Chapter Text
“Congratulations again!” Jimin tries to muster some enthusiasm in his voice as he utters his best wishes to Yoongi, all the while his heart shattering into bits and pieces.
Afterall, Yoongi, the man Jimin was in love with, was going to propose to his twin brother.
At least, now, he tells himself he can finally, finally let go.
He gestures to the venue behind him. “I hope Jihyun will like it.”
He hopes his voice doesn’t betray his heartbreak.
Yoongi is too distracted to notice.
For a naive, pathetic and truly idiotic moment, he imagined himself wearing the ring Yoongi had picked out.
When Yoongi asked him to choose it with him, the words felt like a noose around his neck, his entire mouth was full of sand. There was no way he could say no without betraying his feelings, so he had gone along.
The moment Yoongi had slipped it over his finger, it’s like everything in his dreams had come true.
And when Yoongi had asked him whether the ring would fit Jihyun, reality crashed.
Yoongi was proposing to Jihyun, not to him, ever.
“I’m sure he’ll love it.” Yoongi answers genuinely as they step out of the mini theater they’d just finished decorating. “It’s the ring you chose afterall.”
He tries for a smile.
He wonders about that.
Although everything about them were almost the same, their facial features, their voice, their physical build, Jimin and Jihyun had always been different; be it personality, style or interests.
Everything but their taste in men.
Jihyun was gentle and tender, nurturing and sensitive, quiet and collected, things Jimin weren’t.
Together, Yoongi and Jihyun were picture perfect, the ideal couple written in every romantic storybook.
It’s no wonder why Yoongi chose Jihyun over him.
To be so, so close to being the man Yoongi wanted only to have it be someone who looked exactly like him and that reality hurt so much more.
“You look undeniably like euphoria itself.” Jimin steps out onto the street, needing some space, some air before it feels like he’ll suffocate. “I’m happy for you, hyung.”
“I am happy.” Yoongi smiles that gummy smile Jimin had always loved. “I feel like I have everything I need in life.”
And Yoongi is right.
He had friends so close, he calls them family, he was about to get engaged to the love of his life and his job was going great. Jimin remembers the moment Yoongi had received the call from his boss, letting him know he was about to produce a song with a famous recording label, the older had been yelling about it like a maniac.
“I know I don’t have to say this but I’ll say it again for Jihyunie’s sake.” Jimin plays the good brother figure either way. “I trust that you will cherish Hyun and please make him happy, hyung.”
Because Jihyun did deserve someone like Yoongi.
Jihyun had always been so kind and lovely, Yoongi deserved someone like that in his life.
And that had almost ruined him.
To have all of Yoongi’s love and adoration just by being himself.
Jimin wanted it but no matter how much he yearned and desired for it, it wasn’t his for the taking.
It belonged solely to Jihyun.
Yoongi looks up at him, contentment and the jubilation radiating off of him. “I promise you, Min-ah. I’ll cherish him forever.”
That’s too much.
The nickname and the gentle tone, paired with the way Yoongi looked at him, was too much.
“I have to go, promised Chanyeol hyung I’d meet him for dinner.” He utters as an excuse, needing to escape, to get away from all of this.
“Again?” Yoongi finally turns his attention away from the ring and finally placing it back in his pocket, allowing Jimin that breath he needed so badly. “Is there something between you two?”
If only it’d be that easy to get over Yoongi.
“I don’t know,” he says nonchalantly.
Yoongi wraps a hand around his wrist, deterring Jimin’s escape.
The warmth of Yoongi’s touch travels up his spine and Jimin melts.
It was unfair how a mere touch could reduce him to nothing.
“I don’t think he’s a good idea, Jimin-ah. I’ve heard the things Jihyun and the other models say about him.” Yoongi sounds so serious, it’s hard for Jimin to pretend to be nonchalant.
He doesn’t either but Chanyeol is an easy distraction from Yoongi. They’re so different from each other, it’s easy to forget about Yoongi for a while.
