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"You know," Chris remarked as he continued to unsuccessfully fumble with the dark cravat around his neck, or more particularly, aimlessly stabbing with the pin as he tried to pin the two pieces of the fabric closed, "part of the whole draw about being a vampire is that it makes you the, like, Adonis of people right? Acne and oily skin but a distant memory, smooth and flawless skin for the rest of your undead life, all as you flash those deadly pearly whites baby!" He paused for a second as he waited for Ashley to respond, cursing under his breath as the stupid pin refused once again to go in the way he wanted.
He didn't have to wait long in any case. Ashley very quickly appeared next to Chris in the mirror on their dresser, her mouth turned up into an exasperated smile as she continued to maneuver and style her hair into a semi-elaborate updo, adding what Chris considered to be a frankly terrifying amount of hairspray. "Pretty sure you lose the ability to even see that flawless skin in a mirror there Narcissus, just wanted to point that out. But yeah, that's how the stories tend to go at least, what about it?"
Chris sighed in defeat as he abandoned his struggle with the pin before he somehow managed to stab himself in the neck, carelessly tossing the jeweled pin onto the top of the dresser. "I was just wondering if you think that applies to their teeth too." He flashed her a grin, making sure to show off the sharp vampire caps he had applied to his eye teeth only a few moments earlier, before giving them their own examination in the mirror. It was certainly one of the upsides to having the son of a horror movie mogul for a best friend, neither of them had had to deal with the dollar store versions and being forced to remove them every three minutes so they could talk or eat. Or breath. He gave his teeth a couple of test snaps, and quirked his brow pleased at the satisfying 'clack' sound that had still come out. "Do you think that vampirism can fix even the worst, most disgusting teeth you've ever seen and turn them into those white harbingers of death that we all find so terribly sexy?"
That jolted a clearly unexpected snort of laughter out of her that had the unintended, but extremely pleasant, side effect of Chris's stomach flipping just as madly as it did when he was a pre-teen (and hoped would still happen every time he made her laugh when they were both old and grey). Even if he did have to duck out of the way to avoid the cloud of hairspray that her laugh had accidentally caused her to spray almost right into his face. "Excuse me? What? God, I hope not. I mean, could you imagine: regaining consciousness only to feel your teeth moving around in your mouth as it resets itself? It would be the worst orthodontist appointment you've ever had, times a thousand. Count me out."
"Oooooh, you think that if a vampire ever turned while wearing braces then he would have to wear them for the rest of his undead life? Or are there like vampire orthodontists out there that can tighten them? Until they can be removed so you end up with that sexy vampire smile to make the men and ladies swoon, of course. Wait, do you think vampire retainers are an option? Do they need to put one on before they slink back into their coffin to sleep the day away if they want to keep their new teeth aligned just as us mortals?"
Seemingly pleased at the now hopefully permanent state of her hair, Ashley abandoned the can of hairspray and reached over for the bejeweled bat clip to pin at the base of the pile of hair atop her head. "Oh man, can you imagine? You're in your coffin when suddenly some random vampire hunter tries to attack you in your sleep. But when you try to defend yourself by biting them..."
"You're still wearing your retainer!"
"Exactly!" Satisfied and now completely finished with her hair, Ashley turned to look straight at Chris with a wide smile on her face as she put her earrings in, flashing her own vampire-capped teeth at him. And, as usual, found himself absolutely blown away at how bright her eyes got when she was excited like this. The heavy amount of eyeliner around her eyes to give them a more sunken in and dead look benefiting their costumes certainly didn't subdue the effect any. If anything, it only made the life in her eyes more vibrant. "You can't even pierce the skin anymore! Oh god, and assuming you somehow manage to make it out alive after that blunder, all you can do is just hope that the other vampires don't hear about it. I know I certainly wouldn't be able to show my face for the next five centuries, at least. Probably just change my name too while I was at it."
