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“Here, try this.”
Minho turned around from his work cutting up vegetables for a salad to see Jinki holding out a spoon with a bite of the pasta sauce he was making on it. He opened his mouth to let his boyfriend slip the spoon inside and tasted it. “Mm,” he replied, swallowing and nodding with approval.
They were putting together dinner in their small kitchen, preparing a meal for when Kibum and Taemin came over later. Today was a big day for the two of them; today was the day they were going to tell their members about the new house they bought together. It seemed to them that getting together one last time in SHINee’s dorm was a good way to deliver the news. Well, the news that also came with a healthy dose of finally coming out to their friends. It had been a few months since they’d gotten together and the timing hadn’t been quite right until now to fill Kibum and Taemin in on that development in their lives.
They were coming up to a solid wall, though. Moving out of the dorm, and more importantly moving in together outside of the dorm, would come with a lot of questions if they didn’t go ahead and explain the situation; and, looking around, Minho figured they were probably going to have questions as soon as they arrived. The boxes they’d been slowly packing were piling up already and without anywhere else to put them, they were all currently taking up a significant amount of space in the corner of the living room. But questions they could handle. Coming out, though? Well, they were working on that. He wished he could say it was getting easier...
The first time they’d done it was with Jinki’s parents. They’d seemed like the best people to start with because they were laid back and gentle, much like the son they raised. His parents took the news… mostly in stride. Although Jinki later told him that his mom called him crying a few times, not out of disappointment or anger, but worry for her only child. There was a real fear that both Jinki and Minho were putting their safety and careers on the line for this relationship. Both of them knew that they definitely were putting their careers on the line, but they just had to work on making sure they maintained the level of privacy they’d already established long ago. It would be fine, they’d told themselves and each other confidently.
(They didn’t often talk about the personal safety part, though.)
Minho’s parents had been… different. Although things were much better now, Minho couldn’t deny that the dinner he and Jinki had with his mom and dad had been an awkward and upsetting evening. He still remembered his mom practically sobbing as if he told her he was gravely ill. He could still see his dad stoically silent in the corner of the living room of his childhood home; he could even still feel the way Jinki had kept a comforting, warm hand on his back as Minho tried to get his parents to understand that he was happy. All he’d wanted was for them to see that he finally had the happiness they wanted for him his whole life, but at that moment they weren’t getting it.
Things still weren’t the same with his parents, but they were getting better. He still talked to them once a week, he still treated them the same way, but he knew that there were some things they weren’t the most comfortable discussing yet. Maybe once or twice his mom tried to ask about Jinki, but there was never much space to say too much about him before the subject was changed. They were trying, though, and he could only hope that eventually they would come to fully accept the decisions he’d made for his own life.
(Telling his hyung had been decidedly easier, although Minseok-hyung’s shock had resulted in a small grease fire.)
“Ming?” Jinki asked, breaking Minho out of his reverie.
“Hm?” Minho replied, noticing Jinki looking down at the countertop before casting his own eyes downward. He must have been standing there doing nothing for a while. “Sorry, I guess I was a bit preoccupied. At least I didn’t cut a finger off?” he quipped with a self-deprecating smile.
“I’m glad for that,” Jinki said with a soft laugh, pressing a kiss to Minho’s forehead. “I’ll finish up here. Can you set the table?”
Minho laid the knife down, but he didn’t let Jinki pick it up. Instead, he blocked the older man from the vegetables and cutting board and wrapped him up in his arms.
“What are you doing?” Jinki asked, his face glowing with affection.
“Hmm? Nothing…” Minho replied cutely.
“We’re supposed to be finishing dinner,” Jinki reminded him, although he made no move to escape from Minho’s embrace. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Minho’s neck and looked up at him with so much love in his eyes that Minho felt like crying from it.
“But we’ve got…” Minho leaned his head to the side enough to look at the digital clock on the oven. “Twenty more minutes until they’re supposed to be here. That’s plenty of time.” Minho grinned devilishly at his boyfriend.
“Oh? For what exactly?” Jinki asked, looking at Minho with his uniquely bashful yet flirtatious gaze.
Minho didn’t say another word, instead leaning down to capture Jinki’s lips in a kiss that was met with enthusiasm. He’d never get tired of this, of the way Jinki melted into him or the way his fingertips would gently brush over the nape of his neck. He loved the way Jinki would hum happily when their lips parted before he inevitably leaned back in for another kiss.
