Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was happening again. She would be reaped, she knew that all the Capitol spewed was utter bullshit but she had allowed herself to believe that she could be safe. She had won the games, she had done the tour, she had done all they had asked of her even the nasty horrible things she could never talk about. All in the name of saving those she loved but even then she had pushed them away herself and those relationships had withered away long ago. The only people who still remotely cared about her were her fellow District 11 victors, Seeder and Chaff.

So when the announcement came she immediately rushed to Seeder, tears streaming down her face, it took only a few more seconds until Chaff was stumbling in through the door to reach them. President Snow had informed Panem that the previous victors would be reaped again for the 75th Hunger Games. Emily had won 3 years prior when her name was called for the 72nd Hunger Games, it would be between Seeder and herself that would be forced to compete in the games as they were the only female victors for their district.

She prepared herself the morning of the reaping feeling like she was moving way too slow, she put her wavy brown hair in a half-up half-down hairdo. Her skin was looking pale from how nervous she felt and her dark brown eyes looked tired. She hadn’t been sleeping well ever since the games and with the announcement, sleep was welcomed even less.

She put on a forest green dress that went up to her knees paired with black flats and then waited patiently until the peacekeepers came to get her. She waited what felt like an eternity for the peacekeepers to arrive, her anxiety catching up with her and settling into her stomach, tying it in knots. She had been put to walk in between Chaff and Seeder in a single file line to the town square, they had all bowed their heads to each other in greeting, looking solemn at the events that were to come.

Emily was the youngest of the three only being 21 and winning the games at 18, she had found it extremely unlucky that in her final year of being able to be reaped she had been chosen. She felt like the universe had laughed right in her face the minute “Emily Greene” had left the lips of Trinity Gambles, district eleven’s Capitol escort. The whole experience had felt like a nightmare, the way the Capitol saw the games as entertainment while children were forced to go against each other. She had killed 3 people in the games and she could still recall each of their cries and voices as they begged for mercy, she thought and had foolishly hoped she would never have to get her hands dirty again but the Capitol was never known for being kind.

They were taken onto the stage as Trinity introduced them, wearing her fake smile and making herself sound far more excited than she looked, in truth Trinity had always been kind. Yes, she was always more dramatic and didn’t always understand the negativity behind the Hunger Games but Emily knew it was because of where she had been raised. Trinity always tried to help the tributes adjust, giving out handy advice about the Capitol and how things would be vastly different from what they were used to. She felt it was because Trinity had been doing this job for thirty years now that she had seen the way the games tore up families, the fear in the screams of loved ones when they heard their child’s name being called. Trinity had seen that it wasn’t honorable for the districts but instead painful and she stopped trying to push the narrative of the games being something you should be proud of when she got a close look at just how young the tributes really were.

They were just kids, some as young as twelve, and Trinity had never felt so useless as she looked at their scared faces. She had never understood the type of fear they went through but the longer she stayed in the business the harder it was for her to ignore the pain in her heart when she would have to say goodbye to the tributes once they entered the arena. She would never dare speak the words aloud and even thinking about them made it feel dangerous but the closer she worked with the districts the more she felt that the Hunger Games were a cruel and evil scheme.

Looking down at the crowd from where Emily stood on the stage she saw the faces of people she knew, people who she might’ve even considered friends at one point before the games had changed her, now they just reminded her that caring for someone and being cared for made you vulnerable and she had promised herself she would never allow anyone to control her in that way again. But look at her now, she thought as her eyes traveled across people’s faces, she was being controlled yet again. Forever being a pawn to President Snow and an example of how easy it is to fall into line when people are afraid. Fear would always be their downfall.

Trinity finished her speech, all of which Emily had not paid attention to, too focused on memorizing the people and surroundings of district 11 for this might be the last time she would ever get to see it.

“Ladies first,” Trinity said more seriously. She walked slowly to the bowl that only contained two pieces of paper briefly looking at Seeder and Emily before walking back to the center of the stage.

“This year’s District 11 tribute is Seeder Ringer,” Emily’s eyes widened as she looked over at Seeder. She had always been a strong woman and Emily had greatly admired her for it, she had wished she could grow to be as strong as her but looking at her now she could only see the pain and sadness etched on her face.

Emily didn’t know where it came from, maybe it was because Seeder had been her mentor or maybe it was because even after Emily had blocked everyone out Seeder still always made an effort to care for her, and in truth, Seeder was the only reason Emily was still alive today. Emily knew in that second that Seeder deserved better, that she was a caring woman who deserved a break, deserved a life that she could actually live and rest easy with, and with determination Emily spoke up.

“I volunteer as tribute,” She stepped forward but Seeder took a hold of her wrist. Emily turned to look back at Seeder to see her face was contorted in confusion and fear, not for herself but fear for Emily and what she had just done.

Before Seeder could utter any words Emily said “It’s okay” and tried to give her a small smile but her face wouldn’t cooperate. Seeder slowly let go, looking sadly at her as Emily stepped forward to stand next to Trinity.

“A volunteer! Exciting, this is only our 2nd one. Our District 11 female tribute is Emily Greene. And now for our male tribute.”

Trinity made her way to the bowl before coming back to the center of the stage and reading “Chaff Hangerton” He made his way to stand on the other side of her before Trinity spoke again.

“Let’s give a round of applause for this year's tributes!” No one clapped instead, there was a single whistle from somewhere in the crowd before three fingers were raised into the air, slowly more hands were being raised until the whole crowd had their hands up. Emily let the tears fall down her face as she put her own shaky hand up to return the signal. It seems this only angered the peacekeepers because then Chaff and herself were dragged off the stage and taken straight to the train, there were no goodbyes this time but even if they had the time Emily had no one she needed to say them to.

Seeder and Trinity soon came onto the train as well. Emily decided against staying in the lounge and instead went to her room. She sat on her bed and thought over what she had just done. She wasn’t sure if she had just made a foolish decision, going back into the games, the one thing that had destroyed her the first time, and yet she had willingly gone into it this time. She knew it was too late to rethink and truthfully it was unfair to Seeder that she was regretting her decision. This was what she chose and she would own up to it, she would go into the games and try her best and hope that she’d live a few days before her ultimate death.

Sitting on her bed she looked out through the window watching as the scenery changed from the fields and farms to woods and thick trees, they had left district 11 behind. A knock on her door caused her to look away and to the figure standing at the door, there stood Seeder, Emily waved her in and she came and sat next to her on the end of her bed.

“You know when I first met you, you had this fire in you. It’s what got you through the games and it has been unfortunate to see it wither away, but I can see it again. I don’t know what compelled you to volunteer today and I probably will never get the answer to that but one thing I do know is that this is the first time I've seen the fire ignited since those first days I met you.”

Seeder paused and got up. She made her way to the window, looking out at the dark green trees that towered over the train as they zoomed by, for a brief moment Emily wondered what it would be like if she managed to escape, would she be able to live her life within those woods, let the greenery swallow her up and slowly forget the evils of this world? She imagines she would hardly be able to live in peace, she’d constantly feel like she was being watched and the sounds of the wild animals would always remind her of the games.

Seeder was speaking again, "You did it once Emily, there's hope you can do it again. Life with hope goes a long way, so grab onto every little bit of it that you can. You'll be surprised to see how strong one can be when there's something pushing them forward." She turned looking at Emily directly in her eyes, “and thank you, I can never repay you for volunteering today but I would hope you know that I am eternally grateful for it.”

Emily only nodded, not being able to get any words out with the emotions that were struggling to break free.

After their talk Seeder had left to get ready for dinner, they met later and ate with Chaff as they spoke about strategies. Both Chaff and Emily agreed that gaining allies would be the smartest way to stay alive longer.

The rest of the trip was a blur as she lost herself to her thoughts of what was to come.

Arriving at the Capitol gave Emily a very uneasy feeling. She felt as if she was being watched the moment she stepped off the train.

The last time she had been here was a few months prior to a gala President Snow had thrown. Emily went, talking to the necessary people but never ventured out more than she needed to. She liked her privacy, liked being able to keep something away from Snow that he could never get his hands on. She had been smart in distancing herself from others, sure she missed the feeling of being loved and had on many occasions forgotten what being cared for even meant but it kept her safe.

She was always suspicious of ulterior motives and therefore had decided not to communicate with others, even the victors, it was safest that way and it had worked. President Snow had nothing on her, he couldn’t dangle a threat over her and she was satisfied to know that he couldn’t hurt her.

Emily’s feelings about being watched were somewhat correct. Not only were they tightly watched by peacekeepers, making sure none of them would make a run for it before the games but there were other things too. There would be interviews, the other tributes would constantly be watching each other and checking out the competition and then the mentors always had their own two cents to add so that their tributes could possibly make it out alive. It was always an endless cycle of trying to please everyone in a game that catered only to those in the Capitol.

She was escorted to a salon as soon as she was out of the train.

There she was greeted by Everly, her stylist, and the rest of her team. She was scrubbed down, waxed and her nails were manicured to perfection. After they were finished with getting her to their liking she was released to go speak to Everly about what kind of outfit she would wear tomorrow for the tribute’s welcome.

They decided that she would wear a long purple dress that would hug her curves with a deep brown cape that was covered in leaves. Her hair would be pulled up into a braided crown with baby breath flowers sprinkled into it. Emily felt like it was very different from the usual outfits that they wore, usually consisting of just browns to signify the dirt all the food is grown on. It seemed Everly had chosen a bit of color this year so Chaff and Emily could stand out more to the audience and Emily welcomed it knowing she would need the attention.

The next day rolled around quickly, the night was filled with horrible nightmares of her first games, and she had given up on getting any rest after waking up for the 3rd time.

She was standing in the outfit that Everly had told her about yesterday and she was currently getting her makeup and hair done. Her makeup consisted of dark purple eyeliner with small flowers placed onto her cheekbones and dark green lipstick. She wore black heels that felt incredibly uncomfortable as she was forced to walk in them while being taken to where the other tributes were.

She looked out at the rest of them from afar, she knew them all, of course, she had been forced to go to many events when she first won but after the "excitement" of her win had died down she had been lucky enough to slink into the background. She looked at them now, looked at all the people she’d either have to kill or fall victim to. She made her way to district eleven’s chariot but stopped in her tracks when she noticed Mags, District 4's female tribute, struggling to get onto her chariot. She didn’t have to think hard before she excused herself from Seeder and Chaff and was striding over to her.

Emily had always had a soft spot for Mags after her first games. They had met at one of the parties the Capitol was throwing and when Emily couldn’t take the fake smiles anymore she excused herself for some fresh air, Mags had followed her.

They didn’t say anything to each other but when Mags placed a comforting hand over hers Emily couldn’t help the overwhelming feelings that had been plaguing her mind. She cried and hugged Mags who whispered comforting words to her while stroking her hair as a mother would. She had never felt so safe in somebody’s arms but Mags had instantly soothed her and she could never forget the way she had readily helped her. She had been so angry to see her as one of the tributes this year, and she vowed that she would make sure to be kind to her any chance she got, knowing that it would in no way make up for their horrible situation.

“Here Mags let me help you,” She said, offering her a small smile. “We can’t have you ruining your beautiful outfit now can we?”

She was wearing a silver dress with hints of blue, and when she moved it looked almost as if she were wearing water, it was quite fascinating to Emily. Mags smiled back at her, waving her off and then gesturing to her outfit. She had noticed that as the years went by Mags spoke less and less, instead using her hands to speak the words she could not.

“Oh? Do you like it? Maybe I'll let you borrow it sometime,” Emily replied and Mags smiled again, a big smile that Emily returned which showed her dimples. She helped Mags get onto the chariot and was starting to get ready to leave so she could get situated on her own chariot.

“Well Mags, it’s been lovely to see you but I really should be going now, wouldn’t want the horses to leave me,” Mags smiled waving goodbye to her which Emily returned, however, she only got a few steps in before another voice was stopping her. One that she was sure she might even hate.

Finnick Odair.

Her brother had been reaped in the same Hunger Games as Finnick but he showed him no mercy as his trident pierced him right through his chest. Of course only after she had won her games had she truly understood that the killings were for the most part never personal, how could they be when they barely had time to get acquainted with each other? but she was still angry. Her brother had barely turned 12, it was his first time putting his name in and he had the unfortunate luck of being called. Emily had screamed for him from the sidelines as their father held her back from running to him, she was only 11 at the time but she clearly understood that his name being called meant that she would never see her brother again.

She hated to think of her family, the way they were all gone and she hated being around Finnick because it was a constant reminder that her brother wasn’t here because of his doing. She wondered if he remembered her when he came to her district for his tour, as she held onto her dad with tears streaming down her face, speaking words that did absolutely nothing to calm the ache in her heart. Perhaps it was just a hazy memory and to him and she was only a victor and survivor of the Hunger Games.

He came into view in front of her, “Leaving so soon?” He questioned while munching on something.

“Sugar cube?” He offered, extending his hand where a lone white glistening block of sugar sat.

Emily's eyes traveled from his hand to his face where his signature smirk sat. She stood staring right back at him, her face set in stone.

“No” She replied, merely raising her eyebrow when he shrugged and popped the cube into his own mouth.

“How is our dear mystery victor? No one’s heard much from you since you won, any secrets to divulge?” he asked, raising an eyebrow and leaning in while the smirk still adorned his face.

Emily wondered how he could be so carefree and so happy after living through the games and having to do it again but she thinks if she stared long enough she could start to see the cracks in his mask. It didn’t matter to her though, Finnick would soon just be another person she’d have to kill. She wondered if her brother would be proud of her for doing it.

Her thoughts were interrupted when a voice sounded telling the victors to get into their assigned chariots.

She looked back to Finnick who was already staring at her “Don’t get cold out there,” she told him before walking past him and to her chariot. His outfit consisted of just trousers and no shirt.

As she walked away she could hear his distant yell, “Maybe you can let me borrow that cape sometime!” which caused her to roll her eyes.

When she got to her chariot she saw Peeta and Katniss walking onto their own, she stared at them for a while as they were being fixed up. They did look lovely together, she thought even if their love was fake, and she knew it must’ve been hard to go straight back into the games after just winning one. She couldn’t help but feel bad for the both of them, they had been promised safety and freedom only for it to be yanked from under their feet. Peeta looked around as if sensing someone staring before locking eyes with Emily, she sent him a nod and after a few seconds, in which she could tell he was wondering if she meant any harm, he sent her one back. She got into the chariot next to Chaff and within the next few minutes, the horses were starting to pull them out into view.

“How are you feeling?” Chaff questioned her. Emily had never spoken to Chaff much, yes he was from home but after the games, she liked to live an isolated life and unlike Seeder who had actually met and mentored her, Chaff had no other connection to her other than winning the Hunger Games too. He had tried to talk to her a few times but gave up after seeing she wanted to be left alone. He would still greet her if they ever crossed paths, and sometimes if he made too much food he’d send it to Seeder to give to her. He was a kind man, sometimes too kind with the ladies but he meant well and she wished he had gotten a better hand at life.

“Tired.” They both chuckled, “I mean I never really got used to all the Capitol lifestyle.” She paused plastering on a smile and waving to the people in the stands who would cheer if they got a wave in return, “They have it so easy while the districts starve, they don’t know how horrible this all really is.”

Chaff nods in agreement while waving and smiling at the people in the crowd, “Yes, it seems we are merely entertainment for them. We kill and fight one another and they cheer us on as if we’re not children when we’re put into that arena.”

“They play cat and mouse with us, and they think it’s funny. It’s sick,” Emily replies with a bitter tone.

Chaff hums in agreement “You know I wish we had been able to talk more back when we were home, I find that your opinions are valuable.”

Emily looks at him then, her smile dropping slightly. He was right, she hadn’t realized how lonely the world was when there was no one to talk to but she had felt that she deserved the punishment of being forgotten.

Talking to Chaff, to someone who understood what the games did make her feel like she wasn’t as alone as she made herself think and she regretted pushing him and Seeder away. Regretted not having moved on with life and instead letting the guilt and trauma swallow her up because she was stronger than that, she knew she was. She finally understood what Seeder had been telling her on the train, a little bit of hope, hope that things could get better, could take you a long way. She would follow her advice and she would hold onto any bit that she could because she would need it to survive the 75th Hunger Games and she was planning on making it out alive, no matter what it took.

Chapter Text

The tributes had come back in after being introduced and as soon as Chaff and Emily had gotten off their chariot Seeder whisked them away to meet a few others. She took them to where Katniss, Peeta, and Haymitch stood.

“Haymitch” Seeder greeted.

“Seeder, hello!” He turned to Katniss and Peeta before pointing at Emily and Chaff “These are the district 11 tributes, Emily,” She turned to face Katniss and Peeta pulling out her hand for them to shake and sending them a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, “and this is Chaff.”

Emily tried to warn Katniss, “Careful he can be very friendly-” but she hadn’t fully gotten to warn her before Chaff was kissing her fully on the lips, a shocked look crossing Katniss’ face one that Peeta mirrored. Emily had the good sense to pull Chaff back when he still hadn’t stopped kissing her, sending him a small glare for making the young girl uncomfortable.

Katniss turned to Haymitch who awkwardly laughed, “Yes Emily’s right he can be very uh friendly. Don’t invite him into your house or he’ll finish all your liquor.” He laughed but seemed a bit peeved about the thought.

Emily knew Haymitch was speaking from experience as Chaff and himself could often be found together sharing a few drinks and it slightly amused her to see how protective Haymitch was of his liquor. After a few more minutes of speaking, Haymitch excused himself with his two tributes and the trio made their way to the exit. Emily watched them as they made their way into the elevator.

Johanna Mason followed after them, briefly catching her eyes and bowing her head at her as a way of greeting her which Emily returned. Emily decided that she too was done socializing for the day, feeling overwhelmed by seeing so many familiar faces, and informed Seeder that she would be making her way back to their rooms. Seeder nodded her head but told Emily that they’d talk later about what she should do while training with the other tributes the next day.

Emily went to the elevators, waiting for them to return down from dropping off the other tributes. Once the elevator opened Emily stepped in and finally let herself relax, happy that no one else had been waiting so she wouldn’t have to keep talking to someone. The doors to the elevator were closing but at the last moment somebody’s hand shot out to stop the doors from doing so and to her utter dismay Finnick Odair stepped into the elevator next to her.

Emily debated on getting out and just waiting for the next elevator but she realized it would make her look foolish and possibly even scared of him and the last thing she wanted was for him to think she was afraid of him. The doors closed and they descended the building. Emily felt rigid and tense as the silence stretched on. It was quiet for a while, Emily started to get comfortable with the silence and hoped it would stay like that but of course, her wishes were not met.

“We were interrupted earlier. You never got to answer my question.” Emily could see him staring at her from the corner of her eye, however, she continued to stare forward.

“Curiosity killed the cat Odair,” She could see his smile widen and a small chuckle leaves his lips which only served to annoy her.

“But satisfaction brought it back Greene,” he countered and Emily had to fight hard not to roll her eyes.

She let the silence settle again before speaking making sure to keep her eyes trained on anything but Finnick, “There’s nothing to know. I won the games and went back home. End of story.”

He clicked his tongue, “No actually, I think that’s where the story begins.”

She scoffed and this time couldn’t help the roll of her eyes before looking at the number of the floors to see if they were getting closer to the garage where cars would be waiting to escort them back to the tribute center.

She felt the urge to try something different to get him to stop talking to distract him from being so curious about her life, thinking back on their earlier conversation she thought about what he had said and she started to untie her cape and turned to him, pulling him in and leaving a shocked look on his face at her actions.

She tossed the cape over his shoulders before carefully bringing her fingers to the string to tie them together. She could feel the warmth of his skin as her fingers tied the material and could feel his throat bob as he swallowed. The entire time she could feel his eyes trained on her and when she looked up to meet them she saw a different look on his face. He looked serious and slightly confused, there was another emotion however that she couldn’t quite figure out but instead of thinking about it she moved away from him and adjusted the cape as his eyes followed her movements.

She felt a small sad smile make its way onto her face as she looked at his appearance, dropping her mask for a second before composing herself once again. He almost looked like those superheroes her brother used to tell her about, the ones from his messy drawings that she kept in a box under her bed. A certain sadness settled in her heart when she thought about how she may never be able to look at those drawings again. Trying to distract herself she spoke to Finnick.

“There, Mr. Odair, now maybe you won’t be so cold,” She said sarcastically as she tilted her head a little. She noticed how the green of the leaves brought out the green in his eyes even more and she felt that if she had known him under any other circumstances she might even think they were kind eyes, not the eyes of someone who could so easily kill you and not bat an eyelash.

The elevator dinged letting Emily know that she had arrived at the garage and she turned and stepped out walking forward without looking back at him, in doing so she missed the small smile that Finnick’s face held as he adjusted the cape before following her and going the opposite direction for the car that awaited him. He was truly confused and entirely intrigued by Emily Greene.

The next day Emily was awakened early, by her makeup team, they dressed her in a black sports bra and put a gray tank top over it, her hair was then put into two french braids and she wore black yoga pants and black trainers. The night before Seeder had gone over the plan with Chaff and Emily telling them to get close to some of the other tributes so they could have some allies while in the games. Seeder told them that it would be smartest to stick with a group the first few days since all tributes would be returning victors and they were more likely comfortable killing compared to their first games.

Seeder explained that striking up a conversation with some of the tributes while they were at the training stations would help them feel more comfortable with Chaff and herself. Informing Emily that she would need to work twice as hard as she had not been around the other victors as much due to ignoring them at capitol events. She lastly explained that Emily would need to really assure the other victors that she could be trusted so that they felt more secure fighting alongside her and that required her to actually speak to the victors rather than slumping into the shadows.

Emily couldn’t help but be dramatic and throw her head back as she sighed causing Seeder to roll her eyes and scold her.

Later that same day after everyone had gone to bed Emily was awakened by a knock on her door. Seeder had walked in and sat on her bed whispering very quietly to her. She explained to Emily that she would need to make sure she got close to Katniss and Peeta and that it was important that they trust her and become allies. Emily agreed but questioned why she specifically wanted her to team up with them but Seeder refused to share any more information, saying more would be explained as the games drew nearer.

She now stood in the elevator next to Chaff as they were being brought down to the training room. She always hated this part, hated having to put on a show for everyone that in a few days would try to kill her and she hated that the people from the Capitol just sat back and watched it all. It made her feel like an animal at a zoo, watched by curious eyes as they whispered to each other and sent curious glances around. She was not entertainment to them, she would not be another name and picture being projected onto the arena sky, she would survive and she would come back to the capitol with twice as much fire.

“You’re thinking a lot,” Chaff said from beside her as the elevator descended. She curiously looked over at him, “I find that sometimes thinking can be our greatest helper but it can also be our biggest enemy. Try not to let it control you.”

Emily nodded, he was right. The more she thought about things the more dangerous her mind became and that meant that she would become riskier with her actions as well. She would be brought down by paranoia and the only thing that would really cause her to lose her mind would be herself. She had to be smart about things, she had to make sure she’d have the right balance of thinking things through but she also needed to make sure she had the bravery to throw caution to the wind if it meant change would be the outcome.

The elevator dinged and Emily turned to Chaff, sighing and saying, “Let the mingling begin”

He gave her a smile and a pat on the back as he entered the room. All the other tributes were already inside, the only two that weren’t there were from district 12 but that made sense as they were usually brought down in the order of their district number so districts 11 and 12 were the last 4 to be brought in.

She followed in after Chaff and looked around at what there was to do. Some of the other tributes looked over at her as she passed by, some with looks of curiosity while others held murderous looks that she chose to ignore. She walked over to the end of the room and looked at Johanna Mason who was currently fighting against one of the trainers.

Emily watched how quickly she moved around her opponent, constantly making them move in order to fight her. Emily felt it was a good way to tire her opponent out. She watched as Johanna tossed the axe at the shield her opponent was wearing which would’ve definitely killed them if it weren’t for their protection.

She was incredibly skilled and anyone would be lying if they said otherwise. Johanna continued on fighting as if there were no other distractions in the world, just her opponent. Her opponent, however, had been stunned by her axe and had faltered in their steps giving Johanna the perfect opportunity to finish the job, she quickly swiped at their feet knocking them to the ground and placing her knee on their chest. She took another axe out and before Emily could blink she brought it down on the armor that covered their chest, right over their heart. She had won. Emily slowly clapped, making sure she was loud enough for Johanna to hear her.

Johanna turned to face her, she was out of breath and drenched in sweat but she smirked when she saw Emily and made her way over to her.

“Well well if it isn’t our mystery victor. Rumor has it everyone’s been trying to figure you out, you're almost as popular as ‘The Girl on Fire,'” she said dramatically and with a roll of her eyes.

Emily let out a small laugh at her comment. Johanna had been one of the few victors she had actually liked when having to meet the others after her victory tour. She had been extremely honest and blunt and Emily found that she valued her honesty. She had wished to keep in contact with her but Emily was self-destructive and had succeeded in creating distance with everyone, Johanna being one of them.

“Glad to know that we still have time to gossip,” Johanna scoffed at Emily’s comment.

“Did you enjoy your break from reality?” Johanna questioned as she retreated her axes, Emily following behind.

“Yes, it was lovely not having to fake my happiness for the cameras.”

Johanna sighed, “Some people just get all the luck in the world.”

Emily smiled but rolled her eyes and looked around when she heard the sound of doors opening. Katniss and Peeta had just been dropped off and both of them looked uneasy at having everyone’s attention on them, sparing them further embarrassment Emily turned back to Johanna.

“I’ll leave you to it then, Seeder will have my head if she finds out I did no training whatsoever.”

Johanna hummed and nodded, “Best to get to it then!” She took her place back on the stage readying herself to face another trainer.

Emily proceeded to look around and found no one was at the knotting station so she made her way over there. She knew she should go and speak to other people and try to gain allies but it was tiring having to speak to people when you knew they’d only care about themselves when it came down to it.

She had spent a while at the station, getting stuck on a particularly difficult knot that had her restarting every couple of minutes. She was slowly starting to get more annoyed and was startled when someone looped their arms around her from behind. She quickly pushed them back and moved away, turning to look at who had snuck up on her.

Finnick stood there laughing only making her glare harden and she willed herself to stop her shaky hands. He stopped once he noticed the effect her had on her and spoke.

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry,” Emily didn’t reply, she only continued to look at him. He took the silence as an opportunity to keep talking.

“Here let me show you the best knot to know in the arena,” she still continued to only stare at him, and this only made him laugh again, “Don’t look at me, look at the knot,” he said amusingly.

She raised an eyebrow but followed his directions and turned her eyes to his hands where he was currently tying the rope in various different loops. She watched him work and was fascinated by how quickly his fingers were able to move and weave through the rope. As he worked he mumbled a few words about the technique and told her to pay attention more to certain parts that he felt she would find difficult. In no time at all, he was finished with his tying and had put the loop of the rope over his head and around his neck.

He had created a noose. As he tightened the noose around his neck he made a small choking noise and then looked over at her to see if she was still paying attention before playing dead and letting his head slump.

The ends of her mouth slightly turned up and if he wasn’t looking directly at her he would’ve missed the small action but her face quickly resumed her usual serious look, “Funny,” she said.

He looked at her and grabbed the other end of the rope, presenting it to her, “Do you want to take me for a walk?”

A smile threatened to reveal itself but she refrained and instead, rolled her eyes and shook her head no. She was definitely amused by his behavior but her thoughts would always come back to her brother whenever she had started to feel that maybe Finnick wasn’t so bad and it would instantly rack her up with guilt.

She was sure by the look on his face that he probably had no idea who she really was other than for her title of being a victor and it drained the amusement she had just felt. Her lips slowly started tugging down on her face forming a frown, she looked at him wondering if it was that easy for others to forget about her too, because if someone that had stared at her tear-stained face couldn’t even place her then she was sure others wouldn’t either.

Her attention from Finnick wavered when she saw a crowd form around one of the stations. Her curiosity caught the better of her and she left Finnick where he sat as she made her way over to where the other Tributes stood.

Once there she realized why they had all been transfixed on what was happening inside. Katniss Everdeen was putting on a show. She was hitting all her shots with deadly accuracy and she moved with experience. She was very quick with the bow and she had amazing skill when it came to archery.

She moved swiftly out of the way of the projections that came too close and made quick work of them with her arrows. If it wasn’t something that would soon be turned against Emily she would even think it was beautiful to watch.

Katniss had finished the training, and by the time she had all the other tributes had lined up outside to watch. Wiress had started clapping as soon as she finished clearly excited by what she had seen and Emily couldn’t help the smirk that adorned her face at how proud she felt of Katniss for being able to give just as much as the other victors.

She gave Katniss an approving nod and she could see the end of her lips turn up in a subtle smile. After the small interaction, Emily turned around and went to look for other stations to try. It would be a long few days of trying to gain allies and she needed to at least try and reconnect with the others if she wanted Seeder's plan to work.

The rest of the day was spent with her going to different stations and talking to more of the tributes before she met with Chaff again and they were taken back to their rooms for the night.

Chapter Text

Finnick was very confused with Emily Greene. There were moments where she completely blended into the background and moments where she looked like she had always belonged. He couldn’t compare her to anyone else he knew because she never really showed who she truly was.

He had at first envied her, had envied the way she had escaped the Capitol and evaded Snow when he was not so lucky. He expected her to be cold and completely lacking when it came to socializing but he found that she constantly surprised him. His eyes would seek her out when training, curiosity getting the better of him and he’d see the way she’d talk to others, the way she so easily kept up with them. She knew exactly what she had to say and Finnick couldn’t decipher if she was genuine or if it was all part of a greater plan.

When he saw her the first day when the tributes would be reintroduced back into the Capitol he had been suspicious of her, especially when she had approached Mags but as he got closer he had seen the way she was speaking to Mags softly, and like a normal person would. Most people always treated Mags very delicately, as if she would break at any moment and Finnick had to admit he had been guilty of that until Mags had shown her dislike for being treated in such a way.

He noticed that even though Mags sometimes had trouble being able to verbalize what she thought, Emily continued on the conversation as if nothing was different but he was thrown into another loop when he saw how quickly her kind smile had disappeared once it had landed on him. He had felt a horrible feeling from the way she looked at him as if she was condemning him for something and he couldn’t understand where that look had come from. He had tried to be playful with her but she had quickly brushed him off.

After they had come back from their welcome parade he had followed after her hoping to get some answers on her behavior but he had only been confused further.

She amused him, he never knew what to expect from her, she didn’t fall victim to his charm and instead of leaving her speechless, she had done that to him. He was genuinely enjoying trying to figure her out, she was like a puzzle for him and he was determined to put all the pieces in the right place. However, the more he had been around her the more it became apparent that she had a certain dislike for him.

When they had first come to train he had watched her struggle with tying knots and eventually made his way over to her. He was surprised when he had succeeded in making her almost smile and he felt an odd sense of accomplishment as if he had just done something great. But then her expression changed the longer she looked at him and he didn’t quite like the way that look was directed at him.

She had gone from being amused by him to looking devastated, looking at him with accusing eyes. She was always so serious around everyone, only going as far as showing people small smiles and he wondered what had caused her to feel like she needed to pull back, her secrecy making him only more curious. He had known looks like the one she was sending him before, he had seen them from people who disliked him and were disgusted by him for killing others while in the games but he didn’t understand her reason for feeling that way. She had been in the games as well, she had also killed and spilled blood, and she was not innocent herself.

It kept his mind preoccupied when he was laying in his bed late at night, and he wondered when his thoughts had become centered around Emily Greene. He knew he had to focus more on the games, Emily was just another person in the arena and he couldn't risk getting distracted. He guessed it had to do with him always being curious about what other people hid that drew him to her.

He was constantly hoping to get a glimpse into the real her, waiting for her to expose her secrets. However that would have to wait, they had bigger things to worry about now. They had been informed by other mentors that a bigger plan would be in motion, a plan to overthrow Snow and Finnick knew this would take a lot of his focus. He was not willing to let this plan go up in smoke, he would try his best to make sure things went as they were supposed to. He knew many of the other tributes were in on this and he wouldn’t have to shoulder it all alone, they all wanted change and they knew Katniss Everdeen was the key to that.

---------

Emily stood in the training center beside Katniss and Mags as Mags taught them how to make a fishing line out of multiple different items. Emily was in shock at how much Mags knew and was constantly bombarding her with questions. She was sad when her fishing line had looked the worst out of the three and Katniss had offered to try something she’s good at instead.

She had at first been surprised at Katniss joining them but after a while, they had fallen into a comfortable routine and Emily found she didn’t mind Katniss. All the acting Katniss did in front of the Capitol would slip off her face when speaking to Mags and Emily knew that the hard exterior she often put on was a product of the games.

Emily agreed to go to a different station and they made their way over to the room Katniss had used the day prior. Emily asked if either one of them wanted to join, but they both shook their heads no.

“You should go first so we can see how it’s supposed to be done” Emily nodded, she knew Katniss had her go alone so she could see where her talents lay.

She grabbed the knife belt from the weapons rack that held 10 knives varying in size, two swords which she strapped to her back in a criss-cross position, and another two daggers which she strapped to her thighs. She stepped into the room and chose her settings before walking to the platform in the middle of the room.

The room went dark and she closed her eyes slowly breathing in and out, paying attention to the sounds of the room and the breathing of her body before she heard it. Someone was running and getting closer to her, she took in one last deep breath before her eyes snapped open and she retracted a knife flinging it through the air and hitting the projection straight in the throat. After that more and more of the targets had come out, she was quick to move out of the way when one of them threw a spear at her, whizzing past her face before she took out a knife and flung it into their heart. She had to quickly turn around when she heard someone coming from behind her and she spun out of the way as the projection sliced through the air with their sword at the space she had just occupied. Emily wasted no time in ducking down as the projection swung again, she took one of her knives in her hand and stabbed and dragged it across the figure's stomach.

She had taken down every one of the figures that had come to her, using up all her knives and when those were gone she used her swords. By the time she was finished with the exercise she was panting and sweating and she heard clapping yet again only to turn and see that the tributes had once again gathered outside the room to this time watch her. Wiress was the only one clapping again while Mags smiled and Katniss stood with a raised eyebrow. Even Johanna looked impressed and she caught a glimpse of Finnick smirking in the back of the group. As she walked out of the room the group started to disperse until only Mags, Katniss, Peeta, and Finnick were left.

“You learned all that in district 11?” Peeta questioned, clearly impressed.

Emily started smiling before she stopped herself, “uh no, I was in charge of cutting off any bad parts of the fruits and vegetables we grew so it was really easy for me to handle a knife. Seeder, my mentor at the time, had me trained to fight with knives and I was a natural at it,” she finished explaining.

Emily wasn’t entirely truthful, yes her job back in the districts did have her using knives more often but she had also learned how to defend herself after her brother's games. Her father would often teach her techniques; she had kept those skills hidden due to fear that the peacekeepers would arrest her for any training.

Thinking of her father was always a sore spot for her, she missed him greatly but his death only reminded her of how cruel President Snow could be if you refused his propositions. He had been foolish though and Emily was determined to let him know that he had messed up in taking the last thing she cared about, now he had nothing to control her with. She could be more dangerous than Katniss had she been in a different state of mind.

“Well look at that. Some secrets revealed,” Finnick commented, quickly souring Emily’s mood.

Mags made her way over to him and scolded Finnick as she dragged him away but not before he sent a wink to Emily. She rolled her eyes at him and went back to paying attention to Katniss and Peeta. She told them both how impressed she was with their own skills and the three-spoke to each other for a little while longer as they went to another station and practiced making shelters from wood, leaves, and vines.

She learned that Peeta worked in a bakery and that’s how he had known how to camouflage himself so well back in their games, Katniss, on the other hand, was quieter and didn’t like to speak much about her past, choosing to stay quiet while listening instead of contributing to the conversation. The more she spoke to them the more she saw how brave they were.

She had at first felt it was ridiculous to continue their obviously fake relationship but she also understood that some things needed to be done in order to survive and that relationship might just save them. Emily thought about how they had gone against kids their age who had more experience and had come out on top and now they faced the same games again but with deadlier circumstances and yet they still held themselves together. Emily was pushed even more to fight for these kids, they were by far the youngest in the arena and she knew that was done on purpose, even if they didn't acknowledge it everyone knew things had changed since their victory.

Seeder had explained more to Chaff and herself what would be happening in these games and they had both readily agreed. They knew that this was not a life anyone should be condemned to simply because of where they were born. Capitol citizens were not worth more just because of their birthplace and Emily felt like they needed that reminder. At the end of the day, humans were all the same, they’d all do what they needed to if forced into those circumstances and it was unfair that the districts were then judged for the events that took place in the arenas the Capitol built. They were not savages or natural-born killers, they were scared children who just wanted to survive another day, they were the product of a fucked up society that had labeled them far before they had even been born.

Emily knew she would try her best to protect Katniss and Peeta and she hoped the other tributes would also unite to fight against their true enemy, President Snow.

-------

Emily had been put into a tight brown dress. The top was a corset with sparkles on it that made it look like a mix between sand and sugar. It was cut off at the waist and the rest of the dress was made of a silky material that went all the way down to the floor and made the dark brown color of the dress shine whenever it caught the light correctly. Her hair had been left down and curled and she had a crown made of dry wheat placed onto her head. Her earrings were gold and were shaped to look like droplets of rain. She wore emerald green heels and her makeup consisted of a bronze golden eyeshadow with golden lashes and brown lipstick.

She felt like a giant heap of dirt. She never knew why Everly always went for brown as her signature color for styling the district eleven tributes. They always looked exactly the same every year despite being different people and honestly it was boring. Emily usually liked the simplicity of the outfits but she wouldn’t mind a different color palette every now and then. She had thought with the difference in her outfit at the welcoming ceremony that Everly would be more open to color that year but she had quickly been proven wrong.

She stood waiting at the back of the stage for her turn to be called up, districts 1-8 had already been called and her patience was starting to wear thin as her anxiety clawed its way into her mind. She had tried distracting herself by listening to what the other tributes said but had to keep herself from constantly rolling her eyes at how dramatic some of them were acting.

It was clear to any of the tributes that they were doing anything to try and stop the games. She had stopped listening after she watched Finnick’s interview and couldn’t stop the scowl on her face when she thought of how ignorant the Capitol citizens were. The interviews weren’t necessarily long but when all she could feel were her nerves everything felt as if time was barely moving.

“You look like you could use a drink,” She turned to look over at the owner of the voice and found Haymitch standing right next to her looking at her with his piercing gray eyes.

She sighed, “I could use a lot more than just that.”

He laughed taking a sip out of his flask which she could already tell held some sort of liquor. He caught her staring and held the bottle out for her, offering some of the alcohol. Emily stared at it for a few seconds before remembering that sometimes overthinking things was not good and without a second thought she took the flask and threw her head back as she chugged a huge amount of the burning liquor. She scrunched her face up and a small cough left her mouth as the burning sensation of the liquor traveled down her throat. Haymitch took back the flask and laughed as he patted her on her back.

“God Haymitch, are you drinking poison??” She questioned jokingly but as the aftertaste hit her she seriously started to question if maybe he was mad enough to do that.

He chuckled before taking another swig of his drink, “The Capitol did always make it better.”

She scoffed and he continued, “Don’t get too worked up darling, you can’t be going into the games with a head full of worries, your one objective is to stay alive.”

She stared at him curiously, “Shouldn’t you save the advice for your own tributes?”

He waved her off, “One thing I've come to learn is that they never listen to me.”

She turned to look at him better, “Well Abernathy, maybe if you laid off the drinking they might take you a bit more seriously?”

He turned and glared at her as she smirked at his reaction. She took the flask once again and took another sip, slowly savoring the taste as it traveled around her mouth and down her throat. She shrugged, “You are right about the alcohol though.”

He rolled his eyes and snatched the flask back, “You’ve become a cheeky little thing since I last saw you.”

She hummed in thought not exactly knowing what to say, had she changed? She certainly didn't feel any different but with the way, everyone always looked at her like they couldn't quite figure her out she assumed she wasn't what they expected. Seeder and Everly came up to her telling her she’d be up in one minute and started to push her towards the stage. Before she was fully dragged away she turned back to Haymitch, “Thanks for the pep talk.”

He raised his flask at her and replied, “Knock them dead sunshine,” and sent her a wink which only caused her to roll her eyes.

By the time she got to her place near the curtains she only had a few seconds to be prepped before she was pushed onto the stage.

“And here she is!! Our mystery girl, who has been holding out on us!” Caesar finished with a laugh towards the audience which they followed.

Emily quickly went into her act and smiled at the crowd and kissed Caesar on the cheek in greeting before answering, “Oh come on Caesar you know I could never hold out on you,” she winked at him. Sure she wasn't around the Capitol as much but when she was she'd always be forced to speak to the Capitol citizens at parties and she picked up on what easily swayed them.

He laughed, “Oh I love her! Just fantastic.”

He addressed her again, “Now how have you been since the last time we saw you? The people want to know!” The crowd cheered after his question showing their agreement with his statement.

“Caesar please, I can’t go spilling all my secrets then I’d have nothing left to surprise you all with,” she said letting out a small laugh.

“Always the secretive one she is! It’s okay dear there’s more to ask,” Emily’s nerves were starting to settle in again as she thought about what other information he would try to pry out of her.

“Now a few years ago you stood on this stage going into your very first Hunger Games,” he paused for dramatic effect, “Now you’re going back in with skilled victors, are you scared at all?”

She took a moment to think of the question, “No,” the crowd started murmuring at her answer.

“No?” Caesar questioned, “And why’s that?”

“I think it would be foolish of me to be afraid of something I've already faced. Yes, the competition is different but the games have always been the same.”

Caesar nodded and spoke again, “Quarter quells are always more exciting, we are sure to be promised an interesting game this year,” he spoke to the crowd as they cheered. It made Emily sick to see their excitement, she would never understand waiting for the games just to watch people kill one another.

Caesar turned back to her, “As we all know you volunteered at the reaping, can you tell us why?”

Emily nodded, acting as if the memory brought her pain, which meant most of her emotions were actually real.

“The Hunger Games take a toll on oneself and I think my fellow victors can understand that and at the reaping, it was most evident.” She looked out to the crowd finding Seeder and locked eyes with her, speaking directly to her now, “Seeder deserved better than that, I think not only her but my fellow district 11 companion as well. If I could’ve saved them both from the arena I would’ve.”

The crowd simultaneously awed and she could even hear some people sniffing, clearly not understanding that her comment came from pain and hatred of the games. Instead, they looked at it as if she just had a big heart and would sacrifice herself for those she cared about.

“A heart of gold,” Caesar commented confirming her thoughts. Emily had to try extremely hard not to roll her eyes and instead dabbed at them to show the crowd she had gotten emotional which only caused more of them to start sobbing. They could be played so easily that it was almost laughable.

“Now, I have one last question before we have to say goodbye to you tonight,” Emily nodded, spurring Caesar on.

“How did it feel having to reunite with the victor that took the life of your brother?”

Chapter Text

Her whole body went rigid, and the smile on her face felt more and more forced the longer she stood there. She slowly tucked her hands behind her back as they started shaking while Caesar continued on staring at her. She took a deep breath, steadying herself before she answered.

“I’m not sure how much there is to say, Caesar,” she forced a laugh out, “I mean this is Finnick Odair we’re talking about he could charm the pants off of anyone.” She finished with another fake smile as the crowd laughed, agreeing.

Caesar laughed, “That boy could do anything and I’m sure we’d all forgive him in a heartbeat!” Her hands tightened behind her back and she forced another laugh out as she nodded along with Caesar “But really? No ill will?” He said turning serious once again.

She took a deep breath before answering, “No of course not, we all do things in the games for the sake of staying alive. Finnick was just trying to win and I applaud his determination.”

“She’s amazing, isn’t she! Look at this support, it’s what the games do.” Emily's face drained of all its color, how exactly did the games do this?

“That’s what the games do?” she questioned letting her confusion show on her face.

He simply smiled not noticing the change in her demeanor, “Yes! They bring the best of us together.”

She clenched her jaw willing herself to maintain calm, she has a job she needs to do and she was going to make sure she completed it.

“Of course they do, the tributes chosen this year are brilliant no doubt,” she made sure to frown as Seeder had told her to do and it worked like a charm as Caesar questioned why her mood changed.

“It’s just sad really, to lose so many brilliant people. We’ve watched each other grow up, and now all we have left to do is say goodbye,” she let tears well up in her eyes and trickle down her cheeks as if the thought hurt her deeply.

The crowd cried out at her statement, many dramatically weeping as they thought about what these games meant. Many shouted out to stop the games at the thought of losing their favorite victors and Caesar had to quickly end the interview to stop the crowd’s displeasure.

Emily made her way to the stairs leading up to where the other tributes stood. She instantly felt better once she was out of the spotlight. She looks up on her way to the rest of the tributes and catches Johanna’s eyes. She looks amused at the little show Emily put on which makes a small smirk make its way onto her face. The amusement only lasts so long for her when her eyes move away from Johanna’s and accidentally land on Finnick who is looking at her in a strangely serious way. She quickly looks away as she gets to the stairs and focuses on getting up the stage instead.

Once she settles in her spot next to Chaff she finally lets her eyes roam over the audience, she lets out a small sigh as she does so. They would never change, never see the error of their ways and the districts would always have to pay for it. She was over it, over acting like the games were okay, and that she was okay with them too because how could anyone ever be okay with being the one who had survived while others mourned their lost ones?

The last two tributes came out and wrapped up their interviews which caused an even bigger reaction with Peeta’s “baby announcement.” She had to admit it was a genius idea, and she could only hope that it would delay or maybe even stop the games. Even as she thought it though she knew it was a silly idea to think President Snow would ever postpone the Hunger Games, he’d make sure they’d happen one way or another.

When Peeta finally joined them on the raised stage she took the hands of the victors standing right next to her, all at once, the tributes raised their hands, showing all of Panem that they were united. This didn’t bode well for the show and seconds later the lights and cameras were cut off submerging them in darkness, the only thing they could hear was the screaming and chattering of the audience. When the lights came back on the victors were escorted off of the stage rather forcibly and pushed backstage.

Emily found Johanna and abruptly pulled her towards herself in a tight hug. Johanna stilled at the gesture but eventually wrapped her own hands around Emily who whispered “I’m proud of you,” to her.

“At least someone is,” she whispered back as they pulled apart and a sad smile appeared on her face.

Johanna had been the only tribute who confidently went against the games in her interview, cursing out at the people who had anything to do with the games and Emily wasn’t able to stop herself from grinning from ear to ear as she caught sight of her interview from one of the televisions.

She was sure that President Snow had not liked her little outburst but what more could he do to punish her? She was already in the Hunger Games and nothing he could do could hurt her anymore. She and Johanna were alike in that way, neither of them had families and neither of them cared much about the Capitol and what it could do. President Snow had made the mistake of making them untouchable, unconcerned, and unfazed by his threats. He knew they were dangerous and even more so now that Katniss was causing riots in the districts, it was why he wanted them eliminated, just like the other victors. If only he knew that in bringing them all together he would cause his own downfall, how she wished she could see his face the minute he realized that he had been played and used as a pawn in his own game.

Emily bid Johanna goodbye and she and Blight made their way back to their rooms with their mentor. Emily weaved her way through the victors looking for Seeder and Chaff when she was abruptly stopped by a hand holding her wrist.

She looked back and was met with Finnick’s face, he looked conflicted, it was the first time she had ever seen that look on him and she already knew what he was here to do. Pulling her wrist out of his grasp, she took a few steps back and shook her head no at him to tell him she didn’t want to talk. She continued to back up until she eventually just turned around and continued her search for Seeder and Chaff but when she couldn’t find them she gave up her search and decided to go back to their quarters on her own.

She makes her way out of the building and waits for the peacekeepers to join her to escort her back to the tribute center. She’s put into a car but before it leaves another passenger joins her.

She can’t help but sigh and roll her eyes at Finnick for seeking her out after she had evidently not wanted to talk. She avoids his eyes the entire way back instead choosing to focus on the floor of the car. Once they get back to their building the Peacekeepers escort them to the doors before letting them go the rest of the way alone. Emily walks in silence as she makes her way to the elevator, they don’t speak as they wait and once they get into the elevator she hopes that he might just end up never talking again but of course, that’s not what happens.

“Greene,” Emily sighs, really not wanting to have this conversation right now.

“It’s fine, I never expected anything from you,” she cuts in before he can continue.

He turns to stare at her, “Can you look at me?” She ignores him, and he decides to walk in front of her but she refuses to look up at his face and instead stares at his chest. His shirt is white and hangs low on his chest, he’s wearing his shark tooth necklace and her mind wonders not for the first time if she would ever be able to see the sea or if the only glimpse of it she’ll ever get is in the eyes of the man in front of her.

“Emily please,” He whispers, and she’s snapped back to the present.

She looks up then, surprised at the gentleness of his voice and the way he used her first name. What surprises her most is the way she likes how it sounds coming from him but she quickly shakes those thoughts from her head.

“Listen Odair, I don’t judge you for your actions in the games. We all had to do things in order to survive.”

He sighs, “The games have a way of justifying even our worst actions.” She nods completely agreeing with him. It's almost laughable that the victors are applauded for killing others, it makes her feel sick.

“I just wanted to say I'm sorry and before you try to brush this off just know that I do remember your brother. I could never forget what happened in those games. I blocked everything else out afterward it was just easier that way. It was why I wasn't able to make the connection between you and him.”

She stares at him for a long time before she answers, taking in the way his brows are scrunched in worry and the way his eyes show genuine pain. She decides she doesn’t like that look on him and speaks before he can worry his mind more.

“It’s okay, I’ve learned to heal from that loss. Thank you for apologizing to me directly.” She tells him quietly but with the silence of the room, he can clearly hear her. He then unexpectedly sticks his hand out in front of her and she questioningly looks at it.

“Oh come on, I don’t bite. At least not unless you ask,” he winks but she stares unamusedly at him. She hesitantly raises her own hand and places it in his, it’s weird touching him. His fingers feel cold and she wonders if he’s used to that because he spends most of his time in the water in his district. She finds however that it’s not an uncomfortable feeling.

He starts moving their hands up and down in a handshake and then with a smile exclaims, “Great! Now we’re getting somewhere.”

The elevator dings signaling that they’ve arrived at his floor. He lets go of her hand and backs out of the elevator while still looking at her. Emily stares at him with her head tilted to the side utterly confused at his antics. All Finnick does is smile back and wave at her as the door starts to close, she subconsciously raises her hand to wave back as she stares at him in confusion and the last thing she hears from him is his laugh before the elevator is moving again.

Emily could never understand Finnick and she figures it's too late to get to know him at all. They only have the night to go and then they'll be thrust into the games, that is if Katniss’ and Peeta’s baby announcement doesn’t stop them from happening. Whatever confusion she has about Finnick is pushed to the back of her mind as she thinks about her last possible few hours of safety before the next day.

-----

It's safe to say that Emily was unable to rest at all the night before, the baby announcement had been a failure and in just a few hours she would be heading back into the arena. She couldn’t help but think of what would happen while in the arena. She only had information from Seeder that Katniss needed to make it out alive. There would be a rescue mission for the remaining tributes, and a sponsor's gift would arrive informing them of the time the whole rescue would happen, they just didn’t know what it would be and how long it would be until they got the hint. Their only hope was to remain close together in hopes that they could overpower anyone who tried to harm Katniss.

The time soon came for Emily and Chaff to get ready in their rooms before a hovercraft would come and take them to the arena. Everly showed her this year’s outfit which she noticed was a one-piece suit that was very thin and breathable. It had knee pads on it and the sleeves could be detached if needed.

“Now based on the outfit you can expect it to be warmer in there, I’ll do your hair in those french braids again so it’ll stay out of your face.”

This was definitely different from her own games. When she had been dressed for her games a thick coat was placed on top of her already warm clothes, she felt it was unnecessary to have so many layers but once she was pushed up into the arena she understood why. The whole place was covered in snow and being from District 11 it was completely new territory for Emily. Realistically she should not have survived, but she did and if she could survive the cold mountains then she was sure she could survive whatever other climate they threw at her.

Emily nodded “Thank you,” she said in a soft voice. Everly looked at her through the reflection of the mirror that stood in front of them and she gave her a sad smile before she continued.

Once finished she was met by Chaff and Trinity in the main living area. Trinity instantly came and hugged her.

