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Hyunjae struggled to collect his bearings.
He doesn’t think he wants to collect them at all.
He just watched his best friend, his brother, slit his own throat in front of him, before collapsing on the cold, hard ground.
“Number 22. Sohn Youngjae. Deceased.”
He doesn’t remember hearing anything after that.
He felt his throat rung sore.
He’s not surprised if he screamed.
Won’t wonder if he was still screaming right now.
One moment Eric was just standing there, knees bucked as he prepares to lunge and shoot another shuriken in his direction, and then the next.
And then the next.
He was just there.
Gone.
He was just gone.
The all too familiar crimson liquid pooling around his body.
He instantly moves to claim the younger’s body in his arms.
He didn’t care if it broke every bone in his body.
He knew he wasn’t in any state to move a muscle yet he couldn’t care less.
Hyunjae shakes the boy in his arms.
As if he would be revived if he was shaken enough.
He slowly cradles him in his almost limp arms.
Hyunjae couldn’t accept it.
It was his fault.
This was his fault.
Eric’s blood was in his hands.
He had only decided to speak so he could talk some sense into him.
He’d only wanted to bring Eric’s guard down.
He knew deep down that the sweet boy who loved instant ramen and hot chocolate would later creep his way back to the surface.
Hyunjae had only wanted to convince him to yield and agree to survive together.
To get out of this battle ground together.
Together.
That was what he had hoped.
He didn’t expect it would strike some kind of cord within the younger.
The resigned look he’d witnessed on Eric’s face would be eternally carved into his memory.
The look that told him that he had given up.
Hyunjae caught his own breath.
If he knew Eric would sacrifice himself like this, he wouldn’t have said anything at all.
He was too young.
He shouldn’t have been the one to go.
He had a future ahead of him.
He was a bright kid.
Was.
Hyunjae clutched tighter around Eric’s body. Tears dropping on the boy’s stained cheeks.
If he only knew he’d resort to this, Hyunjae would have let the younger finish him off.
He should have just zipped his own mouth shut.
He sat there, cradling Eric’s lifeless body in his hands as he murmurs apologies under his breath.
Hyunjae doesn’t even remember how long he remained there.
It felt like hours.
Days.
Weeks.
If his tears had run out, he didn’t notice.
It wasn’t stopping him from mourning.
He’d cried, and cried, and cried until he had nothing left.
-
The next time Hyunjae opens his eyes, The half of his body is hanging off a man’s shoulder.
A strong man no less.
If the way the muscles curved on this man’s back was anything to go by.
Hyunjae carefully eyes the number written on the back of the man’s shirt.
Who was Number 11 again?
He dismisses the wonder. He was going to find out later anyway.
As the man walks further, he inwardly laughs at a thought.
On a different day, he would have tried to wriggle himself free.
Would have protested to be put down this instant.
But it wasn’t a different day.
For Hyunjae, it was the same day he had lost his brother.
Surviving was the least of his concerns.
So he lets himself be carried.
This person was probably planning to finish him off later anyway.
“I could feel you glaring at my ass, Jae. What did I tell you? Overthinking has never been a good look for you.”
The unknown man says, yet his voice lets Hyunjae mind think it was too familiar.
Jae?
Whoever Number 11 was, he could be someone close to him.
And—
Besides Eric—
There had only been one other person who called him that.
He could recognize that voice anywhere.
Scratch that.
The real question should be:
How could he not have?
It was the same, raspy voice that had moaned his own name many nights before.
The ghost of someone peppering kisses down his throat.
Biting down and eventually marking a certain column of his neck.
Nose nestling on his chest before going further down.
Slender fingers finally wrapping around him as he brings him to the edge with bated breaths.
Legs tangled in sweat and sheets reeked of come.
The images cloud his memory and before he could finally put a face to the voice,
The man was already setting Hyunjae down on a surface that felt like bamboo and a piece of clothing wrapped around it as makeshift mattress.
And of course this large man’s clothes would have been able to do that.
He gingerly looks up to confirm his suspicion and lo and behold,
Lee Juyeon’s smiling sweetly down at him.
Too sweetly.
Like it was a normal, regular day and Hyunjae had only just been on his knees for him.
Hyunjae couldn’t decide if he should be thankful that he had been picked up by someone he knew too well,
or should he be filled with dread— seeing as the same beautiful fingers that used to sinfully wrap around his own dick could later be wrapped around his neck.
They were still in the game after all.
Hyunjae’s shuddering at the thought until he hears the lighthearted laugh coming from the other.
“You should really let loose, Jae. You’ve had a hard day. Relax. I’m not going to kill you,” Juyeon slowly reaches down to wipe something off Hyunjae’s cheek—probably blood— but doesn’t remove his hand afterwards.
Instead, he moves his hand further down his chin and tips it upward so Hyunjae’s eyes would meet his.
“And I don’t plan to.”
Hyunjae doesn’t believe his ears.
“What?” He says in discomfort, his throat feeling too dry. His mouth felt like sand paper.
Right, he had only been screaming his lungs out not too long ago.
Juyeon chuckles before he’s crouching down to meet his level, eyes not straying from his.
