Chapter Text
He didn’t particularly know how to feel about Jung Gun. Before he had a pretty solid idea of the type of guy he was, shady and masochistic— pragmatic and mysterious but ultimately the wrong crowd. He wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt before, in the same way he gave it to Jiho (and in a way, the same way he gave it to himself, the same self that used to be cowardly and unkind because life was that to him.) but when he remembers that whole endeavour, it reminds him why you don’t give out endless trust to people. It’s on the individual to change, not for you to understand their circumstance.
But that doesn’t seem to be the case with Gun at all. There’s more to him, but what? Daniel initially did write him off as a profiteer, just like Charles Choi, someone who gained from the loss and suffering of children. It is quite obvious he enjoys an opulent lifestyle but he’s also about 2 years older than Daniel— he’s a child himself! Reflecting on it, he and Goo were probably one of Charles’ first victims, when he realised how high this went up, they’re probably just a cog in the machine too, it would be presumptuous of him to even assume that they would be kept once they’re no longer more useful than inconvenient and damaging to his brand. Maybe that’s what all this successor talk is related to, what kind of 19 year old talks this much about retirement? Maybe he should talk to Crystal, inquire about his person, she doubts she’ll tell him anything useful and it would likely cause he more trouble than anything—
“Daaaaaniel?” He looks up from the blank notebook page to be greeted by Zoe’s inquiring gaze. Oh dear, he’s thinking about this too much isn’t he. He didn’t even realise class was over.
He gave a hasty smile and shrugged, “Sorry Zo’ just zoned out for a sec.”
“A second? You were glaring at that piece of paper for a good 40 minutes. Class ended a while ago.” Zack interjected, he looked impatient but vaguely concerned. He knows there’s a lot going on right now but they’ve all been pretty good at not letting it interfere with their day to day school hustle. Daniel supposes he’s worried that it’s all too much for him. “Hehe… sorry, just been thinking about stuff. I’m totally fine.” Zack opted to not say anything more, like point out he’s been doing this for most of this week or even prompt him to explain what said “stuff” is. He just gave Daniel a look of acknowledgement. Zack supposes if it wouldn’t work with Johan why would it work with Daniel? The root of the problem will come out eventually. The conversation eventually moved itself, as absentminded teenage conversations do, saving Daniel from being the center of everyone’s thoughts.
They all left the school building together, last to leave (as per usual) and decided to let the night take them to any destination it wished. They haven’t done Karaoke in a while, so why not that? Vasco seemed extremely excited to display his musical talents and Jace couldn’t in good conscience deny him. Daniel exhaled, a sound brought out by the relief of just seeing his friends enjoy themselves (excessively bickering as they were) without any violent interference. Maybe that’s why he felt even worse when his brain refused to just stop and enjoy the moment. His brain was glued on his altercation with Gun at the abandoned school building, James Lee and this second body’s unconscious carnal violence. Reflecting back on it, the first person to unlock said form was Zack… he never needs to fight him again in a situation like that— He can’t risk hurting someone he cares about again. He feels a little disconnected from them though, of course they have their own worries and he doesn’t even intend to minimize them in his mind but… It’s so different to the stuff that’s wracking his brain. It makes him jealous. He wishes he could move on with his life but the more he learns the more he can’t just back out. There’s too much at stake here. God his mind sounds insufferable right now. That’s all he does nowadays. Brood and monologue and wonder and sigh. He’s starting to get bored of himself.
He stretches his back and tries to look more alert and aware of what’s going on. He receives a nudge from Jay. God, when was the last time he and Jay spoke (well, not talked, whatever the hell they did.) Wasn’t Jay supposed to be his best friend? It seems like he hasn’t told him anything truthful recently. Jay gave him a slight smile and tilted his head to the side— He’s asking him “what’s wrong?” Daniel shrugs and reaches his hand over to scratch his neck. He laughs awkwardly as he thinks of what he could say but…
“I’m not sure.. Where do I even start?” Jay sat up in his seat but didn’t make any indication of surprise. Daniel exhaled through his nose, he himself shouldn’t be shocked that Jay knew something was actually up. Doesn’t know why he let him lie to him so much, especially since he didn’t count on himself to lie well. “Just a lot floating through my mind. With the gangs and all.” Jay nodded and motioned to mean “Well maybe you should stay out of that stuff for the time being?” Daniel shrugged, he was sort of proving his point, Jay doesn’t get that he himself is in danger if Daniel doesn’t do something. That even if his friends weren’t, there are people he can help, people just as vulnerable and impressionable and lonely as he was that are suffering at the hands of these organisations. When Daniel didn’t reply, Jay put a hand on his shoulder. He looked at him to say “Hey, if you’re scared, you know you have us right?” Daniel looked onto his friends who were jumping around, buzzing with joy, smelling of soju and each of their own perfumes. He, at that moment realises his main issue. He isn't scared. He just has too much love in his heart. Maybe that’s why he keeps making the same mistakes over and over again. Maybe that’s why this thought about Gun won’t leave his brain alone.