Chris laughed as he grabbed at the choker on the dresser and helped Ashley put it on, being careful not to crease or bend the high-backed collar of her dress as he did so. "I mean that's probably still better than trying to drink while wearing braces personally. Like what if the brackets get caught on the skin while trying to feed? Does a vampire with braces have to survive on blood bags for a couple of years until they get removed? Actually, would the blood clot in your teeth and possibly start damaging or corroding at the wires in the first place?"
Ashley gagged, even as she couldn't help but giggle afterwards. " Chris! Ew! That's so gross!"
Chris gave a scandalized gasp, crossing both his hands over his chest once he was satisfied that the choker was properly clasped. "Worrying about the state of orthodontics in vampire society is not gross Ash! How could you ever say such a thing, does proper dental care mean nothing to you?"
Ashley was already reaching out to shove him away, even as she failed to hide her giggles. Though instead of shoving at his arm or chest like he would have normally anticipated, her hand wound up far closer to the side of his face than he would have liked. He stumbled backwards and nearly fell onto their bed in his haste to avoid her hand.
"Woah, woah, woah! Watch the hair Ash! The amount of gel I had to use will probably end up cementing your hand to my head or something." He wasn't lying. His hair was slicked back sharply to try (and poorly) imitate the look that had been oh-so popular on vampires in the movies from the fifties, but with around fifty times more hair gel than was probably required. "And won't that be awkward to try and explain to everyone else at the Halloween party."
Having recovered from his almost fatal(ly embarrassing) stumble, Chris straightened up, but before he could try to straighten out the incredibly formal vampire lord costume (not that it would stay neat for very long mind you, not with an excitable and energetic one year-old to try and control... and watch helplessly as she then covered said incredibly formal vampire lord costume in spilt juice and sticky cheerios), Ashley was already there. The cravat pin held safely between her blood-red coloured lips as she helped to finish securing the cravat in question, and the second her hands had started smoothing out the fabric of the scarf, Chris's own hands had appeared around her waist to hold them both steady. And just as an excuse to hold her really, which she realized right away if the amused uptick to the corner of her mouth meant anything.
Even once the cravat was finally firmly secured and tucked neatly into his waistcoat, Ashley's hands didn't stop moving. Smoothing out any wrinkles that may have formed in his dress shirt and folding the shirt collar back down neatly. Though the sight of a dark bruise that appeared on his neck just above the collar of the shirt now had her biting back a laugh. "Well, I think I may have found something even more awkward to try and explain personally."
"Well I don't see why we would need to explain it anyways. I mean, we are married with a daughter Ash, preeeeeetty sure everyone already has an idea about what kind of things we probably get up to when we're alone." Chris switched his teasing tone to give a deep, malcontented sigh, "but alas, it seems as though we have come to yet another vampiristic draw we can never have: bruises and injuries are but a long forgotten memory."
"Oh shush you," Ashley gives a gentle smack at Chris's arm, but then quickly returns her gaze as she contemplates the hickey that she had put there only last night. Chris can tell that she's also using all her will power to avoid pulling her lip in between her teeth to gnaw at it as she thinks, not wanting to ruin the lipstick and have to reapply it all over again. "I think I have an idea anyway."
Before he can ask what the idea is, Ashley is already gone. Turning back to the dresser and leaving Chris to stand alone and blinking dumbly at the empty space before him, his hands still hovering in the spot where Ashley's waist had once been. He doesn't have to wait long for her to return in any case, black eyeliner pencil in hand. Knowing exactly what it is that she had planned now, all Chris can do is let out a tired groan. "Oh no."
She ignores him, moving back to her place in front of him and gently tugging him down so she's got a slightly better view of his neck. Despite his reservations and dread about what's to come, Chris still bends down easily to meet her. His dread certainly wasn't about the eyeliner itself in any case, he already had a fairly healthy amount around his own eyes that she had given him about an hour earlier, all to try and complete the undead image that the two of them had been going for. He just wasn't too excited about what it was going to be used for now.