She looked back and forth from Chaff before laying her hand on their shoulders. “You have both been so brave,” she started as tears welled up in her eyes “It has been an honor being able to call you my victors and I am truly sorry for this. I wish it could’ve been different,” Her voice was strained as tears started to fall from her eyes, and Emily couldn’t help but reach back out to her for another hug.

“Thank you,” she whispered, feeling her heart grow heavy at the emotion she was showing. Trinity pulled away and turned to Chaff who hugged her back with words of thanks. They both were guided out of the room by Everly and Chaff’s stylist saying their last goodbyes to Trinity.

Once they got to the hovercraft they had their trackers inserted and Emily certainly didn’t miss the feeling of the needle pricking her. As the hovercraft took off Emily looked around at those who sat next to her, this would be some of the last moments she would be safe. Once inside the arena anyone could easily turn on you and the longer she looked at the people around her the more she felt that she always took her freedom for granted. She wished she could’ve seen the beautiful fields of district 11 once more, she missed the sweet smells of the earth as it grew the food. As they flew through the air she tried to remember everything about her home. It calmed her down as she thought of the people singing away as they picked the food and she knew she had to make them proud.

She took deep breaths as the hovercraft descended and reminded herself that this would all be for something bigger. At the end of these games, it didn’t matter if she lived or not because as long as Katniss was alive there would be hope. With newfound determination, she exited the hovercraft and followed behind Everly as they made their way underground. At one point she and Chaff had to go their separate ways and she hugged him and tried to put all her gratitude into the action so he knew she felt thankful for him and his kindness.

“Stay safe Emily, if anything should happen I hope you know that Seeder and I are proud of you.”

Tears stung her eyes as she whispered back, “Thank you. I am so grateful to have known you both. Maybe if we're lucky we'll see each other at the end of this.” He nodded with a proud smile on his face as he pulled her back in for another brief hug before they had to go their separate ways.

As she followed Everly to a door that had her name on it they both entered and Everly worked on finishing touches before Emily had to go into the tube. At one point she had stopped fixing her hair and placed both of her hands on her shoulders

“Remember Emily, we're all cheering for you,” Everly said trying to smile but failing at it.

“Thank you, Everly, for everything. You always did have the best fashion opinions,” Everly let out a watery laugh and then pulled her into a bone-crushing hug.

“It was an honor my darling,” they pulled away when only ten seconds remained until she would have to ascend into the arena. Emily stepped into the tube and turned around and placed her hand on the glass that now encased her while Everly did the same thing on the outside.

The Tube started moving up and Emily glanced at Everly once more before she disappeared and she was suddenly blinded by the light that was shining upon her. She had to cover her eyes to shield herself from the burning sun that left her temporarily blind. Once the platform had fully stopped she looked around and saw that the platforms they were standing on were in the water. The cornucopia stood on an island in the center and they were surrounded by a Jungle on the shore.

A voice loudly boomed over them, “Let the 75th Hunger Games begin. May the odds be ever in your favor.”

10, 9

Emily looked around trying to spot any familiar faces.

8, 7

Chaff stood 4 tributes down to her left. Johanna was on her right.

6, 5

Cecelia, another ally, is on her left. They nod to each other.

4, 3

Everything revolves around the plan now she just needs to swim fast and run even faster.

2, 1

She positioned herself, took a deep breath, and then she was plunging into the cold water. The 75th Hunger games had begun.

Chapter Text

The water was incredibly cold and it made her mind instantly wake up, the only thing she could think of was propelling herself fast enough to get to the small piece of land that was connected to the cornucopia. She had done a lot of labor with her arms back in district 11 and she was thankful for that as it had strengthened her arms. In a matter of a few seconds, she was on the piece of land that stretched out from the cornucopia and hauling herself up. She spent no time looking around before she sprinted forward to the center of the island. She could see a sword and a pair of daggers hanging on a rack and she was determined to get to them. The faster she moved the less she heard any footsteps around her and in no time she was at the cornucopia.

She quickly grabbed the sword and daggers and held one in her hand ready to strike when she heard someone come behind her only to turn and see it was Beetee, he put his hands up but upon seeing who it was stopped and went to look for what he was there for but he didn’t get far before a scream rippled through him and he went tumbling to the ground. Quickly Emily sent her dagger flying right where Beetee had stood, it collided with the male tribute from 9, hitting him directly in the neck. He gasped a few seconds before falling over and going still, a cannon went off, he was dead.

Emily wasted no time in grabbing the dagger back and followed Beetee out who was slowly walking off of the island with a roll of wire in his hand, he had already taken the knife out of his back. Before she was fully off the island her attention was caught by a gleaming axe that had fallen off its rack and Emily picked it up and ran after Beetee knowing that staying together would keep them alive longer.

Once on the shore, Emily tried to pull Beetee into the jungle but he refused to follow her saying they had to wait for Wiress. Emily impatiently huffed but she knew that Beetee would never leave Wiress and therefore they waited for another minute that felt way too long before a group came stumbling onto the shore. They were met with Blight and Johanna who was dragging Wiress behind her as fast as she could, the older woman barely able to hold herself up with how fast she was being pulled. Blight had gotten a machete but the other two tributes had no weapons of any kind. Remembering what she picked up Emily handed Johanna the axe as they came closer to them and she instantly looked a lot more comfortable having something to protect herself with. Beetee handed Wiress the knife that had stabbed him in the back and she took it with shaky hands.

Once gathered they ran into the jungle with Blight taking the lead and Emily and Johanna taking the rear, none of them spoke as they ran through the jungle, their only goal was getting as far as they could from the cornucopia where the careers were now gathered. Once deep enough they all took a break and sat down, the heat of the jungle feeling extremely suffocating. Eventually, their breathing settled a little bit and Emily turned to Johanna.

“Cecelia?” She questioned, asking if she was alive. Johanna solemnly shook her head no.

Emily sighed and turned her head down, Cecelia had always been a kind woman, she had moved on with her life after the games and even had a family and now Emily couldn’t help but think of how she would never return home to them.

Emily turned to look at Beetee trying to focus on something else, “How’s the wound?”

“Nothing deadly, thankfully. I should be fine if I just apply pressure and cover it up,” she nodded at his explanation, happy that it wasn’t anything worse.

After a few moments of Wiress patching up Beetee, Blight spoke up, he was also from district 7 like Johanna, “We should keep moving, it's probably not safe to stay in one spot for too long.”

They nodded and Beetee spoke, “Yes that would be safest, we can rest at night, the darkness will be our cover.”

It had started slowly as they were walking. Wiress would start muttering nonsense that even Beetee couldn’t understand, when the others turned to them in concern he explained that she was in shock from seeing people die which was reasonable so they left Beetee to look after her as he was the most comfortable with her. However, after a while, Johanna had grown tired of listening to her and started speaking to Emily in hopes that it would drown out Wiress’ voice.

“Do you know if Chaff is still alive?” she questioned Emily.

“No, I lost sight of him after I started running towards the cornucopia,” Emily cast her eyes down, annoyed that she had not even made an effort to go find him but she also couldn’t have left Beetee alone, and practically defenseless.

“Do you think we would be able to find him?” Emily asked. Johanna looked down not sure what to say, they had no idea how huge the arena could be and he was just one man. Their only hope to see him again would be the day of the rescue. She looked to Emily who was keeping her eyes trained on their surroundings as if she would magically find him among the trees.

“I don’t know, we can only hope for the best,” was the only consolation she could offer the other girl. Emily just nodded and she hoped wherever Chaff was he was safe.

-----

Night had settled quickly around them and it was too dark for them to continue moving without accidentally tripping on the roots of the trees so they set up camp for the night with Emily offering to take the first watch. The others nodded and moved to find a comfortable place to rest, Beetee was stroking Wiress’ hair to calm her down and lull her into sleep. Eventually, her murmuring stops, and Beetee also falls asleep, Blight has already found himself in a comfortable position and snores away. Before Johnna goes to try and get some rest she informs Emily to wake her up when she starts to get too tired, Emily nods and soon she's the only one awake. Emily is honestly surprised they all trust her so much to put their guard down, in an odd way it makes her feel proud.

Another hour passes before the sound of music starts and the fallen tributes are projected onto the screen, Emily is relieved to not see Chaff’s picture on there and lets herself breathe a little bit easier. The noise, however, awakens the others and Beetee spends another hour trying to calm down Wiress which greatly annoys Johanna who eventually starts threatening Wiress if she doesn’t quiet down.

“Johanna,” Emily warns, raising a brow to which Johanna simply sends her a glare before she quiets down and tries to let sleep overcome her again. She knows Johanna has a temper but it seems to have risen more ever since they got into the arena. Emily can’t blame her though, the stress of trying to stay alive and then also trying to save Katniss has been a huge burden on all of them. They know that if they don’t succeed they’ll be dying in this arena and it’s not a pleasant thought to any of them.

Now that she thinks of it Emily doesn't really know what comes next. Seeder just told her to trust her allies and protect Katniss, the rescue wasn't really spoken much about. She had tried to get more information out of Seeder on the details but she wouldn't budge and Emily couldn't waste all her time trying to find out Seeder's secrets when the games were coming closer.

As Emily lets her thoughts wander everything slowly goes quiet again as the others fall back into their sleep but then another sound like a bell goes off throughout the arena which thankfully doesn’t awaken Wiress this time around. After the sounds of the bells, everything falls quiet once again. Another two hours pass and Emily swears she can hear screaming in the distance from other tributes but it’s far enough away that she doesn’t bother waking the others. Eventually, the sleepiness gets to her and she awakens Johanna to take her shift, once she settles in a comfortable spot she lets sleep take over her. The sleep is in no way comfortable and she wakes up a few hours later with horrible back pain.

It seems she’s the last to wake from the group as they sit by chatting with their district partners. She sits up and stretches feeling extremely tired despite sleeping and her thirst has gotten worse.

“Finally up sleepy head?” Johanna calls out to her which only causes Emily to roll her eyes.

“We should try to find water,” It hurts her to talk with how dry her throat is, and the more she thinks of it the more she feels her mouth go dry.

“Realistically our bodies can survive a few more days without water but it’s best that we don’t let ourselves get to that state,” Beetee announces. They all start grabbing their things and they leave their spot as the sun starts to rise further into the sky. They walk for hours with no sign of water anywhere. She can see the exhaustion pulling on the others, it even stops Wiress from speaking so much.

“Wait stop,” everyone turns to Blight at his sudden command and they all immediately do as he says. Everyone is put on edge, putting their weapons up as if they’re waiting to run into other tributes when Blight speaks again, “I think it’s starting to rain.”

Sure enough, when they stay quiet they can hear the sound of rain hitting their surroundings.

Wiress starts laughing and clapping, sticking her hands out as the rain starts to come down faster.

Emily’s excitement however is short-lived when she sees the color of the rain that has fallen on her skin. She swipes at the liquid before carefully bringing it to her mouth and tasting the substance. She recognizes the taste as it's so distinct. She could never get the memory of it out of her head when she had killed another tribute in her games and their blood had splattered into her mouth. She had never felt so disgusted with herself and she could never forget how it tasted nor how it smelled.

She instantly spits it out and shouts at the others, “It's blood!! It’s not water!” The smiles on their faces drop all except for Wiress who hasn’t been paying attention to the others, too caught up in her own world. As the others look down at their hands their faces drain of all color and the stench of the blood starts to surround them the longer they stand there.

Suddenly Wiress is screaming, finally noticing the blood on her and she clings to Beetee, this snaps everyone out of their shocked states and Blight quickly starts sending out orders.

“Johanna, Emily you two take the back, and I’ll take the front again. We have to get out of here or we’ll choke on this stuff,” they both nod and they begin pushing Wiress and Beetee in front of them as they run through the jungle with Blight leading them in the direction of what they hope is out of the blood rain.

They’re all so blinded by the rain that has started to pour heavily on them that Blight is unable to realize that they’ve gotten extremely close to the edge of the dome and only when his machete comes down again and swipes at it are they all aware. His body is sent flying back as the wall momentarily disappears to show the black screen under it before going back to its original image of trees.

“BLIGHT!” Johanna screams as she rushes to him, the rest quickly following behind her.

“No no no come on, no,” Johanna says as she shakes him. His body is unresponsive and his hair is sticking up and even burnt in some places.

Emily tries to feel for a pulse but when she reaches his neck there is no movement, she tries again at his wrist and feels nothing again. Emily even goes as far as laying her head against his chest but finds that his heart is no longer beating, the cannon goes off and they know he’s gone.

“Dammit!” Johanna screams as she bends her head against his chest and clutches at his suit. Emily lifts her hand and closes his eyes and after another moment of silence Johanna gets up as if nothing has happened. The survival part in her is most likely screaming at her that they don't have time to mourn.

“We have to go, the rain is coming down faster. It’ll suffocate us.”

Beetee nods, adding, “If this is the end it means the beach will be in the exact opposite way, we can go there for fresh air.” Johanna nods and with one final glance at Blight she leads the group while Emily stays in the back, they all start moving faster as the rain pelts them. At this point, they’re all covered in blood and she can only see red as she looks around. It’s everywhere, it sticks onto the trees and the leaves, making the jungle look unnatural and eerie. As they run, Wiress suddenly stops, almost sending Emily into her.

She breathlessly says, “TICK TOCK!”

The others stop and look at her confused but she continues to only repeat the same phrase. When Johanna realizes they won’t get anything more from her, they move again. Eventually, they can see the beach and shore again and Emily has never been happier. As they get to the edge, however, Wiress starts to dig her heels in as if afraid of stepping onto the beach.

Johanna has had enough and simply raises her voice to scream at her, “Come on! Come Out!”

Emily steps forward to Johanna putting a hand on her to calm her down as Beetee gently pulls Wiress onto the beach.

“She’s driving me crazy!” Johanna says with a clenched jaw.

“I know I know but we have to, for her,” Emily sends her a meaningful look which causes Johanna to sigh and nod, knowing that this is all for the Mockingjay. As they speak Emily hears footsteps from somewhere around them and she pulls out her sword ready to fight.

“JOHANNA!” They look over at where the scream comes from and Johanna instantly recognizes who is running towards them.

“FINNICK!” Johanna lets out a laugh as he gets nearer. They embrace before his eyes land on Emily’s and she can see worry flash through his eyes as he takes in their appearance.

“What happened?”

Johanna huffs, “Well I got them out. We were all the way deep into the jungle where I thought we would be safe.”

Emily nods her head at Peeta when he gets closer, a greeting which he returns but she can tell he’s concerned by the way they all look. She guesses they must look insane covered in blood.

“That’s when the rain started,” Johanna continued, “I thought It was water, it turned out to be blood. Hot. Thick. Blood.”

Wiress and Katniss join the group while Beetee goes to the water to wash the blood off himself. Wiress hangs onto Johanna saying, “Tick tock, tick tock” repeating her words from earlier despite no one answering.

Johanna nods her head at her but slowly pushes her away with her arm as she explains to them what happened, “It was coming down. It was choking us,” she laughs bitterly, “We were stumbling around gagging on it blind.”

“Tick tock.”

“That’s when Blight hit the force field,” she pauses, closing her eyes, “He wasn’t much but he was from home.”

“Tick tock, tick tock,” Johanna clenches her jaw and rolls her eyes at Wiress, clearly annoyed and Emily can already tell Johanna is getting closer to her limit with Wiress.

“What’s wrong with her?” Katniss asks.

“She’s in shock,” Emily quips and Beetee adds, “Dehydration isn’t helping. Do you have fresh water?” He asks the trio. Peeta tells him they can get some as Johanna tries to walk away from Wiress who stubbornly hangs onto her, Emily following knowing this isn’t going to end well.

“Listen. STOP IT,” she throws Wiress off of her but Emily catches her before she can hit the ground and straightens her up as she now clings to her. Emily sends a glare to Johanna but she’s not the only one who’s angry.

“HEY! GET OFF HER!” Katniss yells, striding up to Johanna and pushing her back.

“Hey what are you doing?” Johanna asks angrily as she tries to fight back before Finnick pulls her back and Peeta takes hold of Katniss.

“I GOT THEM OUT FOR YOU!” Johanna screams.

Wiress stumbles out of Emily’s arms and walks towards Katniss. After seeing the state Wiress is in Katniss composes herself and guides Wiress into the water to help her get cleaned up.

As Emily watched them go her vision slightly blurs and she stumbles a bit before Peeta take hold of her to stabilize her.

“Hey, are you okay?” He asks her softly.

“Yeah yeah,” she says feeling nauseous, “It’s just the smell is horrible and I’m super thirsty. We also haven't had a meal since before the games started.”

“Here sit down,” He says as he slowly sets her down, “I’ll go get you some water okay?” He doesn’t wait for her response before he leaves and Emily wonders how he’s kept his kindness. As Emily looks around at the others she notices something that instantly makes her stomach plummet. Mags is nowhere in sight and she keeps constantly checking the people around her as if she’s going to pop up. Emily locks eyes with Finnick who is making his way back onto the shore after calming Johanna down and he stops at the obvious pain on her face.

She quickly gets up and sways which causes Finnick to sprint to her but by the time he gets there she has found her footing. Finnick looks at the blood caking her face and it scares him to see so much of it on her, he’s so focused on watching her that he almost misses what she says.

“Finnick, where's Mags?” She whispers so quietly that the wind sweeps the words away as soon as they’re spoken. He looks right into her eyes and from the look on his face Emily realizes what it means, the tears gather in her eyes and make their way down her cheeks, she starts to shake but doesn’t seem to notice. She can only think of the sweet woman who had continuously shown her kindness, how Emily had instantly felt safe with her, and now she was gone. Finnick took her into his arms not caring about the strong scent of blood coming off of her but just needing to comfort the crying girl in front of him.

Yes, Emily Greene had always been a mystery to him but he didn’t like to find out bits of her through her pain. At the moment she was truly seen by him but all he saw was a broken girl and he for once wished to not divulge in someone else’s secrets.

Emily didn’t know what to think, her mind was reeling at everything that had just happened. She was aware that someone was holding her but she couldn’t register who. Then the ocean was in front of her, the green and blues mixed together in such a calming way that she was sure she could drown in it. The more she focused on it the more her senses came back to her, the sound of the others in the background and the situation they were all in and she realized she wasn’t staring at the ocean at all but at Finnick’s eyes. She blinked and slowly registered she was still in his arms, abruptly as if she was burned by his touch she jerked out of his arms and stumbled back. He came forward again as if to steady her but when he saw the look on her face he faltered and awkwardly let his hands fall down to his sides.

She didn't need his comfort and she certainly didn't want it. It didn't matter to her that he had finally acknowledged her brother, it always felt wrong. Every time she would look at Finnick she was reminded that those hands were the same ones that killed Joshua and it filled her body with guilt to think that she had momentarily found comfort in him. What would her brother think to know that she had let herself become friends with the person that had ended his life?

“Emily,” she quickly turns around with one hand on her dagger but she only finds Peeta holding a coconut shell containing water and she lets herself relax. Her previous thoughts immediately leave her mind when she takes a hold of the shell with shaky hands before bringing it up to her lips. Water had never tasted so good, she was tempted to chug it all but the reasonable part of her mind knew that would just make her sick. Once she's finished she sends a small smile to Peeta.

“Thank you, do you have more? I know the others could use it,” she said, completely ignoring the other person beside her.

“Yeah, yeah of course. I’ll go get more," he said, starting to retreat back into the jungle.

“I’ll come with you,” she replied, starting to step after him before he turned back to look at her.

“Are you sure? You don’t want to get cleaned up first?” Emily looked down at herself, forgetting the blood that coated every part of her body and cringes. Before she can answer him though Finnick chimes in.

“I’ll go. You can stay and get cleaned up,” she turns to look at him and is surprised at how blank his expression suddenly is. She nods and without another look at her, he goes into the jungle, Peeta following behind him.

Emily makes her way back to where the others are and steps into the water. She’s not too close to the others but she can still hear their voices from where she stands most noticeably Wiress’ who continues to say tick-tock.

Emily fully submerges herself under the water and lets the coolness of it calm her down as the blood washes off of her skin and clothes. It is completely silent under the water but it just serves to allow her thoughts to all come rushing back at her and ironically it’s not the water that feels like it's drowning her.

Chapter Text

Finnick stood staring at how Emily immediately changed her demeanor. He was surprised and would’ve been impressed at how quickly she was able to compose herself again if she hadn’t completely looked repulsed by him. It didn’t make him feel any better that she continued to ignore him up until he offered to go with Peeta to find water and even then she had only given him a nod.

There was something about her look that had rattled him, she had been so vulnerable in one second and completely closed off in another and he found that it hurt him how easily she pushed him out. He thought they were getting somewhere since the last time they spoke but he had been mistaken.

Maybe he took the way she had acted as her forgiving him but thinking back he realizes she never actually said she had forgiven his actions only that she was glad he apologized. It had surprised him when he had made the connection between Joshua and Emily and admittedly he was very embarrassed for taking so long to realize it but he had never forgotten the games and certainly not Joshua.

Of course, he remembered Joshua Greene, he had been the youngest in the arena that year with Finnick being the 2nd youngest. They had bonded over that fact and could oftentimes be found together while in the training room.

Joshua had the same wavy brown hair as Emily. He had left it longer because he claimed it made him look older. His eyes, although darker than Emily’s were always so open to everyone, you could see whatever emotion he felt flash through them and he wondered if Emily had once looked like that in her innocence and if she was also that easy to read. It’s hard for him to understand that concept when she switches her character so often, he doesn’t truly know who the real her is when she acts so differently with the people around her. Does she know she puts on an act for each person? Or does she always just want to try and fit in everywhere? One thing for sure is that she doesn't know what act to put on around Finnick.

When he comes back to the shore and offers the water to Beetee he can’t help but let his eyes wander to where Emily stands. She’s washing her hair that she took out of her braids and he can see the blush rising on her cheeks and nose as the cool air collides with the cold water that’s dripping from her face.

His memories go back to his games once again and he remembers how he and Joshua had spoken about their families, back when Finnick’s parents were still alive. Joshua had told him about his dad and sister but when Finnick had questioned him about his mother he grew a lot quieter.

“She was taken from us,” Joshua said solemnly.

Finnick looked at him in surprise, upon seeing his face Joshua explained further.

“They told us she was helping the rebels, that she needed to pay for her crimes,” he looked down at his hands which were shaking slightly as he recounted the events, “We never saw her again. I miss her a lot. She used to tell the best bedtime stories.”

Finnick put an arm around his shoulder which surprised the younger boy, “Hey I bet she’d think you’re really brave right now. She would be proud,” he said, showing the boy a genuine grin.

Joshua laughed, “I hope so.”

Thinking about that conversation makes his mind turn to how both Joshua and Emily had been reaped and suddenly them being chosen didn't seem so random. Them being in the games was just another punishment for the crimes of their mother. The Capitol really was a bitch.

Finnick is snapped back to the present when Johanna comes and takes a seat next to him, the blood fully washed off of her body.

She sighs “I can’t stand her any longer. Constantly repeating herself,” she says talking about Wiress. She rolls her eyes and stabs her axe into the sand beside her. “Honestly I don’t know how the others can just ignore it.”

“That Johanna is called a short temper. Might’ve heard of it?” He says smirking at her and turning his attention to the woman who is currently still being cleaned up by Katniss. For a girl who is so stubborn and moody all the time he finds that Katniss often has moments of kindness, she’s just very particular at who she shows it to.

Johanna scoffs, “Or maybe I'm the only one who understands she’s completely lost her marbles. Honestly, we can’t just play babysitter.”

She has a point but Finnick thinks it’s ironic when they’re practically doing the same thing for Katniss.

His attention switches back to the pair when he hears Katniss exclaim, “It’s a clock! It’s a clock! Wiress you’re a genius! You’re a genius!” And then she’s rushing to the shore with Wiress in toe, who looks ecstatic at Katniss understanding her.

Peeta calls Emily and the group comes together back onshore, everyone looking much cleaner and refreshed.

“Here I’ll explain. Let’s go to the cornucopia, it’ll make more sense if we can see the whole arena clearly.”

They all followed after her with Katniss taking the lead followed by Johanna, Peeta, Wiress, Beetee, Emily, and finally Finnick at the back of the group.

When they reach the cornucopia Katniss is speaking to all of them again, “The entire arena seems to be laid out like a clock, with a new threat every hour but they stay only within their wedge. It all starts with the lightning then the blood rain, fog, monkeys. That’s the first four hours, at ten that big wave hits from over there,” Katniss says pointing to the opposite side of where they stood right now.

“The tail points at twelve,” Peeta adds gesturing to the cornucopia.

“That’s where the lightning strikes at noon and midnight,” Katniss says.

Finnick can hear Emily mumble to herself, “So that’s what those bells were.”

“It strikes where?” Beetee questions Katniss.

“That big tree,” she says, pointing to a tree that rises far above any of the others around it.

Peeta enters further into the cornucopia followed by the others, all except for Wiress who sits on the edge singing a nursery rhyme. For a brief moment, Finnick is reminded of Annie, a victor from his district. She would often sing when she needed a distraction from her bad thoughts but in doing so she would ignore everything else. He missed her greatly and he hoped she was doing okay by herself, it was always easier for her when he was there to bring her back to reality but he also knew she was strong enough to ground herself.

“So twelve to one, lightning. One to two is blood then fog then monkeys” Peeta says drawing a map of the arena and where each threat takes place.

“Ten to eleven the wave, what about everything else? Did you guys see anything?” Katniss asks addressing the new tributes that joined them.

“Nothing but blood,” Emily answers, making her way to stand next to Katniss to see the map better. She seems more focused now as she studies the map and listens to what the others say and Finnick is glad for that. He’s used to her like this, the serious look on her face and the way he can see her brain turning, this is the Emily he’s familiar with. It also means she’ll be able to be more alert which is always needed in the games.

Peeta speaks again, “It doesn’t matter. As long as we stay clear of whichever sector is active we’ll be safe.”

“Yeah relatively speaking,” Finnick adds when they hear Wiress gasp. They all turn in concern and see Gloss has stabbed her in the neck. Katniss wastes no time in pulling out her bow and sending an arrow right to his heart.

Then it all happens at once, Cashmere comes running from one side while Brutus attacks from the other pinning them from both sides.

Finnick is facing Brutus who slashes through the air with no forgiveness. It’s clear he’s here to kill but Finnick will be damned if he dies this far into the games. He fights back just as ruthlessly and is actually winning his fight against Brutus when Enobaria suddenly comes out of nowhere and throws a spear at him, slicing him in the arm and letting Brutus get away. He turns around to the others and sees Peeta getting ready to run after the careers but holds him back with his good arm, unfortunately in holding him back, Katniss runs off after them followed by Emily and Johanna.

------

Everything had happened so quickly, one moment they were talking about the arena, and the next they were fighting off the careers. Emily had run after Katniss when she went after Brutus and Enobaria, no doubt angry that Wiress had been killed in their attack. However as they ran the cornucopia started to spin, letting the careers get away and throwing Katniss, Emily, and Johanna off balance.

Emily started to slip but was able to find a good handle on the rocks, however Katniss who had now landed behind her wasn’t able to hold on. Emily shot a hand out but the force of the spinning was too strong and Katniss wasn’t able to reach her before she slipped further down.

“NO!” Emily screamed but was relieved when she saw Johanna had caught her before she could fall into the water. However, it seemed Johanna had just as much luck as Emily did for a few seconds later Katniss had slipped out of her grip and went crashing into the water.

The game maker had apparently got what he wanted because a few seconds later the cornucopia started to slow down before it came to a full stop. They were all drenched again but Johanna and Emily paid no attention to their states as they ran off in search of Katniss who was luckily alive and already pulling herself out of the water near them. Johanna helped her up the rest of the way onto the ground as Katniss heaved and coughed up water while Emily patted her on the back.

Johanna and Emily stepped away as Peeta came to her side. Johanna gives them a moment before she speaks, “Let’s just get what we need and get off the bloody island.”

Everyone agrees and Emily makes her way past Finnick and falters while looking at Beetee before placing a hand on his shoulder and saying, “I’m sorry, she was a brilliant woman.”

Beetee nods back at her and pats her hand. There’s nothing much they can say on the topic but he’s grateful nonetheless. Emily continues on her way and doesn’t notice the look Johanna and Finnick share during her encounter with Beetee. She searches for any weapons that could be of use and more arrows for Katniss and is happy to find some. However, it seems that her luck only goes that far as the rest of the weapons have either been taken by the careers or the other tributes.

They all make their way back to shore and when they get back Emily hands the arrows to Katniss which she thanks her for.

They all gather around each other making a tally of who was left when a piercing scream rippled through the air. They look in the direction of the jungle confused before their attention is put on the girl who starts to scream beside them.

“PRIM! PRIM” Katniss yells out, getting up and running into the jungle with Finnick right behind her.

“No! Katniss! Katniss wait” he yelled after her.

In no time the two of them had outrun the rest of the group and as they try to travel deeper into the forest they are separated by an invisible wall. None of them had any idea what was happening.

“A forcefield?” Peeta questioned.

Beetee gasped, his eyes lighting up with knowledge, “A different sector of the map! We must’ve entered a new hour.”

Emily looked at him in alarm, “You mean they’re trapped in there?? We have to get them out, we have no idea what’s in there.”

Emily tried to feel her way along the forcefield with Peeta following her and eventually Johanna and Beetee joining in but it was useless. As they were trying to find a way in, Katniss and Finnick came back into view with a hoard of birds following behind them.

Emily and Peeta tried telling them to stop but the forcefield that separated them also seemed to cut off any sound from being heard because both of them crashed right into the barrier.

Peeta was screaming at Katniss, “It’s okay! It’s okay!! They’re just mutts! It’s not real!” but it was no use, the sounds of the birds were all Finnick and Katniss could hear. Emily watched in shock as both tributes covered their ears while being plummeted by the birds. They were relentless, constantly hovering above them shouting who knows what but it was obviously painful as both Katniss and Finnick started screaming.

Johanna tried to knock on the barrier with the base of her axe but it did nothing, they were trapped inside and the only thing they could do was wait the hour out. Emily couldn’t look at them, to see pain so visibly on their face made her insides turn.

Time felt like it went incredibly slow, eventually, Finnick and Katniss just rolled in on themselves while covering their ears when they found they couldn’t escape.

“Look! They’re falling,” Johanna eventually pointed out. The rest of them looked back into the sector and saw many of the birds coming and crashing down. Emily placed her hand where the barrier should be but found that it was no longer there. They could hear Katniss muttering to herself and they knew that the hour had come to an end.

“They’re gone! The hour’s up! It’s alright!” Peeta called out as he got near to Katniss while Johanna went to check up on Finnick asking if he was alright but he waved her off with a haunted look stuck on his face. Emily stood by Beetee not knowing what to say as she looked at the two victors.

“Prim,” Katniss said breathlessly, “They have Prim.”

“No no, it’s okay. It’s okay. They won’t touch Prim. Alright?”

“Peeta’s right,” Emily spoke up, coming to stand in front of the duo, “the whole country loves your sister. If they tortured her or did anything to her forget the districts, there would be riots in the damn Capitol,” she finished shaking her head.

Johanna laughed bitterly before she too spoke up, screaming into the arena, “Hey how does that sound Snow? What if we- What if we set your backyard on fire?” This idea caused Beetee to smile “You know you can’t put everyone in here!” Her screaming quieted down before she spoke again in her normal tone, “Wow, he can’t hurt me. There’s no one left that I love.” she sighed, “I’ll get you some water.”

She started walking away. “Beetee, Peeta, take Finnick and Katniss to the beach. I’ll go help Johanna,” Emily said before stalking off in the direction Johanna went.

Emily found her not too far, hammering the spile into a tree. She leaned against the tree watching her. “You know I would ask you if you’d want to air out your feelings but you look like you’re already having a miserable time.”

Despite her mood, Johanna chuckled but stayed silent as she filled up one half of a coconut with water, “You know Johanna I’ve always liked you.”

“Whoa whoa, I know I’m hot but I'm really not looking for a relationship right now,” Emily scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“Oh, you wish. Seriously Johanna you’re not given nearly enough credit for your bravery. I know how difficult it is to continue forward but you’ve done it and I’m proud of you.”

Johanna passes her one of the coconuts she filled with water before filling the other. “Thank you,” she whispers, “Sometimes I forget why I liked you so much in the first place and every now and then you remind me.”

Emily gasped dramatically, “You forget?”

Johanna laughs and the banter continues between them as they finish getting the water. They collected the spile and the two of them went on their way back to the beach, Johanna picking up one of Katniss’ arrows on the way. When they returned Johanna went and sat down next to Katniss giving her the water which left Emily with the job to go talk to Finnick.

She made her way down slowly not really knowing how to approach Finnick in such a state. Emily was used to all the flirting he did and having him always take the reins in starting conversations but now she had to do that. It also doesn’t help that she practically turned him away earlier when all he did was try to help. Maybe she didn’t want his comfort but that didn’t mean she couldn’t try to give him some.

“Here,” She said, handing him the coconut and sitting next to him in the water. She looked out into the ocean and watched how the sun reflected off of the water. She listened to the sounds of the waves and how calming it all felt then she looked at the man next to her. He held the coconut in his hands but wasn’t drinking from it, instead he was looking directly at Emily, completely lost on why she was there. Of course, she wouldn’t have expected smiles or for him to spill his guts but it did feel weird to have all his attention on her like this as if she was the only person who could help him. It was a similar look her dad would often give her and she hoped that this time she could actually be of help.

She maintained his eye contact, “You know when I was younger I used to get these horrible nightmares,” she turned to look back out at the water, feeling like it was easier to talk when she couldn't see him staring.

“I’d wake up screaming my head off and my dad would burst into the room thinking something horrible was happening,” she lets out a small laugh as her eyes glaze over with the memory, “I’d tell him I was dreaming of my mom and brother, that these horrible things were happening to them and no matter how much I tried I just couldn’t reach them. I felt like it was my fault.” She turns back to him to find he’s listening to every word she’s saying, “I would hear them scream for me and I wasn’t strong enough to break free from these invisible restraints. My father would come and hold me until I felt better,” she smiled, “He was a terrible singer but he would always sing for me, songs my mother used to sing to calm me down.” She stopped and just stared at him.

“Can I sing one for you?” All he did was nod, watching her with such interest, completely captivated by her story and feeling like he understood just a small part of the real Emily Greene.

“Down in the ocean, deep in the water

There lived a creature with no love to offer

He was angry and beaten

But one day this beauty went to go and see ‘im

He was shocked and surprised, not understanding why

But she simply smiled and told him hi

She offered him care and she showed him love

And the creature’s heart lit up like white doves

Down in the ocean, deep in the water

There lived a creature with all the love to offer.”

She finished the song as she looked out into the water. A small smile graced her lips as she turned to look at Finnick. He had been captivated by her voice, it had been so soft and gentle. He had felt completely safe surrounded by her voice and he couldn’t help but smile back at her too. However, before he could speak to her Beetee and the others were calling them because a sponsor’s gift had arrived.

Emily had gotten up and in another surprise move she held out her hand for him to take. He took hold of her hand and she hauled him up. They walked back to the others quickly wondering what gift was sent this time around. When they got there they found 24 pieces of bread and Emily’s eyes widened, it was a clue and she discreetly looked at the others, save for Katniss and Peeta.

They each took some bread, completely hungry, and sat down to eat it. Emily sat with Johanna, Beetee, and Finnick while Katniss and Peeta chose to sit by themselves.

As they sat eating and chatting about what the bread meant as discreetly as possible Emily’s mind traveled back to Finnick and the smile he had given her after she had sung. Although if you asked her she’d strongly deny it but she had felt a weird fluttering in her stomach at having him look at her in such a way. For now, though Emily was just chalking it up to being incredibly hungry. Oh, how wrong Emily was.

Chapter Text

Finnick informed the rest of the group that he had received bread from district 3 earlier in the games and with the 24 bread rolls they knew it meant that the rescue would happen on that day at midnight. They all shared knowing looks with each other before Beetee informed them he had a plan.

“Hey lovebirds! Beetee’s got a plan!” Johanna shouted at Katniss and Peeta who then made their way back to the rest of the group.

Beetee starts speaking once they all settled around him, “Where do the careers feel safest? Is it the jungle?”

“The jungles a nightmare,” Johanna answers.

“Probably here on the beach,” Peeta adds.

“Then why are they not here?” Beetee questions.

“Because we are, we claimed it,” Emily says matter of factly.

“And if we left they would come?” Beetee questions as a look of realization passes Johanna’s face.

“Or stay hidden in the treeline,” Finnick answers.

“Which in just over four hours will be soaked with water from the ten o’clock wave. What happens at midnight?” Beetee asks, getting closer to telling the group his plan.

“Lightning strikes that tree,” Katniss replies.

“Here’s what I propose, we leave the beach at dusk. We head to the lightning tree, that should draw them back to the beach. Prior to midnight we then run this wire from the tree to the water. Anyone in the water or in the damn sand will be electrocuted.”

Emily was impressed, she would never have thought to use the lightning to kill the other tributes. She never doubted Beetee’s intelligence but watching him apply his ideas was fascinating to Emily and also concerning to see how dangerous he could be.

“How do we know the wires not going to burn up?” Johanna asks.

“Because I invented it. I assure you it won’t burn up,” Beetee explains.

Johanna and Finnick look at each other and Emily notices the way Katniss eyes them with suspicion before she looks over at Peeta.

“Well it’s better than hunting them down,” Johanna concedes.

“Yeah, why not? If it fails, no harm done anyway right?” Katniss readily agrees, making Emily question her motives.

“Alright, I say we try it,” Peeta adds supporting Katniss’ answer.

Everyone turns to look at Emily then to see if she agrees with the plan. She turns to the others and for the first time feels slightly suspicious of her allies. She had seen the look Johanna and Finnick shared and it made her feel wary of what they were planning. They of course were in on the plan to rescue Katniss but the look they had shared made Emily feel confused and as if she was missing a missing piece to the puzzle. She forces herself to snap out of her thoughts and turns to look at Beetee.

“Okay, what do we have to do?” Emily questions.

“Keep me alive for the next 6 hours,” he says to which they all nod.

------

Once dusk came the group made their way to the tree. Emily noticed the way Johanna and Finnick were quietly whispering to each other at the front of the group and the uneasiness crept back into Emily’s mind. She kept her sword out as they walked and she subconsciously gripped it tighter as she looked at them, she couldn’t help but feel something was going to go wrong. Someone put their hand on her shoulder and she quickly turned around putting her sword on her victim’s throat. She only put it down once she saw it was just Peeta and Katniss, who now had her bow pointed at Emily.

“Sorry, I- Sorry,” she stumbled on her words, her mind still racing. Katniss hesitantly puts her bow back down.

“Hurry up slowpokes!” Johanna shouted from ahead of them not seeing what had just happened between the trio. They all started walking together to meet up with the group but as they got closer Emily held them back, creating a bit of distance between them and the others. Katniss and Peeta looked at her curiously.

“Listen,” Emily started whispering, “I don’t know what’s going to happen after the careers are dead but you two have to look out for each other. Make sure to keep each other close.” Katniss looked at her with confusion and suspicion.

“Why would you help us?” she questioned. Emily looked at her as if that was the dumbest question she had ever heard.

“Why?” She repeated and Katniss just nodded.

“Because you deserve to make it out alive,” Katniss stared at her completely stunned at how genuine she sounded but couldn’t say anything more on the topic as Emily sped up and walked ahead of them to catch up with the rest of the group.

Katniss looked over at Peeta, “Do you think she heard something from the others?”

Peeta shrugged, “I’m not sure, but it might keep us alive longer. We can figure out what to do once alone.”

Katniss nodded, staring at the girl walking a few feet in front pondering over the advice she had just given them and what it meant.

As they were walking to the tree it had already gotten dark and the dead tributes of that day had been projected onto the dome. Emily was sad to see Chaff’s name displayed. He had made it a long way by himself and Emily was proud to have known the man. Seeing his name projected into the sky just solidified her need to bring Snow down even more. There were many other familiar faces projected and she felt saddened to see all the people who had died before they got a taste of freedom.

However, as the group continues with their plan a problem arises when Beetee informs them they’d have to split up.

“I'm going to go with them as a guard,” Peeta tells Beetee when he insists Katniss and Johanna go to the beach to plant the wire.

“No no no no, you’re staying here to protect me and the tree,” Beetle replies.

“No, I need to go with her,” Peeta repeats with more authority.

“There are two careers out there, I’ll need more protection,” Beetee argues back.

“Finnick and Emily can protect you just fine,” Peeta replies while Emily nods. Not sure why Beetee wants Peeta to stay.

“Yeah, why can’t Finnick and Johanna stay here with us, and Peeta and Katniss can take the coil?” Emily questions becoming more suspicious of the three tributes. She shares a glance with Katniss who nods at her.

“You all agreed to keep me alive till midnight, correct?” Beetee asks Katniss, Peeta, and Emily. Looking at the three of them sternly.

“It’s his plan, we all agreed to it,” Johanna tells them all, raising an eyebrow at Emily which just causes her to scrunch her eyebrows in confusion. What were they playing at?

“Is there a problem here?” Finnick questions and Emily grips her sword tighter as she turns to scowl at him. He however looks unimpressed by her reaction and looks toward Katniss.

“Excellent question,” Beetee says staring the three of them down.

“No, there’s no problem,” Katniss tells them, seeing that this would end badly, and makes her way to Peeta. Emily looks away giving them some privacy and instead looks to Johanna. Johanna feels her eyes on her and looks back, Emily doesn’t understand the whole purpose of splitting Peeta and Katniss up. Finnick and herself could easily defend Beetee, and while Peeta and Katniss were unaware of the plan Johanna could always inform them when the time came nearer. It was also a well-known fact that Katniss and Peeta could handle themselves if they needed to so Emily could not wrap her head around why Johanna and Finnick were so eager to pull them apart.

Emily would’ve kept thinking about it longer if Katniss didn’t come up to her and surprisingly hug her. However, Emily understood why she did it when she then whispered to her, knowing no one could hear them.

“Please protect him,” Katniss looked her in the eyes as she pulled away and Emily nodded.

She watches as Johanna and Katniss walk away and back into the jungle before turning back to look at the others. Beetee goes back to check on the tree and Peeta just continues to look out in the direction Katniss had walked in, then her eyes catch onto Finnick’s. He’s looking at her with an eyebrow raised and her eyes instantly turn cold against him before she looks away and scouts the other side of the tree to make sure no one’s coming. After a short while, Peeta comes up to join her.

“You should come with us,” she looks at him questioningly.

“Katniss and I, we’re going to leave once this all goes down and you should come,” he adds, clarifying his statement.

She looks at him and gently smiles, “I’ve always wondered how you stayed so considerate even after everything you’ve been through. Most people would be happy at the idea of leaving a tribute behind if it means they’ll come closer to winning.”

“Doing that just shows the Capitol you’re playing their game.”

She smiles, “Haven’t we always just been playing their game?”

He lets out a small laugh, “Well I don’t plan on just being another pawn in their game.”

She smiles at him and they sit next to each other as they continue talking, she doesn’t even notice the pair of sea-green eyes watching her from afar.

Finnick sits and stares at the two talking and he wonders yet again how Emily can so easily change her attitude, he knew she was starting to grow suspicious of Johanna and himself, and the looks she gave them just confirmed it. However, she couldn't seriously think that they would kill Katniss or Peeta when Katniss was the key to the rebellion, right? But those thoughts came to a halt when the wire suddenly went limp and Peeta and Emily quickly stood up.

“Katniss!!” Peeta screamed and started to run forward before Finnick held him back. Finnick, however, wasn’t expecting the blade of a sword to come up to his neck. He didn’t have to look at who it was when Emily came into view in front of him, shielding Peeta from him.

“Let him go Finnick,” She said in an icy tone. He had never heard her sound so cold towards him and it almost made him falter.

“Come on Greene, what would Seeder think?” he said trying to calm her down but she only scoffed.

“Seeder isn’t here. Now let go Odair,'' he slowly let go of Peeta as a scowl makes its way onto his face. This was seriously not how the plan was supposed to go. Emily had always been uncertain of him and having her here was not going to make anything easier.

“Peeta go,” Emily says, keeping her eyes trained on Finnick’s.

“What no-” Peeta tries to object, obviously not wanting to leave her alone with the other two men.

“GO PEETA,” she yells back at him, cutting him off.

Reluctantly Peeta turns around and starts running into the jungle knowing Emily wouldn’t back down. Finnick shakes his head in annoyance and acts fast not wanting to lose Peeta in the trees. He swings his trident fast at her legs and it sends her toppling to the ground but before he can bring the bottom of his trident to her head to knock her out she rolls out of the way.

She quickly gets on her knees and he swings again but she leans back on her legs barely missing his trident that swings over her. Emily grabs one of her daggers and sends it flying through the air but Finnick expertly blocks it before it can hit him. They’re both on their feet now and they take a moment to look at each other, then they’re fighting again. He stabs his trident forward but Emily blocks it. Neither of them backs down as they go back and forth with their advances when suddenly a smirk crosses her face and she lets her sword fall. Finnick stabs forward with his trident but punctures the air as she steps to the side and quickly grabs onto the middle of the trident before Finnick can pull it back. His surprise is what makes him falter and she pulls the other end of the trident with all her force making Finnick stumble forward with it.

She bends down as he stumbles towards her and he trips over her. He rolls off of Emily and falls flat on his back. Finnick tries to get back up but Emily is too quick and is on him in the next second, trapping his arms down with her knees and pressing her dagger against his throat.

“Emily, come on. I'm not the enemy,” she stares at him hard but nothing changes in her eyes, she still looks like she could murder him and not even care, it scares him. Her blade is now drawing blood but still, she does not loosen her grip on him.

“Emily please!” He begs not caring how pathetic he sounds. It seems however luck is with him because in her focus on him she misses Beetee coming behind her with a wooden branch and crashing it against her head. He can hear the thud of the branch meeting her skull as she falls to the side. He takes a moment to regain his breath and lets Beetee help him up, they then look down on the girl together who is now bleeding from her head but is still breathing.

“She can really be lethal,” Beetee comments and then looks over to Finnick, “You should go find the others.” Finnick nods and makes his way into the jungle after grabbing his trident. He never thought he’d have to fight Emily but at least now he knows something new about the girl. She’s a hell of a lot stronger than she looks.

-----

Katniss hears Finnick whisper from above her but makes no sound as he speaks into the jungle, only when she’s sure he’s gone does she get up and grab her bow. She knew there was something suspicious about the way Johanna and Finnick had looked at each other. Only now after Johanna attacked her does she wish she would’ve fought harder to stay with Peeta and thought more about Emily's words.

Thinking about Peeta and the state he might be in makes her start moving back to the tree as quickly as she can. Once she makes it back there’s an explosion by the edge of the dome and for a horrible second, she thinks it’s Peeta again. She quickly runs forward and finds that it’s Beetee instead who is now twitching on the ground with smoke coming off of his body, his suit is singed and torn in some places and he’s been knocked unconscious. She looks around and sees two things but her eyes train on the body first.

It’s Emily, she’s bleeding from her head and it’s clear she’s been knocked out but Peeta is nowhere around. She hopes Emily helped him get away to safety, maybe that’s why Finnick was in the jungle looking around. He might’ve lost sight of Peeta and needed to regroup with Johanna to find and hunt him down but if that’s true then why did he not kill Emily? She’s sure no cannon went off meaning Emily must still be alive, it all makes no sense to her the more she thinks about it.

She looks around again at what Beetee had been holding in his hands and finds a spear with metal attached to it. She looks back to the forcefield and to the spear and the pieces start to click in place but before she can do anything about it she hears a cannon go off and immediately thinks the worst.

“PEETA!” She screams into the jungle. When no response comes she screams his name out again, she hears a rustling from up ahead of her and waits to see who it is. She grabs an arrow and places it in her bow as she hides behind a few pieces of tall grass. Finnick comes into view and she pulls back the arrow in her bow ready to release it at any second. She’s not sure what to think of Finnick yet. He could either be her killer or her next victim.

“KATNISS WHERE ARE YOU?” he screams but she doesn’t reply. Her arrow is trained on him and she breathes heavily as she thinks about if she should let the arrow fly. Looking around his eyes finally find hers and they just stare at each other. He starts to put his hands up in surrender as he sees her hands tighten around the bow and arrow.

“Katniss,” she doesn’t reply.

“Remember who the real enemy is,” he says pleadingly. He seems to be pleading a lot tonight.

She stares at him for another few seconds before slowly putting her bow down. She contemplates his words, he’s right. They’re only in this situation because of one person and she comes to the conclusion that she’s done killing for him.

The real enemy has always been President Snow. As if taunting her the thunder starts signaling the lightning is about to strike the tree. She looks at the clouds swirling in the sky and then back at Beetee and his spear, she has an idea. She doesn’t even know if it’ll work but in the back of her mind she hears Beetee’s words from back in the training center, “There’s always a flaw in the system.”

She can faintly hear Finnick screaming at her in the background to get away from the tree but her plan is all she can think about right now. She grabs her arrow and a loose piece of the wire that she wraps around the spear of the arrow. After she’s securely wrapped the wire around it she stands and points the arrow up toward the roof of the dome and waits for the lightning to strike. It only takes a few more seconds before she sends the arrow flying through the air as she’s blown off of her feet.

She’s barely conscious as she looks up into the darkness of the dome. It starts small, with a glimpse of light coming through, and then the dome starts to fall above her, she can’t move as she watches the arena destroy itself, her body feeling like dead weight. Through the opening, she can see the hovercraft come into view and if she wasn’t so tired she’d be afraid. Katniss is sure it’s the Capitol coming to collect her. As the claw lifts her through the air she’s unable to hold on any longer and her last thoughts are of Peeta as she slips into darkness.

Chapter Text

Emily slowly opened her eyes. Her vision was blurry as she tried to adjust her eyes to the light shining down upon her. Her mind was foggy and she couldn’t think, the only thing she could focus on was trying to get her vision cleared. The more she blinked the more sleep left her body and soon the ceiling came into view. She stared up at it in confusion, the ceiling was white and there was a light directly above her that shined brightly. The longer she looked the more her brain started to process everything that she last remembered and she shot up from her bed.

The movement caused her head to throb painfully and she let out a groan at the feeling. Her vision swam from her movements and when she reached to gently touch her head she instantly pulled her hand away when she found the slightest touch hurt. Once her vision had settled again she slowly looked around the room and saw she was in what looked like a hospital. How had she gotten here? The last thing she remembered was being in the arena and fighting against Finnick but where did the head injury come from? She couldn’t remember anything that happened after she had pinned him down.

She was starting to grow concerned, had the Capitol come and collected her? Had they done something to her memories? She slowly got up and walked to the only door in the room, her feet feeling incredibly cold as they touched the stone ground. She tried to pull the door open but found that it was locked and her panic grew even more. She couldn’t get out. She looked around the room again, her eyes rapidly scanning it to see if there was anything she had missed that could tell her where she was but there was nothing except for a small tableside drawer and an empty chair beside her bed. She was pacing around the room now, looking at every corner and under the bed not caring that her head was starting to hurt from the quick movements. Only when she was looking through the drawer next to her bed did she finally notice she was no longer in her wetsuit from the arena. She was wearing beige tights and a hospital gown but what surprised her most was the scar that she had on her right forearm. She traced over the scar and could tell it was from a recent injury as it was still red and pink.

Her thoughts instantly went into overdrive when she heard the door open and she quickly stood up straight facing the woman who had just walked into the room. She was wearing a jumpsuit and a name tag embroidered onto it read ‘Nurse.’ Emily eyed her suspiciously as she stepped into the room, noticing that she left the door unlocked upon her entry. The woman had dark brown hair that was turning gray in some spots and her eyes were a warm blue. Her skin was dark and beautiful and Emily could see that this woman had years of happiness from the laugh lines around her mouth and eyes but still she knew looks could not be trusted.

“Ah hello, I’m glad to see you’re awake,” the woman said but she gained no reply from Emily who just looked at her in suspicion.

“My name is Arabella-”

“Where am I?” Emily cut her off, not being able to stomp out her panic of where she currently was.

Arabella paused, she knew the young girl in front of her must’ve been scared, she could see it in the way she held herself. Her eyes calculated every movement Arabella made and she looked like she was ready to fight at any moment if need be. Arabella thought it was cruel that at such a young age she felt like she needed to always fight for her life.

Arabella smiled softly at her “You’re in district 13 dear, you’re currently in the hospital after your injuries from the arena.”

“District 13? Ar-Are you serious?” Emily asked, afraid to be hopeful lest it was a cruel game the Capitol was playing.

