing the thing. As long as they are actively practicing virtues to be good, then they’re good. It’s not so much about the consequences or a sense of responsibility, it’s just the person striving to be good that makes them a moral person.” 

“That’s got to be the most confusing.” 

“Yeah….” Armin mused to himself for a moment. “I guess a less verbose way of saying it would be- someone is morally good if they choose to do good things for the right reasons.” 

“Oh. Oh! So doing good for a bad reason means you’re not actually good. Which makes that good action… immoral?” 

“Not the action, but the person,” Armin corrected. “And yes, that’s the idea!” 

Eren nodded and tried to repeat it to himself enough times for it to sound like a rhythmic mantra he could remember. Utilitarian is based on consequences and greater good, Kantian is based on black and white duty, and virtue is based on the person. Consequences, duty, person. Consequences, duty, person. 

“So,” Armin said, pulling Eren out of his thoughts. “Your essay is you explaining which ethical philosophy makes the most sense and why. And it’s just an outline so you just have to make bullet points, don’t worry about all the details.” 

Eren let out a long breath and nodded. “You’ll still look over it, right? So I can be sure I don’t sound like a total idiot?” 

“What did I tell you?” Armin asked flatly, the effect of his angry look falling flat only because he tended to pout when he glared. 

With a grimace, Eren reworded his question. “You’ll look over it so I can be sure I make college-level sense?” 

A smile spread on Armin’s face. “Nice save. And yes, I will.” 

Eren turned to his computer, repeating the mantra in his head to make sure he didn’t forget and have to make Armin explain it all over again. 

After a few moments, Armin let out a low, breathy laugh, pulling Eren’s attention away from his screen. “You make little jingles when you wanna remember something, don’t you?” he asked. When Eren stared at him, dumbfounded, Armin began to hum to the rhythm Eren had been repeating the words in his head. “That’s what you’re doing, right? Making it into a rhythm to remember it?” 

“Uh, yeah, I guess,” Eren said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I didn’t realize I made them songs. They just start having a rhythm when I repeat it enough.”

Armin nodded in understanding then gestured to Eren’s laptop. “Sorry, I won’t interrupt again.” 

He worked on his outline for the next hour, probably much longer than he needed to work on it, but he kept second guessing what he wrote. He gave his laptop to Armin before he could pull his hair out over it. When Armin started typing something, Eren fought back a wince. 

“Relax, I’m just adding your name so you submit this,” Armin said. “You should really give yourself more credit. This is a perfect outline, and you did it with a hangover.” 

“Ha,” Eren answered flatly. But he couldn’t deny the relief he felt. He submitted it then sprawled himself across the floor to bask in the joy of being done with pressing, time-sensitive assignments. 

It was a short-lived joy though, since there was a knock on Armin’s apartment door shortly after. When Armin opened it, half of their friends poured in, splaying themselves across the living room. 

Mikasa leaned over Eren so she looked upside down to him. “Heard you had sex with a random dude in the pantry.” 

“I did not!” Eren said, sitting up too fast and making himself briefly nauseated. “Sasha, what the hell are you telling people?” 

“Wasn’t me,” she said through a mouthful of a muffin. “Connie’s the one who doesn’t know how to tell stories right.” 

“All I saw was Eren zipping up his pants, the rest of you can make what you will of that.” 

Armin tossed Eren a pillow which Eren immediately thwacked Connie with. He got up to find a light snack to settle his stomach, unsurprised when Ymir followed him. She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. “Did you or did you not pull your dick out in my pantry?” she asked flatly. 

“I did not,” Eren said. “I swear. I just kissed the guy. Sasha found us before it got any further, thankfully.” 

“Yeah, thankfully. Otherwise you’d owe me a total restock of my pantry.”

Eren rolled his eyes, then looked in the living room where Armin was talking to Mikasa. He sighed and swallowed his pride. “I’m sorry, by the way,” he said quietly. “For being reckless enough to do that in your pantry and for the way I spoke to you afterwards. I was drunk and mad and-” He stopped himself from using the word “dumb.” “-wasn’t my best self.” 

Ymir raised an eyebrow, uncrossing her arms. “Yeah, I get it. Just do me a favor and don’t get frisky with someone near the places I keep my food?” 

“You got it,” Eren said, taking a bite of the granola bar he found and returning to the living room. 

In the living room, Armin was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes, and Mikasa looked ready to throw him. Before Eren could ask what was going on, Armin wheezed out, “If your mom saw you both right now, she would go nuts. I can see it so clearly, it’s-” He broke off into laughter while Mikasa burrowed into her scarf. 

“The infamously hot Yeager-Ackerman siblings. Is it really surprising that they’re sporting matching hickeys from their mystery strangers?” Connie said, earning himself double the pillow attack from both Eren and Mikasa, happily supplied with their weapons by Armin. 

--

It took longer to make up with Jean. Mostly because they were both proud and stubborn and they rarely saw each other with how often they stayed away from their shared apartment because of it. But by Thursday, Eren found a peace offering in the form of a new pack of his favorite cookies sitting on the dining table. That day Eren finished his classes and went back to his apartment with an iced chai for himself and Jean’s favorite, ridiculously complicated drink- which he only managed to order thanks to Marco. Instead of a heart to heart long winded apology, Jean just offered a tense smile which eased up when Eren held out the drink. 

They were back to normal in time for Eren to help with Jean’s film project that weekend. 

It turned out to be a much harder time than Eren had anticipated. 

Typically, seeing Armin kiss and pretend to be in love with people in plays had never bothered him. Hell, Armin had a whole scene having to pantomime masturbation when he was in Spring Awakening, and Eren hadn’t batted an eye. 

But watching him set up this elaborate pretend life as a couple with Jean was making something twist in his chest. 

“Where was our first date?” Armin asked. 

“Uh…. It was a moonlit picnic with candles. Electric ones, so we don’t cause a forest fire,” Jean answered. “You’re in love with my dashing good looks and I’m in love with your magnificent brain.”

Eren narrowed his eyes and reminded himself that it was all just acting.

“How did you confess to me?” 

“Why do you assume I confessed to you? Maybe you confessed to me,” Jean pointed out. 

“I like the way you think.” Armin thought to himself for a moment, biting his lip for a moment. “Okay, I confessed to you. Oh! We could make that a scene! We’ll just improv whatever and you can take the sound out when you edit.” 

Jean nodded and set the camera up on a tripod. “So where should we start?” 

“With any scenes that are indoors. You’ve got two living room scenes, a bathroom scene, and a bedroom scene, so let’s do those,” Eren said. He stood up and looked over the surprisingly well done storyboard with Jean’s scratchy writing on the sides to explain the camera movement. 

Armin looked over his shoulder and nodded in agreement. “One is us just talking so that one might be easier to start with. Then the arguing scene. Remember, you’re the director, so you tell me how you want me to act.” They both looked at Jean expectantly, leaving him to stare back in confusion. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Is Armin gonna yell and scream in the argument, do you want him to panic and retreat, do you want him to cry mid argument?” Eren asked.

Jean frowned and looked between them. “You know a lot about this whole thing-” 

“I sat in on rehearsals in high school. Plus Armin always brings up acting choices in movies we watch,” Eren said. “But this is your project, so you need to lead it.” 

Jean frowned and pushed his hair back, pacing a few moments before returning to stand in front of them. “I think it’ll help if we film it in different ways then I can see what works better when I put it together.” 

“Sounds good to me,” Armin said with a smile. He pulled Jean to the couch and Eren set up the camera per the instructions on the storyboard sheet. While Armin tried to get Jean to relax and get back into his character, Eren wondered what he’d gotten himself into by agreeing to do this. 

It was a wonder to watch Armin slip into a character, even a nameless one like this one. He carried himself differently with the roles he played. As soon as Eren counted down, Armin became a new person. One who was evidently head over heels for Jean. He did it so well that it left Jean flustered which just so happened to work for this because Armin ended up taking advantage of it by ad libbing a love confession. 

Instead of the relief or the requited affections Jean’s character was supposed to have, he looked shocked and embarrassed, and the silence stretched so long that Eren had to stop recording. 

Immediately after he called out, “Cut,” Armin dropped his character. 

The analytical gaze that was so inherently Armin returned. “You’re tense.” 

“You’re convincing!” Jean exclaimed. “I’ve never acted, much less with you.” He turned to look at Armin. “Is he always like this?” 

Eren nodded, full of pride. “He’s got the range. Anyway, you’re way too stiff for this to be believable.” He turned his attention to Armin. “I think if we start with the more awkward scenes and work backward, he’d get more comfortable.” 

“Shouldn’t it be the other way around?” Jean pointed out. 

“Nope. If you leave the most awkward scenes last, you’ll psych yourself out and get more nervous,” Armin said. “So what’s the most awkward scene?” 

Eren guessed it, braced himself for it even, before Jean sighed and answered, “The kissing scene.” He scratched his head and grimaced. “It doesn’t have to be a really explicit thing, but….” 

“But this is a queer couple in love and willing to be vulnerable,” Armin finished for him. He laughed and stood back up. “Jean, it’s fine. Come on, if we can get the kissing scene done, then the rest will be a breeze.” 

The look on Jean’s face almost made up for the way Eren’s stomach was churning. He set the tripod down in Jean’s room, making sure it could swivel smoothly from the door to the rest of the room. 

As Jean joined them in the room, Armin said, “You know, Kate Winslet flashed Leonardo diCaprio when she met him on the set of Titanic. Do I need to flash you, Jean?” 

“No!” Jean said, turning even redder. “Okay, how do you do it? How do you just kiss friends and strangers for performances?” 

