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“My...neck ruffles?”
“Your neck thing. Ruffles. Ascot. Whatever it is.”
“A cravat.”
“Yeah. Cravat.”
“You want to know...where do I get them?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“Uh…” Phoenix stalled, pressing the phone between his shoulder and his ear. He could tell Edgeworth the truth--that Trucy had asked, no, begged her father to let her dress up as her favorite Uncle Miles for Halloween, and while Phoenix could scramble together child-sized outfit pieces for the majority of Edgeworth’s classic getup, he had no idea where to get the neck ruffles. Ascot. Cravat. Whatever it is. But telling Edgeworth the truth would be mortifying--what kind of dad lets their kid dress up as their family friend for Halloween?
Trucy was a weird kid. Phoenix understood that through and through, and loved that about her. But she was also incredibly stubborn, and she knew the kind of sway she held over her father. So though Phoenix tried to convince her to go as a witch, or a princess, or a superhero, or any other regular thing a regular 10-year-old would want to be, Trucy wouldn’t budge. And so, Phoenix was here, asking his oldest and dearest friend where he gets his cravats.
Phoenix could feel Edgeworth getting impatient on the other end. “I’m just curious,” he finally said. “I think they’re...neat. Was maybe interested in trying one for myself,” he lied. He felt his cheeks redden with embarrassment. Edgeworth probably thought he was going insane. He had absolutely no use for a cravat, considering his wardrobe currently consisted of sweats and a bright blue beanie.
But instead of derisive laughter from the other end, Phoenix heard something else. Something almost like...surprise? Edgeworth was silent for a few moments. “I, um,” he finally started. “Well, there’s a haberdashery in town that I frequent. They do good work. But, um,” Edgeworth hesitated, “they do not come cheap.”
Phoenix sighed. Of course. “That’s no matter,” he lied again. “Where is this...hamentashery?”
“Haberdashery,” Miles corrected. “I can...show you, if you’d like. The owner is German-speaking, so it might be easier if I went along. If that’s okay with you.”
Phoenix’s eyes went wide. How did he end up here? He just wanted to know where he could find a cravat for his daughter’s embarrassing Halloween costume, and now he had been roped into a cravat-buying date--no, Phoenix corrected himself, outing--with the man he had been secretly harboring feelings for for decades. This kid was going to be the end of him, he swore.
“Sounds great!” he replied instead, hoping his mock-cheerfulness masked his dread. “I can catch you on a lunch break, or something. My schedule’s pretty free. As you know.”
“That works for me. Let’s say Tuesday.”
“Perfect.”
“Excellent. But I have to ask, Wright…” Edgeworth trailed off. Phoenix’s blood ran cold. Edgeworth had to know something was up.
“Anything! Ask away.”
“Why...why are you particularly interested in cravats, all of a sudden? Forgive me for being forward, but your current...line of work...doesn’t require something so...formal.”
Phoenix let out a nervous laugh. “You’re right,” he responded. “But, uh…I was thinking I might want to get out there a bit more, look for some office jobs or something.” He was no longer a lawyer, but his bluffing skills were still top-notch. Old habits die hard.
“Okay,” Edgeworth replied, not totally convinced. “But certainly you still have your suits and ties from...earlier,” he trailed off.
“Yeah, but I just thought...I might want something more professional. Something to really wow people. I mean, they make you look really good, so I thought--” Phoenix stopped himself, mind catching up with his mouth. Shit.
“Well,” came Edgeworth’s stunted reply, but instead of sounding scornful, it seemed like he was caught off guard. “I, um, appreciate that. Very well. I shall see you Tuesday.” With a flustered goodbye, Edgeworth hung up.
Phoenix set his phone down and stared at the wall in front of him. What the fuck did I just get myself into? he thought, trying to calm his beating heart. He turned his gaze towards the pile of clothing on the living room sofa--all the pieces of Trucy’s Edgeworth costume were there, save one. The most important one. Phoenix sighed. He’d do anything for her. Even go on a weird menswear date--outing--with his friend-slash-rival-slash-secret crush.