"Now stay still please, I don't want to mess this up and accidentally start drawing all over your shirt."
He listens, mostly because the last thing he needs is a large black scribble down his shirt collar, and it's over in a few seconds anyways. One moment his neck had been bare of nothing but a little love bite from their activities last night, and now it was very much an actual bite... or a cheap simulation of one. Two little pinpricks of black evenly spaced apart in the center of the bruise to try and simulate the bite of a vampire.
Giving a once over of her two-second fix, all Ashley can do is sigh sadly. "That's the best I can do really. If I had more time I might be able to make it look more realistic or something but..."
"Oh it's fine Ash. You've just turned us into two vampires with a biting kink, that's all. I'm sure that absolutely no one will tease us about this the entire time. Especially not Josh."
"I mean, we are married with a daughter, Chris," Ashley parrots back at him, " preeeeeetty sure everyone already has an idea about what kind of things we probably get up to when we're alone."
All Chris can do is just twist his face into a disgruntled short of pout as she uses his own words against him, and Ashley doesn't hesitate to laugh at his expression in turn. "Kinda feeling the need to point out that I'm not the only one with bruises all over my neck and shit."
"Yeah, well I don't know if you've noticed but I'm pretty well covered in that regard," Ashley pointed out as she gestured flatly at the extremely high necked dress she was wearing. "Quite literally too. And unfortunately for you, I don't think this is an option for you."
"No, you're right," Chris agreed as he nodded sagely, sighing sadly all the while. "It's way too late for us to switch clothes at this point, there would be no way we'd make it to the party on time. A crying shame too, I think we both know I would absolutely rock it. I mean, it's even my colour."
That surprises yet another snort out of Ashley. "That is absolutely what I meant. There was clearly no other possible interpretation that could have been used." Putting the cap back on the eyeliner pencil, she places it back on the dresser and goes back to adjust Chris's collar so it's lying down properly again. But as her eyes once again fall on the bruise, her own expression of exasperated amusement falls to something else he can't quite place. Something that certainly isn't regret, but still far, far too close for Chris's comfort. "We really should have been more careful last night, huh? I at least should have known better, especially with Josh's Halloween party the next day."
Chris is quick to act, immediately taking Ashley's hands in his own and threading his fingers through hers. "Hey now, pretty sure that no one can blame us for that. We were celebrating after all. And need I remind you, but there was a lot to celebrate yesterday. I mean, against all the odds, the two of us somehow managed to keep an actual baby alive for a whole entire year. Us , Ash, us! We've managed to kill a cactus in less than a day before, but our daughter is still very much alive and very healthy."
Ashley couldn't quite help the small smile that formed when she laughed softly, squeezing his fingers in hers. Chris knows he's only imagining it, but he likes to think he can hear their wedding rings clinking together when she does so. "And when we gave her her birthday cupcake after supper yesterday, she only managed to cover herself and the high chair entirely in chocolate icing. And not half the kitchen like we had been fearing."
Chris nodded. "Exactly! She's already a remarkably neater eater than Josh. She's going places, that one. Not to mention that she even went to bed surprisingly easy that night as well."
"Miracles all around."
"And," Chris leaned down a bit so he could place his forehead against Ashley's, but was careful not to ruin either of their hair or makeup, "I do seem to recall that someone just got in their last advancement for their very first book yesterday."
She rolled her eyes at that, but Chris could easily see just how hard she was struggling to hold back the glee that still threatened to bubble out of her in excited giggles even now. "C'mon Chris, it wasn't even all that much. Even when you were on leave you still made more than what I got for it."
"So what? Ash, the book you've been writing for the last two years is going to be published . Next week too! That's amazing! You're going to be on the best seller's list and swimming in royalties in no time."
Ashley gave an embarrassed little laugh, her face pink as she just stared at their fingers loosely tangled together."You do realize that people have to buy the book first, right?"