“I just do,” Armin said. “It’s not real, and everyone in the scene knows that. But the point is to make it seem real to people watching. When we film this it’s not you and me, it’s the couple you created.” 

“If you couldn’t play the part, why’d you come up with this concept?” Eren asked, mindlessly swiveling the camera back and forth. 

Jean took a deep breath and thought about it. “My professor said that film was easier if there was passion in it. If you film something important, something you care about, it’s more powerful, and it’s fun to make, to put effort into, even if it’s harder. I could’ve used a film- or music video- like this when I was younger. Maybe it wouldn’t have fucking taken me so long to realize I like Marco if I’d come to terms with myself before college.” He clenched his jaw and shrugged. “I wanna be part of the creation of queer content. Hopeful content. That shows it as a normal type of love instead of some horrible, terrifying experience full of pain and hiding and fighting.” 

Eren stopped swiveling the camera. He looked at Armin, who was smiling sympathetically. 

“Okay. Then we’re gonna help you make that film,” Armin said. “Even if it takes fifty takes to get you to relax.” 

“Yeah, this camera only has one spare battery, both of which take forever to charge, so it’d be great if it didn’t take that many takes,” Eren said. Armin only gave him an exasperated look. 

Reinvigorated, Jean nodded and let Armin take his hand as they stood by the doorway. Eren pointed the camera toward them. “Action.” 

Armin slipped back into his role, tenderly taking Jean’s face in his hands before pulling him down. But Jean was too hesitant, too stiff. 

Eren stopped recording. “You’re way too stiff for me to believe you want to kiss Armin.” 

“It’s not as easy as you think!” Jean snapped, turning red all over again.

“You’re gonna have to kiss Armin a bunch of times if you don’t figure out a way to do it right.” 

“Oh, so that’s what’s actually bothering you.” 

Eren let his expression twist, but Armin intervened before he could say anything back.

“Okay. Easy, we’re just starting here,” he said. “Eren, can you pull up the song Jean wants over the footage? Jean, let’s sit down.” 

While Eren pulled up the song and played it, Armin sat with Jean on the bed and started going on about all the best on-screen kisses. He pointed out the longing in the song, the longing Jean wanted to portray in the film himself. As the song started again, Armin stood in front of him. 

“We’re gonna practice okay. Just so you know what to expect. Then we can try filming the scene. Again, it’s not you and me. I know this kiss doesn’t mean anything, it’s just to get used to it so we can make it seem like it does on camera. Sound good?” Armin asked. Jean nodded, and Eren turned up the volume on his phone while forcing his expression to stay neutral. 

He distracted himself at first, skimming the song lyrics and swiping away notifications. Then he looked up again, figuring he may as well practice having to see them to properly film them. He wasn’t sure what was more awkward- seeing Armin kissing Jean or quite literally everything about Jean at that moment. His hands were rigid against Armin’s elbows, his head mouth resistant, and his expression almost pained. 

“Fucking hell,” Eren muttered. The two of them split apart, and Eren spoke before Jean could snap at him again. “Pretend it’s him,” he blurted. When Armin and Jean both looked at him in confusion, Eren raised an eyebrow. “Pretend it’s Marco. I don’t mean it as a tease, I just think it’ll help. If you imagine the person you like, you’ll be way more into it and not so stuck in your head.” Eren waved a hand, signalling for them to try again, ignoring the questioning tilt of Jean’s head. 

He leaned against the wall and watched as Armin leaned his head in again. But this time, he didn’t kiss Jean first. He hesitated. Meanwhile Jean’s eyes fell shut and one of his hands came up, the knuckles brushing against Armin’s cheek. The song looped a third time, and Armin closed his eyes too, his brows furrowing together as he leaned into the touch. 

The start of the kiss was much more natural. Slow and hesitant still, but not stiff or robotic. Eren kept looking away, but forced himself to get through it. It was just another performance. 

The hesitance disappeared, leaving them in a more natural kiss before it suddenly culminated to something more desperate. Jean stood up, his hands gripping Armin’s sides as they thudded against the closet door. Armin gasped at the same time Eren surged forward and Jean jumped back, suddenly very flushed. 

“Shit, I’m sorry. I’m sorry-” 

“No, no, no, you’re good,” Armin said with a breathless laugh. “I guess Eren’s tip works. Okay, now we film.” Armin moved to the doorway, giving Eren a surprised look and a thumbs up.

Meanwhile, Jean was still trying to get rid of the flush in his face. “I really gotta talk to Marco.” 

Eren kept his mouth shut and repositioned the camera. 

It seemed that his tip had in fact worked. Their kissing became more natural, though they always had to stop filming the second they reached the bed because Jean would get flustered or maneuver Armin too aggressively or something. 

Eren couldn’t take much more of the intimate, breathless kisses or the heavy breaths he had to pretend not to hear over the music as he handled the camera. “Okay, why not just pick the scene up from the bed,” he suggested. “It can be a closer shot. Adds to the intimacy.” 

He repositioned the camera as Jean and Armin settled onto the bed in the same toppled over position they always had to stop at. 

“If you want, I can handle the progression of this part,” Armin offered, his voice light and breezy, as if their friend wasn’t straddling him on a bed. Eren wanted to wash his eyes out with bleach. 

“Meaning?” Jean asked. 

“I’ll handle the pacing. You just play along. You want vulnerability and love in this scene, right?” Jean nodded. “Got it. Your call, Eren.” 

Eren focused the camera on Armin’s profile and counted down before calling, “Action.” 

Armin pulled Jean down toward him kissing him tenderly, a slight smile on his lips. He pushed Jean back slightly, and Eren felt that thing in his chest twist with the way Armin looked up at Jean. 

Except it wasn’t Armin, it was a character, and Eren knew better than anybody how easily Armin could separate himself and his roles. But that look was full of adoration and excitement and wonder and the tiniest hint of nervousness. He pulled himself up slowly and removed his shirt. Eren clenched his jaw as Jean’s eyes widened and flickered nervously to him, but he ignored it. 

He kept the camera on that close up, even though the only thing in the frame now was Armin’s chest. Armin’s hand pulled Jean’s to his bare torso, and Eren forced himself to do his job as a cameraperson so this part of the project could be over already. He made the camera follow their hands smoothly, coming back up to their faces in time to catch the next collision of their lips before Armin pulled Jean down with him. 

Before Eren could bring them back into the frame, Armin let out a flustered, “Whoa! Cut! Cut!” 

Jean immediately scrambled away from him. “What? What did I do?”

Armin had turned a bright, saturated red. “Uh.” He cleared his throat. “The spot under my jaw is really sensitive,” he said quietly. “So… try not to kiss that, or things will really get awkward.”

“I’m so sorry-” 

Eren went back to the previously recorded take and kicked Jean’s shin. “Check the footage and see what you still wanna do before we keep going. I’m gonna grab something from the kitchen.” He left the room and pinched the bridge of his nose.

He was half-tempted to tell Mikasa to come over and film instead. 

“Did you take a fucking cinematography class?” Jean asked, rushing out of the room with a fully clothed Armin right behind him. “The way you filmed that last take works perfectly, I just have to cut out the bit where Armin made me panic.” 

“The way you followed the hands was incredible, Eren!” Armin said, his eyes bright with excitement. 

“Oh. Well, I’m glad it worked,” he said. “Armin’s always going off about the significance of hands in film with Mikasa.” 

“What, when?” Armin questioned. 

“Pride and Prejudice. You swoon over the hand flex every damn time. And like, almost any kissing scene in anything.” Eren turned to Jean. “So you’re sure you got what you wanted?” 

“Yeah, it actually ends pretty perfectly when Armin pulled me back down.”

Eren felt relief flood through him. “Okay, then what’s next?” 

The rest of the filming went by so much easier- for Eren. They still had to do multiple takes for Jean to properly match Armin’s intensity, but Eren found he had a lot more patience when he wasn’t watching someone kiss his best friend and long-time crush up close and personal. 

They didn't finish all the shots before Armin had to go to rehearsal, so whatever was left would be done the next day. Eren collapsed onto the couch, scowling at the sound of his stomach growling. 

“Wanna get something to eat? It’s on me,” Jean said, very clearly trying to make up for the first half of the day. 

Not one to turn down free food, Eren got back up. 

They went to a burger diner, and Eren made sure to include all of his favorite add-ons in his. Jean didn’t make a comment, he only narrowed his eyes briefly as Eren rattled on with his order. 

Once the waitress left, Eren sipped his soda, ready to steer the conversation into the latest season of a show, but Jean spoke before him. “I heard about Ymir’s party. Did you… imagine Armin?” 

Eren gasped, causing his soda to hit the back of his throat and make him choke. “Jesus, man, really?” he wheezed as he tried to catch his breath. Jean grimaced, but was still waiting on a response. “I- yeah. I just saw Armin when I closed my eyes, even if I was trying not to in the first place. But what happened to talking to Marco?” 

“You of all people should know it’s not that easy,” he mumbled. “Anyway, you’re like, insanely good with a camera. Is that something you’d do as a hobby?” 

While the topic change annoyed him, Eren went along with it because it at least meant not having to talk about his own painful pining. 

When they got back to the apartment, Jean started putting together the footage he did have, muttering about how weird it was to see himself on camera. Meanwhile, Eren worked on more song lyrics. 

Suddenly, Jean started laughing, and Eren saw him looking at his phone. “Check your Snapchat,” he said, still laughing as he returned to his laptop. 

Eren pulled out his phone to find an incoming Snap from Historia. 

