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My dream is you

Summary:

After a mission leaves them cursed with nightmares of each other suffering, Hualian decides to comfort each other the best way they know: being stupidly in love, sappy, and doing a bit of lighthearted teasing.

Notes:

To my self proclaimed most devoted reader on your birthday:
Your comments are full of so much excitement that I always find myself excited to see how you’ll react too. You give me so many great screams about the fluff and I can tell you love Hualian as much as I do. I’m so honored that you like my work so much that you read some of my fics completely blind to tags or summary. I’ve had authors I do that for but I never knew I would be that for someone else.
We know very little about each other, only talk through AO3 comments, and definitely live far from each other based on what our timezones seem to be. But we both share joy with each other and I think that’s wonderful. And that’s really what TGCF is all about, isn’t it? How small actions can bring such great joy to strangers? I wrote. And you commented, and commented, and commented. And that’s how simple happiness can be.
I didn’t write your first request for personal reasons, so I mixed two other requests you've given me and was happy to find that it was a bit longer than usual for you.
Happy birthday, babe!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It was pure recklessness really. Xie Lian and Hua Cheng had found very little could stand a chance against one of them, let alone both of them. So, having been dealing with a demon they had gotten a few desperate prayers about, they set out to have a nice evening together and maybe use the creature as a punching bag. And perhaps they had both been showing off a little toying with the thing and perhaps they'd tasted the consequences of their actions in the form of a nasty curse.

They had killed the little pest in the end of course, but it hadn’t been until later that they realized the curse had been placed on them at all.

***

Xie Lian felt the chain around his neck snap as Hua Cheng’s ashes were yanked off him. Vicious and blind with rage, Xie Lian tried to grab them back, but he couldn’t, the vague shadowy figure holding them always seemed just out of reach. He needed to free Hua Cheng from where he was tied up behind him, but the ashes came first. He was much more vulnerable to something happening to them than his physical form.

Xie Lian knew he was fast, so why couldn’t he catch this thing? He wasn’t even going easy on it, using his full strength to try to catch it but still, still it wasn’t enough!

The shadowy figure stopped for the briefest moment, throwing the ashes to the ground and Xie Lian lunged, hands outstretched to pull it to safety.

But it was too late.

With a sickening crack, the shadowy figure stomped down on the ashes, collapsing them into dust.

“No!” Xie Lian screamed, whipping around in horror as Hua Cheng burst into a dazzling show of wraith butterflies.

But unlike last time they did not take to the sky.

This time they fell dead, littering the floor with their silvery corpses.

Xie Lian could feel the red string around his finger unravel, falling off completely as his husband vanished from this world for good.

"San Lang!" Xie Lian writhed in their bed, drenched in sweat as he awoke from his nightmare. It was a nightmare, he knew, because Hua Cheng's ashes still hung heavy on his chest. Safe and whole. He clutched them like a lifeline.

But the bed was empty. "San Lang!" He called out, anxiety coloring his tone. And he shouldn't have been so worried. If he'd been in his right mind, he would've remembered Hua Cheng hadn't come to bed with him last night, still having tasks to do in Ghost City. But Xie Lian wasn't clear of mind and he needed his husband in front of him, whole and safe and real.

A wraith butterfly danced in front of him. Usually it would've been fine. Usually he liked seeing the reminders of his husband's presence in their home. But with the fresh image of that shattered form, he flinched away from it, fear rising in his throat like bile.

Remembering another check, he looked down at his right hand. There was nothing there.

There was nothing there.

Xie Lian screamed, panic that felt outside of him mixing with his own and making his mind swirl in wild anxiety he had not known in centuries.

"Your highness, what's wrong?" Hua Cheng's voice was urgent and frightened in his ear, gentle hands cupping his face and drawing his eyes towards the loving face of his husband.

"You're alive," Xie Lian trembled, pulling him so close it would've broken the bones of an ordinary human.

"Gege? What's wrong?"

"I thought— I didn't— The red string..." He shook his head, trying to calm the little quakes going through him.