He sank down in his chair and put his hands over his eyes. Anything for Trucy.
Tuesday came quicker than Phoenix would have liked. He stared into the bathroom mirror, still bewildered that he managed to get himself into a situation like this. Edgeworth had texted him earlier, confirming that they were to meet in the park across from the Prosecutor’s Office and walk over to the haberdashery together. It was considerate of him to propose the park, knowing as he did that Phoenix still felt awkward being around so many prosecutors, considering everything that had happened.
But Phoenix still felt ashamed. Ashamed of his disbarment, ashamed of who he had become in the time since then. It was an awkward subject between him and Edgeworth--Phoenix felt Edgeworth was disappointed in him, and Edgeworth didn’t know how to approach the situation in a manner delicate enough not to offend the hurt Phoenix. So it went mostly undiscussed between them, though both of them secretly wished they could talk about it. Maybe someday, Phoenix mused, when he was in a better head space.
Regardless, he had made a promise to his daughter to procure an Edgeworth outfit for her. And with Halloween only a week away, he couldn’t back out now. This cravat date--outing--was just a means to an end. Nothing more, nothing less. He hated lying to Edgeworth, but he couldn’t come clean. He couldn’t let Edgeworth know the real reason Trucy wanted to be him for Halloween. It was too much. So it was better to tell him a little white lie and pretend the cravat was for himself. That made more sense anyway, right?
Across the park, Phoenix saw a flash of burgundy through the trees and took a deep breath. Edgeworth was wearing a charcoal-colored peacoat over his usual suit, his cheeks slightly flushed from the October chill. It made him look adorable, Phoenix thought, before turning bright red himself. He hoped Edgeworth wouldn’t think anything of it.
“Afternoon, Wright,” Edgeworth greeted warmly. “You look...nice.”
If Phoenix’s cheeks weren’t already scarlet, they definitely were by now. “Thanks, Edgeworth. Thought I’d wear something more professional. For what we’re doing.” Phoenix had put on a button-down shirt and jeans, figuring it would be completely out of place--and unbelievable--for him to wear his normal sweatpants and hoodie to go pick out a cravat. It was the nicest he had looked in months, and it made him feel uncomfortable.
The two began walking, making idle small talk about the cases Edgeworth was working on or what was new in Phoenix and Trucy’s life, and for a moment, Phoenix forgot what they were there for. It felt nice, and almost normal, for the two of them to be walking together and catching up. But Phoenix’s heart rate began to increase as they rounded the corner and Edgeworth led him to a tiny shop, tucked in between two massive department stores.
Phoenix stalled. Edgeworth stopped, hand on the door handle, and gave him a quizzical look. “Sorry,” Phoenix breathed. “I’m just a little...nervous. I haven’t really been in a place like this. Especially not recently.” He looked down.
Edgeworth’s gaze turned soft, almost fond. “Understandable. Don’t worry, Wright, I’m good friends with the owner. Like I said, he doesn’t speak much English, so I’ll be doing most of the talking. It will be fine,” he reassured. Phoenix took a deep breath, swallowed, and followed his friend inside.
The shop was small, cozy, with dark wood paneling and a slightly musty air. The shopkeeper looked up from where he was arranging ties on a display and brightened upon recognizing Edgeworth. “Ah! Herr Edgeworth,” he greeted.
“Guten tag, Herr Müller,” Edgeworth responded. The two of them began conversing in rapid German. Phoenix took a moment to look around the room, marvelling at the various displays of menswear accessories. Looks like Edgeworth’s Heaven, he thought, chuckling softly to himself, as he surveyed the various ties, pocket squares, cufflinks, hats, and more. He did feel out of place, but he looked up just in time to catch Edgeworth glancing towards him, and a surge of warmth grew in his stomach. It was almost comforting.