“We can talk about that later, hyungie.” He needs to get away. “I really do have to go.”
As if someone was listening to his desperate pleas, his phone rings.
Grabbing at it like a drowning man, a rope, he gestures to his phone and mouths a quick goodbye in Yoongi’s direction before walking off.
Speaking of the devil, he appears, not literally but close enough.
“Hey Min.” Chanyeol’s voice forces him to put his thoughts of Yoongi aside. “I’m going to be late, the shoot just ended.”
With a sigh, he turns and heads to the cafe.
He expected this.
It was Chanyeol afterall, his shoots never ended when he said they would.
“Fine.” He grumbles. “You’re paying for dinner later.”
Chanyeol’s familiar chuckle reaches him through the phone. “Anything for you, Min.”
“I’ll just wait at—”
There’s a colossal force that shoves him to the hard ground, Yoongi’s panicked yell, a loud screech and then there’s not much after that.
Just darkness and a lot of muffled screaming.
And then nothing.
He wakes up to a strange but familiar beeping.
The muted chatter and the white noise of people moving around him is enough for him to realize he’s no longer outside the theatre.
If it’s not enough, the white sheets and the telltale gown he dons tells him exactly where he is, the hospital.
He can’t piece together anything from the accident but he guesses it was probably a car crash.
He winces when pain sears through the back of his head. He stays frozen still until the pain subsides to a more bearable throbbing.
Gently, he touches his head, wrapped in bandages, all the while his entire body protesting.
His hair brushes against his hand and truly shallow relief courses through him. At least he’d still have his hair when he was forced to watch Yoongi’s proposal.
Yoongi.
Yoongi was with him in the accident.
He jerks to his feet, clenching his teeth as the nausea reaches his throat.
Once his world stops spinning, he yanks the IV drip from his arm, and gets to his feet to locate Yoongi.
The nurse outside his room seizes him gently but firmly by the arm.
“You’re not allowed to be moving.” She admonishes him after checking the clipboard in her hand once more. “Mr. Park Jimin-ssi, you have a concussion and—”
He doesn’t care to be hearing about the rest of it at the moment.
“What about Yoongi hyung? Min Yoongi?” His throat felt dry, his tongue heavy in his mouth but he kept talking. He needed to know if Yoongi was okay. “He- He was there. He was with me. Is he hurt? Is he okay?” He twists his arm out of the nurse’s grip, knowing he was on the verge of rambling as he panics. “He has black hair, the same height as me. He’s family. I can’t lose him.”
Maybe it’s the wild look in his eyes or the worry in his voice, the nurse gives in with a sigh “The man who was admitted with you is in room 1306.”
“Thank you.” He’s on his way hearing those words, his mind already conjuring the worst scenarios.
Heading to room 1306 seems to take forever.
When he’s standing in front of Yoongi, or more exactly, Yoongi who is laying on the bed, unmoving, he stumbles to the bed, knees suddenly weak.
Yoongi is just laying there, head covered with bandages.
He’s dressed in the same hospital gown Jimin dons.
Yoongi looks even paler than usual, a sickly hue that covers him instead of the usual pale glow.
Just as he’s about to fall over, the nurse who’d followed him, steadies him by the shoulders.
“It’d be wise not to move him.” The nurse’s voice is soft but grim as she tells him about Yoongi’s situation. “He’s broken his arm and cracked a few ribs.”
So far, it doesn’t sound too bad.
A few broken bones is nothing much in comparison.
But he sees the bandages that wrap around Yoongi’s eyes and he dreads the rest of the news.
“Doctor Kim will be with you in a little bit to explain the rest of the situation.” As if trying to soften the blow, the nurse has a doctor come in and explain the rest of Yoongi’s condition to him.
Doctor Kim is all smiles as he greets him.
He repeats what the nurse had already told him. The medical jargon goes over his head, all he hears is that Yoongi is fine.
