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My boyfriend is an ouroboros.
When we first met, it was in our dorm. He’d gotten there a couple days before, and everything on his side of the room was already set up and masterfully arranged so that it looked like the neatest pile of junk I had ever seen. There were books everywhere and trinkets and an hourglass . . . stuff you would never expect such a young unassuming guy to have.
Which was the form he had chosen to take, a pudgy human with dark curly hair, brown skin, and black eyes. He was nestled in his blankets, curled up with a book and a bag of chips when I came in. He unwrapped himself and got up to say hello before asking if I wanted any help bringing my stuff in.
The first thing that I noticed was how pretty he was. And then I saw that his clothes, a long-sleeved shirt and shorts, were straining on him, showing off his belly and thighs in detail. I had gulped before agreeing, and though he had managed to get crumbs on everything he touched, I was still grateful for the help and the view.
I didn’t think he was strange until I noticed how he never seemed to stop eating. Whenever I saw him, he had something in his hands, whether it was takeout, snacks, dessert, even just a drink. It made sense then, that he also just kept on getting bigger, his clothes getting smaller and smaller until even the oversized sweatshirts he preferred showed a sliver of belly.
I had heard him mumble something about the ‘drawbacks of this form’ before he had gone out and returned with clothes that actually fit him. Then the process began all over again.
Two months into the semester, he’d needed to go buy clothes again, and I, being extremely invested, said that I’d come with.
He’d wanted to go to some expensive place, but I, being the thrifty college student that I am, dragged him to a target to pick out four-dollar t-shirts.
‘Are you going to change your eating habits?’ I asked him when he protested, ‘Because otherwise you’re just going to grow out of them again, aren’t you?’
He looked at me with a defeated expression, showing that eating less was not an option. He didn’t complain once while we sifted through blank t-shirts and cheap underwear.
Of course, at the time, I thought the reason for not wanting to slow down was because of how greedy he was, which to an extent was true, but it obviously wasn’t the whole of it. I probably could have pieced together that something deeper was going on, with how he seemed to know everything about every subject, helping me with my homework even though we were in different majors. He burned through his own work as soon as he got home before jumping in bed and going back to reading or playing on his computer or, recently, bothering me.
Ever since I’d taken him to the store, his interest in me had increased as well. He’d lay on his bed watching me do work while feeding himself snacks, going with me to stuff like bingo and football games, and sometimes on weekend trips to explore the city near campus. I could feel myself growing closer and closer to him.
He came back winter semester not really looking even fatter than when he’d left. It wasn’t really surprising that he’d gotten fatter since I’d last seen him, but I was happy to see the change nontheless.
I think by then I’d realized that something was up, and I wanted to figure out what it was at the very least before summer break.
Of course, I didn’t know how to bring it up, and instead settled into the routine we’d had the previous semester, enabling him, and staying glued to his side.
That day, I like to think that we were having too much fun together, that I had distracted him for a little too long. We were out at a festival together in the city, people in costumes milling all around us, and booths lining the street. We had been talking and laughing, going from attraction to attraction, and I had idly noticed that he hadn’t eaten anything in a little while, a couple hours. I’d felt all warm and flowery when I’d realized it, thinking myself a real charmer knowing that I’d been more interesting than food, which I knew he loved so much.
And then he’d keeled over. His arms wrapped around his stomach, and he convulsed violently. I’d pulled him behind a tent out of the way of the crowd and sat him down on the curb.
‘Are you alright? What’s wrong? Should I call somebody?’ I asked frantically. My hands nervously running up and down his arms as if I could massage whatever illness was affecting him out.
‘Food, please, I . . .’ He pushed at my shoulder and pulled at my bag. He was sweating now, and his stomach growled loudly, sounding malicious and very, very angry.
Confused I slipped my bag off and pulled out the granola bar I had been saving for myself. I wasn’t sure how it would help a stomachache but deciding that he knew his body better than I did, I handed it over.
He shoved the entire thing in his mouth, teeth flashing and looking completely unsatisfied when it was gone. He tugged at my shirt, giving me a pitiful look as he licked the residual chocolate from his fingers.
‘More?’ he asked.