“Yes, sweetheart. Here what if I look over your injuries and give you some medicine. Then I can call Mr. Heavensbee here to speak with you. Is that okay?” Arabella said in a soft voice, as if afraid she might scare the girl.

“Plutarch?” Emily asked her mind in a mess. Plutarch was in district 13? District 13 existed? Emily had so many questions spinning around in her mind and Arabella’s replies just added more to the list.

“Yes dear. He’s been waiting for you to wake up so he could come to speak to you” Arabella replied in a gentle voice. Maybe it was Emily’s need to know the answers to her questions that prompted her to nod her head at Arabella to come in but Emily also knew that in the back of her mind hope was brewing that she was finally safe from the Capitol. And on top of that, the pain from her head was starting to kill her.

Arabella was quick to check on her head and told her she’d need to stay in the hospital for a few more days as she recovered. She gave her some more pills for the pain and told her she’d come back around later with lunch. Emily thanked her and bid her goodbye and she was once again left in the room alone. She finally let herself feel relief as she sat on her bed. She was finally out of the Capitol or so she hoped. But did this mean the others were here too? If she were truly safe it meant that the rebellion had really started now and she allowed herself a small smile as she thought about Snow having lost all control.

She was still processing her own thoughts when a knock announced the arrival of another person. When she looked up she saw that it was Plutarch Heavensbee and her body instantly went rigid. She chased away any emotions that still showed on her face and eyed him carefully. He nodded to her as a form of greeting but she didn’t reciprocate the action. He walked into the room leaving the door open behind him, she guessed it must’ve been to show her that he wasn’t a threat. He pulled out the chair that was next to her bed and sat in front of her.

Only when he sat down and got comfortable did he say “I bet you have a lot of questions.”

She merely raised an eyebrow. Of course, she had a lot of questions, one of them being why he was even here in the first place. It made her feel uneasy, the last time she had seen Plutarch he was smiling down at her from his enclosed terrace in the training center.

He sighed, “I know you’re familiar with the Mockingjay plan. For a multitude of reasons, not everyone was told everything. Seeder believed it would be best to keep you in the dark on many things.” Emily stared at him with confusion evident on her face “She believed that if the words came from her you would be more willing to agree to save Katniss, but District 13 and I have been planning this for months. Only until the games did we start to recruit victors to help fight alongside the rebellion.”

Her mind was racing again, there was so much to process in what Plutarch had said but what rattled her most was the mention of him being in contact with district 13. “For months? If you were in contact with them for months, why didn’t you help us before the games?” she said accusingly.

“It’s not that simple Ms. Greene”

“You had us kill each other! All for what? Just to save Katniss?” She knew it sounded harsh and that Katniss was important but was one life really worth more than the others, were they all just replaceable to him?

“We needed to make sure President Snow thought the problem of uprisings was being taken care of. Without him thinking that the problem was being taken care of he would resolve to violent means, the districts would be pushed to the brink of extinction until they could no longer fight. We could not risk losing this upper hand.” Plutarch explained

She stares at him hard, searching for any signs that he's being insincere but finds none and finally says “I thought district 13 had been destroyed.”

He smiles and lets out a laugh “They’re resilient people. They have found how to survive even with the odds pointed against them and Snow underestimates the power of the districts.”

She nods and her mind wanders again, the games had been part of the plan. Perhaps they hadn’t been used for Snow’s game but that just means they were pawns in someone else’s and that thought didn’t sit right with Emily.

“Where are the others? Is Seeder here?” She asks wanting to see someone that will give her comfort to let her know that everything really is okay, that the sacrifices were worth something but her hope dies down when she sees the grave look on Plutarch’s face.

“Ms. Greene there were complications when it came to the rescue” Emily’s nerves were starting to get the better of her again and her hands started to shake. She rolled them up and dug her nails into her palm to stop the shaking. “We were only able to save the tributes closest to Ms. Everdeen meaning Beetee, Finnick, Katniss, and yourself are the only victors from the arena to be in District 13. The rest, Johanna, Peeta, and Enobaria were taken by the Capitol.”

Emily’s hands flew up to her mouth as a small gasp left her lips and she started shaking her head as tears started to sting her eyes.

Plutarch continued “Johanna was able to take out Katniss’ tracker but Finnick wasn’t able to find Peeta and extract his” Her hands were shaking again as she thought back to the arena. It was her fault Peeta had been taken. She had told him to run and then she had held Finnick back from doing what he was supposed to.

As if reading her thoughts Plutarch commented “It’s not your fault, we agreed that the fewer people who knew of this plan the better. You were only doing what you felt was right.” The words didn’t make her feel any better. She had given Peeta’s freedom to the Capitol the minute she raised her sword to Finnick and it cost him everything. The same freedom he had spoken to her about when they were in the arena and yet she had helped trap him.

“As for Seeder” He exhaled and Emily already knew she would not be getting happy news “I don’t know why the Capitol did it. We think it was because of your relationship with Johanna but by the time we got to her she had already been taken, we received word later that she had been killed.”

A tear rolled down her cheek as she thought about Seeder. She had doomed her too. She had led Seeder and Peeta straight to their demise all because she thought she was helping. Everyone she tried to help ended up worse at the end of it and the relief she felt earlier was replaced with guilt. She felt sick to be here when people’s lives were sacrificed for the mistakes she made.

Plutarch looked away “I’m sorry, I really am but we have a chance now to fight for them, to fight for these people and Snow will pay for it.” She looked at him then and she saw the determination in his eyes. She nodded, not being able to speak the words she wanted to when she couldn’t get her mind to calm down. Plutarch didn’t stay long after that, he bid her goodbye which Emily didn’t acknowledge instead she just looked at the wall across from her.

She remembers feeling the wetness of her tears on her cheeks but she made no noise as she let her emotions out. She didn’t deserve this, didn’t deserve to live another day when every breath she took was tainted by the deaths she had caused.

Arabella found her that way when she came to deliver lunch. She didn't even look her way as she entered and didn't answer her as she spoke, it was as if she was lost in her own world. Tentatively Arabella sat on the edge of her bed and only then did Emily finally turn to look at her. The sadness behind her eyes was apparent and the girl looked so much older than she was. Arabella carefully placed a hand over hers and Emily surprisingly held onto her like if she was the only thing keeping her grounded.

"It's all my fault" She whispered as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks "they were taken because of me. I caused it."

Arabella didn't understand what Emily was talking about but she had been a mother once and she knew that what Emily needed was comfort. Arabella pulled the girl in for a hug and ran her hand through her hair as she sang softly to her. Emily hung onto her with a strong grip but if it bothered Arabella she didn't say.

Emily had never cried so much, it was like everything had come rushing back to her head the minute she had a moment of relief. She knew that it was because for the first time the Capitol couldn't get to her. She was finally able to let her guard down and with it came the need to release her grief. Grief for her brother and parents who were taken from her, for Seeder and Chaff who always cared for her when she couldn't care for herself, and grief for Johanna and Peeta who were taken because she had gotten in the way. It all trickled down to one person, President Snow. He had ruined everything for her the moment he took her sweet mother away. She was forced to grow up and learn to take care of not only herself but her father as well after Joshua had been put into the games.

Her father was a lovely man but losing so much made you lose the light in yourself. He eventually became a shell of a man and when she had come back from her games he was no longer the same man she had known. She wished that would've made it easier when Snow had taken him, to claim it wasn't even her father. However, even when he was drinking the nights away she knew that she would always love him even if he wasn't what she remembered him to be. She couldn't blame him, she had felt what it was like to lose everyone too and the pain and loneliness that came with it. It was suffocating to feel heartbreak and not have any way to repair it.

Arabella’s singing started to push those thoughts out of her head as she listened to the melody that came from her lips. She listened carefully to a song about a young girl who traveled the world and Emily unknowingly smiled at the idea. Emily doesn't notice when she falls asleep but she wakes up later on tucked in the sheets of her hospital bed. She spends the next few days in that state, only talking to Arabella when needed and only eating when her hunger becomes too much to bear. She never left her room even when Arabella informed her the door was unlocked, Emily couldn’t find the energy to get out of bed until Arabella had informed her that she would be discharged.

Within a few minutes of her being awake Arabella strides in with a huge smile on her face that makes Emily feel just a tad bit better.

"Good morning my dear. You slept for a while today but you have a busy day ahead of you so we must get on with it." Arabella said cheerfully.

Emily looked at her questioningly.

Sensing her confusement Arabella quickly elaborates "You'll be shown around district 13 today as Plutarch suggested it would be best for you to get out of this room and have you settle in with the rest of the community and later President Coin has called a meeting with you and the other victors. So we must get you ready."

"Get me ready?" Emily asks, her voice still hoarse from hardly using it.

"You're in desperate need of a shower sweetheart." She says as she pours Emily a glass of water and holds it out for her.

Emily frowns but then picks up a piece of her hair and sees how greasy and stinky it's gotten and cringes. She looks up to see Arabella looking slightly amused and quickly drops her hand and straightens herself up before taking the water and sipping on it.

Arabella takes the hint of her discomfort and speaks again "Follow me love, I'll show you to the showers" She walks out before Emily can get her bearings but soon she puts her glass down and is out of her room and following Arabella.

Emily looks around as they walk at the concrete walls that surround them. She looks and sees other hospital rooms as they pass but she recognizes no one inside which she's happy about. They make their way to the showers and Arabella opens the door to let Emily in.

Emily looks around and sees that there are two stalls inside with curtains that block anyone from looking in. The other stall is a small changing room with a mirror mounted onto the wall. Arabella looks through the cabinets that are located across from the two stalls and pulls out 3 different bottles and a towel for Emily and hands them to her as she goes to the shower.

"This knob right here dear is how you'll change the temperature of the water, to the left will make it warmer, and pulling it to the right will make it colder. The blue bottle is Shampoo, the purple is conditioner, and the white bottle is soap. I will be waiting inside the room just in case anything happens and you need medical attention but don't worry the curtain will offer you privacy while showering. Just make sure to wrap the towel around yourself before stepping out." Emily nods and turns to the shower setting down the soaps and hanging up her towel on a hook.

She then turns and looks at Arabella who is now sitting on a chair that faces away from her.

"Arabella?" She questions aloud.

"Yes, sweetheart?" She answers without turning around.

"Where do I put my clothes?" Arabella laughs.

"Oh dear, sorry I didn't explain that part. Just leave your clothes in a pile outside the shower curtain and when the janitors come around to clean they'll take it and drop it off at the laundromat where they'll be cleaned."

Emily nods before realizing Arabella can't see her. "Okay, thank you" She turns back to the shower and walks in before closing the curtain. She takes off her clothes and leaves them outside the shower as instructed. Once she starts the water she doesn't care for the temperature at all, she's just happy about finally being able to properly clean herself again and sighs in relief when she massages the shampoo through her hair, being careful to be gentle as her injuries still hurt. She takes a while cleaning herself wanting to get rid of any dirt and sand that still lingers from the arena before she comes out of the shower and walks to the changing room. Inside Emily finds that Arabella has set her some undergarments and clothes to wear that include a thermal shirt and pair of tights and a gray jumpsuit to go over it. Before getting ready she looks over at herself and notices how much thinner she looks and despite having gotten a lot of rest from when she was unconscious she still looks so tired. She has bruises on herself from where she had been hurt while fighting in the arena, one noticeably on her forehead that makes her question where it came from. She thinks for a second that she doesn't recognize herself. Although she knows it's her who stands in the reflection of the mirror, it feels as though she's looking at someone completely different.

She gets ready and instantly feels much warmer with these clothes than when she had her hospital gown on. The last thing she does before leaving the changing room is put on some socks and a pair of black work boots that she actually likes a lot.

Arabella finally turns to look at her once the changing curtain is pulled open and she smiles at seeing her out of the hospital gown however she notices Emily keeps pushing her hair behind her ears but it keeps stubbornly falling forward each time.

"Here let me do your hair" Emily looks at Arabella in surprise but when she beckons her forward Emily's feet start to move to the chair Arabella just occupied. She sits down as Arabella starts gently working on her hair and a pang of sadness settles over her heart when she thinks of how her mother used to do this. Her mother would sit her down in front of her and tell her stories to keep her entertained as she did her hair every morning before school. Emily missed the feeling of someone taking care of her the way her mother had done and now that someone was the whole thing made Emily feel emotional.

"There we go dear, now it won't be getting in your face" Arabella smiled down at her and Emily sent her a watery smile back. Arabella had put half of her hair up, making french braids at the top of her hair that finished in little buns at the end. It made Emily feel like a child all over again but she liked it, that was back when she had no worries and life with her family was good and complete.

Arabella led her to the main lobby of the hospital where a man in another gray jumpsuit waited for them. Arabella informed her that he would be taking her around district 13 and accompanying her to President Coin's meeting but before they could say their goodbyes Arabella was being pulled away to check on another patient.

She got in the elevator with the man before he finally spoke to her.

"Hello, names Gale Hawthorne and I'll be showing you around today."

Chapter Text

"Emily," She replied, nodding at him.

As they rode down the elevator they entered a different part of district 13 and Emily couldn't help the gasp that escaped her mouth when she saw just how huge District 13 was. Gale laughed at her excitement which instantly made Emily close herself up again.

"I had the same reaction too when I first saw it. It's amazing isn't it?" He asked and Emily realized his laugh hadn't been one of ridicule so she let herself become openly curious again.

"When you first saw it?" Emily questioned.

"I'm from district 12 but after what the Capitol did we had to flee. Many of us were lucky to have been saved by District 13." He looked solemn while discussing the events and Emily wondered what had happened to District 12. She also wondered if he knew Katniss as well, or if they only lived in the same district.

At one point they stopped and exited the elevator "This is where everyone lives. Everyone's living quarters are the same." They walked to the stairs in the center of the room and climbed a few floors before walking to one of the rooms titled '232,’ Gale opened the door for her. Hesitantly Emily walked in looking out the window where she got a view of the rest of the rooms across from hers. She could see some of the rooms that were on higher and lower levels of hers if she stood closer to the window, some of their occupants were milling around inside. She looked across from her room and her heart stopped at the person she saw sitting at the desk tying some rope. She could recognize him anywhere and she wondered when her brain had stored so many details about the man. It was Finnick, he was in his own world as he tied the rope and instantly she started to shake thinking back to how she had been the reason he couldn't get to Peeta and looked away quickly trying to get rid of the memory. Gale seemed to not have noticed the moment and began to speak about the room which Emily was thankful for.

"The rooms are all set up this way with a small room in the front that has a desk of some sort and then this room," he said stepping through the doorway at the other side of the room "This is where the beds are located. There's also a window here but if you click this button the curtains will come down and offer you privacy." He showed her by clicking the button and then clicking it again to allow light to come in through the window once again. Then he walked to a drawer located on the side of one of the beds. "Clean sets of clothes will be placed here, you are required to take your clothes to the laundry room every Wednesday and Sunday where they will be washed and returned to your room. If you fail to take your clothes to them you will have to wait until the next available date to get your clothes washed. It's a very strict schedule but it's done that way to conserve water." She nodded, taking all the information in but began to get nervous and wondered if she would remember where everything was located.

"If you ever need help finding anything just ask me or anyone from District 13 and they'll be happy to point you in the right direction. Now come on, I'll show you where the laundry room is, then we'll go to the cafeteria, and shower room." She nodded and followed him out but she wondered how Gale so easily read her thoughts.

One thing Emily hadn't anticipated was for District 13 to be so massive. Every time she thought they had reached the end of the district they just kept going lower, and they used every space available. It was amazing to see how they lived and Emily could no longer doubt how they managed to survive so many years hidden from the Capitol and the rest of the districts.

Her favorite room was the garden room, it felt like she was really outside and the tweeting of the birds made her feel so relaxed. She was so happy to see more and discover more but Gale said they had to stop for now as the meeting with Coin would be happening soon.

"Will we be able to see more of the district afterward?" Emily asked hoping she didn't sound too curious.

She failed and Gale could clearly hear the curiosity in her voice "If I'm not assigned for something else then yes I'll gladly show you around more." She smiled up at him before she realized what she was doing and quickly looked away hoping to hide the smile on her face but Gale still saw and a small smile made its way onto his face as well. It seems they were the last ones to arrive at the meeting because the room was filled when they got there and the only remaining seats were next to Haymitch and another man she did not recognize. Gale and she sat down with her sitting next to Haymitch who she looked at in concern when she saw how tired and horrible he looked. She looked around the table at others and saw Plutarch was there as well as Effie who she knew was District twelve's escort. As her eyes traveled down the table she saw Beetee who nodded at her, she nodded back but her eyes widened in shock when she saw he was in a wheelchair and she wondered what had happened. Next to him sat Finnick and when their eyes met the guilt came rushing back to her and she quickly looked away to a face she recognized very well. Katniss. She was in a black outfit and she was wearing makeup, she looked so out of place with everyone in their gray jumpsuits but Emily could only feel the guilt become stronger as she looked at her knowing that she was the reason Peeta was in the Capitol. She looked away from her too and looked down at her hands before someone cleared their throat.

"Hello, I am Alma Coin. President of District 13, I'm very sorry that we couldn't give you more time to recover but we're moving a lot faster now that Katniss has agreed to be our Mockingjay." She spoke directly to Emily but all Emily could do was nod, not knowing why everyone was gathered and why President Coin was just speaking to her.

She didn't know how to feel about the woman. She had sleek gray hair and looked very professional. You could tell she was a woman who held power but Emily still had a bad feeling of people who ruled alone. People oftentimes let power go to their head and their views would fall to only benefit themselves and not the people. And if Emily had learned anything from Snow it was that power was a fickle thing.

Gale put a hand on her shoulder as if sensing her discomfort and it oddly worked to calm her down. She looked at him and wondered yet again how she could not hide from him. Maybe the answers would come the more time she spent around him but she also didn't plan on befriending people now that a war was starting. Love and care would only make losses hurt more.

Coin got the memo that Emily would not answer and addressed the whole room this time. "Now that we're all here I would like for us to review the video Katniss shot to promote the rebellion. We need opinions on what you think and what we can do to make it better. Play the video." She sat back down and the room darkened as a video started playing in front of them. They all looked at Katniss who stood in the middle of a crowd propped up on a rock holding a flag of the Mockingjay. She was giving a speech to the people surrounding her but anyone who watched it could clearly tell that Katniss was no actor. When the video ended there was a moment of silence where no one spoke and from where she sat Emily could see Katniss sink in her seat as if she was hoping it would swallow her up.

"Madam President if I may," Haymitch said, getting up clearly doing his own thing no matter what President Coin said.

"Let's everybody think of one incident where Katniss Everdeen genuinely moved you. Not where you were jealous of her hairstyle, or her dress went up in flames or she made a halfway decent shot with an arrow. Not where Peeta was making you like her. I want to hear one moment where she made you feel something real"

"oh!" Effie raised her hand as if they were in class and then spoke again.

"When she volunteered for her sister at the reaping," she said softly.

"Excellent example," Haymitch said as he started swiping at the screen to make room to write. "I hope that wasn't important," he said speaking to Coin and Emily had to bite her cheek to hold in the smile that threatened to spill. He wrote Effie's suggestion and then she spoke again when she had another idea.

"When she sang that song for little Rue" Emily looked down. She had to mentor Rue and Thresh being as she was the most recent Victor and seeing someone so young be put into the games had absolutely shattered her. It hurt even more when she saw Katniss, a girl who had barely even known her, weep over her body and then place flowers around her. Emily had never mentioned it to Katniss but she was extremely grateful that Rue had somebody she felt safe with in her last moments, it was the least the young girl deserved.

"Oh yeah who didn't get choked up at that" Haymitch said adding another thought "You know I like you better Effie without all that makeup"

Effie was quick to reply back "Well I like you better sober" Haymitch looked back at her with a scowl but Effie ignored it as she just smiled at him.

"Similarly when she allied with Rue" Beetee added

"When she made the deal for Annie," Finnick said quietly and Emily had to stop herself from looking over at him. He sounded so small and broken and she didn't know why but it bothered her. However, immediately those thoughts made her feel angry with herself and she pushed everything away focusing on the task at hand.

"Her stunt with the berries" Emily added, keeping her eyes trained only on the board. “It was the first time anyone had ever changed the rules of the game.”

"Yes, exactly, and what do all of these things have in common?" Haymitch asked

"No one was telling her what to do," Gale responded from beside her.

“Unscripted, yes!” Beetee said from beside Finnick “So we should just leave her alone?”

“Well that’s very nice but not helpful” President Coin cuts in “Unfortunately opportunities for her being wonderful are rather limited here in thirteen. So unless you’re suggesting we toss her into the middle of combat-”

Haymitch cuts her off “That’s exactly what I’m suggesting. Put her out in the field and just keep the cameras rolling.” Coin doesn’t seem too happy with his suggestion.

“I can’t sanction putting an untrained civilian in battle just for effect. This is not the Capitol.” President Coin says, looking at Haymitch sternly.

However, Haymitch doesn’t back down “Every time we coach her or give her lines, the best we can hope for is okay. It has to come from her. That’s what the people are responding to.”

The man beside Gale speaks up “Even if we’re careful we can’t guarantee her safety. She’ll be a target for every-”

Katniss cuts him off with a look of determination on her face and Emily already knows that she won’t back down from the decision she’s just made “I want to go, I’m no help to the rebels here.”

“And if you’re killed?” Coin asks clearly not happy with having lost control of the conversation.

“Make sure you get it on camera,” Katniss replies, causing Plutarch to let out a laugh.

Coin looks at Katniss for a while clearly thinking about what was said before speaking once again. “Fine, we'll have to find a relatively safe space for you to go.”

“District eight reported heavy bombing this morning, any peacekeeper was cleared out before then. We can have her armed and with a team of bodyguards just in case for safety measures but it should be cleared by now.” Beetee informs the table.

Coin nods and then the man beside Gale speaks again “And wash her face, She’s still a girl and you made her look thirty-five.”

By the end of the meeting, President Coin decides that she will make a team of people go with Katniss to district eight to film an authentic reaction from her. Although President Coin seemed reluctant it was clear that Katniss couldn't be coached into what her next move would be, she had to sound genuine and the only way to do that was to put her into action.

Sadly as they were leaving together Gale got held back and told her to go to dinner without her. Emily nodded but she wasn't too sure if she wanted to go to dinner when she didn't know how the other tributes felt towards her. She was sure they knew it was her fault that Peeta was in the Capitol and she felt like her presence wouldn't be welcomed. She tried to walk past everyone and just make her way back to her room but unfortunately, someone stopped her before she could get anywhere too far.

"What's wrong darling not happy to see some old friends?" Haymitch asked which caused a sigh to be released from Emily’s lips before she turned to face him.

"Haymitch, you're looking rather" She took a pause looking for the word.

"handsome, amazing, dashing?" Haymitch supplied.

Emily raised an eyebrow clearly not amused. "I was going to say dreadful."

He scowled at her then threw an arm over her shoulder as they followed the other tributes down the stairs to the cafeteria. She was surprised to not smell the stench of liquor on him.

"Maybe that head injury is a lot worse than we thought" he brought a finger to her forehead and gently knocked against it. Emily slapped his hand away as a glare made its way onto her face.

"How do you know about my injury?" She asked suspiciously.

He raised an eyebrow "Plutarch didn't tell you?"

"If he did I wouldn't be asking." Emily shot back.

Haymitch rolled his eyes "Calm your little head princess. I was a part of the rescue team. When we were watching the games and you were kicking Finnick’s ass, Beetee had come to help him, probably afraid you’d kill him and knocked you over the head with a branch."

She touched the side of her head and wrinkled her nose in confusion. How had she not heard Beetee, in fact, how had she even forgotten he was there? If she had been really fighting for her life there she would have been killed for her ignorance.

She looked over at Haymitch who was looking at her amusedly "What happened after I was knocked out?"

"Well, you didn't miss much. Beetee tried to Penetrate the forcefield but couldn't and it left him paralyzed." Emily nodded, now understanding why he used a wheelchair. "And our lovely 'girl on fire' sent an arrow tied with the wire flying into the forcefield. She timed it perfectly so the arrow would be charged with the lightning from the tree and it took down the arena. Hence why we were able to come and rescue the tributes in that section. After that, we brought you here. It seems Beetee hit you a lot harder than he thought because you were out for more than just a few days."

Emily scoffed obviously knowing that Beetee had indeed hit her very hard. She had horrible headaches to prove it, all she knew for sure was that she had been unconscious for 2 weeks. In other words, she had just been useless for two weeks. They got closer to the cafeteria, losing the other tributes along the way. When they got in line that was when Haymitch finally took his arm off of Emily and she briefly wondered if he had used her just to steady himself down the stairs. They got their food, which she couldn't identify as actual food, and upon her questioning look Haymitch just said "It tastes better than it looks." Emily certainly hoped so because the gray mush was not helping in convincing her.

Once they found a place to sit Emily took a moment to look around the room and found Katniss sitting with Effie and Gale who had caught up with the group. At their table also sits Beetee and Finnick who seem to be having their own conversation. At least now she knew Gale knew Katniss which gave her an answer to her earlier question but now she had another one for the man sitting beside her.

"Why are you eating alone?" Emily asked, raising a spoonful of the gray mush on her plate and looking at it suspiciously before carefully bringing it to her lips. Haymitch followed the whole action carefully and looked away when he started to wonder if she had always been so easy to read or if she was just tired of hiding herself.

He cleared his throat "Maybe I just like to eat alone" She turned to look at him then raised an eyebrow, showing him she didn't believe his excuse when he had so readily allowed her to sit with him.

"Hey you have your secrets and I have mine" He retaliated

Emily sighed knowing she couldn't demand answers from him when it wasn't her business and nodded.

Instead, she chose to speak about something else "Fine, want to tell me why you look like you've been hit by 1000 peacekeepers?"

He stopped in the middle of bringing the spoon to his mouth with a stern look on his face and Emily couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of her mouth. She slapped a hand over her mouth trying to stop herself but when the gray slush started to slip off of Haymitch's spoon it just made her laugh harder.

"It's not funny, I'm dying here. Do you know they have no liquor here!" Emily calmed her laughing down and just smiled at him and Haymitch found that he quite liked her smile.

"Well Abernathy at least now the drinking won't kill you." She smiled, turning back to her food.

"No, instead a war will." The smile slipped off her face as she thought about how serious everything was. This was really it, everyone would fight and with that fight would come many deaths. Sure it was a relief to be away from the Capitol but they were still playing Snow's games even when he was nowhere near them. The grumbling from her stomach had stopped and instead had been replaced with knots and the food seemed even less appetizing than before. She put her spoon down and started to pull herself up from where she was eating but Haymitch reached out to grab her.

"Listen I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"

Emily cut him off "I know it's just been a lot for me. I-I think I should go" She pulled her hand away from him and walked out of the cafeteria feeling like the longer she stayed there the more she couldn't breathe. Once she was out of the cafeteria, she was running down the stairs and to her room. By the time she got there she was panting and sweating, unknowingly tears had started to slip from her eyes and her knees sank to the floor. She held her head in her hands and she crouched on the floor and all her feelings rushed out of her. She felt like there was too much going on. She felt like the minute she had grabbed onto something a million more details would pop up and anything she was sure of would slip right through her fingers. She doesn't know how long she sits there but by the time she calms herself the tears have long since dried.

She slowly lifts her head and then slowly gets up, needing the support of the chair at her desk from how numb her legs had gotten from being folded underneath her. When she gets up she wipes at her eyes and then straightens her jumpsuit out before she fully stands up. Once she steady's herself she looks out of the window in front of her desk she locks eyes with Finnick who's staring at her from his room and instantly Emily feels the knots forming in her stomach again. She doesn't know how long he's been looking into her room and that's what bothers her the most. Did he look in on her moment of weakness, must he hate her even more now for not even being able to hold herself together? She looks away first, not being able to look at him for so long, and decides to go into the other part of the room, closing her curtain and getting ready for bed. She just wants the day to be over already and she hopes the exhaustion she feels will be enough to lull her into a deep sleep.

Chapter Text

When Finnick woke up after being blasted from the tree he had been afraid he was being transported back to the Capitol but when he had looked around and seen Beetee, Katniss, and Emily laying in the same area with no peacekeepers around he instantly knew this was the rescue mission. He carefully got up and saw that his arm had been bandaged where his tracker used to be and a loose gray shirt had been placed above his arena suit. He had a breathing mask on which he took off as he sat up. Across from him was Emily who had bandages around her head that were already beginning to stain red and he frowned when he realized how bad her injury was.

She also had her arm bandaged as did Katniss and Beetee. Finnick guessed their trackers had been taken out too. He slowly got up and carefully walked around the others and noticed Beetee had many burns along his body and his suit was black in some parts. They all looked pretty horrible but it was obvious Emily and Beetee had gotten the worst of it. As he walked forward and towards the only door in the room, he heard some voices talking and slowed down trying to make out who the voices belonged to. When he realized one of them was Haymitch he felt himself relax a little and continued walking forward at a slower pace starting to feel sore from his injuries. When the doors opened and he saw Haymitch speaking with Plutarch Heavensbee he faltered in his steps and looked over at Haymitch with a questioning look in his eyes. For a second all his fears came rushing back and he thought that maybe Haymitch had sold them out to the Capitol but before his mind could go further with those though Plutarch spoke.

“Hello, I’m sure you have many questions but rest assured that you and the other victors that are with us are safe. We’re on our way to district 13 right now where the rebellion will really start.”

“You were behind all this?” Finnick questioned, confusion written all over his face.

Plutarch simply nodded “I needed to make sure President Snow trusted me. That he believed I was against the rebellion so that we could put our plans in motion. I’ve been in contact with district 13 for months now planning everything out, even the tributes were chosen based on if they would help support the revolution. You all had a purpose.”

Finnick stood dumbfounded, as he looked at the man in front of him. He had played his part so well and had put them through some of the worst days of their lives and yet the entire time he was behind what they were all fighting for. He didn’t know whether to be angry or impressed.

“Finnick there’s some other news” Haymitch spoke up, snapping Finnick out of his thoughts. The look on his face was enough to make Finnick worry.

“What happened?” Finnick asked not even caring that the panic seeped through to his words.

“We weren’t able to get to all of the tributes, Enobaria, Johanna, and Peeta were left behind. Their trackers show that they were just taken from the arena by the Capitol.”

Finnick’s heart dropped, he knew that the tributes were strong but anything that the Capitol had in store for them would be sure to break them, they’d wish they were dead. He wanted to tell Haymitch and Plutarch to turn around, to track down the hovercraft that took them and rescue them but his voice was caught in his throat. He was terrified for them but selfishly he was scared for himself as well, he didn’t fight against Snow just to be taken back to that place. So, despite it being cowardly he pushed those thoughts out of his mind and said something else.

“Katniss will be furious, have you thought about how you’ll tell her?” He asked, walking around the table and settling in the middle of both men, directly across from the door he came through. Haymitch looked over at Finnick but before he could answer Plutarch was speaking.

“It’s best just to tell her exactly how it is. She’ll be furious either way and it’s best if she knows from the get-go what has happened. I imagine it’ll keep her from making any decision on being the Mockingjay for a while but I also know she’ll come around to it.”

Finnick looked over at him intending to answer but Haymitch beat him to it. “Listen I know you think you know her but Katniss will be furious. Maybe it’s best to keep her in the dark until there is a plan to extract the other victors so she won’t hold onto the anger.”

Plutarch sighed “Haymitch that anger is exactly what will keep this revolution going. We all know these weren’t the circumstances we were hoping for but maybe this will give Katniss something to fight for. She’ll still agree to be the Mockingjay, I am sure of it.”

“She’ll lose it when she finds out about the boy,” Haymitch says.

“She’ll still corporate though” Plutarch argues back.

“Without Peeta, there’s no guarantee” Haymitch replies, shaking his head.

Finnick finally decides to speak up “Just tell her when-” but he only gets so far before the door he had come out a few moments ago opens up again revealing the one girl they were speaking about.

Finnick can see the gears in Katniss’ mind turning as she looks at the people in the room, the confusion clearly showing on her face before it turns to fury when she locks eyes with Haymitch.

“Morning sweetheart” Haymitch answers clearly unbothered by her attitude.

She quickly charges at him, angry for reasons Finnick can only guess, one probably being that Plutarch is in the room. She soon confirms those thoughts when she yells out what Haymitch is doing with him.

She turns and looks at Finnick from her position of being trapped against the wall and speaks out to him “What the hell are you doing in here?” She asks angrily.

“Stop, stop,” He says hoping to calm her down “Just listen.”

Plutarch and Haymitch explain the plan of getting her out and where they are currently heading to but it seems she’s distracted by only one thing and that’s Peeta’s whereabouts.

“Where’s Peeta?” She asks, clearly panicked for his safety.

“He still has his tracker in his arm. Johanna cut yours out.” Haymitch starts to explain.

“Where is he?” She says clearly not liking where this was going.

“In the Capitol. They got him and Johanna” As Haymitch explained, Finnick could see the anger rise in her. He knew she would be upset but he didn’t understand why the anger was directed at Haymitch who she was so clearly most upset with. However, he got his answers immediately.

“You son of a bitch!” She screamed at him with a hard slap against his face shocking the other two men in the room.

“You son of- You promised me you would save him over me! You promised me! You’re a liar, you’re a liar!” She screamed as her voice cracked. She only got that far, however, before Plutarch took the syringe that Katniss had initially brought in and injected her with the liquid inside, effectively knocking her out. Finnick had recently been convinced of the love Katniss had for Peeta throughout the games but hearing how she had made plans to save him despite knowing that would mean she would die gave him a newfound respect for the girl.

The rest of the ride to district thirteen was uneventful with the other tributes remaining unconscious. When Finnick made his way to thirteen he couldn’t help the way his eyes wandered over every detail of it. He was shocked to see how much the district had built while hidden away and he wondered if they would have ever shown themselves if it weren’t for the start of the rebellion. If he had known of this place maybe he could have convinced Mags and Annie to run away with him here, hidden away from the evils of the Capitol.

He was taken to the hospital to be looked over for any injuries that he had received during the games and his mind traveled back to Annie. Plutarch had explained to him that there had been other missions to extract any other victor to bring them to District thirteen knowing they would be targeted for what happened in the games. He had explained that they had sent soldiers to District 4 but they had yet to hear anything back and all he could hope for was for Annie’s safe return. He needed anything that could remind him of home, someone that made him feel safe and Annie had always had the specialty of making him instantly feel okay. He had at one point been deeply in love with the girl but as he was often pulled away on trips to the Capitol their relationship had gone nowhere but he thought that maybe now that they were both safe perhaps things could be different for them.

It was hours later when he had been startled awake by Plutarch, not even remembering falling asleep. He had a grave look on his face and Finnick’s heart immediately raced as he looked at the man standing in front of him.

“We just received word from one of the soldiers who were on the mission to district four. They-” he sighed before continuing “They were unsuccessful, it seemed the Capitol was quick on trying to get the victors as well and while our team had gotten there before the Capitol they were outnumbered and quickly overpowered. They got a hold of Annie. She was taken to the Capitol.”

Finnick felt as if all the air had been knocked out of his lungs. He stared at Plutarch as if he would tell him he was lying, that Annie was here and safe but he knew he would be getting none of that comfort. Finnick could find no words to say to the man and once Plutarch understood that he placed a hand on his shoulder and exited the room leaving Finnick with his thoughts. Finnick knew he probably looked pathetic in his hospital gown with tears running down his face as he looked at the spot Plutarch had occupied moments ago but he couldn’t shake the feeling of fear from his system.

How would Annie survive the Capitol? She had hardly survived what the game did to her and now she was subjected to the harsh punishments of the Capitol over the actions of others. He knew this rebellion would cause some people to fall under horrible circumstances but he had foolishly thought he could protect those he cared about from that fate. He should have told Annie before he left to just run away. Should have told her to go to a safe place and stay there until he came back to get her, she wouldn’t have listened, of course, would have been too scared to leave four when that was all she knew but maybe just maybe things could have been different. He sits and stares at the wall for a long time until the sleepiness overtakes him once again.

Finnick can hardly function his first week in district thirteen, often spending his time just tying knots and letting all his thoughts drown him until they surround him in a pool of darkness. When Katniss awakens she’s angry again and he feels he deserves it, he even welcomes it but eventually, even she can’t direct her anger towards him when she sees how broken he’s become. They talk often as their rooms are next to each other and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t help to be able to speak to someone who understood the pain of not being able to do anything, to help. Eventually, he ventures out of his room, on the other side of Katniss he finds Beetee’s room, he’s still unconscious. When he looks into the other room on the other side of his he finds Emily who has also yet to wake up, he tentatively steps into her room as if any noise he makes might jolt her awake. He walks up to her bed and then takes in her appearance. There’s a deep purple bruise on her forehead that he can only guess came from the blow Beetee gave her. She has a few other scratches and bruises but other than that she looks the same as the last time he saw her. He sweeps a piece of her hair out of her face and then leaves her room when he feels as if he’s trespassing on some vulnerable moment.

Although he tells himself that he shouldn’t be there he continuously goes back to her room while he stays in the hospital feeling an odd sense of calmness from her. He speaks to her about his worries, happy to be able to say everything without any fear of judgment for his regrets. He even sings the song she had sung to him back while in the arena thinking that maybe by some odd miracle, it would awaken her but it doesn’t. He doesn’t know why it makes him feel so uneasy to see her in such a state and it makes him feel no better to see her condition has not changed by the time he is discharged from the hospital. He tries to come back to the hospital again to visit her once he’s settled in district thirteen but Beetee always pulls him in for conversation in his room before he can get to her and eventually he gives up trying to, finding a good distraction in telling the man about what thirteen has to offer.

The next time he’ll see her is when Coin calls the meeting, and he’s shocked by her appearance. The last time he had seen her she had looked relatively healthy but looking at her now she looked tired and thin from the lack of food she couldn’t eat while she was unconscious. She looks incredibly uncomfortable with the attention given to her by Coin and he notices now how easy she is to read, her mask has slipped and although she tries to hold onto it, it’s clear she’s tired of hiding. The look she gives each person clearly shows what she’s thinking and it’s why he’s surprised when he sees guilt written all over her face when their eyes lock.

It only lasts a few seconds before she’s looking away and when she finishes surveying everyone in the room she never looks back at any of them, he doesn’t know why but it bothers him a lot. He knows Emily and himself didn’t leave things off on the right foot but he wishes she would react more, that she would speak to him about it but as always she’s a closed book. She only speaks once during the meeting, her voice sounding small and raspy and he cringes at how different it is from what he’s used to. Perhaps he wishes for Emily to be more like her usual self so things would feel normal but Finnick realizes that none of this is normal. It’s not normal to kill others for survival and it’s not normal for a war to be brewing right over their heads.

By the time the meeting is over his thoughts are once again revolving around Emily and he can’t help but look back in hopes that maybe she would seek him out, yell at him, tell him she’s angry at him for not telling her the whole plan but none of that occurs. He doesn’t even know why he wants to talk to her so much, it’s not like Emily and himself were ever friends, she made that clear with how easily she had turned on him but something about her brought him comfort and he knows it is selfish but he desperately wants to feel okay.

However when he turns back and sees Haymitch currently talking to her with his arm around her like they’ve always been good friends his mood deflates further. He doesn’t understand these emotions directed toward Emily, like why the image of Haymitch and her bothers him so much and how she didn’t even bother to yell at him. For a small second, he wonders if maybe he feels something more for the girl but he quickly pushes those thoughts away when images of Annie flood his mind.

Once they reach the cafeteria he sits with Katniss, Beetee, Effie, and Gale who have started to have their own conversation on wardrobe and the type of armor Katniss will be wearing. He pushes their conversation out of his mind as he starts to eat and speaks to Beetee about new weapons he’s been making, Finnick smiling upon hearing that Beetee has a trident for him. However, he’s dragged back into the conversation of the others when he hears them speak about Haymitch and Emily.

“Didn’t know they were such good friends” Gale speaks up, looking at the pair confusedly. The others follow his line of vision and see that Emily looks like she’s holding back a smile, something that causes them all to be further confused.

“Well, actually it’s quite obvious why they’re together…” Effie says, causing the others to turn to her for further explanation. She looks at all of them and then sighs.

“Dears, can’t you see it?” She raises an eyebrow but no one says anything causing her to roll her eyes and continue “We all know Emily has always been an outcast with the other victors for her lack of social skills. That’s why those two get along so well! Since Katniss here won’t speak to Haymitch I guess he feels his only other companion can be her. They both feel like they don't belong so why not stick together?”

Effie’s eyes roam back to the pair, everyone else following her movements and they see that the two hold none of their previous amusement on their faces. Instead, they seem extremely serious before they see Emily get up and walk out of the cafeteria, clearly bothered by the conversation she had shared with Haymitch “It seems however, Haymitch has never been good at making friends.” Effie sighs and goes back to her food looking at it with disgust.

The others let the conversation drop there, seeing that it wasn’t their place to comment on what they had just witnessed and eventually they fall back into their own conversations while Finnick’s thoughts stay on Emily.

Emily was completely different with her emotions now, you could so easily pick up on what she was feeling and he wonders if it was because they were both just so broken that he could recognize the signs of someone in pain.

He hates that everything is so different now, that no one acts the way he remembered except for maybe Beetee who has fallen back into making things with his brilliant mind. It makes it harder to distract himself when he can so easily see that everyone is dejected, sure they’re fighting for something better but they’re constantly losing things at the same time. He can’t help but feel that everything has gone further to shit and Annie not being there to make him feel sane makes it all worse.

How does Katniss deal with it? He looks over at the girl who is preoccupied talking to Effie about how she doesn’t want to wear makeup when she goes to eight and wonders how someone can have such a casual conversation when they hold the whole rebellion on their back. If Katniss could constantly get up and make a difference every day then he would have to do the same thing, it would do him no good to spiral when he needed to remain strong for Annie, needed to fight for her.

Yes it would take a long time and yes there would be days that felt hopeless but he knew that if there was any chance of them winning this then he would go through it all again if it meant he could finally have a life without fear.

Chapter Text

Emily had been given a few days to get adjusted in thirteen but even then she spent most of those days locked up in her room drawing. She never would’ve guessed that she would acquire that hobby but it was the only way for her to remember everything without having to search her mind for it.

She started by drawing the fields back in district 11, then she moved on to drawing the way her old home looked with its dark decaying wood and the weeds growing in the front lawn. She tried to get everything down on paper afraid that she would forget something and ever since Katniss came back from eight and they were shown the damage done there she was sure District 11 no longer looked like she once remembered. She wondered if her home in the victor's village was safe if the pictures of her family had been destroyed and turned into nothing more but pieces of forgotten paper.

She spent hours locked up in her room, even missing meals too caught up in trying to occupy her hands and mind. The day Gale knocked on her door and she slid it open to greet him he was surprised to see the way her room looked.

She had balls of paper piled up in her trash can and pencil shavings littering her desk. The walls were lined with drawings she had done, and many of them were amazing. There were images of places he didn’t recognize and people who were strangers to him. One photo that stood out to him however was one of a man with a cape, he stood with his hands on his hips in a stance that radiated power.

“What’s this?” He asked, pointing to the image. Emily had obviously not expected him to pay attention to any of the drawings for she stumbled on her words and a dusting of pink covered her cheeks.

“It’s uh, a superhero. It’s silly I know-” She said, starting to defend herself but Gale cut her off.

“They’re great, you should draw some pictures of Katniss like this. Maybe it’ll help to promote the rebellion more, get more people interested in joining. I can bring it up to President Coin.”

Emily stared at him with wide eyes, she had never actually intended on using this hobby for anyone else other than herself. She didn’t particularly think an image would really empower anyone to change their minds but before she could object to the idea Gale was talking again.

“Anyways, I've come to show you where you need to go every morning to get your schedule. President Coin feels that you’ve had enough time to settle in and we all have to do our part around here so the next few days will be you doing various jobs to see which you are most comfortable with.”

She just looked at him, not sure what to say. It’s not like she could say she wouldn’t work when Coin was letting her stay here but the idea of having to work with strangers she didn’t know didn’t sit well with her.

“I’ll lead the way then,” Gale said, turning around and walking out of her room. She sighed, why did people always expect her to follow them. She quickly put on her boots, tying them messily and chasing after Gale who was already making his way down the stairs. She glared at him as she came up to him but he merely smiled amusedly.

“Would it kill you to wait?” She snapped.

“I’m doing you a favor here.” She raised a brow “See I know you’re excited to get back to your drawings” She rolled her eyes “but it wouldn’t kill you to leave your room sometime.”

“I can do what I please with my free time,” she said defensively.

“Like missing meals?” She turned to look at him, shocked that he noticed.

He raised his eyebrow “What you didn’t really think no one would notice? Even Haymitch risked Katniss’ wrath to come to ask for you.”

Emily was bewildered. Why would they even care? She had hardly befriended any of them. She had yet to even speak to any of the other victors except for Haymitch. She had thought she was invisible to them, but it was harder to blend into the shadows here without all the Capitol citizens wearing their ridiculous outfits. Unfortunately, it was easier to be seen when all she wanted was to be forgotten. It made her slightly uncomfortable, Emily didn’t want people wondering about her, it made it seem like they cared for her and the last thing she wanted was for people to think she needed to be cared for. She had made it this far alone and now more than ever she felt that being alone was the safest option especially after the damage her previous actions had caused.

She ignored Gale’s comment completely and asked about something else as they made their way down another set of stairs, no longer able to use the elevators unless it was an emergency. “Are people allowed outside of thirteen?”

Gale, catching onto her change in subject let it go and answered her question “No if you are permitted outside it is through President Coin’s authority only.”

Emily frowned, she had missed the outside world incredibly and she was more upset when the last bit of nature she had seen was in the arena which she didn’t think she could count as authentic. She had found that although thirteen was a safe place to be in she felt more constricted than she ever had. Before she could at least decide what she wanted to do with her days with no worries that someone would yell at her for not getting out of bed in time. She felt like she was slowly losing her mind in thirteen, she had no one she felt safe within here, and being unfamiliar with the place only made her feel less inclined to travel around, afraid she might lose her way. She hadn’t even been back to the garden room from the first day Gale had shown her around because she couldn’t recall how many floors she needed to walk down and which hallways to take. All she wanted to do was be left alone in her little world but it seemed everyone was intent on not leaving her to do that.

Emily merely hummed to acknowledge she had heard him and the two continued on in silence, Emily trying to memorize the path she would have to travel the next day. Once they got to the hallway Gale explained that she would wait in the line and then place her arm under a machine that would print her schedule onto her forearm. Gale showed her his schedule as an example, explaining that the schedule would also tell her when lunch took place as well as half an hour for downtime with family which almost made Emily humorlessly laugh.

He also explained that at a later time in the day when all duties had been completed the tattoo would start to break up, making it easy to wash away so that it could be cleaned before they got their next schedule. Gale then showed her back to her room and Emily spent the rest of her afternoon with anxiety building up in her stomach at the thought of having to fall back into society. That night Emily barely got any sleep, waking up entirely too early but with no desire to get any more rest she decided to just get ready for her day. She repeatedly went over the path she took yesterday with Gale in her head, afraid that she somehow missed a hallway they turned down, or that she had completely missed a floor they passed. It was silly she knew to be so scared but it was new to her and she had only ever known district 11 as her home. She missed her home, where she knew where everything was with her eyes closed, where she knew exactly what steps would creak or how long it would take for the water to warm up when showering. All these new expectations also didn’t help, she just felt like it meant people were relying on her and she never liked that idea after she had failed with her dad.

A knock on her door tore her away from her thoughts and she got up to answer. Upon opening the door she was greeted by striking sea-green eyes and she unknowingly frowned at seeing Finnick.

Finnick’s smirk faltered for a second before he resumed his usual look “How’s the head?” He asked, knocking a finger against her forehead.

She swatted his finger away scowling at him “What are doing here?”

“Seems like Hawthorne thinks you might need some extra help getting around today so he’s asked me to be your tour guide.”

Emily was hating this day, even more, it was bad enough that she was anxious for her first workday but it was even worse that Finnick would be there to watch her mess up every single little thing. It also didn’t help that the last time she had spoken to him was when they were fighting each other. She had truly scared herself that day, she had been reluctant to back down from the fight thinking that perhaps in ending his life Joshua would finally be avenged. It was only now that she had more time to herself that she realized how dangerous those thoughts had been. Finnick’s death would never have brought back Joshua nor would it have satisfied any pain she had lingering from his death, it would just make her play right into Snow’s game, and knowing she had been so close to doing that made her feel sick.

“Okay well, instead of standing around we should get on with the day.” Emily snapped her eyes up to meet his, completely forgetting he was there and instantly the guilt flooded her when she looked into those eyes. She simply nodded, not trusting her voice at the moment, and stepped out of her room closing the door behind her.

Finnick took the lead, careful not to walk too far ahead while Emily lingered behind him as they followed the same path Gale and she had taken the previous day. They walked in silence for a while, Emily was never one to try and break it especially when her mind was so active with many different worries.

“How have you liked it here in 13?” Finnick asked, gaining Emily’s attention once again.

“I haven’t really been anywhere so I guess it’s been okay” Emily replied, unsure of how to communicate with Finnick.

“You’ll get used to it. Once you get out more and memorize everything it becomes a lot easier to navigate around here.”

Emily hummed in reply, not really keen on the idea of exploring the district the longer she stayed here. It all just made her feel more trapped the lower she went. She had at first found it fascinating seeing how they had survived so long here but as time went on it instead felt restricting and like a cage. As someone who had grown up around trees and nature, it was depressing to wake up to walls of concrete and the sounds of machines beeping around you.

As Finnick and her made their way down the hallway she saw multiple other people walking in the same direction and soon there was a huge crowd of people waiting in lines to get their schedules for the day. Finnick went in front of her showing her again how to place her arm under the scanner. She followed his lead and was startled a bit when the machine tattooed the schedule onto her, never having seen technology like it. When she went to stand next to Finnick they compared schedules and she took notice that their chores were the exact same all day. She was happy to see that she would be working at the hospital, it meant she could probably see Arabella. She hadn’t seen her since she had been let out of the hospital and she had to admit she missed the comfort the woman brought to her.

She followed after Finnick as he led the way to the cafeteria. She had never been in the cafeteria this early, usually only eating lunch or dinner, it felt weird for her to see just as many people in the cafeteria this early in the day. Once she got her food she started to make her way back to her usual table which was tucked away in a corner and far from anyone she might know. However, what she wasn’t expecting was for Finnick to grab her wrist and redirect her to an entirely new table. His hand like before was cold and she wondered yet again if it ever bothered him. As they got closer to the table she pulled her wrist back seeing that Beetee, Katniss, and Effie were all sitting at the table and slowed her pace, making Finnick stop in his tracks.

He sighed as he turned to look at her “You can’t keep running away from us.”

She turned her eyes to him “I’m not running.” She told him, however as she said it she knew it was a lie.

He raised an eyebrow at her “Yeah because spending all that time in your room is just for fun.”

She scoffed “What been missing me Odair?”

A smirk adorned his face “You wish my thoughts were filled with you.” Although he knew Emily somehow snuck her way into his mind more often than he would like to admit.

She wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Please, that would be a pathetic wish.”

He chuckled “And what would be a wish worthy of the great Ms. Greene”

She looked him in his eyes then and took a moment before saying “For there to never have been a hunger games” Finnick watched as her look turned more serious, for a split second he could see all the pain in her eyes again before she closed herself off and cleared her throat.

“We should eat.” She said, stepping around him and making her way over to the table as Finnick watched her from behind.

Finnick couldn’t help but wonder how different the world would have been if the hunger games never existed. He would never have gone through the things Snow had forced him to and perhaps Annie and he could have been happy together. He probably would have never known any of the other victors and surprisingly that made him feel sad. Sure he had at first not gotten along with Katniss but the more time they spent in 13 the more they became friends and Beetee, although sometimes he would say things that Finnick couldn’t process, they always had a good time together and Finnick was always fascinated with what he would create next. Haymitch had been a tough nut to crack but he knew he was always trying to protect Katniss and that was admirable to Finnick. Emily had always been a hard person to place, they had never really gotten along but the more time he had spent with her the more it felt like there would be something missing from his life if she wasn’t there. Under those circumstances, Emily would not hate him, they’d probably even get along.

“You just gonna stand there all day Finnick?” Katniss called out to him, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Already missing my presence Katniss?” He asked as he moved to sit next to Beetee and across from Emily who sat next to Katniss on her right and Effie on hers.

