Work Text:
Dazai POV
I love isn't in anyway easy nor is trying to hide who you are from others, you will have to pay your debts no matter what because love comes with a price.
I learnt that the hard path and my love didn't end the way I would ever want it to.
5 years ago ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Chuuya wait up your too fast for me!" I pouted as Chuuya was zooming up ahead of me.
"Hurry up then slow couch or we'll be late" he replied not slowly down in any way.
"Hmph fine"
I tried to pick up the pace a little but no matter how much I sped up I could not be fast enough to run beside him.
Eventually after what felt like the millionth attempt I caught up to him and took his hand.
"How can you be so fast with those short legs of yours?" I asked, turning him around to look him in the eyes.
"Oh shut up and keep moving!" he replied speeding up again dragging me behind him.
We eventually came to the dark gloomy place we called our base.
There was nothing exciting about working for this silly company but as long as I had Chuuya by my side it became a little more bearable.
After we stopped panting from running so far we headed in the big double doors to attend to an apparently important meeting that happens every month or so.
As we were walking along the long corridor I realised that we were still holding hands.
We've got so used to doing it lately seeing we have been off for a few weeks on a once a year holiday.
I gently nudged Chuuya's hand reminding him about it.
He let go with a sad sigh.
"I'm sorry Chibi but we can't because-"
"It's too risky I know" he said letting out another big sigh.
This made me feel guilty but it was for the best, who knows what they would do if we found out we were in a relationship.
We eventually entered a large door at the very end of the corridor.
Mori san was sitting at with his hands clasped together as if he was some sort of important manager, which he was but I didn't really believe that.
"Your one minute late boys" he said, his voice echoing loudly across the room causing everyone to turn around.
I was about to protest but before I got the chance he signaled us to sit on our plotted seats.
Chuuya was luckily facing me so I could stare at his beautiful features instead of listening to another boring talk.
Mori started off by making sure everyone was here and informed of why some people were absent.
This is like school all over again!
I was on the edge of falling asleep when I felt someone staring at me.
I was Chuuya.
"Hey you stole my idea" I mouthed trying to look annoyed at the same time.
He smiled one of his devilish smiles
and I could feel my face heat up so I turned away for a second.
Mori was still blabbering on about boring stuff so we continued to stare at each other, examining every inch of our partners faces.
Unfortunately our peaceful time was cut short by Mori calling our names.
"Chuuya and Dazai are you guys even listening?" he asked looking very unamused.
"Yes we are sir don't worry" he replied sounding pretty convincing.
Luckily Mori bought it and carried on with his talk.
I was surprised he did but Chuuya did sound like he was telling the truth.
"Thanks" I mouthed to the ginger who was looking a little shocked that Mori bought it as well.
"Your welcome" he mouthed back this time giving me a cute little smile.
10 minutes later ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finally Mori had finished his long and boring speech so we were headed to are separate apartments back the way we came from.
We were walking so quietly down the corridor it was getting boring so I decided it was my turn to break the silence.
"Chuuya" I said shyly.
"Yeah what's up?"
I slipped my hand into one of his and clasped them together.
He looked at me confused with a light blush on his face.
"D-Dazai I thought"
"Don't worry Chibi no ones looking" I replied reassuring him a little.
"Chibi huh?" he said taking the nickname in.
He didn't protest about the new name a kept walking.
I was surprised that he didn't get annoyed but I supposed he was tired of replying to me.
"Chibi"
"Yeah" he replied turning to look at me.
I chuckled.
"What?" he asked now glaring at me.
"So you do like the nickname!" I said excitedly.
"Tch no!" he said turning around again.
"Yes you do!" I teased.
"Whatever" he said talking his hand out of of mine and stopping his movement.
"What are you-"
"Shhhh " he said shutting me up.
"Why?" I asked confused.
"Shhhh" he said again this time putting one finger on on my lips.
He stood there for a second silently.
"Hmph I thought I heard foot steps" he said shrugging his shoulders.
"Silly Chibi!" I replied with smirk.
"Shut up" he said, clearly I was getting on his nerves now.
I calmed him down by asking him to come to my house for a while.
He said yes so we raced back to my house to hang out.
I unlocked the door and bursted it open, cringing at the mess of the place.
Chuuya noticed the mess straight away.
"Dazai your house is a such mess!" he teased throwing an empty can of soup at me.
"Oi!" I screeched pretending to hurt.
