Chapter Text
Mahiru started the group chat!
Mahiru added 15 people!
[ 3:29 AM ]
Kazuichi : I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO STENAGLE YOU I KNEW YOU WERE THE MURDERER NEVER TRUST A MF WHO SAYS THEY'RE THE SHERIFF IN KURDER MUSTERY ON ROBLIX
Kazuichi : …
Kazuichi : this is. the wrong chat
Kauzichi : what the fuck is this
Sonia : lol roblox player no wonder u get no bitches
Kazuichi : I GET WOMEN ON THE DAILY STFU
Kazuichi : OH.
Kazuichi : hahaha sorry sonia didn't mean that didn't even notice it was you <33
Sonia : down horrendous
Kauzichi : i am being who i am for my pride. 🌈🌈
Sonia : omg I didn't knowww happy pride month btw 💕💕💕
Hajime : it's fucking november.
Mahiru : yeah pride
Hiyoko: yeah
Hiyoko: gay gay homosex
Teruteru : this is like when people start celebrating Christmas before Thanksgiving but worse
Chiaki : does japan even celebrate thanksgiving
Teruteru : No but it's still funny shush
Kazuichi : homosexes aren't funny srry
Fuyuhiko : can confirm kazuichi is not funny
Kazuichi : KYS???
Sonia : damn sending death threats to trans people and on pride month too????
Kazuichi : WHAAT
Kauzichi : NO NO I AM SRRY
Kazuichi : YT VIDEO APOLOGY COMING UP I LOVE TRANS PEOPLE
Mahiru : I'm pretty sure like everyone here is trans except for like hiyoko and maybe chiaki
Chiaki : actually I'm nonbinary
Mahiru : my point stands
Akane : hiyoko token cis baby uwu 🥺🥺
Hiyoko : awww kill yourself 🥺🥺
Akane : it's pride month cunt post ur notes app apology rn
Hiyoko : god I hate gays /hj
Hiyoko : …….I meant /j I swear
Kauzichi : hiyoko homophobic (canon) (real) (not fake) (came to my house and called me homophobic words)
Fuyuhiko : (at 3am)
Hajime : (she hate crimed me?!?!)
Hiyoko : DYE
Akane : DURING PRIDE MONTH
Fuyuhiko : I just realized it's actually not pride month what we were saying it so much I genuinely thought it was June
Kazuichi : fuyuhiko do you know what year it is
Fuyuhiko : kys
Akane : fuyuhiko it's February of 1989!!
Hajime : literally 1984
Chiaki: no dumbfucks it's 21st night of September fuyuhiko just didn't remember
Kazuichi : anemisa </33
Nagito : omg caretakers reference?!?!? Dementia?!?!?! Haha funny old people dying?!?!?
Hajime : literally kys just by your appearance i'm homophobic and want every gay dead
Nagito : talentless behavior
Hajime : this is why i have pure vanilla and you don't
Nagito : die actually
Hajime : no you, homosex
Sonia : back away everyone we're witnessing mental illness
Hiyoko : ewww mental illness stinky
Mikan : knowing you you're probably serious
Nagito : apology video right now hiyoko
Fuyuhiko : nagito you look like you would be voiced by Chris pratt
Kazuichi : i kin chris pratt 💞
Akane : Chris Pratt is homophobic...kaz u trying to tell us something
Kazuichi : yeah <3
Sonia : kazuichi are you slash surs or slash jay
Kazuichi : find out next time on dragon ba
Nagito : dragon these balls across your moms face aye gottem
Kazuichi: You're the reason why I kin Chris Pratt.
Chiaki : we truly live in a society
Chiaki : just like in amongus
Chiaki : susiety
Teruteru : feeling like the joker rn
Teruteru : actually i wanna feel the joker
Teruteru : slash sr–
Nagito : teruteru homosexual?!?!?!?!
Ibuki : I heard the word homosexual and I came as soon as I could
Teruteru : can i not wanna kiss a guy without it being gay nobody even likes gay people and i can say that because it's not pride month
Ibuki : dw if you're wearing socks it doesn't count
Teruteru : i'm…
Teruteru : … i'm not wearing socks.
Ibuki : 📷🤳📹🎥📸🎦📷
Teruteru : NOOO
Teruteru : my career… my life… my future… all gone because i didn't wear socks…
Fuyuhiko : what kind of fucking anti bullying psa is this
Ibuki : don't do drugs kids or they'll make you gay!!!! Homksexual weed!!!!! At 3am!!!!!!
