Chapter Text
Jongin looked into big watery eyes and wondered what grave sin he had committed to deserve the tears of his precious daughter at six o’clock in the morning.
“Noooo,” she wailed and clung to the leg of his jeans.
They had this situation almost every day, and Jongin was so tired of it. Nothing could grind his nerves to painful little shards like the cries of Jinae.
“JinJin, I have to go to work.” He repeated like a broken record.
“Nooooooooo,” her wails got louder, and Jongin wanted nothing more than to place his hands over his ears. It was painful to listen to her.
He bent down to pick her up and tried to wipe tears and snot off of her red face.
“Please,” he said desperately and rocked her.
“Daddy, no go.”
A petite woman was standing at the door waiting. He’d read reviews on babysitters for weeks until he had been sure to have found the best one. She had a motherly smile and had reacted to Jinae kindly and with respect. He had been excited, but Jinae had been everything but. She cried every morning, and if Jongin left despite her tears, he got a call two hours later to be informed she was still crying.
Consternated, he pulled out his phone. At least, he knew the photographer this time around.
He dialled and waited and tried to soothe her.
He didn’t even have to say anything when the phone got answered. Jinae’s cries had to be audible on the other side.
“I see. Bring her here. We’ll figure something out.”
“Thank you, Kyungoo. I’ll bring enough toys. She won’t make a noise. I promise.”
“Yeah, yeah. Just get here.”
Jongin hung up.
“I am sorry,” he said to the babysitter.
“It’s okay. Although, I don’t think we should keep this arrangement up. She always cries when she sees me.”
Jongin bit the inside of his cheek. That was what the last five babysitters had told him, too.
“I’ll pay more.”
She shook her head, and he accepted her refusal.
What else could he do?
“Thank you for everything.” She had held out longer than most.
“I wish you two the best.”
She left, and Jongin inwardly cursed as he grabbed Jinae’s toy bag. Not everyone was as understanding as Kyungsoo when he brought his daughter to work. It was going to be a difficult few days, possibly weeks.
His manager said nothing when Jongin climbed with Jinae into the car.
“You have to be quiet at the photoshoot, okay?”
Jinae wiped her last tears away with her chubby hand.
“Yes, daddy.”
“I will put your blanket down where you can see me. You will stay on it, okay? Don’t go running off.”
“Okay.”
Thankfully, he could usually trust her to stay where he asked her to be.
Jongin sighed and leaned back against the seat. There was a small headache pounding behind his temple as always when he had to hear her cry for a long time. It was more draining than having to redo a scene ten times.
If he wasn’t as famous as he was as a model and actor, he probably wouldn’t be allowed to bring her to most of his projects. He had never been too fond of the celebrities that insisted on special treatment at work. Now, he was one of them, but he couldn’t help it.
In no time, they reached the studio.
Kyungoo greeted him with ‘get your make up done right away’ but also with a small wave for Jinae.
Jongin liked working with the other. Kyungsoo usually forgot after the first five minutes to be brusque and was always understanding of Jongin’s struggles as a single dad.
“Sure, hyung.”
Jinae silently stood by as he changed as long as no other adult tried to approach her. If that happened, she took a step back and ran to hide behind his legs. Getting his make-up done was the easiest when she could sit under the make-up table and play with her stuffed toy. A duckling that had seen clearly better days, but it was difficult to wash a toy that took longer than one day to dry. They had done one night without it once, and Jongin wasn’t ready to repeat the experience.
“JinJin? Are you having fun?” Jongin asked as he got eyeshadow dapped on his lid.
“Yes,” she sing-songed. A small hand squeezed his ankle. If he wasn’t as used to it as he was, he would have jumped a metre into the air. As it was, he smiled relieved.
He inspected himself in the mirror after he was done. They had accentuated his eyes and lips like usually.
“Let’s go, JinJin.”
She took his hand with one hand and hugged her toy to her chest tightly with the other.
Jongin spread her blanket out not too far away from the set so she could see him but far enough to the side to be out of the way. He placed her toy bag on it to choose more toys from if she wished. Her bottle was in there as well.
“I’ll be back.”
She nodded and let herself drop to her knees.
Jongin hesitated a moment and then turned to a staff member standing by with a clipboard.
“If it is not too much to ask, could you check from time to time whether she is still sitting there?”
She blushed and nodded.
Sometimes, it was helpful that he had that effect on people.
“Thank you,” he said sincerely.
He got on the set.
Kyungsoo was looking to where Jinae was sitting.
“Lost another babysitter?”
“She cries all the time. I don’t know what to do.”