"As if that's even a question," Chris scoffed. " Of course people are going to buy it Ash. They're crazy if they don't. Lord knows that I've been bragging to everyone at work the second you signed that contract, that I was married to the greatest author the world will ever see. Your book is going to fly right off the shelves, trust me." He punctuated his statement by making sure that she was looking up at him again, and once she was he never let his eyes leave hers as he raised their still intertwined fingers so he could kiss her wedding ring.
Ashley's eyes softened to the point that it looked like she was about to cry, or just say to hell with it all and kiss him until they were both breathless, but as though on cue, the sound of their daughter babbling happily in the room next to theirs as she woke up from her mid-afternoon nap floated in through the open door.
Chris tightens his grip on her hands just so he can get his wife's attention back on him. Joshlynn could surely wait just a few seconds longer. "Hey, just in case I didn't make it clear: I'm really, really proud of you Ash. Like stupid proud, crazy proud even. So proud that I feel like I may have fallen in love with you all over again."
Ashley doesn't hesitate, popping up onto the balls of her feet so she can kiss him soundly; carefully applied lipstick be damned. And, just as it ever is when dealing with her, Chris is helpless but to return it the best he can—not caring one lick about the fact that he will definitely be wearing the lipstick now too—before a much more impatient and upset babble separates them, accompanied by the angry sound of a crib being rattled.
The tired groan that came out from between them could have come from either, but the chances of both of them making the sound at the same time was pretty high. Of all the things that their daughter could have inherited from her uncle, the seemingly supernatural ability to interrupt the two of them any time there was even a hint of a romantic moment on the horizon was one that Chris wished dearly had been skipped. It had been bad enough when it had just been Josh somehow always managing to interrupt every single time he had been about to propose. And now for Chris to have his own daughter be able to replicate it almost perfectly was so, so much worse.
He and Ashley had at least been able to get a break from Josh every now and then, but their daughter was going to be living under the very same roof for at least the next eighteen or so years. The chances of the two of them ever getting a quiet (and private) moment together again were very slim indeed.
Which is only confirmed by an exceptionally angry screech and the sadly familiar sound of wood banging into drywall over and over again.
The moment now officially very much dead, Chris still tries to give it a somewhat bittersweet ending by giving Ashley one last quick peck on the lips. He knows that she understands what he really means anyways when she gives their still clasped hands one final, tight squeeze before dropping them and the two of frantically turn away from each other. Not out of any embarrassment of course, but the next objectives on their pre-party checklist are in two very opposite directions.
"I'll text Josh and get the bag ready to go," Chris says, already grabbing at his phone from where it's charging on the end table.
"Sounds good. I'll get our master of timing changed and dressed. Meet you in the kitchen in fifteen minutes?" Ashley doesn't even bother to wait for his response, she's already walking out their bedroom to make her way to their daughter's room. Though out of the corner of his eye, Chris does catch her hand reaching out to grab at the door way and peek her head back in for just a second. "And I love you too. Just... so, so much." The second over, the doorway is once again empty as she leaves to go and get their daughter changed and dressed for the party.
...And to stop Joshlynn from trying to break down the bars of her crib-based prison in her own very literal version of a ‘Baby's First’ prison break. Which, judging from the excited shriek that absolutely erupted throughout the entire apartment the second Ashley had entered their daughter's room, had been once again safely averted for another day.
Chris honestly just goes through the motions for the next few minutes. Sending Josh a text that the three of them will be there in a little under an hour (and then ignoring the storm of excited and impatient texts that Josh sends back), grabbing the diaper bag from its shelf in the coat closet by the front door, and shoving a good half dozen diapers and wipes into said bag. Normally he tries to pay a little more attention when packing the bag (neither him nor Ash will ever forget the time they dropped Joshlynn off at her mother’s for the day and they had both managed to somehow forget to pack her medicated cream... and a change of clothes.), but he's got other things on his mind right now.