Katniss simply glanced at him unamused before turning and continuing her conversation with Emily again “You should talk to Gale about that.”

“Do you think he would actually help me?” Emily asked.

“I don’t see why not. You’re already trained in combat so he’d only have to train you to use a firearm.” Katniss replied.

“And after all, the district’s children are taught from a young age. I’m sure he’d have no problem teaching someone else.” Beetee added.

Finnick’s eyebrows rose in surprise “You want to learn how to shoot?”

Emily turned to look at him “No need to sound so surprised.”

“I just thought you’d stick to your knives.” He replied.

“Well seeing as I don’t really have any here I thought it would be best to learn with other weapons.”

“Well actually” Beetee replied “I made you some special knives when I made Katniss’ bow and Finnick’s trident”

Emily’s eyes widened in surprise “You made me something?”

“Well of course. If you have time later maybe you can stop by and see how you like them.” Beetee replied.

Emily smiled gently at him “Thank you Beetee.”

Finnick looked at her as she smiled and the way it lit up her face and he couldn’t help but smile a little at the sight. That was until his eyes traveled to the girl next to Emily and he saw Katniss looking directly at him with an eyebrow raised.

He cleared his throat and wiped the smile off of his face before going back to his food. He already knew Katniss was going to tease him about this later. They sat and finished their breakfast with small talk every now and then. Katniss spoke about how she missed hunting and Emily told her how she wished they could go out of the district sometime which sparked a conversation on what their favorite part of the woods was.

Katniss said it was all the animals she got to see while Emily said it was the smell of the earth. It made Finnick think back to his district and how he missed the sea the most. The salty smell and the sound of the waves crashing against the surface. Waking up to seagulls squawking in the morning, it makes him wonder how the district is doing today if they’re as much in this rebellion as he is. He hopes once this is all over he can see it again.

Chapter Text

Emily had been entirely surprised when Katniss had openly spoken to her when she had sat down at the table. She had expected her to scowl at her, ignore her, maybe even move as soon as she sat down but instead she had asked her how she was doing and if she was getting along alright in district 13.

The conversation eventually went to training as Emily had felt like she needed to do more to occupy her hands and mind and although drawing distracted her enough it also felt like she wasn’t working towards anything. It had come as another surprise when Beetee had told her he had made her weapons as well considering she had not spoken to the man since the arena.

She was able to let her guard down while talking to everyone, it felt as if she was finally safe to do so with Snow not watching all their moves.

It was odd to her, that they were all connected by something terrible, but this also made them want to fight more.

Emily had never thought that there would be a day where change would be visible with the system the Capitol had tried so hard to keep.

She believed that one day she would grow old, that she would do it alone, with no children no husband, no one that could get hurt, and yet here she was miles away from home helping a rebellion begin.

She wondered if this was how her mother felt if her need for a better world for Joshua and herself overpowered any consequence that could come from her actions. For the first time, Emily could understand the devotion to a cause, especially as she sat around the other victors.

As she sat there Emily thought back to what Gale had told her the day before with her drawings and considered if maybe she could also make some change, maybe even in doing so she could have more freedom around the district.

She ate slowly as she spoke to the others at the table and had barely even gotten halfway through her breakfast when Finnick was telling her they needed to go. They had deposited their dishes with the kitchen staff and he led the way to the stairs, making their way to the laundry room where she would be working that morning.

She tried to memorize the path as they walked down the stairs while also trying to control her breathing the deeper they got. It greatly bothered her how deep underground they were but she kept those thoughts to herself when she saw how everyone else had easily gotten over that.

It made her feel like a child afraid of the dark, because if anything she should’ve felt safer. There was no way the Capitol could get to her from how far underground she was, it was what distract thirteen was built for, and yet she couldn’t help but miss the breeze that came in through the windows or the sounds of birds chirping.

Finnick snapped her out of her thoughts, by bringing his hands up to wave them in front of her only stopping when he realized she was paying attention.

“Maybe this is why Gale thought you needed help.” He murmured earning a glare from the girl.

“Now is that any way to look at your tour guide?” He asked once he saw the look she was giving him but his comment only served to make her glare darken.

“Kidding kidding,” He said as he raised his hands in surrender, Emily replied by rolling her eyes.

“The laundry rooms get extremely warm, and it doesn’t help that you’re constantly moving around while in there. What I suggest if you do get put to work here is to drink lots of water in the morning and also don't zip up your jumpsuit all the way, just tie the top half around your waist. The thermal shirt underneath will still cause you to feel warm but it feels a lot better without the extra layer.” He finished as he started to do what he just said.

“Would I have to work here every day if I’m chosen?” Emily asked as she put her hair up with the same scrunchie Arabella had used to fix her hair when she was discharged from the hospital.

“Well no. You get days off of course, on those days you can either have free time, or sometimes Coin will ask you to help elsewhere if it's needed.” Emily nodded before another question popped into her mind.

“How many hours will I have to work?”

“It depends really. For this job you basically work all day, considering laundry is only done twice a week but it also means you get more days off. Of course, you also get breaks for lunch and dinner but it’s a tiring job.” He said shrugging as they turned a corner, the air getting warmer as they got closer to the laundry room.

The further down they went the more laundry baskets occupied the hall. Some were filled with dirty clothes that were piled up to the top while other people were putting folded clothes into empty baskets, ready to be taken back to their owners.

Finnick wasn’t lying about the warmth, it had made Emily instantly feel as if she was being given a warm hug but she knew that while working it would not feel so comfortable. Finnick led her into the room at the end of the hallway where there were about a dozen people running around doing things.

She saw two people putting clothes into what she believed were washers, she hadn’t seen one of those since she had been in the Capitol. Another two were putting wet clothes into dryers, there were tables in the middle of the room where 5 people sat folding clothes and labeling them to which rooms they would go back to. Another 3 people carried the clothes out and put them into the laundry baskets, filling them up all the way before one of them would take the basket away to deliver the clothes.

Emily noticed that once one of the people left to deliver clothes the people who filled up the machines would then take their place as they waited for the clothes to wash and dry effectively making use of all their time.

One man made his way up to them, giving them a friendly smile as Finnick explained what they were doing there. The man was a bit older than she was, with dark brown hair that fell to his shoulders and brown eyes that were even darker than his hair.

“Frank,” He said sticking out his hand to Emily “Nice to meet you.”

Emily took his hand, shaking it as she greeted him and told him her name.

“I’m actually glad we’ve got you two today. We’ve unfortunately been a bit slower with deliveries today and could really use the help.” He said as he led the way to a table he previously occupied. Emily’s eyes widened upon him saying they were going slower, she had thought they were moving incredibly fast and it made her nervous to know this wasn’t their fastest work.

“Okay, we’ll have one of you fold while the other delivers. Who wants what?” Frank asked the pair.

Emily looked at Finnick, panic evident in her eyes. Although she had been against the idea of him being with her all day she had admittedly felt more at ease that someone she knew was with her. Finnick gave her a gentle smile while patting her shoulder and then spoke to Frank.

“I’ll deliver.” He told him, misreading her panic as not knowing where everything was in district 13.

“Okay, Emily I’ll show you how to fold everything.” She nodded unsurely as she watched how he simply folded everything putting all the folded clothes in a neat pile at the end of the table before getting a marker and writing on a strip of tape the room number of where the clothes would be delivered.

Frank explained that every piece of clothing had their number stitched inside on the sleeves and that the people who delivered the clothes would put those clothes into a certain basket that had those particular room numbers. From there they would organize the clothes so that every person was getting 3 shirts, 2 jumpsuits, and 3 pairs of tights back. Each person was responsible for washing their undergarments themselves by hand in the sinks.

Once Frank explained all of that he had Emily do some practice runs, she was a bit slow because she kept forgetting which sleeve the numbers were on but after a little while, she started to get a hang of things. She was definitely not as fast as everyone else but by the time the hour and 30 minutes were up she and Finnick had finished one full delivery.

Emily had never been more glad to walk through district 13 and leave the heat of the laundry room behind.

Frank had been extremely understanding and nice but after a while, Emily had felt like she was suffocating. She hadn’t thought there was somewhere else in distinct 13 that was more unbearable to be at. She didn’t know how the workers did it.

“Well, how’d you enjoy it?” Finnick asked her as they reached the end of the hallway leading back to the stairs.

“I didn’t,” Emily replied causing Finnick to turn to her with a raised eyebrow.

“Always so chipper. You know you and Katniss are just the happiest duo,” Finnick said sarcastically.

Emily look at him unamused “Didn’t know being happy was a requirement.”

Finnick raised an eyebrow “Yeah well I doubt you even know what happiness is.”

Emily looked at him sharply, instantly getting defensive “I assure you Odair, I know what happiness is.”

“Really?” Finnick asked obviously trying to get a reaction out of her.

“Of course!” Emily said shaking her head.

“Okay, so when was the last time you felt it?” Finnick said turning away to hide his smile. It really was getting a lot easier to get under Emily’s skin.

They had made it off the stairwell and onto the floor to go to the kitchens for Emily’s 2nd job of the day.

Finnick kept walking forward but eventually stopped when Emily had yet to answer him only to realize she had stopped a few steps behind him.

The smile on his face started to fall, slowly being replaced by confusion as he made his way back to her.

“Emily?” He asked as he reached her.

Emily was deep in thought. When had she last felt happiness? She knew she had felt it, of course, she could remember laughing until her stomach was in stitches countless times with Joshua while he told her jokes. She could remember the feeling of it when Christmas came around and the house was filled with smells of her mother’s cooking along with her dad singing off-tune but when had been the last time the feeling came so easily to her.

She could remember feeling a sort of warmth and comfort upon her reunion with Mags but even then that moment was smothered down with emotions of anxiety with the games drawing nearer.

Emily drew her eyebrows together as she looked up at Finnick, “I can’t-” she whispered out while shaking her head.

She cleared her throat but failed to mask the emotion in her voice, “I can’t remember.”

“Emily…” Finnick replied slowly, reaching out to place a hand on her shoulder. However, the action seemed to snap Emily out of her own thought and she came rushing back to the present quickly shaking off Finick’s hand and clearing her throat.

“We really should be going. I don’t want to make a bad first impression,” she avoided his eyes as she said so and walked around Finnick, knowing her way to the cafeteria where the kitchens were located.

Finnick stood in the same spot Emily had left him, lowering his arm as he let out a sigh.

He had thought it would be easier to get a read on Emily now that she so easily let her mask fall but Finnick found that so much of what she was hiding was pain. He couldn’t even act like he understood because truthfully there was still so much he didn’t know about the girl.

She hardly spoke about herself or her life and the few times he had witnessed those emotions take over she seemed to age countless years, tired of the memories that plagued her head.

He turned and started to follow the same similar hallways as he made his way to the cafeteria.

Finnick could remember a simple time when his curiosity just got the best of him and he wished to know her secrets but once the games started that silly thought flew out of his head. Why had he tried to distract himself with things that hadn’t concerned him?

He had unknowingly sought Emily out as a distraction and continued to do so even when there were bigger matters at hand.

Why did he still want to know why her face crumpled in sadness when she thought of happiness? Why did he want to know what caused her heart to ache so much that she still cried about it to this day?

Finnick had once thought himself to be clever, the one with the power on his side but when it came to Emily he found that he could only easily fool those who didn’t know hardships.

The people in the Capitol could be swayed with a simple smile that had their stomachs fluttering with butterflies but the other victors knew not to be charmed by his antics.

They knew the games he played and in turn, he made sure to know theirs. Yet Emily had slipped through his fingers and he couldn’t help but wonder why he wished to be able to hold onto her.

But as he turned the corner and found her waiting outside the cafeteria doors, her brown eyes slowly catching onto his he seemed to understand a little better.

Emily wasn’t sure how the cooks managed to feed everyone every single day. The work she had put into making sure the measurements were right and that everything was weighed perfectly for certain dishes had stressed her out immensely.

She was sure she’d forget the simple measurements and accidentally ruin the whole batch. She thought she might have been better at the cooking part, considering she had done it at home but then again her meals were usually done with fewer ingredients and her dad wasn’t sober enough to criticize her skills.

Finnick had seemed to prosper here too and it annoyed Emily to see that he so easily got a hang of everything while she was barely keeping up.

It had made her want to get away from him faster, ever since he had asked that damn question earlier about happiness her mood had taken a turn for the worst.

She knew Finnick had been teasing her, trying to get a reaction out of her, and as usual, Emily wanted to prove him wrong except he hadn’t been so far off.

It had made her feel odd, for someone like Finnick to have been mostly right about her emotions. Her stomach had turned at the thought of the same person who had taken someone that made her so happy ask if she could feel such a thing.

Should she even be happy? She had asked herself later. What did she have to be happy about? Being alive certainly wasn’t a plus when the districts seemed about ready to go to war, nor did it seem like a thing to be happy about when she had to kill others in order to see another day.

There wasn’t time for happiness when she needed to prepare for war, she could have time for that when everything was said and done. That was if she survived to see this all through.

She internally rolled her eyes as she waited in line to grab a serving of the same food she had helped prepare. She was angry that Finnick had led her down this rabbit hole, even if his intention wasn’t to be serious, it still had its consequences.

She could see some of the other victors seated at the table they had eaten at that morning but Emily couldn’t slip her mask back on when she could hardly think straight.

Instead, she had gotten her food and made her way to the only victor who still ate in solitude.

“Seems like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed,” Haymitch said amusedly.

The glare she already wore hardened and had Haymitch putting his hands up in surrender, although the smile was still on his face.

“So why have you chosen to grace me with your presence?” Haymitch asked.

Emily raised an eyebrow as she stabbed into a small piece of chicken making Haymitch raise his eyebrows as well.

“Well, I thought you’d be the only one who wouldn’t ask questions.”

Haymitch gave a small nod in agreement “Well if I ever find where they keep the alcohol in this place then maybe we could drown our troubles together.”

“You always were much more enjoyable with one or two shots in you,” Emily said as she looked back up at him.

“Breaking my heart darling,” Emily could tell he took no offense to her comment by the small smile that he held on his face something she found herself doing as well.

She knew that once she was alone again she’d have her thoughts bombard her mind once again but for now as she ate lunch she could pretend that she and Haymitch were just regular people with no responsibilities.

Chapter Text

Finnick definitely noticed the shift in Emily’s attitude, she had spoken less to him when they had been working in the kitchens and it had become apparent when she had left to go eat with Haymitch.

He didn’t even know what he had done wrong, sure her attitude had changed after their talk about happiness but he wasn’t sure why she had pushed him away when he hadn’t meant harm.

He supposed there could be more hidden there but with the way Emily hardly ever spoke about her feelings he really didn’t know what to make about her attitude changing so fast. He had started to feel annoyed with it himself. Every time he thought they were getting somewhere there was something that pushed her back into her shell.

From what he knew she had always been like this to an extent, afterall she had been one of the few tributes that had managed to escape Snow’s hand rather early but he had thought that after the quarter quell she would understand they were not the enemy.

They were all on the same side and eventually Emily would have to let them in, as hard as that would be with all the years of hiding behind her it would be the only way for her to move forward.

They had just finished their job at the gardens, a place Emily seemed to have enjoyed a lot more compared to the laundry rooms and kitchens. They had passed the makeshift park in district 13 where they had patches of grass with trees and even living birds and Emily had obviously taken a liking to it.

Her eyes had been filled with wonder and she had let out a whistle which some of the birds had responded to. It had reminded Finnick of the talk he had overheard earlier that day between Katniss and herself. They spoke about the wilderness and the forest and from the longing that was evident in Emily’s eyes it was clear to see that she missed the outdoors.

He had never seen a forest, he grew up by the beach where the only trees around were the palm trees. He wondered if district 13 had an accurate representation of the outside world or if Emily was just so deprived of it that she took this experience as a gift.

However, despite her love for the outdoors her hand at cultivating had been a bit underwhelming. She had tried her hardest but it was clear that if she was chosen to work here she would need more training before being left on her own.

The pair was now on their way to the one place they both knew well, the hospital.

Emily had gotten better at knowing how to find the stairwell to go from floor to floor. She greatly missed the elevator but she knew that the walk throughout the district helped to keep her a bit distracted from the constant thoughts that plagued her mind.

She had been feeling nervous the whole way to the hospital, she hadn’t really understood why at first until they stepped into the main room.

She had been searching for something or someone and it came to her as a surprise when she had seen Arabella and felt relieved. It instantly shocked her and made her scrunch her eyebrows in thought.

This was dangerous territory, it was never a good sign to look for someone in a crowd, to wish to see them and hope they were okay. It was tittering on the line of caring for someone and Emily had not wanted that relationship with anyone.

She hardly even knew the woman, and yet here she was hoping to see her. Emily was not doing well keeping any of her promises to herself.

They walked over to the front desk and informed the woman working that they were here for a work shift. She had told them they’d have to change into a uniform first and then a nurse would tell them what to do next.

She wore a white turtleneck that went under a white and pale blue dress made from thin material. She then had to put on a pair of tights and finished preparing herself by putting her work boots back on.

It was definitely not something she was used to, she had seen a couple of the other nurses wearing the uniform and she assumed that if she worked here she too would be expected to wear this while on her shift.

When she had walked out of the women’s locker room Finnick was already waiting outside. His uniform also consisted of a white turtleneck but he wore a white robe that fully covered his torso and fell below his knees. Under that, he wore a pair of white pants and his work boots as well.

They both went back to the front desk where they waited for a nurse to come and get them. Emily wanted to say she was surprised when Arabella walked up to them but by the smile adorning her face, it seemed she had planned for this.

“Emily, it’s good to see you again. I hope you’ve been feeling well since the last time I saw you.” Arabella had politely told her before she turned and looked at the man standing next to her.

“Ah Finnick, it looks like you’re still looking after Emily even after her discharge,” Arabella said with a small smile.

Emily looked at Finnick with confusion written all over her face but Finnick wouldn’t look at her. In fact, his face seemed to be turning red and the smile he returned to Arabella seemed a bit strained.

“What do you mean?” Emily had asked as she turned to look back at Arabella in hopes of getting answers.

Arabella looked from Finnick to Emily “Dear didn’t Finnick tell you?”

“I’m afraid not,” Emily replied, getting more annoyed with being kept in the dark.

“He came to see you multiple times while you were in the hospital, I thought you two were-” Arabella’s voice died down as she saw the look Emily threw at Finnick and the way he seemed to look anywhere but the girl.

Arabella cleared her throat in order to end the awkwardness that had settled around them “Nevermind that, today we have some work to do so come along and follow me,” She turned around and led them further into the hospital.

Emily was definitely not over what Arabella had said. Finnick had come to see her? And apparently, enough times that Arabella had been able to recognize him. Why? When she had been in the hospital it had been right after the games where she had tried to kill the damn boy.

She didn’t know what to think of his actions and everything Finnick did was becoming extremely distracting. She never understood what he wanted. He had at first approached her with an attitude that had made her annoyed with him and then during the games she had seen a different part of him, where it was obvious he had not escaped the terror of Snow’s hand.

He had become her enemy in a matter of moments and had seen him beg for her to stop and yet he still spoke to her after she had woken up.

She wasn’t sure if Finnick was terribly confident in himself or extremely stupid when it came to judging someone’s character.

It was times like this when she missed the old days when the other tributes would blissfully ignore her and she could blend into the background. She missed catching snippets of conversation around her where no one expected her to contribute her opinion because to them she was nobody.

She couldn’t imagine how Katniss dealt with all the people constantly looking at her. The girl was just a child and so many people already depended on her.

Emily was taken out of her thoughts when Arabella started speaking to them as she led them into a room.

There were several cabinets with small bottles, some had liquid while others held pills. In the middle of the room, there was a metal table with devices Emily did not recognize.

“This is where we label our prescriptions. Today it’ll be easy work and I’ll have you label a few bottles so that you can recognize the types of medications, after that, I’ll have you administrate the correct medication to the patients.” Arabella then walked towards the table in the center of the room.

“This,” She said holding up a device in her hand, “Is a handheld printer.” The device had a small screen to input information with a keyboard and numbers below it where you would type it all out.

“You put this sticker paper in the carrier inside, type the information of the medication and for which patient, and then print and stick the labels to the bottles.” Arabella finished explaining as she showed them how the device worked.

Arabella had told Finnick and Emily to take a seat at the table while she gathered the pill bottles that were placed in a cabinet on the left side of the room. She then handed Emily the printer and pulled another one out for Finnick to use.

Arabella walked the two through the typing process and had them label bottles, correcting them if they wrote something wrong.

“We keep our medication locked so I’ll have to go get the key for that but I’ll be back momentarily,” Arabella said before leaving the room in search of the key.

There were a few beats of silence before Emily spoke, turning to look at Finnick “Why did you come to visit me?”

Finnick’s movements stopped at the question.

He stayed silent for a few moments, the question settling before he took a deep breath and let out an answer “I don’t know.”

Emily stared at the side of his face hard, she could see his ears turning slightly red and the pink on his cheeks was becoming more apparent but he didn’t dare to move and face her.

She shook her head and turned to look ahead of her, quietly speaking out “You shouldn’t have come and visited me.”

She could hear his movements as he turned to face her but now it was she who refused to meet his eyes.

“Why?” He sounded so confused and slightly offended.

“Because Finnick, there’s no reason for you to come to see if I’m alright.” She said bluntly.

A scoff left his mouth “You being hurt isn’t reason enough for someone to see if you’re okay?” He questioned the annoyance clear in his voice.

“You could’ve found that out by simply asking a nurse,” She countered.

“Why are you being like this?” Finnick asked, the anger being carried in his words. The question made Emily scrunch her eyebrows in confusion and turn to look at him.

“What?” She asked clearly not understanding why he had asked her that.

“Why are you constantly finding ways to push everyone away? You know sooner or later we’ll all have to work together if we want to beat this.”

“I’m not pushing people away-”

“Don’t. Please Greene you constantly avoided all of us, you never tried to have any sort of relationship with anyone and when anyone ever tries to talk to you you’re always so damn suspicious of their motives.” Finnick quickly said, cutting her off.

Emily's eyes turned cold and instantly she could feel the anger rising in her “Why are you so bent on trying to become my friend? Have you ever thought that maybe I don’t want to be friends with any of you? Just because we were in the games it doesn't make us the same!”

“That’s exactly what it makes us. We are the outsiders, the only ones who know what the Games do to a person and I’ve only ever tried to understand you. I’m not asking for a friendship but I’m asking you to stop and remember who the real enemy is here because it isn’t us.” Finnick replied his voice calming down as he spoke.

Emily paused in her movements a frown taking over her face as she rolled her hands into balls, her nails digging into her skin.

“Is that right?” Emily let out a bitter laugh, “The enemy is just as much in these walls as they are outside,” she looked him up and down as she said it striking a nerve with Finnick.

“That’s not fair Emily,” Finnick replied quietly.

Emily got up from her seat as she spoke “No Odair, what isn’t fair is that you want me to understand you when you killed my brother!”

“And you tried to kill me!” He yelled back, getting onto his feet as well.

He continued, “I could see it in your eyes, the anger and hatred. I know because I’ve felt those emotions towards myself countless times but it isn’t fair for you to hold my actions in the games above me when you know what the games do to a person.”

Finnick took a pause while running a hand through his hair and let out a sigh “I didn’t know it was him” He quietly said, the guilt enveloping his face “It had been dark and when my trap worked I killed them quickly, hoping it would be easier that way, it wasn’t. Once it was done and I saw who it was-” He shook his head before looking up into Emily’s eyes “He loved you so much and I truly am sorry for what happened.”

Emily looked back at him seeing the guilt in his eyes and knew he genuinely felt what he was saying. The emotion in her throat was so thick that no words could come out of her mouth despite wanting to say so much. Emily couldn’t handle her emotions and it soon felt overwhelming. Her breaths were getting faster and it was becoming too warm in her clothes.

Arabella had walked back in with a smile on her face “I’m sorry that took so long sweethearts.” However, the smile slowly came off her face when she looked at the other occupants of the room and saw the serious looks they both wore.

Finnick was looking down at Emily worriedly, as she had yet to say anything except stare at him with panic-written eyes. Arabella made her way closer to the duo and looked at Emily, noticing the sadness in her eyes, and placed a hand on the young girl's shoulder which seemed to shake her out of whatever trance she was in.

The weight of Arabella’s hand on Emily’s shoulder had her moving into action and she quickly pushed through Finnick and Arabella rushing to the exit.

Emily didn’t care if she looked crazy rushing down the hallways and stairwells, she just wanted to be alone. She ran and ran until her lungs burned and only when she found a small nook that was hidden from the view of people passing by did she stop and crawl in, collapsing onto the floor.

She could feel the tears start to pour down from her eyes as her breath became more uneven. Memories flickered across her closed eyelids of her past.

She pushed her hands over her ears trying to block out the voices in her memories as more tears left her eyes.

There was a blur of images that she tried to concentrate on. She saw Seeder and Chaff hugging her the day they heard the news of the Quarter Quell, her father smiling at her as he gave her a piggyback ride, she could see her brother’s face of excitement as he told her something new he learned, and lastly, she saw her mother.

Her mother with her beautiful dark hair and kind brown eyes looked down at her as she sang to her. The words slowly made their way into her head and calmed her down as she concentrated on the memory.

It was the same song she had sung to Finnick all those days ago back in the games. Her breathing evened out and the tears that had been trickling down her face slowly dried up. Her mind started to clear as she focused on where she was.

She opened her eyes, adjusting them to the dark hide-out she had been in, and took deep breaths to stop her shaking body. She was tired. There had been too many times she had let Finnick get to her but this time she knew it had been different.

He hadn’t meant to hurt her feelings in any way and she understood that but being called out on her actions had made her feel defensive.

She knew she was different from the other victors, she hadn’t been sucked into the life of the Capitol and it had in turn made her distant from the others. Her only friends had been Seeder and Chaff and she had been blunt and cold with them, something she now regretted.

She didn’t know how to change the way she acted when she had become so used to it. She didn’t realize the way she had been acting was counterproductive when it had always helped her in the past. She was used to being alone, used to waking up, and only having to look after herself.

It was hard to try and change that now, it was a routine she was used to and things had been changing too rapidly for her to keep up with them and adapt.

She wondered if she was too far over her head here. She had let the idea of hope let her get carried away with fantasies of things becoming easier but instead, she felt more trapped and confused than ever.

For the first time, Emily wondered if she could truly make it through this?

Chapter Text

Emily sat in the small alcove for what felt like hours letting all her thoughts run through her mind. Only when she started to feel her legs ache from the position she was sitting in did she decide to finally leave the spot she found.

As she crawled out she squinted her eyes at the brightness of the lights that were shining down at her. The hallway she had run down was empty and complete silence filled the air around her as she stood there. She looked around not remembering which way she had come from and mentally slapped herself for not paying more attention to her surroundings.

She wished that for once she had actually explored the district for now she stood there completely lost.

She debated with herself for a few minutes, going back and forth on which direction she most likely came from before she gave up and picked a random direction. She started walking not recognizing the halls she passed as they all looked the same to her. She took random turns and hoped that she would find a way to the staircase but after walking for twenty minutes, coming in contact with no other person and still not recognizing anything she stopped and stood in the middle of the hallway.

She sighed as she leaned against the wall, placing her head in her hand, and massaged her temple feeling a small headache coming on.

“You’re lost aren’t you?” A deep voice said startling her.

She looked up to see Gale standing a few feet away from her, how she hadn't heard him? She didn't know. He stood there looking at her with hidden concern that she didn’t quite catch onto.

Emily looked around and let a sigh out “Is it so obvious?” She asked.

Gale cocked his head to the side a humorous scoff left his mouth “Entirely. I heard you ran out on your duties today.”

Emily lifted an eyebrow “Well word does get around quickly doesn’t it.”

Gale looked at her for another moment before he let a sigh out, “Come on,” He said as he continued walking down the hallway.

She looked at him slightly confused but started following him for fear that she’d be stuck forever in those hallways if she didn’t.

“How did you find me?” Emily asked as she tried to memorize the hallways they took.

“Luck. Wasn’t actually planning on going to look for you but I was coming around to go talk to Beetee and here you were.” Gale replied. “You’ve got to get out around the district more or you’ll always need to rely on someone to show you the way,” he added after hearing no response.

Emily sighed, she knew he was right but it made her feel no better to be reprimanded by someone much younger than her.

“You can just show me to the stairs and I’ll be on my way and you can go back to Beetee," Emily told him so that she could run back to her room and be alone once more.

“Unfortunately it won’t be that easy. President Coin wanted to see you after hearing about you skipping out on duties. Since I found you I think it’s only fair to show you to her office.” Gale replied as they started to make their way to hallways she recognized.

“She wants to see me?” Emily asked, as her anxiety started to come back at the thought of meeting with the woman.

“That is what I said," Gale said.

Emily scowled at the boy but continued to follow him as they took several flights of stairs up.

She didn’t know what it was about Coin that had her hands sweating and her throat drying up but she supposed it had to be that the only other president she had ever heard of was Snow and he was an absolute nightmare.

She had only met the woman once before but their talk had been brief and she hardly felt uncomfortable due to all the other people in the room.

She wondered if the woman would be angry with her for abandoning the schedule that was set for her.

Would she be like Snow and expect some sort of repayment or would a punishment be issued because she failed to complete her orders? Emily hated this, she hated the way her hands shook and the way it was harder for her to walk straight as her legs became increasingly stiff, almost willing her to stop and run in the other direction.

In all her worry at trying to make sure her body stopped reacting by itself she failed to notice the way, Gale had been looking at her. His hand fell to her shoulder startling her and making him quickly retract his hand.

“Sorry I-” He took a deep breath in. He really didn’t know how to deal with things like this, sure he had understood Katniss’ needs and the way she would close off but he also had grown up with the girl. Emily however was somebody he was completely unfamiliar with and he didn’t exactly know how to comfort her if he even could.

“There’s nothing to be worried about, President Coin probably just wants to understand why you left without any word and practically disappeared. I’m sure she’s just concerned that you haven’t quite adapted to district 13.” Gale told her gently.

Emily’s eyes flickered down to the floor as she curled her hands into fists to stop them from shaking. She supposed Gale would know better than her, as he had already made some sort of life in 13 but still she felt apprehensive of Coin.

What if Gale was treated differently simply because of his closeness to Katniss? Sure Emily was a victor but President Coin didn’t necessarily need her in order to win this war.

Emily looked back up at Gale swallowing hard before nodding her head and looking forward once more. Gale hesitated, noticing the way her shoulders were still tense and the way her knuckles were turning pale from the force of her rolled fist.

What he said hadn’t worked in calming her down and he mentally scolded himself for not knowing how to handle these situations but decided that would have to be something he worked on later.

For now, he continued to lead the way until they reached a door.

He knocked twice, loud and clear until he heard President Coin’s familiar voice.

“You may enter.” Her muffled voice said.

Gale opened the door, signaling for Emily to go in first, she took tentative steps forward making President Coin look up from her work as she did so.

She could tell the woman was watching her closely her grey eyes calculating as she looked over Emily.

It was odd how cold her eyes seemed, even President Snow had some color in them despite the malicious glint always present in his stare.

The woman looked every bit the part of a President. She had sleek grey hair with not a hair out of place and the way she held herself with her shoulders back and chin held high showed Emily that she knew of the power she held.

Her eyes slowly left Emily’s face and landed on Gale who looked much more like a soldier now in her presence.

His back was as straight as a pin and he didn’t dare move a muscle as Coin’s eyes assessed him until she finally gave him a nod, telling him it was okay to speak.

“President Coin, sorry for the interruption but I found Ms. Greene while on my way to check on Beetee. I recalled you wanted to speak with her and I accompanied her to make sure she wouldn’t lose her way.”

Emily had to school her features as she listened to Gale, it made her feel greatly uncomfortable to see the change in him when he spoke to Coin. He sounded so robotic as he gave her the information on how he came across Emily but what made her feel more unsettled was that Gale so naturally fell into that role.

“Thank you, Gale. You can leave us now.”

Gale gave a nod before turning around and exiting the room.

When President Coin returned her eyes to Emily there was a shift in her attitude, a small smile appeared on her face as she looked at her and Emily was unsure if it was meant to be malicious or not.

“Please take a seat,” Coin said as she motioned to the chair in front of her desk.

Emily slowly made her way to the chair, letting out an internal sigh of being able to sit down. She was afraid that if she stayed on her feet she would become too nervous and eventually lose her balance.

Emily felt calmer now that the lower half of her body was hidden, this way she could hide her anxious tendencies while her face kept a neutral mask on.

When the silence was yet to be broken Emily finally spoke, “You wanted to speak to me?”

Emily was glad her voice sounded strong, even if her hands were shaking on her lap.

The smile on Coin’s face slowly melted into a look of concern as she looked at Emily making the girl feel uncomfortable.

“Yes, I heard that you didn’t show up for the rest of your duties and ran out on one of them.”

Emily was opening her mouth to speak but Coin stopped her by holding a hand up.

“I’m afraid, this is my fault. Although you were given some time to adapt while out of the medical bay, I didn’t give you any resources to help you understand our way of living in District 13.”

Emily was shocked, to say the least, though she didn’t let her face show it. She had expected Coin to tell her she would have to pack her bags if she didn’t get a handle on her responsibilities. Instead, the woman was apologizing, telling her this was her fault for not taking into account how different this would be for someone who had lived a life completely different from the one she was subjected to now.

“I’m giving you another week to get to know the district. I’ll have a talk with Gale to show you around the district in more detail but you’ll have to be willing to join him or this arrangement won’t help you.” As she spoke the worry in her eyes lessened and instead there was an unspoken command in her words. Emily would have to integrate herself into district thirteen’s society and could not allow herself to wallow in her room. She knew that Coin was giving her time but that meant that Emily had to actually make an effort with the opportunity she was being given.

Coin continued after a short pause, “After that week you will go back to complete the jobs given to you until a suitable one is found for you. I know this is different from the life you’re used to in distinct 11 but while you are here you will be expected to contribute to helping the district prosper while it houses you.”

Coin hadn’t said the words in a way where Emily felt she had to follow her orders, in fact, she had said it quite gently but Emily couldn’t help but feel that a threat was hidden under those words.

However, Emily knew better, she couldn’t go making enemies while living in the walls that housed her so, she did what anyone would do until they held the upper hand, she gave Coin a sweet smile and nodded along to her words. Promising that she would try her best, even if the lies made her tongue feel heavy.

When she left Coin’s office she was finally able to breathe easier but there was one thing Emily knew now, that Coin was not how she presented herself to be.

Perhaps for anyone who had never known the games President Snow used to play one would easily be caressed by the sweet words and gentle smiles Coin sent their way but to Emily, it all felt entirely calculated.

Every action and every word had a purpose behind them and she knew better than anyone that when it came to people in power, one could never blindly follow behind them.

She knew Coin was helping them, knew that Coin wouldn’t turn against them but Emily would not let her guard fall. And for some reason having the safety pulled from under her feet felt like a relief. It was familiar to her, a feeling she often had mingling in the back of her mind as she lived every day under Snow’s watchful eye.

She was used to living like this, used to making sure she moved all her pieces to the right spot so that her opponent could think they were winning, but one thing about her was that she had been taking notes and practicing for a long time and she was set on winning the game.

As she made her way back to her room, plans were taking root in her head and one of the first steps to get ahead was to do something she knew wouldn’t be easy.

She had to apologize to Finnick Odair. She knew it was something that she had to do whether she liked it or not because truthfully Finnick had only been understanding since they met.

She paused outside her room, looking across to the room opposite to her.

She could see movement in the room and she knew that it was better to just get it over with instead of letting it all settle. So, she left her room behind and made her way to the room across from her.

As she got closer her heart started to beat faster, the anxiety that had been ebbed away came back full force and she couldn’t help but pinch at the skin on her hand in order to focus on anything else other than the anxiety.

She had made it to his door but instead of raising her hand to knock, her body seemed stuck in its position.

She took a deep breath in, and then another one and another one, and still she didn’t feel herself calm down. She was ready to give up and just come back another time but as she thought that the door slid open revealing Finnick.

They both had wide eyes, clearly not expecting the other to be there despite the fact that Emily knew he had been in his room.

Emily was glad that often under pressure she was able to think clearly and the way Finnick was looking at her only made her want to get this over with and get out of there that much faster.

“I was wondering if we could talk?” She asked.

He scrunched his eyebrows but slowly nodded, moving to the side so she could come in.

When Emily walked in there was a familiar smell in the air of coconut and sandalwood and it quickly clicked into place that this was how Finnick often smelled.

It was nice and fresh, something that almost had her taking in another whiff before she caught herself and realized how odd that thought was. However, she quickly pushed that out of her mind when she heard the door shut behind her. She turned to face Finnick once more.

He cleared his throat as their eyes locked onto each other “What did you want to talk about?”

Emily took another breath in and immediately wished she hadn’t when the smells of coconut and sandalwood flooded her senses.

She slightly shook her head before speaking “I wanted to apologize.” She paused noting the look of surprise on his face.

“You were right, about the way I’ve been acting. It’s unfair of me to continuously distance myself when now more than ever we need to be united.”

There was another pause, she looked down at his shoes not being able to look him in the eyes as she spoke the next words “And you’re also right that it’s unfair to hold Joshua’s death over your head. The games…they’re made to turn us against one another and I know I can’t hold you to the decisions you made while trying to survive.”

Emily continued to look down but after a long moment she looked back up at Finnick’s face to see a genuine smile on his face.

“Thank you. I should also apologize, it wasn’t fair of me to try and dictate the decisions you make even if we are about to start a rebellion. Those choices should be up to you and you alone.”

Finnick finished with a sincere look on his face making Emily nod along.

“Thank you.”

Another pause as they stared at each other.

Then Finnick gave her a sneaky smile as he raised an eyebrow.

“So, does this mean you’ll start having meals with me?”

Emily raised an eyebrow “Don’t go thinking this makes us friends Odair.”

“Oh of course not Greene,” He replied but by the cocky look on his face, she could tell he didn’t agree with her at all.

Slowly the look melted off his face and he stuck his hand out to Emily.

She looked up at him but he simply gave her a look telling her he wasn’t going to retract his hand.

Emily lifted hers up, placing it in his.

As soon as their hands touched he shook them up and down a smile appearing on his face.

“To new beginnings Greene,” Finnick said.

Emily couldn’t help but roll her eyes at his optimism.

“To new beginnings Odair,” Emily repeated not even bothering to hide the small smile that made its way onto her lips as Finnick looked at her.

Chapter Text

Emily had never wished she had turned down a handshake more in her life. Since their apologies to each other Finnick seemed to think that it suddenly meant they were to be a part of each other’s lives.

The last few days Gale had shown her around the district Finnick would randomly tag along when his own duties were finished, adding his own commentary and jokes as they went along.

What annoyed Emily most however was that Gale seemed to like his company, in fact, the two would often start talking to each other leaving Emily to stay behind and listen to their bantering. It made her scowl to see how easily they had both managed to push her aside when the whole point of her being around Gale was so she could learn more.

On top of that, Finnick did in fact make her have meals with him. She had tried to wake up earlier than him in order to beat him to the cafeteria and not have him pester her but after two days of doing so, he caught on and started to drag her back to the table with the other victors.

It was a complete turnaround from what Emily was used to and she eventually told Finnick that she wanted to eat with Haymitch and not only with the other victors. Unfortunately he didn’t get the hint that she meant she wanted to eat with the man alone and Finnick tagged along to those meals too.

At least Haymitch remained his usual self with the both of them but it certainly didn’t make her feel any better when she saw Haymitch’s curious eyes directed at her when Finnick would follow after her.

Overall she could not shake the man from her life. She didn’t even fully understand why Finnick continuously sought her out when she was less than excited to be around him but one thing she found out quickly was that he was persistent.

She sighed as she looked at him right now. She had been going down to talk to Beetee after skipping out on seeing him a few days prior. However, she had barely got a word in before Finnick started chatting away with the man leaving her to awkwardly stand in her place as she looked around the room.

They were in a room where they could use the weapons that Beetee had made for them with multiple different targets scattered around them. Their weapons were on the table right next to them and Emily was becoming increasingly less patient as she looked down at the multiple daggers on the table.

She ran her fingers over the sharp blade, seeing how they shined under the bright light. She noticed that the handle to the daggers was in different colors, some were black, while others were red and yellow.

She picked one up that had a red handle. She studied it carefully taking note of how it weighed and what that meant for how hard she would have to throw it in order to strike a target. She knew that because these were on the smaller side and thinner they could fly easily through the air making them good for long-distance targets but they just wouldn’t do as much damage compared to if she was close to her target.

“Ahh I see they’ve piqued your interest already,” Beetee said as he and Finnick turned to her.

“That one you’re holding has a special use. When it hits a target it instantly heats up, making it unbearably hot, and burns the wound on the inside. It can be lethal depending on where they’re hit.” Beetee explained.

Emily raised an eyebrow “Well that’s certainly a gruesome way to go.”

Beetee smiled “The yellow one has an electric shock that activates when a target is hit, electrifying the body. The black ones are regular daggers.”

Emily slowly put down the dagger, “You’re absolutely brilliant Beetee. Terrifying but brilliant.”

Beetee smiled at the praise before pointing at a box on the table.

“That one is also for you.”

Emily tentatively reached out, slowly opening the box.

A gasp left her mouth as she looked at the beautiful sword inside.

The sword had a silver handle with a brown wrapping for easier grip, but the blade is what had Emily’s eyes widening.

There were engravings of vines down the blade, painted in a deep emerald green that stood out to her. She had never seen such a beautiful sword, the ones in the arena were always very standard and anything she had at home was made of wood that had been continuously sharpened down until it could actually cut through things.

Emily took a few steps back from the men as she swung the sword a few times a smile lighting up her face.

“It’s beautiful.” She said looking up to Beetee as she stopped swinging it through the air.

Her eyes then landed on Finnick, who had also been smiling as she took a few swings, a mischievous smile slowly took her face.

Finnick squinted his eyes “What are you thinking Greene?”

Her smile widened “Up for round two Odair?”

He raised his eyebrows looking from her playful smile to the sword that she held up.

“You want us to fight?” He asked.

“Glad to see your brain catches on quickly.”

Finnick looked at her unamused “As fun as that would be, I’m afraid it might damage your ego, Greene.”

Emily raised an eyebrow a laugh escaping her that made Finnick’s heart beat just a little bit faster.

“You think you’d win? Now Finnick I didn’t know we were telling jokes.”

Finnick narrowed his eyes at the girl, “You only got the jump the first time because I was distracted.”

Emily smiled “Keep telling yourself that Odair.”

Finnick stood taller, “Fine Greene, let’s have a go at it.”

Emily and Finnick turned to Beetee expectantly to which he only sighed before pointing to another area in the room.

“It’s a training section, you two can use it, just try not to cause any serious injury to the other,” Beetee said with an eyebrow raised knowing exactly how this ended last time.

“And no weapons!” He told the two as they started to move to the table and their respective weapon of choice.

They both deflated just the tiniest bit before they locked eyes and realized this would truly be more fun.

The two stepped onto the raised platform that looked almost like a small boxing ring, with padding on the floor. The two were wearing their jumpsuits still but they had both moved to unzipping the top part of it and tying it around their waist leaving them in their white thermal shirt.

They stood on opposite corners eyeing each other until Beetee told them to start.

It was a critical game for both of them, both wanting to prove the other wrong so instead of striking first they took their time to watch the other and how they moved.

Emily couldn’t help the smile that made its way onto her face. Finnick for the first time since their handshake was entirely quiet and focused, if she had known all she had to do was fight him to achieve that then she would’ve challenged him a while ago.

It was the fastest she had ever seen him move and if she wasn’t on the defense already she might’ve been thrown off by him but luckily she was able to dodge his attack.

The two continued on like that for a while, each trying to see a gap that would take the other down but each time the attempt was unsuccessful.

Eventually, Finnick threw a punch out and instead of making space between them, Emily chose to try and win this fight already.

She dodged the fist coming at her face but only moved a fraction to the right, she then did the same move she had done back in the games and took a hold of his fist, twisting his arm until his knees collapsed under him.

Quickly Emily took his arm and pushed it behind his back and then pushed him forward by pushing her knee into his back, making him fall to the floor with a groan. Her knee was planted directly on his back and making it difficult for him to move as she tried to pin him down.

However, Finnick wasn’t as easy to keep down this time and he managed to knock Emily off of him when he suddenly turned. As she stumbled off of him he wasted no time in pinning the girl down under him. Pinning her hands down on the side of her head, her legs trapped under the rest of his body.

She tried to free herself of his grip but the more she struggled the tighter his hold became. Eventually, Emily stopped fighting as she looked up at Finnick who was now giving her an odd look.

While Emily had been distracted by trying to escape Finnick had been far too captured by Emily.

She was breathing hard from all the fighting they had to do and sweat was glistening on her forehead and a warm feeling shot through Finnick that was only intensified when her eyes finally caught onto his.

Brown, one would think the color was boring or plain but whenever Finnick caught a glimpse of Emily’s eyes he always felt like he couldn’t get enough of the color.

He was close enough to feel the breath she was letting out of her mouth, Finnick not noticing he had subconsciously gotten closer to her.

“It seems Finnick is our winner!” Beetee called from afar.

Finnick instantly snapped out of his thoughts and released Emily as he got off of her.

Finnick turned to Emily to see she had a scowl on her face from her loss. He held out his hand to her making her turn to him.

“Good match?” He questioned unsurely.

The scowl briefly softened on her face, “Good match, but don’t think this means you’ve won. We’re just even now.”

She shook his hand but eyed him critically.

He rolled his eyes playfully as he retracted his arm and watched as Emily returned to her talk with Beetee about the weapons, testing a few of them out herself on the targets they had in the room.

As Finnick watched her a realization dawned on him, something that had slowly crept into his mind and hatched the idea in his head until he had no other choice but to accept it.

He let out a sigh, he was utterly fucked if he had somehow fallen for Emily Greene.

As much as Finnick tried to convince himself that he in no way had any feelings for Emily, other factors constantly reminded him that he in fact did feel something towards the girl.

Whenever their eyes caught onto each other he couldn’t help but feel his heart stutter and when she would smile at something someone else said he instantly felt a smile make its way to his face.

If the smile was directed at him he was a goner. His heart would speed up and he could feel that warmth spread through him as her eyes looked at him with amusement.

He hadn’t even realized it had happened, which was something that constantly kept him trying to rack his brain for the answer.

At first, he had gotten close to the girl intending to uncover her secrets but when they had to rely on each other in the games he had found that her presence had reassured him. In the district, she had practically been ignoring him since she had woken up which only served to make him utterly confused when he had managed to gain feelings.

Finnick was entirely out of sorts when he uncovered the information and it didn’t take long for Emily to catch onto his odd behavior.

They had been sitting in her room after they had come back from being with Gale. It was the first time he had actually been in there and his eyes kept going to all the drawings she had pinned on the walls.

Since they had arrived Finnick had yet to say a word and instead focused on anything else in the room as he bounced his leg and ran a hand through his hair.

“Is everything okay?” Emily asked him.

Finnick turned to look at her, a rare look of concern passing through her face and he faltered slightly.

“Yeah, just been tired from work you know?” He replied smoothly.

Emily nodded, not catching onto his lie, “It must be different from the work in district 4.”

He let out a laugh “For one, a lot of the work was done in water.”

Emily’s eyes lit up with interest “In the sea?”

He smiled recalling his home, with the usual nice breeze that always seemed to stick around.

“Yes, a lot of the people fished, or went searching for pearls, others who preferred to stay on land made furniture out of the palm tree wood and the leaves.”

“Do you miss it?” She asked softly.

The smile on Finnick's face slightly disappeared “All the time.”

He shook his head and then looked at Emily “What about you? What did people do in district 11?”

Emily caught on to his change in the subject but dismissed it “Well district 11 was huge, so jobs would vary based on where in the district you lived. We also had a beach but I didn’t live by it and only ever heard stories of how it looked. Most of the time we just tended to crops, making sure food was growing, although as you’ve seen I wasn’t the best at it.”

Finnick let out a laugh causing Emily to smile “My mom focused on doing that more but she wasn’t able to teach me much and dad was in charge of picking the fruit, getting it ready to be packaged so I learned from him instead.”

She took a pause as her eyes turned to the drawings on her wall “It was a beautiful district, the community was amazing, we always tried to work together to make life feel just a little bit easier.”

She turned to Finnick the smile on her face still present and then got up from the seat beside him.

“Come on Odair, we sit here any longer and we’ll miss dinner.”

Finnick got up stretching his legs “Don’t worry Greene no one will take away your plate of food.”

She scowled at him “I’m not worried about that. The line just gets too long!”

She shook her head letting out a sigh and started to walk away Finnick having no choice but to follow.

The longer he was around the girl the more sure and guilty he felt.

He couldn’t and shouldn’t have feelings for her, he had Annie, someone he truly cared about. Someone he was sure he could spend his entire life with. Annie understood him, she didn’t argue with him over small things or hate him after the games were over. They had bonded truly bonded and Finnick couldn’t give up on that. Especially not when she wasn’t there but stuck in the Capitol.

The very feelings in his stomach seemed to turn from butterflies to thick sludge, weighing him down and making him sick. He couldn’t hurt Annie in such a way, he was supposed to be hers and vice versa.

And yet, there stood Emily. Nothing like Annie who was kind and soft-spoken, who hated him from the first time she set eyes on him and who had no problem raising a weapon against him. The girl who had not smiled at his joke or batted an eyelash when he turned his charm on.

But god when those eyes landed on him or when her lips turned up into a smile and the dimples in her cheeks slowly took form. It was a feeling he had never quite remembered feeling before and despite the guilt that ate at him, he selfishly did not want that feeling to slip from his grasp.

Finnick was screwed the moment his eyes had landed on her at the welcome ceremony, the moment his lips had stopped her and his eyes had traveled her face as he tried to assess her. His thoughts wondered what secrets she hid only to find himself becoming more and more intrigued with who she was, noticing all the little things she did. It had led him to where he was at now with feelings he did not understand or know how to handle.

The only thing Finnick Odair was sure of was that his life was going to get a lot more complicated.

Chapter Text

Emily woke up with a start. Her heart was pounding and sweat was running down her back, making her shirt stick to her body.

She was tangled in her bed sheets, and slowly removed them with shaky hands. She sat on her bed, her breaths coming in fast as she tried to forget the images from her dream. Her eyes were forced shut as she ran her hands through her hair willing herself to calm down as tears sprang to her eyes.

It had started simply, she was back in her district, feeling calm for the first time in a while. She was sitting out in the fields, a light breeze blowing through the growing crops. The rain had started, lightly sprinkling the earth with water. Emily smiled and closed her eyes as she lifted her head up to the sky, relishing the drops falling onto her face.

She had sat there for a while, as the rain started to fall faster and that’s when the smell hit her.

Instantly it made a chill run down her spine and her eyes flew open as a gasp left her mouth. She looked around to see the ground was painted red. A strangled scream left her mouth as she quickly stood up, looking down at herself to see her clothes soaked with the same color.

Blood.

She knew it was blood from the way it stuck to her, the thickness in its flow, and the heaviness as it splattered around her. It was as if her dream had known she had caught on because the rain started to beat down on her faster, making puddles in the ground and slowly rising the longer she stood there.

She started to run as fast as she could, not caring that in her heavy steps she was sending blood flying everywhere, covering her shoes with the substance. She had somehow gotten to her home, quickly stepping in and locking the door behind her as the world outside was coated in a deep red.

She was breathing heavily, every breath filled with the stench of the blood slowly drying on her skin.

Her body was shaking, causing droplets on her clothes and hair to fall onto the floor creating a rhythmic sound as it splattered on the ground. A creaking from behind her had her immediately tensing up. Slowly she turned and what she saw caused her to push herself into the door.

Seeder and Chaff stood staring at her but they didn't look anything like they did when she had last seen them.

They were pale, eyes bloodshot and skin practically stuck to their bones. The clothes they wore were dirty and ripped, it looked as if someone had tried to tear it off their bodies. Scratches and bruises were on almost every part of exposed skin she could see. Tears instantly started to fall from her eyes at seeing their state.

“So you’ve finally come back?” Seeder asked, but her voice sounded wrong. It was too weak, too low, nothing like the calm strong voice she remembered. Emily didn’t say anything as she continued to stare at them, emotion thick in her throat and causing all her words to stop before they could find their way to her lips.