Kyungsoo hummed but then turned to him. The other took him in from top to bottom and then opened the button of Jongin’s coat. Kyungsoo was meticulous but also one of the best.
“Get comfortable,” the other said and lifted his camera.
Jongin moved to the armchair and arranged himself. This was what he knew how to do.
Kyungsoo kept telling him “good”, “perfect”, “just like that”, “gorgeous”, and “please show your neck more”.
They were a good team, and Jongin entered that flow state where he was fully focused on giving the other all the best shots of him.
He had been so immersed that he only noticed Jinae was missing when Kyungsoo called for a short break.
Feeling a wave of anxiety wash over him, he hurried over to the staff member he had asked to watch out for her. He didn’t have to ask. When she saw him coming, she looked for Jinae, and when she saw she was gone, all colour drained out of her face.
“When was the last time you saw her?” He asked her as calmly as possible. She had to be here somewhere. Surely, she had not managed to leave the building.
“It can’t have been more than ten minutes,” she said tonelessly.
A lot could happen in ten minutes. Jongin felt like someone poured a bucket of ice into his heart.
He spun around and searched with his eyes as he quickly walked towards where more of the staff were.
Just when he was about to start a breathing exercise to stay level-headed, he spotted familiar pigtails.
“Jinae!” Quickly, he ran towards her.
Baffled, he stopped short in front of her. She had her fingers curled around the index finger of a young man.
Jongin’s brain simply froze as he tried to comprehend what he was seeing. His eyes kept travelling from his daughter to their joined hands to the young man.
“I am sorry. She needed to go to the toilet. Uhm…I…uh…went with her.”
Jinae went with him to the toilet.
Jongin swayed slightly and had to brace himself on his thighs.
“I am so sorry. I know I shouldn’t have just gone with her, but you were on set, and I didn’t know who to tell. She said she really needed to go. I didn’t do anything to her. I swear,” the young man said nervously. Jongin could see the other try and pull his hand back, but Jinae held on tightly.
“She told you that? She asked you to go with her?” He asked. He still couldn’t comprehend this.
“Yes,” the man said.
Jongin stared at the other. The other was slightly short than him and looked young. A baggy sweatshirt over skinny jeans. There was nothing on him that told Jongin why he had been chosen. His face was friendly and soft, but most of her babysitters had a friendly face like that. He had made sure of that.
What was special about this individual? The cuteness? He was a bit cute. Jinae liked cute things, but the previous babysitter before the last one had been dressed so cutely, Jongin had checked her file several times to make sure she was of age and allowed to drive a car.
“What is your name?”
“Mari!” Jinae said and pointed at the man. The other looked confused at the toddler holding his hand.
“I am Taemin.”
“Taemin is Mari,” Jinae said, and Jongin’s brain went into overdrive. She puckered her lips, and it clicked.
“You have duck lips!”
“Excuse me?” Taemin said understandably confused.
“You remind her of her favourite stuffed toy. That’s why she asked you. I can’t believe it.” Jongin wanted to laugh hysterically. Of all things?
“I guess I am flattered?” Taemin said uncertainly.
“She doesn’t allow anyone but me to touch her. I think you can be flattered.”
Taemin’s eyes grew big.
“Oh…”
“Have we found our babysitter for the shoot?” Kyungsoo had joined them and observed the unexpected match in front of them.
“I was supposed to install another light.”
Kyungsoo waved the other off.
“Daejung can do that. We will be all more at ease when we know she is safe.”
“I know nothing about children,” Taemin admitted uncertainly.
“Keep her out of danger. And feed her some of the food. She can have my lunchbox,” Jongin immediately said.
“We already ordered another one for her,” Kyungsoo said calmly.
This was almost too much. Jongin felt so grateful he almost broke into tears.
“Please?” He asked Taemin.
“Okay,” the other said awkwardly.
Jinae got bored of standing around and let go of Taemin to reach her arms out to him. Automatically, Jongin bent down and picked her up. He took a detour to pick up a lunchbox.
Taemin followed as he carried her back to the blanket and her toys.
“Be a good girl. I will finish as fast as possible, okay?”
“Okay, daddy,” Jinae allowed Taemin to sit down on her blanket, and Jongin took a deep breath and left those two alone.
He went straight back to Kyungsoo.
“Do you know anything about Taemin?”
The other looked knowingly at him.
“Trying to steal my staff?”
“This is huge, okay?”
“Taemin is a college kid. Quite sweet from what I have observed and heard. Everyone seems to like him. Oh, and strapped for cash,” Kyungsoo said pointedly. “He is paying his tuition if I understood that correctly.”