"What about the red string, gege?" Hua Cheng prompted gently.

"It's gone. It's not on my hand anymore," Xie Lian sobbed.

"Gege. The red string is still there." Hua Cheng made the string between them visible, the familiar thread weaving through the space around them and leading down directly to Xie Lian's hand. His left hand.

"Oh," Xie Lian moved his hands up to tangle in Hua Cheng's hair to ground himself. "I'm sorry for worrying you, San Lang. I didn't interrupt your work did I?" His voice was still trembling as he asked.

"Gege, nothing is more important than you. What happened?"

"Nightmare," Xie Lian murmured, swallowing hard and nosing at his husband's neck. "Just a nightmare."

"It's alright. Let's go back to bed, gege."

"San Lang too?"

"En, I'll hold you this time."

"You don't have more work?"

"Work can wait. My most important job is always as gege's husband."

Xie Lian wanted to assure him he was fine, that it was just a silly dream and nothing to worry about. But the fear choking him felt so foreign and the memory of that dream was still vivid in his mind. So he shakily nodded and pulled Hua Cheng back to bed, falling into a restless sleep clutching tight at his husband and the ashes around his neck. Hua Cheng sang soft lullabies to him until the sun rose. Though the words were foreign, Xie Lian could feel the love behind them all the same.

***

“San Lang!” Xie Lian cried as the sword stabbed through his heart again, blood spilling from his lips as he screamed. “Just kill me, please!”

“Your highness I’m not—“ he was a prisoner in his body, his arms stabbing the sword into Xie Lian with precise motions. His stomach. His heart. His lungs. Again and again in a terribly methodic cycle. Xie Lian's chest was bloody and shredded. Still against his will his body pierced that flesh again.

“It hurts! It hurts! Just finish it!” Xie Lian sobbed, straining against the bindings holding up his arms.

“I’m— your highness I’m not—“ he realized to his horror the rhythm of his stabbings was broken, but not by him. His hands were raising the blade higher, pressing into Xie Lian’s throat. “No! No, your highness I’m not—!”

"San Lang! San Lang!"

Hua Cheng choked on air he didn't need, his body oddly warm for a dead man. But he hardly spared his own physical condition any mind, hands reaching up too fast to be seen, cupping the face of his worried husband leaning over him. "Gege."

"I woke up from my nightmare and you were screaming. What's wrong?"

Xie Lian's hair, down and messy from sleep, shrouded them, enveloping Hua Cheng in a world that was solely his husband. It was comforting. Normally it was enough to calm any night terrors he had. So why did he still feel like everything would break apart at any moment? Maybe it was because he hadn't checked his highness was truly okay.

With surprisingly shaky hands, Hua Cheng let his fingers skate along his husband's body, checking for blood or fresh scars or missing limbs-- anything that may possibly be wrong. It wasn't the first time he'd checked his husband for wounds in such a way after a nightmare, so Xie Lian didn't question him, instead simply sitting up so Hua Cheng could better check over him.

"Gege, your heart is racing." Hua Cheng frowned as he felt the rapid pulse stuttering under his fingers.

"Just the nightmare, I'm still a little shaken up I guess. San Lang doesn't need to worry about it."

Hua Cheng took Xie Lian's left hand, kissing the string tied there. He'd left the thread connecting them visible since last night. "Same nightmare as before?"

"En. But San Lang was here when I woke up so it was easier this time. I'm more worried about you." Xie Lian reached his right hand up to tuck Hua Cheng's hair behind his ear. "You're warm." He moved his hand out of Hua Cheng's grasp, resting both his hands on his chest. "San Lang, what's wrong is Mt. Tonglu opening again somehow?"

"What?"

"You can't feel that?"

Hua Cheng turned his focus inwards, pushing past the fear suffocating him to actually take stock of himself. Xie Lian was right. His spiritual energy was going crazy. No wonder he was so warm.

"Ah," Hua Cheng sighed, a shaky, broken thing. "I thought gege's dream was odd."

"Huh?"

