Work Text:
I
The first time it happened, it was purely an accident. Minjeong’s 17, and she was at the peak of high-school.
Minjeong was running down the halls, the squeaks of her school shoes echoing the almost deserted hallway. There are students milling around the area yet their conversations were merely a strange white noise to Minjeong’s ears as she pays them little to no mind. The only thing in her mind right now was Yizhuo’s text. And she was on a mission. Upon seeing a faculty member, she slows her pace to a walk. She gave Ms. Son a slight tilt of her head with a dashing smile. And once she sees her rounding the corner, she breaks into a sprint once again.
“Minjeong!” Yizhuo waves her over.
Some students are already there, patting one another at the back as the bulletin board in front them was plastered with this year’s honor roll.
“So, did we get in?” Minjeong asks, a little impatient as she meets Yizhuo halfway.
“I’m not sure. Couldn’t get a good look yet.” Yizhuo sulks, standing on her tallest tiptoes as she cranes her neck to try, and see past the row of students who seems to be towering over them.
“Come on.”
Minjeong takes Yizhuo’s hand, and squeezes herself in the crowd, mumbling an apology as she digs her elbows in their sides to move past them. And when she’s reached the front, Minjeong wasted no time in looking for their names in the long list of students.
She’d long since let go of Yizhuo’s hand so she grapples for it blindly again to her right. Yizhuo’s hand automatically entangling with her. She’s gripping it with much force than necessary this time but Minjeong couldn’t find it in herself to care because those are their names right there! They’ve made top students, and Minjeong was just so happy. She couldn’t wait to share the news to her parents.
Minjeong jerks her head to her right, a blinding smile on her face only for the words to get stuck in her throat.
“You’re not Yizhuo.” Minjeong blurts out.
The woman was probably a foot taller than her. Dark hair, dark eyes. Pretty. She bit her lip before blinking at Minjeong. As if she’d just realized herself what she was doing as her eyes trailed down to their joined hands, a small smile paints her lips. “No, but I kind of needed that, thanks.”
“Okay?” Minjeong lets the words hang between them. She hadn’t seen this girl before. If she did, she would’ve remembered.
“I was nervous. I thought I wasn’t going to make it this year.” The woman sighs then ever so slowly, as if she’s hesitating at the prospect of letting go, she drops Minjeong’s hand.
“Oh. Congrats, I guess.”
The woman’s smile stretched into the biggest smile that reaches her eyes, “Thank you. I’m Jimin.”
“Minjeong.”
It’s the start of something new.
II
They’re in college when Minjeong finds out Jimin’s afraid of flying.
They were currently on a university trip to Jeju.
And Jimin hadn’t stopped bouncing her leg since the moment they sat in the airport waiting lounge.
Minjeong doesn’t say anything at first, amiably sipping her coffee when Jimin’s voice breaks the silence, “Can I have a sip?”
Minjeong raises an amused eyebrow, “Are you sure it’s a good idea to add more caffeine in your system?” She pointedly eyed Jimin’s bouncing leg, which immediately stopped the moment those words slipped past her lips.
Jimin huffs, burying her face into the scarf around her neck, mumbling something incoherent that Minjeong couldn’t quite hear.
Minjeong faces her fully, “Jimin, are you okay?”
“Yeah.” Jimin croaks out. She swipes her palms against the rough patch of her jeans.
Minjeong’s voice was soft when she speaks, she brought a finger under Jimin’s chin, making the taller girl face her instead, “You wanna try that again?”
Jimin sighs, her shoulders immediately slumping, “I’m scared.”
Minjeong tilts her head, turning the words in her mind before the cogs in her brain started working, “Of flying?”
“Of falling.” Jimin stresses out, there’s a pink tint to her cheeks now. “I just—I always have this irrational thought in my mind. But when we’re already in the air, I’ll be fine, I promise.”
Minjeong couldn’t help the fondness creeping inside her chest, seizing her heart in a vice grip. She can’t help but suddenly feel protective towards the taller girl, “Okay. Is there any way you do to alleviate the fear?”
Jimin clears her throat before speaking as she mumbled the words. Minjeong has to strain her ear to hear.
“Sorry, what was that?”
“I said my mom would usually hold my hand during take off. I never travel on plane without my family. This is my first.” Jimin averted her gaze again. Shy Jimin was unusual. From the moment she met the girl, Jimin had always took the reins. So, it was interesting to see a chip in her perfectly golden armor.
“It’s a good thing we’re seatmates then.”
“You… you’ll hold my hand?”
Minjeong rolled her eyes fondly, as if Jimin just told her the most basic rule in this planet, “Of course. Who else?”
“Thanks. That—that means a lot, Minjeong.” Jimin heaves out a sigh of relief while Minjeong tries to hide her smile behind the rim of her cup.
Later on, when they’re settled in their seats, Jimin would shut her eyes tightly while Minjeong would reach for Jimin’s hands. Jimin would intertwine their fingers together, and Minjeong wouldn’t let go, even if she felt like Jimin was going to break her own fingers with how tight she was gripping. She would only let go when Jimin had fallen asleep, and she had to inevitably reach out to fix Jimin’s bangs as it falls across her face perfectly.
