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The music and background chatter in the dimly lit bar drowned out Leia and Han's squabbles, you stared into the wall in front of you, getting lost in your thoughts about Luke - his gorgeous soft hair, his kind eyes, and infectious smile.
You missed him, you wished he was here, sat with you, sharing a drink and holding you close - instead, he was in the Millenium Falcon, in a bad mood with no interest in talking to you. He couldn't bring himself to lose himself in your eyes, he wanted nothing more than to make you his own but you had gone behind his back and chose another pilot instead.
"Well, I think you better stop whilst you're ahead, young lady." Han raised his brows, taking another swig of alcohol.
Leia scoffed and rolled her eyes, sitting back in the booth, accidentally bumping into you with her elbow - she wanted to continue arguing with Han but she was already tired of the constant back and forth.
You broke out of your daydreams about Luke when Leia rubbed your back with her hand, apologising for bumping into you.
Han stared at you "What's up with you, kiddo?" he asked, his eyebrows knitting together.
Oh shit, he noticed?!
"It's nothing," you sighed, trying to play it cool.
Leia leaned towards you, a small smile creeping up on her face "is this about Luke?"
Your cheeks started to burn more than the alcohol slipping down your throat.
You had fallen for Luke after Leia introduced you to him, the shy and dorky Jedi in training who always knew the right thing to say and always made an effort - even more so when you were upset or unwell.
You were left alone with him from time to time when Han would take Leia out for rides across the galaxy, you would spend your evenings watching Luke train and getting to know him a little better, sharing secrets, cuddling, even messing around which stressed 3PO and Chewie, who was very protective over you.
Luke stopped training and put down his lightsaber, turning around to face you.
"I found Ben's-" he paused for a moment, shaking his head "I mean, Obi-Wan's journal on Tatooine."
"What did he write?" you asked quietly, shading Luke's hair in your sketchbook.
"Stuff about my father, things I don't want to believe it but I have to, things that make sense when I remember duelling with him..."
You stared back at Luke, getting lost in his eyes, unsure of what to say.
"I never knew my mother," he paused again, his eyes looking down at you "but she died believing there was still good in him."
To tell the truth, you didn't know what to say? How could you? You had never had been brought into the world as your mother left it, leaving you without a father who happened to be a sith lord.
Luke sat down next to you on the floor, glancing over at your drawings of him in various poses, he picked one up and smiled, examining it closely.
He stood tall with his lightsaber in one hand, his other biomechanical hand outstretched in front of him, the blue light from his blade glowing against his white tunic and trousers.
"Wow," Luke grinned, focusing on each perfect detail "how do you do this?! You're incredibly talented, Y/N."
You felt your heart skip a beat, he had never complimented your drawings before, you were too shy to show your works, to begin with, and you only ever did this for fun.
"Thank you, Luke." you smiled, trying to blink away the heat rising to your cheeks.
"You should draw a self-portrait and give it to me when the holidays roll around," he suggested happily, handing you the drawing before he stood up and continued training.
'A self-portrait?! He really wants a drawing of me?' you thought, slightly baffled.
"You really fancy him?!" Han asked in disbelief, earning himself another glare from Leia.
"Would it kill you to be nice?" Leia huffed, crossing her arms.
"Yes, I do," You admitted, feeling your cheeks burn "and I need to make up with him - he won't talk to me."
Han took another sip "what happened? did you trim his hair a bit too short or something?"
Leia had to stop herself from not just laughing but from also lunging at Han.
"No," you frowned "Things just got complicated, I don't know what happened, I asked him if he was dating anyone and then he just snapped at me."
Leia turned to you "Wait, he snapped at you?"
You were hoping that the hardworking and comforting Jedi would ask you out, you had waited long enough but nothing came of it. Part of you felt foolish, upset, and embarrassed - you were sure that you and Luke had feelings for one another after getting cosy for the past half-year.
The other part of you thought that he asked someone else out, plenty of other guys and girls took an interest in him - how could they not? He had it all - yet Luke turned them down gently and continued to teach himself in his uncle's footsteps.
During one of your many evenings alone with Luke, you decided to pull the trigger on the blaster and find out why he was single.
"So, do you have a girlfriend or boyfriend?" you asked, gripping the pencil, staring at your paper.
You couldn't ever ask Luke out yourself, you were too shy and feared rejection - if you had any chance of being his, he'd have to make the first move.
