Chapter Text
“Who comes home for Halloween anyway?”
“Me, Derek, I come home for Halloween. Can you at least pretend to be happy that I’ll be back? We haven’t seen each other for five months? FIVE! Don’t you miss me?”
“I can hardly miss you when we talk every day, Stiles. It’s like you never left.”
“So grumpy, so sour. You loved me before.”
“Yeah, I did,” Derek sighs, there is a pause when neither of them says anything, where every minute ticks by with only them listening to each other’s heartbeat.
“Oh, I saw this and I thought of you, so say hi to my new friend!”
Derek’s phone vibrates in his hand when a message from Stiles appears on top of the call screen. He opens it to see that Stiles has sent him a picture. In it, he is holding up a pumpkin with a grumpy face, probably drawn on with a sharpie. Stiles’ smile is blinding.
The sight makes Derek catch his breath.
“Look how cute he is. He looks just like you.”
“Very funny Stiles.”
“He even talks like you too,” Stiles laughs, then does a poorly drawn-out accent to imitate Derek. “Very funny Stiles.”
Derek scoffs but feels the warmth rising in his chest anyway. “Shut up. You are such an asshole.”
He can hear Stiles chuckle in reply.
“I have to go now Derek, I’ll text you later before bed okay. Like always.”
“Yeah. Like always.”
When Derek ends the call, he keeps the picture open and stares at it. Derek misses him so much.
He misses how Stiles would laugh at everything he said and would try to rile Derek up just to get a reaction. He misses the way those eyes would light up when he gets excited or angry. And his voice, it’s not as light as Derek remembers, it’s deeper now, but still holds the same carefree sound that somehow sends shivers down Derek’s spine whenever those lips curls around his name. He misses how Stiles’ smile brings a sense of relief and joy to Derek, no matter what happens around him. He misses the way Stiles makes him feel alive.
Derek knows it doesn’t matter anymore, Stiles is gone now, he isn’t coming back, and this stupid little love that burning inside of Derek’s chest is his and his secret only. They made a promise after they broke up, to stay in touch as friends, and there is no way that Derek would ruin that, it’s so fragile already. He doesn’t want to make Stiles uncomfortable, to make him choose between his future and Derek’s selfish love, so he stepped back to let Stiles chase his dream, that was the final decision.
But Stiles is coming back soon, and just for a second, a second only, Derek let himself mull over the promise of the upcoming weekend with Stiles. Where feeling he has for him will be unearthed again. Well, it would be, if it had ever been buried, no, Derek still carries them with him, every single day.
Then he closes his eyes and tries not to think about it anymore. It’s pointless.
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There’s an air of excitement that fills the mall and Stiles can only imagine why. October is in full swing as the sun shines bright outside on a crisp Autumn day. The wind is just right to make your breath visible as you walk around. There are people everywhere, and the atmosphere is filled with laughter and chatter.
It was Stiles’ idea. He has been back for two days and he’s already roped Derek into a holiday shopping trip. After all, they aren’t going to be doing anything else, so they should probably take advantage of this free time before Halloween.
The second they walk into the store, Stiles immediately feels like he’s going to fall head over heels from all the props. The walls are covered in glitter paper cutout spiders and various Halloween trinkets. Large plastic skulls and bats and skeletons hung on strings that cackel whenever someone walked by, making everything look creepy and scary in a cartoonish way. Several kinds of pumpkins are lined up against one wall and another shelf full of fake cobwebs that look incredibly realistic. There’s also some sort of giant monster candy dispenser with giant eyeballs hanging off the sides. It looks so bad that it’s somehow good.
“Derek, look at that giant spider!” Stiles’ eyes widen in awe.
A sign that says “Halloween Costume Ideas” with a giant spider hanging off of it. One of the spider’s eyes has its socket torn away while the other remains intact and seems to glint at Stiles.
“Oh my God! Oh my God! This is so great! We should totally put this outside!” Stiles exclaims in excitement.
He makes grabby hands towards the spider thing that has him so excited and practically bouncing on his feet. As soon as Derek sees the way Stiles is acting, he knows there’s no changing the younger man’s mind about this and gives in and lets him go crazy with Halloween ideas.
Stiles grabs onto Derek’s hand and starts dragging them over to the other shelves to get more spiders and talking excitedly about how they should go well with the decoration at home.
Once they find what they want, they pay for it, then get out of the store. They walk back down to the house and Stiles is already gushing about how fun it was trying to work out what would be best to put in front of each other.