“We’ve been waiting, wondering when you’d return,” Chaff added as he cocked his head at her.

“Why?” Emily weakly whispered.

Seeder smiled, showing her teeth that were filed sharply, making her look sinister. Everything about her movements had Emily feeling more scared.

“To show our gratitude for what you did to us.”

Emily shook her head, “I don’t understand.”

“Oh Emily, you will,” Chaff explained.

They both started to take steps forward. Emily immediately pushed herself further into the door which caused them to smile.

They took another step forward and Emily wasted no time in turning around and turning the knob on the door to run back out, not caring about getting drenched from the rain but the door wouldn’t budge.

She pushed her body against it, turning around to see them getting closer but no matter how hard she crashed her body against the door it would not open.

She was trapped.

Her plan had failed her and they had reached her, grabbing at her arms as she tried to push them away, screams leaving her body as their nails dug deeply into her skin. For looking so thin they had incredible strength and she couldn’t escape their grasp.

“Stop! Please!” She begged but the only thing that met her pleas was their laughter echoing all around her as they watched her struggle, her eyes burning with tears from the pain.

Her own blood was starting to mix with the blood that had already stained her clothes, her screams getting louder as their fingers dug deeper into the wounds.

And then she had woken up her eyes wildly looking around as she assessed the room, making sure she was okay but as soon as she understood where she was the nightmare came rushing back. She looked over at the alarm clock on her desk seeing it was 4:24 a.m. She knew she wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep. Her thoughts would just refocus on what occurred in her dream.

She shook her head as she got up, her legs a bit unsteady as she put her weight on them. After a few deep breaths, she stood up straighter and ignored the heavy feeling of guilt that clung to her heart.

She got ready for the day, wiping her eyes as stray tears escaped when her emotions overwhelmed her. She left her room, going to the one place that had kept her hidden last time, she knew if she stayed in her room it was only a matter of time before someone came, and with Finnick taking such an interest in her, she knew he’d come searching for her.

She retraced her steps from all those days ago, this time remembering which way she came from. She looked from side to side as she reached the hallway making sure no one was around before she crawled into the alcove.

She went deep into the hole, allowing the darkness to be her cover as she drew her knees into herself.

She kept thinking over her dream, the words spoken to her and although she had not understood at the moment she certainly understood now. They blamed her for their deaths. Afterall she was the one who had left Chaff in the arena alone and she had been too obvious in her attempt to save Katniss, causing Seeder’s death.

She blamed herself too.

Too many people had gotten hurt or died from her hands. She had blood that covered them and painted her red, sinking into her skin, a sign that she was not innocent.

She hugged her body close, as she stared off into space, her mind filled with all the wrongdoings she did and how she had messed up. It was a long tedious process but Emily needed to remind herself, how she got here and who she hurt on the way so she could be more careful and learn from her mistakes. She repeated the list to herself after it was done and then when she memorized that she made sure to say it out loud, whispering it to herself so it was put into the world.

She sat there for hours, even after her legs began aching painfully and her back felt sore from the position she was crouched in. She let herself get lost in her own world, where she couldn’t hurt anyone. Her mind became numb to her emotions, they were the ones she usually had afterall. It was sad to admit but she was most comfortable when she was alone, it's how she had lived for months before she went back to the games.

So there she stayed as the day ticked by, not caring that her stomach grumbled protesting from her lack of food. She needed to keep herself isolated to feel just a little bit sane when she would have to join the world again.

Eventually, when the steps out in the hallway quieted down to absolute silence Emily willed herself to move, her legs stiff from the position they had stayed in for hours. She slowly crawled out, the lights making her squint as she started her trek back to her room. Gale would probably be angry, mad that he spent his morning waiting for her only for her to never appear. She wondered if the news would get back to Coin and if another meeting would be scheduled for her behavior.

The hallways around her were quiet, she passed a few people on her way and her only assumption on where everyone else was, was that lunch was most likely taking place.

She rounded another corner and crashed directly into someone.

“Oh gosh I’m sorry,” She quickly pushed out as she looked at the person, locking eyes with someone she was familiar with.

“It’s okay,” Katniss replied as her eyes passed over her face. For someone so young, Emily often felt like Katniss could read others very well.

“You weren’t at breakfast,” The young girl said.

Emily let out an awkward laugh, “Woke up late.”

Katniss nodded but it was clear from her face that she didn’t believe Emily’s words.

“Why aren’t you at lunch?” Emily asked trying to get the conversation away from her.

“Just wasn’t hungry,” She replied but Emily didn’t believe her.

The two stood staring at each other, almost as if the truth would slip out of their mouths if they did so hard enough but neither one backed down. As they stood there a small group of three girls passed by them, all looking incredibly excited to see Katniss as they whispered to one another and pointed at her. Immediately Katniss looked away, feeling awkward from the glances the girls threw at her.

“It gets tiring doesn’t it?” Emily asked her causing Katniss to look back at her.

Katniss nodded, a sigh leaving her mouth. Emily frowned, an idea popping into her mind.

“Are you busy right now?” She asked Katniss.

Katniss looked back at her with confusion as she answered, “No.”

Emily nodded, “Come on.”

She walked forward, turning back around after a few steps to see Katniss still looking at her oddly. She raised her eyebrows as if to tell her “Well?” Katniss looked around before her eyes landed back on Emily, her feet moving to follow her.

The walk was quiet as they went through the district, not bothering to speak to any people they happened to pass. With so few people in the halls, Emily had an easier time navigating her way around and they quickly arrived at the one room that had always seemed to make Emily feel better.

They entered the room with big trees surrounding them, and benches scattered around in the makeshift park as birds flew overhead. Emily took a seat on one of the benches, Katniss following her lead and sitting next to her. For a while the two sat in silence, only the sound of birds chirping and singing to occupy the silence.

Katniss suddenly turned to her “Can I ask you something?”

Emily looked back at her, seeing the thoughtful look on her face, and nodded, telling her she could.

Katniss looked down for a second before taking a breath and looking back into her eyes, “When we were in the arena why did you say I deserved to make it out?”

Emily cocked her head but she could see that Katniss was genuinely confused. Emily sat back in her seat and looked back out to the trees watching as a bird settled on a branch.

“Did you know I was Rue’s mentor?” She asked the girl, turning to see as she shook her head no.

“She was always so quiet when around others but when it was just Thresh and me, she would joke around and be the mischievous kid we knew her to be. She was incredibly smart and resourceful for her age and that’s what made it so much harder when I had to say goodbye before the games.”

Emily took a pause thinking about the young girl and her curly hair that always seemed to bounce when laughter left her lips, the type of laughter that always had her shoulders shaking along with her.

Emily shook her head before continuing, “The days ticked by and more people died, and still Rue was in. I had hope that maybe just maybe she could come out alive and then when she met you I was sure she could do it. You showed her kindness and you protected her when you didn’t need to. You could’ve left her to fend for herself, one less tribute to worry about but instead, you took her under your wing.”

She looked back at Katniss who was looking at her was a sad look, “I knew then you were different Katniss, and then when you came to district 11 for the tour," Emily shook her head, “I almost didn’t want to go, too caught up in my own guilt but I’m glad I did. Even if it didn’t end well, I’m glad I could hear you speak.”

Katniss cast her eyes down, “I just made things worse.”

Emily put a hand on her shoulder, “Katniss, all of it, did a great deal of progress. I know with the deaths, it feels more like a weight but I promise you that what you have started is something that’s been festering for a while. You’ve just made us all brave enough to take the opportunity and use it.”

Emily took a deep breath in as she looked away, “I’m the one who made things worse.”

She could see Katniss turn to her but Emily couldn’t look at her too afraid of what she would see once she spoke the next words, “I’m the reason Peeta was taken. If I hadn’t stopped Finnick then he could have gotten to him and taken his tracker out, but I ruined the plan. It’s all my fault.”

Emily continued to look down a frown pulling on her lips but then she felt Katniss place a hand on hers. She was certain the girl was going to push her off of her, and shout at her for being so stupid but when Katniss still didn’t move the hand off her shoulder Emily turned to look at her.

“It’s not your fault,” Katniss said quietly but confidently.

“Peeta, he would’ve found a way to leave with or without your help,” A forlorn smile appeared on Katniss’ face before she shook her head, “I don’t blame you.”

Emily swallowed down the emotion that was trying to build up in her throat, “He was looking out for you, even in the arena.”

Katniss nodded and whispered, “It’s what he and I do.”

Emily squeezed her shoulder once more, in what she hoped comforted the girl before they each let go of each other choosing to stare off at the birds around them and letting the silence take over once more.

They sat there until dinner came around, neither wanting to deal with the truth once they left the comfort of the room. They both knew what was said between them had changed something, they understood each other better now and though neither girl ever tried to show it, it was clear they were each blaming themselves for things that were out of their control. It had brought Emily’s thoughts back to what Finnick had said in their argument at the Hospital.

They all understood each other the most, the ones who had gone through the games had dealt with things no one else could ever fully understand. They couldn’t know the guilt that came with having to decide which friend you might have to kill next just so you could survive nor did anyone understand the enormous weight surviving put on one's shoulders.

Others would call it lucky, a miracle that they had been the ones to get out but it was clear to any of the victors in district 13 that none of them shared that sentiment. They all wished in some way or another that they could have done more to save those around them, to make sure they too had made it out. It didn’t feel lucky at all to survive, instead, it felt like a bigger burden had fallen on them to make it all mean something.

Eventually, Katniss and herself had started to make their way to the cafeteria despite neither really wanting to have to fall back into the routine they both knew they couldn’t hide away forever. Everything was changing now and each knew that in one way or another they each had a role to play in order to make sure that the war was won. The two walked into the already full cafeteria ignoring the raised eyebrows from the table the other victors, Gale, and Effie usually sat at.

As they waited in line Emily decided to bring in another hard topic, but one she knew Katniss needed to get over.

“I know it’s not my place to tell you how you should or shouldn’t do things but I think you should try to talk to Haymitch.”

Instantly Katniss’ face hardened and Emily spoke again before the girl could refuse, “Look I’m not saying to do it for him, but maybe you telling him that he fucked up to his face will make you feel better. There’s a lot I don’t understand but one thing I do know is that Haymitch will listen to you, and with his lack of alcohol maybe it’ll do him some good to have someone who will give things to him straight.”

Katniss looked behind Emily to where she assumed the man might be sitting but when the girl quickly looked away she turned to see Haymitch had already been looking at him and raised an eyebrow causing him to narrow his eyes in suspicion.

Katniss avoided giving her a direct response and instead answered her with a question, “How do you know I haven’t been talking to Haymitch, you haven’t been around much.”

Emily raised an eyebrow causing Katniss to wince as she realized how her words came out but she didn’t apologize for what she said.

“Well for one, he hardly sits with us when you’re around and two Finnick is a big gossiper.”

Katniss rolled her eyes, “Is that why he likes to know secrets.”

A reluctant smile made its way onto Emily’s face before she let her face become serious again, “Seriously Katniss, think about it. Maybe it’ll do you both some good to talk about what happened instead of just ignoring it.”

Katniss seemed reluctant to agree but slowly nodded her head, turning once again as the line moved up.

Emily knew it was hypocritical of her to give advice where she said to face the problem head-on when she knew she had trouble doing that until recently. However, she knew Katniss was different, she was younger, and being the face of the rebellion the girl needed all the support she could get although she was sure Katniss would never admit it, she knew Haymitch was someone Katniss valued. He had broken her trust and fed her lies in hopes of the escape plan working and Katniss had not deserved that but Emily knew that if Katniss had known about the whole thing then nothing would have worked.

She liked the girl but her acting skills were definitely something to improve on and she could never have sold President Snow on her being clueless about a hidden plan. Things would have unraveled before they even got to the second day of the games.

Emily took her mind off of what-ifs and picked up a plate of food, thanking the server before turning. Katniss and she had shared a look, knowing that this was when they would split ways. They each gave each other a nod as they went in separate directions, Katniss to the table with Gale and the others and Emily to the table where Haymitch was still eyeing her.

She set her tray down across from him and pretended to not notice his curious eyes as she surveyed her food, picking up a fork and bringing a potato to her mouth. This went on for several seconds until she heard a sigh from across her finally flickering her gaze up and refraining from letting a smile show on her face. Haymitch was now glaring at her, his arms crossed his chest and he almost resembled a small toddler throwing a tantrum.

He raised his eyebrows as if to say “Well?” but she simply shrugged going back to her food. Emily could practically feel his gaze burn into her as she pretended to not understand him and when he let another dramatic sigh out she couldn’t help the small smile that appeared on her face that only widened when she heard a scoff from the man across from her.

“What little game are you playing?” He finally asked.

Emily took a sip of her drink, schooling her face once more before settling her eyes back on Haymitch.

“You know Haymitch you shouldn’t be so suspicious of those around you, you’re paranoia is showing.”

He scowled, unamused, “What were you telling Katniss about me?”

Emily scrunched her eyebrows together in mock confusion, “About you?”

“Oh wipe that look off your face, you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

Emily smirked as she saw Haymitch become more impatient, “Oh you know just the basics.”

Emily's smirk grew at seeing his impatience grow at her answers.

“Greene.”

“Abernathy.”

He rolled his eyes at her.

“Oh fine, I just told her how much you’ve been whining about not being able to talk to her, you know soften her up so she might talk to you.”

Haymitch's cheeks grew pink as a look of embarrassment passed over his face before turning into a glare, “I have not been whining.”

Emily raised an eyebrow, “Could’ve fooled me.”

Haymitch let out a scoff, “God you’ve spent a day with her and suddenly you’re just like her.”

Emily smiled, “Thank you for the compliment.”

“That’s not what I mea-”

“Haymitch what’s got you so flustered?”

Emily’s smile widened as Finnick took the seat beside her making Haymitch turn a sharp glare at the boy.

Finnick raised his hands in mock surrender, making Haymitch shake his head and roll his eyes.

Emily turned to Finnick as if to tell him a secret but kept her voice loud so that Haymitch could hear, “Poor man doesn’t want to admit he misses Katniss.”

Finnick clicked his tongue, “He’s just as clueless as I feared.”

Emily shook her head in mock sadness, “Something that can’t be cured, unfortunately.”

They both turned to look at Haymitch who was thoroughly unamused with them. The rest of dinner seemed to go in a similar fashion, with banter flying easily between the three. Emily had felt like she had made progress that day, despite her horrible start in the morning. She knew it would take a lot more than just a few talks for her to finally feel the weight lift off her shoulders but she knew that she was taking the right steps forward. In a way, she even thanked her mind for giving her such a horrid dream if only to remind her of the mistakes she's made in the past.

It would be a long process but she would make sure to do right by those around her and Emily was prepared to do anything possible to achieve that.

Chapter Text

After her talk with Katniss, the girl had been more inclined to be around her which is why it only came as a small surprise when she invited Emily to go hunting with her and Gale, telling her that Coin had approved it.

At first, Emily had been shocked that Coin would even allow her to skip out on duties considering she had just started them once again but once she remembered how important Katniss was to the cause she realized saying no to the girl on fire was probably not the smartest choice. So Emily happily got ready that day, waking up early to make sure she gathered everything she needed for her day out.

To say Emily was excited was a huge understatement. She had missed the outdoors and had constantly wondered if she would ever leave the deep tunnels of District 13. She had followed behind Gale and Katniss as the former led them to the ground. Several flights of stairs later they had finally made it.

Gale pushed the door open, a gust of wind instantly swooping in and tousling the hair that sat on her shoulders. She took a deep breath in, her mind instantly thinking back to District 11 which only momentarily made her feel sick after remembering her dream from a few nights prior.

However, those thoughts quickly drifted out of her mind when Katniss moved up the stairs and outside causing sunlight to hit her face.

It was odd, the way Emily felt so emotional over something as simple as nature. She had grown up around it her whole life, constantly running into the woods to play tag with Joshua when life was simpler.

She followed along after Katniss, stepping onto the patchy grass that had long ago been stomped down from countless feet constantly taking the same path. For a moment they all stood there. Unlike Katniss and Gale, Emily had yet to see the outside world since she was rescued from the arena.

It made her want to cry.

A small gust of wind broke the moment and Gale was closing the door behind them and leading them further down the path.

“Now we've got to stay within the remains of District 13,” Gale stated.

He led them further down, the trio eventually reaching destroyed buildings that had been overrun by the greenery of the earth.

Emily let her mind wander and think about how the people of District 13 used to live before they were forced underground. She had gone to speak to Arabella again to apologize for her behavior and the woman and she had somehow started speaking about their lives after apologies were forgiven and forgotten.

Arabella had told her she used to have a daughter, she had always wanted to explore the outside world but the epidemic that district 13 went through took the young girl’s dream before she could ever act on it. Arabella had gone quiet after that, most likely reminiscing on the life she once shared with her daughter.

“Hey Emily, we’re going this way,” Katniss called out to her pulling Emily away from her thoughts. Emily looked up to see Katniss veering off the path into the woods most likely searching for animals.

Emily nodded her head and quickly followed behind the girl.

The trip was a welcomed change from her daily duties in the district and for the hour they were away Emily could almost forget there was a war happening, that was until they got back inside. Gale had split up from the two of them heading to talk to Beetee down in special weaponry.

Katniss and she had just stepped into the Cafeteria when both she and Katniss froze at the sound of a familiar voice.

Instantly Emily looked around wondering if she was just hearing things but as her eyes quickly searched around they landed on two things. One was Finnick alone in the cafeteria, cleaning the tables for dinner and the other was the t.v ahead of her, that Katniss had made her way to, catching the attention of the third occupant as Katniss put her bow down. Emily took tentative steps forward ignoring Finnick making his way to them and focusing on the boy on the t.v instead, coming to a stop next to Katniss as her eyes studied Peeta.

He looked as if his mind was somewhere else, not really focused on the interview as Caesar asked him questions. He had grown paler, the bags under his eyes noticeable with hues of pinks and purples making his eyes look sunken in. He was thinner too, she could see that the Capitol had tried to hide it, throwing more clothes on him to cover his skin but it was obvious to anyone paying close attention that something was incredibly wrong with Peeta.

“He’s changed so much already. What are they doing to him?” Katniss whispered out as her voice trembled. Guilt instantly settled into Emily’s stomach as she continued to study Peeta, knowing that even though Katniss did not blame her, Emily had played a part in his pain.

A lump grew in her throat as the interview went on. Peeta was looking down at a rose muttering about wanting to give it to Katniss.

“A sweet gesture for a girl who has inspired such violence.” There was a pause as Caesar looked at Peeta “You must love her very much to be able to forgive her. I don’t think that I could.”

“He’s shaking,” Katniss said, not bothering to pay any attention to Caesar.

“Unless of course Peeta, you think that perhaps she’s being forced,” Peeta looked up as the word passed Caesar’s lips, instantly a desperate look falling on his face as he waited for Caesar to finish, “to say things that she doesn’t even understand.”

There was a second of silence before Peeta spoke, softly “Yeah, yeah that’s exactly what I think.”

“Even his voice is different,” Katniss observed something Emily nodded her head to. Gone was his usual light way of speaking. Instead, his voice wavered and cracked, as he spoke his words in an eager rush.

“I doubt she knows what’s happening and what’s really at stake,” Peeta finished as his eyes started to water, making Emily grow more concerned.

“Now Peeta, I doubt that the rebels will ever let her see this, but if they do what would you say to her? To Katniss Everdeen, the once sweet Katniss Everdeen, what would you say to her?” Caesar finished dramatically, instantly making anger flare up in Emily at the way he was still treating this whole thing as some form of entertainment.

“I would-I would tell her to think for herself,” He paused as his eyes looked around the room, making him look nervous and scared. “Don’t be a fool Katniss, I know you never wanted the rebellion, the thing you did in the games was never intended to start all of this.”

As he spoke tears welled up in his eyes, some falling down his cheeks as he continued to speak. Emily chanced a look over to Katniss who had her eyebrows scrunched in concern and worry as she looked at the boy breaking in front of her, her eyes filling with tears.

“The rebels have made you into something that you’re not, something that could destroy all of us. So, if you have any power or any say in what they do or how they use you, please, please urge them to stop this war before it’s too late and ask yourself can you trust the people you’re working with? Do you know what they really want?”

Then the screen went black, for a split second she could see Katniss and her standing side by side as Finnick stood behind them, then the t.v lit up again, the seal of Panem showing up before it was over.

Finnick spoke from behind them drawing their attention as they turned around.

“We didn’t see it.”

Looks of confusion passed over both girls' faces as they looked at him.

“What?” Both girls said at the same time causing them to give each other a look before promptly looking back at Finnick.

“We didn’t see Peeta. The two of you left the cafeteria quickly wanting to change into other clothes.” There was a certain warning in his words that both of them could hear. He doesn’t trust Coin and the others and it seems Katniss doesn’t either when she nods her head and follows along with his plan.

It makes Emily think for the rest of the night, long after the three parted ways and as much as she tries to get it all out of her head she can’t help but feel nervous. What had Katniss and Finnick seen that had also made them distrustful of the people they were currently working with?

Peeta’s words make their way into her head, could she trust the people they were working with? The short and simple answer was no. Never had Emily felt like she could be comfortable around Coin. The one time Emily had spoken to her one-on-one she had questioned the woman's motives the entire time. Her words sounded like sweet lies as they made their way to her. Even with his obvious distress, Peeta had gotten one thing right, no one could be trusted.

The next day came with Emily keeping her ears and eyes out for anything out of the ordinary, she had an unnecessary fear that someone would approach her, tell her they knew everything, and then force her to speak to Coin to see what their next step would be but as the day passed and her chores were completed nothing of the sort happened. No one batted an eye towards her except Haymitch who had raised an eyebrow at her after she kept tapping her fingers on the cafeteria table as they ate.

After lunch, Katniss approaches her with Finnick behind her. Somehow she had gotten permission again to go out into the woods. Together the three of them made their way out into the woods, all of them feeling more relieved once out of the confines of District 13. The three sit side by side near a river, listening to the sounds of the rushing water as they settled themselves in.

“I haven’t heard one word about it. No one’s told you anything?” Finnick asked, aiming the question at Katniss.

Katniss shakes her head answering no.

Emily and Finnick look at each other each having the same question in mind.

“Not even Gale?” Emily eventually asks.

Katniss doesn’t answer but it’s clear from the expression on her face that she’s already made her mind up about something.

“Maybe he’s trying to find a time to tell you privately,” Finnick says, hoping to lift her spirits.

“Maybe,” She responds.

They stay silent for a while, then Katniss suggests she try to hunt for something. Emily and Finnick agree trailing behind the girl as she maneuvers them through the woods.

“Do you think he knows?” Finnick asks quietly, as they leave more space between the girl and themselves.

Emily stares at Katniss ahead before turning to Finnick, his eyes already focused on her.

“I don’t know, I hope not. For his sake.”

There’s a pause, silence seems to be making its way into her conversations lately.

“Why would they hide it from her?” Emily eventually asks.

Finnick looked to be thinking of the right words. As he does Emily looks him over, he still hadn’t brought up her disappearing the other day and she wondered when the curiosity would become too much for him.

His lips are moving and Emily has to snap herself out of her thoughts to hear him.

“I think they probably believe we’re all fragile. Seen too much from the games and the Capitol. My guess is that they think seeing Peeta in such a distraught state would make her act foolishly.”

Emily shook her head, “If there’s one thing I know about Katniss it’s that she can handle what life throws at her. She’s 17 and leading a rebellion, if they’ll put her under that pressure they have no right to decide what type of information is privy to her.”

Finnick let out a small laugh, the sound making a small smile appear on her lips.

The rest of the trip they all spoke about other things, stuff that had no connection to the war or 13. They were all aware that they were trying to speak about anything else than the things causing them the most worry but none of them commented about it as they spent the afternoon away.

It felt like things were starting to pick up, the hours kept ticking by faster than Emily was aware of and the reality of the war was finally crashing at her feet. She knew she had useful skills, some that could be helpful in combat but she had yet to be trained to use a gun, a form of defense 13 used a lot. It was why it came as a shock when Plutarch approached her, asking if she would accompany a small group to District 12 to film a propo.

“Katniss asked for you specifically,” He tells her.

Emily thinks she understands why. She doubts it’s because Katniss wants comfort in her ruined district, no she believes it’s because she has grown weary of the people surrounding her.

Emily nods her head, agreeing to go, and spends the rest of the day wondering if it was a good idea. The next day comes quickly and she meets the film crew that has been assigned to Katniss and Gale, the plan is to go throughout the District and speak about their experience, talk about memories in hopes of it spurring an emotional reaction from the districts.

Instantly Emily hates it. She’s wearing a black jumpsuit this time, armor covering her back and torso as well as he elbows and knees. She wears the same workboots from before but everything feels much bulkier. The team gave her a gun, she’s not sure she could properly use one but when she voices her concern they assure her that if she needed to she could easily handle it. The thought makes her feel worse about her decision for tagging along.

It’s clear being back here has its effects on Katniss and Gale, as soon as they land theirs a certain sadness that etches its way onto both of their faces but Emily soon understands it as she follows them through the rubble. Nothing stands anymore, most buildings are heaps of stones and bricks while others have nothing left behind. It looks almost as if a battle took place and in some ways it did, only Emily was sure it wasn’t a fair fight.

She feels angry all over again and she can’t help but wonder how Katniss and Gale are keeping their composure.

As they continue it’s clear to Emily that something happened between Katniss and Gale, the two barely spare a glance at each other and don’t even walk together. Instead, Katniss and she walk side by side at the end of the group as they go through the district to find places to film.

She feels sick the longer she listens to Cressida, the director, and her lack of empathy as she continues to try and get emotions out of Gale and Katniss. By the time the trip to twelve is over she’s tired and desperately wants to leave, something Katniss seems to agree on when the two of them quickly leave once they’re dismissed.

Once she changes into other clothes she lays in her bed and constantly thinks back to the images of 12. She doesn’t know how much time passes but she can feel the soreness in her bones when she’s forced to move as a knock sounds at her door.

She gets up wiping at her eyes as she feels the remains of tears on her cheeks, when she opens her door Finnick stands there giving her a small smile. She says nothing but moves to the side to offer him passage into her room.

She leads them to her bed where they sit side by side.

“Are you okay? I didn’t see you or Katniss at dinner.” He explains. She can see him looking at her from the corner of her eye but she keeps her gaze locked on the wall across from her.

She drops her head in her hands “It’s horrible Finnick.”

She misses how his cheeks slightly reddened at the sound of his name coming from her lips.

“I knew the Capitol spared no expense when proving its power but-” Her breath caught as a lump grew in her throat.

A warm hand was gently pulling at the hand she held against her face, forcing her to look up to Finnick. After he pulled her hand away he didn’t let go and instead looked worriedly at her.

“He won’t stop until he destroys everything,” She finished, a tremble filling her voice.

Finnick tightened his hold on her hand “He won’t get the chance to.”

“The reason Snow keeps retaliating so much is that he’s desperate to keep his power. He knows he’s vulnerable right now, and he knows that he can lose,” Finnick continued when he saw the doubtful look on Emily’s face.

“So many innocent people are dying,” Emily whispered, her tiredness making her unable to hide her emotions.

“I know, but if we win this, all of it will mean something. Those deaths will not be in vain, don’t give the Capitol that control.”

Emily listened to his words, letting them sink in. He was right, the minute she started to give them power over her fear she was already letting them win, letting their false idea of power drive her away. Emily tightened her grip on his hand as her sadness washed away and understanding settled.

He tells her about his day afterward, Emily asked him in hopes that it would take her mind off the images of 12 and eventually she drifts off to sleep as his voice fills her room. No nightmares came that night despite the things she saw that day. In fact, she’s sleeping quite well until a knock at her door wakes her up.

Instantly she pushes herself up, a groan from beside her making her jump. She turns to see Finnick next to her, the two of them had been sitting side by side but it was clear that Finnick too had drifted off to sleep from the way he was rubbing his eyes with his hand.

A blush covers her face as she notices his other arm is settled around her shoulders and she quickly brushes it off and stands, turning away from Finnick before he can see her face.

She answers the door to see Gale on the other side and the flush on her face goes from one of embarrassment to one of anger.

The confusion on his face soon turns to one of understanding but he brushes it off as a sigh leaves his mouth. It’s bad enough to have Katniss mad at him but now he’s got Emily looking at him like she could murder him right in the hallway.

“Coin’s called a meeting,” He tells her.

Emily nods and starts to pull her shoes on as Finnick walks to the door causing Gale to raise both of his eyebrows.

“Finnick?”

“Gale,” he replies.

“What are you doing here?” Gale asks him, wondering if there’s something more going on between the two victors.

“I can’t visit my friends?” Finnick asks as he throws an arm around Emily as she rejoins the two, making a faint blush color her cheeks that only Gale notices.

“Of course,” he says but it's clear he doesn’t believe that that’s all that was happening which only makes Emily glare as her whole face starts to turn a bright red.

“Well Coin requested both of you so this makes my job easier, come on,” Gale tells them after he glances at a device that starts to beep.

Finnick and Emily step out of her room and she turns to close the door before they follow after Gale.

On their way, Finnick falls into step beside her and whispers into her ear so only she can hear.

“You know, red looks good on you,” he pokes at her cheek before walking away and falling into step with Gale not even noticing the look of pure horror on Emily’s face as she places her hands on her face to get rid of the red splotches that cover her cheeks.

When they entered the room, others are already seated around the table at the center. It is the same people from when she looked at Katniss’ first propo video. Beetee sits on one end, an empty seat next to him, and then Coin in the middle. Next to her sits Plutarch and then three empty seats, then Gale and Haymitch.

Emily is still upset with Finnick and simply glares at him as she leaves an empty seat between them and sits next to Plutarch while he sits next to Gale, all he does is send her a small smirk back. She could strangle him right then and there if there weren’t so many people in the room. She looks away from him and to the front of the room where the screens are showing Capitol news, she wonders briefly if they’ve already composed the video of District 12 but it seems ridiculous to call them all in just to show them a propo.

Her attention drifts away from the screens when the door opens again revealing Katniss and Boggs, Katniss takes the seat between herself and Finnick while Boggs sits next to Beetee.

“What’s going on?” Katniss questions “Aren’t we seeing the 12 propos?”

“Possibly. I don’t know exactly what footage Beetee plans to use,” Plutarch says from beside Emily making her scrunch her eyebrows in confusion.

“Beetee thinks he’s found a way to break into the feed nationwide, meaning the Capitol will see it too. He’s heading down to Special Defense to work on it after he briefs Coin.”

Emily raises an eyebrow at Finnick’s answer, how the hell did he find that all out? The only answer she can come up with is that he asked Gale or he eavesdropped on the conversation across the room.

After a few more moments Beetee leaves and the rest of the room talks in hushed voices to one another, the minutes tick by and her nerves are starting to catch up with her. However, before she can get too into her own head the seal of Panem appears on the t.v and the room falls into silence as they stare at the monitor.

President Snow is there today, greeting Panem. For the first time in her life, Emily is not afraid when she looks at the man and she wonders when that change took place. Perhaps it was seeing how he did not show mercy to those who opposed him or maybe it had festered long ago when she was taken back into the games but she welcomed the change.

Her anger was much more powerful and she knew it would be more useful to her. The screen eventually switched from Snow to Peeta and the anger Emily had felt quickly dissipated as worry took over.

He looked terrified and the unfocused look on his face seemed to have intensified from the last time she had seen him. Sweat was noticeable on his face and Emily was surprised his suit wasn’t drenched. The makeup he wore took away the deep bags that she had seen last time but even without that small detail he still looked worse than the last time she had seen him.

As if echoing her thoughts Katniss spoke “He’s worse.”

Emily looked over at the girl and placed a hand on her knee, noticing that Finnick took hold of her hand and held it. Briefly, Emily wondered if that’s how Finnick usually tended to try and comfort people but quickly pushed the thought away as she focused once again on the screen.

Peeta started to speak, going down the same path of speaking as he had done last time. It all felt very wrong, the way his tone became frustrated as he listed out all the things the rebels were doing as if they were in the wrong. His speech however was cut off by a loud sound of static before Katniss appeared on t.v standing in the rubble of the Bakery that used to belong to Peeta’s parents.

“He did it! Beetee broke in!” Plutarch yelled out as he stood to his feet, the whole room save for four people breaking into excited and hopeful chatter.

However, it's clear that the Capitol is trying to keep Beetee out from the small clips he inserts every now and then. It cuts to a clip of Finnick talking about Rue then cuts back to Peeta who keeps trying to continue with his speech but Beetee is relentless. Clips scatter throughout the broadcast, she even catches one of herself that she hadn’t known was recorded.

She was by the lake in Katniss’ District. Katniss had told them about the Mockingjays that lived in the trees surrounding the lake and curiously Emily had whistled, the same whistle Rue had shown katniss in the first games, the birds carrying the tune as it echoed throughout the open space.

The grip she had on Katniss’ knee tightened, making her turn to look at the girl and then down to Finnick, neither of them shared the excitement of the room as they tried to keep their faces blank. Emily looked past them catching Haymitch’s eyes to see the same look on his face and her lips tugged down into a small frown as she looked back to the television.

The Capitol had taken control once again and Peeta was continuing his speech, giving some final words to Katniss.

“Katniss, how do you think this will end? What will be left? No one is safe. Not here in the Capitol. Not in the districts. And you in Thirteen…” Peeta took a pause as if debating what to say next before he took a deep breath and let the next words out with force “Dead by morning!”

Emily held her breath, feeling Katniss still next to her as his words rang out through the now quiet room. Snow had told the team to end the broadcast but even as he ordered them to stop the camera kept rolling, falling to the ground to show the white tiles but the audio was crystal clear to those listening.

There were sounds of feet rushing on set, as sounds of flesh against flesh sounded, Peeta’s sounds of pain echoing throughout the room as blood splattered on the white tiles in front of the camera.

The room is suddenly loud again, very loud as everyone questions what’s going on and what Peeta’s words meant but all Emily could do is turn her head to look at Katniss who is staring resolutely at the screen ahead of them where Peeta is still being beaten.

“Katniss?” Emily whispers but the girl continues to stare ahead, even after the program was cut off and replaced by static.

She ignores the others in the room, even once they start to converse civilly about what to think about his message. However, even those that don’t trust Peeta seem to come to the same conclusion, District 13 is under attack.

Chapter Text

Everything happened quickly after that. Coin issued a drill, a level five security drill, something she doesn’t remember if she was ever briefed about when learning about district 13. Boggs takes over and guides Finnick, Katniss, and herself out of command and down to the lower levels where they soon reach the throng of people also making the commute down.

The blaring sounds of the sirens caused panic to stir in Emily’s stomach and she’s glad for once for the way District 13 operates when she sees all the calm faces of the people making their way down the stairs. As they all make their way down, none of them speak, the sirens drowning out any words that might’ve left their mouths.

At one point Finnick grabs onto her hand so she doesn’t get lost in the crowd of people and she easily links their fingers together grateful for once that he’s around.

The lower they go into district 13 the more her chest restricts, and her breathing increasingly becomes erratic. She thought District 13 had felt suffocating before but now it all feels like a heavy weight has been placed on her that only increases the more steps she takes. She never liked crowds either and being trapped in a sea of people makes her feel uncomfortable.

Finnick squeezes her hand, making her turn to him and snap out of her thoughts. His eyes ask if she’s okay and all she can manage is a stiff nod as she turns forward again, letting herself be pulled along by him. When they finally reach the bunker at the bottom they have to scan their schedules to make sure they’ve been accounted for before they’re able to walk in.

Once they do Emily notices how much 13 has prepared for, there are bunks scattered around the room, a kitchen located in one corner, bathrooms, and a first-aid station. Katniss splits from them upon getting into the bunker no doubt on the lookout for her mother and sister. Emily looks at her as she leaves but her stare is broken when she’s being pulled forward only to see Finnick has started walking again. She realizes their hands are still interlocked and notices that's something they've been doing quite often. The thought immediately makes her roll her eyes because it makes no sense to her that her mind would wander there with everything else going on around them.

She tries to focus on anything else and not on the way his thumb brushes over her knuckles in a soothing way. She looks around seeing others starting to filter into the bunker, everyone seems to talk in hushed voices and to her ears, it almost sounds like rustling leaves.

Finnick and she get to a cot quickly and they sit down, pulling their hands away from each other. There are instructions on what to do next. They need to each go get a pack that will contain supplies for their stay. They have to go alone to retrieve their things, not wanting their cots to get taken away while they’re gone.

Finnick goes first, Emily still a bit too shaken to start walking again. When he’s gone her thoughts wander back to Peeta. Broken Peeta.

She can still hear his pain even long after they have left the office and Emily wonders if the guilt in her stomach will ever go away. She blinked rapidly willing for the tears to stay at bay and is glad when Finnick returns so that she can distract herself with the walk around the bunker.

As she’s walking she’s pushed aside and is about to call out to the person who pushed her when she realizes it’s Katniss. Confusion takes over her face until she realizes that she’s in a panic, her mother following along with the same expression on her face.

It only takes a second for Emily to switch directions and follow along after the two, having to increase her speed to a jog to catch up to them.

The closer she gets to the two the more worried she becomes when she starts to hear Katniss’ mother's frantic voice telling the guards not to close the gate as Katniss potions herself between the small crack of the large door to stop it from closing.

Emily strides forward joining Katniss and pushing herself next to the girl to force the guards to open the door further.

Katniss doesn’t even seem to notice her as she calls out to the space on the other side.

“Prim! Prim!” She yells making the puzzle pieces fall into place as Emily remembers their worried faces. Prim has not yet made it to the bunker.

“They’re coming!” Yells Katniss causing Emily to turn to the guards.

“Open the door further!” The guards glare at her but listen and open the door a few more inches just in time for Emily to pull back and see Katniss drag Prim inside a look of anger crossing her face.

“You went back for the cat? What were you thinking?” Her voice calls out as she looks at her sister with a stern look before grabbing her and embracing her in a tight hug, the cat squashed between them.

Emily looks behind the pair spotting Gale and her previous anger at him diminishes when she realizes the man risked his own safety to make sure Prim was okay. She nods to him a gesture which he returns.

“Thank you,” a soft voice says from beside her. She turns to see a kind smile on Mrs. Everdeen’s face. This is the first time Emily has ever spoken to the woman and all she can think of is how different Katniss seems from her. Where Katniss is hard eyes and a neutral expression Mrs. Everdeen has bright eyes and a softness that surrounds her, something she realizes Prim takes after.

“Of course,” Emily tries to offer the same smile back to her but as the adrenaline wears off of the small incident she finds herself tired. After another moment of looking at Katniss, she bids Mrs. Everdeen a goodbye and makes her way back to the line to retrieve her pack. It goes by slowly, most of the people now murmuring about what they had just witnessed Katniss do, she even finds people looking over at her and she keeps her focus on the back of the woman’s head in front of her for the rest of the time she's waiting.

When she finally gets back to the cots Finnick looks her over.

“What?” She says defensively as she sits down and takes the bed across from him that was left unoccupied.

He raises an eyebrow “Well you left almost 30 minutes ago and I’m sure the line wasn’t that long.

Emily rolls her eyes “Keeping tabs on me now Odair?”

Finnick scoffs “I think I have a right to be concerned when an attack is incoming.”

Emily narrows her eyes as she starts to look through the supplies she retrieved and ignores his statement altogether.

Only a few moments of awkward silence pass between the two before Coin’s voice echoes throughout the bunker. She thanks everyone for the calm and collected way they held themselves getting to the bunker and then explains that this is not a drill, an explosion of a bomb from above proving her point.

Emily immediately closes her eyes and clutches the bag on her lap as the shaking makes its way all the way down to the bunker. It becomes even darker and Emily peeks through her eyes to see that the lights have gone out, a hand reaches out for her before she feels a dip in the bed beside her and the scent of sandalwood fills her nose. She immediately knows it's Finnick.

If it were any other time she might kick him off her bed, and tell him he needs to stop reaching out for her but she’s scared and alone and Finnick seems to need her comfort as much as she needs his so she holds her tongue and pushes herself further into his side.

Light flickers on overhead and eventually the whole bunker is lit up by a soft orange glow, reminding her of the gas lamps they had back in District 11. She thinks of late nights staring out into the street watching the fire dance around until it lulls her to sleep and for a moment she’s comforted again but then the sounds people are making reach her ears and she knows she’s not home.

Some people scream after the impact, some of the children cry out and some shocked people let out nervous laughter but all Emily can focus on is the warmth that Finnick is giving off next to her, making her feel grounded as her hands begin to shake.

Things continue like this for the next three days, there's a scatter of missiles along those long hours, and every time Finnick finds his way beside Emily. Mostly they stay quiet as the days stretch on, Finnick takes to tying his knots and Emily is able to find a pencil and some paper and draws the hours away, hoping for some relief in the distraction.

Emily tires of drawing quickly and eventually focuses on Finnick and his knot tying. He expertly moves his fingers around the rope and lets it intertwine with another part of the rope. He asks if she wants to give it a try and she quickly agrees wanting to do something with her anxious hands.

It takes her far too long to learn, her shaking hands not at all helping her along the way but her struggle lightens the mood between them and they both find themselves chuckling at her disastrous attempts.

On the third day, she lays in her bed, hoping to get some sleep after her restless night the two days before. She has her eye closed and is turned away from Finnick in hopes that sleep will eventually take her away but even as she lays there for 40 minutes her brain will not rest.

It’s because of this that she hears when someone approaches Finnick and sits beside him.

Emily quickly concludes it’s Katniss and she tries hard to keep her false image of sleeping as she listens to their conversation. Katniss has finally understood how Snow is using Peeta against her. Torturing him because he knows it is what will leave Katniss feeling restless and guilty when she cannot save him.

There’s a pause before Katniss voices her next thought.

“This is what they’re doing with Annie, isn’t it?”

Annie, she remembers her. The other victor from Finnick’s district. The mention of her leaves guilt swimming in her stomach mixing with her anxiety and she can’t understand why those feelings suddenly overwhelm her.

Finnick’s voice finally makes an appearance and Emily realizes that she’s anticipating his answer, wondering what significance Annie is to him. She can conclude certain things for herself, Finnick had heard her during the games, he had been completely distraught after the jabberjay incident and if the Capitol had taken her it meant Annie was more important to Finnick than she knew. The thought made Emily feel as if she had been dunked into cold water.

“Well, they didn’t arrest her because they thought she’d be a wealth of rebel information. They know I’d never have risked telling her anything like that. For her own protection.”

Emily is intrigued by his thoughts on Annie but also doesn’t want to hear anymore, a feeling of dread welling up in her that leaves her more confused. Why was she having these reactions? She had never even interacted with Annie to leave her so worried for the girl. Emily concluded that it was because Finnick had become her friend along the way and she simply worried for him.

“Oh, Finnick. I’m so sorry,” Katniss replies.

There’s another pause “No, I’m sorry that I didn’t warm you somehow.”

Before Katniss can say anything he speaks again “It’s just that I didn’t understand when I met you. After the first games, I thought the whole romance was an act on your part. We all expected you’d continue that strategy. But it wasn’t until Peeta hit the force field and nearly died that I-” He stops suddenly and Emily can’t help the annoyance that bubbles in her.

“That you what?” Katniss asks and she’s grateful the girl plows forward.

“That I knew I misjudged you. That you do love him. I’m not saying in what way. Maybe you don’t know yourself. But anyone paying attention could see how much you care about him.”

Another silence follows his statement, one in which she’s sure Katniss is mulling over his words. It was true afterall, even if Katniss did not want to admit it. Throughout the games and then the way she acted after hearing about Peeta in the Capitol made it clear that she cared about the boy.

“How do you bear it?” Katniss eventually asked him.

“I don’t Katniss.” And the admission shocks Emily because he always looks okay, always looks like he has no troubles on his shoulders. “I drag myself out of nightmares each morning and find there’s little relief in waking.”

Emily can’t see the way his eyes very quickly flicker over to her when he speaks about relief but Katniss catches it. Questions sit on the tip of Katniss' tongue but she realizes that now is not the time to talk about it.

“Better not to give in to it. It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart. The more you distract yourself, the better.” The sentence instantly has Emily’s heart plummeting to her stomach.

A distraction.

She knew it shouldn’t have bothered her so much, in fact, she didn’t even understand why it did but the illogical part of her brain was winning over the logical part and soon she was filled with anger.

Is that what she was to Finnick? A distraction so he could forget the hardships of war. Did he tease her and squirm his way into her life just so he could have something new to keep him occupied? She had to work extra hard to keep her breathing even despite wanting to throw the blanket off herself and walk across the room where she would be furthest from Finnick.

“First thing tomorrow, we’ll get you your own rope. Until then, take mine.” The conversation was over after that. Katniss retrieved back to her own bed with Finnick’s rope as he lay back down in his cot.

It took another hour of Emily faking her sleep before she opened her eyes and looked over to his form to see that he had his eyes closed. Emily clenched her jaw as she stared at his form a pang of sadness hit her as she remembered his words and she quickly had to look away.

Emily spends the rest of her time in the bunker faking sleep so she can ignore Finnick. It’s childish and she knows but she doesn’t trust her emotions and she can’t speak to him about it when she wasn’t even meant to listen to the conversation so she lets the thoughts stew in her head. Let’s herself welcome the silence of the bunker and rethink every interaction she's had with Finnick since arriving at 13 and wonders if the whole thing had just been entertainment for him.

After another day passes Coin makes an announcement. They’re free to leave the bunker but they are to report to a new living space after their old quarters were destroyed. She packs her things quietly, busying herself with making sure she’s got everything, and starts to leave before Finnick can catch up to her. However, it seems she can’t easily escape him or the others as Boggs calls out to her, already having Gale, Finnick, and Katniss behind him.

She bites her cheek hard, perhaps even drawing blood to keep the curses in her mouth that threaten to spill out. But she follows behind silently, not looking at anyone for fear that they might take it as an invitation to speak to her. They’re pushed into a room where others that she hadn’t seen throughout the last 3 days are sitting.

Coin, Plutarch, Haymitch, Cressida, and the rest of the film crew sit there looking exhausted. The only other thing Emily notices is the coffee sitting in front of them.

“We need all of you suited up and aboveground. You have two hours to get footage showing the damage from the bombing, establish that thirteen’s military unit remains not only functional but dominant, and, most importantly, that the Mockingjay is still alive. Any questions?” Coin says, not bothering with any pleasantries.

“Can we have a coffee?” Finnick asks, releasing some of the tension in the room. They’re allowed some of the steaming beverage. As soon as she has her cup she stands away from Katniss and Finnick who are still talking to one another in the center of the room.

“You’ve looked better,” a voice says from beside her.

She shoots a glare at Haymitch “So have you, what’s your point?”

Haymitch raises his hands up in surrender “Someone is cranky today.”

“Yes being confined to a cave will do that to someone Abernathy,” She snaps back.

Haymitch raises an eyebrow “Resulting to the last name? You really are pissed.”

Emily rolls her eyes not bothering with an answer as she’s ushered away to be prepared for the propos.

She wears the same black jumpsuit and armor that she wore when she went to district 12, the only difference now is that the makeup team fixes her hair and adds light makeup to her face so that she’s camera ready.

Her hair is pulled into two dutch braids, some curls left out to frame her face. She is shown her face in the mirror briefly and Emily is almost transfixed by how much the makeup helps her look more alive.

On the way up to the surface, she drinks her coffee, not bothering to put anything into it. She was never a fan of black coffee but the bitterness seems more fitting at the moment.

The journey up is a quiet one and even after her sour mood with him earlier, Emily decides to stay beside Haymitch along the way. When they finally make it outside Emily takes a deep breath in, letting the air calm her nerves. They walk for a while coming upon their first crater where rubble sits everywhere. The multiple bombs have destroyed the top floors of 13.

They make their way to the ruined justice building of District 13, one that had often been shown during the hunger games video to show the districts what happens when one falls out of line. They ask Katniss to go first but it’s clear she’s not okay, especially not after she’s seen the roses Snow has dropped for her. She tries to get through her lines but fails and quickly breaks down into sobs.

The whole ordeal has Emily feeling guilty and she clenches her jaw and pushes her nails into her hands to avoid herself from moving forward and running to embrace the girl. They may have comforted each other once but it was obvious that right now Katniss needed someone more familiar. Haymitch leaves her side and quickly hugs Katniss who clutches onto him.

However, she’s not the only one who becomes a mess. A glance to her left shows Finnick kneeling down on the rocks as he tries to keep his breathing steady but it’s clear to her that nothing is helping his panic. She wants to move forward and comfort him but all she can do is stare as Gale goes to his side instead.

Katniss is still sobbing from her where she sits next to Haymitch and it’s only when Emily hears her exclaim it’s all her fault that she’s moving.

She steps around the rubble quickly heading to Boggs who turns his worried expression away from the other two victors and onto her.

“We need to do something,” She tells him determinedly. Not looking away from his eyes so he understands she won’t back down.

He looks at someone behind her and holds his hand up. She turns to see one of the guards with a syringe in his hand and her eyes widen as she looks around him to see both Katniss and Finnick have been sedated.

“I agree. I’m calling a meeting with President Coin now,” Boggs tells her and then orders part of the team to get Katniss and Finnick to the hospital while the rest follow after him.

Plutarch, Gale, Boggs, Haymitch, Cressida, the rest of the film crew, and other guards sit in the room surrounding Coin. It doesn’t take long for them to make a plan. They have to get the victors out of the Capitol, it’s the only way Katniss and Finnick will continue doing propos without worrying Peeta or Annie will be punished. Plutarch suggests a rescue team, and Boggs is charged with leading the team. Gale volunteers immediately, she sees Haymitch try to do the same but Boggs ignores his hand.

It doesn’t even require her to think about it before she’s shooting her own hand in the air. Coin and Plutarch look surprised but she ignores their gaze as she looks directly at Boggs. He looks her over for a moment and she knows he’s trying to find something. Apparently, he finds it because he nods at her and she joins Gale behind Boggs as he continues his search.

She catches Haymitch's eye from the crowd, his hand had returned to his side after realizing he wouldn’t be able to go. He looks surprised, but then the look turns to worry and then something she was all too familiar with, fear.

Chapter Text

Finnick wakes up with a startle, falling out of his bed and onto the floor, making a groan slip from his lips as he gets up. He looks up seeing that he’s back in the hospital and confusion clouds his head.

The screen around his bed is opened and Katniss comes in, she looks worried and scared, and instantly Finnick knows something has happened. They both settle down on his bed and Katniss begins to explain to him.

“They’re getting them all out. Plutarch has sent a rescue team, volunteer only,” she tells him.

Relief fills him and the words stumble out of his lips “Don’t you see Katniss, this will decide things. One way or the other. By the end of the day, they’ll either be dead or with us. It’s more than we could hope for.”

He knew it sounded cynical, to wish that Annie was dead but he couldn’t help but wish that fate to her throughout his stay at district 13. It was the only way he knew she wasn’t suffering, the suffering she was going through simply because she was connected to him. Selfishly he wanted her to be gone so that she could rest but also so he wouldn’t have to face her and come to terms with the conflicting feelings he had been having since he arrived at 13. It was a coward’s way out but still, he couldn’t help but wonder how much easier it would have made everything.

Katniss didn’t seem to have her spirits raised with the information.

“There’s more Finnick.”

The relief that had previously filled him was instantly stomped out as he watched her face contour into guilt.

“What is it Katniss?”

“The volunteers,” she took a pause as her gray eyes locked onto his, “Emily volunteered.”

Finnick blinked at her, his head going blank as he processed the information.

He looked back at her, his eyebrows furrowing “I-I don't understand-”

The look she gave him made the question die on his lips. He meant to ask why she was telling him that information, and why she was looking at him with sorrow.

“I know Finnick, I know.”

That was all she had said, making Finnick look away as a lump got caught in his throat. It seemed Katniss wasn’t the only one with two people on the line tonight.

The anxiety clawed its way up, leaving him shaking and pushing out quick breaths. Katniss was quick to console him before he could fully lose himself, grabbing onto his hand and offering him a piece of rope that he quickly took to knotting.

They only have a few more moments to themselves when the screen around his bed is being moved to the side and Haymitch is staring at the two. He tells them about the new plan so that they can keep busy. They’ll need to shoot footage from the bombing on 13.

“If we can get it in the next few hours, Beetee can air it leading up to the rescue, and maybe keep the Capitol’s attentions elsewhere.” Katniss and he readily agree, too restless to sit and wait until they get more news.