Luke broke out into a smile, he laughed lightly and shook his head.
"No, I-I, I'm not seeing anyone."
'There's still a chance for me' you thought, chewing on your lip nervously, shading Luke's other lightsaber.
"Is there any reason why?"
Luke continued to practice and concentrated hard, "I'm a Jedi, Y/N." he replied, his voice more firm.
You knew what this meant - no attachments, no intimacy, nothing; you suddenly felt stupid for thinking he that he liked taking risks and the idea of getting married in secret - not wanting to leave the idea unsaid, you continued to try and plant seeds into his head, hoping to catch any secrets he was hiding away.
"What if you had a partner, you know, in secret?" you asked, putting down your pencil away from the paper, careful not to smudge your work.
Luke started to become frustrated, why weren't his answers enough for you? Why were you so persistent in finding out if he had a partner? Were you seeing someone else and didn't want him to feel alone? Did you not trust him? Were you going to drop your love life on him? Rubbing another guy in his face?
"Can we stop talking about this?" Luke snapped quickly, his beautiful fringe sticking to his forehead "I've explained everything already, drop it!"
You looked up from your sketchbook making eye contact with the Jedi who stood in front of you, you were taken aback by his sudden outburst and you didn't know what to say, you swallowed hard and started to pack away your stationery in a hurry.
Luke's heart pained at the sight of your face dropping and your eyes becoming dull, how could he allow something that now seems so little to him to get under his skin and ruin your bond? He remembered the entries about his father's downfall, his hate, outbursts, and arrogance towards his uncle and the council, he couldn't be like his father, not now; not ever.
You couldn't bring yourself to look at him, you stood up, your sketchbook pressing into your chest "I won't mention it again," you said quietly, quickly leaving the room.
A stray piece of paper fell from your sketchbook as you hurried away, falling down and landing by Luke's feet. He crouched down and picked it up, an incomplete self-portrait of you stared back at him, searching through his soul.
As the afternoon dragged into the evening, the music got louder and more people entered the bar, some of them looking for a fight, others meeting to settle debts.
"Y/N, did he apologise afterwards? Did he make an attempt to reach out?" Leia asked curiously.
Your evenings weren't the same ever since you distanced yourself from him, being alone with R2 didn't solve your loneliness and the fighter pilot who became obsessed with pursuing you made you feel even worse, especially when he threw his arm around you in front of Luke.
Luke hated the sight of another man holding you so close, he became jealous and sad, remembering the Jedi Code and how his father's jealousy spilt out of control, he excused himself and promised to never fall for anyone else again.
You were watching the fighter pilot work, you had always loved watching Luke when he wasn't swinging around his lightsaber or making doors shut with his open hand.
"Y/N," Luke called out confidently "Can we talk for a moment?"
You couldn't remember the last time he said your name.
Your heart started to make little skips and jumps, turning around you felt winded.
His hair was shorter and no longer fell in his eyes, his shoulders were broader and his clothes looked tighter - you could see his muscles through his clothes and his eyes were still full of adventure but lacked the sparkle he once had.
"Uh, sure," you replied quietly, your heart thumping in your ears.
Luke walked away from your friend and cleared his throat, staring into your eyes - the ones he had missed more than anything in the world; the same eyes he often got lost in as he stared at your drawing night after night.
"I just wanted to say-"
Before he could continue, the fighter pilot rushed over, his brown curly hair bouncing as he reached you.
"Whos' this?" he asked, swinging his arm around you, pulling you into him.
Luke's eyes fell, his throat tightened and he could feel his jealously and hurt brew inside of him, he took deep breaths, refusing to display his feelings or act out.
He knew who Luke was, who didn't? He blew up the death star and spent his time with a princess and a smuggler - everyone knew of him.
You stared at Luke and couldn't stop yourself from shaking, "Luke, this is-"
"Forget it," Luke sighed, walking away with his hands bunched into fists.
You pulled away from the fighter pilots grip, pushing his arm off you.
"What'd you do that for?!" you hissed, glaring at him.
Han groaned and put his head in his hands, Leia started to laugh and shake her head.
"Luke's got no clue, has he?" she asked.
"No, and he won't listen to me!" You groaned "Can you help me, please?"
Han rolled his eyes "I'm not a matchmaker here-"
Leia glared at him, Han quickly put his hands up in front of him in defence.