‘I only had the one,’ I replied, feeling like I’d personally failed him even though the bar was for me in the first place. ‘I can buy you something if you want?’
Somehow, he managed to shout out an excited chorus of yesses. Followed by a ‘Please,’ added on like and afterthought to appease me.
‘It might be a wait because of the lines, but I’ll try to get something as quickly as I can, okay?’
He got a pained look on his face, ‘Please hurry,’ he pleaded.
That pulled at my heartstrings, but before I ran off to get him his food, I told him that in exchange, he had to tell me what was going on when I got back.
As soon as I got in line, I started to worry that I might be making the wrong decision and should have gotten someone to look at him. Should I have taken him to the EMTs around that corner?
But when I considered leaving the line, I saw all the people who had gotten in line after me, how close I was to the counter, and him watching me. I turned back to the counter, letting myself trust him.
I returned with quite a bit of food. It had made the wait longer, but he seemed to appreciate it as I’d thought he would. He wolfed it down at first, like he needed it inside him as soon as possible. Then after a while, his eating became more relaxed.
“So?” I prodded when he’d calmed down.
He looked sideways as if he’d been hoping I would forget what he promised to tell me.
‘I, um, my body is . . .’ he stammered, ‘I have this condition where I have to, er, eat almost constantly or my body will digest itself.’
I didn’t know what to say, so I just stared at him and waited for further explanation.
‘It happens when my stomach is completely empty, you see, and I forgot to bring food with me today, so that’s why I got sick.’ He continued sheepishly.
‘. . . Are you okay, now?’
‘Until I get hungry again, yeah,’ He said popping another fry into his mouth, ‘but I should probably go home soon so you don’t have to deal with that again.’
I didn’t hear any further details for two weeks. Then, one evening, he was in my bed. He was supposed to be helping me with homework, but then I’d gotten a little too close and kissed him, tasting chocolate and salt, and he’d wrapped his pillowy arms around my neck and kissed me back. The loose-leaf and pencils had been kicked onto the floor and I’d pushed him onto his back, his soft belly pressing into my stomach as I leaned over him.
I reached for the hem of his shirt, but he swatted at my hand before cupping my face with his palms.
‘Listen, there’s something I have to tell you before we go any further.’
He got that look on his face like when I had forced him to tell me about his illness at the festival, and my first guess was that it had to do with that.
‘I’m listening,’ I said.
‘. . . It’s about my illness, I’m . . . I’m not exactly human, I’m,’ He winced, ‘this sounds ridiculous, I know, but . . . I’m an ouroboros, a dragon, the one that bites its tail?’
‘A dragon.’ I repeated dubiously.
‘Yeah, one sec, I’ll show you.’ He pushed at me, pulling himself out from under me and rolling off the bed to stand in the middle of the room.
I watched him with a mix of confusion and interest as he cleared the center of the room and stripped off his clothes, then he turned back to me.
‘Ready?’ he asked.
‘Yeah, um . . .’
‘Just, er, don’t scream, okay?’
I didn’t answer, just watched him with my full undivided attention.
He closed his eyes, inhaled, and started to elongate. He became slim and snakelike until he was a snake. But he was longer and girthier than any snake I had ever seen, a dragon.
I couldn’t breathe until he’d changed back.
‘I’m sure you have questions . . .’ He said shyly, tugging his sweatpants back on.
‘What. . . why? How?’
‘I don’t really remember a time when I wasn’t like this, so I don’t really know why I am the way that I am.’
There were others like him too. Not many, but he’d been around a while and able to meet a couple. One of them had taught him how to shapeshift only recently, which was the cause of going to college, it seemed.
‘And this doesn’t bother you at all, does it?’ He asked worriedly, pinching my shirt.
‘No, I don’t think so,’ I replied. Although it was a lot, I didn’t really feel anything other than, wow, that’s pretty cool, I’d really like to go back to making out with you, though. ‘It just means I have to feed you lots, right?’
‘Yes, that is true,’ He grinned and kissed me. ‘Also, apparently if you have sex with me, you’ll become immortal.’
‘Will I have to stuff myself all day like you do?’ I asked incredulously.
“Hmm~ that’s a risk you have to be willing to take!’