Work Text:
Tobio scrubbed a rag over a stubborn spot on the metal countertop, making a mental list of the assignments he needed to complete once his shift was over.
He glanced at the clock.
18:27
Only a half hour til he could make his escape. And he needed to pick up groceries on his way home. A brief glance around the café found it empty, few people were looking for their coffee fix at this time. There might be some students trickling in later in search of caffeine to fuel them through their late assignments, but they would be his co-workers' problem.
The bell over the door jingled cheerfully and Kageyama spun on his heel, greeting the customer as they made their way across the shop. Although much of the man’s face was concealed by a mask, his carefully disheveled hair and stylishly draped scarf were potently familiar.
A dull pang ached in Tobio’s chest, quickly brushed aside as he moved to the counter. He really needed to stop getting worked up by every person who sort of resembled his ex.
The customer nodded to him without really looking at him, same as most customers, and squinted at the menu. After a long moment of considering the wide variety of drinks, he turned to properly face Kageyama and the intense, direct eye contact nearly made him shudder.
“Sorry to make you wait on me, I’m just thinking of trying something new and-”
Tobio froze, his immediate panic creating a sharp ringing in his ears that drowned out whatever his actual ex boyfriend - who should not, under any circumstances, be ordering coffee from him right now- was saying.
He was caught like a deer in the headlights, comprehending nothing as he remained petrified under Tooru Oikawa’s unknowing stare, watching the man’s mouth move with words he couldn’t hear.
-
A door slammed in his memory, the echo fading to leave him painfully alone in a room silent enough to suffocate the air from his lungs. It felt as though he’d been hollowed out from within and left completely empty, all he could hear was his own heartbeat pounding in his ears.
His cheeks were wet.
-
Tobio snapped back to the present, slightly dazed and still on the brink of losing it. Only to find Oikawa still in the midst of a monologue, apparently completely unaware of who he was or his current crisis. Relief battled with a sharp pain twisting in his chest.
Oikawa finally ordered an unnecessarily complicated drink with four modifications, whatever he’d explained at length now completely lost to Kageyama.
He managed to ring him up for his drink without speaking thanks to Oikawa’s impatient nature and tendency to run his mouth. Mumbling his apologies along with a high pitched, “Have a nice day!” Tobio tensed as he watched Oikawa wander away from him toward the pick-up bar, expecting him to turn back at any moment with newfound recognition in his eyes.
But the man didn’t even pause.
-
Only a few feet separated them, but he couldn’t bring himself to close the distance. His aching heart begged for relief, urging him to stumble forward and seek out comfort from the person he’d become so used to turning to.
The person he’d foolishly dreamed to be the love of his life, who’d convinced him to really open up and be vulnerable and had taken the time to invest in him and love him.
He was still standing in front of him, but he wasn’t.
They’d stood in this room together countless times over a year of being together, but any hint of familiarity had warped, becoming strange and unrecognizable.
“I can’t do this anymore.”
That was his favourite voice in the world, but somehow it sounded like a stranger’s, as if the man in front of him was someone he didn’t even know.
-
Minutes passed, one of his coworkers finished Oikawa’s drink and handed it over to him, he turned and left the shop without another word, or even a glance in Tobio’s direction.
The door clanged shut behind him and the pain in his chest ignited anew, leaving him hollow in a way he hadn’t been in a long time.
Maybe they were really strangers now.
And he couldn’t even say for sure that he would have rather been recognized and had to truly face him.
--
Tobio shuffled back and forth between the back of house and the cafe line with dishes, putting away clean ones and removing more that still needed to be washed. The task required little concentration so he’d allowed his mind to wander and found himself checking the clock obsessively.
For three weeks in a row now, Oikawa had shown up at his cafe, at the same time, every Wednesday. The first week he’d nearly had a panic attack in his presence, the second week Kageyama had been on bar and only been tasked with preparing his ex’s drink and passing it out with a very neutral “Have a nice day!” in a voice that didn’t sound much like his. The week prior he’d had the day off, but the next time he came in one of his over enthusiastic, and nosy, coworkers informed him that not only had Oikawa come into the shop, he had asked for him.
To make matters worse they also said he seemed “disappointed” when he was informed that the “grumpy tall guy” wasn’t on shift.