"Of course we'll help you, Y/N." Leia smiled.
Han looked around the bar, "We better get going, don't want to bump into anyone I know tonight."
Following the two of them out of the bar, the cool night sky beamed down on you, the soft glow from the moon resting on your face and the cold air nuzzled against your cheeks and the tip of your nose, making them go red.
The closer you got to the Millenium Falcon, the more your stomach started to do little flips.
Walking up the boarding ramp and going through the door into the circular corridor, Han and Leia took off to the cockpit where Luke and Chewie were waiting for you all - unable to face him, you took off to the main hold area and sat at the table, your eyes pooling into the table.
Chewie instantly expressed joy upon Han's arrival, getting up and smothering him in a hug, Luke turned around to see Leia staring at him, you were nowhere to be seen which started to make Luke panic - were you back at the bar? did you go your bunk already? were you going home with someone else?
"Looking for Y/N, kid?" Han asked, patting Chewie on the back, taking his seat.
Luke tried his best to hide his concern, he shook his head "No, just wondered if you brought back any guests."
"Oh Luke, why won't you talk to her?!" Leia frowned, leaning into Chewies warm hug "She's really upset."
Your eyes continued getting lost in the table, you wanted to go to bed already and part of you felt as if Luke wouldn't be coming - that Luke and Leia forgot their plan or it already failed.
"I tried!" Luke stressed, "She was with someone else, didn't even have the heart to tell me!"
"She wasn't with him!" Leia argued, "She isn't with anyone, you never gave her a chance to explain!"
Luke started to feel stupid, he had heard other pilots talking about you - always saying you were on your own and looked rather lonely - if you were seeing someone else that would be the news.
"Y/N is really into you," Han added, straightening out his waistcoat "she wanted to ask you out but she's too scared to make it obvious, pull it together, Jedi."
Your eyes kept closing and opening, you rubbed your eyes and the tiniest stars spread across the table and fell to the floor. It felt like the longer you stayed up, the more disappointed you would get from Luke's absence.
Standing up, yawning softly and stretching, you rubbed your face and pushed your hair back and started to go to your bunk, until you could hear footsteps come from behind you.
"Y/N?" Luke spoke out softly, "I would like to start over on that talk we had."
You froze on the spot, waking up and suddenly feeling more awake than you ever had in your life.
Luke wants to talk to me?
You turned around nervously, facing him for the first time since he started snubbing you, for the first time in a very long time, Luke finally looked back into your eyes.
The hairs stood up on the back of his neck, your eyes coming to life from the drawing he had been glued to for months, you were here - living and breathing in front of him, not just pencil on paper.
"Hi," you replied so softly, so quiet it was almost a whisper.
Luke slowly inched closer to you, guilt washing all over his face.
"I'm sorry," he frowned "I'm sorry for snapping at you, for ignoring you, for acting as if you didn't exist."
You didn't know what to say - you wanted to run into his arms but you also felt like crying.
"I hated the sight of another guy being so close to you, having his arm around you, making you laugh and smile. I hated that I rejected the idea of being with you before I even had a chance to tell you how I truly feel."
You swallowed hard, your chest-thumping with each step you gravitated towards him.
"How do you feel?" you asked him.
Luke reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper which was slightly crumpled up, unfolding it he handed it to you, looking down, your self-portrait stared up at you.
You had forgotten about this drawing, about the night you shared with Luke that lead to its creation. For Luke to have kept it made your eyes fill with tears.
"I have held this drawing - you - close to my heart every day... every night I have stared into those beautiful eyes, desperate to feel your touch and hear your laugh," Luke rested his hand against your face "and I've been too scared to do so because I pushed you away, I thought I had ruined everything entirely - I wanted to uphold the Jedi Code, but it's hard to do when everywhere I go your eyes are finding me."
You didn't say anything back, you slowly nuzzled against Luke's touch, a tear spilling from your eye, running down your cheek and landing on Luke's thumb.
Luke slowly wiped away your tear, his eyes searching yours, desperate for some sort of response.
"How do you feel?" he asked softly.
You smiled and closed your eyes, the sight of Luke's own eyes as clear as day in front of you.
"Your eyes have been finding me too," you replied.
Luke closed his eyes and leaned in, his nose brushing against yours, his other hand taking hold of your waist so he could pull you closer, and for the first time, his lips brushed against yours.
Kissing him back felt as if starts were exploding against your lips.