They’re prepped for the cameras and for the first time Finnick feels like they’re going too slow. Katniss is scheduled to go on first, but he can tell her words don’t exactly hit the mark, and while she’s talking he’s pulled aside by Plutarch, Haymitch being called to join the conversation as well.

“I think it’s obvious Katniss is still shaken up by the events from earlier today. We’ll need something more captivating to keep an audience enthralled if we plan on making this work.” Plutarch gives them both a meaningful look and instantly they both understand.

He wants them to tell their stories about their experience with the Capitol, more importantly with President Snow. A glance at Haymitch automatically tells him that he won't go for it and for a moment Finnick wants to do the same, telling him to find those stories elsewhere. But then brown eyes flash in his mind and small laughs shared on a bunker bed echo through his head and he realizes that this is the only way he can make sure she gets back to him.

So when Katniss finishes he takes her seat, his hands feeling clammy and his heart beating quickly but as soon as the cameras start rolling and he starts to speak it feels like a weight being lifted from his body.

“President Snow used to…sell me…my body, that is. I wasn’t the only one. If a victor is considered desirable, the president gives them as a reward or allows people to buy them for an exorbitant amount of money. If you refuse, he kills someone you love. So you do it.”

He explains what his clients would reward him with, jewels and money but eventually, Finnick found no value in them and asked for some other type of payment. Secrets.

He spoke about all the secrets that were spoken about between his clients and him, some uttered in between sheets and labored breaths and he finds he can’t stop once he’s started. The weight is lifted off his shoulders as he lets the scandals drop from his lips.

He talks about affairs, greed, betrayals, and power plays but he doesn’t stop there. He names the people these secrets were spoken about and spills the truths effortlessly accompanied by their crime. Incest, back-stabbing, blackmail, or arson. Some were so horrible he was surprised they were even able to cover them up in the first place. He finds it empowering.

Never during the whole experience did he ever feel like he was winning or helping by stacking up the secrets like notches on a belt. Never did he think that something would be broadcasted to the nation as others eagerly listened to the words that left his lips. It was then after years of self-hate and forced sexual encounters that he realized he had held the cards, and he knew he would be winning this game.

When the last name fell from his lips he knew that everyone anticipated what came next, President Snow and his own baggage of secrets.

“And now, on to our good President Coriolanus Snow. Such a young man when he rose to power. Such a clever one to keep it. How, you must ask yourself, did he do it? One word. That’s all you really need to know. Poison.”

He goes forward describing his incline toward power. The way he was chosen as a mentor in the first hunger games and the way he managed to find a place back in the Capitol even after being forced into being a peacekeeper. Then when he had a foot in the door he made sure to never let anyone question his power and continuously kept it. His political adversaries fell ill or dropped dead until they weren’t a problem anymore, even some of his allies met the same fate.

But President Snow always seemed to cover it up, never allowing himself to be questioned by making sure to drink from the same cup, however, the antidotes didn’t always work and sores litter his mouth. To keep the scent of blood at bay he wore his roses, the scent overpowering any other smell that tried to break free.

He tells the stories in detail, making sure to be precise so that those who are listening can’t help but question Snow and his true motives. And then it’s over, and the crew is quick to retreat so that they can compose a video in time for Beetee to release it to the Capitol.

Plutarch pulls him aside but Finnick can barely concentrate on what he has to say as his mind wanders to the information he’s told and if it’ll be enough.

Everything after that seems to drag on slowly. Katniss and he stick side by side the rest of the day trying to do anything and everything to keep them occupied and distracted. They tie knots for hours and when that gets tedious they try to eat but neither can think straight nor keep a bite of food down with the anxiety constantly turning their stomachs.

After lunch they go to the shooting range, they make a game out of it and see who can get the most points. Katniss wins which doesn’t surprise either but Finnick isn’t far behind her score and soon the hours have slipped by and the two are making their way to Beetee’s workstation, watching him as he prepares to interfere with the Capitol broadcast. The room is lined with screens and computers and when the broadcast starts Finnick can see Beetee slip into an intense concentration as he works to hack into the very system he created.

It takes a few moments but he does it.

Capitol news is mixed with their propo, Finnick taking up most of the interview with the stories of his clients. Eventually, as Beetee battles for control against the Capitol defenses, he wins, and the majority of what Finnick said about President Snow makes it in uninterrupted until the Capitol gains control again.

Beetee wipes his face with a handkerchief and turns to look at Katniss and him “If they’re not out of there by now, they’re all dead.”

He and Katniss still as he continues to speak “It was a good plan, though. Did Plutarch show it to you?”

When they tell him no Beetee takes them to another room where he goes over everything the rescue team was briefed on. Finnick doesn’t understand anything, he loses track of the plan after five minutes and looks over to Katniss to see if she’s still following along but is relieved to see she looks just as lost.

When Beetee sees their faces he breaks out into a smile and tells them that it’s a good thing because if they can’t follow it perhaps their enemies won’t be able to either. Finnick wants to have confidence in that statement and wants to feel relieved but he wonders how the team was even able to follow along in the first place with so little time on their hands.

After the plan is said to them they refuse to leave the Special Defense room and eventually they’re offered another room that they can stay in until news comes along. They reluctantly agree not wanting to be in the way and they stay in a room close by where Katniss and he return to tying knots. They don’t speak as the minutes tick by, they both just focus on tying their ropes.

They don’t want dinner when it comes around and even when his fingers become delicate and start to bleed from the constant rope rubbing against his skin he doesn’t stop making knots.

Hours later as his fingers start to burn a voice disrupts him and he realizes it’s Katniss’ voice that calls out to him. She doesn’t look up from her rope but he does, if only to give his hands a break.

“Did you love Annie right away, Finnick?” She asks.

“No,” He instantly replies but it takes him a while to add the next part, “She crept up on me.”

Katniss keeps her mouth closed for a moment but then she stops tying her knot and looks up at him.

“Do you love Emily?” She asks the question, quietly but never does her voice waver.

He shakes his head, “No, I don’t think I quite know her well enough to call it love.”

“But you like her?”

“Yes,” he answers simply.

“Do you still love Annie?” She asks after a short pause.

Finnick looks back down to his hands as he ponders her question, the answer slowly taking form.

“Yes, just not in the same way I used to, I don’t think.”

Katniss nods and the conversation ends there as they both go back to their knotting. Hours pass and he’s not quite sure how long it’s been nor how he and Katniss have managed to stay busy for so long but when the door opens and reveals Haymitch they instantly stop what they’re doing.

“They’re back. We’re wanted in the hospital,” Katniss starts to open her mouth to question him but Haymitch cuts her off “That’s all I know.”

He instantly turns around and Katniss goes to follow him but Finnick can’t seem to move. His heart is beating so fast that it’s the only sound that fills his ears. Katniss hardly allows him a moment to process anything before she’s grabbing his arm and pulling him behind her as they run down to the hospital. His brain finally catching up with him and causing him to move forward with determination. When they make it to the hospital they’re both breathing hard but neither cares about catching their breath as they head inside. The place is in an uproar, they narrowly miss a gurney being pushed in front of them and it takes him a moment to recognize the unconscious woman laying in the cot. Bile rises up to his throat as he looks down at Johanna.

Bruises litter her body, dark and pronounced on her pale skin. Scabs are still oozing and blood falls onto the white linen under her. The last thing he notices before she’s wheeled away is her shaved head.

His attention goes back to looking around, and then he spots her. She’s standing outside of Gale’s room, the door open as nurses run in and out. He’s relieved at first, seeing her and knowing she’s alive was enough but then he notices the tears leaking out of her eyes and the way she’s incredibly pale, slight shivers wracking her body as she keeps herself upright.

He starts to make for her but then his name is being yelled from somewhere to his right and he misses the way a pair of brown eyes locks onto his form as he looks away.

He instantly notices her, a huge smile is on her face and he can’t help but return it as she leaps into his arm making them both stumble back into the wall behind him. She wraps herself around him, clinging onto him with every fiber of her being and Finnick can’t help the guilt that starts to make its way through his body as he hears her sniffle.

He stays with her as she’s looked over by the nurses, never once letting go of her hand. It’s odd seeing her in front of him and actually knowing she’s okay. He knows he had wished her to be dead but as she speaks to the nurse her eyes locking onto his every few seconds as if to make sure he’s still there he realizes he would’ve missed her dearly. Annie and he had been through so much together and despite his confusing feelings, he knows that he would rather have her alive and free than dead in the Capitol, her last moments that of fear. It only wracks the guilt in him more as the day continues and he sees parts of the girl he used to know as well as the parts she developed in her time in the Capitol.

Whenever someone new walks into the room she squeezes his hand tighter, fearful of the new face, and whenever a machine makes a noise she flinches and turns her head to look. It all just makes him angry, angry at himself for not trying to get her out sooner and demanding that district 13 make a plan for the victors trapped in the Capitol.

It's hours before the nurses leave them alone and by then Annie is too tired to speak and promptly falls asleep her grip eventually slacking on his hand.

He presses a light kiss to her forehead as he gets up, his anxiety about Emily’s state catching up to him now that he’s had a moment to think. He slowly pulls his hand away not wanting to wake Annie up and then quietly leaves the room in search of Emily.

He learns from a nurse that Emily had been looked over and was admitted into the hospital for the time being. It doesn’t take him long to find her on the schedule and he quickly makes his way to her room, only he pauses when he sees she’s not inside. He looks around and is about to ask a nurse but he sees Haymitch down the hallway and follows after him as he settles in a room.

As he nears he hears Haymitch speak,

“You know you should be resting, especially after the day you’ve had.”

Her voice comes out soft and tired “I’m fine.”

Finnick stops in the hallway, knowing his presence would immediately make them quiet down.

“I was worried about you,” Haymitch says gently, a tone Finnick has never heard him use before.

“Abernathy, keep talking like that, and I might think you actually enjoy my company,” Finnick imagines a playful smile on her face as she says it.

Haymitch scoffs but doesn’t say anything else. Eventually, Emily speaks again.

“I was terrified we wouldn’t make it back.”

Haymitch lets the words sink in for a moment before answering “Why did you volunteer?”

There’s a long pause before Emily answers “I told Katniss I would protect him, I wasn’t going to fail her twice,” a bitter laugh escapes her lips, “Except that didn’t go exactly to plan either now did it.”

There’s shuffling in the room, Haymitch’s voice sounding a little bit further away.

“Don’t do that. Don’t blame yourself for the things the Capitol did.”

Emily doesn’t reply again but when he hears sniffling he chances a look inside to see Haymitch has his arm wrapped around Emily who’s holding on tightly to him as she softly cries into his shoulder. He swallows thickly looking at the interaction and hides behind the wall again when he sees Haymitch’s fingers brush through her hair to calm her.

A wave of unreasonable anger floods through him at the interaction, and it’s only as Finnick is walking away does he understand why. He’s jealous, not of Haymitch but of the way she seeks comfort with him. The way Emily so easily spoke to him about her feelings and let him hold her when Finnick was the one that had been making the effort to be around her and made sure she had found a place in district 13.

He shakes his head as he settles back down in the seat next to Annie’s bed. No, it wasn’t right of him to be angry with her, not when she had risked her life going to the Capitol to retrieve not only Peeta but Johanna and Annie too. Emily didn’t owe Finnick anything and despite it hurting him he knew it wasn’t something he could get upset over, not when Emily wasn’t his to care for.

He rubbed at his eyes, ridding himself of thoughts of her and focusing instead on what was to come next.

Chapter Text

Emily had never been more relieved to be underground and in the confines of District 13 which to her was ironic considering she had previously considered this place to be a prison. But as the hovercraft touched down and the group was taken to the hospital for checkups Emily felt a wave of anxiety roll off of her. She knew that here President Snow couldn’t reach her.

The decision to go on the rescue mission had been one that she had been determined to see through but as the hovercraft flew into the Capitol the nerves in her stomach seemed to unravel, those feelings only grew when they finally reached the Victors.

It had all turned into a mess then, with guards springing up on them as they took the three unconscious victors up to the hovercraft. Gale had managed to get hit in the shoulder as they were going back and it left Emily having to cover him. She was sure that would have been it for the two of them there, especially when the guards seemed to be closing in but then Boggs had come back and distracted the guards while Emily helped Gale. The three had been able to reach the hovercraft with his help.

As soon as they were inside they had taken to the air and the hovercraft was silent as everyone waited to see if they would be able to fly out of the Capitol. It was only when they finally passed the border that Emily let herself breathe a sigh of relief.

She was able to take her attention off the windows, finally taking in the appearances of the three victors, the same people she had so miserably failed.

Bile instantly rose up in her throat as she caught Peeta’s appearance. She thought that seeing him on the Capitol news would’ve prepared her for this but it was so much worse in person. Gone were the suits they put him in when airing him on live television, instead he was in dirty rags that were stained yellow and reddish-brown. Emily could see his arms and legs which were covered in dark bruises, some new while some looked to be healing. However, the thing that stuck out to her the most was how thin he was.

She could practically see his bones poking out of his skin making her feel extremely ill. Looking at Johanna had made her feel even worse. Her head had been shaved clean, bruises staining her pale complexion. Unlike Peeta’s skin, Johanna had cuts and scraps littering her body, that were still very fresh, some looking as if they hadn’t even had time to heal before punishment was issued on her again.

Emily forced herself to look away when she felt the tears fall down her cheeks and hastily wiped away at them as she resolutely looked at her shoes.

The rest of the flight passed with Emily stuck in her own head, wracking up the guilt of what her actions in the games meant for the other victors in the hovercraft. She knew Katniss did not blame her but it meant nothing when Katniss had not been the one imprisoned in the Capitol.

When the Hovercraft finally touched down Emily was intent on finding her room and then holing herself up for the day but with a stern look from Boggs, she followed the rest of the team into the Hospital. The people with obvious injuries were taken first, Emily was left standing awkwardly alone. She had decided to just station herself outside of Gale’s room in case Haymitch or Katniss came around.

However, Emily could hardly pay attention to the chaos around her as the doctors rushed to treat the victors and the rescue team.

She hadn’t realized it until the moment her feet were back on the ground but she had been terrified that she would be captured and join the other victors forgotten in a Capitol cell. It had been a scary thought that had slowly crept into her mind until her every thought had resulted in wondering what would happen if she was discovered and captured. Seeing the victors had only made her feel selfishly grateful that Boggs had come back to help Gale and herself because the horror of having to live through the torture of what the Capitol had in store was too much for her to bare.

It was those feelings that had her crying again, the enormous amount of guilt mixed with relief as she stood in the deep levels of District 13, the same place she had hated so much hours before.

She doesn’t know how long she spends there, lost in her own head, it’s only when she hears his name being called out that her eyes instinctively snap up.

She can see his blonde hair immediately, it looks messy, almost as if he ran his hand through it multiple times. But the thing that takes her attention most is the big smile that slowly appears on his face, a smile Emily doesn’t think she’s ever seen before it's being covered by a woman’s bright red hair.

Emily watches the scene unfold, the way Annie clings to him with her whole body and the way he holds onto her just as tightly as the two stumble back.

There’s a bitterness that grows in her, something close to anger as she remembers Finnick’s previous words to Katniss the night before. It makes her immediately look away from the pair as she realizes that now that Finnick has what he wants he won’t need distractions.

When a nurse comes to check up on her Emily happily follows along, wanting to be alone so she can fully process everything that’s happened and get her feelings under control. After the nurse has left, telling her she’s to stay the night, Emily can hardly string her thoughts together. She’s quickly grown tired from the mission and all the different things she’s experienced throughout the day. She decides to sleep it off, changing into a hospital gown, hoping that by tomorrow her emotions will fall back into place but when there’s commotion from outside the room Emily can’t help but be on alert.

When she approaches the door she can see a bunch of nurses rushing forward before the gurney makes its way into view. Immediately Emily opens the door upon seeing it’s Katniss laying there but as she starts to follow after the large group she’s held back.

Emily turns with a scowl but upon seeing Haymitch she relaxes. She’s opening her mouth to ask him what happened but he immediately lifts a finger making her roll her eyes.

“I’m as lost as you are sweetheart. Going to go get answers now.”

Emily sighs but nods, “Will you tell me what you know?”

He looks her over, giving her a serious expression but after a moment nods.

They part ways there, Emily spending the next hour in suspenseful silence as she wonders what the hell went wrong.

She’s pacing the floor for about the 100th time when the door finally creaks open and in walks a tired Haymitch.

“What happened?” She immediately asks.

Haymitch raises an eyebrow, before sitting himself on the seat next to her bed. Finally, when he’s settled in he finally answers, “Peeta.”

Emily scrunches her eyebrows together, confused by his statement.

“I don’t understand,” she tells him as she takes a seat on the bed across from him.

Haymitch lets out a tired sigh, “We aren’t sure about anything yet. The doctors are still running tests but Plutarch believes it’s the Capitols doing.” He took a pause before explaining the next part, “Everything was fine at first but as soon as Peeta locked eyes with Katniss it’s like a switch went off. He tried to kill her.”

Emily stares at his face for a long time, willing for Haymitch to break and tell her it's just some horribly planned out joke but she can tell from the way his eyes look sunken in and his messy hair that this has been bothering him.

When the information settles in she shakes her head and lets out a bitter laugh, “Somehow we’re still managing to play his damn game.”

She rubs at her eyes before looking back at Haymitch, “Is Katniss alright?”

Haymitch looks even more serious than before and for a moment she’s terrified he’ll tell her Peeta succeeded.

“Bruises all around her neck, she’ll be stuck wearing a cast for a while. She’s still unconscious but they’ve set up a room for her down the hallway where she’ll be getting all the care she needs.”

Emily doesn’t know what to say, she thought they had saved the victors only to find out that Snow, as per usual had his own motives in their rescue. It makes Emily wonder if they were actually as inconspicuous as they thought they had been or if Snow merely let them take the victors. It sends a chill down her back to think of the latter because it means Snow knew they were there, in fact, he could have just captured them all if he had really wanted to and the thought leavers her deeply unsettled.

“I’ve got to get back to Plutarch and the others. They’re still trying to see what’s going on and I’d like to be in the loop of it all when Katniss starts to ask questions.”

Emily simply nods as Haymitch starts to get up, giving her one final look before exiting her room.

It only takes Emily a few moments to decide to go to Katniss' room. The floor is cold beneath her feet as she makes her way through the now quiet hospital. The tiredness from earlier slowly weighs down on her shoulders as she looks for Katniss’ room. When she finds it she’s surprised to see no one else in there, but she also feels grateful for the peace that will come with the silence.

Katniss is laying unconscious in the bed. The large white cast makes her look even paler than she already is.

Emily walks closer to her, slowly lifting her hand to push a piece of her dark hair out of her face. A frown quickly works its way onto her face as she looks down at the young girl. She had been so broken over the thought of Peeta being killed, of all his pain being her fault, and when she finally had him it wasn’t the happy reunion she was probably hoping it would be.

She wondered if Katniss would ever catch a break.

Shaking her head she pulled away from the girl and settled in one of the chairs beside her bed, pulling her legs up to her chest as she sat with the unconscious girl.

The weight that had left her shoulders since landing back in district 13 had seemed to settle back on her. Pushing her down and feeling heavier every time she took another breath.

She hated President Snow and she hated the Capitol for being so ignorant of the reason why this rebellion started in the first place. Frustrated fingers scrap through her scalp, tugging at her hair as she tries to push away her growing fears. It was so very clear to her now that President Snow did not have any limits. He intends to extinguish any fire the rebellion might build, by any means necessary. Even turning innocent children into his own weapons so that he might accomplish those goals.

It makes her start to shake, knowing he could have so easily had her earlier if he had noticed she had been a part of the rescue group. She knows he would have loved to have her in his grasp, another victor who he couldn’t control, withering at his feet.

She quickly pushes her legs back down and stuffs her hands under them to stop herself from shaking. She shuts her eyes, so hard that she starts to see stars against her eyelids Then she takes one deep breath, holding it a few seconds before releasing it, going through the process until eventually her mind quiets down and her heart stops beating so rapidly.

When she opens her eyes she focuses on the screen showing Katniss’ heart rate, keeping herself occupied with the spikes going up and down as each thud is recorded.

She must be there for a while because Haymitch eventually returns. Emily can’t hide emotions for long, her tired mind giving up on trying to keep it together and easily letting the tears flow. Haymitch holds her in such a gentle manner that she feels her tears rushing out even faster. She feels she doesn’t deserve his kindness, not after what she caused, but even as she thinks that she can’t find the energy to push herself out of his embrace.

He holds her until the tears stop, Emily pulling away but looping their hands together so she knows someone is around. She doesn’t look at him as she does it, almost afraid that he might reject the simple gesture but he doesn’t.

They sit there for hours as different people come in and out, checking in on Katniss, only leaving when the day becomes night. Boggs takes their place, telling them he’ll alert them if Katniss wakes up.

Reluctantly she goes back to her room. Haymitch leads her inside to make sure she actually stays there.

She turns to look at him as he starts to leave but her grip on his hand only increases. Fear grips her and she realizes she really doesn’t want to be alone.

When he turns to look at her she looks away, not confident in her next words.

“Will you stay with me?” She asks, her voice hoarse from the hours of silence.

He stays quiet for a long moment and Emily instantly feels silly, for having even asked him.

“I- Nevermind it’s okay,” she tells him as she starts to retract her hand but before she can fully let go can he takes a hold of her again making her eyes snap to his.

“I want to,” he tells her quietly, his own eyes looking as tired as she feels.

She nods, and gets into the hospital bed, moving to one side so Haymitch can also slip in. When he does she puts her head on his chest, relaxing as she hears his heartbeat. He slowly puts an arm around her, as if afraid in doing so she might instantly run from him but when all she does is relax further he feels his own nerves settle down.

It doesn’t take long for Emily to fall asleep, Haymitch’s warmth comforting her as the cold thoughts in her head try to keep her awake.

Within minutes she’s asleep, her breathing evening out as her dreams start.

Emily blinks away the bright lights from the room, confusion clouding her head as she tries to place where she is and how she got here. She’s on the floor, the ground cold causing a shiver to go down her body. She looks down to try and pull her blanket around her but she finds that she’s not in her bed, she’s on a dirty floor, with only rags as her clothing.

Fear quickly surges through her as she whips her head around her. There’s nothing else in the room, only three concrete walls with the fourth having a door. She shoots up instantly trying to open the iron door but it’s locked, she starts to pull it harder, and then starts to push against it when that doesn’t work.

Miraculously that works and she falls out into a hallway, when she takes in her surroundings she realizes that she’s seen this place.

It’s where she had just gone to save the other victors, her breath comes to a halt as she wonders how President Snow had managed to capture her. She runs forward, taking the same path as she had the day before so she can exit the building but before she can even escape the hall the door at the end is opening, three guards walking in.

Her eyes widen in fear as she looks around for a place to hide but she realizes that the only place for her to go is back in the cell. However, while she’s thinking it over she fails to realize the guards have already spotted her.

“HEY!” One yells out instantly making her flinch as she looks back at the group. The three guards start to raise their weapons, electricity coursing through the stick they each carry.

Emily takes a step back as they move forward but as soon as she does so they start rushing toward her. She turns to run down the other way but there’s no other exit. She only makes it a few steps forward before she feels the sharp sting on her back, making her cry out in pain as she falls to the ground.

She tries to get back up and find an opening but as soon as the guards see her moving they hit her again, another bolt of electricity traveling through her. This time they don’t stop, each constantly taking a turn in attacking her, even as her screams echo throughout the empty hallway.

She’s shaking, her limbs spazzing out as she takes on another attack. The shaking is getting so bad, that she starts to bite her own tongue as she tries to keep her teeth from clattering.

Distantly she can hear them saying her name, calling out to her as if taunting her. Slowly it becomes louder as if they’re screaming it right into her ear until she’s gasping and shooting straight up.

Emily looks around, eyes blurry from tears stinging her eyes. She can’t tell who anyone is but as someone tries to get closer to her she screams, her throat feeling sore.

“Emily, please, it’s Haymitch, you’re okay. You’re in District 13,” Haymitch says from her right.

She instantly snaps her head in his direction, blinking rapidly as she tries to clear her vision. It takes a few moments but soon she can make his features out, her heart relaxes the tiniest bit at seeing him. Her head then snaps to the other people in the room, seeing a few concerned nurses and at the door a worried Finnick.

She looks away when she catches his eyes, embarrassment flooding her as she turns to look at her blanket.

“I’m sorry,” she tells them quietly, the simple action hurting her mouth and making her wince.

She brings her hands up to her lips and wipes at them to see her hand covered in a bit of blood. A frown appears on her face as she looks at the red substance trickling down her finger, her lips starting to tremble at seeing the blood move.

She can feel her vision getting blurry again as she shakes her head.

Arms are taking hold of her as soon as the tears start to fall down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” she repeats again, her words thick with emotion.

“It’s okay, It’s okay,” the person says reassuringly as her whole body starts to tremble.

She holds onto them, gripping the material of their shirt as she starts to repeat the sentence again, eventually her sobs making it hard to hear the words she’s trying to push out.

She feels like she’s losing control but before she can get too far into her head she feels a prickle of something against her back before darkness is consuming her senses.

Chapter Text

The next time Emily awoke, there was no one in the room with her. She blinked away the tiredness from her mind still feeling drowsy and looked around, her eyebrows scrunching in confusion.

She hadn’t remembered falling asleep, in fact, she was sure she had been sobbing into someone’s shoulder. Had she managed to tire herself out from all her crying? She pushed herself into a sitting position, her body feeling slow and weak. She debated on whether to venture out and try to find Haymitch to get some answers or if she should call a nurse but as she was thinking it over the door swung open.

“Oh good you’re awake,” Said the cheerful voice of Arabella.

“What-” Emily stopped herself from speaking when she felt a dull pain in her mouth.

“It’ll hurt for a small while sweetheart, the bite you gave yourself caused a cut on your tongue. It’s not bleeding anymore but it isn’t fully healed,” Arabella told her as she walked to stand at the end of the bed and look at her chart.

Emily frowned, as she thought back to the moment when she had felt blood drip from her mouth.

“What happened?” Emily asked slowly but it didn’t help her feel any less pain.

Arabella looked up and paused in her notes, “Darling you were having a panic attack. From what the other nurses told me you started screaming really loudly. When they went to check on you, your friend, Haymitch, was trying to shake you awake but you wouldn’t budge. You kept crying and yelling out until eventually, you woke up.”

A worried look crossed Arabella’s face, “The other nurses thought that when you noticed you woke up you’d calm down but you didn’t. They gave you a sedative when it started to get really bad. You’ve been asleep for about a day now, Finnick and Haymitch take turns being here but President Coin called a meeting so Finnick asked if I could check on you while they’re gone.”

A number of emotions welled up in Emily’s heart at hearing that Finnick and Haymitch had stayed with her even though they had more important people to worry about, like Katniss and Annie.

Emily slowly nodded her head, “I didn’t mean to cause any trouble.”

Arabella’s eyebrows rose into her hairline as she set down the clipboard at the end of her bed and sat in the chair next to Emily’s bed.

“Now Emily it’s no trouble at all. These people care about you, I care about you and all we want is for you to be taken care of. If it troubled anybody at all we wouldn’t be here or try for that matter to make sure you’re okay. But we are here and you need to understand that we care about you sweetheart.”

Arabella narrowed her eyes and rose an eyebrow, “Now I don’t want to hear any of that type of talk from you anymore okay?”

Emily’s eyes widened as she looked at Arabella’s stern look. Arabella narrowed her eyes a tiny bit more when Emily had yet to answer causing the girl to quickly nod. The whole interaction made her feel like a young kid again when her mom would catch Joshua and herself running around the fields of District 11 when they were supposed to be in school.

Arabella’s face instantly relaxed at her nod and a smile grew upon her lips.

“Now that you’re awake I bet you’re hungry.”

Emily hadn’t realized how hungry she had been until Arabella had mentioned it and the thought of food had quickly made her mouth water. Apparently, her expression clearly showed her thoughts because Arabella let out a small laugh.

“I’ll have them bring you back something good, just relax love. It’s all okay now,” She sent her a kind smile before leaving the room in search of lunch.

Emily was grateful for how Arabella was always able to make her feel more at ease. Moments ago she would’ve thrown herself into another worrying fit with the idea of being a burden on Finnick and Haymitch but Arabella had quickly stomped down those emotions. It was like she had read her mind and it was her mission to make sure she understood that they all wanted to be there for her. Despite her nightmare and the emotions that followed, Emily found that she could only focus on the kind words Arabella had spoken to her.

When she came back with some soup and soft vegetables Emily found it easy to keep the light feeling in her heart. Together the two spoke about the things she had missed, there was still nothing new on how to help Peeta, it was why Coin had called a meeting. Katniss had also still been asleep but they were expecting her to wake up sometime soon. They continued to speak about anything else but her panic attack which made Emily feel more relaxed because truthfully she did not want to talk about it.

She didn’t want to relive the horrible dream over again where she felt trapped with no escape, she didn’t want to think about how the other victors might’ve felt exactly like that under the Capitol's control. She just wanted to have one moment where everything felt semi-normal before the war came barreling in again.

So the two kept talking and kept the conversation about anything but Emily, something Arabella easily picked up on. And when Arabella was called to go check on another patient Emily found it easy to send her a small smile as she departed.

However, Emily was never one to sit still, and with no one to keep her company she slowly slipped out of bed. Her nose scrunched up as the cold cement made contact with her feet. She carefully pulled the door open and peeked out knowing that Arabella would immediately scold her if she saw her walking out of her room after she had told her to get some rest.

When she saw no sign of her brown and gray-streaked hair she quickened her pace searching for Katniss’ room. Katniss was still in the same room that she had been in before and as she entered she quickly paused when she saw that someone else was also in the room.

Boggs sat in a chair across from Katniss’ bed, his eyes on her when he noticed the door opening.

He raised an eyebrow at seeing her, his eyes looking down to her hospital gown which had her feeling slightly embarrassed.

He bowed his head, a sign Emily took as being allowed in, and took the seat closer to Katniss’ bed.

They sat in silence for a long moment before Boggs’ voice echoed in the room, “You did a good job soldier. I know we’ve had…complications but with your help, we were able to take the remaining victors out of the Capitol.”

Emily slightly winced at hearing herself referred to as a soldier, the word leaving a sour taste in her mouth.

“Thank you, I just did what needed to be done,” Emily eventually said.

The conversation was swiftly over after that, Boggs usually being all about business and Emily feeling too awkward to make any more conversation.

However things weren’t quite for long for soon Katniss’ heart rate started to pick up speed, the beeping getting steadily higher before she gasped and her eyes shot open. She had immediately placed her hands on the cast surrounding her neck, fear filling her eyes as she tried to take it off.

Boggs and Emily were on their feet in an instant with Boggs calming her down.

“No, Katniss, no no no,” He was saying as he carefully held her arms back from the cast. “You’re swollen don’t touch it yet, calm down. Calm down you’re okay.”

Katniss’ eyes searched his, wide and red as she tried to take in his words until her breathing finally started to slow down.

“I’ll go tell the nurses she’s awake,” Boggs says turning to Emily who gives him a nod.

“Peeta,” Katniss said hoarsely making Emily wince.

“Don’t talk Katniss. Peeta’s okay from what I’ve heard. Haymitch and the others are trying to find a solution okay?” She told her gently.

However fear only seemed to be present in Katniss’ eyes as she stared at Emily, her breaths loud and raspy as she tried to suck in another breath. It shakes something deep within Emily, a type of protectiveness she hadn’t felt since the reaping.

Katniss the young girl who was the face of the rebellion, wide-eyed and laying in a hospital bed is an image she will never be able to push out of her mind because it reminds her that even the strong can fall. And it hurts to realize because Katniss is still only a child, Emily wasn’t much older but it had felt so wrong to put the girl through so many trials just to unite the districts. To put that weight and responsibility upon her as the world watched her every move, ready to follow her into battle.

The moment only lasts for a short while before the nurses are in the room checking up on her as Boggs and Emily stand aside. Primrose eventually comes in when the news that Katniss is awake reaches her and she helps the other nurses check her over. Her sister's presence makes Katniss relax as the nurses do their work and come to a diagnosis.

The nurses come to their verdict quickly after all the necessary tests and procedures. Katniss will thankfully not have any permanent damage but the swelling in her throat will give her some trouble speaking clearly and eating until she's fully healed. When the nurses leave another group takes their place.

Plutarch, Beetee, and Haymitch take their places around the room, Haymitch choosing to stand next to Emily who gives him a nod. He returns it with a tired smile.

A small argument ensues on whether Prim should stay or not but she’s quick to put Plutarch in his place and the girl stays.

It takes a moment for Plutarch to find the words he’s looking for, the struggle evident on his face.

“It’s called Hijacking. We don’t know how long the Capitols been doing this to Peeta.”

Beetee slightly shook his head, “It’s fear conditioning, enhanced with tracker jacker venom. You were stung your first game remember?”

Katniss simply blinked in confirmation.

“The venom puts the subject in a dissociative state,” He stuttered over the next words, “they torture him with shocks, beatings.”

A frown made its way onto Emily’s face as she listened to Beetee’s explanation, guilt, and anger mixing together.

Beetee continued, “They strip down his identity and then all of that suffering and fear is redirected. Associated with other memories or person.”

Emily pushed her fingernails into her palm as she rolled her hands into fists, her jaw tightening, making her mouth hurt. It was horrible to listen and know the Capitol did this to another person, a human being, all to harm Katniss.

“They can change his memories of Katniss?” Prim asked softly as she looked over at Beetee.

“To make her seem life-threatening,” Beetee replied causing Katniss’ eyes to widen.

“They turned him into a weapon Katniss,” Haymitch said grimly, “To kill you.”

Everyone stayed quiet for a moment, Haymitch’s words settling in before Prim spoke again.

“But you can reverse it?”

“Fear is the most difficult thing to overcome, we’re hard-wired to remember fear best,” Beetee explained making Emily’s heart sink.

“It’s new terrain,” Plutarch spoke up with a small shrug, “But we’ve put together a team. I”m optimistic.”

However it was clear to everyone else that this was something they had never seen, and a cure could not be right around the corner.

“Do you?” Prim asked “And what do you think Haymitch?” she said, causing the rest of the room to turn to him as well.

His face seems to fall more as he admits his concerns, “I think Peeta might get somewhat better but, I don’t think he’ll ever be the same.”

“At least he’s alive,” Plutarch says exasperated as he shoots a look at Haymitch. “Snow executed Peeta’s stylist and his prep team on live television tonight. Peeta’s damaged, but he’s here. With us. And that’s a definite improvement over his situation from before. Let’s keep that in mind, all right?”

Emily immediately shot Plutarch a glare. His lack of empathy for the whole situation made her extremely uncomfortable. Of course, she was relieved to have the victors in thirteen but using the deaths of others to show how fortunate they were was something that made her stomach turn in disgust.

The words also seemed to have a worse effect on Katniss whose eyes started to water and whose breaths started to come in short until she was eventually choking from the lack of air. A nurse was quickly called and Katniss was sedated once more.

When it all settled down Emily shot Plutarch a withering glare before stalking out of the room and making her way back to her own.

She heard footsteps close behind her but didn’t bother to turn around, her anger clouding her mind, as she stormed back to her room.

A hand reached out, stopping her. She swiftly turned and snatched her arm away, a glare fixed on her face which turned to shock when she saw who she was facing.

“You’re scaring the patients with that glare Greene,” Finnick said with an amused tone.

Upon hearing his voice Emily snapped out of her shock and set her face into a neutral expression.

“Luckily that’s not my concern,” Emily replied in a bored tone.

A small smile made its way onto his face, “Good to see your personality is still intact.”

Emily raised an eyebrow.

Finnick cleared his throat “Are you feeling any better?”

“You’ve been visiting Odair, haven’t you been paying any attention to my health?” Emily replied.

Finnick slightly frowned at the way she was acting, “I have but I just wanted to hear from you.”

Those words made Emily’s heart speed up faster, and a new feeling sprouted in her that she couldn’t identify.

“Well, I’m speaking and moving so I’m fine. Now if you’ll excuse me,” Emily quickly replied not liking this strange emotion and the way it was spreading. She turned not bothering to see the hurt look Finnick sent her as she continued on her way.

She wondered if all interactions with Finnick would leave her in such a state, if they did then she needed to figure out what this meant quickly.

Emily was glad to be discharged from the Hospital later that day, wanting to sleep somewhere where she wouldn’t have to worry about running into Finnick. She was dressed back in her grey jumpsuit and sent on her way to get her new room. The build was similar to the one before with two beds in the room instead of one. Luckily she was not assigned a roommate and had the room to herself.

She had shut herself in the room closing the blinds and burrowing herself under blankets in her new bed. It still smelled like clean sheets and cleaning supplies, making her nose wrinkle. As her eyes traveled the room an emptiness settled down in her making her wrap the blankets tighter around herself.

She had lost all her drawings that used to hang from her room walls, all the work put into remembering her home gone within a night. Torn and shredded to pieces under pounds of rubble, at the other end of District 13. Now far from the nurses running around and the constant beeping of machines Emily realized how alone she felt. Even if people did care, even if they watched over her as she slept none of them understood the sadness that clung to her heart. She had no family to fight this war for, she had nobody waiting at home for her to return to because she had let them go. The war had started long ago and she was late on fighting back until she was forced to.

She shut her eyes, humming the song her mother used to sing to her as she imagined the fields of eleven. She thought of the wind rustling the plants and the dirt that always stuck onto her clothes. She imagined the bright blue skies and the smiles people gave one another as they greeted each other for work. She reminisced about everything she could remember until she grew sleepy, dreaming of a life untouched by war and pain, a beautiful dream she never wanted to awaken from.

She was brought out of her dreams by a knock, an annoyed groan leaving her mouth. She wondered if she could simply ignore it and hope whoever it was would go away but the knocking persisted until she had no choice but to get up.

With a scowl on her face, she opened the door to see Haymitch standing on the other side.

“Well aren’t you a beauty,” He said as soon as he took in her appearance.

Her scowl deepened, knowing her hair was probably messy from the turning she did in bed, and the jumpsuit she had fallen asleep in was starting to wrinkle.

She didn’t give him a response but turned around and walked back into the room plopping down on her bed. Haymitch invited himself inside, closing the door behind him and taking the seat on the bed across from hers.

“How’d you find me?” She eventually asked.

Haymitch shrugged, “I have my connections.”

Emily rolled her eyes at his answer.

When she didn’t reply, Haymitch decided to speak.

“You okay after everything from earlier?”

Emily let out a sigh, why was everyone suddenly concerned about her, “Yes Haymitch just peachy.”

Haymitch raised an eyebrow, “Well usually when people are ‘just peachy’ they don’t send icy glares and dramatically leave a room.”

Emily narrowed her eyes at him.

“Nor do they continuously send their friends the same look,” He continued.

Emily dramatically threw herself onto her bed so she was laying down and facing the ceiling. Her anger had quickly dissipated forming into guilt.

Very quietly she spoke to him, “Do you ever think everything that happened was deserved?”

“Like maybe you did something so wrong you were chosen for the games?” She asked him as she kept her eyes trained above her.

“Not so much during the games, I just thought I had terrible luck but everything afterward...that felt like it was all because of the mistakes I made,” He shrugged letting out a sigh “I was drowning in the sorrow for years but sometimes we just have to learn to accept our past and move on.”

She turned to him then, “What if I can’t accept it?”

He gave her a sad smile, “You’ll have to, or you’ll always end up stuck in your misery. I mean look at me, I somehow did it. Granted this was forced and if you ever find any liquor lying around…”

She let out a short laugh and shook her head, “You’re unbelievable.”

He grinned at her before continuing “It’ll always feel like you could’ve done something better, but you can’t live your life full of what ifs, you just have to go on and try to make better decisions in the future.”

Emily raised both her eyebrows, “Maybe Effie was onto something? Perhaps I also like you better sober.”

He rolled his eyes and picked up the pillow on the bed he was sitting at before throwing it at her, making her smile turn into a laugh.

When she settled down she turned to look at him once more, “Thank you Haymitch.”

He gave her a soft grin, “Anytime sweetheart.”

Chapter Text

Things felt like they were at a standstill for some time after the victors were rescued. Emily spent most of her time surrounding herself in Haymitch’s company and keeping herself updated on Peeta’s condition. Anything she heard did little to help her guilty heart and seeing Katniss’ mood clearly deteriorate only twisted something deeper in her. She wanted to do more and help in any way she could, but there was nothing she could do.

None of the words she wanted to say would in any way ease Katniss’ worries and so she remained quiet and in her own head for most of the time.

Finnick tried to speak to her more but Emily tried her hardest to remain neutral when around him, an unnecessary amount of anger would arise in her whenever she caught sight of him and it would only worsen if Annie was around him. She couldn’t explain the emotion well, all she knew was that she usually wanted to get away from him fast and any conversation between the two was cut short by rushed excuses.

He seemed to be getting more annoyed by her every time she scurried away and she was sure if he caught her again he wouldn’t allow her to so easily brush him off, so she remained even more careful. She felt immensely silly going through all the trouble to remain unseen for she knew Finnick spent most of his time in the hospital with Annie but when meals came he always made it to the cafeteria.

She continuously looked around as she and Haymitch made their way to the cafeteria, her brown hair constantly swishing over her shoulder as she turned this way and that way.

“You keep doing that and your head might just pop right off,” Haymitch eventually said.

A small blush covered her cheeks at being called out as Haymitch continued, “Who’s got you so jumpy anyway?”

The blush on her cheeks deepened, as embarrassment clouded her mind.

“Why does it matter?” Emily responded.

Haymitch sent her a look, “Well if they’ve got you so scared then let’s just say I’ve grown concerned.”

Emily frowned, “I’m not scared.”

He lifted an eyebrow, “If you say so, sweetheart.”

Emily sent him a glare as the two continued on their way to the cafeteria, her heart pounding faster the closer they got. However, before they could even step inside the room Plutarch appeared in front of them.

He pulls Emily away from Haymitch, something that makes her frown deepen. She had looked at Plutarch differently since the comment he had made when they had spoken to Katniss. It had felt so cold and detached and it had made Emily realize how little Plutarch knew about the loss and pain that came from the Capitol. Although he sacrificed much to be here she knew he had not lost the way the victors had, or even those in the district had. He in many ways still thought much like a Capitol citizen despite his betrayal of them and it left a bad taste in her mouth to know that deaths meant so little to him.

He only told her a few things as they walked along District 13, things about a mission, Katniss choosing her, etc.

It had surprised Emily to hear such a thing but Katniss’ pickings were slim at the moment and she supposed she was the next best thing to a familiar face.

When they get to the room, there is only a handful of people inside. Boggs sits on one side of the table with Katniss next to him and on the other side, Coin sits. Emily takes the empty chair next to Katniss while Plutarch takes the chair next to Coin.

“Hello Ms. Greene,” President Coin greets with a smile that doesn’t quite feel real.

Emily nods, “President Coin.”

“Thank you for joining us, our team is currently assembling a mission to go into District 2 in hopes of convincing the last of their civilians to join our cause. Ms. Everdeen has requested that you join the group in District two.”

Emily looks at Katniss, her face giving nothing away.

“If you choose to accept you will leave with the rest of the group tomorrow afternoon once everything has been arranged with the rebels in District two,” Coin informs her.

“I accept,” Emily replies after only a few seconds of silence, knowing that she couldn’t bail on Katniss when she specifically asked for her.

President Coin nodded, “I’ll start on preparations now, thank you for making time to join us.”

Emily gives her a small smile, one she isn’t sure looks genuine at all. When President Coin rises, she understands the meeting is over and soon the rest are filing out after her.

Emily catches Katniss’ eye and the girl gives her a small nod in the opposite direction the other are walking in. Emily nods and the two break off from the group as they walk along the upper levels of District 13. It’s quiet as they do so, most people still eating lunch and leaving the halls empty.

When they reach a long hallway Katniss breaks their silence, “I hope you don’t mind me asking for you.”

“It’s fine Katniss, I understand everyone else is a bit preoccupied at the moment,” Emily replies brushing her concern away.

Katniss gives her an odd look, “You were the only person I thought of to join me.”

Emily stops in her tracks as she turns to look at Katniss, her eyes already on her. She scrunches her eyebrows together in confusion as she tries to make sense of her words. The action seems to make Katniss realize something as her features soften.

“You know you’re my friend too Emily,” she tells her softly.

Emily’s heart clenches when the words reach her ears, her throat filling with a lump as she looks over Katniss. She knows she’s being genuine, because of how vulnerable her face is as she sees Emily take in the new piece of information.

Emily clears her throat but still can’t dispel the wavering in her voice as she speaks, “Thank you Katniss.”

They continue their walk in silence and Emily is left in her thoughts, Arabella’s words ringing back in her mind as she realizes Haymitch and Finnick think of her in such a way too and have openly admitted to it. The realization makes her throat close up again because it must mean they actually do care about her.

Katniss and she eventually part ways when they are reminded of their upcoming departure. They leave to go pack any essentials but Emily knows she won’t have much to pack. Anything that had been important to her was still buried under the rubble of their old living quarters. So it took no time at all for Emily to pack up her clothes and take a few pieces of paper and pencils which were already dull.

A sigh left her mouth, she knew the war had been progressing as the days passed but she could feel that it was all building up now. The end was near and Emily’s stomach turned at the thought of people now worrying about her.

She wondered if she too cared for them, she had tried to distance herself and keep everyone away but being trapped in district 13 had made her feel incredibly lonely. She knows in some way they mean something to her. Her thoughts return to the memories of her time since the games, the way Finnick had so easily taken up the role of showing her around the district, the way Haymitch had let her hideaway with him from the other victors, how Arabella had always been so kind to her since she arrived. She swallowed thickly as she thought of anything bad happening to them.

Along the way she had grown more attached to them than she had even realized, even Katniss who she was now following into dangerous territory just so she could have a friend along the way.

It was scary, how they had found a way into her heart without her even knowing but the thought of needing to protect them surged through her with new vigor. She did not want them to have to face the burden of war alone.

A hard knock on her door startled her out of her thoughts and she quickly wiped the frown from her face as she got up. She had barely taken a few steps when the knocking became more consistent and rough against the door, echoing around her room. Quickly she grew concerned and quickened her pace, opening the door to see Finnick on the other side with an angry look on his face.

“Finnick?” She questioned completely baffled by his sudden appearance.

At the sound of his name, a small scowl appeared on his face as he pushed himself into her room.

Emily’s eyebrows rose, as did her annoyance at the way he barged into her room.

“Come in I guess,” she said sarcastically, as she closed her door. However, the comment instantly had him turning to her and narrowing his eyes.

“You’re leaving,” He said.

Emily’s eyebrows furrowed, “What?”

Finnick shook his head, “What are you thinking?”

Emily narrowed her eyes at his tone, “What are you getting at?”

“Emily, you had a hard time when you came back from your last mission, do you think this will be any different?” He asked, his anger diminishing slightly to make way for his worry.

Emily tightened her jaw, not liking the implication that she couldn’t do something because of her past reaction nor liking that he brought it up.

“I fail to see how this is any of your concern Odair. I can handle myself or do you need a reminder of that?” She said threateningly as she stalked closer to him.

Finnick shook his head as he let out a scoff, “Emily things have been different with you and you know it.”

“What are you talking about?”

Finnick let out a tired sigh, “You’re ignoring me, you can hardly stand to be in my presence and I’m tired of it.”

Emily swallowed thickly at the confrontation, she knew she hadn’t been subtle but she hadn’t prepared herself for how this talk would go and her nerves were starting to get to her.

The anger that was once clear on Finnick’s face turned into worry and pain, “I just don’t understand, did I do something wrong? It’s like one moment you’re fine and the next I can hardly get through to you.”

The expression on his face had guilt clawing its way through her, and a pang was sent through her heart that she covered up with anger.

“I know it’s not fair to ask you to explain yourself but I can barely keep up with you. Can you just talk to me, Emily?”

Emily looked away from him, not liking how his eyes looked so vulnerable.

How did she explain to him how she’s been feeling when she doesn’t even understand it herself? How could she describe the anger that flickered in her whenever she caught sight of him and Annie together or the hurt at looking at him when she felt like she had been a distraction to him the whole time? And how would she describe the nerves that wrought her body when his eyes would search her face making her cheeks warm up and her thoughts grow muddled?

It made no sense to her and she couldn’t begin to describe it without becoming a mess, so she chose not to. She hid those feelings away to dissect them for later.

“I’m not ignoring you,” She said as she turned back to him, a neutral look on her face that told Finnick she was once again shutting him out.

“We’ve all got things we have to focus on and now more than ever I can not be distracted by other things. You understand, don’t you? You’ve got Annie to worry about, and I’ve got to focus on these missions.”

Finnick looked at her, hurt clear on his face as his eyes burned into hers. He blinked a few times, his expression changing as his jaw tensed and he straightened himself out.

“Yes, we’ve all got things to worry about now. Have a safe trip.”

He gave her a quick nod before striding out of the room and leaving her alone once again. Emily kept looking at the door, even after minutes passed by.

Something had felt wrong, she knew she had messed up in some way and had hurt him but she didn’t know how nor did she think she could speak to him about it without confessing the jumble of emotions that swept over her whenever he came into the room.

She sat back down on her bed, suddenly dreading leaving after having such a talk with Finnick.

She threw her head into her hands and let out a long sigh, why did all things become complicated when they came to Finnick Odair?

She tried to busy herself around the room until dinner came around but there was nothing that could keep her busy. Her mind consistently found its way back to her conversation with Finnick and the way he had looked while they spoke.

By the time she was walking down to the cafeteria, she felt miserable and tired. It didn't help that the emotions were so clearly displayed on her face and Haymitch had quickly caught on that she was upset over something. He was fortunately not one to snoop around and they had eaten in silence as dinner passed them by.

As she ate and looked around she spotted two people and quickly turned away as her anxiety rose up.

Annie had been released from the hospital. She and Finnick sat a few tables away, and from the small glance Emily had caught of them it was clear Annie was a bit frightened from all the people around her, as she clung tightly to Finnick.

Her food suddenly felt lacking and she put her fork down, pushing her plate away at the same time. Haymitch across from her raised an eyebrow and let out a sigh.

“Okay, what’s going on?” He asked, making Emily stop her small glare at her tray and look up at him.

Emily gave him a look then looked around, “Not here,” she told him.

He raised an eyebrow again but all she sent him back was a shrug. He frowned not wanting to leave his food but nodded and the two rose.

They walked to his room instead, it being closer than hers. It had interested her when she stepped in. She had always thought Haymitch would be messy and have things lying around everywhere. In fact, she was sure she had heard Katniss and even Effie mention something about that but his room was nothing like that.

His bed was made and any trinkets he had gotten were neatly placed on his desk. Nothing littered the ground and the air smelled fresh and nothing like alcohol. Although that smell had long ago been washed away from Haymitch with his lack of drinks since he arrived at District 13.

Haymitch had sat down on his bed, patting the seat next to him which she took.

She took a moment to think, not knowing what to say because truthfully she had known she didn’t want to say anything about Finnick. She had just wanted to get away from the cafeteria and away from the image of Annie and Finnick so close together.

Instead, she talked about something she had thought about earlier.

“Do you care about me?” She asked him, turning to look at him as she said so.

His face had instantly looked perplexed at her question, obviously not expecting it.

“I-well yes” He offered, still confused by her question.

“Why?” She asked.

“Well, I can’t really say, sometimes things like this just creep up on you.”

She nodded, turning away as she thought over his answer.

“Do you care about me?” He asked in the silence that followed.

Emily turned back to him, her answer already coming out, “Yes.”

“Good or else this would’ve been very awkward,” He told her with a slight smile.

She rolled her eyes but a smile also appeared on her face.

“Katniss told me you’re leaving tomorrow.”

Her smile disappeared, “I am,” she wondered if Haymitch would also be angry with her and she prepared herself for another argument.

“Be careful. District two has been the hardest to convince so far.”

Emily let herself relax when she realized Haymitch would not argue with her and she nodded her head, “I’ve heard but hopefully Katniss will be able to change their minds while we’re there.”

Haymitch nodded, “Look after her will you?…she’s just had a hard time recently.”

Emily nodded along, setting a hand on his arm “Don’t worry, I’ll look after her.”

Haymitch set a hand over hers, “Thanks, sweetheart.”

She sent him a small smile, their gazes locked on each other. She could feel something shift in the air, something she couldn’t quite decipher but it was heavy and made her mouth go dry. She hadn’t realized but they had somehow shifted closer to each other, both so focused on the other.