Jongin looked at the other from the corner of his eyes.
“I’ll try to steal him.”
“Figured.”
“I am sorry.”
“It’s fine. I’d do the same.”
“You are the best.”
Kyungsoo’s lips formed a heart as he smiled.
Jongin was less focused this time around. He kept stealing glances at the pair on the blanket, but Jinae didn’t seem to change her mind about liking Taemin.
She had Taemin put a scarf and hat on Mari. She would reach up and carefully touch his lips with curious fingers.
Jongin lost all sense of professionalism and had to laugh loudly when she sat primly in front of Taemin, and the other struggled with trying to figure out how to braid her pigtails. Taemin was frowning, and his lips pushed out in concentration.
Jinae always wanted braids, but Jongin was pathetically unable to produce any. Especially, when he didn’t have the time in the morning and was grateful her hair had a semblance of order.
Kyungsoo’s camera flashed, and he re-focused.
“Sorry.”
“Might be your best shot,” the other said and lifted the camera back in front of his face after checking the display.
It was nice to work while not having to worry.
They finished, and Jongin shook his limbs out as he got off the set.
He walked over and saw Taemin pick rice from Jinae’s face. His heart got flooded with warmth. It was the first time he saw someone care for his daughter, and he had not known how badly he wanted that. Sure, it was nice to know someone babysat her, but it was more about someone else showing her love and affection. He wanted that for her. He always wondered whether he was enough.
A lump formed in his throat, and he had to clear it several times before he felt confident that he wouldn’t burst into tears the second Taemin looked at him.
“Hey,” he said and sat down on the blanket.
Jinae clambered up and crawled into his lap.
“Did everything go alright? Are you feeling good Jinae?”
“JinJin is tired. We play,” she said, and he cooed at her.
“Mari is a duck,” Taemin said and gave the doll to Jinae, who hugged it tightly.
“Mari is very loved,” Jongin said seriously.
Taemin hummed.
“Would you be interested in working as a babysitter?”
The other looked at him startled.
“Thanks for the offer, but I don’t have time to take on another job. I go to college.”
“I’ll pay you twice as much as you get here.”
Taemin looked at him open-mouthed.
“What?”
“I’ll pay you twice as much money.”
The other moved his hand through his hair.
“Why? I am really not suitable. I have never cared for a child before.”
That wasn’t a definite no to his offer.
“Well, I would prefer someone experienced, too, but she picked you. I wasn’t joking when I said she doesn’t let anyone but me touch her,” Jongin said honestly.
“Really? No one?”
“No.”
Taemin looked like he couldn’t quite believe him.
“I have to think about it.”
Jongin nodded. He could understand that.
“It feels like a lot of responsibility to take care of a child,” Taemin admitted.
“How about that? The first few days the two of you accompany me to work, and we see how it goes. I’d still be around if anything happened, but you could also get used to being around her, and she used to you,” Jongin offered. When he had held her alone in his arms and known no one but him would be responsible for her, he’d been scared out of his mind. Taemin’s concerns were relatable to him. He preferred it when the other was aware of the responsibility that came with caring for a child rather than taking the job lightly.
“I’d have to resign here.”
“Kyungsoo already knows that I am trying to steal you. He won’t be upset.”
“Steal me?” Taemin said and laughed in disbelief.
“Yes.”
The other pushed his bangs out of his face and then looked at his hands that he twisted nervously in his lap.
“I think I would like to try watching over her with you around first,” the other finally said.
“Great,” Jongin said, and he meant it. It was an enormous chance for him. It was also reassuring that he wouldn’t hand over Jinae to a complete novice right away. Especially, one he didn’t have any reassuring paperwork on.
“I’ll go and get my phone so we can exchange numbers.”
Taemin stared at him with big eyes.
“Is it safe for you to give your number out like that?”
Jongin cradled Jinae against his chest as she had fallen asleep.
“It’s much safer than entrusting you with the most precious person in my life,” he said pointedly.
“Yes, of course,” Taemin said flustered. The other looked cute, and Jongin hoped his gut feeling was right.
Getting up with Jinae, he went to the dressing room where he had left his phone. It still hadn’t quite hit him that he might have possibly found someone Jinae was willing to accept.
And all because of a stuffed doll? Sometimes life liked to clown him.
He quickly returned to where he had left Taemin. The other had placed the toys back into the bag and was folding the blanket when Jongin came back.
He held his phone out to the other. Taemin took it like a raw egg and typed in his contact. Carefully, he handed it back.
Lee Taemin, Jongin read. He pressed the call button, and Taemin fumbled with his phone and saved his number.
