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McCoy shuffled into Sickbay and sank blissfully into the chair at his desk. Just a few minutes, he thought. Just a few minutes to rest my achin' feet and then I'll go check on Jim.
What were the odds, McCoy mused, that the Enterprise would deliver medical supplies to Vellix-ra on the very day the planet celebrated their emancipation from oppression and enslavement? He gave an internal snort of derision. The Vellix-ra residents couldn't celebrate like normal people with a party or parade. Instead, everyone strapped a heavy ball to each ankle and walked three kilometers!
McCoy acknowledged that the emphasis was not to finish the entire 'Walk of Remembrance', but rather – how did their governor put it? - “to honor their ancestors' suffering and be newly grateful for their freedom.”
McCoy's eye popped open. “Four kilos! Attached to each leg!” he growled aloud. “Trailing behind them like drunk cannon balls. Damn fool thing to do! Where's the celebration and logic in straining tendons and risking a heart attack?”
Logic, or course, reminded him of Spock, which subsequently reminded him of his foolhardy captain.
The governor of Vellix-ra had informed them that his planet would be honored if they chose to participate in the Walk. Of course, once he added – very sorrowfully - that no other Federation representative had ever agreed to join their walk, McCoy had a sinking feeling of what was coming next.
Kirk had immediately looked at Spock and the two men engaged in one of their silent conversations. Before McCoy could blink twice, Kirk had turned back to the governor and committed both he and Spock to the walk.
McCoy tagged along only to tend to the injured and keep an eye on his captain. He refused to wear the ankle attachments. No one was going to say that he was fool enough to drag a couple of bowling balls behind him!
Kirk began to stagger halfway through the walk. It was no surprise to the doctor. The path was uneven, rocky and much of it went uphill. By the time 1.5 kilometers were done, participants were either dropping likes flies or moaning pitifully.
His barks of “Damn it, Jim! This is insane! Take those damn things off!” went unheeded. Kirk continued on gamely, leaning heavily onto the Vulcan. By 2 kilometers, Spock had his arm firmly wrapped around his captain's waist.
McCoy grudgingly appreciated how Spock set aside his dislike of physical contact to assist his captain. McCoy suspected that Spock's arm was more than just support and that the Vulcan actually carried his captain the final kilometer.
Kirk was drenched in sweat by the time they reached the end, but he smiled weakly in triumph. McCoy was rather envious of Spock's undeniable physical stamina: the only sweat on the Vulcan was what had dripped onto him from his captain.
The Vellix-ra population cheered Kirk and Spock across the finish line as if they were old-time rock stars. The governor was so moved by their participation and completion of the event (which very few accomplished) that he granted both men full Vellix-ra citizenship. It was only McCoy's stern demand that captain and first officer return to the ship for medical care and rest (Kirk was still listing heavily toward the Vulcan) that resulted in the crowd reluctantly saying goodbye to the Enterprise's senior officers. McCoy rolled his eyes as the entire crowd cheered loudly and waved madly as the two men transported away.
McCoy stayed briefly behind to ensure that no one else needed his care before returning to the ship. He was gratified to learn that Kirk had indeed used the medical sauna pool in Sickbay he had recommended. He was surprised to hear that Spock also used the pool since he had not seemed in any discomfort.
McCoy decided he had caught his second wind and stood up. He knew that Kirk was more likely to need his services, so he went to the captain's quarters first. He had only walked into Kirk's cabin a few steps before a long, low groan was heard.
It should have made him leap forward to assist his captain, but instead, his feet stopped of their own accord. There was something about that sound. It didn't quite resonate like distress. In fact, it sounded like …
“Ooooh, Spock. Wait, wait!” Kirk gasped. “Stop for a minute.”
There was no further sound except for Kirk's ragged breathing. McCoy tried to take a few more steps to see just what in tarnation was going on, but his feet seemed nailed to the floor.
“If the pressure is too intense, I will moderate my speed and strength.”
“No!” Kirk yelped. “Just give me a minute to catch my breath.”
McCoy listened to the sound of bedsheets or clothes rustling. Strike me down now, Lord, McCoy prayed desperately. A phaser. An open airlock. A Gorn. Just something please kill me!
“OK, OK,” Kirk breathed. “I'm good. We're good. Keep going.”
It was quiet for several beats before the filthiest moan McCoy ever heard floated out to him. “Ooooooh, uh … argh …, Ooooh Spock, that's … sooooooo goooood.”
I've had a stroke. That's why I can't move. All of this is a hallucination caused by a cerebral hemorrhage.
“I had not expected you to be quite so verbal and appreciative of my efforts so quickly.”
Kirk gave a strangled laugh. “If it embarrasses you, I can try to stop. OOOOOH, but I don't know that I can. Oooooooh, do that … oooooh... ugh... yes!”
So this is what a cat feels like right before it hacks-up a hairball.
“I am a Vulcan. I do not experience embarrassment.”
“Ooooh r-r-right. Ooooh, that's … there. Right there!”
“I shall attempt to stroke that spot with each movement.”
He must have been successful, given the string of Kirk's blissful and guttural sighs.
“Is that satisfactory?” Spock asked.
That smug Vulcan bastard!
“Yes! Y-y-yes! Do you – argh..ugh … want me to try and be quiet?”
“I am not averse to your vocalizations, Captain.”
McCoy looked around the room, desperate to find something he could use to lobotomize himself. I'm never going to be right again.
“Spock!” Kirk exclaimed in exasperation. “Don't call me 'captain' when your hands are wrapped around my -”
Motion suddenly returned to McCoy. He slapped his hands over his ears and ran from the room.
“ - ankle. Was that my door?”
Spock got up from the end of the bed. He looked around the room. “Negative. No one is here.”
Kirk hummed in doubt, then shrugged. He playfully wriggled his toes in Spock's direction. “Vulcan techniques are amazing, Spock. I never expected the pain in my leg would melt away like that. My left leg is ready for your magic fingers.”
Spock's brows rose. “I assure you that no magic is involved.”
“I'll be the judge of that, Mr. Spock,” Kirk said drowsily, his eyes glinting with affection. He wriggled his toes again. “Carry on!”
Back in Sickbay, Chapel and the nurses stared at McCoy in puzzlement. He repeated the same sentence over and over, almost as if he was trying to convince himself of what he was saying: “I haven't seen Jim or Spock since they transported up to the ship … I haven't seen Jim or Spock since they transported up to the ship … I haven't ... ”
THE END