Work Text:
You fixed your hair again, trying to appear put together despite the early morning hours. Suppressing a yawn, you checked your phone again for the alert JARVIS sent you.
“Mr. Stark is still in his lab.”
As you went down the steps, taking them slow so as to not trip, you soon were able to hear Tony’s music, muffled, but still blasting from the other side of the glass. His workplace was a mess of metal and electronic parts, and by the way his movements were jerky and uncoordinated, you knew he was suffering from the lack of sleep.
“Jarvis? Could you turn down the music and open the doors?” You lightly tapped the glass, knowing you had access.
“Right away, madam.”
Even his reaction time was slow as he paused a few seconds after you walked in; he gave a sigh, and continued his tinkering.
“ Don’t say it. I’m fine, I’ve only been down here for a couple hours now.”
“You’ve been down here for approximately 72 hours, sir.” The AI corrected.
“Hey- I thought you were on my side.” He looked over at his monitors to give a withering stare, but quickly resumed his work. So you walked over and gently tapped the corner of the table.
“Have you eaten
anything?
Or even taken a break at least, Tony?” He didn’t respond, but his hands slowed down, giving you the opportunity to lightly rest yours on top of his to lower them.
“How about that break then?” He was all but exuding reluctance, yet dropped the tool he was holding that clinked as it hit the table. You gave your bravest smile, as you led him out toward the stairs.
He took his seat by the island as you went to put together a PB&J and put some water to boil for some chamomile tea to pair along with it. It was no comfort Whopper, but it was a simple enough treat and he never complained about it. When you finally made the tea, he was quiet enough to think he had fallen asleep, but you knew that never was the case.
His stare was somewhere else entirely, and in the moonlit hours of the night like these, you could only see the man that was behind the iron mask; his thoughts were plaguing him, and he held too much of a burden on his shoulders. You put out his late night meal in front of him, and he barely seemed to notice you as he started to eat.
It’d been a little less than a year now since New York, since the Mandarin, since… her death. You knew Ms. Potts yourself, she was a capable, hard-working, and sometimes intimidating woman, but you were all the more eager to work under her as her shadow. She always fondly called you her right hand woman, and it only was natural for you to take up her responsibility in looking after Tony. He shared little of what happened to her, but you found out through Rhodey that whatever serum she had been injected with led to her fiery demise; however, not without taking down the man who made her suffer. Even in death, you only grew to respect her more than ever.
Though her passing wasn’t the only reason you cared for Tony so much.
Even back then, you were always fond of him. Getting to work alongside Pepper allowed you to catch a glimpse of the true nature of the billionaire, philanthropist playboy, and you quickly fell for the man with a little piece of metal for a heart— not that it stopped him from having way too much humanity, i.e. his philanthropist nature. But you admired his metaphorical heart; the way he kept working far harder than any normal person could because he wanted so desperately to protect the world— a responsibility no one man should have. It wasn’t your place to foster these feelings, not when he and Pepper were happy together, so you convinced yourself to just be glad with being on the sidelines.
And now? It just wouldn’t be right. You could never replace Pepper, be what she was to him, all you could do was to help him to survive. It was the least you could do for the both of them.
He was laying against the counter on his arm. It seemed like the exhaustion finally crept up to him, and though you didn’t want to disturb him, you knew he’d appreciate not waking up stiff and aching. You lightly rested a hand on his back, gently urging to get his attention.
“Tony? Let’s get you over to the bed, alright?” His eyes half-opened as he fussed.
“But it’s comfortable enough here, Peps..” You stiffened.
“I— ...I know, but I’m sure your back would appreciate getting a good night’s sleep on properly.” It was dark, and he was exhausted half to death. You felt apprehension build up in the back of your throat in going along with it, but you also knew that trying to argue with him about it wouldn’t help either.
With a drawn out sigh, he gave a small nod and slowly tried to lift up his head. You offered support where he needed it, taking his arm over your shoulder to bear the bulk of his weight, and the two of you slowly made your way over to his room.
But the journey felt painfully drawn out. His head rested in the crook of your neck, and you felt the warmth of his body radiate off of him. He was so close, but…
“I missed you, Pepper.” all the more farther than ever. You grit your teeth and bore it, because really, what else could you do? He needed Pepper right now, not you.
Luckily he settled into bed quickly enough. As you pulled the covers over him, he lightly grabbed your arm. Not forceful, rather, pleading.
“Don’t leave me alone.” His eyes were glazed with fatigue, but even then you felt the weight of his words and how small they sounded as they left his lips. You forced another brave smile, and you couldn’t stop yourself from fixing his hair and gently outlining his face tenderly.
“I’m right here. I need to put away those dishes just for a moment, Tony. I’ll be right back, I promise.” Your heart broke as he leaned into your hand, knowing his hesitancy, but he let go of your arm with a slow nod.
The few dishes were put away in the washer as it ran quietly enough. You followed through on your promise, peeking into his room, and in the dark you knew he was fast asleep by now. When you closed the door shut, your smile fell along with held back tears, and in that moment you weren’t brave. You were weaker than ever before.