But it’s the rest of the news that hit hard.
Everything will heal but not his eyes.
“Due to corneal abrasion from the crash, a corneal transplant will be needed.” Doctor Kim’s expression is foreboding. “We’re hoping for a donor.”
That Jimin understands.
It means that right now, Yoongi can’t see.
And by the look on Doctor Kim’s face, it may last for a while too.
He can hear his pulse drumming in his ears, entire body suddenly drenched in cold sweat.
He felt so utterly powerless.
Yoongi can’t see and there was nothing he could do.
He grabs ahold of the bed, needing something to keep him standing now that the nurse had retreated.
He doesn’t know how to react.
The tears surface but he doesn’t cry.
Not yet, he needs to deal with all this first.
He needs to call Jihyun, Yoongi’s parents and everyone else.
Later, he’ll cry later.
“Jimin-ah.”
Jimin’s head shot up at the sound of Namjoon’s voice.
He straightens himself out of the plastic hospital chair Doctor Kim had arranged for him when Jimin had refused to leave, refused to let go of Yoongi’s hand.
The police had interviewed him there as well.
Numbly, he’d tried to answer the questions the police tried to probe out of him but he knew nothing.
He didn’t even really know what happened.
Instead, they had to tell him what happened.
A drunk driver had steered his car onto the pedestrian walk.
Based on what the witnesses had said, Yoongi had protected him, covering him before the car had hit them.
Meaning, it was all Jimin’s fault.
Namjoon looked utterly worn out, the worry coming off him in waves.
“Namjoon hyung, it was all because of me.” It’s then, does it finally feel like he can cry. “He’s— They say Yoongi hyung…” He hiccups, the sobs wracking his body. “The doctor says the glass cut his cornea and the chance for a donor is low—”
He falls into Namjoon’s warm shoulders.
Everything he needed to tell Namjoon is a jumbled mess, garbled and unclear as the older pulls him close.
He cries into Namjoon’s shoulder, seeking comfort from the older man in front of him.
Everything would be okay now.
And Namjoon sees to it.
He deals with the doctors, he deals with the insurance company, he deals with calling the rest of their friends.
Aside from Namjoon, Jihyun is the first to arrive.
Jimin’s twin brother arrives, sweating and panting as he slides the door open, banging it loudly against the wall.
“How is he?” Jihyun comes to a stop, eyes running over Yoongi’s form before he looks to the two of them. “Minnie made it sound so bad, when he said Yoongi saved him from the car crash, I was— Wait, Jimin, you’re hurt too. You didn’t tell me that over the phone. Are you okay? What happened? How—”
“You two Park brothers are truly twins.” Namjoon says kindly, pulling over another chair for Jihyun to rest in. “Once you start rambling, no one else can get a word in.”
Jihyun smiles sheepishly. “Just worried.”
“We know, Hyun.” Namjoon smiles back. “They’re both fine. Jimin has a concussion from banging his head on the ground and just a few scratches.”
“What about Yoongi?”
This question had been the one Jimin had been dreading.
The entire time, Jimin’s thoughts had been swirling with dread and apprehension.
“Overall, he’s okay, just a few broken bones here and there.” Namjoon keeps his voice light as he talks about Yoongi’s injuries. Purposefully lightening the seriousness of Yoongi’s injuries. “Nothing permanent.”
Jihyun breathes out a sigh in relief. “As long as he’s alive and with me, I really don’t ask for anything else.”
“The most serious issue is his eye. Because of some optic nerve damage and scratched cornea, the doctor mentioned that he will be needing a donor for his cornea to be replaced.” Namjoon continues softly. “The blindness will be temporary, meaning he can still see, but it’s just a blur for—”
“Blindness? That can’t be true.” Jihyun gets to his feet, chair crashing loudly behind him. “Yoongi can’t see?”
“As I said, it’s just temporary.” Namjoon moves to comfort Jihyun but the other man steps back, dodging out of Namjoon’s touch.