Teruteru : gone sexual!!!!!
Nagito : he came
Nagito : to my house!!!
Nagito : where did you think that was going
Teruteru : sexual.
Chiaki : amongus
Hajime : is that the only fucking word you know
Kazuichi : can we bring sussy baka back pleaseee
Fuyuhiko: we absolutely can fucking not
Byakuya : can yall shut the fuck up I'm trying read the entirety of the twilight series
Kazuichi : f
Kazuichi : fuyuhiko you sussy baka 🥺🥺
Ibuki : kazuichi's last moments (real) (not fake)
Fuyuhiko : so true ibuki I'm actually otw as we speak
Kazuichi : you can't even reach the top shelf what ru gonna do… step on a baby stool to strangle me
Sonia : oh damn kazuichi's dead dead
Gundham : rip that virgin Ayyyyyeeee
Ibuki : fly high kaz 🕊️
Kazuichi : guys I'm not gonna fucking die 😭😭
Kazuichi : like I'm pretty sure fuyuhiko isn't evenNGOVGICFGICGIFITDTDOGIDITDTIDURXUFXUXRK
Teruteru : happy pride mornt
Ibuki : welp looks like fuyuhiko got him
Chiaki : damn is he going hell or heaven or the spiral abyss from mihoyo genshin honkai impact the 3rd
Akane : what kind of language are you even speaking
Kazuichi : FUYUHIKO SLAMMED MY FUXKING HEAD AGAJNST MY KEYBOARD OW
Ibuki : sometimes i can still hear kaz's voice 😢
Ibuki : screaming loudly down the halls like the big pussy that he was 💔
Sonia : we lost a real one today 😔
Fuyuhiko : damn rip
Chiaki : should we hold a roblox funeral just for him
Kazuichi : I fucking hate all of you
Kazuichi : but yes, i'd actually like a roblox funeral when i actually die pls
Chiaki : can i stream your funeral /genq
Kazuichi : only if nobody says "poggers" when they lower my roblox avatar into the ground
Chiaki : ah okay, ty
Ibuki : kazuichi when you're dead can I log into your account and give myself all of your robux
Kazuichi : what the fuck no kys
Ibuki : wow and on pri-
Kazuichi : yeah 😁 fuck gay people especially you
Ibuki : 🥺🥺 143.890.78912
Kazuichi : i don't understand ur homosex language
Hajime : DID IBUKI JUST FUCKING DOXX KAZ?!?! I WAS GONE FOR 5 MINUTES WHAT
Kazuichi : wait
Kazuichi : WIAT WHAT THE FUCK
Kazuichi : ALL BECAUSE I DIDN'T GIVE YOU ROBUX??? GREEDY ASS CUNT
Ibuki : THE ROBUX IS WORTH MORE THAN YOU EVER WERE
Kazuichi : IS THAT A FUCKING DSMP REFERENCE
Kazuichi : ROBLOX >>>> MINECRAFT
Fuyuhiko : how did you know what the reference was 🤨
Kazuichi : uhm.
Kazuichi : can we stream my funeral now thxxxx 😁😁
Chiaki : aye no don't dodge the question
Chiaki : you probably cried during the tommy exile arc didn't you? Gay ass
Kazuichi : no
Kazuichi : cried when dream got put into prison
Chiaki : of course you did
Akane : kaz do you ship dnf
Kazuichi : THIS IS NOT MY FUXKING Q&A FOR MY ROBLOX YOUTUBE CHANNEL STOP
Sonia : of course you have pink hair and pronouns
Akane : are we just going to ignore the fact he dodged my dnf question
Fuyuhiko : what in fucks name is a dnf
Akane : dreamnotfound the best gay ship to exist 🥺💚💙💚💙 /s
Fuyuhiko : well damn hope they find him
Ibuki : how many brain cells are in ur head, answer honestly fuyuhiko
Fuyuhiko : kill yourself
Ibuki : damn… right when dnf is the topic… why? do you hate to see gay people winning fuyuhiko??
Fuyuhiko : yes actually /s
Ibuki : during pride month???
