Chapter Text
"but is that suffering not enough...? i ask you this, zifen: what is life if not being able to choose? to love, to grow and be free? give her this chance— our child— and, in turn, i promise to protect her with all my life."
━━━━
jinmi looks up at the flower fairy, eagerness bright in her eyes as she presents a glossy ganoderma that she had been told to harvest.
mu dan smiles, nodding. "very good, jinmi. it seems that all these practices that the water immortal told us are paying off well."
at this, the younger fairy blushes, "daddy is too proud of my achievements— even for the mundane ones. i sometimes wonder if it's only to feed my ego."
lao hu, who places the pot of ganoderma on the window sill, only clicks his tongue. "nonsense! nonsense! a flower fairy as young as you rarely excel in harvesting with these types of magical flowers— and your mother happens to be one of them. the water immortal is quite right to boast about our jinmi's progress!"
mu dan smiles again, placing a hand on jinmi's shoulder, before urging her outside the cottage. "come. your mother must be missing you."
it only takes a few minutes of walking before they reach the late flower deity's shrine, soft, pink petals brushing on jinmi's cheek as she takes a seat to present her gifts.
a little later, she is left alone and staring up at the sky, recalling stories to her mother— of what her studies are about in the water realm, the visits she was allowed to join in disguise, and the yun elixir that still sits at the bottom of her drawer.
she tells her mother that she misses her terribly even when she was unable to meet her formally; about the unfairness of it, 4000 years later. that she would've enjoyed hearing her journey herself as a flower deity, instead of vignettes from people who know of her.
the flower fairies, her father and auntie could only tell her a few and, even then, she knows that they were hiding some things that she's not allowed to.
she understands their hesitation, though… still, wouldn't it be nice?
before she knows it, another petal kisses her cheek and its only a little later that she realizes she's crying.
with a heavy heart, she says her goodbye and a promises to return, making her way back to the cottage that was provided to her during her visit to the floral realm.
there was something odd, however, and it isn't until she opens the door that she finds out what it is.
━━━━
long after lian qiao left, jinmi stands staring at the scorched bird on her bed, head tilted in thought of what to do.
suddenly, she is reminded of the many warnings that her father instilled on her; the heat on the chief flower fairy's eyes everytime a mention of the bird tribe comes up to a conversation.
and jinmi... jinmi is nothing but curious: this is the first time she has encountered a bird that is obviously in disguise and she wants to figure out who it was.
"surely, you are somewhat alive and you're hurt. but i must be cautious as father advised— and i should tell the chief flower fairy of your appearance yet…" jinmi is at odds.
this being must be powerful enough to surpass the shui jing built by the flower fairies themselves— a shield that even her father and aunt had recasted after their visit.
if it posed a threat, she must alarm them of it, tell them that an immortal being had successfully breached the boundary even if it cost it a whole lot of injuries. but nothing happened and it keeps not happening in her presence, so, with that, she is quick on her feet.
"if i get scolded from this, so be it. what can a single, dying bird do to me?"
in the secrecy of her room, she quietly heals him: brewing an antidote that she figured would give him a quick recovery— murmuring ingredients on top of her head as she stirs (and stirs and stirs) before administering a dollop to him.
once done, she sits by the window next to her new pot of ganoderma, thinking of excuses to the chief flower fairy and her parents about the strange presence come morning.
she worries about this up to the moment she falls asleep.
━━━━
jinmi wakes to a set of eyes staring at her from across the room, and it is with a silent scream that she remembers what transpired last night.
she knocks a chair over, body flushed on the wall as the bird stands to its full height, blackened robes chipping away as he does so.
"you— you… how long have you been awake?!" she asks with a stammer, eyes shifting towards the door then back at the stranger.
oh, you foolish girl. why are you so afraid now?
the bird only tilts his head, gaze penetrating that it makes jinmi's heart skip a bit. luckily for her, the bird glances away, now busy with looking around her room like he was expected to be there and investigate.
jinmi gulps. why is she so tensed, anyway? this is her home and she is the child of two immortals, surely, there is no reason to fear.