"When gege woke up last night his spiritual energy was all over the place. This one thought you were just worked up, forgive me."

Xie Lian put two fingers over his wrist, furrowing his brows as he tried to take in feelings besides the anxiety that his husband would suddenly shatter into a flutter of dust and dead butterflies. It was true. He'd gotten so used to his spiritual energy feeling overly abundant and foreign that he hadn't processed before but it was disturbed. Something that wasn't his or his husband's was rattling in there.

"Wasn't that demon we dealt with a dream eater?" Xie Lian asked, starting to put the pieces together.

"En. The curse must be getting activated when we fall asleep."

Xie Lian nodded, having come to the same conclusion. "That explains why it feels like..." He didn't finish, unsure how to describe it, and instead drew his husband close, rubbing his back soothingly. "Is San Lang okay?"

"I'm fine gege. Just a pesky dream." Hua Cheng kissed him, drawing in spiritual energy.

"San Lang, no." Xie Lian pushed him back.

"Gege doesn't need to suffer through such an annoying curse, let this one deal with it."

"Absolutely not. We both know our own energy will deal with the curse eventually. It'll take twice as long if San Lang takes both parts of the curse."

"But gege won't have to have any more nightmares."

"San Lang." Xie Lian kissed his forehead. "I don't want to see you hurting either."

"Its fine gege, I just won't sleep."

"Neither of us have to sleep." Xie Lian pointed out.

It was Xie Lian's win and they both knew it. Hua Cheng wouldn't force the spiritual energy out of him as much as he wanted to take the burden away from him.

"Come here."

Xie Lian drew him close again until Hua Cheng was slotted, back to his husband's chest, and loving arms around him, tangling their hands together. Xie Lian's heartbeat and the soft rise and fall of his chest against Hua Cheng's back was reassuring. His husband was safe. His husband was safe and seemed to be growing calmer at having Hua Cheng safe and whole in his arms.

"Did I die in your dream too?" Xie Lian asked after a few quiet moments settled them somewhat.

"No." He swallowed. "But you were begging to."

Xie Lian nuzzled him. "I won't anymore."

"It wasn't... I kept hurting you."

"My San Lang would never hurt me."

Hua Cheng swallowed back tears. "I'm sorry."

"My San Lang did nothing wrong. You didn't hurt me. You didn't die. We're safe." Xie Lian murmured, clearly trying to soothe himself just as much as he was trying to soothe Hua Cheng.

"I would never leave gege. I'll come back. Always. As long as my beloved is still on this earth. I promise."

Xie Lian made an affirmative noise, nuzzling him.. "San Lang, you have to promise me something else too."

"Anything." The curse-caused fear was a little more manageable now.

"If I kiss you, you can't try to take the curse onto yourself."

Hua Cheng smiled, turning in Xie Lian's lap. "I promise." He whispered the words before leaning in to kiss his husband again, taking care not to give or take anything but love.

They were both bursting with angry, desperate spiritual energy fighting off the curse that stood no chance against the force of their powers, but their kisses were so gentle, slow as honey as they softly reassured each other with their presence. I'm here, they said with every light slide of tongues. We're safe, they swore with every playful nip of each other's lips. I love you, they promised again and again, their hands experienced travelers as they mapped out the familiar territory of each other's chest and back and face and hair until they were tangling fingers and resting foreheads against each other, both of them sharing in Xie Lian's breath, noses brushing.

"My San Lang."

"Yours," Hua Cheng promised. And then, still feeling a bit off kilter, he kissed Xie Lian’s hands and murmured, “Mine?”

“Yours,” Xie Lian nodded.

He kissed at the curve between Xie Lian’s neck and shoulder, feeling the cool metal of the chain that held his ashes. And he was safe. He was always safe with his beloved.

Steady hands carded through his hair, no doubt making a mess of it but Hua Cheng didn’t mind. He could never mind when it was Xie Lian.

“I feel better.” Xie Lian breathed. “It’s easier knowing it’s just a curse.”