The shopkeeper disappeared into a back room and soon returned, bringing a wooden display box back with him. He set it down on the counter in front of Edgeworth, who motioned for Phoenix to join him. Herr Müller lifted the lid and revealed an array of cravats in all different fabrics and colors. Edgeworth looked at him expectantly. “Now, I’m assuming you’ve never worn one before,” he whispered, “so why don’t we start with something simple.”
“Sure,” Phoenix croaked, suddenly aware of how close Edgeworth was to him. “I don’t need anything that fancy. Just something like what you typically have. That should be fine.”
Edgeworth chuckled, a small smile tweaking at the corner of his lips. “All right, then.” He skimmed his hand over the selection of cravats, long, delicate fingers playing at the various materials. Phoenix’s eyes were glued to his hands as Edgeworth selected a simple white cravat, pulling it out of the box and presenting it to Phoenix. “Matte silk,” he proffered.
“Looks great,” Phoenix responded, voice barely above a whisper. Why was it so hard to keep his cool?
“Let me teach you how to tie it.” Edgeworth quickly wrapped the length of silk around Phoenix’s neck and began making quick work of tying it, but Phoenix could barely listen and pay attention to what Edgeworth was saying. They were so close, closer than they had maybe ever been, and Phoenix felt so warm he could swear that Edgeworth could feel the heat coming off of him. Edgeworth’s eyes were half-lidded as he focused on his task. Phoenix had never felt more nervous in his life. It took all his willpower to remain still and not do something crazy like run away or reach out and kiss the man in front of him.
“There,” Edgeworth exhaled, smoothing out the knot and expertly straightening the ruffles. “Not bad,” he smirked. He turned to face the mirror that the shopkeeper had placed on the counter in front of them. “What do you think, Wright?”
Phoenix looked at himself. He smiled slightly. He thought that the white cravat on top of the white shirt made him look like some sort of pirate, or like--his eyes met Edgeworth’s in the mirror. “It looks good,” he breathed, noticing the sparkle in his friend’s eyes. “We match.”
Edgeworth cracked a smile. “I suppose we do,” hand reaching out to fix his own cravat before moving to untie Phoenix’s. “But isn’t that why you wanted one? You said it made me look so good, you had to have one for yourself,” he chided, nodding to the shopkeeper, who began wrapping the cravat up for purchase.
Phoenix laughed awkwardly. “I guess I did say that,” he sighed, reaching for his wallet.
Edgeworth stopped him. “This is my gift, Wright. Don’t worry about it.”
Phoenix was stunned, watching silently as Edgeworth handed over his credit card and picked up the small box the shopkeeper handed them. “Thank you,” Phoenix responded. “This is too kind, Edgeworth, really.”
“Nonsense,” the other man said as they walked back out into the autumn sunshine. “Think of it as my way of...encouraging you.”
Phoenix’s brow knit together in confusion. “Encouraging me?”
“In your job search.”
“Oh.” Phoenix’s heart sank. “Thanks,” he said flatly.
“Of course. I hope it all goes well.”
“Me too.”
“You know, I hadn’t quite figured out how to say it, but I was hoping you’d take the initiative and begin looking for something else. Something more...substantial, than your current job.” Edgeworth sounded nonchalant. “I’m proud of you.”
Phoenix’s cheeks burned with the praise, but a pit grew in his stomach. “Thanks, Edgeworth,” he mumbled, saying his goodbyes as they reached the Prosecutor’s Office. Returning home, the boxed cravat in his hand, Phoenix felt hollow. All the exhilaration he felt with Edgeworth earlier that day, all the comfort he had found in him had vanished. Edgeworth had made his true feelings known: he was indeed disappointed in Phoenix. And had been hoping he would do something else, other than play poker and stumble through piano tunes at the Borscht Bowl. Edgeworth was ashamed of Phoenix, just as Phoenix was ashamed of himself. And now he was proud of Phoenix for something he hadn’t done, something he would never do. Something he was too damn depressed and embarrassed to even think about doing. Never mind that he had a kid to feed and most days he could barely bring himself to get out of bed or take a shower.