She’d let Jimin sleep on her shoulders for the rest of the flight.
Minjeong doesn’t say anything even if she’d had a bad neck cramp all throughout the trip.
III
Jimin was crying. The sounds of her wracking sobs was tearing through Minjeong’s heart.
And it hurts Minjeong that she couldn’t do anything about it. She can’t tell her it’s okay, it’ll pass because it’s not. It won’t. How do you get over losing someone very important to you? Minjeong had long realized that you don’t, you just learn to live with it, and eventually, the pain just stops.
Jimin’s mother has been battling cancer. But Minjeong wouldn’t remember her for that. She would remember Mrs. Yu as the beautiful, kind soul who took Minjeong in as if she was her own daughter.
So Minjeong doesn’t say anything. Instead, she reaches for Jimin’s hand. Hopes that that was okay for now.
You’re not alone.
Jimin tangles their fingers together.
They lower the casket.
Minjeong doesn’t let go.
IV
Jimin’s 25, already working her way up to being a successful business woman while Minjeong’s just 24 fresh out of grad school.
It’s also the moment she realizes she’s in love with her bestfriend.
It’s crazy. They weren’t even doing something trivial. Jimin was merely humming softly as she tinkered around the kitchens. She took it upon herself to make Minjeong’s dinner upon hearing over the phone that the younger girl was sick.
Jimin’s still in her work clothes in Minjeong’s tiny apartment kitchen.
It’s all so domestic.
And it’s so not fair.
“You really didn’t have to run all the way here, you know? I told you I’m fine.” Minjeong places a palm under her chin as her eyes followed Jimin’s movements under the soft glow of her kitchen.
Jimin snorts, her tone laced with amusement, “The snot in your nose would beg to differ.”
Minjeong automatically swipes at her nose, and when she finds it snot free, she throws Jimin a weak glare, “I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.”
“What are you making?”
Jimin scratches at her cheek meekly, “I’m honestly going blind here. I just googled something on the way here then grabbed some stuff on the first convenience store I saw.”
“You can’t be serious.” Minjeong deadpans. “So, you’re basically making me eat poison.”
“Have a little faith, Minjeong.” Jimin argues back, bottom lip jutting out.
The pair continued in relative silence until Minjeong’s boredom eventually won out. She stood up from her seat, connects her phone to a bluetooth speaker as she opened up a random playlist. She was mindlessly scrolling through the songs when she hears Jimin yelping in pain.
Minjeong was by her side in a flash, and sees Jimin cradling her fingers close when she enters the kitchen. She bridged the gap between them, reaching for Jimin’s hand to examine the small cut on her finger.
Minjeong clucks her tongue. It’s not deep, but it sure as hell bleeding a lot and it’s going to need some bandages. She drags Jimin away from the knife she’d been using earlier.
“Minjeong dinner—“
“Can wait.” Minjeong cuts her off as she led her to the living room. She makes Jimin sit on the couch before padding towards the bathroom where she stashes her first aid kit.
Jimin was sulking, very heavily, while Minjeong wraps her finger in a band aid.
“Are you mad?” Jimin’s voice was small, as if she was a kid that’s going to be reprimanded anytime soon.
Minjeong throws her a small teasing smile, Jimin’s still averting her gaze, and Minjeong notes the way the tips of her ears are turning red. “From now on, we leave the cooking to me, got it?”
“I just wanted to do something for you.”
Silly, Jimin. She doesn’t know that just by being here, Minjeong was already feeling significantly ten times better.
Minjeong ends up cooking for them, anyway. Jimin sulks all the way through dinner until Minjeong allowed her to dry the dishes she was washing just so the taller girl would stop pouting. They were standing side by side, the soft lull of Jimin’s voice would bring an unexplainable tug inside her chest as she talks about her day.
And that’s where Minjeong thinks, oh, maybe she is in love with this.
V
Minjeong was weaving through the crowd. Trying to crane her neck as her eyes scanned for the person she hadn’t seen all day.
“Minjeong, happy birthday!” She hears someone shout to her right, and when she turns her head she was met with the sight of Jisu clinging to a very tipsy Yeji. The taller girl raised a toast to Minjeong, a dopey smile on her face that Minjeong can’t help but release a laugh upon seeing. Yeji looked so silly.
“It’s not yet midnight, but thank you.” Minjeong nudges her chin towards Yeji, “Is your girlfriend okay?”
Jisu rolls her eyes, but the smile on her lips would betray the notion, “She’ll live. Don’t worry.”
“Do you guys need a ride home?”
Jisu shakes her head, “It’s fine. I didn’t drink too much. And I won’t drive, we’ll uber. Don’t worry too much, birthday girl! It’s your party.”
“Yeah!” Yeji slurs, slightly tipping forward but Jisu was quick to grab her by the back of her jacket to stand her upright, “Cool party, Minjeong!”