He gets up from his seat and gives Jay a boyish grin. “Let’s sing a duet together. We shouldn’t sit here wallowing.” Jay shrugged in a way to remind him he couldn’t really sing. Daniel nodded vigorously and then laughed, “It’s fine, it’s fine. Just come up to support me.” Jay looked concerned, he pointed out that Daniel was running away from the central issue here, by pretending things were okay. “I’m not pretending, Jay. What I’m worried about isn’t worth moping on. Plus I’ve already found a way to fix my problems. Sort of. Just let me figure it out on my own, okay? I promise I won’t hide anything anymore.” Jay seemed to be unsure, but accepting of the fact that Daniel probably won’t budge, he resigned to just accepting the boy’s requisition and nodded, apprehensively. Daniel’s smile returned and he pulled Jay up from the dingy sofa and went to join the rest of his friends. Him and Jay sang their duet (there was no singing on Jay’s part but he did make sure to hype the crowd, said crowd being Mira, Zack, Zoe, Jace and Vasco) and Daniel found himself relaxing a bit. It’s okay to have fun, infact, he completely deserves it. He’ll take every chance he gets to enjoy life now. He took so much for granted back when he first got his body. He’s not gonna let what ifs and anxieties control his decisions— not in the same wasteful way he did before. And to contrast that, he’ll take every chance, every risk with everyone he meets. He was closing himself off, assuming and letting others thoughts take over his own and making his decisions from there. He did everything to protect his friends, but realistically he’s the main thing that puts them in danger, he supposes he should take more accountability for that. He can’t let another situation end like Jiho’s, with a lack of understanding of himself and his friend.
That’s probably how he ended up in this situation.
As much as this man’s interferences affect his own life, he rarely will see Gun (or Goo) without straying into business that shouldn’t involve him (but definitely does) or in relation to the 4 Gangs. So seeing him carry an older lady’s bags as she chatters and chatters away, no sunglasses to cover his dark eyes, slight smile set in place— Daniel almost didn’t recognise him. He didn’t mean to be nosy, honest! He just couldn’t stop himself from trailing them once Gun’s figure caught his eye. The thought of it made him a bit red, he was undoubtedly entranced by the taller, wilder man (as much as he resents to admit it, for his own shame and dignity). It was a busy, bustling Friday evening and he had gotten separated from the rest of the group and decided to message the group chat he was just gonna go home. Everyone expressed their annoyance as for some reason that meant they all had to go home too, Daniel knew they wouldn’t wanna keep having fun without him, but he encouraged them to stay out and have fun anyways. He had decided to take a walk and clear his head before returning to his home (and to his smaller body). He wanted to believe that this must have been a test, that Gun wouldn’t let his guard down like this and that none of this was chance. But the more he followed, the more he realised that it wasn’t.
He supposes that if he was more methodical and unsentimental, he would use whatever information about this woman to get more of what he wanted from Gun. He already got the black badge from him (it did help him quite a bit, despite Gun barely explaining what he could and couldn't do with it). What else could he get from someone who has no ties, lives a clean slate despite being involved in all sorts of shady wrong doings and apparently no family? Daniel frowned at his thought process. Was Gun’s thought process contagious or something? This is the same nonsense he would probably say.
