Work Text:
Levi should probably have mentioned he was afraid of heights before he'd let Erwin drag him out onto the apartment rooftops. He was clinging on for dear life to him as they perched on the edge, Erwin oblivious to the fingernails digging into his skin.
Too late now.
The worst thing was, so far, neither of them had even seen any stars, forget about shooting stars. The city glow was just too bright, and Levi sighed sadly into his arm.
"Everything all right?" Erwin asked, brushing the hair out of his eyes. "You seem down."
"Yeah, I'm just..." He tried to say terrified of heights. He really did, but both his pride and his conscience bolted his jaw shut before he could.
"Just what?"
"Disappointed. We should have seen at least something by now." It wasn't a total lie, when you came down to it.
Erwin chuckled. "You've been standing on a rooftop with me, holding hands and nuzzled into my shoulder, while we stare romantically at the stars, and all you can think is "disappointed"? I'm flattered."
"That's not what I mean, you insufferable dumbass," Levi said affectionately, butting his shoulder.
"Well, I still feel hurt." Erwin put on a huge frown, and waggled his eyebrows at him. Levi practically choked laughing, then paled as he lost his balance. Erwin pulled him back just in time. "Be careful, you adorable douchebag. I'd hate to clean up the mess if you fell, and god knows your ghost would haunt me if I didn't."
"Brat," he smiled into his sweater. It smelled like grass and tea leaves.
"Hey, just look up, ok? You're not going to see anything in my clothes" he said, jerking his arm away, causing Levi to squirm uncomfortably again. They could never just be together and enjoy it anymore, it was always about what they could see or do. He disregarded the sinking feeling in his stomach as he looked out over the city, focusing instead on where he was pointing.
Suddenly, as though Erwin was psychic, a fizz of something began across the sky. It streaked outward and broadened, cutting one end from the other, easily visible even when nothing else was. They both had a sharp intake of breath as the scene reached its peak, sparks peeling away like fireflies. Then, as abruptly as it had appeared, the star vanished into the impenetrable black, leaving an empty canvas once more.
"Wow." Levi was breathless from the view; it had been beautiful and terrifying all at once.
"Told you so," Erwin said, squeezing his hand. "Did you make a wish?"
Levi shook his head. "You actually believe in those? Tch." Even with his skepticism, he thought about actually doing it for a moment, before dismissing it.
"C'mon, just try." Erwin nudged at his hair with his nose, before Levi swatted him away.
"Fine, fine." He closed his eyes and thought, I wish Erwin and I would understand each other better. "Happy now?"
"What did you wish for?"
"A boyfriend who doesn't have shooting star fetishes. Come on, let's go inside."
"Aw, after only one star?"
"Erwin, come on, I did what you wanted. Let's go inside."
"Fine.. Only because it's you," he said, then pulled him up for a kiss, before striding off in front of him.
Levi didn't like the twisting in his gut as he followed.
Morning came around, ultimately, in his opinion, a little too fast. Levi blinked drowsily, stretching like a cat, before noticing his feet were hanging off Erwin's bed.
Odd.
He felt someone curled into his side, and he smiled fondly, lifting up the covers to look at him.
Except it wasn't Erwin next to him.
Levi was lying next to his own body.
His heart skipped several beats as he began feeling himself up and down, making sure he wasn't a ghost. Sighing in relief once he'd reassured himself he was still quite human, he looked curiously at his own sleeping figure. He stopped however, once a few strands of blonde hair caught his attention near the edges of his vision, apprehension hitting him like a freight train.
They had swapped bodies.
"Erwin..?" he asked, creeped out by his own words. It was weird, hearing someone else's voice leaving his lips.
"Gnhgg.." Levi -no, Erwin- curled inwards even tighter. "Five more minutes," he said in his husky growl.
"Erwin, now," Levi said in a panicky tone, "We have a small problem."
Erwin slowly opened his eyes and hit him with a smouldering look, once that might have sparked his arousal if it hadn't been his own body he was looking at. He seemed to realize he was looking at himself only a few seconds later. Before he could do anything besides open his eyes in astonishment, there was a knock at the front door, making them both jump. They exchanged a confused look, before Levi said quickly, "I'll explain later. Give me a minute."