There was a reason Jinki had to remind Minho they were supposed to be finishing dinner. The two of them were starting to get a reputation these days for not being quite as punctual as they used to be because of situations like this. It would start with a kiss, simple and sweet, but that would often turn more heated which then led to hands moving, touching anywhere they could find. Then their clothes would start to feel too warm, too confining and one thing led to another…
Minho’s tongue brushed over Jinki’s lips, begging for him to let him in. Jinki obliged, parting his lips for him. Pulling Jinki closer by the waist until their hips were flush together, Minho pushed them up against the kitchen cabinets. It wasn’t as easy as it would have been with any of the women Minho had dated in the past, but with some teamwork and their combined strength, he had Jinki hoisted up on the countertop easily. Luckily, lust hadn’t completely taken over Jinki’s brain yet and he had the forethought to push the bowl of vegetables and cutting board out of the way.
Jinki’s legs wrapped around Minho, pulling him in closer between them. Minho’s hands untucked the hem of Jinki’s shirt and pushed up under the fabric, seeking out the warm, bare skin on his back. There was a soft moan that escaped Jinki’s mouth when Minho’s hands left his back and traveled down his hips and over his thighs. Minho felt frantic. He knew they didn't have much time, but he couldn’t stop himself. His lips parted from Jinki’s, kissed the corner of his mouth then his jaw, and down his neck. There was another moan and Minho grinned against Jinki’s neck, his right hand moving up, closer and closer to cup over Jinki’s cock…
And that was when Jinki pushed him away.
With wide eyes and his mouth hung open, Minho looked at his boyfriend. “What?”
Jinki looked amazing. Rumpled, lips swollen, his breathing uneven… It made Minho want to kiss him again and pick up where he left off, but the older man wasn’t having any of that.
“Minho-yah, as much as I’d love to carry on, I don’t think that’s how we want to tell Kibum and Taeminnie about us. I’m not trying to give our best friends heart attacks.” He reached out and patted Minho’s chest before hopping down off the countertop.
Pouting, Minho asked, “Just one more kiss?” When Jinki shot him an unimpressed look, his pout turned into a cute smile.
Jinki giggled, unable to resist completely. “Okay, but keep your hands to yourself,” Jinki replied.
Minho held both hands in the air and leaned down so Jinki could kiss him one last time before they got serious about finishing dinner.
“Now go set the table,” Jinki insisted, although he was wearing the cutest shy smile Minho had ever seen as he grabbed the knife and began finishing up the salad.
Minho finished up his task of setting the table and after their brief impromptu break, not much time passed before Minho heard their front door open.
Of course they let themselves in , he thought.
“Hyung!” Taemin exclaimed as soon as he laid eyes on Jinki, who warmly wrapped Taemin up in his arms for a hug.
Minho, on the other hand, came face to face with Kibum, who was looking around the living room as he entered the apartment.
He handed Minho a bottle of wine without even looking at him. “Here,” he said, shoving the bottle against Minho’s chest. “What’s with the boxes?”
Minho rolled his eyes. Trust Kibum not to even say “hello” to him before asking questions. “They’re just boxes,” Minho answered vaguely, which only earned him a look of annoyance from his friend.
“Come on, let’s eat. Jinki worked hard on dinner,” Minho said, practically pushing Kibum toward the small dining area off from the dorm’s kitchen.
Of course Kibum greeted Jinki more warmly. He hugged him, called him “old man” in that uniquely affectionate way only Kibummie could pull off.
“Lobster cream pasta? Hm, I wasn’t expecting that,” Kibum said as he looked at the pot simmering on the stovetop. “It smells great.”
“Well, I know you like pasta and I figured Taeminnie would probably want something he hasn’t had to eat over and over again,” Jinki said, dunking his head bashfully at their members’ compliments. He looked so cute.
Minho couldn’t be more in love with him.
Once everyone had a plate of pasta in front of them, Minho poured them all a glass of the Chardonnay Kibum brought and the conversation flowed after that. They talked about Taemin’s service mostly, all of them showering their maknae with attention because they got so little time with him now. He told them about his performances, complained about the boring parts of his service, and proudly showed them pictures his mom sent him of Kkoongie.