He maintained a great deal of distance from himself and the two, he wasn’t going to let his lack of spatial awareness get the best of him this time (although he did bump into two people whilst following them). He watched as they entered a supermarket, did groceries, bought snacks from food stalls and then finally arrived at a home that was surprisingly close to Daniel’s own shitty abode. He watched as Gun gave the kind-eyed lady a hastey embrace, then checked his phone and swiftly made his way to his destination, probably to some car he had secretly parked somewhere to get around quickly. Even after Gun left, the woman hadn’t entered her home yet, she was shuffling around with her keys, hands shaking and struggling to open her door. Daniel knows he shouldn’t butㅡ
“Um,” he begins to close the distance,” Miss, would you mind if I gave you a hand?” She looked up at him and squinted, and then gave him a cute smile. “Oh I would love that dear. Not sure why today of all days I can’t even get my door open.” She was smiling, but her voice was wobbly, almost as if she was about to cry. A surge of rage infested his body, did he misinterpret the situation? Was Gun doing something horrible to this woman? God, he’s so stupid, so trusting (of what? He doesn’t even know him!) that he didn’t even think of that as a possibility. “Oh that stupid boy…” Daniel is snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of the woman’s mumbles, “What does he mean he can’t stay for dinner? What a way to treat Grandma..” Daniel’s eyebrows shot up. “You’re Gun’s grandmother?” The lady was considerably older than him and Gun, but she in no way looked geriatric. She still looked younger than Daniel’s mother. The woman brightened up. “You’re friends with my baby? Oh how lovely.. I always worry about him, he’s always on his own, that one, likes having no friends, he says,” She looks up at Daniel sharply, in a way that makes her look younger, “What a load of crap! Nobody likes having no friends. I know that boy is afraid of being alone.” She smiles widely at Daniel. “You look like such a kind boy, and your uniform… J-High… Oh! That’s quite the nice school is it not? You look like you work hard, it’s good that you’re friends with my boy.” She’s assumed quite a bit about Daniel, but her sense of elation and her happiness is impossible to conscientiously put a damper on, he’s forced to go along with itㅡ he totally isn’t trying to snoop about Gun in the process.
“Y-yes. I’m friends with Gun. He’s really smart, you know?” She claps her hand excitedly. She chatters away about how Daniel should join her for dinner, what she’s cooking and how Gun always finds a way to bail on their dinner plans. Daniel opens the door to her home and helps her with her bags, he insists on helping her with the cooking and despite her initial protests, she accepts his help. She then goes on to compare him to Gun, remarking that he has such a bad attitude and would never do something as kind as help out with dinner. Daniel takes the opportunity to ask questions.
“You know, aunty, you look quite young to be a grandmother.” She laughs heartily. “Well I’m only 53! Had a child very young and said child took after her stupid mother!” She laughed even more, like it was a painful memory but she still loved to think about it anyways. “My Jung Gun may as well be my son, seeming as his beautiful mother passed and left me to raise him.” She sighed dreamily. “I wonder what he would be like if she was still around. I’d hope that he’d come visit more.” She looks over at Daniel and grins once more. “Ah, let’s not dwell on it. It’s too sad.” It was too sad, Daniel thought. He supposed that in his head he had filled in Gun’s profile as some elusive orphan who was raised to be Charles Choi’s minion from his birth.. Which is the most idiotic thing ever. But he supposes in the moment it was easier to dehumanise him than to give the decency of a family. “It’s okay,” Daniel says “We can change the subject.” Her smile becomes more controlled and genuine as she talks and talks about Gun, his little quirks, the things he likes, embarrassing stories about him as a child and his favourite things to eat. Before long, Daniel had forgotten why he was even there and started to give his own thoughts on Gun (“He takes himself very seriously..” His grandmother, (he’s now learnt her name was So-won, but he feels rude calling her by her name, so he’ll continue to call her aunty) rolled her head back in laughter at Daniel’s comment. “I’ve been saying this! He needs to loosen up, that boy”).
“You know, he takes care of me so well, as much as I tell him off.” Daniel stopped eating and looked up at Aunty. “He’s so patient with me, and he even offered to move me out of this dingy little place. But I’m so attached.. I suppose it’s to do with me being old. I try to protest but if he had it his way he’d pay for everything for me. You should see what he gets me as gifts! Who would bother to spend that much on their stupid grandmother.” She tilts her head— Gosh, Gun does resemble her, Daniel thinks, they have such similar mannerisms. “What I’m trying to say, with this silly tangent of mine, is that he seems cold, but that’s how he copes. He’s a kind boy at his core, honestly. I haven't met a lot of friends of his, but since he was young he didn’t like me to meet them. Said they were fleeting like birds, always left him behind.” She looked at Daniel with a lot of resolve. “I’m asking you not to leave my boy behind.”
Daniel gulps.