“He’s blind.”
Jimin had numbly followed the conversation the moment Jihyun arrived but now he needed to say something, to do something to reassure his brother.
His mouth opens but nothing comes out.
“The doctors say that—”
Jihyun doesn’t let Namjoon finish before he rushes out of the room.
“Jimin, will you be okay on your own?” Namjoon asks, eyes darting to look between him and where Jihyun had disappeared from view.
There’s nothing he could contribute to to help the situation, might as well have Namjoon take care of Jihyun in his place.
“Yes, please talk to Hyun.” Jimin grips onto the bottom of his shirt. “I’m probably the last person he’ll want to talk to right now.”
“That’s not true, Jimin-ah.”
That was just Namjoon being nice.
“I’ll call you when Yoongi hyung wakes up.” Jimin tries for a smile, hoping it’s enough to lessen Namjoon’s worries for now.
His friend nods and chases after Jihyun.
Left on his own, Jimin’s anxiety spirals. His guilt threatens to consume him.
If it wasn’t because of him, Yoongi would be fine.
Jimin buries his face in his hands and sobs.
Yoongi had to be okay. He was always so strong, like a safe place for Jimin to go to.
But now, seeing Yoongi lie there in front of him, he’s terrified of what Yoongi will say once he wakes up.
Rationally, he knows Yoongi would never blame him but the uneasiness crawls up his spine, making it hard to breathe as it wraps itself around his throat.
“Jimin-ah?” Yoongi’s voice is scratchy when he utters those words.
“I’m here, hyung. I’m here.” Jimin instantly grabs the hand Yoongi lifts in his direction. “Are you okay? How are you feeling?”
“I feel as if I got hit by a truck, or in our case, a car.” Yoongi manages a low chuckle. He makes a move to touch his eyes but Jimin grabs both his hands to stop him. “But are you okay? You’re crying.”
The tears surface again and his vision blurs.
“I’m okay, hyung.” He tries to keep his voice level but it cracks. “You’re the one who got hurt protecting me from the car crash. The doctor said you will have to stay here for at least a few days and rest until everything heals.”
“How long have I been out?”
“Just a few hours.”
“Can I at least take the bandages off my eyes?” Yoongi’s voice is seemingly calm but he hears the waver. The older’s hands twitch in Jimin’s grip. “It’d be more convincing if I could see you for myself. You know how you are, you always lie about yourself when you’re scared it makes us worry.”
“No!” Jimin cries a little too loudly when Yoongi pulls his hands out of Jimin’s hold to his eyes. “You can’t.”
At that, Yoongi stills. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“I-I’ll call the doctor, hyung.” Jimin needs to get away before he breaks.
Yoongi’s hands circle his wrist once again.
“Jimin-ah.” His name is uttered like a plea but Jimin can’t, he doesn’t have the courage to face this.
He pushes the button above Yoongi’s head anyways.
“Doctor Kim will tell you, he’s good at explaining stuff so even people like me would understand.” Jimin pulls away completely, blabbering so Yoongi doesn’t have a chance to speak. “You know I’ve never been good with medical stuff. When he was talking about my concussion, I didn’t even understand until Namjoon hyung came.”
Doctor Kim arrives, just catching the end of Jimin’s rambling.
“Hello Mr. Park-ssi.” The doctor greets him with a warm smile, before focusing his attention on Yoongi. “Hello Mr. Min-ssi.”
Jimin quickly clears his throat. “I’ll look for Jihyun and Namjoon hyung while you guys talk because god knows I’m not responsible enough for this.”
“Jimin—”
He ignores Yoongi who calls out for him and rushes out of the door.
He can’t be there for the moment when Yoongi realizes it’s all his fault.
He runs into Namjoon just as he turns the corner.
There’s conflict wavering in Namjoon’s gaze as he looks at him.
And Jimin is terrified of what that means.
