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JONGHYUN
When Jonghyun thought he had gotten a few steps closer to his favourite hyung, Kyuhyun showed him how he was still so far behind—by introducing Uhm Kijoon.
The thing was, Jonghyun wasn't sure how much he minded, especially when he saw Kyuhyun's radiant face when the older man smiled at him.
MINHO
Minho just watched from the side, how the envy was obvious on Changmin's face as his number one best friend is clinging to another person, how the shock gradually got replaced by resignation (the hopeless adoration would never disappear, though) on Jonghyun's face, and how both Kijoon and Kyuhyun seemed quite oblivious to the things Minho saw, most likely too absorbed in one another.
CHANGMIN
Changmin didn’t like it.
He believed in self-preservation, in protecting oneself. Trusting another person with the keeping of his heart was, for him, the equivalent of total idiocy.
This was why he narrowed his eyes at the look on Kyuhyun’s face. Even the blind could see that his best friend had got it bad. Kyuhyun was, to put it bluntly, hopelessly smitten.
“Are you serious with him?”
He had Kyuhyun cornered in the men’s room as soon as he got the chance. The look Kyuhyun gave him in return was confused at best—and definitely more than half-drunk.
“You mean Kijoon-hyung?”
“I suppose that’s a stupid question,” Changmin muttered to himself. “The real question should be, is he serious with you?”
Kyuhyun pouted, looking a bit hurt. “What– do you mean he’s not serious with me?” he slurred, barely intelligible in his drunken state.
“You’re not listening. I’m asking you–“
“If he’s not serious with me?” Kyuhyun demanded, voice rising. “Why, have you heard something?”
Changmin was about to repeat his question when he realized that Kyuhyun was more insecure than angry at him. Kyuhyun wore his heart on his sleeve, he knew this for a fact. What he didn't know was it was this serious.
“I didn’t mean anything,” he said in a gentler voice, laying a careful hand on Kyuhyun’s shoulder. “I was just asking. Honestly.”
But it was as if Kyuhyun had not heard him. “Am I the stupid one here?” he whispered, eyes large and watery and just so fucking vulnerable that Changmin felt like hitting himself over the head for ever opening his mouth. “I am, aren’t I? After all, what does he see in me–"
At that point, Changmin could only pull his best friend into his arms, holding him so close until he could feel every lick of fear, every shudder of breath and every stuttering beat of his heart.
“Chwang…” He heard the faint, broken murmur coming from the hopeless idiot in his arms. “What should I do? Help me.”
Changmin swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. “You don’t... you don’t have do anything, alright? If he’s serious, that’s great, and if he’s not, I will definitely beat him–” Changmin stopped. He needed to get rid of the habit of running his mouth when he panicked, because Kyuhyun obviously stopped listening at ‘if he's not’.
The door was suddenly pushed open from the outside. Changmin tightened his arms around Kyuhyun, prepared to glare at anyone who dared to step in at this delicate moment—when Uhm Kijoon entered and caught the two best friends in each other’s arms.
“Oh.” His face shifted from concerned to perfectly expressionless in a blink of an eye. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
And then he turned around, the door closing behind his back before either of them could react.
“No…” Changmin could literally feel the choking panic radiating off Kyuhyun’s body. “No, hyung, it wasn’t– no, please don’t go–”
“Wait, Kyu.” It was all Changmin could do to stop his best friend from rushing out. He pulled Kyuhyun back into his arms and used all his strength to physically restrain him—a near-impossible feat considering that Kyuhyun was almost hysterical with panic and now desperately pushing him away.
“Listen to me!” Changmin hissed in front of his ear. “You go out there now, looking like this, and you’ll end up on the front page of every gossip site in half an hour! So no, you’re not going after him! Not now. Not like this!”
“But he–” Kyuhyun was still trying to struggle free from his chokehold. “He saw us and thought–”
“I know.” Changmin secured his embrace around Kyuhyun's shoulders. “He misunderstood. We’ll explain to him later and if he really loves you, then he will listen. Do you hear me?”
“If he doesn’t want me anymore–”
“Then he doesn’t deserve you.”
“Chwang.” It was a sob and it ripped through his heart. “I can’t–”
“I know.” Changmin swallowed the lump in his throat, pulling Kyuhyun even closer. “Sshhh, I know.”