He got up, pushing off Erwin as he babbled incoherently. Walking out into the hall, he went to the door and peered out the peephole. He saw Mike standing on the other side, Hanji yakking about something he couldn't quite hear through the door at him. Levi gulped. He didn't know either of Erwin's friends too well. Inhaling, he turned the doorknob and opened the door with a smile.
"Erwin!" Hanji squealed, throwing her arms around his neck. "Are you ready to go?"
"Go?" Levi squeaked. "Where?" He looked over his shoulder at Erwin, whose eyes were wide and was shaking his head vigourously. He mouthed what is this all about? at him, but Erwin only continued shaking his head.
"How could you have forgotten?" Hanji tsked at him, before leaning in to whisper in his ear. "Levi's birthday you dummy!" Levi had to do all but make sure his jaw didn't hit the floor.
"Oh, right," he said, faking a confident face. "Can you just give us a minute? I might not be able to go today. Either way, I'm just going to get dressed first." He started walking off, but Mike pulled him backwards by the arm.
"What do you mean?!" he hissed. "We're been planning this for weeks, and you have to book at least a month prior, you can't just back out now! Levi will be upset if you can't schedule it for the day of, and you'd have to pretend you forgot his birthday if we don't get it done then anyways. What kind of roommate would that make you?"
He flinched at the word roommate. "Shit, alright, alright, I'll be out in a minute, just hold up," he said irritably.
Mike gave him a wary look, before sniffing him twice, and Levi had to steel himself not to jump away. "Are you alright Erwin? You don't smell.. right."
"I'm fine. I'm just fucking fine. Be out soon, promise," he said, scurrying inside again.
The door clicked closed, and Mike looked at Hanji. "He smells like Levi again. And now he sounds like he's using his foul language too."
Hanji shrugged. "They only smell alike because they live together Mike. He promised you they weren't like that, didn't he?"
Mike looked at the door again. "I don't really care honestly. I just think it's weird. I mean, if he's not, why do they smell like they're so close, and if he is, why would he lie to us?" His voice changed to a somewhat hurt tone. "We'd accept him, right?"
"Yes, of course we would Mikey," Hanji said, leaning on him. "Just let him be. Erwin's always been the type to put up walls around himself."
Levi slammed the door behind him, a morbid expression on his face. He slid down the door and sat on the tiles, when Erwin came up and sat on his lap. "Sorry. I wanted it to be a surprise."
"It's alright," he said, tilting his head upwards and kissing him affectionately. "It really is sweet that you were going to do that for me." He looked up and changed the subject abruptly, put off by the fact he was kissing himself. "Have you figured the whole swap situation out yet?"
"No."
Levi took a deep breath. "I think it was my wish yesterday."
"Oh god, this sounds like some kind of cliché movie," Erwin giggled. "What did you wish for?"
"It is," he laughed, "I wished we could understand each other better." He only realized how shallow that sounded after he'd said it, heat rising to his face. What, they didn't understand each other well now, after seeing each other for years?
"Right. Not sure how we'd get to know each other better, but I guess this is how it's going to be. So, remind me, how do you do anything in this body?" Erwin asked jokingly, stretching his arms upwards. "I can't even touch the ceiling anymore!" He smiled, and Levi made a mental note to smile more often once things were back to normal.
"I could get used to this change," Levi said, picking him up by his arms and throwing him over his shoulder. "Does this mean I get to be on top from now on?"
"In your dreams." Erwin nipped playfully at his ear.
"C'mon, no matter how much I wish I did, I don't have time for this right now, thanks to you." Levi shivered as Erwin began groping at him, but he pushed his hands away. "Mike and Hanji will be curious about what we're doing." Levi only realized what he said when it had come out of his mouth. God, he needed some kind of filter.
Erwin seemed to shrink backwards. "About that.." but Levi put a finger to his lips before he could protest.
"It's fine. I understand. Just because I've got nobody I need to come out to doesn't mean I don't know why you wouldn't. Just tell me next time, brat." He could see the relief in his face.
"You know, your pet name never made much sense to me. It always had a certain irony to it, until now that is," he muttered, mostly to himself.