He knew his ex well enough to know that the man liked routines, and this was apparently becoming his newest one. Anxiety churned in his gut and he chewed his lip, wondering if Oikawa had figured him out and asked after him because he wanted to pick a fight.
Every time they’d interacted so far, Tobio had kept his mask on, between that and his unruly bangs that were three weeks overdue for a trim, it wouldn’t be easy to recognize him, but Oikawa wasn’t exactly a casual acquaintance.
It was only a matter of time before he figured it out.
“What’s going on with you? You’re thinking so hard I can see you sweating.” A calm but firm voice startled him from his thoughts and halted him in his tracks.
Spinning around, Kageyama faced his friend, Keiji Akaashi, who he’d forgotten was seated at the study bar attached to the end of the cafe line. He opened and closed his mouth repeatedly, before finally sighing. “It’s complicated.”
Akaashi didn’t look up from his laptop, continuing to type at breakneck speed. “Simplify it.”
“It’s not that easy!” He argued, running a hand through his hair. “My ex keeps coming in here and talking to me, only he doesn’t realize it’s me.”
A moment of complete silence passed, the clicking of keys utterly ceasing before Akaashi shut his laptop carefully and raised his gaze with the blankest and most unidentifiable stare Kageyama had ever seen. “Your ex, Tooru Oikawa? How does he not know? Have you hid it from him?”
Kageyama winced and nodded, ducking his head as he prepared to be scolded.
But no comment ever came, and when he peeked up, he found his friend staring expectantly.
“Listen it’s like-I-he came in here right? And it’s my job, I didn’t want to cause a scene and he didn’t notice and it was a one time thing so it wasn’t worth bringing it up, but then it wasn’t a one time thing.” He glanced up at the clock, “ And if he’s as punctual as usual, he’ll be here any minute.”
“This is poor judgement, Kageyama-san.”
“You think I don’t know that?” Tobio hissed, moving closer to his friend and lowering his voice before he started panicking. “But I don’t want to deal with it here, at my job. ”
The bell on the door chimed and Kageyama jerked up, turning to greet whoever had entered. Much to his dismay, he’d been absolutely right and Tooru Oikawa was once again standing in his cafe.
Instead of heading for the registers to order, Oikawa beelined directly towards where he was standing with Akaashi.
With every step, Kageyama’s heart pounded in his ears, his panic rising as he became increasingly convinced that this was it, Oikawa was going to rip him to pieces and he was going to cry in public.
The brunette stopped a few feet away and waved cheerfully, “Hello again! It’s been a couple weeks since I saw you last, how are you?”
Tobio made the mistake of glancing at Akaashi and found the man staring down his nose at him despite him literally standing over him. Diverting his attention back to Oikawa, he waved back weakly, thanking every god in existence that his mask prevented him from having to be expressive, and shrugged as an answer.
“Truly riveting,” Oikawa nodded sagely, turning his attention to Akaashi sitting at the bar. “Hello! Are you two friends?” He asked, making no apologies or even attempts to not seem nosy.
To his credit, Akaashi didn’t hesitate for even a second. “Yes, we attend the same university. I tutored him in math, he’s quite hopeless at it, and we’ve been friends since.”
Kageyama wasn’t surprised that Akaashi was a good liar, but he was still impressed by the ease and confidence with which he carried himself. Keeping quiet and still to not risk drawing Oikawa’s attention back to himself, he found himself studying his ex more closely than he’d been able to the last couple times he’d seen him.
He was the same old Oikawa, perfectly messy hair and absurdly coordinated outfit that was probably the third one he put on that morning, but at the same time, there were differences. His frame seemed thinner than it used to be, something about his sharp jaw and the hollows of his cheeks less sculpted and more sickly.
Shoving the urge to ask if he was okay deep within his heart and burying it under all his fear, Tobio held his tongue and sunk back into his thoughts, tuning out Oikawa’s enthusiastic chatter and Akaashi’s polite responses. Emotions welled in his chest, leaving tears burning behind his eyes as memories flooded him again.
-
Opening his door to a dark apartment day after day, even with all the lights on it seemed stale and dim as he sat there alone, in silence, checking his phone only to see every message marked as read.
But no responses.
Never any responses, never any silly knocks on his door, never returning his calls.