The next ten minutes might not be the most horrible moment in Changmin’s life, but they were definitely in the top five as he listened to his best friend’s broken sobs and knew that there was absolutely nothing he could do about them.
At least for now.
.
“Good evening, hyung.”
Shim Changmin was by no means a coward. No amount of courage, however, could prevent him from feeling like a rat knocking on a cat's door as he stood in front of Uhm Kijoon's house—and the man himself.
“What do you want?”
Changmin was perfectly aware that pride was the only thing stopping Kijoon from slamming the door on his face, but it would take much more than a door in the face to stop him right now. “I apologise for bothering you so late, but I want to explain about the misunderstanding earlier.”
A dark look crossed Kijoon’s face and Changmin quickly continued. “He is my best friend. And I’m his best friend. The last thing I want in this world is to see him sad.”
“I’m sure you are fully qualified to comfort him,” was the perfectly toneless retort.
Changmin stomped down a spike of irritation at the jab. “Maybe, but to be honest, comfort is a poor substitute for what he feels for you.”
“Is that why you’re here?”
“Look, it was my fault.” Changmin threw away any hope to approach the subject in a diplomatic manner. If he had to run into walls, then he would gladly run into walls as long as he could fix this. “I questioned him about you because I’m a suspicious bastard like that. He was… he was insecure. Like he felt that he didn’t deserve you. Maybe because he was drunk too, but honestly, that’s all there to it.”
The look Kijoon gave him remained unimpressed. “Even supposing what you said is true, then why are you the one standing here instead of him?”
“Because he passed out in the back of the car after breaking his own heart and torturing himself with thoughts of making you angry,” Changmin blurted out, voice rising with frustration. “Hyung, I don’t know why you decided to date him. I don’t even know if you’re serious or it was just for a little bit of fun on your side—although for the love of everything holy, if it was, then please leave him alone.” There was a pause as he took a deep breath to calm himself, ears still filled with the ghost of Kyuhyun's sobs. He was going to make this right. “All I know is that if you do love him and you’re serious about this, then you have the power to make a really wonderful person really happy.”
Kijoon said nothing for a long time. It annoyed Changmin that he could read practically nothing on the older man’s expression. Those years of being an actor surely paid.
“Are you really his best friend?” Kijoon finally broke his silence.
Changmin’s lips twitched. “You mean ‘just’ his best friend?” he shot back wryly. “Yes, I am. And no, I don’t love him that way, but he matters to me. A lot. So.”
“I see.” The tone remained noncommittal—but was that just Changmin’s imagination or his gaze was not as steely as before? “He’s in the car?”
“Our manager is waiting with him,” he replied quickly, “but like I said, he already passed out.”
“He can stay here for the night,” Kijoon said decisively.
Changmin was inclined to question the judgment, but it was not until they had Kyuhyun settled safely in the spare bedroom—and he saw the tenderness in the older man’s expression as he pushed a lock of hair away from Kyuhyun's face that Changmin knew for certain: that if this was a gamble, then it would be one worth making.
“It’s really serious, isn’t it?” his manager asked once they were back in the car, speeding back to Changmin’s place.
“Maybe,” Changmin muttered, but deep inside he prayed so hard that it would work out.
KYUHYUN
Kyuhyun woke up with the worst hangover he ever had and a suffocating feeling because of something he hadn't quite recalled yet. He could feel his swollen eyes, as if he had been crying all night. Rolling on the bed covered with faintly familiar sheets, Kyuhyun nearly fell off if it weren't for the pair of hands holding him from behind.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
Turning around too fast, he was attacked by a sudden bout of nausea—and threw up all over himself and the person he was so sure he would never see again.
“Oh God,” he mumble, horrified. Tears sprang in his eyes as shame burst through every pore in his body. He had never humiliated himself worse in his life. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry–”
But Kijoon only hushed and gathered him into his arms, stroking his back until he stopped shaking. Then he pulled back just a bit and gently wiped Kyuhyun's chin with his hand, staring at him as if they both didn't have vomit all over themselves. As if he was still the most beautiful person in the world in his eyes.
Kyuhyun broke down into more wracking sobs. He couldn’t stop, the painful burst of humiliation and self-disgust and raw gratitude rendering him completely useless to do anything else. It was only after they had wobbled into the bathroom to clean themselves that it began to subside.