Phoenix tossed the small box aside and placed the cravat on top of the rest of Trucy’s costume on the couch. The silk was soft in his fingers, but it made him feel all the more bitter. He couldn’t wait until the weekend was over, until Halloween was over, and he could burn the damn thing.
Thankfully, Trucy’s excitement at seeing the cravat and having her costume completed helped Phoenix to put aside his shame from the whole event. She buzzed with anticipation all week for night to fall on Halloween so they could go out trick-or-treating. Phoenix helped her put on her costume--he had to look up a video on how to tie a cravat, since he absolutely was not paying attention when Edgeworth showed him earlier. Trucy practically beamed as Phoenix affixed a small pair of reading glasses on her face, parting her hair down the middle and giving her makeshift bangs. She stuck out her chest and crossed her arms, a haughty scowl on her face. Phoenix couldn’t help but laugh. She really looked the part.
The two of them traipsed through the neighborhood, Phoenix wearing a black robe he hoped made enough of a costume for him. Multiple people asked Trucy who she was dressed up as, to which she responded with a smug “Chief Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth, of course!” The night was chilly, but Trucy seemed to have boundless energy as she always wanted to do just one block more. She was leading him down a route he was slightly unsure of, but she seemed to know exactly where she was going.
“Truce, don’t you think you’ve had enough for tonight?” Phoenix asked wearily as he trudged behind her.
“C’mon Daddy, just one more house!” She pointed to the large house in front of them, looming large on a hill. Something about it looked familiar, but he was too worn out to figure out what it was.
“You go up there, then. Daddy’s not climbing that hill.”
“But you have to! Pleeeeeeeeease?” she begged, looking up at him with puppy-dog eyes.
“Fine. Last house.” He truly could not say no to her.
There were a couple of pumpkins decorating the exterior of the house, and a few lights were on inside. Phoenix stood back as Trucy rang the doorbell and waited. He looked down and noticed the large cursive E on the doormat Trucy stood upon. He had a second for it to register in his mind before--
“Trick or treat!” Trucy yelled as the door opened. “Happy Halloween, Uncle Miles!”
Phoenix’s head snapped up to lock eyes with Edgeworth, dressed in a Steel Samurai costume and holding a bucket of candy. He offered a half-smile as Edgeworth turned his attention towards Trucy, taking a second to realize what she was wearing.
“Oh, my--” he started.
“I’m you!” Trucy chirped.
“Well, would you look at that?” Edgeworth knelt down to Trucy’s level, holding out his bucket of candy for her. “I’m flattered,” he smiled as she stuffed fistfuls of candy into the pillowcase she was lugging.
“Wait, Uncle Miles! Look!” Trucy suddenly said, pulling out a pair of devil horns from seemingly nowhere and putting them on her head. “The Demon Prosecutor!”
Edgeworth looked bewildered. Phoenix’s jaw dropped as he rushed to pull the horns off his daughter’s head. Trucy whirled around and laughed. “Where did you get those?!” Phoenix asked, incredulous. “And where were you hiding them?”
Trucy flashed a toothy grin. “A magician never reveals her secrets!”
Phoenix shot Edgeworth a mortified, apologetic look, and put his arms on Trucy’s shoulders. “I think we’ve had enough fun for tonight. Let’s get you home and into bed.”
“But we just got here!” Trucy protested, turning to Edgeworth. “Can’t we stay for a bit?”
Edgeworth smiled. “I don’t see why you can’t stay a while. I’ve got episodes of the Steel Samurai playing on the TV, if you’re interested.”
Trucy rushed inside. “Hey, don’t eat too much candy, you’ll be sick!” Phoenix called after her.
“I won’t!” came her response a few seconds later.
Edgeworth stepped aside. “Come in, Wright. How about a glass of wine?”
Phoenix sighed. “Why not.”