Namely, the image of Ashley peeking her head into the doorway of their bedroom. Her red hair piled high on her head, the bejeweled bat clip sparkling as it reflected the light. The blood red lipstick on her lips slightly smudged as she smiled so brightly, and yet so softly, as she told him that she loved him. Sometimes he still found it unbelievable that this was really his life now, that he was actually married to his best friend and soulmate, so Chris did his best to memorize the moment as he did every time one happened. Slotting it safely away with all the others just in case he really did wake up from this beautiful, wonderful dream.
But once he had Joshlynn's sippy cup of juice all ready for her on the kitchen table, that was inevitably when he came crashing down to earth. All happy thoughts of how much he truly loved his wife and the life they had made gone as he stared hatefully down at his opponent. This was how he knew that no matter how much of a dream come true this all felt sometimes, even his own brain wouldn't have dared come up with something as evil as the baby-proof lock that separated him from the snacks in the cupboard below. Letting the diaper bag fall next to him on the tiled kitchen floor with a soft thump, Chris kneeled down so he could stare down the cold, white plastic that connected the handles of the two cupboards together.
He could do this. He could absolutely, one hundred percent do this. Well okay, he could twenty-five percent do this if you wanted to be real exact. Cause while the lock may be successfully baby-proof a full hundred percent of the time, it was also Chris-proof too. But he still had a one-in-four chance of getting it open on the first try, which was a hell of a lot better than it had been even a week ago. And they'd had these on the cupboards ever since their little chaotic bundle of joy learned the wonders of crawling and investigating things that someone her size had absolutely no need to be getting their hands on.
Like that tub of Crisco just a few weeks back. Chris wasn't even sure where the hell it had even come from honestly (it wasn't exactly like he and Ashley were known for their baking skills after all), but whether or not it should have existed in the first place, the horrors that nevertheless occurred that afternoon would scar him for life.
Taking a deep breath, he carefully and gingerly placed his fingers on what were supposedly the correct positions of the lock and squared his shoulders. Now that he's showing far more confidence than he's actually feeling, Chris gives a single firm tug at the lock.
Which, unsurprisingly, did not move.
Resisting the powerful urge to angrily tug at the white plastic that continued to mock him, Chris's forehead collided with the cupboard door in a dull thump as he cursed tiredly under his breath. This was fine. Sure he had just failed miserably in getting the door open, but so what? He refused to let his secret late-night training sessions when the girls were asleep go to waste. He had a one-in-four chance of opening the door after all, so as long as he could manage it in the next three tries then his average was still golden.
Try number two fails miserably. As does try three. By this point he's metaphorically weeping as he sends a prayer to whatever (hopefully) merciful entity was (hopefully) passing through his kitchen at this very point in time.
"Dada! Dada!"
In a flash, Chris turns with a grin that is almost as excited as his own daughter's greeting; the trials and tribulations with his most hated foe now but all but forgotten. Especially at the heart-achingly adorable sight that is his one-year-old baby girl. She's wearing a bat costume to match with and complement her vampire parents, the shimmery silver fabric of the wings hanging down from her outstretched arms as her tiny hands clutched tightly and desperately onto Ashley's fingers for the balance she still sorely needed as she toddled shakily towards him.
Chris couldn't help it, his already wide and excited grin somehow managed to get even bigger. "Oh man, I think someone is going to absolutely wipe the floor with the rest of the competition at the costume contest tonight."
Ashley snorted in disbelief. "You say that as though the entire thing isn't fixed in her favour."
"I don't know what you're talking about Ash," Chris said, "that first place prize basket of baby toys and snacks could be for absolutely any—oh shit!" The next second, he was interrupted as he frantically tried to close the small distance that remained between him and Joshlynn. Whom, it needed to be mentioned, decided that her slow, unsteady steps would go much quicker if she let go of her mother's hands and walked the rest of the way for herself. Which would have been an exciting moment and monumental achievement if she hadn't immediately thrust her arms ahead of her to be picked up. So she hadn't even made it a single step before she was already off balance and about to fall flat onto her face.