He opened it to see Historia’s face in the bottom corner while a pair of legs in tight leggings was dramatically circled in red. 

I wasn’t cast as Juliet because I’m a good actress. I was cast because, as a lesbian, only I could withstand the power of Armin Arlert’s ASS. 

Then three peach emojis. Eren felt his face turn red as he realized that circled legs belonged to Armin. He closed the app right after, ignoring Jean’s muffled laughter as he returned to the words in his journal. 

--

Midterms made Eren want to gauge his eyes out. He was drowning in everything he needed to do, mostly out of procrastination. The most daunting being his five page ethical analysis paper- single-spaced because Erwin was a casual professor, or whatever. 

He knew what he wanted to say, and the outline at least helped him keep his thoughts in order, but Eren hated academic papers. He worried more about sounding professional and proper and ended up completely forgetting the points he wanted to make. Or he made his points but added so much academic jargon fluff that it became senseless and convoluted. 

When Eren told Armin about his frustration, Armin had simply said, “Write it like you’re talking to me. Just tell me everything you’re thinking, and once it’s on paper we can take it from casual to academic.” 

As he stared at a blinking cursor, Eren felt self-doubt begin to creep up on him. He wanted to sound smart when he explained himself, especially if he was trying to tell Armin. 

But then he thought of all the times Armin went off on his own rambles. Half the time coherency was gone, made up for with enthusiastic hand gestures. Other times, Eren lost track of everything because Armin used terms he hadn’t heard of or spoke about characters he wasn’t familiar with. But by the time Armin finished talking, whether he broke down the inherent romance of longing portrayed with a look by an actor or the way Darcy maintained his appeal over time because he was written in a feminist manner, Eren always felt like he understood a little better. Not perfectly but a bit. And he never minded when Armin made no sense to him. It gave him an excuse to keep him talking even if his questions made Armin repeat himself. Armin never seemed to mind, never lost that spark of joy and excitement in his eyes as he spoke. 

So maybe Armin wouldn’t mind if Eren rambled too. If he explained his thoughts on all the ethical philosophies in his own Eren-way. 

He started typing. He didn’t think about sounding a certain way, he just wrote. It was easy to talk to Armin, easy to express himself. A few hours later, he’d managed six pages. Before he could go back and second-guess himself, he sent it to Armin’s school email. 

Armin’s rehearsals had been picking up. The play would be performed before midterms so the actors could also focus on their exams, which meant more hours. Three weeks didn’t seem like enough time to put together a whole production, but somehow the department managed it, and it mystified Eren every time. 

With that assignment out of the way, Eren grabbed his guitar and journal and headed out to the grassy field in front of the campus’ main building. He leaned against a tree and played songs he already knew, watching as the occasional student walked past. The campus was never all that busy on the weekends. 

He opened his eyes when the sun was blocked by a shadow. Mikasa and Sasha looked down at him before sitting across from him with warm drinks in their hands. 

“You’ll catch a cold,” Mikasa said. 

“I have a jacket this time.” 

She hummed and nodded toward the guitar. “Which song was that?” 

“It’s called Dandelions. Armin suggested it a few days ago for an open mic performance.” 

“Oh I love that one,” Sasha said. “Can I hear how it’s going?” 

Eren nodded and started strumming while Mikasa picked up his journal. Had it been anyone else, he would’ve panicked and snatched it back. As it was, Eren played the song, singing the lyrics softly while Mikasa read the scrambled lyrics he had scattered throughout his journal pages. 

“You know,” Sasha said, her voice going soft and thoughtful, “the song is really bright and bubbly. But listening to you, the way you play it and sing it, it’s almost sad.” She smiled. “Just kind of wistful and full of longing.” Eren wasn’t sure what to say to that, so he plucked a random melody to fill the silence. “You know, Jean and Marco are going on a date tomorrow.” 

Mikasa and Eren’s heads both whipped around to her. “What?” Eren asked.

Sasha laughed and nodded. “Apparently Jean showed Marco his film project and it just started this whole misunderstanding and then really emotional conversation and then Jean told him that he liked him. So they’re going on a date tomorrow.” 

“When did all of this happen? Jean didn’t tell me shit,” Eren said, already pulling out his phone to send him a text. 

“Well, I- it’s supposed to be a secret,” Sasha said, wincing. “They wanted to see how the date went before telling everyone. I just… I brought it up, ‘cause….” She shrugged and her mouth pulled up into an awkward smile. “I think maybe it’d be a good idea for you to do the same. Y’know, tell Armin how you feel.” 

“She’s right,” Mikasa said. “You’ve been feeling this way for years, Eren. You should tell him. Regardless of whether Armin feels the same way, I think it’ll at least be good for him to know.” 

Eren grimaced at the idea. “A terrifying concept.” Mikasa and Sasha shared a look. “Wha- I don’t even know how that conversation is supposed to go! What, am I just supposed to bombard him out of nowhere? ‘Oh yeah, thanks for the help with my essay, Armie, by the way I’ve been in love with you since we were in high school.’” 

Sasha let out a whistle, pulling back from the conversation by taking a sip from the cup in her hands. 

His notebook suddenly hit him square in the chest. “Doesn’t have to be a conversation. I think you’ve got everything you need in that journal,” Mikasa said. 

Lowering his gaze to his own messy handwriting on the page, Eren felt his mouth go dry. 

A song for Armin. A song to tell Armin how he felt. 

“I gotta go,” he muttered. He stood up, clutching his journal to his chest and tightening his grip on the neck of the guitar. 

When he got home, he shut himself in his room and poured over the pages of his journal. He’d written random little verses in different parts, mostly whenever Armin inspired him, whenever he saw the way his friends expressed their love to their partners, whenever the longing in his chest was so potent that he might burst if he didn’t write it. 

He rewrote and threaded them together until it made sense on a page. Then he grabbed his guitar, playing chords in different orders to find the right progression, something similar to that wistful longing Sasha had mentioned. And then he played with the pattern, the strumming patterns. 

He hadn’t realized how long he’d holed himself up until his stomach growled. He settled for a simple cup of noodles, eating it as he continued to pour over the lyrics and the chords, determined to find the way it all fit together. Then he had to find a melody. 

It was almost two in the morning when he figured it out. He played it a few times, cementing the song in his head. 

Then he imagined having to sing it to Armin, panicked, and put everything away. 

The next day, Jean was on the couch eating cereal by the time Eren dragged himself out of bed. 

“Dude, what was with you last night?” he asked. “I’ve never heard you play your guitar for that long or sound so aggravated during. I would’ve knocked, but I had a feeling I’d be interrupting a whole process.” 

Eren clenched and unclenched his hands anxiously. “I wrote a song.” 

“What, like an original?”Jean set his bowl down. “Well, let’s hear it.” 

“It’s… a confession,” Eren mumbled. 

Confusion flashed briefly over Jean’s features before realization set in. “Oh. A song for Armin.” Eren nodded, feeling his cheeks heat up. “So you’re gonna tell him?” 

“I’m not sure yet. I haven’t gotten stage fright in a long time, but the idea of singing that song to Armin makes me clam up.” The embarrassment had his body temperature hiking, so he pulled his hair into a ponytail, refusing to meet Jean’s eyes. “Besides. Romeo and Juliet opens on Wednesday. The last thing Armin needs before opening night and all his performances is me pouring out my feelings.” 

Jean didn’t answer right away, eventually settling on a simple, “Yeah, I guess that’s true.” It was a testament to how frazzled Eren must have looked. 

They sat together, watching a rerun of a sitcom on the television. Jean never brought up his date, and Eren let it stay that way. 

--

Armin had this thing about his friends and family going to watch his show. He always told people not to tell him what day they were going. He said he liked the surprise of seeing who was there to greet him when it was over, but Eren knew it made him nervous to know who was there and what night. He never showed it, of course. 

Eren went to see Romeo and Juliet on opening night. Sasha and Niccolo had gone too, purchasing their tickets right after him. 

He thought he knew the story. It’d been redone and talked about so much that even someone who never read it knew the ending. Forbidden love, misunderstanding, a double suicide. 

Then he sat in the audience, watching all the colorful, wild costumes, listening to them talk with words he typically understood separately, stringing them into confusing phrases that made him feel like he was listening to a made up language. He recognized his friends, their voices, but the words that fell from their mouths made no sense. It gave Eren a headache. 

By the time the cast started their bows, Eren panicked. How was he supposed to greet Armin after this? He had no idea what he just watched, only managing to follow the overdramatic movements. He couldn’t even pay proper attention to comment on literally anything else about the play. 

He gripped Sasha’s arm, making her jump as he interrupted her clapping. 

“Don’t tell Armin I was here.” 

“What?” she asked. 

Eren turned to her. “I will pay for your meal plan at the end of the semester when you usually run out of yours, okay? Just don’t tell Armin I was here.” 

“I mean, okay, but why?” 

Eren shook his head, slouching in his seat as the cast left the stage. He had about five minutes to leave before Armin went to the main room to greet whoever had come to see him. 

He practically ran out of the theatre. He went to the library, hunching his shoulders against the cold. 

Unsurprisingly, he found Marco there too. Surprisingly, with Jean. Marco was at a computer, apparently trying to focus while Jean happily distracted him by tracing his freckles, the most lovestruck look clear on his face. 

“Marco!” Eren slammed his hands on the table they were at making Jean jump back and curse while Marco turned bright red. 

“Yes?” 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Jean hissed. 

“Research,” Eren said. He turned to Marco. “Where can I find Romeo and Juliet?”  