“I’ve only just found you. I’m not letting you out of my sight too soon,”
He doesn’t waste a moment before he’s leaning in, lips finding its way on the tip of Hyunjae’s nose,
The corners of his mouth,
And finally,
On his own.
Mouths slotting in perfect harmony.
Juyeon kisses him hungrily.
Like he had just been on a business trip for days and this was him coming home.
To Hyunjae’s arms.
He shouldn’t be doing this- He had just lost someone dear to him.
He shouldn’t.
He shouldn’t.
But when Juyeon’s angling his nose so their mouths could fit more together, he doesn’t stop the small moan that escapes his lips, nor does he back down when Juyeon finally inserts his tongue into his mouth.
Hyunjae finds his hands reaching for his flimsy shirt, grasping on it like it was his life support.
He almost forgets his lips were already bruised until Juyeon bites down on his lower lip.
Instead of another moan leaving his lips, he flinches.
This doesn’t go unnoticed as it effectively removes Juyeon’s lips off his and the latter looking at him sheepishly.
“Sorry. I forgot. You need something for that? I have some meds for it let me just,” Juyeon scrambles off his feet.
He’s back before Hyunjae misses his touch and he later finds that he loathes that part of him more.
Juyeon crouches back down, a bowl of water in his right hand and a piece of cloth on the other.
Hyunjae doesn’t know what he applies on his wounds but he willingly lets Juyeon treat him.
The cloth moving from his temple, his cheek, and his lips.
Handling him so carefully like he fears Hyunjae was fragile and he’d break at the slightest touch.
If Juyeon was planning to stab him in the back and kill him right here, he probably wouldn’t have protested at all.
Hyunjae had just gotten the best kiss of his life from the most attractive fling he’s ever had whilst being out here amidst the chaos of his classmates slicing each others’ heads off, gun shots constantly heard and a new announcement every now and then.
He’d decided this would have been a pleasant way to die.
However, Juyeon snapping his gorgeous fingers in his face halts his thoughts from getting any darker.
“Are you back? I lost you there,” Juyeon lets out another beautiful chuckle and Hyunjae resists the urge to grab his collar, have his sinful lips back on his, and kiss the fucking daylights out of him.
He mentally shakes his head out of the gutter and blinks at his companion, confirming with a nod that he was indeed, back.
Hyunjae shouldn’t be thirsting for this man.
It was inappropriate.
He was mourning.
Hyunjae wills himself to speak, he needed to ask the important questions.
“Why,” He notes his mouth doesn’t feel as dry compared to when he first talked.
“Why did you bring me here?”
Juyeon doesn’t answer immediately.
Hyunjae watches as the other scans his eyes through his things before lighting up, acquiring what he wanted.
A bottle of water emerged from his belongings.
Juyeon uncaps it, taking a swig of his own before handing it to Hyunjae.
The man looking at him smugly,
It’s not poisoned. Juyeon says with his eyes.
Hyunjae had not been saying anything but it must’ve been evident how high his walls were.
Trust was rarely handed out.
He was too far into the game to be foolish.
Despite it though, it was still easy for Juyeon to tell he’d been dehydrated.
He swiftly takes the bottle, drinking a few gulps before handing it back to its owner.
Hyunjae mouthes a quick thank you and Juyeon grins in return.
The other then returns the bottle where it came from and when he’s finally sitting back down and facing him, he tilts his head to the side.
“Do you honestly not know?”
Hyunjae all but gives him a confused look.
Juyeon helpfully supplies him.
“I’ve been looking for you, Jae. I have been for a while now, actually.” He says plainly like it was the most obvious thing he’d ever uttered.
Hyunjae doesn’t find the words to respond with, so the other man continues.
“Why?” Juyeon grins once more, “Why wouldn’t I? It’s you.”
Hyunjae shoots him a disbelieving look.
We’re exes. Why would you look for me?
To off me yourself?
Juyeon shakes his head. He knew what Hyunjae was thinking and the latter hates that it was easy for him to admit it.
”Because I like you. For a long time now, honestly. Couldn’t move on after we ended things so I quit trying to.”
“When this game started and knew you were dispatched somewhere in the island, I knew I had to find you.”
Was he getting closer?
“And then when I managed to evade every single attack because I kept thinking of you, that’s when I decided.”
Juyeon props an arm to support his chin,
“I’ve decided, that no matter what, I wasn’t going to let my life end without having the chance to make one with you.” Juyeon finishes, the tone of conviction apparent in his voice.
This time, Hyunjae doesn’t will himself to reply.
Even before this game, he’d been keeping secrets of his own.
He really didn’t plan to let any of it out now.
Not here, at least.
Juyeon must have felt the shift in the atmosphere so he jokes,
“If you need proof, i’d say you could ask our other classmates, but their bodies are probably still rotting off somewhere right now.”
Or tried to joke at least.
The way Juyeon was staring at him pointedly brought Hyunjae to mentally fit the puzzle pieces together.
He had been killing his way through the arena.
Killing their classmates.