It was so slow and hesitant but their lips eventually found each other. Neither was entirely sure of what they were doing but they became comfortable far quicker once they realized what was happening. Haymitch slid his hand up her arm and to her neck, the trail of his fingers making her shiver.

Emily found herself pushing her own hand around his neck and pushing her fingers through his air. Their kiss remained, gentle but as his lips pressed against her the image of Haymitch faded away to someone else.

Her fingers knotted into blonde hair and the smell of sandalwood drifted to her nose as she imagined another person filling the space between her hands and lips.

The kiss slowly ended, Emily slowly opening her eyes, disappointed that sea-green eyes weren’t staring back at her. That thought however made many things click into place because she understood now what her emotions towards Finnick meant.

Haymitch gave her a sad smile, “Who did you pretend I was?”

Emily’s eyes widened as a deep blush covered her cheeks and she pulled away from him.

“I didn’t-”

“Emily, you and I both know that whatever happened didn’t feel right,” he replied with a knowing look.

She looked down at her hands, “I’m sorry.”

“There’s no need to apologize but I do think it’s time to be honest to yourself Emily.”

She shook her head, “No, nothing would come from it.”

“Emily-”

She shook her head, standing up, “Haymitch, leave it. He’s in love with someone else, I will not ruin that.”

He gave her a sad look, one that almost looked like pity, “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” He asked.

“Pity me.”

“I’m not-” He stopped when she gave him a look, “Sorry.”

“It’s not like I need him either way.”

“Maybe not but it’s okay to feel disappointed Emily. Sometimes it's okay to want more in your life,” he told her gently.

She pursed her lips, “All I want is for this war to be over, that’s what matters most.”

“Em-”

“I need to go speak with Boggs about the mission, I didn’t get much of a briefing earlier so if you’ll excuse me.”

Haymitch looked her over but eventually nodded.

As she made her way to the door she could hear Haymitch call to her, “Take care of yourself, Emily.”

She looked over her shoulder, “You too Haymitch.”

Then she was gone, millions of thoughts rushing through her head as she walked down the flights of stairs to her own room. She did need to talk to Boggs but her head was too full of other worries to seek the man out at the moment.

She had a rather clear realization with the kiss she and Haymitch shared, one where she wished she could turn back time and live in blissful ignorance because now it all made perfect sense. The information that she had feelings for Finnick had made her upset, sick, and relieved.

She was glad she finally had an answer for all the things she had been feeling and why they were so strongly affected by Finnick but it hardly outweighed her disgust with herself. How could she let herself gain feelings for someone who had killed her brother? Being on talking terms with Finnick and even allowing him into her life to some extent had already caused turmoil in her mind but now that she knew she liked Finnick she felt guilty.

She knew she couldn’t fault him for surviving, in fact, she had somewhat accepted that he did what he had to do but still his hands had once been covered in the blood that ran through her brother. She was betraying her brother by having these feelings and for the first time, she was grateful for Annie’s presence.

She knew that because of Annie their relationship would never progress to anything else. She could distance herself more, claim the war was the reason and he would be okay because he had Annie and he wouldn’t leave her when he just got her back. Those thoughts easily made her calm down because she knew that it would be fine, nothing would happen between her and Finnick and that was how it was supposed to be. Now if only she could convince her heart of that fact.

Chapter Text

The trip to District two was a quiet one. Katniss and she seemed to both be lost in their own thoughts and words failed them. Emily focused her attention on the world passing by as she took in the multiple districts they flew over. She had been to each one after her win in the Hunger Games but she had been too on edge to really pay attention to anything happening.

She remembered wanting to go back home and hating that every moment she was getting further and further away. Times were much different from then, she no longer wished for the safety of her home. She knew that if she went back home now, nothing would be the same as it was before.

She used to love the isolation and the darkness of her home. She used to feel that if she could melt into the dark corners of her home she would be kept safe and untouched by the world's cruel fingers.

But the cruel things crept into the well-crafted walls she had built. They had sucked her back into the world she had tried so hard to escape. It almost made her laugh, the way she had avoided the Capitol and sacrificed her own loved ones for peace just to turn around and stand right beside the face of the rebellion.

It seemed like Katniss wasn’t too keen on her role either, the girl had become quieter ever since the Victor’s return. When they had gotten to District two most of the talk was filled with plans on how they could make the civilians surrender. It went on and on like that for days but as time went by she found herself uninterested in the talk about trying to take over District two. It reminded her too much of the way Plutarch had so easily brushed aside the deaths of Peeta’s makeup team.

Death seemed to be something everyone was comfortable with now. In many ways, Emily wished she were as numb to it as they were. She wished she was easily able to make all the hard decisions without the guilt settling down on her shoulders.

It was tiring listening to the brutal plans and the disregard for human life. It led to her and Katniss spending more time together as the days went on, the young girl was also disinterested in the tactics being used to try and flush out the citizens of District two.

The two often sat close when the ideas were being pushed around but neither was particularly skilled in launching any attack and their opinions weren’t needed, so they sat around, waiting for orders and for a plan to eventually unfold.

After a few days Gale, Beetee, and Haymitch joined them. Katniss didn’t seem too pleased to see Gale within the company and she remained in a similar mood as he and Beetee joined the discussion for making plans.

Haymitch sent her a small smile a gesture which she returned before returning to Katniss’ side as another meeting commenced.

Emily turned her attention to the middle of the room where everyone was starting to pile in. Once everyone has settled a call with President Coin was started. Many seemed reluctant to any ideas the new recruits were proposing, telling them that it would only result in more loss on their side while Coin pushed for them to try anything to take over District two. Emily was on the fence about who to side with. On one hand, she knew they had to take over District two in order to move forward but on another, it was pointless to continue putting lives at risk if their plans weren’t foolproof.

Her focus went back onto the group when she heard Gale’s voice echo throughout the room. From the corner of her eye, she could see Katniss stiffen at hearing his voice but her face remained neutral.

“Would it be enough to disable the fortress? Instead of taking it?”

“What do you have in mind?” Commander Paylor asked.

“You think of it like a wolf den, you’re not going to fight your way in, so you’ve got two choices you trap the wolves inside or you flush them out. If we can’t attack straight on couldn’t we use a hovercraft to strike around it? We’ll use the mountains, we hit weak spots and the peaks.”

Beetee continued for him, “We can design the bomb to target in sequences using seismic data.”

“Trigger avalanches,” Commander Paylor summarized.

Emily’s eyebrows wrinkled in concern at hearing their plan, were they simply going to bury them alive?

“Block all exists, cut off their supplies, you make it impossible for them to launch their hovercraft,” Gale added.

Emily stood as she listened to his proposal, feeling sick from what he was saying they should do to the citizens of two.

“Bury them alive?” Commander Paylor voices.

“We’d forfeit any chance to control the weapons,” Coin cut in.

“Yes, but we’d face a weakened Capitol,” Beetee replied.

Emily turned to look at Katniss, seeing the girl wearing a similar look of disgust and horror on her face at hearing what Gale and Beetee were saying.

“There’s civilians in there, they should be given a chance to surrender.” Boggs eventually said, “Use one of the supply tunnels for the evacuation.”

“It’s a luxury we weren’t given when they firebombed twelve,” Gale replied and Emily almost wanted to scoff at his blind rage. He was willing to kill innocent people simply because the circumstances with him hadn’t been fair?

“There’s gotta be a better way,” Katniss replied from beside her, Emily barely noticing that she had gotten up too.

“I suggest we try the avalanche but leave the train tunnel alone. Civilians can escape into the square where our armies will be waiting for their surrender,” Coin proposed.

“We should have every available medic standing by,” Commander Paylor suggested.

“And if they won’t surrender?” Commander Lyme questioned.

“Then we will need a compelling voice to persuade them,” She finished, the rest knowing she meant Katniss as they nodded and started to set up preparations for the attack.

Emily and Katniss stood together for a moment as people started to move around, multiple orders being shouted around as everyone prepared for what was to come next. Katniss became stiffer and schooled her features into an emotionless mask, turning away from everyone and walking back to one of the windows looking out at the mountain.

Emily was turning to follow after the girl to make sure she was alright but her steps came to a halt when she saw Gale join her side. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at him, the little respect she had for him completely falling apart. Gale seemed to be someone who was committed to winning the war but Emily could tell he had no empathy when it came to getting there.

He had lost a lot, a fact she didn’t ignore and felt sorry for. She could not imagine having District 11 reduced to ashes and be left as only a memory to her but she could tell Gale was taking his anger out on anything. His lack of guilt when he spoke about possibly leaving hundreds to die slowly under a mountain left a bad taste in her mouth and she could fully understand why Katniss had been so distant from the man.

“You might start to burn the back of his clothes if you keep staring at him like that.”

She turned to see an amused Haymitch, who followed her gaze and landed on Gale’s form.

“What do you think about what he said?” She asked him, ignoring his comment.

He let out a sigh as he turned to look back at Gale who now had a pretty angry Katniss standing next to him.

“I think he’s trying to quell his need for revenge and unfortunately a lot of people think like him. They’re all quite tired of the Capitol and the idea of freedom is blinding. At this point, I’m sure many will try to reach that freedom in whatever way they can.”

A frown made its way onto her face as she thought of other people being so careless with innocent lives.

Emily turned her head towards the window when she started to hear the hovercraft engines fire up. She walked up to a window and watched as multiple pilots boarded their own ships before they all flew up together. Haymitch came to stand next to her looking at the hovercrafts with a similar frown on his face.

When the bombs started to fall Emily couldn’t help but flinch, the memories from her time in the District 13 bunker coming back to her, even from this far the sounds echoed all around her.

She knew District two wasn’t nearly as equipped underground as thirteen was and she wondered how many lives would be lost from the falling debris. She wondered how many innocent people would never have a chance to make it out of Snow’s system before they were killed.

She clenched her jaw and turned away but she couldn’t escape the noise, a reminder that they were not so innocent themselves.

The bombs fell for a long time, the others crying out in victory all around her. She could not understand their happiness.

Haymitch didn’t try and comfort her, he knew there wasn’t anything he could say that could make her feel better. He couldn’t tell her there was a better way of going about everything because he knew that sometimes one needed to be brutal to survive. That was just the way their world was. The victors more than anyone would understand that point but he assumed Emily must’ve just been tired of it all.

Tired of the system and the killing that came from it. Tired of having to argue with herself about what was right and what wasn’t. He could often see the despair on her face when they were alone and he wondered if he ever wore the same expression. Perhaps all victors knew the true meaning of despair and they had learned to master it long ago but it hurt to see her in such a way. Because in the end he knew they were getting closer to their freedom and yet none of them seemed hopeful about the idea.

Katniss had become more of a robot within the last few days, pushing to do anything for the rebellion in order to get her mind off of Peeta and Emily was constantly blaming herself for things out of her control.

If he was honest they both reminded him too much of himself. The way he used to robotically go through his days, blaming himself for every single thing that happened ever since his name was called for the Hunger Games all those years ago. It felt like life was throwing mirrors up around him and he desperately wanted to shake them out of it.

He felt a hand slip into his and looked up to his right. Emily was holding onto him, she was still facing the opposite wall away from the mountain. She was tense, he could tell from the way her jaw was clenched and the way her fingers tightened around his.

He gently squeezed her hand back, letting her know that he was there for her.

“Mr. Abernathy, Ms. Greene, you’re needed with the Mockingjay,”

Emily slipped her hand out of Haymitch’s as she followed along after Katniss and Boggs. She caught Katniss’ eye and noticed a questioning look behind them but brushed it off once the group began to walk.

The group of four was taken down to the first level of the building where she and Katniss were prepped with armor. Although Katniss would be the only one doing a propo, Boggs felt that Emily needed to be protected with her close proximity to Katniss. So while the two were put into their outfits Haymitch was given cards on what Katniss was supposed to say when the cameras came on. However Katniss usually wasn’t one to follow a script and she quickly denied reading it, something Haymitch wasn’t surprised about.

When they arrived at the tunnel Katniss was escorted forward with Boggs while Haymitch and she stayed behind the makeshift barriers the rebels had made. Night had already fallen by the time they started to shoot everything and Emily was surprised to see that none of the civilians from district 2 had made their way out of the tunnels.

Katniss was told to stand in front of the tunnels to make her propo but before she could even start a noise sounded within the tunnels and she was quickly ushered behind Boggs as the other rebels around put up their firearms.

Dozens of civilians from district two came out with the train. They all looked tired and dirty but one, in particular, caught the attention of the rest. He carried a weapon and upon the rebels seeing this he was told to drop it and their own guns were raised.

It ended up being for naught for Katniss had been able to calm him down. Emily had always admired the young girl for being able to turn a conversation in her favor. She always seemed to flourish under pressure and Emily only hoped that if she was ever caught in such a situation she too would remain calm.

Their time in two however was quickly finished after that. Not all were convinced by the Mockingjay’s words to go against Snow. Some were too blinded by his “protection” that they felt the need to defend his honor.

They were all soon rushed into a hovercraft and sent back to District thirteen after Katniss had been shot.

She was sent back with a group of medics and Boggs while the rest of the Victors were put into another Hovercraft. Emily hated it. She hated not knowing if her friend was okay or the fact that no one had answers because everything had happened so quickly.

All she knew was one moment Katniss had been standing and the next she was laying on the ground as rebels all around them were firing their weapons. The sounds still rang in her ears as the shots echoed all around the tunnels and the citizens of two yelled out in horror.

Emily didn’t think she could ever get used to war.

But still, she tried to remain calm, she shut the emotions in a well-crafted mask and left them to rot in the back of her mind. Despite what had just happened her only thoughts went back to Finnick and proving him wrong.

His words had rung out in her head while she was in two. They had always seemed to make their presence known when she couldn't sleep. She had laid awake mortified because she knew he had witnessed her breakdown. It haunted her to know she had shown so many how weak she was and she had made a silent oath to never let her emotions overpower her like that again.

She could not allow her feelings and fears to stop her from continuing her missions and bringing this war to an end. She would have time to mourn, to cry, and to let her anger out once it was all done but for now she had to hold herself together. She had done it before, for years in fact after her Hunger Games and she could do it again. Never would she let someone see her so vulnerable again.

When they made it back to District 13 a rush of anxiety settled in her stomach that she knew had nothing to do with what had occurred in District 2.

No, this anxiety was wrapped in anger and disappointment and she knew it had to do with Finnick Odair. However, she knew it was inappropriate to think of him at a time like this when Katniss had been hurt out in the field. So she did was she vowed she would do and pushed those thoughts and feelings to the back of her mind and locked them up in an imaginary chest.

Emily followed after Boggs and the medics to the hospital. Gale and Haymitch were both by her side as they all rushed down with them. However, as soon as they got to the hospital none of them including Boggs were allowed into the room as they assessed the damage. It was easy for them to figure out the extent of Katniss’ injuries, mostly she just had horrible bruising. They were lucky the bullet had hit her armor or the damage definitely would’ve been worse.

All that was left to do was wait for the girl to wake up as Coin and Plutarch assessed what they would do next. Although Katniss had been injured, their plan had worked and District Two was no longer able to operate giving the rebels exactly what they needed to be able to make their way into the Capitol.

It was a huge win, one Coin had made sure to mention in her speech the next day when she addressed District thirteen. She had asked the Victors to stand behind her again for it and Emily had felt incredibly stiff where she stood. She was glad Haymitch had been placed in between herself and Finnick so she didn’t have to see him next to Annie.

She had to refrain from rolling her eyes when the citizens of 13 started doing their chant. It always grated on her nerves and the last few times she had heard it it was always at the expense of others getting hurt. Unfortunately, dinner was after her speech and she couldn't easily get away. What was worse was that the Victors seemed to gravitate together and it ended with them sitting together.

She had briefly wondered if she could fake a cold and escape all the pleasantries and small talk but she knew Haymitch and Beetee would see right through it considering she had been fine in District two.

“How is Katniss doing?” Beetee’s voice asked breaking through the silence that had settled on their small group.

Emily and Haymitch made eye contact but it was clear to both of them Emily would not be the one answering.

He playfully narrowed his eyes before answering Beetee, “She’s doing good, hasn’t woken up yet but they assume she should wake soon since the injury wasn’t too bad.”

“It was horrible to see,” The voice was soft, and it made Emily slightly tighten her hold on her fork. She knew who it belonged to without even looking up and the softness of the voice instantly made her feel bad for the bitterness she felt toward the girl.

She had never even spoken to her and she had already felt annoyed with her. She knew logically that she was being entirely stupid for having those feelings toward Annie when she did not deserve them so she locked away those thoughts too in her makeshift chest and tried to make them fade away.

She took a deep breath trying to steel herself for the conversation and looked up. Annie was already looking at her and Emily had to try her hardest not to flinch when she looked into her eyes. They were similar to Finnick’s.

The only difference was Finnick had more blue in his eyes than Annie did.

“I heard you two were there,” She spoke again moving her eyes from Emily to Haymitch.

Emily hadn’t realized she had been holding her breath until Annie was looking away from her.

Emily swallowed down her feelings, knowing that if she didn’t get a hold of herself quickly then Finnick would think he was right about it all.

“Yes,” She eventually said before taking a sip of her water so her mouth didn’t feel so dry.

A small frown made its way onto Annie’s face and she had to stop herself from narrowing her eyes at the action. Emily knew Annie was just trying to be nice but it felt more like she was pitying them and she hated when anyone acted in such a way toward her. She had enough pity from random strangers throughout the years and she didn’t want any more of it.

“Finnick said you’ve been on other missions too, are they always so scary?” Annie asked as she nibbled on her bottom lip.

For the first time since they arrived Emily allowed her eyes to roam next to Annie.

Finnick was already looking at her and she hated the way her stomach instantly erupted in butterflies.

She raised an eyebrow, “Has he now?” She questioned as she turned her attention back to Annie.

Annie innocently nodded her head not knowing that those words had struck a chord with Emily.

Emily tried her hardest not to send Finnick a glare. Not only had he told her something about leaving but he had then gone and spoken to Annie about it too. She knew they were together but it made her stomach churn to know Finnick had spoken about her and maybe even spoke about the way she had not been prepared to leave for another mission.

But Emily couldn’t quite help herself as the anger started to rise in her, the heat starting up in her neck and ears as she thought about what Finnick might’ve said behind her back.

She let out an unexpected laugh as she set her fork down.

She shook her head as her laughter died down, a small smile still present on her face as she turned back to Annie.

“Scary is not the word I’d use, even if you have been told otherwise,” Emily said sending a meaningful look to Finnick which made him instantly stiffen in his seat.

“It’s more anxiety-inducing, I mean one hardly ever knows what’s going to happen but if I was scared I wouldn’t have gone at all.”

She was lying straight through her teeth, she knew she had been terrified when she went on her mission to rescue the victors but her pride was screaming at her to remain intact after the conversation with Finnick.

“She definitely isn’t scared,” Haymitch commented with an amused smile as he bumped shoulders with her.

Instantly she felt more relaxed as she turned to him, already having his eyes on her. She sent him a questioning look as he let out a sigh.

“Oh come on sweetheart,” He said as he shook his head, “You ran out to Katniss after she had been shot. You didn’t even think twice about how that could’ve ended your life. When I told you to look after her I didn’t think you’d take it so far.”

A small blush made its way onto her face at having the events retold to her. It was a dumb decision when she thought of it but her first thought had only been to take care of the girl and she didn’t think about the consequences. For someone who really was worried about preserving her survival, she was honestly very careless with herself.

“Well she is the Mockingjay,” She replied trying to defend herself.

Haymitch sent her an amused smile making her scowl.

“Wipe that expression off your face Abernathy,” She told him but the statement only seemed to amuse him more.

“Going back to last names are we?”

She simply narrowed her eyes at his response.

He slung an arm around her shoulder pulling her closer to him as she rolled her eyes.

“I’ll use my name to let you visit Katniss if you stop pouting,” He said trying to ease the frown she wore on her face.

“Promise?” She asked.

He let out a sigh, “Promise.”

She promptly lost the frown on her face as she smirked at him, “You’re too easy to fool old man.”

Haymitch let out a scoff as he nudged her side, letting go of her.

“Old man? That’s not what you thought when-” He was cut off swiftly as Emily elbowed him in the stomach making him let out a grunt as he turned to scowl at her.

They heard a soft laugh from across and they turned to see Annie smiling at them.

“You two have a nice friendship,” she told them.

“Nice isn’t the word I’d use with Emily involved,” Haymitch muttered as he rubbed his side.

Emily rolled her eyes, trying to ignore the way she could feel Finnick’s eyes glued onto her. She didn’t know what she would find in his look but she was afraid it would be something that made her think far too much.

She started to see people get up from their tables, noting that dinner was starting to come to a close and she quickly looked over at Haymitch expectantly.

He raised an eyebrow then took a look around, “Fine fine. I’m finished.”

She sent him a small smile and took hold of his hand to drag him up with her.

“Greene, are you trying to break me?” He rhetorically asked as he tried to grab his tray.

“Oh Finnick and I can take them for you,” Annie spoke up halting their movements as they tried to clean up.

Emily looked up at her in surprise, “What?”

“We can take them for you, it’s clear your in a rush,” She told her with a gentle smile.

Emily’s eyes went from looking at Annie to Finnick who seemed focused on something else. She tried to quell the disappointment she felt at being ignored but turned back to Annie and gave her a genuine smile for the first time,

“Thank you. We appreciate it so much.”

Annie nodded, “Of course. I hope Katniss is doing better.”

Emily’s voice softened as she saw the genuine worry in her voice, “Thank you, Annie.”

She gave her one more look before dragging Haymitch away who was still complaining about her pulling him so hard. Distantly Finnick could hear Emily reply telling him that he really was an old man before another argument started up that was swallowed up by the conversations in the cafeteria.

He had thought he would’ve felt differently when he had first seen her. In fact, he was set on feeling angry, hoping his anger would last until she came back so he wouldn’t have to think about the fact that the last conversation they had was them screaming at each other.

But when she had left for district two his anger had quickly turned to guilt and that soon melted away to worry. They had no communication and the only news he got was from Haymitch who also knew next to nothing. Then when he left there had been radio silence.

He had tried to distract himself with the well-being of Annie, trying to get her to adjust to District 13. It had been easier than he had expected but he supposed any place would be better than the Capitol. It helped that she was actually safe in 13 too, that was something he had never been able to promise her before.

He had tried to feel relieved when she showed signs of getting more comfortable but he couldn’t help the worry that overtook him whenever his mind wandered back to Emily.

When the propo Katniss was doing finally appeared on t.v his heart leaped painfully. He had searched around the crowd hoping to see a glimpse of Emily but she had never shown. In fact, the whole broadcast had made him worry even more when he saw what had happened to Katniss.

He hadn’t been able to sleep that night, especially when he had heard that the team had arrived and the medics had been called. He didn’t see her until Coin made her speech. He hadn’t been able to explain the relief he had felt at seeing her living and breathing right in front of him.

He had wanted to talk to her and hear her voice, he wanted to see the warmth in her eyes as they looked at him but Emily was intent on ignoring him.

The first time they do lock eyes he can immediately see her anger. It makes her eyes look sharper and he knows that she isn’t pleased with him. His posture stiffens as she regards him and he can’t help the jolt his heart does when her eyes shift away from him.

He feels disappointed and his annoyance starts to catch up with him as he sees how easily she is able to ignore him. Her laugh startles him out of his thoughts and he can’t help but be transfixed. He’s not even sure what she found funny, or if he had missed something that was said while he was lost in his own head but he finds that he doesn’t really care all that much when he can see the amusement on her face.

He hasn’t seen her smile in so long, at least not with him.

He watches her, even when she refuses to look at him and he wonders to himself how he had allowed himself to get so wrapped up in her. He hadn’t realized it, not until the mission with saving the Victors but her safety had meant much more to him.

He knew he had felt something from before then, he had caught himself staring at her too long or thinking about her words late at night when he couldn’t sleep but he felt like she had snuck up on him exactly like how Annie had. His feelings for her had started to grow with his curiosity and it wasn’t until she was put in harm's way did he really understand the extent of his feelings.

He wish he could pinpoint the moment it had changed, maybe he was doomed from the first time he spoke to her all those days ago in the Capitol while they were being reintroduced. Maybe if he had just kept to himself and worried about the Mockingjay plan he wouldn’t be in such a predicament. Because it felt almost like he was trapped in his own feelings.

How did he begin to tell her what he thought when she didn’t want to speak to him, let alone look at him?

It made him angry because she was shutting him out and he just desperately wanted to speak to her and know she was okay.

He had focused back on her as the conversation went on, allowing himself to feel the jealousy that came with watching her relationship with Haymitch.

The way the two connected had come as a mystery to him. He hadn’t known why they had relied so much on the other but it was clear they had continuously grown closer. He watched as Emily slipped her hand into his and he couldn’t help the frown that appeared on his face.

The food in front of him tasted like ash in his mouth and he suddenly felt like emptying his stomach in the nearest toilet. He wished for them to leave quickly so he wouldn’t have to watch how they so easily got along and when they finally did he found that he felt no better.

He had excused himself quickly, escorting Annie back to her room before settling back down in his.

He ran a hand through his hair as he let out a tired sigh.

It all felt silly to him. To be so affected when he and Emily weren’t anything to each other.

Although he supposed that statement was false because Emily was something to him.

He shook his head, it was no use wasting his time thinking about her when she didn’t want to be around him. He hoped that if this continued he could one day forget about his feelings towards Emily and maybe then it wouldn’t hurt so much to let her go.

Chapter Text

There had been no update on Katniss that night, despite the reports saying she’d be fine and make a full recovery, Emily was worried.

Emily had been spending more and more time in the hospital whenever she had free time and wasn’t being pushed to do her duties. It had annoyed her greatly when Coin had insisted that the rest of the group continue acting as if things were okay so that panic didn’t arise within the district.

The only upside of going to the Hospital was being able to talk to Johanna. Emily had felt bad that it took her so long to even visit the girl in the first place but when the Victors had first been rescued Johanna had been kept on a strict schedule so that she could reach full health. Visitors had not been allowed, and then shortly after Emily had left for District two spending her days thinking about what came next in the war.

When she had first passed by Johanna’s room she had been hesitant to enter. She didn’t know if Johanna would be angry with her but a part of her wanted someone to be angry. She hated that everyone around her was so quick to push the blame off of her when Emily knew she had played a part in the escape plan failing, despite how the others tried to reassure her. She wasn’t stupid and she knew if she had just been more trusting of her allies then perhaps the other victors would never have been taken.

Emily had stood outside the door for many minutes, telling herself that she had to face Johanna at one point. But she couldn’t help the way her hands started to shake or the way bile rose up in her throat whenever she thought of how Johanna had looked the day of the rescue.

Her feelings had only heightened when she finally managed to enter the room. She constantly moved her eyes from Johanna’s sleeping form to her monitors to make sure she was really alive and breathing. It was during one of those instances when she looked back at the girl to see she was awake and already looking at her.

Emily’s heart had instantly stilled at seeing her brown eyes. There was a hardness in her gaze, one that had not been built from the games or from being left alone, no this look had formed from the days she had spent tortured.

Emily had felt the frown on her face too late for Johanna had been quick to call her out. She had told her she didn’t want her pity and to stop looking as if someone had just killed her cat. Those few words quickly released the tension Emily had in her body and she was finally able to speak to the girl without feeling as if she would explode at any moment.

Johanna had been quick to tease Emily about her new role as Katniss’ “best friend” as she called it. Emily had rolled her eyes at the statement and had tried to keep the conversation light for as long as possible but the guilt that always seemed to settle in her mind had easily made its presence known.

Before she could help it she was blurting out an apology.

“I’m sorry,” she looked away, instead focusing on the white walls across from her, “I should’ve trusted all of you more that day.”

A few seconds of silence fell between them before Johanna’s voice sounded in the room, “I wouldn’t expect anyone to trust so easily in the arena.”

Emily’s eyes found their way back to Johanna’s sitting form. She was no longer looking at her but ahead as she thought over her next words.

Slowly Johanna looked back to Emily, acceptance clear in her eyes, “We all knew what we signed up for. I knew the risks.”

Johanna shifted in her bed as she raised an eyebrow at her, “Don’t go acting so mournful. Katniss is rubbing off on you and soon I’ll find you both unbearable to be around.”

A reluctant scoff had left Emily’s mouth at Johanna’s easy nature about the whole thing. It was clear to both of them that she was not ready to speak about what happened to her. She hadn’t known Johanna for long but she knew the hard exterior she often hid behind was a mask she was constantly wearing now. Johanna didn’t like people to see her as weak and it probably didn’t help that she was confined to the hospital showing that she was clearly not okay.

Emily had let the topic drop, she didn’t want to push Johanna into reliving any of the horrors she faced. Instead, the two spoke about District thirteen. From the conversation Emily gathered that Johanna didn’t like the place much either however, their reasonings differed on why. Emily had easily hated that she couldn't see the outside world while Johanna had disliked the fact that the doctors had stopped giving her morphine.

When her break was over she said her goodbyes to Johanna and quickly went to check on Katniss but the girl was still soundly sleeping. She had reluctantly left to do her chores upon seeing her unchanged state.

That day she had been asked to help in the laundry room, one of their workers had fallen ill and they had asked for extra help. Emily had been volunteered for the job upon Coin’s request.

She had wished to deny the motion and just do her normal job in the gardening room but she knew not to mess with Coin’s patience. So she tied up her hair and pulled her jumpsuit down halfway, readying herself for the hot day ahead.

Frank had greeted her at the door, wearing his bright smile. He had asked her how she was getting along and they exchanged small talk before he left her to start preparing clothes to be delivered.

Emily had to admit that she was quite proud of herself for being able to navigate through district 13, only getting confused a handful of times.

Once she fell into the routine the job became easier and she was glad she didn’t have to interact with as many people considering most were out doing their own jobs as well. She had felt a bit odd just wandering into people’s rooms after she had not heard an answer but Frank had assured her that it was common for them to put the clothes back into their drawers even if people weren’t in their rooms.

She had tried not to look around too much when she went into people’s rooms but she had been too curious. She had always thought it common to decorate one's home or room but the more she went around the district the more she noticed that most people from 13 had kept their rooms in their original state. Some had little notes or paper figurines and there were only a few pictures she had seen, most of the children that she guessed were lost in the epidemic. Other than those few pictures or notes, most people didn’t seem to try and personalize their rooms.

It was why it became easy for Emily to notice when she entered a Victor's room.

She had instantly known Katniss’ from seeing various herbs and crushed-up plants in bottles, the other giveaway was that she and her family were the only ones who had a cat. The orange feline had instantly run for cover upon hearing the door open, and its large eyes had followed her around the room, slightly growling when she came too close to his hiding spot.

She had simply raised an eyebrow at the furry thing but had quickly left it to its own devices as she moved on to the next room.

The next time she reached a Victor's room she had known instantly who it belonged to. Not from the trinkets kept inside but from the smell of sandalwood that swam around her. She had taken a pause when the scent had reached her nose, anxiety crawling its way into her stomach.

She was standing in Finnick’s room.

It had taken her a few moments to calm herself, the smell of sandalwood making it easier for her heart to stop racing. She took tentative steps deeper into his room. She knew he wasn’t there from the lack of answer when she knocked but she had instantly feared that he was hiding somewhere in the room just waiting to jump out at her.

She was not ready to face Finnick one on one after her revelation and the way she still hadn’t gotten over her anger with him.

Once she realized the room was indeed empty she released a small breath she had been holding. Emily couldn’t help her curiosity as she looked around, wondering what Finnick’s room looked like now. She had not been in his new quarters after the bombing on 13. A small smile appeared on her face when she saw a pile of ropes with a mixture of different knots on each of them.

His bed was a mess of wrinkled blankets and his pillow had been slightly flattened down. She could almost see him sitting on the edge of his bed as he took a piece of rope into his fingers and constantly tried new knots on it.

The door opening behind her caused her to jump in surprise and she quickly turned around, coming face to face with a surprised Annie.

The fear on the girl’s face quickly left once she recognized it was Emily who was standing in front of her.

“Oh, hello Emily. You gave me quite a scare,” She told her softly.

Emily tried to calm her beating heart but she found that with Annie standing in front of her she felt even more nervous. She forced herself to reply to the girl before the silence between them became awkward.

“I’m sorry for that. Was just doing my duties,” Emily says as she holds up the laundry to emphasize her point.

Annie’s head bobs with understanding.

“I’ll get out of your way quickly then. I just left my extra shirt in here.”

Annie quickly went to one of Finnick’s drawers and took out a thermal shirt. She gave Emily one last smile and a wave goodbye before leaving the room.

Emily’s grip tightened on the clothes she was holding. A horrible hollowness had settled in her as Annie’s words sunk in. They rattled on in her mind, echoing in her ears as her eyes stayed locked on the drawer Annie had gone to.

She had known Finnick had cared for her, maybe even loved her. The very thought made her face crumple.

It was going to be a lot harder for Emily than she had thought. She hadn’t realized that she would care so much about the fact that Finnick did not feel the same way for her as she did for him. Afterall for the most part she was either annoyed at him or contemplating whether she should even be his friend.

She shook her head, quickly pushing his clean clothes into the drawer and leaving his room. She was tired of constantly questioning what Finnick meant to her but the only obvious answer she had was that he would not be hers.

No, he was happy with Annie. After the relief she had seen on his face the day he was reunited with Annie, Emily knew she could never take that away from him. It almost made her laugh how months ago she would’ve found happiness in making the man suffer and now she wanted the opposite.

In fact, she didn’t want him to have to go through the horrors of the war. Reluctantly she thought that maybe Finnick having Annie around was for the best. Maybe then he wouldn’t rush into danger with no regard for his safety.

Emily never would have thought she would care about another persons safety in such a way, especially for someone who had caused so much pain in her past. Images of Joshua slowly fill her mind as she thinks about Finnick, the guilt that she always carries around makes its presence known. Her mouth is set in a grim frown as she thinks about how foolish she’s being and she continues on with her duties, willing herself to get lost in her work.

When dinner comes around she doesn’t even head to the cafeteria, instead making her way back to the hospital. She knows she’s running away, like a dog with its tail stuck between its legs but she doesn’t care. She can ignore what she wants, and she can act like it doesn’t affect her, and eventually that will become the truth. Until then she just had to fake it.

She takes her time going through the hallways, letting her mind run wild as she does so.

Her mind draws a complete blank however when she sees Finnick walking down the same hallway, his eyes looking down at a piece of paper he carries. She takes a few moments to take him in. He looks tired, even as he reads she can tell something weighs on him. His eyebrows are scrunched in concentration and her curiosity peaks at what must be so interesting on the paper he holds.

As he draws closer she looks away, keeping her own eyes on the floor in front of her. She holds her breath as he nears, the wind drifting around her as he passes by.

She closes her eyes as his scent reaches her and a pained expression crosses her face at the comfort that instantly fills her belly.

“Emily?” His voice is soft and hesitant. She almost thinks she has just imagined it but then he speaks again and she takes a pause.

She arranges her face into what she hopes is a neutral expression as she turns. It takes everything in her to keep her expression clear when his eyes latch onto hers. It’s unfair how much she misses his presence despite knowing she shouldn’t think those thoughts.

“Finnick,” she replies, and she’s proud that her voice does not waver.

He looks to be contemplating something, and she can’t help the disappointment she feels when all that comes from his mouth is, “How are you feeling?”

“I’m doing fine,” She replies softly.

He stares at her as he gives a small nod. He looks around the hallway a small look of confusion lining his face.

“Where are you going? The cafeteria’s the other way. Not still getting lost are you?”

Emily can’t help the small smile that reaches her face as she shakes her head.

“No. Just visiting Katniss.”

A look of realization passes over him as he looks back down the hallway. When he turns back to her she can see the hesitation back in his eyes.

“Would you mind company?”

Emily instantly notices the butterflies in her stomach and quickly nods he head in the direction Finnick had just come from, inviting him to tag along.

She starts her steps down the hallway again, hearing his footsteps catch up to her quickly.

They’re silent for a few moments, their footsteps being the only noise they both hear.

“Listen about what Annie said at dinner the other day-”

Emily quickly cut him off, “It’s fine. I know that you’re bound to share those things with your partner. I just wish you hadn’t discussed me.”

Emily swallows down the lump that grows in her throat as she thinks of Finnick and Annie discussing her panic when she woke up in the hospital. She can almost see their pitying faces and it makes her face flush with anger.

“Partner?” Finnick questions, ignoring the rest of her statement.

Emily just nods along.

A small laugh leaves his lips. It makes Emily flush darker as anger rises in her. Was he laughing at her? What had he found so funny?

“What?” She snapped.

At seeing Emily’s expression, Finnick calms his laughter but can’t help the grin that lingers on his face, “Annie is a dear friend but we aren’t involved.”

Emily paused in her steps as she turned to him fully, giving him a confused look, “But she came to your room earlier.”

It was Finnick’s turn to look confused, “My room? You were in my room?”

Emily’s eyes slightly widened, “For duties only. Coin assigned me to laundry today.”

Finnick nodded along before explaining, “Annie has nightmares still. Sometimes if she can’t sleep well she’ll come to my room just to make sure this is all real, that she really is out of the Capitol.”

Emily’s stomach churns with guilt. She had so easily let herself get lost in her own feelings that she hadn’t even considered how Annie had been adjusting. Instead, her first thoughts had been to be angry at the girl simply for having Finnick’s attention. Emily felt like a stupid young girl all over again.

“Oh, sorry I misunderstood,” She replied and quickly started walking again.

Finnick caught up quickly, “It’s fine. I know how it must look from the outside.”

Emily nodded along, too caught up in her own embarrassment to give him a proper answer.

“I’m sorry,” Finnick told her quietly once the silence had settled around them again.

Emily's eyes quickly found his, “Sorry?”

Finnick nervously scratched the back of his neck, “For the things I said before you left for two. I shouldn’t have questioned your strength.”

“You’re right, you shouldn’t have. But thank you for apologizing,” there was a small pause, “I forgive you,” she added quietly.

She wished she could say it again as soon as she saw the effect those words had on Finnick. The nervous energy he had been pushing out had instantly vanished and a genuine smile had replaced the worried look on his face.

“You think we could stop acting like two children fighting now?”

Emily shook her head, a smile of her own appearing on her face as relief flushed through her. The previous anger that had surrounded her thoughts on Finnick had all but vanished when she realized Annie and Finnick were not together. It was ridiculous how much a few words had meant to her and yet it had changed everything.

She shared a smile with Finnick and the two continued on their way to the hospital.

It was probably all in her head but she couldn’t help but feel like something was changing between them.

Chapter Text

Emily couldn’t help the way her eyes always sought out Finnick in a room. Sometimes she felt like she was doing too much, getting lost in a world where they could be something more. She felt like the small glimpses would be all she would ever get and she relished every moment she had with him.

But what made her giddy with excitement was when Finnick would be looking back, a small smile gracing his features when they locked eyes. Emily knew the fond look had to be in her head because she and Finnick were simply friends. Even if that word left a bitter taste in her mouth.

She also still hadn’t forgotten his comment about distractions. After she had forgiven him she had thought she would feel light and her anger would fade into nothing. But then when night came and she had a moment away from Finnick the thoughts bombarded her.

There had been an uncomfortable realization that Emily had made. Being around Fnnick was dangerous. She would forget herself to his ocean eyes and dimpled smile, forgetting that the words he had said still lingered and hurt her when she was left alone to her thoughts.

She was hesitant to get so close to Finnick.

She didn’t know if this was still all a distraction to him. If the war that was blowing up above them was just something he wanted to forget. She wanted so horribly to get lost in the fantasy of happiness but she knew she couldn’t. She couldn’t just brush away the lives lost and the people who were still hurting around her.

Not when the effects of the war were so visible.

Her attention turned back to the two girls sitting in front of her. Katniss was sitting up on her hospital bed scowling at Johanna who was stealing her morphine once again.

Johanna let out a content sigh once she started to feel the effects. She sat closer to Katniss, the two practically sharing the bed as Emily sat in a chair next to them.

“I heard the nurses saying they’re going to have a party,” Johanna said after a moment of silence.

Emily lifted an eyebrow but Katniss spoke first, “A party?”

Johanna hummed, “Yes I know how much we all love those.”

Emily let out a short laugh, “What’s the occasion?”

Johanna shrugged her shoulders, “Apparently to lift spirits.”

Emily scrunched her nose in annoyance, “A party without alcohol is not what I call lifting spirits.”

Johanna let out a little tsk, “You’re starting to sound like Haymitch.”

Emily narrowed her eyes when she saw Katniss’ lips twitch upward.

“They do spend a lot of time together,” Katniss eventually said.

Johanna lifted an eyebrow, “Well that’s a development.”

Emily rolled her eyes, “You two are almost as bad as Finnick.”

Johanna lifted both eyebrows, “Finnick huh? What happened to Odair?”

Emily sent her a glare, “You know with the whole war I decided maybe it was time to get on a first-name basis.”

Johanna lifted her hands in surrender as she turned to Katniss, “Touchy subject I guess.”

Katniss let out a small snort that she tried to cover up with a cough.

Emily shook her head, “You’re both insufferable.”

Emily turned to look at the clock a tired sigh leaving her lips as she started to get up, "Well duty calls.”

Johanna’s nose twitched in disgust, “I can’t believe you have to work.”

Emily raised an eyebrow, “You will too once you’re discharged.”

“Don’t remind me,” She said with a frown.

Emily looked at her with amusement as she shook her head and made her way to the door saying goodbye as she left them.

She faintly heard them say their own farewells as the door closed behind her.

Emily had missed lunch that afternoon, something she knew she’d regret as the day went on but she was far more interested in the health of her friends than that of her own. She wrinkled her nose as that thought hit her. She really had softened up since arriving at thirteen.

Katniss would be discharged later that night. Emily had told her she would try to be there for it but she knew that if dinner was happening during her time of discharge then she might get there later than she wished. Especially when she knew she'd be starving by then.

Emily shook he head, dispersing her thoughts of Katniss as she returned back to her duties.

When dinner came around, Emily was in a grumpy mood. She hadn’t had food to eat in hours and her work always required a lot of movement which had ended up making her feel dizzy as more time went by.

She had wanted to instantly go to her room and nap after getting released but the idea of food had her slowly making her way to the cafeteria instead.

When she got there she scowled at the noise everyone was making, her head starting to hurt from all the sounds.

She got her food quickly, although for her it felt like hours of waiting in line. She sat down where she usually did with Haymitch not even noticing that the man wasn't there. She pushed her tray forward and let her head fall onto the cool table as her headache grew.

“Is everything okay?” She heard Finnick ask from beside her.

She just grunted, too tired to try and form sentences.

It had been a mistake coming to the cafeteria, she should’ve just gone to rest and waited for breakfast the next day. It’s not like she hadn’t gone without food for longer than a day but now she was accustomed to meals every day.

The thought had her scowling against the table, mad that she had grown comfortable in such a life. She shouldn’t have, not while in the middle of a war where it could all be snatched from right under her feet.

A hand brushed through her hair and Emily momentarily stiffened. She hadn’t felt someone do that to her since she had firsts arrived at thirteen and Arabella had done her hair. Before that, the only type of comfort she got through touch had been from her parents.

She peeked up from where she had her head resting. Her eyes instantly landed on Finnick who was worriedly looking at her. When he got her attention his hand stilled and he started to pull away.

“I-Sorry I shouldn’t have just touched you like that. I know-”

She cut him off, “It’s okay Finnick.”

He looked at her for a moment as if trying to find a lie in her expression but after a moment his hand slowly returned to brushing through her hair.

Emily’s eyes fluttered close, sleepiness starting to take over her as Finnick massaged her head.

She knew letting him do this was dangerous, especially when it made her stomach erupt with butterflies. Her mind wandered, imagining his hands exploring more than just the strands of her hair. She wondered if his cool fingertips would leave goosebumps in their wake.

She wondered if he’d let her run her own hands through his hair. She shook those thoughts away when she started to feel her ears burn and turned her head back to face the table.

She let herself get lost in the comfort but when she started to feel herself get too drowsy she reluctantly started to get up. She rubbed at her eyes before turning her attention to Finnick.

She could instantly feel the blush that rose to her cheeks when she saw how intently he was watching her. A small smile appeared on his face that had Emily’s eyes narrowing.

Seeing her annoyance only spurred his smile on more.

“Finnick,” She started, already getting prepared to tell him off.

“You look adorable,” He said, instantly making her words get stuck in her throat.

She blinked at him a few times, a confused look appearing on her face, “What?” She eventually questioned.

“When you blush,” He told her softly.

Emily could feel her face heat up more as the confusion turned to anger. She felt like she was being ridiculed. She knew Finnick didn’t feel the same way which was why it felt so wrong that he’d say things like that to her when he didn’t know the effects they had on her.

Suddenly the anger diminished turning quickly to sadness and embarrassment. She quickly got up, not caring that Finnick was trying to call out to her. She left the cafeteria, rapidly blinking when her eyes started to sting as she thought of Finnick’s words.

It wasn’t fair that he could speak to her in such a way and not even notice the way it made her brain short-circuit. She so desperately wished to return to a time when she was oblivious to her feelings for the man. Maybe then she wouldn’t be feeling like a young girl having a school crush for the first time.

She barely made it down the hall before her wrist was grabbed and she was turned around, crashing unceremoniously into Finnick. She quickly pushed herself away, untangling herself from him.

“Emily,” He started but she shook her head.

“Don’t,” Is all she said as she focused on his shoulder, not trusting her emotions to stay locked up if she looked him in the eye.

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” He eventually said.

“You didn’t,” She said trying to brush him off.

Finnick scoffed, “Emily can you tell me what I did wrong?”

She frowned. How could she possibly explain that she didn’t like him telling her such words because they made her heart swell with emotions she hadn’t felt since she was a teenager? How did she make him understand that she felt safe wrapped in those words but also completely hollow when she understood they didn’t mean the things her heart was tricking her into believing?

She shook her head, biting down on her lips when she started to feel them tremble. She had forgotten how much caring for someone hurt when they ultimately didn’t feel the same.

She was startled out of her thoughts when Finnick lifted his hand brushing a piece of her hair behind her ear and then letting his fingers linger on her cheek.

She looked at him with wide eyes, watching as his face showed his growing concern.

He moved his hand so that his palm was fully on her cheek and not just his fingertips. Emily shut her eyes, remembering a time when she used to be held so gently.

Her eyebrows furrowed, as her thoughts stumbled over one another. What was Finnick doing to her?

She hated him for making her feel so many things.

Slowly she reached up to place her hand on top of his, the coolness of his hand bringing her back down to reality. She snapped her eyes open and then gently pulled his hand away.

“You can’t do that,” She told him with a frown.

“Do what?” He asked softly, as if afraid he would scare her away if he spoke louder.

“Say things that make my head a mess,” She told him, not brave enough to admit anything else.

Finnick got a look on his face, one that looked almost hopeful.

“Do I make you a mess Emily?” Finnick asked, his hand gently rubbing patterns on her knuckles where she had yet to let go of him.

A blush made its way across her cheeks at his question. Emily was certain that if she wasn’t so close to him she would’ve hit him over the head for such a comment. But he was close. And her mouth was suddenly dry as she saw him take another step closer to her.

“Finnick,” was all she managed to choke out.

“Emily,” he replied.

There was a moment of silence as they just stared at each other, Finnick drawing a little closer.

“What do you want Emily?” He asked.

You.

Her mind instantly went to him. And she hated herself for it when she didn’t even know how Finnick felt.

A distraction.

The thought slammed its way into her head and Emily took a step back, her mind snapping out of the trance Finnick had her in.

She continued putting more distance between them, letting go of his hand in the process.

“I won’t-” She started, pausing when her voice shook.

“I won’t just be a distraction to you again Finnick,” she finally said when she swallowed down the lump in her throat.

Finnick looked at her confused before realization made its way onto his face.

“You were awake,” He concluded.

Emily gave him a small nod, “I’m not just going to be here for you when you need to forget about how hard everything is. I can’t. I won’t.”

She said shaking her head and hating the way her eyes started to water.

“Emily, that’s not what it sounded like,” He told her taking a step forward only for her to step back.

“Isn’t it? It was convenient that I was there and I don’t blame you for that, but I won’t let you use me like that now.”

“I wasn’t using you. Emily, you have to understand how important you are to me,” He started, “I actually don’t think you understand how much I’ve grown to care for you.”

Emily looked at him suspiciously.

“When I was telling that to Katniss I wasn’t referring to you. Yes, you made most days better and let me forget about the worries of war but I never thought of you as just someone to help me get over those fears. You always meant more.”

“What are you saying Finnick?” She asked carefully, not wanting to get her hopes up.

“You drive me insane,” Emily frowned but didn’t get a chance to reply as Finnick kept speaking.

“And you simultaneously make me want to be by your side at every possible moment. You say you don’t care for people but then you’re one of the first to put yourself on the line just so that others have a chance. It terrifies me because sometimes I don’t know if you’re coming back and I-”

He shook his head, taking a step toward heard, smiling a bit when he saw Emily didn’t move back.

“And I find myself thinking about how utterly horrible my life would be without you there to argue with me. Or without your small smiles, that always feel like you’re sharing secrets with me. What I’m trying to say Emily is that along the way you’ve somehow managed to become so important to me that I can’t imagine a life without you in it.”

“Even if it’s not in the way I hope, even if all we ever do is exchange hellos, I’ve found that I can’t live a life without Emily Greene in it.”

Emily looked at him with wide eyes, “In what way do you hope?” She asked in a whisper.

Finnick bit his lip, a shy smile making its way on his face that was so out of place from his usual smirks and confident smiles that Emily had to blink multiple times to make sure she was seeing it correctly.

“Where I’m the one who gets showered with your smiles and the one who gets to hold you and brush my fingers through your hair when you’ve had a bad day-”

Finnick didn’t get to finish because within seconds Emily was striding up to him and pulling him down to her. Later Emily will scold herself for being so confident, for not letting Finnick finish because she so desperately wanted to hear how she could fit into his life.

But as soon as his lips were on hers those thoughts flew out of her mind.

All she could think about was the way Finnick gently grabbed onto her hip, his other hand placed on her jaw as he pulled her in closer. Emily pushed her hands around his neck, letting one of her hands wander into his hair and she was happy to find his hair was soft.

The kiss started off rough, lips crashing together and teeth clashing but it soon turned to something soft and gentle. He kissed her in a way that made her feel like he had never kissed something so precious. Their mouths eventually opened so that their tongues met.

Emily couldn’t help the sigh that left her mouth at having him so close and reciprocating the actions she was doing. Eventually needing air they broke apart but Finnick left his forehead leaning on hers.

He smiled, “Is that what you wanted Emily?” he said with a teasing tone in his voice.

Emily rolled her eyes but smiles, “I hate you Odair.”

Finnick lifted an eyebrow, “Really Greene? That’s not what it looked like.”

“Well-”

Finnick cut her off with another kiss. Emily didn’t even care that she could feel his smile against her lips, all she could think about was that she was kissing Finnick and that it felt right.

Chapter Text

Finnick can remember only a handful of times when he had felt so blissfully happy. The first occurrence he can remember is when Sharon Thames had smiled at him back at school when they were first graders. He had felt like he was on top of the world and he thought life could not get any better.

Then there had been the time his mother had gotten him a cake for his birthday. It had been the first time they had ever had something so expensive.

After his games, there had been a few seconds after he had been announced the winner where he had felt pure joy at surviving but then it had all come crashing down after when he remembered how he had won.

The fourth had been when Mags had taken him in after his mother had been killed when he had refused the work the Capitol was throwing at him. He had gone through most days numbly, trying with all his might not to break down because he had been naive enough to think Snow couldn’t be that cruel. When Mags had shown him care it had been the first time he hadn’t felt alone and the relief he had felt had encompassed him for days.

The last had been when he met Annie a few years later after she had won her games.

He had been sure there would never be happiness for him after the hunger games, especially with the things he had to do. He didn’t even believe he deserved any type of happiness but then Mags had invited Annie over for dinner one night and he hadn’t been able to let her go since.

That was until he had laid eyes on Emily Greene.

The experience with her had felt similar to how he had one day suddenly come to the conclusion that he had feelings for Annie. It had snuck up on him, slowly and naturally consuming him until he couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t care about Emily.