The shower floor was cold. Kyuhyun sat unmoving under a heavy torrent of water, sobs finally reduced into small sniffs as a pair of gentle, soothing hands carefully lathered his hair. He could barely process what was happening, let alone respond. His entire body was shackled by numbness, as still and unresponsive as a corpse, and yet Kijoon continued to display such godlike patience toward him that Kyuhyun could feel the choking tightness return to his throat, threatening him once more with tears.
“Are you mad at me?’
Kyuhyun froze, shocked. “What?” he rasped thickly, mortification momentarily forgotten.
“Are you mad at me?” Kijoon repeated, gently tilting his chin. Kyuhyun would have fought it, but in the clutch of shock, he had neither the strength nor the will.
Their gazes met. To his surprise, there was a hint of a smile on the other man’s face.
“At least now you’re looking at me.”
Kyuhyun swallowed, eyes watering again. “Hyung…”
“I owe you an apology,” Kijoon continued, wiping the fresh warm droplets from his cheeks. “For yesterday.”
“I thought you were angry,” Kyuhyun whispered faintly. The look on Kijoon’s face when he had found him in Changmin's arms had tortured him the entire night.
“Angry, no.” The honest, no-nonsense answer came without hesitation. “But… jealous maybe.”
Kyuhyun stared at him, uncomprehending. Kijoon's smile widened slightly and he leaned in to kiss Kyuhyun's temple. “You two are close, no one can deny that. You’ve also told me about it a hundred times at least. And last night, for the first time ever, I finally saw what kind of closeness it was.” He paused and shook his head with a sigh. “I guess I wasn’t prepared for it.”
“We are friends,” Kyuhyun said quickly, desperate to convince the older man.
“I know. What I’m saying is that’s why I jumped into the wrong conclusion too quickly.” Regret filled his expression. “I hurt you, didn’t I?”
“No,” Kyuhyun bravely lied, but it only made Kijoon laugh. How he loved that laugh. The sound warmed his heart and Kyuhyun managed a watery smile in return, finding some measure of odd comfort in how easily the other man could see through his pretences.
“Your friend is a good friend,” Kijoon said again when they had stepped out of the shower. Kyuhyun only stood meekly in the middle of the bathroom as a large fluffy towel was wrapped around his naked body. He still felt vulnerable, but at least no longer like he could break with every shuddering breath.
“He’s my best friend.” Even in the enclosed space, his voice sounded small and frail. Kyuhyun found himself looking down, unable to meet the other man’s searching gaze.
“He said you were insecure.” Kijoon continued mildly, hands busy drying his hair. “That you felt like you didn’t deserve me or something of the kind.”
Kyuhyun briefly considered murdering said best friend, but then Kijoon cupped his face to look at him.
“Is that really how you feel?”
“I…” Kyuhyun swallowed, heart twisting painfully in his chest. “I don’t know what you see in me.”
“Even now?”
“Especially now,” he said firmly. Something in his answer drew another laugh from Kijoon, and Kyuhyun couldn’t help the shaky smile that tugged at his lips in response. It was the simple but wonderful part of being in love. When they laughed, you laughed, simply from the pleasure of seeing them happy.
“I’m really, really sorry about earlier,” Kyuhyun continued nervously, biting his lips. “I promise I'll deal with all the mess, just... please–”
“There, you’ve got your answer,” Kijoon interrupted him, two fingers pressed against his lips. “Do you think you’ll still be here now if you didn't mean something to me? If you’re any less than truly, absolutely special? After that?”
Kyuhyun made a sound somewhere between a strangled sob and a whine, and before he knew it, his arms had come around Kijoon, hugging the older man tightly. The agonising knot in his chest unravelled at last as he continued to cling to Kijoon, a soft litany of hyung, hyung, hyung repeatedly falling from his lips.
"You said you don't know what I see in you," Kijoon said a while later, when they were back on a clean bed, in a voice so soft it warmed Kyuhyun's ears. "Funny, because I don't know what you see in me. I guess that makes us even," he chuckled and Kyuhyun hummed, too far gone into his sleepy haze to make a real response, or else he would've said that no, they were far from even because Kyuhyun had fallen so hard for the other man that it wasn't fair.
Little did he know that Kijoon said exactly the same thing only a moment after he fell asleep.
End