“Uh…” Marco’s wide, brown eyes stared back at him, confused for a moment before he stood up. “Follow me.” Jean joined them as Marco led the way, a pout on his face that Eren decided to ignore. They walked up the stairs and between bookshelves until Marco started skimming the books with a finger. “Here.” He pulled out a tattered book and handed it to Eren. “Why do you need the book?” 

Why did he need the book? As he skimmed the first few pages he found that he had the same stupid problem. The dialogue made no sense. It was in script format with no descriptions with names that Eren had heard in the play but couldn’t keep straight. 

“What the fuck does this even say?” he muttered. Jean snorted, and Eren’s building tension snapped. “Shut the fuck up, Jean, I already feel like a fucking idiot,” he snapped, shoving him against the bookcase. 

“Hey!” Marco got between them, looking at Eren in confusion. “What’s going on?” 

Eren shoved the book back into place and buried his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “I can’t understand what the hell is happening in Romeo and Juliet. Yeah, they fall in love, they die, but what the fuck is going on for like two hours? Fuck if I know.” He started pacing the aisle. “I wanted to understand it, I thought seeing it on a page would help, but it’s still in that fucking weird English and-” He scowled and kicked at the floor with the toe of his shoe. “It made me feel really dumb, and I didn’t even know what I was supposed to say when Armin came to greet us, so I left before he knew I was there.” 

Marco and Jean were quiet for a moment before Jean sighed. “I had to read it in high school. It confused me too, but my teacher had us watch the movie with diCaprio and he suggested this graphic novel version of it to me. It’s still weird language, but it’s shorter and the art helped me follow along better.” He nudged Marco slightly. “You think they have it here?” 

“We can search for it,” Marco said. He turned back around, leading them down the stairs and to the computer they’d left their stuff at. Jean peeled away while Marco searched the library database. “Yep. Down here, actually. Come on.” Marco led him to a section of books that were on display as students walked in. He looked along the line of book spines before grinning a wide, dimpled smile. “Here it is.” He handed Eren a book with a blue cover and the image of a couple almost kissing. 

“No Fear Shakespeare Graphic Novel,” Eren read. He opened it to find a character list with sketches of the character as they were drawn in throughout the book. 

“This is the Sparknotes translation, so the language is already simplified, but the actual website gives you summaries and analyses if you still have any questions,” Marco said. “It saved my ass when I had to read Ulysses last semester.”

“Okay. Okay, yeah,” Eren said. “I could read this before the play closes. Um. Thanks.” 

Marco smiled at him, sincere and genuine. Then Jean appeared beside him and held out a DVD. A movie adaptation. 

“You know you don’t have to worry about understanding everything about Shakespeare’s writing. I really don’t think Armin would mind explaining,” Jean said. 

“Probably not,” Eren admitted. “But I don’t want him to have to explain things to me all the time. Uh, thanks, I’m gonna check these out and head back. Sorry to interrupt. And for….” Eren gestured upstairs. “Okay, bye.” 

He turned around and went to the front desk to check out the book and the movie, then trekked across campus to get to his apartment. 

He turned on his laptop and looked for Sparknotes before opening the book and reading. The prologue alone made so much more sense in one page than the long winded version he’d heard in the play. Curious, Eren read the original on the screen then the translation beside it, and by some magic, the original started to make sense too. 

Eren read through the first scene in the graphic novel, then skimmed the analysis on the website, slowly piecing together the weird thumb biting and the overdramatic heartache. He did the same for the second scene, feeling excited because it was making sense. It was tedious and a little aggravating to go back and forth, but it made sense. 

And then Eren noticed the table of contents. Five acts. Most of them with five or more scenes. He pinched the bridge of his nose, not sure he wanted to repeat the process of reading that many times. He eyed the movie Jean had given him. 

Armin always said movie adaptations were nothing compared to the novels, but if Shakespeare had already written it like a script, then how much could it deviate, really? 

Except the movie somehow made less sense than the damn play. It was a modern setting with ridiculously over the top acting that made Eren cringe. He went back to the graphic novel and the website. At least for the first act. 

He could make a comment about the first act when he saw Armin after his performance tomorrow. Even if he didn’t fully understand the rest. 

Jean came back as Eren neared the end of it. 

“Is it helping?” Jean asked. 

“Yeah. But I don’t get why people like Romeo so much. He’s fickle and a spoiled brat. He was whining about one girl and then just sees Juliet and forgets. And then he makes out with her!” 

Jean laughed. “Don’t hit me or anything, but isn’t that exactly what you did at Ymir’s party?” 

Eren froze and narrowed his eyes at the book. “No! I didn’t claim to fall in love with the guy at the party, and I wasn’t whining about Armin not sleeping with me, I was just drunk. So fuck you.” 

Jean’s laughter filled the apartment. “Fair point. I’m heading to bed. Have fun studying.” 

Eren waved at him as he finished reading and went right back to the website to read the analysis. His eyes and his head were starting to hurt, so when he finished comprehending the first act, he shut everything down then went to his room where he practiced Armin’s song a couple times then got into bed. 

He grabbed his phone and sent Armin a text. 

Hey, how was opening night?

A minute later, the response came in. 

Pretty good! Not our best, but the best performances always happen at rehearsals. Sasha and Nicco came, and so did Grandpa. I’m beat though, so I’m already heading to bed. 

Despite that, Eren managed to text Armin for about two hours, back and forth. He imagined that he was also burrowed under covers, laughing at the dumb jokes they shared as the phone light lit up his face. 

The next day, Eren showed up for the performance with Jean, Marco, and Connie. 

When the play started, Eren felt a wave of euphoria when he managed to understand and follow with ease. He could tell the characters apart better too. 

There was something almost magical about the way Armin transformed into his characters. Where Eren found Romeo annoying and whiny when he read, Armin managed to portray him and recite his lines in a way that made Eren sympathize with him. He sounded miserable and heartbroken as he lamented the unrequited love for Rosaline, and the expression on his face made Eren believe that Armin had experienced that unrequited affection himself. 

Even when Eren watched Romeo fall in love with Juliet at first sight, Eren believed it. It wasn’t some fickle fancy, some desperate rebound. Romeo truly hadn’t known love until seeing Juliet. It was there in his expression. In the way he spoke to her, smiled at her. In the way they shared their first kiss. 

And then Eren was back to how he felt the night before. Lost, confused, frustrated. That time, though, he had hope. He just had to go home and take the time to read through everything properly. 

When the play ended, Eren asked his friends not to tell Armin that he’d gone to the performance. Marco and Connie insisted he was blowing things out of proportion, but Eren knew he could watch this play and actually understand it all. Jean assured him they wouldn’t tell Armin he was there, and Eren left the theatre before the actors could come out to the main area. 

He only managed one scene before the apartment door opened and Jean, Marco, Connie, and Armin came in. Eren exited the Sparknotes screen and shoved his graphic novel into his laptop bag. 

“Hey, how was the play?” Eren asked. Jean rolled his eyes, but Marco played along. While they set up a game, Armin sat in the dining room with Eren. “How are you feeling about tonight’s performance?” 

“Good,” Armin said with a smile. “Our last performance is Sunday, which seems really fast. I always get a little sad when we get near closing night. Historia said Ymir and Mikasa are going tomorrow. Are you coming too?” 

Eren grinned. “I thought you didn’t like knowing who went on what night.” 

“I don’t,” Armin agreed. “I just figured you’d be with Mikasa.” 

Eren thought about how much he had left to read. He had an early class on Friday so he couldn’t stay up late. And he’d hoped to get Erwin’s paper in before he tried to turn it in five minutes before the deadline on Monday- he knew he wouldn’t do anything over the weekend. On top of that, he needed to finish reading the graphic novel and breaking it down with that beautiful, glorious website. 

“I actually can’t go tomorrow, so you’re free of that pressure tomorrow.” Armin laughed, though it sounded a little strained. Eren bit the inside of his cheek. He knew Armin. He knew it bothered him that, to his knowledge, Eren hadn’t gone to see him or even explain why he hadn’t gone yet. “Hey. Have I ever missed any of your performances?” 

The tension seeped out of Armin as he sighed. “No,” he said. “Not even when you had the flu in high school. You somehow got Mikasa to livestream to you.” 

“Exactly,” he said. “I’ve just been anxious about midterms, so I’ve been trying to study. And I’m anxious about Dr. Smith’s paper-” 

“Oh! Right!” Armin scoured through his messenger bag and pulled out his laptop. “I went through your paper and I think you make total sense, so now we just have to make it not so casual and take out any instances of my name.” He laughed as Eren tried to remember using his name while he wrote. The whole thing was a blur to him, so he decided to take Armin’s word for it. 

Armin broke his essay up into sections on his laptop while Eren went through on his own and rewrote it to sound more like a college midterm paper instead of a rant to his best friend. 

Connie left as they worked on the last page, clinging dramatically to the door as he cried out, “Romeo! Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo!” leaving a rosy blush to dust across Armin’s cheeks. 

“Bye, Connie,” he said with a wave. 

“Remember me when you get to Hollywood!” Connie said, flashing a wide grin as he closed the door. 

After Eren finished fixing his paper and submitted it, Armin stood and shouldered his messenger bag. “I should get going too, I’m exhausted. I’ll catch you for lunch tomorrow?” 

“Yep,” Eren said with a smile. He walked Armin out, thanking him again for the help with his paper. As walked back inside, Jean whistled to get his attention. 

“So when are you gonna tell him, Romeo?” he asked. 

“Ugh.” Eren flipped him off and grabbed his things before going to his room. It was too late to keep reading, so he settled for playing a couple simple songs on his guitar before bed. 