Kazuichi : smh my head
Chiaki : shaking and crying can't believe this
Chiaki : anyways I'm gonna go reread homestuck for the 10th time brb
Ibuki : hope ur home gets unstuck 💔💔
Hajime : hope your cookies stop running
Gundham : hope your doom is eternal
Nekomaru : hope the shit in the toilet gets unclogged
Akane : lol what video game is that
Nekomaru : VR lol
Hajime : this motherfuckers the president of poop
Nagito : the connoisseur of caca
Peko: Are you all mentally ill.
Fuyuhiko : yes
Hajime: yes
Nagito : yes
Teruteru : pp
[ 4:01 AM ]
Kazuichi : wait are we just going to ignore the fact that byakuya reads twilight
Gundham : even I'm not that emo
Chiaki : does he secretly have a daughter nicknamed nessie, which was taken from the loch ness monster
Fuyuhiko : does he have to pick either a werewolf or a vampire
Ibuki : probably… and then he picks the vampire and later in the movies or books or whatever he turns into one as well <3
Teruteru : and then byakuya is pregnant with the nessie girl! 😮
Hajime : how do you all just know the plot of twilight
Nagito : how do YOU know it was the plot of twilight
Hajime :
Hajime : no comment
Mahiru: Do you guys actually read/watch twilight unironically??
Hajime : uh uh uhm Er I er Uh
Mahiru : Oh my god.
Sonia : man said "I er uh"
Sonia : busted out a whole jfk impression
Teruteru : true but also
Teruteru : hajime are you team edward or team jacob
Hajime : .
Hajime: team jacob
Teruteru : SOOOOO TRUE
Gundham : furries, both of you
Teruteru : ur literally going through the emo phase every 12 year old goes through don't insult me
Gundham : at least I don't find wolves hot
Teruteru : literally kys you don't understand the pros of being team jacob… ur probably team edward aren't you
Gundham : who the hell is Edward
Kazuichi : the smoking hot vampire from the hit movie/book series twilight
Sonia : Edward nuts aye gottem
Sonia : I don't think I did the joke right
Ibuki : it's okay we all can't be gen z 🥺
Sonia : sigh I'll never be a true gaslighting gatekeeping girlboss
Nagito : what even is gatekeeping
Fuyuhiko : wouldn't you like to know
Ibuki : fuyuhiko gaslight gakekeep girlboss canon?? 🤩🤩
Chiaki : canon real not fake?????
Chiaki : why did my phone try to auto correct real not to realn't
Ibuki : maybe ur keyboard is trying to silence the canon by making it a….
Ibuki : headcanon!
Ibuki : (dun dun dun) (lightning strikes) (old piano beginning with o you see in movies set in creepy old abandoned houses starts playing)
Kazuichi : fuyuhiko headcanons himself as tall
Fuyuhiko : I literally have your address
Kazuichi : no you don't??
Hajime : ibuki literally fucking doxxed you yesterday we all have your address
Kazuichi : wiat
Kazuichi : FUCK
Kazuichi : IBUKI YOU GREEDY ASS ROBUX HUNGRY LITTLE BITCH I AM LITERALLY GONNA STRANGLE YOU AND IT'LL BE UR ROBLOX FUNERAL CHIAKI IS STREAMING AND I WILL SAY "POGGERS" WHEN UR ROBLOX AVATAR IS BEING LOWERED INTO THE CASKET
Ibuki : 🥺🥺
Ibuki : kazuichi soda, 16 years old, 172cm tall, bank account password 11037980112, first pets name gabby
Ibuki : have fun shopping everyone!!
Kazuichi : wait no that's leon's password the fuck do you mean that's mine
Ibuki : oops my bad I meant 2258973214
Kazuichi : CUNT
Kazuichi : BITCH
Kazuichi : FUYUHIKO QUIT FUCKING BUYING LIGHTSABERS ON MY ACCOUNT
Kazuichi : AND WHO THE FUCK IS BUYING A SET OF THE TWILIGHT BOOKS ON THERE AS WELL
Kazuichi : okay fess the fuck up who just bought a dildo
Nagito : betting all my money that it was teruteru <3
Ibuki : betting all of kazuichi's money it was teruteru <3
Kazuichi : FUCK YOU
Kazuichi : chiaki I swear on everything
Kazuichi : did you just buy a 200$ ps5 on my account
Chiaki : uhhhh sorry can't hear you I'm too busy gaming on my new ps5
Kazuichi : i am dropping out i hate you all
Chiaki : I'm crankin fuckin 90's morty