“Are you free tomorrow?” Jongin asked.
“I have a class in the evening.”
He nodded.
“I have filming in the morning until the late afternoon. I know it is short notice, but would you be willing to watch her on set?”
“Okay,” Taemin’s voice squeaked slightly, and the other cleared his throat embarrassed.
“Relax, I don’t bite,” Jongin said. The other was clearly intimidated by him. He hoped that would change quickly as they got to know each other better.
Taemin nodded and clutched his phone until his knuckles turned white.
Maybe, he should give the poor man some space to calm down.
“Cool. If you could send me some personal information, that would be great. Like the schedule of your courses, where to transfer the money and maybe your address and things like that.”
“Yeah, okay, sure.”
“I will see you tomorrow then,” Jongin said.
“Goodbye,” Taemin bowed at ninety degrees, and Jongin hoped it was alright if he only bowed his head, but Jinae was still resting against him, and he didn’t want to disturb her.
Jongin counted himself lucky when she didn’t even stir as he placed her down on a couch in the dressing room as he needed to change back into his street clothes. His luck ran out when he strapped her into her seat in his manager’s car.
“Daddy?” she asked sleepily and reached her hand out towards him.
“I am here, pumpkin,” Jongin got in next to her and squeezed her fingers.
“Mari?”
“Here,” Jongin gave her the doll.
“Taemari?” She asked and craned around in her seat, looking for the other male.
“Taemari, no, Taemin left.”
Her bottom lip wobbled, and Jongin wondered what the other had done to his daughter to earn such a reaction.
“It’s alright. You will see him tomorrow morning.” Gently he brushed her bangs out of her eyes.
“But!” She said and pushed her bottom lip out.
“Taemin had a long day. He needs to go home, too,” he explained to her. “Taemin is tired.”
Jinae still pouted but hugged her doll close. It told Jongin he had warded off a tantrum successfully. He was grateful his daughter usually listened when he explained the whys and hows to her. Except when it was about her nannies.
“Tomorrow?” She asked again.
“Tomorrow,” he promised and hoped he could convince Taemin to work for him.
At home, he encountered a new unexpected obstacle. Jinae didn’t want to bathe before going to bed. That had never been an issue before.
“You need to bath now. We need to leave early in the morning.” He tried again, but she ran away to hide behind the couch.
“Why not?” he asked and propped his hands on his hips.
“My braids.” Her head popped out over the armrest of the couch to show her pout to him. The strongest weapon of her arsenal. Jongin buried his face in his hands. How did he not see this coming?
The braids Taemin had given her were uneven, and hair peaked out everywhere, but of course, Jinae didn’t care about that. They were braids, and there was that.
“We have to comb your hair before tomorrow whether you take a bath or not.”
“No,” she said and ran out of the room.
Jongin followed her.
“But you don’t want to smell bad when you meet Taemin tomorrow, do you?”
The lump on his bed under the blanket moved.
“If you smell all fresh, Taemin will maybe make you new braids tomorrow.”
She sat up and looked pitifully at him as the blanket slipped off her head.
“Taemari will make new braids?”
“I am sure if you ask him nicely, he will do your hair again.” Jongin sincerely hoped so. He didn’t want to give his daughter false hope.
“I don’t want to stink,” she admitted in a whisper.
Jongin forced down a grin.
“Yes, that would be bad,” he said seriously instead.
“Okay,” she toddled over to him, and he picked her up.
They managed to finish bath time without any further troubles, and she ate her vegetables for dinner. So, all in all, Jongin could finally relax.
By the time she was asleep, Jongin had gotten a message from Taemin. The other had sent him a few files. One was the requested schedule, bank details and address, but there was also a CV with some more information on the young man. It was quite detailed. There was nothing on it that gave him red flags. The other was a music major and played the piano and sang. Danced as a hobby and had been to some normal schools. Nothing suspicious.
Feeling guilty but justified as a parent, he searched for the other’s social media, too. There was an Instagram account. There were some pictures from odd perspectives of almost anything, but most of them showed Taemin surrounded by friends. It always seemed to be the same four people, too. Jongin liked those pictures. It looked like they had a lot of fun and that they had a strong bond. Taemin had a cute smile. Especially, when he smiled broad enough to scrunch up his eyes into crescents. He could imagine him smiling with Jinae like that, and that soothed some of his anxious thoughts.
Satisfied, he let Taemin know when he would be picking him up. The other immediately told him about a bus station close to his place and that he could wait there since the streets where he lived were narrow.
Jongin agreed and felt something like excitement as he thought of the next day.