“Does gege want to try to sleep more?” Hua Cheng murmured against his shoulder.

“Not really. It would probably make the curse run its course faster but…” he didn’t need to explain. They both had had their share of non-curse induced night terrors. The prospect of knowing that such nightmares would definitely await them was not particularly appealing.

“Does gege want to go somewhere?”

“Does San Lang?”

Hua Cheng pulled back to pout. “I asked first.”

Xie Lian could feel the slight tremor still going through his husband. Hua Cheng was pretending to be fine because Xie Lian mostly was again, but Xie Lian had the benefit of this particular dream being his second one and slightly more time awake than his husband. Hua Cheng was getting better about letting Xie Lian in, but habits were hard to break and weakness was hard for him to admit unless Xie Lian helped him.

So, reaching out to tilt up his husband’s chin, he ran a thumb over his bottom lip to smooth out the pout. With a gentle voice and a kind smile he asked, “Would you deny your god the answer?”

Hua Cheng visibly loosened, eye dropping shut. “I don’t want to go out.”

“What does my San Lang want?”

“I want to take care of gege.”

And Xie Lian knew that was true. “How?”

“However gege wants to be taken care of.”

“I only want to be with San Lang right now. That’s all this old god needs to calm down.”

Hua Cheng adjusted his head a bit to try to kiss Xie Lian’s fingers. “That’s all this lowly one wants too.”

“Does San Lang want to be held? Or to hold?”

He opened his eye again, and Xie Lian felt just as weak to the pure devotion in that glance as he had the first time he noticed it. “I want to look at your highness.”

Xie Lian shuffled down under the covers, tugging Hua Cheng down with him until they were facing each other, red stringed hands joined between them. “Would San Lang want to play a game?”

He nodded. “What kind of game does gege want to play?”

“Hm. I thought something like that game we played with Shi Qingxuan during that whole affair with Black Water?”

“If gege wanted to strip this one he need only ask.”

“No,” Xie Lian blushed, but couldn’t help his smile at his husband’s easy teasing.

“Ah. Gege thinks I’m secretly the Reverend of Empty Words. Very well, I shall say three true things to prove myself. Gege is handsome. Gege is strong. Gege is an excellent kisser.”

“Those are opinions,” Xie Lian tried not to laugh.

“No, this husband is quite sure that they’re all facts. He’s done hands-on research.”

Xie Lian shook his head, the artificial fear buried under the fondness he felt. “If San Lang doesn’t want to play we don’t have to.”

“I want to. But won’t gege be at a disadvantage in a dice game?”

“Ah. Maybe we could leave out the dice? Just take turns?”

“Picking a command or a question?”

“En. Only one per turn.”

“Alright. Gege can go first.”

Xie Lian hummed in thought. He hadn’t really had anything in mind, just hoping for something light and silly to distract them both. “Which of your forms is your favorite? You have so many.”

“This one.”

“Really? I always thought San Lang didn’t like his true form.” Xie Lian was glad to hear that wasn’t true.

“I used to feel that way. But it’s gege’s favorite so I’m more fond of it now.”

Xie Lian couldn’t help but lean in to kiss him again, humming against his husband’s lips. “I love every version of San Lang. But I’m happy to hear San Lang likes himself a bit more now.”

Hua Cheng smiled into the kiss, happy to drift like this. It wasn’t as if there was any rush to their game. “I command gege to use my private communication array password.”

“San Lang,” Xie Lian groaned and pulled away, turning his head in towards the pillow. Still, a minute later, Xie Lian’s voice rang out as if near his ear through the array. “I command San Lang to compliment himself.”

“I have excellent tastes in husbands.” Hua Chang teased.

“That doesn’t count,” Xie Lian lifted his head to look at him again.

“I’m better than that useless trash in heaven.”

“San Lang. A real compliment to yourself.”

Hua Cheng thought for a moment, a mischief look Xie Lian knew meant trouble. “I’m very skilled in bed.”

Xie Lian laughed, drawing in to kiss him again as they spoke through the array. “I’ll let you have that one.”