Before Hyunjae could accuse him, Juyeon’s already holding both of his hands up,
“Don’t look at me like that. I’ve been defending myself.” Hyunjae understood instantly, but prods him to explain further.
Before he obliges, he pulls what had looked like his assigned weapon— a dagger— out of its holster in his ankle, setting it down in front of them—lucky bastard. And he’d only gotten a measly taser?
Juyeon doesn’t notice his inner turmoil when he props his arms in front of Hyunjae.
He’d left himself bare so he could gain Hyunjae’s trust.
He had been trying to assure him since they’d arrived.
Juyeon clears his throat when Hyunjae blinks up at him then continues,
“Our classmates were ruthless. I don’t think you’ve seen Changmin slicing his way through bodies like a white man on a mountain. I barely made it out there alive.”
Hyunjae makes a muffled sound at that, “Changmin’s still alive?”
Juyeon arches an eyebrow, “Are you really surprised? He’s been out for blood since day one. Remember when Sunwoo spilled on his shirt once? He would have clawed him if Younghoon wasn’t there to stop him.”
Ah, he remembers.
Younghoon really was the only person who got Changmin in line.
Choi Chanhee, Changmin’s other friend, would have been a close second.
But he wasn’t who Changmin was in love with.
Hyunjae just hopes Changmin hasn’t noticed that Younghoon had his eyes set elsewhere.
Otherwise, Chanhee would have already met his own demise.
Juyeon chews on his lip, worry prominently written across his features as he recalls the aforementioned person.
“I wouldn’t get in his way if I were you. I think I’d rather let Sangyeon do that job. He’s also very much alive. I’d be surprised if he wasn’t. I’m glad he is,” Juyeon pauses.
“But, uh. Jae?”
Juyeon reaches out for Hyunjae’s hands, enveloping them in his own.
He looks up to meet the other’s eyes once again.
“Stay with me. Please? Let me protect you. And look,” Juyeon gestures around them.
The fort built around them sturdily, the makeshift bed evidently able to serve its purpose, the food and other supplies seeming to be sufficient for a few days, and the look in Juyeon’s eyes that held something akin to a promise,
“I’m capable. And maybe if you’re healed enough, we’ll protect each other. You wouldn’t have to worry you’re not doing enough. How does that sound?”
He was almost begging him to believe him.
And he knew just what to say.
He really knew Hyunjae too well.
And Juyeon’s eyes— they were pleading.
He thinks he had never seen that look in his eyes before.
It was as if Juyeon lov— no.
That couldn’t be right.
What were they?
Ex-flings?
They were, right?
Who was Juyeon to him?
Someone he used to fuck on a daily basis?
Someone he also liked a lot and that’s why he ended things between them because all of it was becoming too serious?
And earlier, someone who had just admitted he actually liked him back?
That’s what they were, weren’t they?
That was barely an excuse though.
Their other classmates were easily strangling the life out of the person they used to be head over heels for.
What made Juyeon different?
Why did Juyeon risk everything to look for him and tend to his wounds?
Why hadn’t he already have his knife lodged into Hyunjae’s throat?
He should be hating him for ending things, right?
Why was Juyeon here, in front of him, asking Hyunjae if he could protect him?
Holding that look in his eyes he could easily distinguish if he’d only let himself do so?
Hyunjae shakes his head once more.
It instantly dawns on him.
He realized that labels didn’t matter now, did they?
He also hadn’t let himself do the things he wanted.
Juyeon had admitted he held the same feelings he had been holding for quite some time now.
It was his turn, wasn’t it?
He already knew.
He had only been denying it.
Was there really room for denial when too much was at stake at this point?
It was time for him to quit depriving himself of the things he could have.
He could finally be selfish.
Hyunjae finds himself nodding, letting that notion speak for the both of them.
He watches as Juyeon’s eyes had lit up, flashing an emotion that looked like triumph, instantly understanding what it meant.
Juyeon had smiled, arms immediately wrapping around Hyunjae and tongue back in its rightful place— swirling with Hyunjae’s own.
Hyunjae feels his eyes flutter shut.
He honestly didn’t know if he should feel relieved that most of the people he knew was still alive.
Or he should feel more terrified that he’d have to face them sooner or later.
Forced to stick their blades up each other’s throats.
They were still stuck in this twisted game and so far, there had been no way out.
He’d also dreaded the possibility that he might have to face Juyeon soon.
It could happen, it was impossible—
His thoughts were ceased when he feels Juyeon’s fingers find their way on his belt, unbuckling them like it was already second nature—it definitely was— and him letting out a noise of approval when Juyeon’s mouth finally wrap around him.
Hyunjae finds that he could let himself have this moment for now.
They had established to protect each other, hadn’t they?
As Juyeon eventually brings him to his climax, his mouth back on his, slowly dipping him on the mattress and fingers aiming to discard the remnants of his clothing to prep him for another round,
Hyunjae decides.
With tangled limbs and whispered praises,
Guttural moans with each other’s names on their lips as they came once more,
He had decided that he was going to protect Juyeon with his life.
And Hyunjae would make sure he would do it right this time.
He wouldn’t fail.
Not this time.
Not again.