Everyone else had so many things going on that there was never a pause in their conversation, even as Jinki stood and gathered up their plates to take them to the kitchen.
Kibum stood along with him, holding his wine glass, and walked back into the living room. Minho’s eyes followed him as he wandered around.
“I can’t believe this place always looks the same as when I still lived here,” Kibum stated, sipping at his wine.
“We’re not really great at decorating,” Minho replied with a laugh.
“But you know what doesn’t look the same? All these boxes in the corner,” Kibum said accusingly. He turned around, eyes narrowed suspiciously, and looked directly in Minho’s direction. “Please don’t tell me you’re moving again ?” Then he paused. “No, actually, please tell me you are. I couldn’t believe it when you moved back into the dorm in the first place.”
Minho sighed. He knew Kibum wasn’t going to let the boxes go, it was just a matter of time before he brought it up again.
Jinki walked out of the kitchen and the two of them shared a look. With a nod, Minho said, “Okay. I guess now is as good a time as any…”
That caught both Kibum’s and Taemin’s attention.
“What’s going on?” Taemin asked, his brows scrunched with confusion.
“Let’s just all sit back down,” Jinki said, gesturing for Kibum and Minho to come back to the dining table and he took his own seat again.
Even Kibum was starting to look confused, even a little concerned.
“So…” Jinki began, his role as leader coming out. “The boxes are for Minho’s things. But they’re also for my things.”
Minho reached out and placed a hand on Jinki’s thigh under the table. “We’re both moving out of the dorm.”
“ What ?” Taemin asked incredulously. “But hyung… I thought you wanted to stay here…?”
Jinki looked down at the table, his finger tracing around the base of his wine glass. “Uh, well, I did. But it’s just, you know, time.” They were both dancing around the hard part of this conversation.
“So you guys just decided that you wanted to move out? How long did it take you to convince the old man to leave?” Kibum asked, his tone airy. There was an unmistakable slight tremor in his voice, though. Like Kibum was trying to cover up his emotional response to no one living in the SHINee dorm anymore.
“Not long, actually,” Minho replied with a breathy, nervous laugh. “Um, that's why we wanted you guys to come over for dinner. We wanted to have one more meal here together before we moved out.”
That had Taemin’s eyebrows practically in his hairline. “So, like, you’re both leaving soon?”
Minho felt the creeping sensation of anxiety crawling up his body. His feet and his hands tingled with pins and needles, his stomach felt like it was doing somersaults, and he felt shaky all over. He hated it. He felt it every time they had to do this. It was like coming out was never ending. Really, he figured maybe it really would be never ending. But telling the people who really mattered, family and friends? That had to end at some point and he was looking forward to that day.
“Yeah,” Minho said. He looked over at Jinki, the two of them silently communicating. He felt Jinki take his hand under the table and give it a squeeze. “So we wanted to get together here one more time, but that’s not it. We have some news for you both.”
Jinki took that as his cue. Between the two of them, Jinki never seemed to feel the anxiety of coming out as strongly as Minho did. Or maybe he just hid it better. “See, we are moving, but we’re not moving to different places. Um, we’re moving together. We bought a place together .”
Minho looked at their friends. Taemin still looked confused, but he saw something in Kibum’s eyes. Like he was going over the past couple of months, trying to put all the pieces together while also resisting the most obvious answer.
“See, um, Minho and I… we’re moving out of here together because… we’re together. Uh, in a relationship,” Jinki concluded, clunky as ever. They never seemed to know how to verbalize it without the words coming out a bit inelegantly.
Taemin and Kibum wore matching shocked expressions.
Jinki and Minho shared an unsure look and waited for one of their friends to speak. It took a few long moments of uncomfortable silence, Minho sipping at the wine in his glass and Jinki holding onto his hand with a death grip, before someone finally said something.
“I just… I just can’t believe I didn’t figure it out!” Kibum exclaimed.
Minho groaned. “Seriously? That’s it?”