He feels so bad for what he’s about to say. He doesn’t even know Gun like that (at least not yet, he knows they’ll encounter each other a lot in the future.) He knows he’s capable of a lot of cruelty, but just like Oli Wang, just like Jiho, just like himself, he has someone who loves him. Loves him despite his flaws. Isn’t that the first step to changing, to improving your own evil, cruel, disgusting self? Isn’t it love? “I won’t leave him behind. I promise.” It’s such a bad thing to promise, but he’ll stick to it. He needs to see things through with Gun till the very end, he smiles a little to himself, he’s too invested now. Aunty thanks him and continues to talk about other things, but Gun and not-Gun related, but compelling to listen to nonetheless.
The food was warm and Daniel’s heart and stomach felt warm and full too. He had decided he overstayed his welcome and stood up to thank her and take his leave but she got up before him, beaming. “Oh I know it’s getting late, but Gun told me he could make it, stay a while longer won’t you?” “HUH?” She nods excitedly “Yes, I told him he had a friend over, and he said he’s gonna come as soon as he can! Here, help me fill his plate.” Daniel was fucked. He couldn’t just run out of here, seeming as he lived nearby and he knew he would run into her again but he also couldn’t run into Gun. Not here, he’s definitely stepped into the wrong territory, into something that would have him hate Gun forever if he tried to manipulate him doing the same thing. Maybe he could say he changed his mind but it would be a lie if he said he didn’t do it to know at least a little more about him. Daniel’s brain was vibrating and he was looking around frantically.
He’s fucked. The jingle of keys and the twisting of the door knob made him jump. Shit.. he looks over at Aunty who’s pouring Gun a cup of coffee and humming absentmindedly. God, there’s no way out, is there? Before he could even muster another thought, the door is busted open and Jung Gun is standing there, in the flesh...
He looks odd, like this.
Daniel barely recognised him when he saw him from afar, but he definitely doesn’t understand why he looks so different, wearing casual clothing from a popular but not particularly expensive brand. His eyes aren’t dark or covered with shades, just like when he saw him previously, but something else about is different, his face looks relaxed, like he couldn’t possibly be doing anymore than working a 9 to 5 or studying at university. He looked so.. Normal. It was so odd.
He takes a moment to assess the situation with his eyes, he looks over at his grandmother, who’s grinning to her ears and beckoning him to come sit down. She doesn’t even let him get a word in when she drags him over to the dining table as she talks about her meeting with Daniel, how kind he is for helping her, how it’s good that he’s hanging out with such a nice boy. Daniel can’t help it, as Gun looks over at him, expression unreadable as she talks, he feels insanely guilty. Is he going to say he’s not really friends with Daniel? That he doesn’t really know him? That would be the truth. He’d also use this as an opportunity to fight him, something the younger man did not need right now. He also just felt bad for lying to such a kind woman.
“Mmm,” Gun starts, and then he smiles and tilts his head, “Daniel is a very nice boy. I’m glad I met him too.” Daniel splutters, which turns Gun’s smile into a grin, which he hides by holding his coffee cup to his mouth. “Don’t keep the kid hostage Gran.. Let him go home, he has homework to do.” Gun’s grandmother reacts like she had just remembered the concept of school and profusely apologizes to Daniel, who in turn profusely rejects her apologies. He’s just relieved that he can finally leave and end this whole situation, it was starting to make him tense, as lovely as dinner with aunty was.
But of course, there’s no way it could possibly be this simple.
The moment he left her house, Gun followed suit. He didn’t say anything, at first. He was going to let Gun speak, he was too… afraid? Nervous? To say anything. But then Gun didn’t say anything and he decided he wasn’t going to leave in silence. Not this time.
“You…” He started and turned to look at Gun properly. He didn’t look angry or mischievous. He looked like he was waiting, maybe for an explanation of sorts. But it was patient, not in a way to initiate a fight. “You’re not a bad person. Not entirely. I think you might be good, at your core.. Under everything.” Gun raised his eyebrows, almost to be like ‘Is that all you took from that?’ Daniel continues. “I.. don’t fully know why I followed you— actually, that’s a lie. I was curious as to what you were doing. I didn’t assume it was bad at first and then I did, and then I didn’t.” Daniel breathes out and Gun is beginning to look amused, alas, he continues, “I hope you don’t think I was going to use her against you. I’m not that type of person. I don’t think you are either. Even though you’re always threatening me with my friends. After today I think you were messing with my mind and bluffing.” Daniel feels like he should stop talking, but he needs to get this off his chest. “And I’m sorry. What I did was wrong. You can tell your grandma that I lied and that I’m sorry if you want. And thank you for saving me the embarrassment.” Gun finally made a noise, he snorted out of his nose. “You're welcome.” Gun leans on the door frame and shakes his head. “You read too much into things, of course she’d only have nice things to say about me— she’s my grandma, you think she really even knows who I am?” Daniel shakes his head, a little forcefully but it makes Gun stop talking and return back to that unreadable, but vaguely amused expression from before. “No. you’re trying to scare me off and think you’re a bad guy. She does know you. I believe her more than I believe you anyways. At least when it comes to who you are.”