The next day, once his classes were out of the way, Eren spent his time in the library finishing up the book and revisiting all the summaries and analyses. Out of pure curiosity, he looked up scenes performed by other theatre companies. 

Maybe he was biased, but he still felt Armin was the best Romeo out of them. He was the only one who didn’t make Eren want to beat the stupid out of the character. 

His phone started buzzing as he packed up, and he pulled it out to see his sister’s caller ID. “Hey, Mika, what’s up?”

“We’re going to dinner, do you wanna come too?” 

“We?” 

“Me, Annie, Ymir, Historia, and Armin. Sasha, Nicco, and Connie might show up later, but they’re watching a game right now.”

“Yeah, I’m at the library, can you pick me up?” There was a rustle as Mikasa spoke away from the phone before letting him know they’d be there in a few minutes. He finished packing up his things and went outside to wait. 

Annie’s sleek blue Altima pulled up, and the door opened as soon as she hit the break. 

“There’s no space, so go sit on your boyfriend’s lap,” Ymir said from the other end of the car. 

“Ymir, stop instigating,” Historia said as she repositioned herself to sit on her lap, allowing Armin to scoot over and free a space for Eren. 

He slid in and shut the door, apparently the only cue Annie needed to speed down the street to the campus exit. “How was today’s performance?” 

“You should’ve come too,” Ymir said. “I went to support my girlfriend, Mikasa supported hers, and you were the only one missing to support your boyfriend.” 

“I also went for Armin and Historia,” Mikasa said from the passenger seat as Historia nudged Ymir. 

Eren sighed and leaned his head back. “I wasn’t aware that was public now,” he muttered. 

“My professors came tonight,” Armin said, pulling the attention away from Ymir’s comment. “Hange, Levi, and Erwin. They really liked it, but it’s weird to know they saw me in those leggings.” 

“They leave nothing to the imagination,” Annie said with a smirk in her voice. Armin groaned and slumped in his seat. Eren had to bite his tongue so he wouldn’t respond. 

The others, aside from Jean and Marco who were apparently on a date, arrived about twenty minutes later, pushing a table together to elongate the table. It was loud, a dinner full of laughter and teasing and stories about rehearsal flops and backstage chaos. 

As character names and recounts of scenes were tossed around, Eren was pretty pleased with himself for being able to follow along. Of course, he couldn’t say that aloud yet. So he just listened. At least until the conversation turned to midterms and Thanksgiving break, giving Eren a chance to add his own input. 

They didn’t stay out as late as they usually did, mainly because the three of them who were in the play had to be up early for rehearsals. Eren returned to his apartment and practiced Armin’s song until his fingers hurt. 

--

Saturday night’s showing was full of older people. Important looking people. They were all in suits or fancy dresses, with graying hair and a certain kind of superior air that made Eren wary. There were a few other younger people- alumni who used to be part of the theatre or knew an underclassman who was, some cast members’ younger siblings. But no one Eren knew. 

He got a seat closer to the stage that day. When the play began, Eren followed along, elated by the fact that the bizarre language made sense. While it was complicated and wordy, Eren understood why it was performed that way- there was a musicality and elegance to it that reminded him of songs. It couldn’t be replicated with simpler language. 

Eren found himself completely engrossed in the performances. Historia was a beautiful Juliet, perfect for the part with her grace and young face. Tybalt, Paris, and Mercutio were played by people Eren recognized on campus but didn’t know that well. Annie was almost unrecognizable as Lady Capulet, and if Eren hadn’t known her and Historia personally, he would’ve believed she and Historia were actually outside of the play. 

But Armin. 

To Eren, Armin was the most impressive. He took the whiny, naive, stupid boy Eren had read about and breathed life into him in a way that made Eren believe the love. It wasn’t some stupid teenage fling they took too seriously until it fucked them over- it was reckless, wild, but genuine love from a young man who would do anything for a happily ever after. The longing, the desperation, the joy, the affection, the misery, all of it was palpable for Eren. Because Armin made it real. Made Romeo better. 

He believed his adoration for Juliet, found his own cheeks growing warm at Romeo’s promise to shed his own name if it gave him the girl he loved. While he hadn’t understood why it was called a tragedy when he read, he understood it when he watched it unfold on the stage. When he saw Romeo mourn Juliet, heard the panicked, grief-stricken words fall from his lips before poisoning himself. It settled with him then. Hollow and aching in a way no one else would’ve made him feel but Armin. 

At the end of the play, once everyone filed out and milled around the waiting area, Eren stood right by the entrance where all the actors came out in their normal clothing. A few actors came out and greeted the people Eren assumed were their parents, but Armin, Annie, and Historia were among the last to leave the dressing room. 

Eren caught the way tension seeped out of Armin’s face the second he recognized him. He broke away from Historia and Annie, colliding against Eren with a hug. 

“You came,” Armin said, his voice heavy with relief. 

“Of course I did. You were incredible, Armie.” Eren tightened his arms around him before letting go to greet Annie and Historia. “Annie, I gotta say I didn’t think you could cry.” Annie flipped him off, completely unfazed. “And Historia, I noticed that you held Armin’s face when you kissed him.”

“Yeah, well, he made such a big deal about it. So what’d you think? Too cheesy?” she asked. 

“No, actually. You guys made Romeo and Juliet feel real and human. I understood why it was a tragedy with the way you guys acted.” 

“Oh, the double suicide didn’t help with that before watching?” Annie asked. 

Eren rolled his eyes. “I mean I knew it was supposed to be sad, but the way it was performed helped me… I don’t know, agree, I guess.” He frowned as he thought harder about the events of the play. “Honestly, I’m kind of angry on their behalf. It’s so stupid that all of that happened because their parents were too proud to get over themselves and then they make up after their kids die. I thought Romeo and Juliet were stupid, but now I think the parents are. No offense, Annie.” 

“None taken….” 

“I thought you hadn’t read Romeo and Juliet?” Armin questioned as he looked up at him with furrow between his eyebrows. 

“Well, I knew the gist,” Eren mumbled. “Uh, but anyway- you guys go finish with the backstage stuff. I’ll wait for you at the dressing room exit, Armin.” The three of them waved goodbye before heading back the way they came, and Eren left the main area to go around the building and wait by the door where all the actors went through. 

He nodded and waved politely at other ensemble actors as they left until Armin walked out, shouldering his messenger back. He smiled when he saw Eren and nudged him with his shoulder before walking in step with him. 

“Thanks for coming,” he said. 

“Nothing to thank me for, Armie.” 

Armin shrugged as they walked. “I thought you wouldn’t come until tomorrow. I know the play isn’t your style-” 

“My style?” 

“Shakespeare. Romance. Over-the-top.” 

Eren laughed and shook his head. “I’ve grown to like romance, you know? I had to if I wanted to survive all those movie nights in high school.” He shrugged and looked over at Armin. “Besides, you make everything you’re in make more sense. I really did enjoy the play.” 

“Apparently we’re doing Rent next. In March.” 

“Roger or Mark?” That one he knew from the many times Armin sang it in the car and watched both the stage and movie versions. 

Armin laughed, letting the sound pierce through the night. “I don’t think I have the voice for Roger.” They stopped at the junction where they went separate ways to their own apartments. “Since tomorrow’s closing night, would you be up for a movie night after the performance? I could use some normalcy after the rush this week has been.” 

“Always. I’ll go to the store and get snacks tomorrow.” He smiled in response to the one on Armin’s face which made his chest tighten in longing that he was pretty sure could rival Romeo’s. He reached out and pulled Armin into a hug again before he could see it on his face. “Goodnight, Armie. I know I always say it, but you really were phenomenal today.” 

Armin hummed as he hugged him back. “Thanks, Eren.” His grip tightened momentarily before he let go. “I’ll see you tomorrow then. I’ll head over once we clean up everything. Closing nights are always longer.” He stepped back, offering a small wave before he turned away and walked down the sidewalk. 

Before Eren could keep walking, he heard a sharp whistle. He turned around and saw Annie further up the sidewalk. He tilted his head and walked back toward her. “Hey. You alright?” 

Her gaze pierced through him, unwavering and sharp. “Call me crazy, but I swear I saw you at the theatre before tonight. When Marco, Jean, and Connie came.” 

“Probably someone who looked like me.” 

“Surprisingly, you’re the only person I know who wears a messy man-bun and a dark sweater to quite literally everything you go to,” she said. “Armin almost didn’t go out to the main area today, because he didn’t think you’d be there. He thought you’d wait until closing night.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m a shitty friend.” 

Annie rolled her eyes and punched his arm. With more force than necessary in Eren’s opinion. “Not what I’m saying. I’m saying you should probably tell him sooner rather than later that you have feelings for him.” 

Eren narrowed his eyes. “Connect that logic for me, ‘cause it’s not clicking.” 

She hit his arm harder, making him flinch back. “Look, I don’t really know Armin as well as you and Mikasa do, but I know that I’ve never seen Armin so worked up about someone missing his play. You should tell him. At least so he knows that’s something that can happen between you two if it’s not already there. Worst case scenario, he doesn’t feel the same way. But he cares about you too much to let that mess up this whole childhood friendship.” Eren grimaced and looked down at the sidewalk, shoving the bad thoughts he wanted to use as arguments to the very back of his brain. Annie sighed and waited until Eren looked at her again before speaking. “I mean, what, do you just plan on going the rest of your life watching him live his life and never tell him how you feel? Just so he knows at least?” She shrugged, her eyes boring into him as he stood silent. “What’s holding you back?”

What was holding Eren back? Everything he was. 