Ashley didn't even get time to try and grab at their over-eager daughter herself before Chris already had Joshlynn in his arms and spinning around back to his feet. Unaware or uncaring of the face plant that had almost been in her future, Joshlynn only giggled excitedly as she was spun around. The moment he had stopped moving, his daughter already had her hands on his face and her mouth open wide as she tried to move her face towards him.
"Woah, woah, woah! Now hold on there kiddo," Chris said as his head backed away so he could get a better look at his daughter's face. His daughter who still had her mouth open wide enough that he could easily see the few front teeth she had, and the upper canine teeth (the entire inspiration for their costumes fact) that still stuck out just a little further than all the rest. Scattered strands of strawberry-blonde hair stuck out from under the bat-eared hood as she waited patiently (if not a little confused) for the kisses she was looking for. But most important was the faint traces of blood red lipstick that hadn't quite been wiped away properly, scattered around most of her face in suspiciously kiss-shaped marks. "Seems to me like someone—" she giggled when he playfully booped her nose with his finger "—has already gotten her after-nap kisses. But... I supposed you are the birthday girl today so I think I can make an exception just this once." The next second he was absolutely covering every available part of her face he could get at in childish kisses as Joshlynn squealed happily in his arms.
A tired sigh brought Chris's attention back to the kitchen floor, or more appropriately, the area in front of the snack cupboard he had been dealing with just a few moments before. He watched her with more relief than he would like to admit as she struggled with the same baby lock herself, thankful that he wasn't the only one who had problems with that stupid piece of plastic in particular. Okay yes, she managed to get it open on her third try when his had certainly failed, but the fact that she even had to have a couple of go's at it was a wonderful balm to soothe his poor, bruised ego.
"You know full well it’s not even her birthday today," she pointed out as she handed him the package of Joshlynn's favourite puffed snacks.
"Of course I know that Ash," he responded back playfully as he shifted Joshlynn to one side so he could grab for the package and hopefully keep it out of her grabby and excited little hands as she reached eagerly for them anyway. He knew it would be a futile effort in the long run (despite her expected arm reach of only around a foot from her face, Chris personally thought it was somehow closer to three in his experience), but he would try nonetheless. Placing the container on the countertop as far from Joshlynn's grabby little hands as he could, he dug into the upper-cupboard where they stored the tupperware. "Just as you know that Josh's Halloween party is pulling double duty, so that also makes her the birthday girl. Everyone that's gonna be there for her knows that her actual birthday was yesterday."
"I'm not one hundred percent convinced that Josh knows honestly."
Chris laughed as he handed her a suitable enough container to pour some of the puff snacks into, once she managed to tug that out of Joshlynn's possessive grasp of course. He didn't know when their daughter had grabbed it or how, but it was definitely in her arms now as she tried desperately to open the package and stuff her face. "Oh he knows, he just refuses to admit it."
"He tried to change the date of birth on the birth registration Chris," Ashley responded flatly once she had miraculously managed to work the snacks out of her daughter's tight grip. "The only reason we got the correct birth certificate in the first place was because one of the nurses realized that the date didn't match their own records. It was a miracle that he didn't get caught or charged with fraud for trying to falsify a legal document."
Chris couldn't help the surprised bark of laughter. "Oh fuck, I forgot about that! Christ, dude sulked for days after the birth. I didn't think he'd ever forgive you."
"Yeah, well I'd like to see him try and hold in a nearly eight-pound human who decided that she was going to be born now and not in another five minutes like he wanted. So he can suck it." Ashley looked down at the now half-filled container. "Do you think this will be enough?"
Chris shrugged. "I mean, Sam did promise us that she was gonna make sure that there was gonna be lots of fruits and veggies for her to eat, so we should be okay. Plus, it's pretty likely that we're only going to be there for a couple hours in the first place."
"I know, I know." Despite her best efforts, Ashley had begun to worry at her bottom lip with her teeth, so all her carefully reapplied lipstick was getting ruined again. "It's just, what if something goes wrong and Joshlynn refuses to eat any of it, she's going through a picky period right now. She even refused to eat her grilled cheese for lunch yesterday if you can believe it."