Derek just smiles fondly at Stiles and listens to every word he says. He’d never admit it, but he’s secretly super happy that he gets to spend time with Stiles.
“So are you hungry now?” Stiles asks with a bright smile.
“Yeah,” Derek replies, his eyes lingering on Stiles’ mouth, wishing at every star in this universe so that he could kiss him. “Do you want some pizza?”
“Dude!? How did you know I want pizza?” He brings his hand up to his mouth to fake a gasp.
“Of course I knew. You’re so predictable,” Derek rolls his eyes playfully.
Because he knows exactly what Stiles wants, has always been like that. Derek always looks after Stiles, tends to his every need, even before the guy realizes he needs them. It has become second nature to him.
It’s good to spend time with Stiles today, to feel whole again, to have the other guy look at him like he is the only one on this planet, look at him like he matters. Because goddammit, Derek knows for sure he looks at Stiles like that.
And yeah, maybe he is a little lonely. He misses being able to see Stiles whenever he likes. To talk with him and joke around, and hang out. But Derek knows that if he ever says it out loud, it won’t be fair to Stiles. So he’ll take what he can get and he won’t complain anymore.
Because it’s Stiles.
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“You know how my dad always said I don’t eat enough food? Well, he obviously didn’t see me with pizza.” Stiles says between mouthfuls. He’s sitting on the bench in front of Derek, bouncing his feet back and forth while Derek eats in silence.
“What kind of sauce did they put on this thing?! This is so much better than anything you could find in Washington!” He exclaims with an exaggerated sigh.
Derek rolls his eyes as Stiles keeps talking through another mouthful of food. He isn’t actually paying attention though, not really, he is too busy getting lost in Stiles’ eyes. The amber color of them matches with the evening sky. They are full of passion and mischief.
It is something that makes Derek want to stare at for hours. He’s seen this kind of look before and it had made him go weak in the knees every time. His heartbeat has slowed, but there is still a flutter every time he looks into those deep brown eyes.
“Hey! Derek!” Stiles’ voice pulls him from his trance and snaps him out of his thoughts. He blinks rapidly and shakes his head slightly. “I was saying you should come over tomorrow night for dinner. My dad said we will have mac and cheese. And then we can play games all night.”
“I would love to come over for dinner.” Derek smiles, happy to finally say the words without stuttering.
Stiles beams and Derek thinks the sun has been eclipsed by him. The brightness of his smile causes Derek’s breath to catch in his throat and his chest constrict.
“You okay over there?” Stiles asks with a laugh, reaching out towards Derek.
Derek blinks at him and snaps out of his haze to look at the man beside him. “Yeah, yeah, sorry,” He says and takes another bite and swallows it down.
“You sure? You’ve been staring for like a minute now.”
Derek nods quickly. “Sorry, just thinking about something.”
Stiles smiles at him, his lips slightly parting. His eyes still glowing in the last fleeting sunlight. “Well then. What were you thinking about? Because if it was anything good it would be worth looking at.” Stiles says cheekily.
Derek chuckles as Stiles laughs. He can’t help himself. It’s contagious, the sound fills his chest up and causes his heart to flutter differently than usual. It makes Derek smile wider than he had even thought possible. He feels alive again.
A moment later, they both stop laughing, realizing what exactly had just happened. Their hearts are beating faster and they aren’t moving away or touching anymore. But neither are they leaning towards each other. In fact, when Stiles opens his mouth to speak, Derek finds his gaze drawn to his bottom lip. It’s soft and pink and he wants to kiss it so badly that he can almost taste it.
His thoughts scattered as soon as their eyes meet again. His breathing becomes shallow, and he looks around frantically, trying to calm his breathing. Stiles watches him, concern etched into his features. He doesn’t say anything, but Derek knows he knows.
“What are your plans for Halloween?” Derek asks instead, trying to change the subject away from where it clearly has gone. He doesn’t want Stiles to ask questions about what just happened.
“Uhh… not sure yet. Not really planning anything since no one else will be around to do stuff with.” He shrugs as he replies. “I probably stay at home, eat some junk, and watch shitty movies all night while waiting for the kids to do their round.” Stiles grins widely as he says this. A grin that doesn’t seem to fade as Derek simply continues to stare at him. Stiles tilts his head curiously in response. “Are you alright?” He asks.
Derek shakes his head as he breaks their eye contact. “No, yeah. Sorry, I’m fine, everything is fine. Yeah.” Derek gives Stiles his best attempt at a smile that seems more forced than genuine.
Leaning back on the bench, Stiles nods in understanding and doesn’t push the subject anymore.