Edgeworth poured them each a glass of wine and they sat down at the dining table. Phoenix peeked towards Trucy in the living room; her eyes were glued to the screen and she seemed ready to doze off. Edgeworth cleared his throat. “Clever costume,” he remarked. “Whose idea was it?”
“Hers, actually,” he admitted. “I tried to talk her out of it, but she wouldn’t budge. She really likes you.”
“Well, I’m flattered.”
“I’m so sorry about the Demon Prosecutor thing--that was not supposed to be a part of it. I don’t even know where she heard about that, Maya probably told her, I’ll have to--”
“Wright. It’s okay,” Edgeworth interrupted. He took a sip of wine. “I actually found it quite funny.”
“I’m glad, but I didn’t.”
Edgeworth smiled. “It’s harmless. Kids love to push buttons.”
Phoenix sighed and glanced towards the living room. Trucy was fast asleep.
“She’s really something, isn’t she?” Edgeworth’s voice brought him back.
“Trucy?” Phoenix responded. “Yeah, she’s a riot. And she knows I’d do anything for her.”
Edgeworth nodded. The two of them sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments, sipping wine.
“So,” Edgeworth finally started. “The cravat, then…”
Phoenix looked away. “Yeah. I didn’t know how to tell you that it was for her. I also didn’t know that she wanted to show you. I had completely lost track of where we were when she said she wanted to come up here. But I guess it makes sense she’d want you to see her costume.”
“I’m glad you did. It’s touching, truly.” Edgeworth leaned forward and placed a hand on top of the one Phoenix had resting on the table. “And it’s always wonderful to spend time with you.”
Phoenix grew warm. He could only nervously smile in response, knowing what Edgeworth was likely going to ask next. He decided to preempt it. “The job thing,” he started. “That, um, isn’t true, either. I made that part up.”
Edgeworth’s brow furrowed. “I see.”
Phoenix withdrew his hand from the table and downed the rest of his wine. “So I can give you the cravat back and you can return it to the store, since I don’t really have a use for it after all. Or you could keep it for yourself.”
“No need. It’s yours.” Edgeworth shook his head.
Phoenix sighed. He eyed Edgeworth, catching his disconcerted expression. “Spare me the lecture, Edgeworth,” he mumbled.
“Lecture?”
“You don’t have to tell me how disappointed you are in me that I’m not looking for a different job. That I’m a lowlife, playing poker and shitty piano in a shitty bar for a living. I get it.”
“Wright,” Edgeworth said evenly.
“I get that you’re ashamed to know me and spend time with me, that you think I can do better, because I can. Except I can’t. I’m struggling to keep food on the table for my kid, and I feel like a piece of shit because I am one. I’m a disgraced former attorney who can’t turn his life around. I know all of that. I don’t need you to tell me.”
Edgeworth stared at him for a moment, expression confused. His heart ached for Phoenix, but he was unsure how to approach the subject. How he could help his friend. “I know what happened was unfortunate, but--” he began.
“What happened was fucking awful, Edgeworth! It ruined my life!” Phoenix lashed out at him, tears pricking his eyes. “I don’t know who I’m supposed to be anymore! I’ve disappointed everyone I love and instead of trying to do something about it, I can barely find the motivation to get out of bed every day.”
“Phoenix, stop.” Edgeworth moved forward and grabbed Phoenix’s trembling hands. Phoenix was so stunned by the action he couldn’t react. Edgeworth held them tightly, forcing them to still. “Do you know...how much it hurts me, to hear you talk about yourself like this?”
Phoenix had no words to counter Edgeworth’s sudden statement, so Edgeworth continued. “I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through, Phoenix. It sounds like a nightmare. The fact that you’re doing what you can is admirable enough.” Tears, hot and heavy, rolled down Phoenix’s cheeks. His mouth was open a bit, chest heaving with labored breaths as he tried to keep it together. What was Edgeworth saying? Why was he being so... gentle?
“I misspoke the other day.” Edgeworth averted his eyes slightly in shame. “When I said I was hoping you’d start looking for another job. I meant it as encouragement. But in reality, I hadn’t thought about it at all.”