Even in the rare moments they were together, sitting side by side, it still felt like Oikawa wasn’t even there, like he couldn’t be bothered to even acknowledge him. Every time he left it was like the distance between them grew and the person he loved disappeared piece by piece.
Sometimes it felt like Oikawa was taking pieces of him with him.
-
A clap launched him from his memories and back into the present, leaving Tobio blinking away the vivid images playing in slow motion before his eyes.
Oikawa stood in front of him with his hands clasped together; he bobbed a short bow. “Thank you for letting me interrupt your conversation, my workplace is mostly just me so I’ve been a little starved for human contact lately. “ His words were cheerful and laughing, diminishing his loneliness to a joke.
Some things never changed.
More out of polite instinct than anything else, Kageyama bowed his head in answer. “No trouble at all.” Sharp pin pricks assaulted his heart as Oikawa’s eyes creased and he could tell that beneath the other man’s mask he was smiling.
“Well anyway, I’ll stop dawdling and order now so I can get out of your hair for today at least.” Oikawa moved around the counter towards the registers, with Kageyama following him as reluctantly as he could without it being obvious.
Only a minute or two passed, with awkward stilted responses leaving his lips, none of them deterring Oikawa from blathering on inanely, and as he collected his drink, his ex headed out of the cafe with a pleasant farewell and enthusiastic wave.
The sight was becoming a little too familiar for his comfort, not just because of the ache that remained in his chest after watching him leave.
“You’re acting much stupider than you truly are, Kageyama-san.”
Groaning, Kageyama turned to face his friend again, “I told you it was complicated.”
Akaashi leaned forward to rest his elbows on the bar, settling his chin on top of his hands. “You weren’t listening to hardly anything that we talked about, were you?”
“...No.” Tobio replied hesitantly, avoiding eye contact.
“You need to talk to him properly.” Akaashi said sternly, his eyes boring holes straight through him. “You need to tell him what’s really going on here, before things become an unstoppable disaster.”
The weight resting on his shoulders increased somehow, making him wish he could just melt into the ground. Apparently it was more obvious that he thought because Akaashi’’s face softened ever so slightly.
“You’ll figure it out.”
“I hope so.”
--
Rain pounded against the large windows fixed in the front wall of the store, tapping out a persistent, unrelenting melody that filled the empty space. Something about the pleasant white noise soothed the restless thoughts that had been plaguing him for weeks. It certainly didn’t hurt that the weather had kept the cafe deserted his entire shift.
Few were willing to risk getting soaked braving the downpour, which had left him a rather easy Wednesday. Part of him was hoping it would keep Oikawa away too, but knowing him as well as he once did, he doubted it.
With a quiet jingle and an increased roar of the storm, the door of the cafe swung open and a bedraggled figure stumbled through the door.
The universe loved opportunities, didn’t it?
For a moment, Tobio struggled to find the Oikawa he knew in the dripping wet and thoroughly pathetic man standing just inside the door, hesitating in a way that was truly unlike him. Puddles trailed after him as he squelched across the room in unsure steps, and Tobio almost had to choke back a laugh just from how utterly strange and unfamiliar he seemed.
The sight of water dripping from his hair triggered a fresh burst of memory to the front of his mind.
-
His fingers woven together with Tooru’s, tripping over his own feet as he tugged him out into the rain. The freezing droplets began soaking his clothes immediately, but the laugh that spilled from his partner’s lips was enough to warm him deep in his chest.
“Dance with me?”
And how could he refuse? He had no idea how to dance, but that wouldn’t stop him from doing anything to see Oikawa smile at him like a little kid, forgetting to care about how he looks for a moment and letting all his joy spill free.
-
Though the memory was happy, it felt bittersweet.
Oikawa slowed to a halt farther from the counter than he usually did, looking almost lost, as if he’d never been there before.
“Uh, are you okay?” Kageyama asked, walking around the counter to cautiously approach him, but Oikawa gave no indication he even heard him. Reaching forward, he grasped his arm and began guiding him towards the nearest seat.
Barely reacting even when he was touched, Oikawa followed his lead and dropped into the chair without argument, which was almost more concerning. Not to mention, the brunette was truly soaked to the bone and beginning to shake.
“Just sit here, I’ll be right back.” Kageyama said quietly, attempting a soothing tone. He jogged to the backroom and yanked an entire stack of towels off the rack, pausing briefly to grab his own jacket before returning to where he left Oikawa.