Gun laughed, it was a surprised, exasperated laugh and put his hands on his hips. “Okay then. Do you really think I was in danger of exposing any weakness I had? Do you think I didn’t know you were following me from the start? You think there aren’t cameras in her home so I can see what’s going on at all times?” Gun pulls out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and takes one out to light it. “I was never vulnerable, I was a little surprised about how ballsy you could be, but you never at any point had the upper hand.” Daniel nods. “I know this. Someone like you having this big of a weakness makes no sense. I knew that you had to know I was there the moment I stepped in. I did think I followed you a bit better but I’m not good at that sort of stuff.” Gun blew out a puff of smoke and looked head on at Daniel. “But..?” “You can’t fabricate and control everything. And you would have killed me if you thought I was going to hurt her. You wanted to let her believe you had a friend because it would make her happy.” Daniel essentially realised this as he was saying it, but Gun didn’t know that and gave him a look. “You did have the upper hand, but you still let your guard down. Maybe not for me but for her.” Daniel paused before continuing. “You’re not bad at all. You’re not going to convince me otherwise.”
Gun was a little taken aback by Daniel’s resolve and sneered in reply. “God. I had so much faith in you but by the way you talk you’re just an idiot who wants to get himself killed. In the name of ‘love and friendship’, too.” Daniel shrugged. “Maybe. Your words might be correct but you’re only saying that because you want to make me angry. You’re just upset that I see right through you.” Gun scoffed. “If I wanted to make you angry I’d mention your precious group.. How’s that Hong kid, by the way?” Daniel shrugged, again. “Fine, probably. In his bed sleeping. Before I would get defensive at you mentioning them.. But you’re not going to do anything. Just like how I’m not going to do anything to Aunty.” Gun let out an agitated noise and dropped his cigarette to the ground to stub it out with his foot. Daniel felt a bit accomplished at Gun’s reaction, he’d cracked his code in a sense. There’s a humane feeling part of him, a part that gets exasperated and frustrated and doesn’t know how to strike back. There’s some of that in every person, so he doesn’t fault him or view him as any weaker or less dangerous. Just more.. human.
“Alright,” He said, “Die on this hill. I don’t care either way.” He stopped and cracked his neck letting out a quiet groan. “Just make sure you destroy those gangs for me, ‘best friend’.” Gun added on the last bit with a smirk. Daniel sees this as Gun going back to the character he plays, the face he puts up dealing with everything else, so he simply matched his energy. “Of course, by any means necessary, I’m assuming?” Gun raised one eyebrow, “You willing to do that?” Daniel laughed. “Yeah. Think it’s the one thing we’ve been on the same page on this whole time.” Gun waves his hand in a dismissive gesture “Yeah, yeah. I shouldn’t underestimate you or whatever. Now get lost, you’ve overstayed your welcome.” Daniel thinks for a moment, this can’t end here.
“One last thing,” He remembered what Aunty had told him and the promise he made. “That thing you said, in the abandoned school building…” Gun grins “Yeah.. thanks for that,” he shows his arm in a cast, something Daniel surprisingly didn’t notice till now “Haven’t fought that hard since… honestly ever.” Daniel thinks for a moment longer, is he really going to do this? And then he remembers his promise (again)... Ugh.. “Well. If you want to, I can do that again. Fight you like that when you wish. On one condition.” Gun looked… well excited, which annoyed Daniel to no end. “Oh fuck yeah.. Anything is worth that experience again.. You want money? Want me to buy you nice clothes? Jewelry?” Daniel blushes and makes a hurried remark about how he’s not a sugar baby or a prostitute, which makes Gun laugh wolfishly.
“I want to…” Daniel has abandoned all shame at this point, not even caring that he sounds desperate (and extremely crazy), “I want to be your friend.”