“What?” Phoenix breathed, finally able to form a word.
“I said I was proud of you. And that point still stands. But I didn’t know how to tell you...I was proud of you for just getting by. For continuing to live your life, as hard as it may be.”
Phoenix’s brow furrowed in confusion. Edgeworth met his gaze once again, gray eyes burning.
“You know how I’ve reacted, in the past, when faced with life-changing circumstances. The fact that you’re still here, doing what you can, raising your daughter, being a friend to me...it’s a testament to your strength and resilience. You may no longer be a defense attorney, but you are still very much Phoenix Wright. As honorable and good a person as you always were. Even more so, I’d argue.”
Phoenix exhaled, training his eyes on Edgeworth. The man looked as sincere as ever--in fact, there was something in his gaze that Phoenix barely recognized, an uncharacteristic fondness that he rarely saw. They were so close, the air between them so thin. He closed his eyes and Edgeworth pressed their foreheads together in a way that he knew would be grounding to the other man.
“You’re a good man, Phoenix. I could never be ashamed of you,” he whispered. Phoenix could only nod in response.They sat there for several moments, breathing together, Edgeworth rubbing soothing circles into Phoenix’s hands with his thumbs.
The moment was so tender, so comforting, that neither of them heard the soft footsteps coming up to them a few minutes later. It wasn’t until a timid “Daddy?” reached them that they broke apart.
“Hey, Truce,” Phoenix responded, surreptitiously wiping his eyes. “What’s up?”
“I think I’m ready to go home now,” Trucy yawned.
“Alright then,” Phoenix affirmed with a chuckle and a small yawn of his own. “Let’s get you back home and ready for bed.”
Edgeworth dropped Phoenix’s hands and stood up. “I can give you both a ride back, if you’d like,” he offered. “It’s quite cold out, and a decent-sized walk.”
“That’d be wonderful. That’s so thoughtful,” Phoenix replied.
“Anything for you two.”
The ride home was quiet. Phoenix smiled as he noticed Trucy fall asleep in the backseat of the car almost instantly, the low rumble of the drive lulling her. He didn’t know what to say to Edgeworth--he was still decently stunned at what he said back in the dining room, and there was a part of him that still didn’t fully believe it. But it was Edgeworth, who rarely said anything he didn’t mean.
They arrived at Phoenix and Trucy’s place soon enough, and Edgeworth pulled over. “Here you are,” he stated plainly, glancing over at Phoenix.
“Here we are,” Phoenix repeated. He checked the backseat quickly--Trucy was still fast asleep--and then looked over at Edgeworth in the driver’s seat. “Thank you, Miles,” he said softly.
“Of course. Like I said, anything for you two.”
Phoenix looked down, at the hand he was resting on the center console. “But thank you, for what you said earlier.”
“I meant it.” Edgeworth placed his own hand on top of Phoenix’s, giving it a small squeeze. “You mean the world to me, Phoenix.”
Phoenix caught what looked like a blush on Edgeworth’s cheeks in the dim light of the street. “You too,” was all he could choke back. He turned around and placed a hand on Trucy’s knee. She blinked her eyes open. “We’re here, Truce.” She nodded and began gathering her things.
Edgeworth watched as Phoenix and Trucy got out of the car and walked to their front door, smiling a bit as Phoenix stopped to give a small wave goodbye. He was internally scolding himself for saying something as overt as You mean the world to me, Phoenix, but it seemed like the other man took it well. He had tried to be so careful with what he said to Phoenix, to comfort him without revealing too much of his own feelings. Maybe someday he’d be able to tell the full truth--that he cared so deeply for Phoenix, deeper than he cared for anyone or anything else, and that he couldn’t imagine a life without him--but knowing everything Phoenix was currently going through, it would be too much for him. All he could do was watch the man he loved ascend the stairs to his office/apartment, and hope his encouragement was enough to help Phoenix get by.
He had no idea how much it really meant.