“Because it’s true?”

“San Lang is fishing for compliments.”

“I command gege to praise me then.”

Xie Lian pulled back from the kiss so he could speak aloud. “My San Lang is so handsome that he has admirers everywhere we go. My San Lang is so strong he can beat almost every god in heaven. My San Lang has endless patience and more determination than anyone else I know, staying my follower for eight hundred years. My San Lang is witty and can always make me laugh. My San Lang is the best husband anyone could ask for in terms of love, attentiveness, handiness, wealth, power, and yes,” he gave his husband an exasperated look, only a little embarrassed, “in bed too.”

Hua Cheng looked incredibly pleased as he pulled Xie Lian in by the waist to cuddle closer. “This one is glad to hear he does not disappoint gege.”

“You never disappoint me. In any way.” Xie Lian murmured.

Hua Cheng nuzzled him happily. The curse felt so distant from them both now.

“Hm. What is San Lang’s favorite activity?”

“Talking to gege.”

Xie Lian supposed he should’ve known that.

“I command gege to tell heaven he’s not to be bothered for the next few days.”

“Days?”

“To deal with the curse.” Hua Cheng said, as if it were obvious.

The curse was not so major that they needed to take days off work. But, it did sound nice and those were the rules of the game, so Xie Lian reported to Ling Wen he would be busy since he and Hua Cheng had run into some trouble on their last mission. After she promised to pass the message along, Xie Lian tried to think of his next prompt. “I command San Lang to tell me something he’s afraid makes him weak.”

Hua Cheng’s hands tightened a bit on his waist. “Even after all these centuries I’m still afraid of the nightmares.”

Xie Lian let his hands trail up and down his husband’s back. “That doesn’t make San Lang weak.”

“I wasn’t even the one who was stabbed.”

“Sometimes watching a loved one get hurt is it’s own trauma.” He thought of his parents. Of Wuming. Of the countless strangers he’d met and grieved. “San Lang has never shamed me for my nightmares.”

“It’s different.”

“You think everything’s different with me. San Lang is not weak for loving me.”

“Never. Love makes me strong,” Hua Cheng agreed.

“So he is not weak for being afraid for me.” Xie Lian insisted.

Hua Cheng went quiet, a gentle lull in their game. Xie Lian didn’t particularly care if they kept playing or not. Just as long as they were together it was fine.

“I command gege to kiss me.” Hua Cheng said at last.

Xie Lian gave him a single peck, much to his husband’s clear disappointment. “Where does San Lang like receiving kisses the most— besides his lips?”

Hua Cheng looked to the side. “I like when gege kisses my missing eye.”

Xie Lian smiled, leaning forward to do so. “I like that too.”

“Where does gege like to be kissed?”

Xie Lian was fairly sure his husband knew the answer from how much attention he showed the spot, but bared his neck anyways. “Where the shackle used to be.”

Hua Cheng leaned in, pressing delicate kisses along the center of his neck.

“I command San Lang to let me carry him everywhere tomorrow.”

Hua Cheng smiled up at him. “I command gege to let me dress him up as he deserves in the morning.”

“I command San Lang to let me spoil him.”

“I command gege to let me spoil him.”

“We can’t both get spoiled.”

“Why not?”

“How do we decide who gets to spoil the other if we’re both supposed to be spoiled?”

“We’ll take turns, gege. Just like this.” Hua Cheng pressed another kiss to his throat.

“Alright. But I command San Lang to let me wash his hair later.”

“And I command gege to let me wash his.”

They grinned at each other. It would be a hassle to avoid sleep the next few days and a bigger hassle to suffer the consequences if they did fall asleep, but as long as they had each other, everything was going to be fine. It always was.

Notes:

Not real angst because you said no angst but you told me you wanting comfort after nightmares. There’s gotta be nightmares for that to happen :p
Also will probably use comfort after nightmares as a prompt for my nonsexual intimacy series still to be honest, this one just didn’t fit that vibe to join that series.
Hope you enjoyed (everyone not just fangurks)