The towels were little more than glorified washcloths, but they were better than nothing. He put one in Oikawa’s hand and nudged him to wipe off his face, then pushed him back up out of his seat and towards the bathroom with a few more, and his jacket. While he dropped a few others on the small puddle that had formed beneath the chair.
Not long after, Oikawa wandered back out of the bathroom with a small wet bundle in his hands and his shirt replaced with Tobio’s dry jacket. He walked back over to where Kageyama was still waiting and slumped into the seat again. “I’m-Thank you, I’m-” Voice choking, Oikawa ducked his head, failing to conceal watery eyes.
“Are you okay?” Tobio asked, his concern intensifying by the moment.
Oikawa collapsed onto the table in front of him, burying his head in his hands as he burst into sobs. “I’m so sorry, work has been running me ragged working overtime, I’m spending days on end alone in a lab with no one to talk to, then I go home to my empty apartment and I don’t have the energy to go out so I never see anyone and-”
Words just kept spilling from Oikawa as torrentially as the rain outside the cafe, seemingly unending. “-this week has been just one thing after another, all my data was ruined, I got locked out of my house, the rain . I just don’t know what to do, Tobio.”
Ice filtered through his veins and Kageyama went rigid, the sound of his first name falling from Oikawa’s lips catching him completely off guard. “Wh-what?” He stuttered.
A pained noise left Oikawa’s lips, and his tears seemed to increase impossibly. “I’m so sorry, that’s my ex’s name, you remind me of him, and I guess I’m not really over him and it just slipped out. God you’re a literal stranger, I’m so sorry to-”
“It’s okay,” Kageyama cut him off, trying not to let his voice shake, “We all have bad days sometimes, don’t worry about it.”
Sniffling, Oikawa swiped his sleeve -or rather, Kageyama’s sleeve- over his cheeks. “Um, we haven’t really actually talked before. But y’know, you could tell me some stuff about you so we’re not strangers anymore.”
Tobio laughed, a little stifled, but genuine, and for the first time since Oikawa reentered his life, he relaxed just a little bit. “I’m not sure where to begin, there’s not much interesting about me.”
“How long have you worked here?” Oikawa asked, still not quite meeting his eyes.
Honestly, that made it easier to talk to him than if he was directing all his attention to him. “A few months.”
“Do you like it?”
Considering the question, Kageyama leaned back in his seat to formulate a reply. That pattern continued until well after his shift ended; Oikawa asking inane and vague questions, himself offering pleasant and mostly honest replies.
Maybe it was selfish of him, but so much had changed since their breakup, and it was nice to just talk to him about his life.
--
The week sped by, days disappearing in a haze of homework, actual work, and thinking about Tooru Oikawa. It had been a long time since Oikawa had occupied so many of his daily thoughts, even compared to the last few weeks. Wednesday arrived once again and he found that part of him was actually a little excited to see him again.
A spirited jingle of the door at exactly the right time caught his attention, but he forced himself not to jump to look and appear like he was anticipating him.
He was, but Oikawa didn’t need to know that.
“Well if it isn’t my favourite barista, “ Oikawa drawled, when Kageyama finally did look up. “How’s it going today?”
He shrugged noncommittally, “You seem like you’re feeling better.”
“Certainly better now that I’ve seen you,” Oikawa replied with a wink, “You’re practically the sun, shining it’s benevolent rays on the pitiful flowers like me, wilting far below, and bringing me back to life”
As dramatic and playful as his words were, his behaviour was too familiar to Tobio, summoning memories of early in their relationship. When Tooru would tease him with flirty, overdone lines, and he would smile awkwardly, flattered but unsure of how to respond. Though his confidence had grown and he was better at hiding his awkwardness, Kageyama still didn’t know how to respond.
He wasn’t even sure how to feel about the revelation that Oikawa was flirting with him.
Except, of course, the guilt that gnawed at him for not telling him who he was.
“Okay so, this might be a little insane, but can I ask you something?”
Tobio tipped his head to the side and scrutinized Oikawa’s expression, finding little clue to what he was going to say. A ripple of anxiety coursed through his body but he ignored it and nodded.
“I know last time I saw you and I like, sobbed everywhere and dripped all over your floor and stole your jacket, all of which I am deeply grateful for your assistance with. I also told you I’m not over my ex, which is a whole thing, but, would you be open to going on a date with me?”