"i asked you a question, stranger! how long have you been awake?" she repeats, pushing herself off the wall once the bird turns his back on her, his hand flat next to the cauldron of medicine she administered to him last night.
"long enough to realize that i am in a presence of a fairy who can't pose a threat," is his answer, a smirk donning his face when he faces her again, the dagger her father gifted her on her name day trembling on her grip. he seems to be so sure of his statement, then, sitting back down on the edge of her bed. "is it right to assume that i'm in the floral realm?"
jinmi doesn't lower her dagger, sizing up the bird the way she was taught to; he was far too tall than her, wide shoulders and much more intimidating than the men she's met before.
it would be best to keep alert the way she reminded herself last night— way before this scorched bird turned into a… a handsome man.
jinmi inwardly shakes her head.
"you're quite right," she replies with more force, watching the way the bird is regarding her in return. "i shall also remind you that you are in my home and i healed you."
the stranger chuckles, leaning back briefly. "ah, so i shall be indebted and not hurt you, yes?" with a quirked brow, he clutches his side then winces, looking down at the exposed skin to see an ugly, pink scar puckered under his ribs, splotches of yellow and purple and dark red painted on his pale skin.
suddenly, jinmi is concerned. she knew a few hours of sleep cannot completely heal the damage done to him. "don't touch it yet. the wound may have closed up but it's still tender. moving too much would strain and may accidentally tear it open again."
the stranger looks up, staring at her for a long time before placing his hand back down.
silence stretched on from there, jinmi waiting for a sliver of threat that could befall her from the hands of this stranger.
a bird: the kind that she was told to avoid.
curious. so curious.
with a sigh of defeat, the quietness bordering on all levels of discomfort, she hides her dagger, never straying her eyes from the man as she makes her way to the door. it has grown stuffy there. "you are weakened and hungry. making a journey out of here with your wound would prove strenuous and could only endanger you further." she opens the door, the slight breeze brushing on her skin calming her racing heart. "come. i'll prepare something for you to eat."
she does not wait for his reply, going towards her makeshift garden to pick for vegetables that she could stew for him. then, stared long enough at the soil to decide whether he eats worms the way actual birds do— but no, no.
he was still a man as she is a woman. worms, she finds, will never be appetizing for breakfast.
━━━━
it is after he's taken his fill that he asks her of her name.
"jinmi," is her short reply, offering him a cup of the medicine she had finished heating up while he ate. "and you?"
she did not expect to receive a raised brow in response, but that is what she gets either way, the stranger's penetrating eyes staring at her again. "you do not know of me?"
jinmi only shrugs, unable to meet his eyes any longer. she feels that she will melt and turn into a puddle if she isn't being very careful. "should i? i only know that you are a bird and nothing more."
"and you healed me…" he says this like it's the most incredulous thing he's ever heard; and she gets it, she truly does.
the longer she thinks of it, the more afraid she is of father's reaction.
surely, he would be disappointed.
maybe, maybe. should we keep this a secret, jinmi?
"i only saw a bird burnt and dying," she tells him with honesty, sitting at the table across from him. "and i have a fair idea on how to save it, so i did what i had to do."
when she looks at him again, one corner of his lips is tugged upwards as if he was deciding to smile and laugh.
"burnt, you say?" he recounts, and she nods slowly, finding herself suddenly feeling humiliated with the way he says the word; like he wasn't actually blackened when lian qiao brought him to her home.
"is there something funny?" she couldn't help but ask, an uneasiness rolling down her spine.
the stranger doesn't answer.
he does the one thing that jinmi is growing to be familiar with.
he stares.
(later that night, when he's resting and sleeping on her bed again, she dreams of those for the first time of many.)