"Right. I have to get dressed now. Don't get sappy on my ass." Levi snapped. "Otherwise I might just do the same on yours."
"I wouldn't mind that terribly," Erwin joked.
"God damn it Erwin, don't you think it's hard enough for me to get ready without me trying to seduce myself?" He stood up, and pushed him off him. "Go on, go make breakfast or something." He walked back to their room, banging his head on the low doorway and swearing loudly as he passed.
"Finally ready?" Hanji asked, poking him in the belly. "Ooh, Erwin, you've been letting yourself go, I think I can feel a molecule of fat in your flawless abs."
"Hey," Mike said, frowning. "I thought my abs were the flawless ones."
"Less flawless." Hanji grinned impishly. She turned back to Erwin. "It's not going to take long, I promise. We just need you to pick what you think Levi would like." They began walking down the hallway and Levi pressed the elevator button. While they were waiting, Hanji cleared her throat awkwardly. "Hey Erwin, Mikey and I were wondering about something."
Levi raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"
Hanji paused a second, staring questioningly at his eyebrow. "I didn't think you could do that. That seems like something that Le-"
Mike elbowed her in the stomach. "She was going to say you reminded us of a friend of ours, Lewis. Right Hanji?"
She nodded through clutching her stomach.
"Right. Anyways, back to the party," he said casually as the elevator dinged, "we were thinking something easy, but also something he'd like. We don't know him too well, so from the options we discuss-"
"Lazer tag." Levi spoke without thinking.
"Really? You didn't seem to think he'd like that."
"I changed my mind." Levi said simply. "So what's the game plan for today? Gifts? Getting a cake?"
"Yeah, kind of. Don't you remember anything?" he asked Erwin, furrowing his brows together. "We're booking a place, and pre-ordering the cake. Maybe picking up gifts if you have some ideas."
"Nah," Levi responded quickly. He'd much rather Erwin bought him his own gift. They stepped out of the elevator into the lobby.
"Alright. Whatever you say, Commander." Hanji said sarcastically. "We just need to figure things out really." She crossed the lobby in about two strides, and held the door open expectantly.
The cold November air seemed to freeze the oxygen in his lungs, and he shivered through his coat. Hanji looked at him a concerned expression. "Hey, you ok Erwin?" Levi looked up at her and forced a smile.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's go."
They'd gotten a large chunk of the work done, they'd booked the entire Lazerquest for Christmas Day, albeit the owner had been reluctant to agree. As per "Erwin's" suggestions, they'd ordered an extravagant seven tier rainbow cake, the kind where each layer was a different colour, and Hanji and Mike had each picked out a gift, though he'd insisted they do it alone because he was bad at keeping secrets.
Just as they were walking out of the shopping mall, Hanji turned to him and cleared her throat seriously. "Erwin? Do you mind if I ask you that question from earlier?" Mike was glaring daggers at her, but she paid him no mind.
"Sure."
"It's about Levi," she said, and he felt his sense of security plummet out of sight. "I mean, we know you said you weren't gay and all, but are you two.. together? Or something? Fuckbuddies?"
He froze dead in his tracks, turning back to stare at them blankly. "I don't really think I'm the right person to ask about that."
"So that's a yes?"
"You'll interpret it as a yes no matter what I say, so it's up to you," he said coldly, walking towards the car.
"Erwin!" she shouted after him. "What's up with you? You seem, just off. Not like yourself." Levi snorted sarcastically. "I mean it!" she yelled at his back, anger creeping into her normally happy sounding voice as she jogged to keep up with him.
"Forget it. I'll take the bus, ok?" he said cooly.
"Look, Erwin." Hanji ran up and grabbed him by the shoulder, but he shook her off. She ignored it, and turned him around anyways. "Levi isn't.. good for you. Not worth your time if you are seeing him. He's cold, and mean, and even a little bit like how you're acting right now."
"I know." The smile he put on now was more of a polite warning he might bite her head off than it was to reassure her. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going home."
Hanji opened her mouth to protest, but Mike put his hand on her shoulder. "Alright Erwin. We'll see you soon, ok? Just think about what Hanji said."
Oh believe me, he thought, I will.