Before Chris can say a word, Joshlynn had very much decided that she was done being ignored. And having had her favourite treats ripped right out of her hands before she could even eat them, Joshlynn proceeded with her second favourite past-time, tugging her father's glasses off of him and awkwardly trying to put them on her much, much smaller face. Once she had them so she was at least able to sort of see out the lenses, she turned to where Ashley was now closing the lid on the freshly filled tupperware container. And, as usual, she shrieked excitedly as though she had only just now realized how close her mother had been and was seeing her for the first time ever.
"Momma! Momma! Momma!" Joshlynn screamed happily as she let go of her precarious hold on the frames and leaned as far forward in Chris's arms as she possibly could with her arms outstretched to go and see Ashley.
In a well practiced—even if not entirely smoothly transitioned—move, Chris caught his glasses in one hand before they could fall any further at the same time he twisted and loosened his hold so he could hand his daughter to Ashley. And the second Joshlynn was in Ashley's arms, she had wrapped her own small arms around her mother's neck in a desperate and tight hug.
Ashley could only sigh in amusement as she watched Chris wipe the lenses of his glasses with the clean kitchen towel hanging nearby. "She's definitely going to be needing her own pair of glasses pretty soon, huh?"
"Oh yeah," Chris agreed as he held his glasses up to inspect them. While the kitchen towel certainly hadn't been the best fabric for the job, it had at least cleaned off a majority of the tiny fingerprints that now littered the surface. Satisfied, he put them back on. "Got my fabulous genes to blame for that one. Kiddo may have managed to get your eyes, but also inherited my vision. You win some, you lose some when it comes down to the genetic lottery I suppose."
"Oh, I don't know..." Ashley gave a shy smile, her cheeks just the slightest bit pink, "If you ask me, I always thought that your glasses only made you cuter."
Chris couldn't quite help the pleased set of his shoulders, or the wide and thrilled grin as he put the snacks back into its baby (and parent) proofed home, locking it tight behind him. "So what you're saying then is that with those eyes under some thick and colourful frames, that she's absolutely going to be stealing hearts left, right, and center." He let out a short snicker as he put the tupperware of treats into the diaper bag, along with the change of clothes that Ashley had laid out on the kitchen table. "Not that's she's going to need to steal any hearts mind you, already stole the only one worth stealing if you ask me."
Ashley rolled her eyes as she adjusted their daughter, and Joshlynn turned her face so she could watch her father move around the kitchen packing away everything else that they were going to need. "Let me guess, the heart she stole was yours?"
"Pfft, god no," Chris scoffed cheerfully, "kind difficult to steal considering you had already unknowingly took it for yourself when I was like, sixteen or something. Plus, I eagerly gave her what little you had left me the second we found out you were finally pregnant. Nah, I was talking about Josh. She wasn't even three months old when she successfully managed to steal the heart of her muli-millionare uncle. Kid's quite literally set for life now!"
"Joss? Joss? Joss?"
Ashley laughed when Joshlynn lit up at the sound of her uncle's name, eagerly looking around the room for him. "He does spoil her, doesn't he?"
"Please Ash, he doesn't just spoil her: he spoils her rotten." Bag all packed up and ready to go, Chris threw the diaper bag over his shoulder and grabbed the sippy cup of juice off the table as he walked back towards them. The sight of which immediately had Joshlynn stopping her search for her namesake as she reached out eagerly and desperately for the cup. He handed it over with little fanfare or fight, and it wasn't long before she was drinking happily out of it. Chris started to make his usual gesture of affectionately ruffling the hair on the top of her head, but stopped himself at the bat-eared hood that prevented him from doing so. Instead he flicked at one of the bat ears and chuckled.
"Hey, Ash?"
Recognizing that tone of voice in an instant, Ashley gave such a long-suffering sigh that he was amazed that there was any air left in her. "Oh god help me."
