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"Your face more wrinkled than my laundry."
Felix hears that only smile, even though he doesn't really want it. It is like a natural response from Felix to Changbin every time he hears words that guy spitting without thinking about how he handles it. But even with that fact, Felix ended up choosing Changbin to listen to whatever he felt about everything.
Changbin stoping his drawing and decided to rotate the apple pencil he holding with his left finger. If Felix comes to his apartment without warning, it must be something serious. At least for Felix, despite Changbin knowing what exactly the topic he will hear.
If it is not about Felix one-sided love named Chan, actually Changbin will really impress.
"I should feel insensitive every time Chan hyung says I'm just his friend, right?" Felix sigh and Changbin wait for what his dear one will say. Even though Changbin really wants to say Felix is too overdramatic with his expression, he chooses to hold it back. "But I can't lie to myself for pretended not to hear that. It's fucking hurt, you know."
Felix was supposed to call Changbin hyung too, but he doesn't like it and does not find it necessary. They are in the same year in college, so why Changbin should be bothered with that epithet?
"Why am I so selfish to hope Chan hyung love me back?"
Changbin does not say anything because he believes both of them know the answer. Another reason why Changbin is still silent is he doesn't want to tell Felix to stop saying other man names.
Yes, Changbin is annoyed to hear one name all the time. But Changbin more disliked the fact if he let it out, Felix felt guilty and sad. Changbin thinking to distract Felix from talking about Chan by asking about his favourite group band. But it's not a good option since Changbin doesn't remember the group band member names.
"Did I not enough to display my feeling to him?"
"Maybe you better with me rather than always wondering why your feeling never returns."
Felix blinks and frowns when hearing Changbin words. He thinks it is just another joke like other times, and Felix won't shock because this is Changbin. People tend to assumption Changbin is a solemn guy just because of his exterior—and his major in college coincidentally in food engineering—when he is a jokester.
But now, Changbin looking at Felix with a gaze he never thought shall exist between them. It is a strange feeling, and at the same time, suddenly Felix's heart beat faster than supposed to be.
"B-but...."
"You can answer that later when I ask you again." Changbin cut Felix sentence, and they're looking at each other. Felix has many questions, but he didn't think to have the courage to ask that. "I want to say two things to you, and you already hear the one." Felix is not expected Changbin to come forward to him. Nor expected to see Changbin smile at Felix, the kind of smile he never sees it. "This is the second thing I want to tell you, Felix. Let me show you how to feel loved."
Felix can't say anything because in his mind right now, only one word appears.
Why?
Felix is still in denial. But when Changbin face slowly closes to Felix, make him reflect to close his eyes. Changbin teasing Felix like this endless time, and now it's supposed to feel his forehead flicking by him. Then hear Changbin laugh and tease Felix because he thinks something steamy happens.
It's not supposed to feel his tip of the nose against each other. Feel Changbin breath on Felix skin. Make Felix ear only hear his heartbeat tempo like crazy. From many people Felix crushed in the past and expected to give him an Eskimo kiss as his first kiss, he never thought about Changbin.
Actually, Felix never imagines this is really happening to him. When people hear what kind of the first kiss Felix want, he only feels belittled because they find it silly. And yet, the least expected person who remembers that is the one giving it to Felix right now.
Then suddenly, Felix remembers a few particular things about him. Changbin never laughs at whatever Felix says. Yes, this man will be spitting whatever his thinking at the moment. But at the same time, Changbin won't be reluctant to say sorry if he feels Felix hurt when hearing it.
"Felix." That call makes him slowly open his eyes and see Changbin smile. "Breath. You look like forgetting how to breathe a few moments ago."
Seo Changbin, do you expect Felix to remember how to breathe correctly when many sensations rush toward him at a short moment?