Chapter Text
“Though it is, I admit the tiniest bit unlike I anticipated
But I couldn't be happier/ Simply couldn't be happier
Well, not "simply" 'Cause getting your dreams
It's strange, but it seems, a little, well, complicated
(I couldn't be happier – Wicked)
“You are upset” said Lan Wangji after arriving to the Hanshi to find his spouse laying on the floor, looking at the ceiling with several empty jugs of wine next to him. An invitation opened on a nearby table . It was addressed to the Chief Cultivator and his spouse and had the Jiang lotus seal. Lan Wangji was invited to his little brother’s wedding , and he was the unnamed extension. The plus one.
He chocked a laugh. That was an understatement. “What makes you think so?”
Wei Wuxian didn’t want to talk right now. He just wanted to stay there... quiet on the floor... thinking and re-thinking his life choices.
“The invitation…”
“The wine is over.”
“I see”.
Wei Wuxian couldn’t even complain about Sect Leader Jiang. The man hadn’t done a thing against him since the temple. The man didn’t do anything, really. They met a couple times and Jiang Wanyin wasn’t hostile like before. He didn’t move a muscle to get closer or directed to him more than small greetings. Even so, Lan Wangji acted like a shield and the former demoniac cultivator hid there, because he couldn’t summon enough courage to face his brother again.
Not after everything.
Jiang Cheng’s distraught tears back at the Guanyin Temple still shamed him. No one was supposed to know. No one was supposed to witness that. He had taken even that from his brother... his pride.
Wei Wuxian knew all the damage he caused quite well. The trail of destruction and suffering he let behind and there was no way he could ever compensate it. The best he could do was just not be a liability anymore. To not cause more harm. To not be any more of a burden.
“Always stand with justice and live with no regret”
Only an arrogant teenager could come out with such bullshit. There were times when no victory was possible. It was inevitable. The one thing one could do was choosing the regrets They could stomach. The less unbearable ones. And even knowing he would have done everything again - he would have saved Lan Zhan, he would have given his core to Jiang Wayin, he would have helped the Wens, he would have given Wen Qing her brother back - he still regreted everything he abandoned along the way.
It was almost crippling how much he missed his past life at times. His former family... Sometimes he still felt crushed by the weight of his choices and their consequences, but the wine always helped placating the storm inside of him.
“He really isn’t my brother anymore, is he?” he asked, his voice full of sorrow, before the tears started rolling down and he covered his face with one arm. That wasn’t really a question, but a statement.
The other man had hated him for Years, his anger burning bright and destructive to the point he hunted and killed other demoniac cultivators. But the last few months changed that. That flame was no more, it seemed to have gone out completely, but so were the bounds that had tied them together, set aflame by the spark of hatred and reduced to ash now that the fire had gone out. Now there was nothing. Not even the hate.
The past was... finally gone, but not really, because it still hurt sometimes. The memories of everything that was lost.
No... He couldn’t really complain. He was very much blessed with this new life: he found his soul mate in Lan Zhan, his lost child in Sizhui, his true friend in Wen Ning, he got his revenge, cleaned his name and even got to foster a relationship with his nephew. He couldn’t be happier. Nevertheless, all that happiness had cost him dearly.
Lan Wangji stayed there in silence, respecting his husband pain. They would never be able to tak when his husband got like that , caught in old memories of people that did not exist anymore. Jiang Wanyin grew up to be the vilest and the most despicable creature, but Wei Wuxian was still found of him somehow. He would still find excused to the other bad behavior and Lan Wangji couldn’t stand that. Not anymore.
He wanted to protect his loved one from everyone and everything, but the Yungmeng Jiang had always won this particular fight . The roots of their evil charm on Wei Wuxian were too deep for him to be able to extract completely and there was nothing Lan Wangji hated more than the notion of being helpless to save his beloved from any kind of pain .
“It was in your past life” Lan Wangji did the best he could to console his husband, but the words seemed to only upset Wei Wuxian more, the words that stumbled out Lan Wangji’s mouth were only a reminder of another broken promise that was yet floating in the air with its eternal call to action:
“In our next lives, let’s be brothers again, ok?”
“You know …we vowed to be brothers again in our next life” he tried to laugh, but it got stuck in his throat and he ended up sobbing instead.
Lan Wangji watched with a aching heart. He knew it was useless, all he could ever do on this occasions was to sit next to Wei Wuxian and offered his unwavering support.
The other man took his time recomposing himself, than he was back sitting next to his husband, a half sly smile on his face:
“Come here” Wei Wuxian grabbed Lan Wangji’s robe and pulled him close, kissing him in the mouth. Next, he was getting rid of their clothes.
Lan Wangji didn’t like it. It wasn’t the first time Wei Wuxian had drunk his sorrows or fucked his way out of his pain, but that was all he could do at the moment, so he gave his husband the comfort he could. They would talk again in the morning and he would burn that funking invitation.