"Until we get her glasses, Joshlynn's basically blind as a bat." She didn't respond other than to just groan loudly and painfully, but he could also easily see the smile she was struggling to hold back as she turned to walk away from him to the front door to put her shoes on. The very one that he had spent years of his life trying to pull out of her every chance he got, so it only spurred him on as he followed her.
"In fact, she's a real ankle-biter. She just can't crypt getting into trouble. Probably gonna drive us both batty one day."
"You're gonna drive me batty, you absolute pain in the neck."
Chris gave a cry of delight as he clutched his hands to his heart. "Marry me Ashley Brown."
"Well I've got good news for you then."
"Marry me again."
Whatever response Ashley had planned, was very quickly forgotten by the series of giggles that their daughter had let out at her parent's antics. Which only had Chris beaming. "Well, it seems at least someone knows the pinnacle of humour when she hears it."
"Great," Ashley deadpanned, "just what I always wanted. A kid with not only her father's terrible eyesight, but his awful sense of humor. It's every mother’s dream come true."
"Oi," Chris objected as he shifted the bag so he could grab at their coats, "we both know that you count resist these quality jokes."
Ashley couldn't help it any longer, the laugh that Chris had been trying to get out of her finally burst free and Chris could only beam proudly as he grabbed Joshlynn so she could put her coat on. "Fine, you win. The pity laugh you so deserve."
"Pity?!" Chris choked out in false affront, the wide smile on his face belaying just how little he actually believed her words.
"Yes, pity .” Ashley stared down at her shoes by the door, and the teasing smile dropped. “Before we leave, I want to make sure that we're still on the same page regarding the party." He opened his mouth to try and make yet another terrible pun, but Ashley cut him off before he could. "I'm being serious right now Chris. Please."
Immediately sobering up, Chris nodded seriously. "Yeah, course we are Ash. We're going to enjoy the party, handing out candy to all the trick-or-treaters that pop by as Joshlynn basks in all the attention that half of the fawning party goers are going to shower her in. But the second she starts getting fussy, or uncomfortable, or cranky; we're gone. No ands, ifs, or buts. No matter what Josh says to try and convince us to stay, our daughter's comfort and boundaries are more important than any one of his Halloween parties."
Ashley let out a breath of relief so strong that her shoulders slackened, clearly happy to know that they were still on the same page. Once she finally had her shoes on, she took back their daughter so Chris could grab the diaper bag from where he had put it on the floor. "Thank you. I mean it, Chris. Thank you."
Chris tried to ignore how hot his ears still burned every time Ashley looked at him with that expression filled with nothing but pure love and heartfelt trust. "You shouldn't have to thank me for that, you know," he mumbled out.
Ashley's answer was to give him a quick peck on the cheek in appreciation anyways.
In order to try and distract her from seeing how much a simple and friendly kiss (from his own wife at that!) still turned him into an awkward and bumbling mess even now, Chris tried to change the subject as he grabbed at his keys hanging by the front door. "So...how likely do you think it is that Josh actually followed through on his promise to tone down on the horror this year? I mean, we both know that 'tone it down' with him just means going from triple-A horror to campy B-movie bloodbath. Do you think instead of the fountain filled with what looks suspiciously like actual pig's blood, it’ll just be filled with the extremely fake looking red syrup instead?"
Ashley laughed as she opened the door to leave. "You're not wrong, but Sam texted me a couple of days ago to let me know that she had all but forced her way into the decorating crew this year to make sure that he kept his promise. So I think we're safe for once."
Stopping to lock the door behind him, Chris snorted. "So what you're saying is that the chances of a disturbingly realistic severed head coming down from the ceiling when I open a door has been reduced by at least twenty-five percent." Apartment door officially locked behind him, Chris grabbed at the hand Ashley offered him. Tangling their fingers together in the way that would always feel just felt so right as they walked down the hall, a vampire family of three. "That's the most promising thing you could have told me."