━━━━
he recovers fast, and in their shared quiet companionship with limited conversations in between, they settle into a routine.
an obedient patient, this stranger of hers, never toeing out of line and listening to her advice when it comes to his recovery. she's getting better at meeting those endless pools of his with her own, too, whenever she catches him— and finds herself rejoicing when it is him that looks away first.
she sees him outside the garden sometimes, admiring the abundance of flowers blooming on their own beds during the mornings. if he is not also concentrating on healing himself through meditation, he would visit the springs she showed him on his first few days under her care and relax there.
but most times, he watches her from his spot on the window sill, thumbing the ganoderma plant while she practices her magic.
isn't this why she was advised to stay at shui jing in the first place for a while? if the chief flower fairy found out that she had entertained a trespasser and forgot to study, she would be as good as dead.
she could not bear to see disappointment from father's face.
"chief mudan will be visiting me here soon," she tells him one night after administering his medicine. "it is best that she would not see you unless you want to bring trouble."
the stranger looks up at her, calculating in his post by the table. "is that it?"
jinmi blinks. "is what it?"
the bird sets the cup down, facing the window and looking outside. "the boundary," he says plainly, then glances at her over his shoulder. "are you not a prisoner?"
she is laughing before she could stop herself, and when the stranger began to look offended, she laughs even harder. "my apologies. i had not expected that you'd come to that conclusion."
he purses his lips just as she wipes the tears beading at the corner of her eyes. "then why are you alone here? locked away from the world outside?"
this has been the most inquisitive of him, jinmi realizes. perhaps, those questions have been itching at him and she finds herself suddenly eager to tell him the truth.
"remember, jinmi. it's not safe. let the time pass— this is my only wish. for your safety."
"i'm not. no, not at all," she tells him. "but maybe, i am. truly depends on how someone would look at it."
he does it again, this staring, and jinmi is suddenly nervous.
shy.
"you don't need to worry. i've overstayed and disturbed you more than what was necessary. i'll be taking my leave come morning."
(and sad, too.)
━━━━
it doesn't happen as planned because, just as when he transforms into a phoenix in front of her eyes, chief flower fairy mudan and her father visit her little cottage almost in a rush.
the gasp she let out is stuttered and then the bird— phoenix — stares at her in question again, before settling back to the water immortal.
"daddy… chief flower fairy, i can explain—"
"— lord luolin?"
"—your majesty, how—"
"...jinmi!"
━━━━
it's the first time in a while, being treated like a child, but she finds that this punishment is expected.
she had welcomed a stranger into a place that was erected solely for her safety— to avoid someone like him.
in fact, he is the personification of the danger her elders had warned her about.
son of the heavenly emperor and heavenly empress: the same people that brought demise to her late mother. an arrogant immortal who had blood on his hands and rejoiced for it; paraded his conquests and displayed them in shelves for those willing to see carnage.
he poses a danger to her, is what the way her father describes him in secret— but one too many times, she finds herself seeking him.
and without fail, he happens to be doing the same even as her father keeps him in his company.
"i deeply apologize again for trespassing," is what he says when the water immortal is finished with his private conversation with him; about what, jinmi has no clue. "let it be known that i owe flower fairy jinmi my gratitude for healing me."
there is tightness in mudan's eyes, suspicion evident in her disposition. "there is no need, your highness. we are still subordinates of the heavenly realm, after all. we serve those who are in need of our help."
jinmi bows her head, feeling the disappointment draping over her shoulders while those words spill from one of the women she admires and trusts the most.
the phoenix is not an idiot either because he exhales heavily and nods, the distrust palpable to him. but then— "lady jinmi."
she blinks, glancing away from the dirt on her shoes and up to the phoenix's face, unprepared to see a slight smile curved on his lips. "...yes?"
in a slow second, she finds his hand reaching for hers, a breath stuck on her chest as his lips brush against her knuckles. when his eyes meet hers through his lashes, something warm blooms on her chest and pink dusts on her cheeks. "it was a delight meeting you."
and then, he's gone.