Armin was effortlessly kind, smart, talented, good, bright, gentle, friendly, a vibrant presence. Meanwhile Eren was temperamental and reckless and stupid and too rough with his words and loud and he was the kind of person who took up space in an obnoxious, demanding way. Armin didn’t need the weight of carrying the knowledge of Eren’s feelings when he could and should find someone so much better. Someone suited to him who could understand the big words he used and could challenge the way he thought instead of just nodding along dumbly. 

Why would Eren tell him if it would amount to nothing but a burden? 

“I gotta go. I have midterms to study for,” he muttered. 

“Eren-”

“Annie, just let it go!” he snapped, taking a step back before walking down the sidewalk to his apartment. 

--

He went to the closing night performance. 

He hadn’t realized how attached he’d gotten to Romeo and Juliet’s tragic, forbidden love. But really it wasn’t that at all. 

Eren didn’t go to watch Romeo and Juliet fall in love only to die over the course of two hours. That time he went to see Armin. To watch him in his element. He didn’t need to feel confused or stupid, because he knew what was happening. But he didn’t want to think about modernized translations and analyses as he watched. 

He wanted to see Armin in his element. Wanted to see how he put his all into this passion he had. He wanted to watch, not to understand Romeo and his woes, but to admire Armin and the effort he put into his art. 

Despite the amount of times he watched the performance, he never got bored. Armin was captivating. 

He stood back that time, watching strangers praise Armin and Historia when they left the dressing rooms after the performance. Armin grinned and thanked the strangers, eventually letting his gaze drift when their attention turned to Historia. 

During one of those wandering moments, Armin’s eyes flitted over Eren before he did a double take. A bigger, genuine smile spread on his face, and Eren watched as he excused himself to walk over. 

“What are you doing here? I told you I’d come over once we clear up everything-” 

“I came to watch the play again.” 

Armin’s eyebrows went up and he scoffed. “What? What for? I know you came to watch later than usual, but you didn’t have to watch twice, you know?”

Eren bit the inside of his cheek and let out a resigned sigh. “Actually…. I have to confess something.” Armin’s brows furrowed as he waited, staring at him suspiciously. “I… I came opening night. You can ask Sasha. But I didn’t understand what was going on, so I was embarrassed, and then I left so you wouldn’t know, and then I tried reading it, and I tried coming again, and then I realized I could follow it better just because of what I read. But still not fully, so I read this translation and this website- anyway, the point is I understand it a lot better, so I came to properly enjoy it, and today I just came to watch without being in my head.” 

Wide, iridescent blue eyes flitted over his face. Armin stayed quiet for a really long time, his face slowly turning bright red. Then finally he whispered, “Eren, are you telling me you came to watch the play every night we performed?” 

“Um, not Friday. I spent that day reading the book and going through everything.” 

“The tickets are ten dollars.” Eren nodded, well aware. “And you didn’t tell me… because you were embarrassed that you couldn’t follow 16th century English.”

As he tried to decipher what the tone meant, Eren took a breath and held it. “I had a feeling you’d be upset….” 

“No! That’s not-” Armin looked back to see the stage crew calling the actors back. “I gotta go, but…. We’re gonna talk about this. Wait for me here, okay?” 

Eren nodded and watched him go. He sat down in the waiting area, nodding and smiling awkwardly at people who walked past him in a frenzy as a preliminary clean up began. 

About twenty minutes later, Armin returned and gestured to the door with a nod of his head. Eren stood up and followed him, waiting for Armin to speak. They nearly made it to his apartment before he couldn’t take it anymore. 

“If you’re not mad, then what is it?” he asked. “Because it feels like you’re mad.” 

Armin turned to look at him, brows furrowed, his lower lip between his teeth. The sigh he let out was visible in the night, and the cold had given his nose and the apples of his cheek a rosy tint. “I’m not mad at you,” he said. “I’m just confused. I don’t get why you would be embarrassed. We had to spend the first week of rehearsals breaking down our lines. Shakespeare is hard! And I wanna be mad that you lied to me about not going, but….” Armin’s gaze flitted from the little field of grass between apartment buildings to Eren. “You also came to see me every night just to understand. I could’ve helped you, you know? You could’ve asked me-” 

“You shouldn’t have to break everything down into bite-sized pieces for me,” Eren said. “I wanted to be able to hold a conversation without you feeling like you have to lead me by the hand-” 

“I’ve never felt like that!” Armin snapped, his blue eyes wide as his eyebrows bunched together. “Did I do something to make you think that explaining things ever bothered me? To make you think you had to prove something to me?” 

Eren shook his head and paced away from him. “You said you weren’t mad, but you clearly are-” 

“I’m not mad at you!” Armin marched right up to him, forcing Eren to look at him. “Well, maybe now I am. Because you assume that getting to explain things to you is this burden to me, that I think less of you for it.” He placed his hands on either side of Eren’s face, his fingers cold and shaking, but his grip insistent. Like Armin needed to be sure his words reached him. “I like when you ask questions. I like that you let me explain things to you. You let me talk, and yeah, that’s nice, but the thing is that you listen. You wanna understand the things I ramble about and it makes me feel heard.” Armin let out a nervous laugh, smiling as his grip tightened. “And I get to see the look on your face when things make sense. Because I’m the one you trust with your questions and confusion.” He growled and let go of Eren’s face, crossing his arms. His lower lip jutted out slightly in a pout as he glared at the side of the apartment building. “I’m not mad that you went and figured it out on your own or that you didn’t tell me you came almost every night- I’m mad that the reason you did those things was because you felt embarrassed to just tell me that Shakespearean language is fucking weird. We’ve been best friends since we were kids, Eren. I’m the last person you should feel embarrassed with.” 

For a few moments, Eren could only stare at him. His outburst had left him even more flushed. Armin’s touch had left a tingling feeling throughout Eren’s body. 

He was right. Eren never hesitated to get Armin’s help before. Before realizing he’d fallen for him. Now he always thought too hard about needing help, pushed the questions to the last minute if they were for his own sake. 

The frustration in Armin’s features had a hint of pain in them. Like it hurt him to think that Eren was embarrassed. Knowing Armin, it probably did. 

When Eren failed to do anything other than stare at him, Armin’s gaze returned to him. “Since when do you feel embarrassed with me?” he asked quietly. 

In retrospect, Eren figured his embarrassment and self-consciousness around Armin grew as his feelings for him did too. He sighed and forced his eyes to stop flitting around everywhere before he spoke. “I just wanted to impress you.” His voice was small and unrecognizable. 

Armin’s beautiful blue eyes softened, his eyebrows quirking up in the middle briefly. “You do impress me, Eren. Without even trying.” His expression twisted into frustration and he stepped closer, looking at Eren with the most intense, analytical stare. “Why do you look so scared?” 

His chest felt tight. His body felt like he was in a perpetual freefall. He wanted to hide from Armin’s gaze, but at the same time, he never wanted Armin to stop looking at him. 

“I need to show you something,” he said breathlessly. “It’ll be easier than… trying to talk right now.”

Confusion smoothed over the harsher lines in Armin’s face. He nodded, curious and expectant. “Okay….” 

Eren nodded toward the apartment, forcing himself not to think too hard. His stomach was in knots, his body trembling with what felt like the stage fright he would get when he was a kid. 

Armin followed him to his room, and Eren grabbed his guitar. “I’m nervous, so I’ll probably make a hundred mistakes. But-” He gestured for Armin to sit down. “Just… don’t say anything until the song is over, okay?” 

With confusion bunching his eyebrows together  and his lip between his teeth, Armin settled onto the bed and nodded. Eren’s fingers trembled as he tuned the guitar and sat in his desk chair. He took a shaky breath, forcing himself to look at Armin. He couldn’t close his eyes this time. 

He began to strum, swallowing the anxiety in his throat. Then he began to sing with an unsteady, shaky voice that made his cheeks turn red immediately, but he forced himself to push through it. 

“You asked me what my favorite color was one day. And I have a confession to make. I told you it was blue, but that’s not true. I only said blue ‘cause I was looking at you.” Armin raised an eyebrow, but he stayed quiet. “And while I’m at it, I have somethin’ else to admit- I’ve always hated the beach.” Armin’s eyes widened, slightly offended, but before he could say anything, Eren kept going, narrowing his eyebrows to remind Armin of his promise to stay quiet. “The water’s salty and gross. The sand follows me home. But I told you I love it ‘cause it makes you happy. And that’s true. I like the beach if I’m at the beach with you.” Armin leaned back, the indignant shock soothed by Eren’s explanation. 

He went into the chorus. “I don’t understand Shakespearean sonnets. Why Darcy was a feminist or any part of that book, let’s be honest.” Armin finally managed a small smile at the way Eren winced at himself. “I get lost when you talk too fast with words I’ve never heard before, but I’ll still ask you questions ‘cause I wanna hear you talk some more. If there’s one thing that I understand, it’s that when you talk, you talk with your hands.” Eren’s voice tapered off into a waver as he sang. “And you get this far off look when you analyze your favorite book. Sonnets make you smile and sigh, so I guess they must be alright.” Armin’s smile grew, but he kept chewing on his lip like he was embarrassed and keeping himself from speaking. 

If he hadn’t pieced it together yet, Eren knew the next part would do it. It terrified and exhilarated him all at once. “I thought documentaries were boring. ‘Til I saw the furrow between your brows, and the way you bit your lip when you were watching.” Armin let go of his lip. “It was the first time that I craved your kiss. Documentaries are cool, I guess,” Eren sang with a breathless laugh. Armin’s face went slack, and Eren knew there was no turning back anymore. “I always hated cheesy rom-com movies. They always made me wanna choke with their best friends to lovers stupid tropes. But you could quote your favorite ones by memory. Then I went and fell for you, now I kinda like ‘em too. And that’s true- I had a lovely realization with you.” 