Jimin hides his hands under his sleeves, keeping from reaching out to Namjoon.
“Where is Hyun?” He asks. “How did he take the news?”
Namjoon sighs, guiding him to the nearby plastic seats.
“He didn’t take it well.” His friend says after a while. “I told him what Doctor Kim told us, I don’t know if he heard any of it but he just… He needs a little time.”
“It’s okay,” he says, not knowing who he was saying it for. “Can you… Can you look after Yoongi hyung for me?”
He also needs time but what more, is that he’s terrified of how Yoongi will react.
Namjoon squeezes his arm, a small gesture of comfort.
He tries for a smile but it probably falls flat.
“Got it.” Namjoon shoots him a dimpled smile in an effort to ease his worries. “I’ll walk you back to your room first.”
Jimin shakes his head. “I want to check on hyung one more time first.”
Namjoon nods understandingly. “Alright, but you have to take a rest yourself as well, Jimin. You’ve been by hyung’s side the entire time, your injuries need time to heal as well.”
“I will, Joonie hyung, I promise. I just need to see Yoongi hyung.”
One last time.
The journey back to Yoongi’s room is quiet. Namjoon politely giving him the time to organize his thoughts.
Jimin’s pace becomes jerky, ricocheting between dread and impatience.
He wants to see Yoongi but he’s a coward, terrified of how Yoongi will react to him when he comes back.
Namjoon comes to a stop in front of the room, the low tones of other voices trickling from Yoongi’s room.
“Everything will be alright.” Namjoon gives him another comforting squeeze, this time on the shoulder.
He nods mutely.
He wonders if Namjoon is right this time.
Because of this one thing, he’d taken something so, so precious from Yoongi.
It would be a wonder if Yoongi didn’t hate him after this.
The door slides open and he sees their group of friends surrounding Yoongi’s bed.
Taehyung is the first to notice them, eyes blown wide as he rushes towards him. “Jimin-ah, are you okay?”
From his spot, he sees Yoongi instinctively turn his head to his direction.
Before he can answer, Taehyung is wrapping him in a hug, gently tugging him close.
He’s just a step from Yoongi’s bed.
The rest of the group converges, worry overlapping each other as they look over his bandages.
In the middle of the chatter and worried hands, he’s pressed into the chair beside Yoongi’s bed.
“H-hyung.” He barely manages to utter out. “Are we… Are you okay?”
Yoongi doesn’t speak nor does he stretch out a hand in his direction.
The silence is enough of an answer for Jimin to understand.
The tears surface again before he can contain them.
He winces when the nails dig into his palm, drawing blood.
“I don’t feel like talking right now.” Yoongi’s words are curt and to the point.
The ice in Yoongi’s voice freezes the blood in Jimin’s body.
Taehyung’s gasp is the only thing that breaks the awkward silence.
Detachedly, he wonders when everyone else had stopped talking.
He wants to flee.
He needs to get away.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers the words wetly, the guilt choking the words from his throat. “I’m sorry. It should have been me. I—”
He sees a flash of complete guilt and horror pass over Yoongi’s features before someone’s arms are around him, his face is pressed into someone’s chest, muffling the rest of his apology, as he’s tugged from the room.
He clenches his fingers around his friend’s shirt, just needing something to keep him upright.
“Jimin, please.” It’s Hoseok. “Please don’t say that. No one deserves that. Yoongi hyung’s emotions are a mess now, he doesn’t blame you for anything. This is not your fault.”
He knows Hoseok is trying to comfort him but he finds it hard to believe at the moment.
Hoseok continues whispering gentle nothings to him but they barely register.
Numbly, he doesn’t resist, allowing Hoseok to guide him back to his own room.
Right now, he doesn’t think he can stand it if Yoongi addressed him in that cold tone once again. Even when they’d been fighting, Yoongi had never spoken to him like that.
Which just means one thing, Yoongi blamed him for this.