“Okay. Take it easy, Yeddeong.” Minjeong instinctively reached out a hand to balance Yeji as Jisu throws her an appreciative smile. She turns her head once again, biting her lip as she asks, “Have you seen Jimin?”
“I think she was in the kitchens earlier.”
Minjeong nods as she turns to leave the couple, she squeezes through the crowd, but before she could take another step forward, an arm was snaking around her midriff to stop her, and Minjeong was prepared to tell the intruder off when she hears the familiar deep voice caressing her ears.
“Where are you off to, birthday girl?”
Minjeong spins around, still in Jimin’s arms. And oh, she can feel her own heartbeat rattling in her chest as it rivalled the pounding bass of music surrounding them. Wonders if Jimin could feel it too. She hopes to god Jimin doesn’t.
“I was just looking for you.” Minjeong steps back a little to give them space because if she didn’t, she might’ve done something stupid like kiss Jimin in front of the whole crowd.
“You found me.” Jimin was smiling at her, gaze so soft as she pulled out something in her back pockets. She brandishes it in front of Minjeong, a rectangular shaped box that’s covered in a Christmas themed wrapper. Minjeong can’t help but roll her eyes fondly at the sight because that's such a Jimin thing to do. “I got you something.”
“You didn’t have to.” But she did snatch it out of Jimin’s grip, her heartbeat had slowed to a lull against her chest, “Should I open it now?”
“Not here. Maybe later.” Jimin’s playful smile suddenly turned nervous as her eyes momentarily glanced around the crowd.
“What’s wrong?”
Jimin’s grin was sheepish when she speaks, “I’m gonna need you to promise me that you’ll be there for me no matter what.”
Minjeong furrowed her brows, tilting her head to the side as she says, “Okay? What’s going on?”
“I’m serious. I might do something stupid.” Jimin starts fidgeting with her fingers as she rubs her lips together absently, a nervous tick that Minjeong honestly thinks should be illegal.
Minjeong reaches for Jimin’s hands, covering it with her own as she gave it a comforting squeeze, “Jimin, you’re literally my bestfriend. I won’t ever leave you, okay?”
Also, because I might possibly be a little in love with you. But Minjeong doesn’t say any of that. Keeps it to herself.
“Okay.” Jimin nods, then she straightens up herself, like a soldier on a mission.
Minjeong was jolted out of the conversation when everyone started counting around them.
10
9
8
7….
Jimin gives her one last smile before letting her hand drop, “Well, here goes nothing.”
6
5
4…
Minjeong watches as Jimin crossed the room, effectively dodging the crowd as she pulls up in front of a girl she vaguely recognizes as Aeri, their mutual friend from Jimin's work.
3
2
….
The clock strikes 12.
Jimin pulls Aeri into a kiss in the middle of the crowd. Everyone starts cheering while everything stops for Minjeong. Their wishes of happy new years and happy birthdays was drowned out by the sound of her own damn heart breaking.
Minjeong just turned 25 when the realization dawned on her that Jimin would never feel the same way.
+1
Minjeong’s 30, and Jimin’s 31 when she broke out the news to her.
“Please sit down, Jimin. You’re making me dizzy.” Minjeong brought her fingers against her temple as she feels the oncoming headache pressing behind her eyelids.
Jimin stops, gives her an apologetic smile before plopping down beside her on the couch. “Sorry. I’m just really nervous.”
Minjeong’s stance melts into a soft sigh, “You're fine. What's wrong?”
“I’m just—I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Hey. You don’t have to worry, I'll help you hide the body and the murder weapon." Minjeong teases, trying to lighten the mood.
It works. Jimin's tense shoulders slumps as she barks out a laugh, throwing her head back. "You can't lift shit. You're so tiny."
"Hey, watch it now." Minjeong clicks her tongue playfully, "Can you tell me what's happening, though? The suspense is kinda killing me."
Jimin throws her a lopsided smile as she pulls out a velvety box from her pockets. Minjeong’s eyes immediately flit towards the wedding ring she knows from Jimin’s mother.
Minjeong breathes out a shaky sigh before averting her gaze. Jimin reaches out to clasp her hand, automatically intertwining them, like all those years ago whenever she needs someone to ground her. Minjeong can’t help but answer it with a comforting squeeze as she hears Jimin say, “You think she’ll say yes?”
Minjeong could do nothing but nod, slips on the perfectly crafted mask of a smile and says, “Aeri loves you more than anything in this world.”
Jimin’s phone buzzes, startling both of them. Jimin’s fingers are still cradling hers loosely when she answers the phone. She vaguely hears Yizhuo’s static voice at the other end of the line, and Minjeong watches with keen eyes as Jimin’s lips bloom into a beautiful smile.
“Aeri’s already here.” Jimin tells her, the glow in her eyes was palpable. She looked so happy. And it’s terribly strange, how something so beautiful brought forth an insurmountable ache inside her chest.
This is it.
She gently untangled her hold on Jimin, and then all at once;
Minjeong lets go.