Unfortunately Chuuya knew better and just laughed at me.
"Your a wimp" he chuckled while putting a half empty soba box back in the fridge.
"Well you're small" I retorted, realising I should use that word more often.
"I'm still growing!!" he exclaimed, playfully punching me.
Once again I faked it being sore and he grabbed me by the arm pulling me into into the living room a sitting me down.
"Watch TV while I clean the kitchen ok?" he said firmly.
I whined.
"I wanted to cuddle with you though" I said sadly.
"We can cuddle later when I'm finished" he said with a small smile.
"Okay" I huffed as he went of to do his cleaning.
It didn't take very long and I was surprised when he walked back into the living room and sat beside me.
"You done already?" I asked a little shocked that it could be done so soon considering the state of the place.
"Yeah I'm a good cleaner" he replied as if he read my mind.
We eventually decided to watch a movie so we settled down to a horror film.
It was pretty scary I've got to admit and Chuuya was so terrified he was grabbing on to my shirt.
He looked so cute when he was scared.
I was completely relaxed but something felt off, I kept getting the feeling that someone was watching us.
I jumped hearing a voice from behind us.
"Your a naughty boy Dazai, a very naughty boy" the voice said as it boomed around the room.
I looked around in shock as I was presented with my worst nightmare.
It was Mori.
The feared port mafia boss our boss even the person that could crush your dreams in seconds.
Our eyes met instantly and I knew just by looking at him Chuuya and I's little love was about to end right here right now.
"How did you in get here?!" Chuuya exclaimed, pushing me off him and standing up.
"I have my ways young nakahara, I have my ways" he replied with a very fake smile.
"But that's not important at the moment because I have more concerns about what has been happening between you two boys" he said the word boys in a disgusted manner.
I couldn't reply my words were stuck in my throat, desperately trying to break free.
"You know your not supposed to get to close to anyone Dazai you have a person already waiting for you" he said particularly pointing the words to Chuuya.
"What does he mean Dazai?!!" Chuuya shouted, shock filing up his eyes.
"He-" I said quietly, my words still tightly concealed in my throat.
"SPEAK UP IDIOT!!!!!" he screeched, his voice piercing my ears almost making them bleed.
"Oh did he not tell you already" Mori interrupt with a smug look.
"Tell me what?" Chuuya asked looking looking at me then at Mori confused.
Mori answered instantly.
"Well you see Dazai has had a girlfriend since he was seven and they are due to get married into a couple of months" he replied looking pleased with himself.
Chuuya looked bewildered as we both stood in front of each other are feet frozen to the ground.
He started crying.
I-Is t-this true? he screamed with a shaky voice.
"It is but I hate her so so much and I'm not going to marry that moron of a girl" I exclaimed trying to make sense of it all.
"I-I thought you loved me!!" he said barely loud enough for anyone to hear as he crashed onto his knees and started crying even more.
"I do Chuuya, I love you and I will love for all eternity" I said as honestly as I could.
He looked up, his eyes red raw and his hair a mess as he started walking over to me but someone stepped in front of him blocking his path.
"No no no Chuuya you can not go anywhere near that boy or there will be consequences you hear me" he firmly.
No reply.
"You hear me?!" he said more forcefully backing him into a wall.
"Yes s-sir" he said shyly as he was grabbed by the collar.
"Good now come along nakahara we have to have a little talk" he said evilly as he started dragging him away.
I tried to follow but Mori put his hand out signaling me to stop so I stupidly obeyed.
I wish I hadn't because my heart was slowly crumbling to pieces as I watched Chuuya being harshly dragged away.
I noticed him trying to get my attention so focused on him as he did something unexpected.
He mouthed I love you too.
Mori was now out of my sight dragging Chuuya along with him.
I closed my bathroom door tightly shut a slid onto the floor.
"I’m sorry Chuuya, I'm so sorry"
I locked myself in my house for weeks not making any contact with people as I sobbed for hours on end.
~~
As the weeks past I knew I had to go back to the Mafia or they would come looking for me so one day I gathered up the little strength I had to go to work.
In the back of my head I was hoping that I would see my lover but unfortunately luck wasn't on my side and I didn't see him.
Day after day I hoped Chuuya would be there waiting for me, but he never was so I started to lose hope.
Slowly and slowly my faith in him appearing again crumbled as the weeks went and I had now come to the conclusion that I would never see my beloved Chuuya again.