As Eren sang the chorus again, Armin’s expression went from blank shock to gentle disbelief. Pink dusted across his cheeks and over his nose, somehow making his eyes brighter. All the while his hands twisted and untwisted the end of his jacket. Still, his eyes remained steady on Eren, never looking away. He leaned forward as if to listen better. 

It was easier to sing now that Armin hadn’t run off when he realized what Eren was saying. But fear still clutched at his throat as he ended the song. 

“You made the things I used to hate seem pretty fucking great, but none of it amounts to how I feel about you. So I guess I’m wondering, I need to know if you feel that way about me too. ‘Cause I- I’m hopelessly in love… with you.” He strummed the final chords slower, letting them close the song out as Armin’s eyes watered. 

Immediately, he lowered his face, hiding his red nose with a hand. 

“Before- uh… before you panic, just…. It’s okay if you don’t feel that way. I- I know that was a lot. Being your best friend is more than enough, Armie, and I don’t expect anything out of this. I just figured I needed to tell you because… I don’t know, I’m hoping it explained why I’ve… been nervous.”

Armin sighed, still hiding his face as he wiped at his eyes. “Could you put the guitar up?” 

Nausea rolled in Eren’s stomach as he removed the guitar strap and put his guitar to rest against the wall. He sat back down. He looked down at his hands, running his thumb over the calluses of his left hand’s fingertips. “I understand if you want some space-” 

“Eren.” 

He looked up to find Armin standing in front of him, his face still red. His hands came up to Eren’s cheeks, gentler than he’d been outside. Armin leaned down, hesitating for a couple seconds as a soft breath ghosted over Eren’s lips. And then he was kissing him. 

Eren couldn’t comprehend it. Even as he closed his eyes and kissed him back. 

Armin’s lips were unbelievably soft. His tongue tasted like spearmint. 

The door opened. “Yo, Ere- holy fuck-” 

“Get out,” Armin snapped, not even bothering to look at the door. Jean didn’t even try responding before shutting the door again. He immediately went back to kissing Eren, and it took everything for Eren not to burst into frantic, disbelieving, nervous laughter. He stood up, causing Armin’s hands to drop to his shoulders.

And as much as Eren loved getting to kiss his lips, he cupped Armin’s face and pulled away. He planted kisses to his forehead, to his nose, to his cheeks, to his eyelids, to the corners of his mouth. Finally, he rested his forehead against Armin’s. 

“Armie?” Armin hummed. Eren let out a sigh and said, “I’m gonna need you to break this down for me.” 

Armin let out a soft laugh and nodded. “I’ve liked you for years, Eren. I’d wondered- hoped- that all the teasing was true. But I figured if it was you would tell me.” 

“Wha- why didn’t you tell me? You were the one always brushing them off-” 

“Because I couldn’t tell if you felt the same. Every time I tried to figure it out, you’d be impossible to read.” He shook his head and laughed. “I think you’re incredible, Eren,” he whispered. “I love that you watch movies with me just because you know I like them and that you ask me about the books I like and that you never miss a play that I’m in. I love that you make up songs to remember things, I love that you know my schedule, I love that you remember things I don’t even remember telling you, I love that you only ever let me see you cry when you’re drunk. You’re talented and amazing, and it kills me that you don’t see that in yourself. You pick things up so fast, and you’re so stubborn but that makes you dedicated, and you can do so many things. And you’re smart, Eren, you really are. You don’t give yourself enough credit, but your mind is extraordinary, and I love getting to see the moment when things click, when you figure something out, or hearing you use a word you asked me the definition for.” Armin sighed and took Eren’s hands in his own, interlocking their fingers. “I’ve loved you for a long time, Eren. Every part of you.” 

It was still taking time for the words to process coming from Armin. Eren had thought of the worst case scenario, but he’d never bothered with considering the best. Even so, this managed to exceed it, and Eren was close to malfunctioning. 

“I’m gonna kiss you again,” Eren whispered. 

Armin smiled up at him. “Okay.” 

Eren cupped his face, his thumbs brushing gently across his cheekbone. Soft sighs fell from Armin’s mouth as they found their rhythm, as they slowly managed to sync with each other, gentle and persistent. Eren scraped his teeth against Armin’s lower lip before tilting his head to kiss along his jawline. When he reached the curve of his jaw, Eren kissed and nipped his way down along his throat. 

A shuddered breath tickled Eren’s ear as Armin’s hands twisted into the sides of Eren’s jacket. “You’re really good at this,” he whispered breathlessly. 

Eren smiled against his throat before pulling back, caressing the side of Armin’s crimson face with one hand and brushing back the hair on his forehead with the other. “I’m your best friend. I know what you like because I paid attention.” 

Wide blue eyes looked up at him. Armin was speechless for a few seconds before he yanked Eren by his jacket until they collided against his bed. He pulled Eren back down by the nape of his neck, pulling his hair free of the hair tie keeping it up. His fingers combed through as his tongue mapped out the shape of Eren’s parted lips. 

There was a difference in Armin’s kisses when they were real. And like everything else, Eren could tell the difference. Armin was steadfast and confident in his fake kisses. Composed. 

But when he kissed Eren it was different. He’d keep his eyes closed and bite back a smile, like he had to prepare himself to look at Eren again. His cheeks never lost their scarlet flush. While he had no problem initiating kisses, he was more careful about it. Like he was nervous to do something wrong. 

“Armin,” Eren murmured against his lips. Armin hummed in question. “Am I making you nervous?” 

“I will knee you in the stomach.” Eren laughed, burying the sound in the gentle slope of Armin’s neck. “I get self-conscious when you look at me like that,” Armin admitted softly. 

Eren lifted his head and narrowed his eyes. “I could look at you forever. Then you can get used to it.” 

“Oh my God,” Armin muttered, hiding his face in his hands. “Studying Shakespeare has made you sappy.” 

“No, falling in love with you made me sappy. You should see how many lyrics I wrote about you.” 

“Eren!” Armin parted his fingers to peer up at him. “You wrote more songs for me?” 

“Snippets,” Eren said, nodding his head. “I’ll show them to you. But right now….” Eren turned onto his side, laying beside Armin as blue eyes followed his movement. "I just wanna process that this is really happening." 

"Okay," Armin whispered, turning onto his side to face Eren. 

He started biting his lip when Eren began to trace his features with his fingertips. He followed the curve of his cheeks, the arch of his cheekbone, the slope of the bridge of his nose. He gently pulled his lip until it was free of his teeth, then he traced his lips as though he were committing every line to memory by touch alone. 

As his fingers trailed up the side of his face to comb through his hair, Armin lifted his own hand to catch Eren’s. He kissed each calloused fingertip before grabbing his wrist with the other hand and tracing ticklish lines down the length of each of his fingers. 

When Eren let out a breathy laugh that was embarrassingly close to a giggle, Armin grinned. “Why are you laughing?” 

“That tickles,” he whispered. 

Armin hummed and opted for intertwining their fingers instead, shifting closer until their nose touched. “Hi.” 

“Hey,” Eren answered with a grin and warm cheeks. 

They both laughed breathlessly before Armin tilted his head to catch Eren’s lips. And they were kissing all over again, shifting to be closer, to hold each other. Armin pulled himself over Eren, smiling against his lips as Eren’s hands rested against his thighs. Armin’s fingers ghosted over Eren’s collarbone before he flattened his palm against his chest over his shirt. He let his hands roam for a moment, and Eren watched his expression carefully. 

His hand stopped and a shy smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Your heart is pounding.” 

“Well, an hour ago I thought my feelings were unrequited. Now….” Eren gave him a once over, making Armin more aware of how he sat against his hips, his lips a soft red from all the kissing, his hands firm against Eren’s body. 

He bit his lip to restrain his smile as nodded and lowered his face to brush his lips against Eren’s. “What is this gonna mean?” 

“What do you mean?” 

Every few words were interrupted by a soft kiss which made it harder for Eren to concentrate. “I mean… are we boyfriends now? Should we go on a few dates before deciding?”

Eren shook his head immediately. “No. No more waiting. We’re dating, we’re official, we’re going steady, we’re exclusive, whatever you call it, but yeah- I’d really, really like to tell everyone that you’re my boyfriend from now on.” Armin nodded, a wide smile on his face, complemented by deep crimson cheeks and striking blue eyes that took Eren’s breath away when they looked at him like that. “And I know we gotta talk about that in detail. What we expect and pacing, but… right now- tonight- I just want to look at you and kiss you and try to get my brain to comprehend that you want me too.” 

Gentle fingers brushed his hair back before Armin laid down and settled all of his weight against Eren. “Yeah. That works for me. I’m trying to put it together too.” He sighed and rested his head against Eren’s chest. “I have an early class tomorrow,” he mumbled.

“Me too.” He wrapped his arms around Armin and kissed the top of his head. “Guess I should get used to being attacked by flailing limbs in the middle of the night.”

“You know,” Armin said quietly, slowly, sleepiness seeping into every word to elongate it, “If I’m holding on to you I wouldn’t be able to move around so much.” 

A low, tired laugh pulled itself from Eren’s chest. “I am more than willing to be the little spoon.”

Eren scooted lower, facing Armin as arms wrapped around him in a tight embrace. His lips rested against Eren’s forehead. One leg swung over Eren’s, pulling him in closer. Eren pressed his ear against Armin’s chest hearing the steady, rapid beat of his heart. 