“Well what am I supposed to say?” Kibum asked, getting heated because it was them. They would always end up arguing over everything. “I’ve seen you and Jinki-hyung a ton of times. I should have figured it out! Especially when you moved back in here all of a sudden. I mean, why else would you move back into the dorm? And your excuse? To save money? That was beyond flimsy and I should have known that.” Kibum slumped in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. A moment passed before he spring back up again. “Oh my god! That one time… You were supposed to come over for lunch and you both showed up late, together , looking like you’d run a marathon, all flushed and rumpled.” Kibum suddenly had that same look on his face that he had when Minho showed up in his marines uniform after his discharge. Minho and Jinki both looked shifty-eyed and Minho just knew Jinki was blushing. “ Oh god ,” Kibum groaned.
“Oh don’t act so appalled,” Minho huffed. “You’re one to talk.”
“Excuse me! I’m never late to our plans because I’m having a quickie,” Kibum argued back. “ Aish ! Can’t you keep it in your pants, Choi Minho?”
While they bickered back and forth, Jinki and Taemin sat silently, used to it by now. The bickering went on for a while, the two of them arguing back or forth about whether Kibum should have been able to figure it out or not, why it even mattered, just how many times Minho blew him off to “blow Jinki-hyung instead,” until finally they had tired themselves out.
“Well, anyway,” Kibum said, pouring himself another glass of wine. “I’m happy for you two.”
Jinki and Minho replied at the same time:
“Thank you.”
“Why couldn’t you just say that to begin with?”
Despite their very different responses, both of them were actually thankful for Kibum’s support. However, there was another person in the room who hadn’t said a word yet.
Jinki looked over at Taemin, his strange silence obviously a concern. “Taeminnie?” Jinki said, reaching a hand out to place over Taemin’s on the table. “Are you okay?” Minho could hear the nervous tremor in his voice as he talked to their maknae. They were so fond of Taemin, loved him more than they could even say, but everyone knew Jinki had a particular fondness for Taemin that wasn’t easily matched.
“Huh?” Taemin asked. “Oh! Oh hyung, I’m fine. Sorry. I’m really happy for you both,” he replied hastily. “It’s just…” Taemin began before letting out a slight giggle. He brought a hand up to cover his face. “It’s just, I always thought that if anyone in this group was going to get together, it would be Kibum-hyung and Minho-hyung.”
Both Kibum and Minho stared at Taemin in shock and in unison exclaimed, “ What ?!”
Jinki simply burst into laughter and Taemin soon followed.
“They do have a certain way about them, don’t they?” Jinki said to Taemin, who nodded.
“They do! Sometimes they bicker so much I think I’m watching a couple in a drama,” Taemin said in between fits of laughter.
Minho and Kibum, on the other hand, looked at the two of them with expressions of disgust at the idea.
Minho narrowed his eyes and glared at his boyfriend when he turned to look at him.
“Aww,” Jinki said, smiling at Minho apologetically, and reached out to cup his jaw, stroking his cheek with his thumb. “I’m sorry.”
“Aw, hyung! You’re so cute,” Taemin said with a sweet smile at Jinki’s casual affection.
Kibum scoffed. “Please. Minho wishes I’d have him.”
Minho rolled his eyes at the other man. “I think I made the best choice already,” he stated confidently, gazing lovingly at Jinki. He wanted to kiss him right there, but they’d never actually been that affectionate in front of other people and it still felt strange to even talk about themselves as a couple to anyone.
There was a sense of relief he felt now that it was out in the open and both of their friends had reacted well to it. However, he should have known it wasn’t going to go completely smoothly.
Taemin cleared his throat and Minho could see from the look on his face that something was bothering him.
“What’s on your mind, Taeminnie?” he asked.
Taemin sighed and looked around the room. “I’m happy for you two and all, but… why do you have to leave the dorm?”
“Well, we’re trying to build a life together,” Jinki answered, his voice gentle. He was always so gentle with Taemin.
“So does that mean that this place is just gone? Someone else is going to move in and change it?” Taemin asked, although everyone knew that he already knew the answer to that.
“I imagine so,” Jinki replied, his voice so soft it was almost a whisper.
The truth was that he hadn’t been handling the move the best either. They both wanted this, but there had been a dilemma about giving up this place. The apartment held so many memories, both good and bad, and Jinki had been here for so long that this was the place he felt most comfortable. And with Minho back, it had become a home to him all over again.