Every muscle in his body tensed as he stared blankly, processing the reality of his ex asking him on a date. Nausea churned in his stomach, sending bile rising in the back of his throat. “You don’t even know my name.”
Oikawa tipped his head back and laughed. “Okay? Even if you have the ugliest name ever it’s not really an upfront dealbreaker.”
“No, you don’t understand.” Kageyama argued, lowering his voice and leaning towards him across the counter.
The brunette’s brow furrowed. “Explain it then?” He asked, or really, gently demanded.
His lungs felt tight, starved for air but unable to properly breath as he unhooked his mask and pulled it away from his face, letting Oikawa see him fully for the first time since they’d “met”.
A beat of silence went on too long, then he blinked and the door was slamming shut on Oikawa’s heels. And he was left alone, watching him leave.
Again.
The world spun, dark spots creeping into his vision, as all consuming self-hatred set it.
-
“You’re so annoying, Tobio-chan. We should date.”
“What?”
“I said we should date.”
“But you don’t even like me.”
“True, but I think I might be falling in love with you.”
At the time, a shy voice in his mind hoped that Oikawa really meant it, but was scared to believe that he did.
-
Months of pretending that Tooru wasn’t living with one foot out the door bubbled over into an emotional battle of wills between two extremely stubborn people.
He’d been watching him leave, piece by piece, fading from his life in small ways that added up to big ways until he was alone even when they sat in the same room. It had been so long since the last time Tobio had heard him laugh, he could barely remember it.
He could remember the last time he said “I love you.”
It was casual, but genuine, accompanying Tooru’s wish for him to have sweet dreams that night. There was nothing wrong with how he’d said it.
But he hadn’t realized it would be the last time.
In hindsight, it felt like he hadn’t appreciated it enough.
Both of them had run out of words, things felt unfinished but neither knew how to do it.
“Maybe it’s selfish, but can you tell me that you love me? Just one last time.”
“I love you, Tobio.”
He squeezed his eyes shut, tears spilling over and streaming down his cheeks. “I love you too.”
When he opened them again, there was no one there.
-
Nothing had sucked as bad as being left, he was not going to do that shit again, not without a fight. “I’ll be back!” Tobio shouted over his shoulder to his coworker, jumping over the counter and tearing out the door after Tooru. Sprinting down the street, he desperately scanned the crowd, eyes finally landing on familiar hair.
The uneven concrete tripped him more than once, but Tobio managed to catch up, grabbing Tooru’s arm and yanking him to a stop. “Fuck, wait! Please!”
“Why should I?” Tooru snarled, yanking his arm out of Kageyama’s grip but not moving to leave.
“I-”
Tooru didn’t give him a chance to properly reply. “Was this funny to you? You knew it was me the whole time and just decided not to tell me?”
It hurt a little that he even thought Tobio would find joy in torturing him, but he couldn’t really blame him for being hurt. “No! I-I was scared to tell you.” He defended himself weakly, dropping his gaze.
Silence.
But Tooru remained in the same place, he hoped it meant that he believed him. It couldn’t get any worse so he could at least take this chance and put himself out there. Clenching his fists, Tobio drew in a deep breath to summon his courage. “Look, I know you were asking out the awkward barista you don’t really know and not,” He waved a hand at himself, “Me. But...I missed you. I liked talking to you, and seeing you, once the anxiety kind of faded.”
Pausing, Tobio lifted his head and met Tooru’s eyes, finding them far softer than he was expecting, but unreadable. “I, uh, wanted to say yes, but I had to tell you the truth. I get if you want to tell me to fuck off and never see me-”
“Can I kiss you?” Tooru cut him off, taking a step forward.
Something fluttery filled his chest in the second that he processed what he’d said, but rather than respond, he stepped forward as well. Surprise flickered over Tooru’s face as Tobio cupped his jaw in his hands and crashed their lips together. He recovered quickly and shot his hands out to fist Tobio’s shirt, yanking him even closer and tilting his head to deepen the kiss.
It would be inaccurate to call things between them resolved, there was still healing left to do and likely old problems they had yet to outgrow, but something about the soft friction of Tooru’s lips giving way under his felt like coming home.
And it tasted like a new beginning.