Despite their exhaustion, they didn’t fall asleep right away. The adrenaline that came from knowing their feelings were mutual had left a low but persistent buzz beneath Eren’s skin. Instead, he let his hand run a line back and forth along Armin’s spine. Neither of them had bothered to change into sleeping clothes, but Eren didn’t care. He didn’t want to move from where he was. He didn’t want to interrupt the interspersed kisses against his forehead that grew lazier and slower the more time passed. 

“Go to sleep,” Armin whispered, barely audible over his own weariness. 

“‘M trying, angel,” Eren murmured back.

There was a spike in his heartbeat before Armin’s hold slackened. “Angel?” 

Eren bit the inside of his cheek and pulled back enough to look at Armin. Sleepiness had tightened his eyes, but the distant look that usually came with it wasn’t there. Instead his eyes were bright, clear, very much awake. 

“Is that okay? I think it’s fitting,” Eren whispered. “You’re breathtaking and mesmerizing and ethereal and-” 

Armin tightened his hold, bringing Eren into a more vigorous kiss before a smile interrupted it. His laugh was nervous but happy. “Yeah. I like it.” 

“Cool,” Eren said with a soft laugh. They continued to share kisses which turned lazier and lazier as they treaded the line between wakefulness and sleep. 

As they slept, dawn approached slowly, imperceptibly. Then suddenly the sky was bright, birds chirped, and it was day again. 

A soft whisper and a gentler shake pulled Eren from his sleep. He immediately hid his face in his pillow. “Drooling, don’t look at me.” 

Armin laughed, the sound low and musical against Eren’s ear. “Eren, I spent hours kissing you last night- I really don’t care about the drooling.” 

With an embarrassed groan, Eren turned his head to squint at Armin. “So it was real,” he whispered. 

“Mm. Yeah. And sadly, so are classes. I gotta head back to mine to change-” 

“Wear one of my shirts again,” Eren said. “Please?” 

Armin smiled and nodded. “Okay.” He leaned down and kissed Eren, brushing his thumb against his cheekbone. “I’ll see you for lunch, darling.” 

Eren’s eyes widened, but Armin just smiled as he turned to Eren’s closet to choose a shirt. He gave him a wink before leaving the room, and Eren could only roll over and scream into his pillow before dissolving into delirious, joyous laughter. 

When he got up and got ready, he saw Jean in the kitchen making himself coffee. “Good morning,” Eren greeted with a smile that began to hurt his cheeks. 

“Good morning indeed,” Jean answered with a sly grin. “So….” He raised his eyebrows suggestively. 

“It’s gonna be a great fucking day.” Eren grabbed a granola bar then left the apartment, leaving Jean to sputter after him without answers. As he went to class he saw that their group chat had exploded with messages after Jean told them he’d walked in on a kiss. He didn’t bother answering any of it; he’d get enough teasing from everyone in person. 

His first class passed quickly, though Eren had to admit he wasn’t fully paying attention. He was still living in the night before, smiling to himself as he thought of Armin’s hands on his cheeks, of the gentleness of his lips, of the sighs and breathy laughs he let out, of the way it felt like to fall asleep wrapped up in his arms. Armin had in fact managed to stay much stiller with his arms full of Eren. 

Between his first and second class, he caught up with the demands for an update from the group chat. 

Connie: Has anyone heard from either of them??? I’m starting to think Jean was on something.

Jean: Fuck off, Con. I know what I saw.

Sasha: EREN. E R E N ! ! !

Historia: It’s fine, three of us have already kissed Armin, so we know how it went.

Ymir: ewwwwww

Marco: Three???? Who’s the third???? 

Annie: That would be me

Mikasa: ewwwwww

Jean: Eren Yaeger, respect your Armin-kissing elders and FUCKING ANSWER. 

Marco: ewwww

Annie: We walked so you could run

Connie: Armin’s really out here checking us off one by one

Sasha: Not even the lesbians are safe

Ignoring all of it, he sent back a response. 

Lunch at our usual table?

To his amusement, while everyone else responded with indignant keyboard smashes and all-caps reiterations of their previous texts, Armin responded with, Yep, sounds good! 

He was still riding the euphoria of it all throughout his ethics class. When it ended, Dr. Smith asked him to stay back for a moment. He was packing up his things, so Eren assumed it wasn’t a bad reason, but his stomach still got twisted into knots. 

“I read your paper. You were in the earlier batch,” Erwin said. 

“Oh.” A million things went through his head. Had he accidentally plagiarized something? Would Erwin accuse him of cheating because it sounded nothing like him? Or worse, had he turned in something entirely illegible?

“Considering the way you were struggling, I was happily surprised with what you submitted. It was a very well thought out paper.” He gestured for them to leave the classroom, allowing the next class to set up. As they left the building, Erwin asked, “Did the things I sent you help?” 

“Honestly, not really,” Eren said, looking down at his feet as he walked. “I got help from Armin. He’s in the other-”

“Ah, yes, I know Armin.” 

“Right, well…. He’s kind of always helped me break things down so I could understand it. And that’s what he did with the paper. He didn’t write it for me or anything,” Eren explained quickly. “He just broke down the different philosophies. It was consequences, duty, person. Yeah. And he had me write the first draft of the paper like I was just talking to him. Once I had my thoughts down, I just changed it so… it would be something I could submit.” He grimaced and made himself look at Erwin. “Uh, that won’t… like dock points from either of us, right? He didn’t do any of the work for me or anything-” 

“No, no,” Erwin interrupted with a light laugh. “You’re fine, Eren. I’ve noticed you have a habit of not asking for help. I’m glad to know there’s someone you can and do ask. You did really well. I just thought I’d tell you so you don’t get too worried about the grades. I won’t be submitting them online until Friday. But you aced it.” He stopped walking and grinned proudly. “Can’t wait to see what you do for your final. I’m gonna head to my office. Have a good day, Eren.” 

“Thanks, professor…. Uh, you too!” Eren waved as Erwin walked into the humanities building before smiling to himself. He couldn’t wait to tell Armin. 

As he made his way to the dining hall, he caught sight of Armin sitting at a small table in the hallway. He was scrolling through his phone, biting his lip as his brows pinched together in concentration. 

He had a blue long sleeve beneath Eren’s black shirt, and Eren’s smile widened as he walked up to him. 

Armin looked up, breaking into a smile when he saw Eren. “Hey, you.” 

“Hey,” Eren greeted, leaning down to plant a kiss on his forehead before sitting across from him. “Guess what Erwin just told me.” Armin arched an eyebrow in question. “He told me I aced my midterm. He liked my paper.” 

“Ha! I told you!” Armin reached over, squeezing Eren’s face between his hands. “I told you that it was a good paper.” He leaned over the table, kissing him briefly on the lips. “Congratulations. You’re the next Aristotle.” 

Eren scrunched his nose. “I don’t know enough to be like those old guys.” 

Armin laughed. “To know what you don’t know is already half the battle, darling.” He stood up and held out his hand. “Ready?” 

“I’m ready for anything if your hand is in mine.” 

Despite the way Armin rolled his eyes, his cheeks turned a bright red. “Always knew you were a romantic,” he muttered, squeezing Eren’s hand lightly. 

“Just with you, Armie,” Eren said, leaning in to kiss his temple. “I don’t have to hold back anymore, so you’re getting years’ worth of sappy comments.” 

Armin smiled up at him. “I think I can live with that.” 

They split apart only to get in different lines for food before their hands intertwined again when they paid. 

“Ye-heah! Fuckin’ finally!” 

Connie’s voice carried across the dining hall, and Eren tightened his grip around Armin’s hand as Armin laughed and turned red all over again. They made their way over to their friends. 

Even those who didn’t usually make it for lunch like Ymir, Annie, and Marco were there. 

Ymir had a knowing smirk on her face while Mikasa’s smile was softer, more subdued, but her eyes glinted with joy. Jean sat them both down with a hand on their shoulders as Sasha slammed her hands on the table. 

They were interrogated throughout the lunch, and thankfully, Armin maneuvered most of the conversation keeping from divulging the personal details while satisfying their friends’ curiosities. He’d squeeze Eren’s hand now and then or let his gaze sweep over him with so much happiness in them that it made Eren’s chest flutter. 

Armin finally managed to put a stop to it all when he reminded them that he had a class to get to. Eren still had time before his, but he offered to walk him. He ignored the teasing comments that it brought on, pulling Armin out of the dining hall and to the hallway. He stopped by the doors of the building to look at Armin with a grin.

“You’re a genius, you know that?” he said. 

“I’d been planning what I was gonna tell them without telling them everything since I left your apartment,” Armin admitted with a laugh. His hands tugged on his jacket zipper, pulling Eren down until their noses brushed. 

“You know they’re definitely watching us, right?” 

Armin shrugged and scrunched his nose briefly. “Well then, give ‘em a show,” he whispered. 

With a disbelieving laugh, Eren closed the space between their mouths, lifting one hand to Armin’s cheek as he kissed him properly.

Almost immediately, a series of obnoxious whoops and cheers erupted from the dining hall entrance. 

“Get it, Armin!” 

“Kiss him like you mean it, Yaeger!” 

Someone let out a wolf whistle. 

Their kiss was interrupted by laughter, but Armin kept his flushed gaze on Eren. Meanwhile Eren lifted his hand in the general direction of their friends to flip them off. He placed a kiss on Armin’s nose before taking his hand again and leaving the building, cutting off the playful teasing when the door closed behind them.