But they agreed they needed their privacy. They had to be careful even within the confines of their home because one of their managers did still stay there sometimes. Of course, there had been a discussion with him after a few weeks because it had been exhausting trying to figure out whether he was going to be there for the night or not. It had been an even more exhausting experience talking to their manager about it because all he’d cared about at the time was their jobs and their reputations. He’d even made the suggestion that they forget it and try to go back to just being friends and colleagues. That was when things got a little ugly, with Minho losing his temper and Jinki’s silent anger causing him to leave the room after calmly asking their manager to leave the apartment for a while.
Minho didn’t necessarily expect everything to go smoothly, or for no one to have any negative comments regarding their relationship, but he’d expected some understanding from their staff. They had to trust them after all. They’d managed to work it out with their manager, but he didn’t often stay over after that. It suited them just fine, but the fact still remained that they needed their own home.
Taemin and Jinki both looked down over the acknowledgement that the dorm would no longer be theirs, which left Minho and Kibum silently staring across the table at each other. Minho was sad too and, for all his bravado about their dorm life being hell on Earth, he knew Kibum felt the same way. This place had been theirs to share and even with all the fighting, the lack of personal space and privacy, and every other negative aspect of five young guys living together, the memories they shared outweighed the rest of it.
For all their sadness, though, it fell to him and Kibum to cheer up their leader and maknae.
“It’ll be okay, Taeminnie. You can still visit us whenever you want at our house once you’re done with your service. It won’t be any different,” Minho reasoned gently.
“It’s not like you were a frequent visitor anyway,” Kibum pointed out brashly, although he paired his words with a warm hand on Taemin’s back. “You’ll still have access to the old man here.”
Maybe they weren’t the best cheer up crew.
“I know,” Taemin murmured with a pout. “It’s not really the same, though. It’s like... the end of something significant in our lives.”
“Taemin-ah?” Jinki said, giving the younger man’s hand a squeeze. “I know what you mean. It’s why I've stayed here so long.” Hesitantly, he continued, “I felt like I needed to stay here to hold onto everything the five of us shared.”
Minho felt tears catch in his eyelashes, not quite falling from his eyes, as he heard the shaky quality of Jinki’s voice. Across the table, he could see that Kibum hadn’t quite been able to contain his own tears as he tried to surreptitiously wipe his cheek and, fondly, Minho thought that it was typical Kibum.
“But we still have our memories with this place or without it. It’ll always be the SHINee dorm to all of us even if other people live in it,” Jinki added, his typical megawatt smile not quite as bright as he reached up to wipe away a tear that had fallen down his cheek. Not surprising because when one of them cried, most of them always seemed to follow suit.
Taemin pulled back from Jinki, although not in a sullen way. Minho could tell Taemin was trying to accept the news, despite how sad he looked.
“It’s like losing your childhood home, you know?” Taemin finally said after a long moment of silence from the four of them.
Minho had to admit that he wasn’t wrong. They were kids when they started all of this together and now they were almost all in their 30s. So much had changed over the years, but the one thing that didn’t change once they’d settled in this dorm was that it was theirs for a lot of years. As long as he and Jinki called it home, it was still home for all of them if they wanted it to be. Even if it had been years since Kibum or Taemin spent a night in this apartment.
“It is, but think of it this way,” Jinki replied, cutting through the silence. “Even when your parents move out of your childhood home, you still have each other and then their new house becomes another place for you to call home because they’re there.”
“And I’m sure our two dads over here will let you sleepover if you want, Taeminnie,” Kibum cut in, clearly trying to create some levity.
It seemed to work because Taemin’s pout turned into a small, hesitant smile. Jinki and Minho weren’t far behind and soon enough the tears that were falling earlier were replaced with easy laughter.
“So tell us about this house,” Kibum said, leaning in with interest. And Jinki was ready to do just that. He reached for his phone in his pocket and started showing Kibum and Taemin pictures he’d taken of the place they had bought.
And as Minho watched Jinki flip through the pictures, talking about every detail he loved about the house, he felt content with their future together. Jinki was right after all. This place wouldn’t physically be theirs anymore, but it was okay because they still had each other. He thought back on the night he barged into the dorm and how he’d sat with Jinki on the couch, the two of them realizing that life apart didn’t feel right. As much as it was true that the two of them were each other’s home more than this apartment was, it was just as true for all of them. They were a family and wherever they were was home.