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My feet are aching
And your back is pretty tired
And we've drunk a couple bottles, babe
And set our grief aside
The last few months of the war were hard. Everyone was full of grief, everyday they read of another death. Sometimes if it was someone close to them they would be visited by Peter, the only person that knew where they were hiding.. They were all tired. Tired of the fighting and achieving nothing, tired of seeing their friends and family be murdered cold-heartedly, tired of having to hide and not being able to see the remaining ones.
The papers say it's doomsday
The button has been pressed
We're gonna nuke each other up boys
'Til old Satan stands impressed
Lily knew that Peter betrayed them. She had a bad feeling for a while now, but today, on october 31st, in her last moments of living she pieced all the pieces together. Peter’s coldness towards them. How he only wore long sleeves, even in summer. The sadness in his eyes when he visited them. Lily thought it was because how many of their friends died but she knew better now. Peter betrayed them. All of them. He killed the Mckinnons. He let them mistrust each other. All the time it was him, but nobody would suspect Peter. It was genius, choosing him. Peter always was the little rat who was power hungry. They could’ve known but especially James would never mistrust his friends. It was one of his best qualities that could easily be taken advantage of. And that’s exactly what Peter did.
And here it is, our final night alive
And as the earth runs to the ground
Oh girl, it's you that I lie with
As the atom bomb locks in
Oh, it's you I watch TV with
As the world, as the world caves in
Shortly after they got together they always talked about growing old together, ignoring the ever so closer creeping war. They let themselves be happy for a few hours. They talked about how they could never exist without each other, how they probably would be together until the end of their days. Now they would die together. But not at an old age, like they always laughed about. They would die together way too soon, there still was so much to be done. At least they will have each other.
You put your final suit on
I paint my fingernails
Oh, we're going out in style, babe
And everything's on sale
She wanted to look special. Lily didn’t know why, but she had a bad feeling about this day. So she put Harry in his best clothes and got dressed up herself. Lily knew none of their friends would visit them tonight. It was too dangerous. And nobody trusted the other. They had no contact with any of them. Expect Peter. She wanted that her little family could live their last day to the fullest, if something was gonna happen. If nothing would happen, she thought, they’d still have a fun day. As much as was possible anyway. They couldn’t do much, so she settled on dressing up, baking with James and Harry, crafting fun things for Harry he wasn’t going to use anyway, and reading her favourite book. She wouldn’t be able to finish it, just like how she wouldn’t be able to finish her life. If she was a book, this would be the last chapter. After that, blank pages. An unfinished book. An unfinished story. Maybe there will be a few ink stains on the next page, maybe the writer will stop mid sentence, ending a story abruptly that should've had so many more chapters.
We creep up on extinction
I pull your arms right in
I weep and say goodnight, love
While my organs pack it in
They never should have trusted Dumbeldore. Lily knew that now. But now it was too late. She wishes she could go back to tell their 17 year old selves that they shouldn’t do it. Don’t join the war. Don’t fight. Don’t trust Dumbeldore. It will kill us all. But it was too late now. Dumbeldore took James’s invisibility cloak and cut them off from any kind of communication. But it was all for their safety. If it was that easy.
And here it is, our final night alive
And as the earth runs to the ground
The day was coming to an end and all Lily wanted to do was to cry. Cry about all of the things they would miss, grieving all the things they couldn’t experience. Cry about how their life was cut so incredibly short, how it wasn’t fair that they had to die while others didn’t even try to fight. But she didn’t. She didn’t cry because wasting her last hours wasn’t an option for her. Instead she wrote letters. So many letters to everyone. To Sirius. to Remus, to Peter but also to all of the friends they made along the way. She even wrote to her old professor who now was a close friend, Minerva McGonnagall, asking her to look out for Harry, if anything would happen. One last letter she held off for the end. She wrote to Dumbledore, the man she once looked up to. She wrote all of it, how she knew what he was doing but also begging him to find a safe place for Harry. That’s all she wanted.
Dear Padfoot,
if you are reading this, it will be too late. It was Peter. Peter who betrayed us all, Please make sure he gets what he deserves. Take care of yourself. I know it will be hard but please do. Take care of Remus too. Whatever you do, don’t forget that we love you. So so much. And please, I'm begging, please don’t trust Dumbledore. It will get us all killed. You can’t trust him. Please take care of Harry if he survives, please do everything imaginable so he doesn’t get put to living with my sister. Please.
And lastly, Sirius, it’s not your fault. Please don’t blame yourself. It is not your fault that we trusted Peter. That we trusted Dumbledore.
I love you.
-Lily
Sirius was never able to read this letter. Even years later you could see where the ink got smeared in Lily’s tears.
Dear Moony. Dear Remus.
I love you. James loves you. Harry loves you. Please remember that, we will always stay beside you. It was Peter. I only figured it out today and now it’s too late. We can’t get out of here. Try to live your life for me, Remus. Don’t forget yourself.
in love,
-Lily
Remus never read that letter.
Dear Peter,
I don't know if you will ever read this, but I won't waste my time too much. I knew it was you. And I hope you get what you deserve. I resent you. How could you? You were such a sweet boy. But people change. Not always to the good.
When did that sweet boy I once met turn into the monster you are now?
-Lily
Peter read that letter a few days after the incident. Sirius was already in Azkaban. It was the first moment he really felt regret. The words would never leave him until he met his end.
Oh girl, it's you that I lie with
As the atom bomb locks in
In the end it wasn’t James Lily would die with. James died before her. He sacrificed himself so she could escape with Harry. But she failed. She was alone with Harry. She could hear her death creeping up the stairs, destroying the doors, coming into the room. The room she would die in.
She said her last words to her Harry, the last words she was ever going to speak to him. The last words she was ever going to speak.
“Harry, you are so loved, so loved.
Harry, Mama loves you. Dada loves you.
Harry, be safe. Be strong.”
(Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows-Part 2)
They loved him. So much.
Oh, it's you I watch TV with
As the world, as the world caves
Oh, it's you that I lie with
As the atom bomb locks in
Lily did everything she could to protect Harry. She hoped it was enough. She knew she wouldn’t find out.
Yes it's you I welcome death with
As the world, as the world caves in
As the world caves in
In the last seconds of her life Lily was filled with love. Filled with the love for her Husband. Filled with the love for her child, Harry. In the last seconds of her life Lily took a last look at her son.
The last thing Lily Evans saw before her life came to an end was the with green light illuminated face of her son.
Then, in the next second, her life came to an abrupt end.