He still remembers seeing her first smile, one that wasn’t even directed at him. She had been looking at Mags with such a soft look and Finnick should’ve known then she would be trouble. That she’d somehow wedge herself into his heart without him even knowing.

Until then all his happy moments could be counted on one hand.

But Emily had just given him his number six.

He replayed it constantly in his mind later that night. The feel of her lips, the warmth of her hands slipping through his hair. The sighs that had escaped her when he had slipped his tongue into her mouth.

A smile crept on his face whenever he thought about it too long. He felt like a child again with a school crush.

He and Emily had spent the rest of the day together switching from kissing to talking to each other about various little things, more importantly when those feelings had begun. Like him, it seemed like Emily hadn’t noticed it happening until after they had taken root.

He knew it had been a risk, letting his mouth run with words of how important she was to him but he had suddenly felt very desperate for her to know. Especially when he could see the way she was shutting herself away from him.

Then he couldn’t stop once he had started spewing about how amazing she was, not with the way she had gone from indifference to looking at him with something close to yearning.

He had tried not to look too far into that, afraid he was giving himself false hope. But then Emily immediately proved him wrong by tugging him down for a kiss.

It was something so simple, something that up until then he had found rather unimportant. He had shared many kisses with women and men in the Capitol. He had been sold to them for that purpose, constantly going through the same steps in each arrangement.

It always started with kisses. So, naturally, it became mundane and Finnick didn’t think he’d ever feel differently about them. Emily had yet again proven him wrong because he had never felt such a strong desire to never pull away. He wanted to keep her in his arms, and bottle the scent of her hair as she tucked her head into his chest while they hugged.

He wanted to hold her hand and see what jokes would get a laugh out of her while she rolled her eyes.

He could hardly sleep that night, his thoughts filled with new possibilities containing Emily in them. The next morning he had been up early, waiting for her outside the cafeteria as he had yet to know where her new room was.

The minute he saw her, he couldn’t help the smile that lit up his face.

As soon as they locked eyes she slightly faltered in her steps before straightening her back and making her way to him confidently.

“Greene,” He greeted.

She lifted an amused eyebrow, “Odair.”

“Fancy seeing you here.”

Emily huffed out a quiet laugh as she rolled her eyes, making his own smile widen.

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Ridiculous for you,” he said as he tugged her closer.

Emily wrinkled her nose in disgust, “That was awfully cheesy.”

Finnick let out a small laugh, “One day you’ll get used to it.”

Emily lifted an eyebrow, “You seem very confident about that.”

“Oh Emily, it’s like you don’t even know me.”

“Ah yes I’ve forgotten how terribly cocky you are,” Emily said with a mock sigh of annoyance.

Finnick instantly made that look disappear from her face as he pushed some of her hair behind her ear. A faint blush covered her cheeks as she looked up at him and Finnick doesn't think he has ever seen something so beautiful.

“Well this is a development,” A voice said from beside them making them both startle.

Finnick frowned as he saw Emily pull away and turn a glare at the man who interrupted them. Finnick pulled his eyes away from Emily to look at Haymitch who was looking at them with an amused smile.

Haymitch threw an arm around Emily and Finnick had to stop himself from pulling her away.

“So this is who you imagined sweetheart?” Haymitch shot a look at Finnick which had his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

Emily flushed, “Shut it, Abernathy.”

Haymitch continued to smile even with the dark glare Emily was sending him.

“Oh, Katniss is going to love this,” He said as he turned with Emily into the cafeteria.

Finnick stood frozen in his spot for a few moments as he tried to process how Haymitch had just whisked Emily away. He shook his head quickly following after the two and was pleasantly surprised when he saw Emily smack Haymitch on the back of his head. Despite her dark glower Haymitch just laughed her attack off.

Haymitch completely turned away from her when he noticed Finnick and then threw an arm around him.

“You know she was talking about you once. Wouldn’t tell me it was you of course, but it all makes sense now,” Haymitch tells him.

Despite his annoyance with the man for leaving him in the dust and taking Emily away, he was now intrigued by what Haymitch was saying.

“You spoke about me?” Finnick asked Emily as he turned to her.

Emily was glaring daggers at Haymitch before slowly letting her gaze fall onto him. Finnick wished he could describe the feeling he felt when he could see her eyes visibly soften as they landed on him.

God, he was utterly fucked when it came to her.

“I have no comment,” she stated simply as she looked back at Haymitch her eyes narrowing.

“I’d be careful with your next words, or I might just tell Katniss how you cried over her.”

Haymitch spluttered, “I never cried over Katniss.”

Emily lifted an eyebrow, “I find that I can be very persuasive.”

Haymitch assessed her for a moment before grumbling under his breath and letting Finnick go.

“You know you’re scary sometimes,” Haymitch tells her with a shake of his head as they move up in line.

Emily smiles, “Oh Haymitch I didn’t know we were giving out compliments.”

Haymitch simply rolls his eyes.

They get their food quickly. The entire time Finnick tries to get information from Emily and Haymitch but whenever Haymitch so much as opens his mouth Emily is elbowing him in the ribs. Finnick winces every time and he thinks Haymitch might even wake up to bruises tomorrow.

For all the talking Haymitch was doing he doesn’t actually talk much when they sit down and he can tell Emily is just waiting for the moment that he blurts something out.

He can tell it makes Emily nervous from the way she sits with her back as straight as a needle. She also keeps shooting Haymitch looks, and he can see her tapping a finger along the table from where she sits across from him.

Finnick frowns at the sight.

He’s not sure if he should feel worried or offended about Emily being so scared that others know about them. But those thoughts fly out of his head when a hand touches his shoulder and someone sits next to him.

He doesn’t need to look over to know it’s Annie sitting next to him. Finnick sends a quick look over at Emily but she doesn’t even look at him, instead, she's looking at where Annie’s hand is still laying on Finnick’s shoulder.

Finnick mentally curses himself for getting so lost in his time with Emily that he hadn’t even thought of what he’d say to Annie.

As soon as she’s finally seated she retracts her hand from his shoulder and then turns to look at him.

“Hello, Finnick. You didn’t wait this morning,” She tells him with a concerned look, “Was everything alright?”

Again Finnick felt guilt rising up in him because not only had he forgotten he needed to speak to Annie but he had also left her stranded with no explanation. Well stranded was a bit dramatic but for someone like Annie, him not showing up would worry her endlessly after her experiences.

“Oh, I’m sorry Annie I got distracted-”

A scoff from across the table made him pause as his eyes widened. He quickly looked over to Emily and shook his head.

“No! No not distracted, that’s not what I meant.”

Emily slightly narrowed her eyes but didn’t say anything.

“I was just-I had someone important to meet,” He blurts out, causing Haymitch to also turn to him with a raised eyebrow.

Now Finnick was never one to get shy but suddenly the feeling of everyone’s eyes on him had him wishing he could crawl back under his sheets and stay hidden in the comfort of his bed.

Annie cocked her head to the side in confusion, “Someone important?”

Finnick shuts his eyes for a moment as he sucks a deep breath. He knows he has to get it over with and knows he can’t continue to try and hide this from Annie.

So when his eyes open again he gives her a determined look, “I met someone Annie, someone I really like.”

Annie’s confusion clears up slowly as she takes in his words and he anxiously awaits her reaction. He wonders if she’ll be angry or if she’ll become distraught but what he isn’t imagining is a wide smile overtaking her features.

“Oh, Finnick that’s great news!” She tells him as she slightly bounces in her seat.

The relief Finnick feels washes over him so quickly and then what assaults him right after is his own stupidity because of course Annie would be happy for him. They may have cared for each other as something more than platonic at one point but he hadn’t even considered that Annie’s own feelings might’ve also diminished as time passed by. And guiltily he didn’t even consider if maybe she had someone else she had started to fall for as well.

“Well, who is it?” She asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

Finnick can’t help the way his eyes immediately seek out Emily and he can’t help the smile that starts on his face when he sees her start to blush. Annie seems to notice where his gaze falls and then she’s clapping her hands excitedly.

“Oh, I knew it!” She yells in triumph.

Emily turns to her with a confused look, “You did?”

Annie nods quickly, her head bobbing so much that her hair widely springs around her.

“Yes, he couldn’t stop worrying about you when you went on that mission to two. Frankly, I thought he was going to try and sneak his way over there with Haymitch.”

Emily’s previously bashful face was now starting to grow into a smirk.

“Was he now?” She asks with amusement.

“Oh yeah, he was going on and on and on-”

“Okay, Annie I think we get it,” Finnick cuts in.

“Actually I think I need a bit more of a description,” Haymitch says.

“I second that,” Emily says with a nod.

Finnick glares at both of them, “Why do I even bother with you both.”

The two of them simply reply with innocent smiles making Finnick roll his eyes at their antics. But his mouth hangs agape when Annie actually complies and starts to tell them how worried he was when Emily left. And from the sly smile she sends him, he knows she’s doing it on purpose.

And yet despite feeling like he should be offended he can’t help but feel a rush of affection for the people sitting around him. Especially not when Emily and Annie are communicating as if they were old friends who are merely catching up or the way Haymitch steals some of Emily’s food only to get a sharp smack on his hand.

It all feels so normal and peaceful and Finnick can’t help but hope that when the war is over there’ll be more days like this.

Chapter Text

Emily is sitting with Johanna in the hospital, anger rising in her as Johanna explains where Katniss has run off to.

Coin is making the final arrangements for when the rebels will go into the Capitol but none of the victors were informed, nor were any of them offered a chance to fight. It makes Emily’s head swirl with anger when she realizes they would have let her see them win from the sidelines, never lifting a finger in helping the fight end.

Johanna shares her sentiment, her own anger growing at not being able to go to the Capitol and causing pain to the same people who treated her as if she were the dirt beneath their shoes.

Emily knows she’s being irrational at her sudden urge to fight especially when she has so much to lose, something that makes her heart race when she thinks about it too long. Sometimes regret creeps up in the back of her mind when she’s alone. She thinks about how she had promised to keep herself separated from the rest of the victors, never wanting to grow attached to someone again but those plans went flying out the window the minute Finnick Odair came walking into her life.

She pushes thoughts of him away instantly. Her fear always goes rampant when she thinks about anything horrible happening to him. She shakes her head, her resolve of going to the Capitol growing stronger when she realizes it’s the best way to keep Finnick safe, the best way to get rid of the threat herself so she knows no one can ever hurt them again.

It doesn’t take long for Katniss to come back into the room, greeting Emily as she goes but they quickly put their attention to what happened in the meeting.

“They weren’t letting up at first, but they said if I can be well trained in three weeks and the board approves I can go,” She tells them.

Emily frowns, she knows that Katniss is by far the most qualified out of the three of them after all the times she was sent out into the field. But this means that if they were hesitant about letting Katniss go Emily knows she and Johanna will have an even harder time.

Katniss must notice their expressions because she speaks again, “Maybe you two can train too?”

Johanna slightly nods, “Fine. I’ll train. But I’m going to the stinking Capitol if I have to kill a crew and fly there myself.”

Emily lifts an eyebrow but a smile makes its way onto her face, “I’ll help you hide the bodies.”

Katniss shakes her head in amusement, “Probably best not to bring that up in training, but it’s nice to know I’ll have a ride.”

They all grin at each other, “God, we definitely need help.”

Johanna lets out a laugh, “Please Emily, that was already a given.”

They split ways shortly after, Emily having to return to her duties.

She sees Finnick at dinner but she hesitates in telling him anything, unaware if he already knows what happened. She knows it's wrong, knowing she’s going to go and train to try and fight while keeping it from him but with the way, his arm tightens around her waist as they’re eating she knows she can’t drag him into the danger.

It would be best for him to remain clueless.

Instead, she distracts herself with Annie’s commentary on how her day went and what she’s heard about the party 13 wants to throw. When dinner is over she and Finnick take their time walking back to her room where he kisses her goodbye and leaves with a stupid grin on his face.

She shakes her head in amusement but she also can’t help the smile that stays on her face as she gets ready for bed.

She’s up early the next day, getting ready to train with Johanna and Katniss. She can’t hide the small scowl on her face when she sees they’ve been put in training with the younger teens but she knows that she’ll have to put with it in order to go to the Capitol. So, she swallows down any reluctance and readily obeys each command given to her by Soldier York.

The training is brutal and she knows Johanna and Katniss must be having a harder time than her because of their injuries that haven’t fully healed. When they get to the five-mile run Katniss has to stop after just one mile because of her bruised rib.

The training ceases until the afternoon and Emily uses the guise of being assigned different duties so Finnick will stop questioning why she’s so tired.

She’s incredibly sore the next day and when she meets up with Katniss and Johanna they look far worse. They make their way out together but she and Johanna hesitate when they see it’s raining. Suddenly she can taste blood in her mouth, she can see it stain her body red and seep into the cracks of her palm. She even thinks she can smell it in the air.

“It’s just water. It won’t kill us,” Katniss says snapping her and Johanna out of their thoughts.

Johanna simply clenches her jaw and then stomps off ahead of them. Emily is a bit more hesitant but she knows that if Johanna can stomach it after everything she went through then Emily has no excuse to not do the same.

So, clutching her hands into tight fists she walks out into the rain and only slightly flinches when she feels the droplets instantly drench her.

Their exercises are the same as the day before, although now the running is harder with the rain mixing with the dirt and creating mud, Katniss only makes it a mile again before she has to stop. Their training in the afternoon goes a bit better.

They have to assemble a gun, Katniss finishes first from the three of them and then Emily a few seconds later after remembering the small amount of training she had when rescuing the victors from the Capitol. Katniss ends up helping Johanna when York has her back turned to them.

They continue with the training as the week goes on, Emily getting better at hiding her sore muscles from Finnick so he grows less suspicious. Johanna and Katniss finally start to join them for lunch again after they’ve gotten better in the training. They’ve also decided to room together, something she knows Katniss did so that Johanna wouldn’t have to stay in the hospital any longer. Especially since the nurses wouldn’t let Johanna stay alone.

They sit at one of the tables during lunch, Emily next to Katniss and Finnick on her other side, next to him sits Annie, Johanna sits across from Katniss, and next to Katniss sits Gale. Emily still doesn’t know how to feel about him, all she knows is that she doesn’t quite trust the boy anymore but she knows he cares, for Katniss at least. It’s obvious in the way he always seems to cover her when they’re out on the field, or the way he’ll put his life in danger for that of her family.

Emily thinks it’s admirable but that word to describe Gale leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. All she knows is that Katniss still keeps him around so she keeps those negative opinions to herself.

She snaps out of her thoughts when Finnick squeezes her hand. She turns her attention to him, instantly getting lost in his eyes.

The ocean, she always thinks. He crinkles his eyebrows in concern, silently asking her if she’s okay. Emily gives him a soft smile and a nod.

He gives her a smile back and leans in to leave a kiss on her forehead and then proceeds to wrap the arm that was holding her hand around her waist. That was something she noticed about Finnick, he loves to always hold her, in any way he can. Sometimes when they’re walking he’ll link their pinkies together or if they’re just standing still he’ll wrap his arms around her from behind and rest his chin on top of her head.

It was a surprise to her, even more so when she realized how much she craved it. She supposed that came from not having been held in such a gentle way in years.

“Have I told you all about the one time a turtle ran off with my hat?” Finnick says to the table.

Annie immediately lights up, as if she’s heard the story before. Emily and Katniss both lift their eyebrows while Johanna scoffs.

“It’s true!” Finnick starts, “So, there I am, legs deep in the water as I’m trying to catch some fish. One of them slams right into me while trying to get away and it immediately makes me lose my balance. I end up falling into the water with a splash!”

Finnick talks animatedly, especially now. Emily thinks it’s because he’s comfortable but she knows it’s not only that. He seems lighter than she’s ever seen him and the realization hits her quite late and instantly makes her stomach swim with guilt because she realizes he feels safe.

Finnick feels safe and she’s going to destroy that sense of calmness by throwing herself into a battlefield.

The laughter around the table pulls her out of her thoughts and she hastily puts on a smile as Finnick turns to her. She must do a pretty bad job at it because Finnick gives her that concerned look again.

“Peeta,” Annie says softly, instantly making Emily snap her attention to where Annie’s gaze has fallen.

Emily hasn’t seen him since the rescue. When she looks at him she half expects him to still have deep bruises and be nothing more than skin and bone but relief instantly welcomes her when she sees how much better he looks. His appearance is nowhere near how he used to look before the Capitol but the dark bruises have now turned yellow and his once boney body has more meat on it again, making him look more human.

“What’s with the fancy bracelets?” Johanna asks, making Emily look down at his wrists where he wears shackles, linked together by a chain.

Emily frowns as he begins to speak again, “I’m not quite trustworthy yet. I can’t even sit here without your permission.”

Peeta makes a movement with his head and Emily finally notices the two guards that accompany him. She lifts an eyebrow and makes a mental note to herself to ask Haymitch more about what’s been happening with the boy.

“Sure he can sit here. We’re old friends,” Johanna says to the guards and then turns back to the table when Peeta sits again, “Peeta and I had adjoining cells in the Capitol. We’re very familiar with each other’s screams.”

Annie pushes her hands up to her ears as soon as the words have left Johanna’s lips and Finnick gives her a sharp glare as he removes his arms away from Emily to try and calm Annie down.

“What? My head doctor says I’m not supposed to censor my thoughts. It’s part of my therapy,” Johanna defends herself.

Emily simply lifts an eyebrow and a tense silence settles over the table, the only sounds coming from Finnick who whispers to Annie in hopes of calming her down. Eventually, she does relax again and slowly removes her hands from her ears. She goes back to eating after taking in her surroundings, making sure she really is safe.

Finnick returns his arm around Emily after making sure Annie is alright. Emily places a hand on his thigh, rubbing soothing circles when she sees the small frown he wears. He seems to calm down after a few moments and sends her a grateful smile as they return to their meals.

The silence stretches on for a while, all that’s heard is the chattering around them and the scratching of metal utensils against their plates.

Eventually, Finnick starts to retract his arm again, Emily trying hard not to frown when he takes his warmth with him.

“If we’re going to fit in that walk, we better go,” He says to Annie who seems to remember they had plans.

Finnick rises first, grabbing both of their trays as Annie says her goodbyes to the table, giving Emily a hug goodbye. Emily slightly startles at it, having only really been held in such a way by Finnick but quickly finds her footing and hugs the girl back.

Finnick gives her an amused smile as Annie pulls away and then bends down to plant another kiss on her forehead.

“You be nice to her, Finnick. Or I might try and take her away from you,” Peeta cuts in.

Emily turns to look at him with a slight frown, his voice suddenly sounding very cold.

“Oh Peeta,” Finnick starts with a tone Emily knows is meant to sound nice but always holds a sort of warning, “Don’t make me sorry I restarted your heart.”

His eyes land back on Emily which instantly makes her mouth go dry. Finnick looked almost jealous.

Emily can't help the small smirk that makes its way onto her face and continues to grow when Finnick notices. He slightly narrows his eyes at her which Emily rolls her eyes at before getting up and placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Oh calm down Odair,” she whispers to him before sitting back down.

Finnick slightly frowned but nodded before leading himself and Annie away from the table to put their trays away and leaving the cafeteria.

When she finally takes her eyes off him, she rests her gaze on Peeta.

“He did save your life, Peeta. More than once,” She tells him calmly.

His gaze lands back on her and Emily can’t help but notice how different he is from the boy she had spoken to in the arena.

“For the rebellion. Not for me. I don’t owe him anything,” He replies and it sounds almost bitter.

Emily opens her mouth to say more but Katniss beats her to it.

“Maybe not. But Mags is dead and you’re still here. That should count for something.”

The name sends grief rolling through her, making Emily tighten her hold around her spoon. She’s managed to keep a lot of her grief at bay, especially after the mission with the victors. But she knows she’s grown too comfortable in the safety net 13 provides because she suddenly can’t help the overwhelming feeling of sadness that threatens to spill over.

“Yeah, a lot of things should count for something that don’t seem to, Katniss. I’ve got memories I can’t make sense of, and I don’t think the Capitol touched them. A lot of nights on the train for instance,” Peeta replies.

Peeta takes Katniss' silence as an answer and speaks again, “So, are you two officially a couple now?” He says gesturing between Katniss and Gale, “Or are they still dragging out the star-crossed lover thing?”

“Still dragging,” Johanna replies and Emily wonders if it would be rude to just leave now.

She’s grown uncomfortable. Where she once held relief for Peeta being safe and growing healthy she now feels uncertain. It’s obvious he’s not the same person but that’s not what concerns her, it's the way he speaks to people in a way that makes it seem like they can be the enemy at any moment.

“I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it myself,” Gale says.

“What’s that?” Peeta asks.

“You,” Gale simply replies.

“You’ll have to be a little more specific. What about me?”

“That they’ve replaced you with the evil-mutt version of yourself,” Johanna replies and Emily can’t help but roll her eyes again, that only spurs Johanna on to send her an amused look.

“You done?” Gale asks Katniss as he finished up his food. Katniss doesn’t answer simply getting up, Gale taking that as their cue to leave.

Once they’re gone Emily lets out a small sigh.

“Well this was all very dramatic,” Johanna says again.

“Johanna,” Emily says with a raised eyebrow.

Johanna doesn’t answer, she simply looks back down at her meal, “Peeta I understand things are difficult but being rude to everyone won’t help,” Emily says as she turns her attention back to the boy.

His gaze locks on hers again and she thinks she sees remorse flash through his eyes for the briefest moment.

“And I know you think Katniss is the enemy but I implore you to think about how if she really wanted you dead or to hurt you she would’ve done it already,” that’s all Emily says as she collects her tray and leaves the two there, ignoring the way Peeta starts to debate with himself.

As the week continues she relentlessly trains, they’re each taken in for an independent evaluation and are tested on their weaknesses. Emily doesn’t know what that means, she knows that the games will give them a better idea of what she fears but it isn’t anything she expects.

There aren’t dozens of soldiers she needs to fight or a shelter she needs to build, instead, she’s thrown into a dark room with only two lights hanging above. There are no windows, and the door she came in through has blended in with the walls. The only opening she sees in the room is a vent that is placed in between both lights.

She thinks it’s too easy. The way out is right there.

She looks around in hopes of finding anything but all that is in the room is a box and a small knife. As soon as she touches the objects there’s a loud creaking and with alarm, Emily realizes that two of the walls are starting to slowly move closer together.

She’s quick to put the box under the vent but when she stands on it she can't reach it. She looks around the room again, wondering if she missed anything but all she notices is the walls getting closer.

She realizes at that moment what they’re training her on when she’s standing staring up at the vent. They must’ve noticed her fear of being trapped in 13. The way she always hated to venture deeper into the district and the fear of forever being surrounded by the stone walls.

She swallows down the bile that threatens to come out because it feels too familiar to the games Snow would play, too similar to his cruel nature.

With that comparison, her body is thrown back into survival mode. She survived the games so there was no reason she couldn’t survive this.

Emily pushes the scraping sounds of the walls getting closer out of her head and focuses back on the vent, she notices that if she jumps she can just reach the light fixture and a plan starts to form in her mind.

She sets the box under one of the lights, noticing how the wall is inching closer by the second. She’s quick with jumping up and grabbing hold of the fixture. She pulls her legs up so that they wrap around the base of the light and she hangs herself upside down. She swings herself forward, missing the vent by a few inches, and crashes back into the wall that’s already started reaching her.

She takes a look at the vent and then the approaching wall behind her, knowing that this is her last chance to reach the vent. She pushes herself hard off the wall and manages to hook her fingers onto the vent. With the knife, she starts to loosen the screws holding the vent in place. Her hand is starting to shake as she feels the wall pushing against her, the other side only an arm's length away.

Emily gets the last screw out and sends the vent door flying to the ground. She pushes an arm up into the opening, counting to three before letting go of the light with her legs and quickly pushing her other hand up into the opening.

She can hear the way the walls start to crush the lights, feeling the sparks hit her before it goes dark beneath her.

Fear grips her as she tries to pull herself up. It’s the feeling of her foot hitting one of the walls that gives her the strength to pull herself up completely, falling into the safety of the other room.

Soldier York gives her a nod but states that her time could be better, Emily takes it as a win.

When she catches up with Katniss she’s glad to see she’s also managed to pass her evaluation and the two make their way to the cafeteria. Emily is completely ready to see Finnick after the mental hoops she had to tackle in training and can't help the warmth she feels at thinking about sinking into his embrace.

They catch Haymitch on the way there but his grim expression makes Emily falter, before she can ask what happened he speaks.

“Johanna’s back in the hospital.”

“Is she hurt? What happened?” Katniss asks.

“It was while she was in her evaluation. They try to ferret out a soldier’s potential weaknesses. So they flooded the street,” Haymitch tells them.

Katniss and she share a look, both trying to see if the other understands but it's clear neither knows what Haymitch is trying to get at.

“So?” Katniss asks.

“That’s how they tortured her in the Capitol. Soaked her and then used electric shocks. In the evaluation, she had some kind of flashback. Panicked, didn’t know where she was. She’s back under sedation,” He tells them.

Emily frowns, her mind going back to the day it was raining during their training. Emily had thought Johanna had a reaction due to their time in the games but she should’ve known it was something more.

Johanna had always been stronger than most of them but suddenly knowing that she had been reduced to her fear made her stomach churn. She knew thirteen was just trying to find a way to get soldiers who could make it through all sorts of circumstances but Emily couldn’t help the way resentment rose in her.

The way they had their fears used against them, their fears that none of the people of thirteen could ever understand made her want to scream at them for their careless way of handling them. She understood very clearly at that moment that all they were seen as were soldiers to the cause.

“You two should go see her. You’re as close to friends as she’s got,” Haymitch says breaking through her thoughts.

They nod as Haymitch tells them he has to go tell Plutarch.

She turns to Katniss but the girl doesn’t return her stare.

“I think you should go ahead, I’ll catch up in a little bit,” Katniss tells her when the silence starts to drag on.

Emily slightly purses her lips, wanting to ask why, and wondering what could be more important than going to check if Johanna is okay but all she manages is a slight nod before walking away.

The walk to the hospital room is slow. Emily is almost afraid to get there. She fears she’ll see Johanna in the same state she had when she was first rescued, which is a ridiculous thought considering Johanna wasn’t hurt physically but all she can think about is the girl she helped rescue.

How frail Johanna had been, how dirty and damp her gown had been, and how small she had looked shivering in it.

When she finally gets to the door she takes a pause outside, looking in through the small window on the door to see Johanna sitting up and staring at the wall across from her. There’s a glazed look over her eyes and a frown that sits permanently on her face. Emily finds herself frowning as well because she knows that thirteen did this to her. A place Johanna had been put in to escape the horrors of the Capitol and yet hours ago she was forced to relive it.

She opens the door carefully, the sound of the hinges slightly creaking as she pushes it open. Johanna turns to her sharply when the sound echoes around but she slightly relaxes when she sees who it is.

Emily lets the door close behind her and takes a seat at the foot of Johanna’s bed before speaking.

“It was rough out there today wasn’t it?” She asks because she’s never been too good at comforting people.

Johanna raises an eyebrow, “What they’d do to you?” She asks instead.

Emily slightly smiles, “Tried to trap me in between walls and squish me like a bug.”

“Your fear is being squished?” Johanna asks with a smirk.

Emily rolls her eyes, slightly calming down when she sees Johanna hasn’t fully shut herself away.

“No, my fear is being trapped in this hell hole, guess they caught onto it.”

Johanna hums, “We’ve got a lot of problems don’t we?”

“Well, I’d say you have more but..”

Johanna flicks her off, a small scowl on her face that’s wiped away quickly when the door creaks open again. She watches with cautious eyes but once she sees Katniss enter she becomes less guarded.

Katniss takes the seat next to Johanna’s bed as she hands Johanna a small bundle.

Johanna takes it slowly, “What’s this?”

“I made it for you. Something to put in your drawer. Smell it,” Katniss replies.

Johanna hesitates for a moment before bringing the bundle up to her nose, as soon as she does tears start to well up in her eyes.

“Smells like home,” She whispers.

“That’s what I was hoping. You being from Seven and all, remember when we met? You were a tree. Well, briefly.”

Emily almost smiles at the memory but she’s quickly put on high alert when Johanna grabs both her and Katniss' wrists with her hands. Emily’s first reaction is to fight. She’s never liked being forcibly grabbed but then she reminds herself where she is and who is holding her and she knows despite Johanna being tense she wouldn’t hurt them.

“You have to kill him, either one of you,” She says giving them an intense look.

“Don’t worry,” Katniss replies and Emily is surprised she can sound so calm.

“Swear it. On something you care about,” She hisses at Katniss.

“I swear it. On my life,” She quickly says but Johanna shakes her head.

“On your family’s life.”

“On my family’s life,” Katniss repeats.

Johanna’s intense gaze lands on her as she waits for her to swear on it. Emily’s mind runs with options, quickly shuffling through things she knows Johanna won’t find sufficient but a memory brings the search to a halt.

She raises her gaze to Johanna, “I swear it. On Finnick’s life.”

Johanna looks at her for a second longer before nodding and releasing them from her grip.

Katniss breaks the tension first, “Why do you think I’m going, anyway, brainless?”

Johanna cracks a smile, “I just needed to hear it.”

They spend a bit longer with her but when it's clear she can hardly keep her eyes open she and Katniss leave the hospital together. They walk in silence for a while both lost in their own thoughts but Emily understands one thing now, she needs to leave sooner.

She can’t wait for more tests and evaluations until she messes up and they force her into the hospital. She starts to think of a plan, a way to get away when it would be least noticeable and an opening is conveniently arriving the next day. The party thirteen has been talking about is set to happen and she knows that’s when she’ll have to leave.

Katniss stops her train of thought by pulling on her arm and guiding her into the room she shares with Johanna. She closes the door behind her and then turns and faces Emily.

Emily gives her a long look before an amused laugh leaves her lips, “You’re planning on leaving aren’t you?”

Katniss looks a bit surprised but nods, “I’ll need help to get out of here, maybe a distraction or-”

Emily cuts her off, “Katniss you can’t possibly think I’ll let you waltz into the Capitol by yourself. I’m going too, I want Snow dead just as much as any Victor and I can’t do that from here.”

Katniss slightly purses her lips making Emily shake her head.

“This is my choice, don’t think I’m going just to babysit you.”

Katniss scrunches her nose up in distaste but there’s a slight upturn of her lips when she finally nods.

“So how are we doing this?” Katniss eventually asks.

Emily smiles, “I might have a plan.”

Chapter Text

Emily was nervous in a way she hadn’t been in a long while. Even going into the games hadn’t made this rush of anxiety course through her but suddenly she could feel nothing but the fear.

She couldn’t pinpoint where it came from. She could only assume it was a multitude of things concerning her, most of it centered around Finnick.

She was going to leave today and by doing so she’d be leaving him too. She was terrified he’d somehow find out her plan beforehand. That he’d see right through her and she’d be forced to confront his anger, his questions, and his disappointment. Another part of her almost hoped he would find out, just so she had a reason to leave angry.

Anything that would make it easier to part ways with him.

Emily shook her head, trying hard not to think about Finnick and instead going back through the steps of the plan she had devised with Katniss. They’d go to the party, make an appearance, and stay for a while to make sure they were seen. Then when things picked up they’d discreetly pull away and grab the things they needed for their journey to the Capitol. Luckily they could do that on the way to the hangar where Johanna had told them a hovercraft would be arriving with medication for the hospital.

When they got to the Capitol, if everything went well, they didn’t have much planned. After all, they hadn’t really been informed on how things had been going there while in training. Katniss and she just hoped they wouldn’t get turned around and pushed back into 13.

A knock startled her out of her thoughts and she quickly pushed herself to her feet while subconsciously fixing her hair. Arabella had been kind enough to offer to do her hair earlier that day and Emily had taken the chance to distract herself from her worries.

Arabella had easily sensed her anxiety however, she had linked it to something else concerning Finnick.

Arabella had assumed Emily had been nervous about this being their first date and that had made Emily take a pause. She hadn’t thought that’s what this was. She hadn’t really thought about any dates, because the life they lived was not normal and they simply didn’t have the time for that. Mostly Emily didn’t want Finnick to think of this in such a way.

Not when she planned on leaving him stranded alone before the party ended. It had added more to her worries and her heart felt like it would beat right out of her chest with how fast it was going.

It felt like it took her ages to reach her door and when she finally did she couldn’t help the slight shake in her hand as she slid the door open to greet Finnick.

A sense of peace instantly washed over her when she locked eyes with him. She didn’t think she’d ever get tired of the color.

He had a smile on his face and brought one of his hands forward to show her a small bundle of daisies. They were all tiny, some even wilted as their petals drooped but Emily couldn’t help but smile at the gesture.

“Are these for me?” She asked already reaching forward to take them from him.

“Oh, well I planned to give them to Haymitch but now I would just feel bad,” He told her innocently.

Emily sent him a small glare that had his face breaking into a smile.

“Yes, they’re for you. I hope you don’t mind how they look,” He explained as he finally let Emily take the flowers into her hand.

“I don’t. They’re wonderful, although I am curious about how you got them. Thirteen doesn’t grow flowers,” Emily replied as she carefully set the bundle of flowers on her desk before turning to face Finnick once again.

“Well you know our favorite rebellion leader has a bit of leeway when it comes to getting what she wants. So, I asked her if she’d use a bit of that power to get us a trip outside.”

Emily raised an eyebrow, “So are you in her debt now? I know you don’t like to put yourself in those types of situations.”

Finnick shrugged casually, “I suppose there are some things that require those sacrifices.”

An amused scoff left her lips, “I’m sure Haymitch will repay you well.”

Finnick rolled his eyes, grabbing her hand and gently tugging her to him.

“Now don’t be jealous Emily.”

She frowned, playing into the bit, “But how could I ever compete with his messy hair and horrible jokes.”

“Yes, those are hard to compete with but lucky for you I find that I like hair like yours and jokes that actually make me laugh.”

Emily raised her eyebrows, “I’m telling him you said he’s not funny.”

Finnick’s eyes widened, “Please don’t. He’ll try to tell more jokes just to get me to laugh at them.”

A smirk appeared on her face, “Well better hope I don’t find him first.”

She quickly pulled away from him, going around him to exit her room and make her way down to where the party would be held. As she went she could hear Finnick shout out to her but his shouts were drowned out by her steps as she raced around thirteen.

She briefly looked around at the halls as she ran down them, wondering if she would ever see this place again after today. It was a bitter thing to feel at such a moment, especially when she had wanted to escape from the place since she arrived.

She knew that if Finnick hadn’t been in the picture her actions later that night would be freeing and empowering but Finnick was a part of her life and she knew everything she did from here on out would affect him. So, despite wishing to be free of thirteen, the guilt she felt overpowered any other emotion.

She brushed away those thoughts when she could distantly hear music playing, her footsteps picking up as her intrigue carried her into the large room.

She finally slowed down when she was inside, coming to a full stop as she turned to look at her surroundings. There was a stage in the center of the room where a band was playing, the music filtering around the open space and echoing all around her.

There were trees in certain spots and plants were hung on various columns around the room. It almost reminded her of the garden room but no birds flew around them as people mingled.

Finnick caught up to her, sending her a mock glare, “Well that was an entirely unfair start.”

Emily smiled, “Life isn’t fair Odair.”

Finnick put a hand up to his heart as if wounded, “She’s calling me Odair again, what a catastrophe.”

Emily simply gave him an amused smile as she took his hand and guided them further into the room. There was already a crowd near the stage, most of them dancing with practiced moves she had never seen.

Her eyes turned to the people watching and she was able to see Johanna tucked under one of the trees as she watched with boredom.

Emily was tempted to talk to her, but a part of her feared the girl would blurt something out about the mission later that night. So, instead, she turned to Finnick whose eyes still stayed on the group of people dancing. A small smile was on his lips and she could feel his fingers tap on her knuckles to the beat of the song.

“Do you want to dance?” She asked him softly.

He turned to her, surprise lighting up his face that soon slipped away as he smiled and pulled her to where everyone was dancing.

Emily had no clue why she had suggested they dance, perhaps it was the way Finnick’s face held a sort of childlike wonder or maybe it was because she knew in just a few hours this would all be a memory. However, as nice as those thoughts had seemed she was utterly confused on what to do with her feet once they got to the dance floor.

The last time she had danced, she was still a child. A song had come up on the small radio her mother had, they could mostly only hear the static but every now and then the soft melodies would filter through. She still remembered the way her mom had pulled her off her chair where she had been helping with dinner to move around in calculated steps.

In the middle of Emily tripping over her own feet her dad had walked in with her brother and somehow the whole family had ended up dancing around the kitchen while she and Joshua made up songs of their own to dance to.

She felt very much like she did then. Her feet seemed heavy on the floor and she kept tripping over them every time Finnick swept her in a different direction. She knew she must’ve looked like a fool and was tempted to tell Finnick to stop, but as she looked up at him she knew she’d never get those words out.

He looked so happy and so beautiful and she wondered how anyone could ever look at him and think to hurt him. She wanted this version of him ingrained in her heart. The version of him that looked down at her with something close to adoration.

She hoped, in the future, if things didn’t go according to plan that he could still think of her in such a way. She hoped the betrayal of her leaving wouldn’t forever taint the feelings he held for her, but Emily knew it was selfish to think that.

She knew that he would be angry and hurt, and she wouldn’t blame him. She just hoped at the end of it all he would be safe.

Emily was pulled from her thoughts when she heard the cheering and clapping of those around her, indicating the song had just come to an end.

Finnick pulled her into him, laughing a bit when she once again tripped over her feet.

“I’m afraid to tell you Greene but I think we ‘ought to keep you off the dance floor. You might be a hazard to others,” Finnick told her with an amused smile.

Emily glared at him, “Well if someone didn’t pull me around like a puppet on strings I might’ve actually been able to get my feet on the ground.”

“Sweetheart I think it’s best if your feet don’t even touch that floor, you should be thanking Finnick,” Haymitch said as he came up from behind them.

Emily turned her glare on Haymitch, “This is why Finnick said he thought you weren’t funny.”

Haymitch raised both eyebrows as he turned to Finnick who was now spluttering as he tried to give Haymitch any sort of response.

Emily smirked as she slowly excused herself from the two men and went in search of a drink, distantly hearing Haymitch start one of his jokes as Finnick tried to protest. She found a refreshment quickly and went to stand off to the side searching the crowd until her eyes settled on Johanna once again.

She made up her mind quickly and walked over to her, following her eyes to see they were trained on Katniss and Prim who were dancing. They stood like that for a little while, the both of them following the two sisters until eventually Katniss stopped dancing and brought Prim in for a hug.

“It’s almost time,” Johanna spoke.

Emily brought her cup to her lips, taking another sip before answering, “Do you think we’ll make it far?”

Johanna turned away from Katniss to look at the side of Emily’s face.

“I think Snow should be afraid,” She eventually replied.

Emily turned to her then, feeling a lump grow in her throat at watching the way Katniss so desperately clung to her sister.

“We’ll get to him,” Emily replied, determination leaking into her short sentence.

Johanna smirked as she nodded, already knowing Katniss and Emily would stop at nothing until Snow was dead or until they were.

The song finished soon after their conversation, making Emily turn to the dance floor once again. Katniss pulled away from Prim momentarily looking around until her eyes landed on Johanna and Emily. There was a slight nod sent in her direction and Emily knew then that leaving was much harder than she had anticipated. She nodded back, moving her head to the last place she had seen Finnick, and smiled to herself at seeing he was still talking with Haymitch.

He was laughing loudly at whatever the other man was saying, so much so he was even clutching his stomach and she wondered briefly what was making him laugh so much. She was almost tempted to go over and join in on their joy but she knew if she went to them, she’d never want to leave.

She gave Joahnna a quick squeeze on her arm and started making her way towards the exit, tossing one last look over her shoulder at Finnick and hoping it would take him a long time to realize she wasn’t at the party, or in District 13 at all.

She made quick work of grabbing her bag, quickly looking through the contents to make sure she had her weapons which felt like the most important things to her. She was passing her desk, already heading out when she took a pause, turning her head to look at the flowers Finnick had brought her just hours before.

She quickly took hold of them and stuffed them into her bag, trying to shake the sadness off as she made her way to the meeting point Katniss and she spoke about.

When she gets there, she sees Katniss has gotten a hold of a jacket, which cloaks her in black. She raises her eyebrows and is even more surprised when Katniss tosses a similar jacket to her.

“Don’t ask how I got them,” She says quickly.

Emily smiles but nods and quickly puts the jacket on, tucking her hair into the hood to keep herself as hidden as possible.

They’re both careful as they make their way to the hangar, pausing and hiding every time they hear the steps of another person. Once they make it to the hangar it’s easier to go unnoticed, everyone else is too busy focusing on what they’re working on and rushing from place to place. It’s easy to spot the hovercraft Johanna was speaking about, medics surrounding the hovercraft as they’re handed their packages.

They both stood behind some shipments, watching as the crowd dwindled and waited for the perfect moment to sneak inside. It doesn’t take long for the last medic to grab their things, the pilot, offering to take the last few packages in with them, so they wouldn’t have to make another trip down.

Katniss and Emily instantly know this is their chance. As soon as the pilot and medic are far enough they rush into the hovercraft, hiding between crates and making themselves as small as possible.

They don’t dare speak a word to each other as they wait, too afraid that even their whispers would be picked up and they would promptly be found. So they sit, and Emily hates every second of it. Her heart feels like it beats too loudly, echoing around her head and her ears until it’s the only thing she can hear.

She’s sure several minutes pass before they hear a sound at the entrance of the hovercraft. Katniss and she share a look as they hear someone enter the space but the person only goes as far as pressing a few buttons before promptly running back out. A minute later they hear the sound of gears turning and the large door starts to rise, slowly sealing them away.

Even though Emily is sure they’re alone, neither one of them risks speaking until the hovercraft is finally in the air. They share a brief smile as they feel the small turbulence as they’re lifted higher off the ground and only when a few more minutes have passed do they finally feel safe enough to talk.

“Are you ready?” Katniss asks and Emily feels like the question is too simple.

She wants this to be over, is prepared to even die for it, but she doesn’t think she’d ever be ready for war.

No, she isn’t ready but she knows she has to be. She knows if she and Katniss don’t succeed thousands of people will continue to suffer. And vengefully she wants to be there when Snow suffers, when the sinful glimmer in his eyes goes dull and she can finally rest.

She turns to Katniss, her tongue feeling heavy in her mouth but answers with a resolute “Yes.”

Chapter Text

The ride to the Capitol feels never-ending.

Her thoughts seemed to consume her the whole flight over. She wonders about Finnick and knows he has noticed she is gone by now and has maybe even pieced together that she's not in 13 at all.

She and Katniss only speak a handful of times, confirming their next plan of action. The more they speak about the plans, the more each of them gets lost in their own thoughts, and any discussion eventually stalls.

Emily knows she wants to do this, knows that she won't ever truly feel safe while Snow continues to breathe. Yet she can't shake the knots from her stomach or the way her breaths seem to never be enough to fill her lungs. Thoughts of Snow and the Capitol aren't what make her uneasy, though; no, it's the thought of Finnick when he finally gets word of her whereabouts. He had worried for her before, when all they had been to each other was friends, and now that their relationship had developed, she knew his worry would be worse.

Selfishly, she hoped his worry would turn to anger or frustration, anything to ease the guilt of leaving him behind for a mission she might not return from.

Sitting in the hovercraft was making her mind spiral to many places. She started to wonder if she should've left something behind. Maybe she should've let it slip to Haymitch where she was going so that Finnick had some answers. She also wonders about Arabella and regrets that she didn't visit her one last time before her escape from 13. She realizes that's what it's all boiling down to, regret.

It feels like it's too late to feel such a thing, but she supposes that's how regret works. It creeps up on you when your decisions are too set in stone for anything to change the outcome. She feels it so strongly that she starts to wonder how long she's been holding her regret in.

She can remember it started when she was young, after Joshua had been reaped, but she had given up on what-ifs shortly after. She knew her brother wasn't going to come back, and none of her regrets would change that. But then the games had dragged her back, and she had seen Peeta and Katniss, two kids with so much put on their shoulders.

It awoke something in her, and she had been all out of sorts by the time she arrived in District 13.

She's forced out of her head when the hovercraft experiences turbulence, making the boxes she and Katniss are hiding between push against them. A few moments later, they can start to hear the difference in the engine of the hovercraft signaling their descent.

They share a look before Katniss speaks, “Remember, we keep our heads down, and try to get out with a team, then split ways from there.”

Emily nodded her head, but her confidence in the plan started to waver. Things were just too broad, and neither one of them had done much research on how the fighting had been in the Capitol before jumping onto the hovercraft. She knew Katniss had heard some things here and there from Gale and Boggs, but hearing some slip-ups and actually being in battle were two completely different things.

And truthfully, Emily was starting to wonder how prepared she was, sure she had gotten some training in District 13, but the last time she had to worry about watching her back had been in the arena. Even though she had felt uneasy with 13 and President Coin, she knew there had been safety within those walls; however, out here, she didn't know what to expect, and she hoped surviving two games was enough for what was to come.

Her lack of confidence in the plan seems to be placed well because once they land, she and Katniss both take a pause. They wait until the door is opened, but after that, both are hesitant to move. Emily is the first to take action and peeks out from behind a box when she has yet to hear anyone enter the back of the hovercraft.

She falters when she sees the number of people waiting at the terminal. Everyone seems to be hanging around as they wait for further orders, and instantly Emily knows staying hidden will be a problem. However, she knows they’re too far in; if she and Katniss were to be spotted, she knows Coin wouldn’t be able to pull them back. There would be too many witnesses wondering what happened to the victors.

She turns back to Katniss who also had her head poking out and looking at the crowd and by the look on her face Emily knows that she has concluded that they will not be able to hide.

“We’ve made it too far, they can't send us back now,” Emily tells Katniss when her eyebrows start to furrow and a frown appears on her lips.

Katniss looks back at the crowd and then settles her gaze on Emily, “Then best to get it over with.”

She takes a breath, schooling her features, and then Katniss stands up. Emily follows her lead, stretching her legs as she goes, when she feels how sore they have become from her squatted position.

As if they were connected, both girls take a step forward simultaneously, keeping up with each other as they go. The closer they get to the crowds, the faster Emily’s heart starts to beat. She knows it is only a matter of time before someone looks too closely and realizes who has come to join the fight.

When the crowd starts to become dense, Emily can feel the difference. Where conversation seemed to hum all around them, now silence sits. She tries to keep her eyes trained on the ground, but when she starts to see people’s feet turn toward them, she can’t help but stop and look up.

A crowd has formed around them, most eyes looking toward Katniss, but now and then she catches the eye of someone who looks at her with so much inspiration that it almost knocks her off her feet. She doesn’t know what she’s done to deserve those looks, and it makes her uneasy to see that so many people wear it when looking at her.

She wonders if this is how Katniss feels with the weight of everyone’s hope resting on her shoulders. Did she also feel this hopeless about it?

Katniss stops a few steps ahead of her, seeming to have noticed the attention they had garnered. After a moment, the crowd around them starts to raise their fingers to their lips before proudly holding them up in the air. There’s a sense of unity Emily feels in that moment, one she never thought she’d get to see from the districts, and she hopes all the fighting will mean something.

After a moment some one appears from the crowd, and Emily is surprised to see Gale, whom she hadn’t even realized had left 13. Katniss also seems to be perplexed by his presence, but she follows after him quickly when he leads them away from the crowd.

Gale takes them to where the rest of the people are gathering to be put into groups. There's a mass of people, and Emily is surprised at how many have managed to make it to the Capitol.

They all wait in a crowd, some people murmuring and turning their heads to look at Katniss and her as they wait for someone to take the stage. It goes on like that for a few minutes, with Gale and Katniss exchanging a few words and Gale trying to understand what Katniss was doing in the Capitol. She explains that she came for Snow, and Gale doesn’t even need to ask to understand that she and Emily intend to go about it alone.

He goes to tell her something about it, but a woman takes the stage, effectively shutting down conversations happening in the crowd.

The woman introduces herself as Commander Paylor, and Emily briefly remembers her being in District 2

Emily can’t help but feel inspired by the speech Commander Paylor gives, and by the end of it, she feels her nerves disappearing and determination taking root instead. She had never quite felt that empowered to fight, and she briefly wondered why Commander Paylor hadn’t been around more often.

During the speech, they had been informed that they would have to wait until dawn of the next day for the groups to push out into the city; until then, she and Katniss would wait around with Gale as they awaited further instructions.

It took about an hour before they were assigned a number and then directed to tents to await the rest of their members. As they settled in, she and Katniss looked over the materials and food rations each team got. Both girls waited until Gale went to look at other equipment before grabbing all their rations and storing them in their bags, hoping that if they were smart with them, they’d be able to make them last a while.

As she and Katniss reviewed all their things while sitting on a cot, Gale came over to them, watching what they were doing intently and instantly making Emily slow her movements to appear more natural.

“Looks like you guys have your meals covered,” He eventually said.

“Just trying to be prepared,” Katniss replied.

“Don’t lie to me,” Gale instantly shot back.

“I don't know much about Emily, but Katniss, we’ve been hunting together all our lives. I know when you’re going off on your own.”

There was silence between the three after Gale’s words. Emily didn’t know what to say, and when Gale looked over at her, she quickly placed her gaze back onto her bag. She didn’t want to get in the middle of whatever Gale and Katniss had going on. Katniss had trusted him enough to tell him why she decided to come fight, but her silence and reluctance to answer whether or not she was doing that alone made her feel like it was purposeful that she had gone on this mission with Emily and not Gale.

After no answer, Gale continued, “You gonna leave me behind too?”

Katniss looks at Gale then, and a look crosses her face as she speaks, “As your fellow soldier, I suggest you stay with your unit, but I couldn’t stop you if you wanted to come.”

The conversation ends when a woman who introduces herself as Lieutenant Jacks calls them all up. She shows them the members she has gathered who will be joining them and calls them the best of the best.

Emily listens to their names but doesn’t try doing much to remember them because she knows soon she will be going her separate way. There’s a second of silence before Katniss speaks.

“Finnick?” She questions walking away from Emily. Emily’s head swivels around, watching as Finnick walks toward the group, his arms tucked behind him as he holds his trident.

Emily can’t hear the rest of Katniss’ words as her ears fill with static. She can’t think straight, can’t even get herself to move. All she can do is stare at Finnick and Katniss as they walk closer to the group.

This is all wrong. Finnick shouldn’t be there; he should be in 13, where it’s safe and she knows nothing can get to him. Her heart beats so fast that she can practically feel it leaping from her chest as her mind tries to make sense of Finnick being mere steps from her.

Only when he has finally gotten to the group does he let his attention stray from Katniss and onto those around. His eyes linger on Emily the longest, an indecipherable look hidden in them that she knows can’t mean anything good when all he does is give her a slight nod before looking away.

Emily wants to grab him, wants to question why, why would he come? But she can’t move, can’t do a single thing but stare at him as she feels her fear come in violent waves.

The only thing that gets her to look elsewhere is the arrival of even more people.

Boggs walks into the tent with the crew Emily has come to know as Katniss’ recording unit. They had followed her into District 12, and then again to 8, where they recorded Katniss taking down a Capitol hovercraft. As far as Emily understood, they were usually only ever around when they needed to get footage of Katniss for the rebellion, so seeing them here was confusing.

“Squad 451, you’re my unit. Lieutenant Jackson is my second in command. Each one of you is elite in some form of combat, but we are a non-combat unit. So we’ll be following days behind the front line troops.”

As soon as he finished, Cressida continued, “You’re to be the on-screen faces of the invasion. The Star Squad. It’s been decided that you’re more effective when you’re seen by the masses.”

Katniss and she share a look, neither one of them looking pleased with the news that even while out in the Capitol, they’ll be kept away from any of the fighting.

“So we’re not going to fight?” Gale questions with a bit of annoyance.

“You’ll do whatever you’re ordered to do, soldier, it’s not your job to ask questions,” Boggs immediately responds, and it’s clear to all of them they will not be getting out of this arrangement.

“Yes sir,” Gale replies as he shifts his gaze to the ground.

Boggs continues speaking, explaining to them the dangers that await them in the Capitol. He goes on to show the group a holo they have received showing the city littered with orange dots. The orange dots, he explains, are pods that can trigger a number of different traps.

It’s so eerily similar to the games, and apparently, she isn’t the only one who thinks so, because from a few feet away, she can hear Finnick whisper that very thing to Katniss.

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 76th Hunger Games.”