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Some time passed, Changbin more doubted his memory about Felix. That man is the epitome of love that can come from someone he least expected. And yet, as he comes to Changbin life without warning, Felix goes without saying anything too.
"I think you should stop looking at him." Wooyoung know when said this countless times, Changbin wouldn't listen. But seeing his friend turn it look-alike a zombie didn't make Wooyoung happy. "I know this is easier to say rather than do it, but you better let him go, Changbin. It is already two years, and you can't find him."
"Then, why do you continue to believe if San loved you back when he already married someone else?"
Wooyoung wants to say something, but he can't because Changbin is right. When someone is in love, they tend to use their heart and not their head. Asking Changbin to stop finding Felix is like asking Wooyoung to stop loving San.
Impossible to do that.
Changbin walks to the park he used to go to with Felix when they were still together. When thinking the word ' together ' make Changbin feels heavy in his chest. Because Changbin used to ask Felix almost every day when he is was out of his apartment. And yet, when that day happens, Changbin is the one hurting the most.
This time is the second fall season without Felix. For Changbin, all the seasons are the same. But Felix liked the fall most when Changbin always associated him with summer because of his persona. He is bright like the sun in summer and pretty like the sunflower.
But Felix is fit for to fall season too. When Felix laughs to see the leaf at the tree turn yellowish red and excited when picking up fallen leaf at the ground. Changbin doesn't understand why he is almost every day searching the leaves for bookmarks. His apartment barely has books because Changbin does not like reading, but since he knows Felix, he piles books in a place he never imagines changing it as a mini-library.
And the geeky one never backs to him to read all of that. Nor using all of his leaves bookmark he is making it.
"Felix." Changbin realizes he stops in front of a tree at Felix liked to find leaves for his bookmarks. "Where are you? Why can't I even find you to say sorry and ask you to stay with me?"
Changbin let out a heavy sigh and closed his eyes. He knows this is so desperate and crazy, but Changbin wishes Felix to fall from the sky. He hears something falling, and Changbin laughs in irony because it must be....
"Oh, shit ... what the fuck I fell from a tree?!" That voice ... Changbin immediately open his eyelid and sees Felix look mad. Changbin cannot believe what he sees now and look like Felix doesn't realize his presence there. "Tsk, what the right coordinate I should put in this watch?"
"Felix?"
Changbin doubts the person in front of him is Felix. He's searching for that man all this time and come nothing. And yet, when their gaze meets, and the man looks like Felix look frozen for a moment, Changbin knows it is Felix. Not only because he has the same feature as Changbin remember, but the necklace Felix wear. His gift when knowing that day is Felix birthday. And suddenly, his phone rang a notification to tell Changbin the person his looking at the same place.
Because the necklace is Changbin gave has GPS.
But Changbin never imagines if the man is looking at all this time, choose running when they meet again. Of course, Changbin chasing Felix because he doesn't plan to lose him for a second time.
"Felix, stop running from me!"
"Stop chasing me!" Felix shouted and not even once looked back. "You said I should leave you as soon as possible."
Felix is not wrong when said that because it's a fact. But what Felix doesn't know is Changbin is almost insane searching for him. Maybe one thing Changbin is glad to accept from himself is he good at running. He doesn't need a long time to shorten their distance and eventually catch one of Felix's hands. Force him to stop running and pull him to turn around for facing Changbin.
Their catch breath and look at each other. Changbin knows his heartbeat going wild, and it's not only because he is running catching Felix. The wrist Changbin holds is definite, the freckles he always thought like sprinkles stars because the universe can't holder it at the sky, so decided to give it to Felix, and how that eyes gaze at Changbin.
He never thought to miss it, and yet, this feels right for Changbin.
"Would you let me go?" Felix asks nicely, but it's sound a plea to Changbin. "I don't want to disturb your life again."
"Who said you disturb me?" Changbin knows people are constantly changing, but he never expects that from someone who stubbornly stays with him before gone two years ago. "And no, I don't have the intention to let you go again, Felix."
"But I...."
Changbin cut Felix sentence and looked at him. "Do you think I will let you go when past seven hundred and twenty-one days I spend for searching you?"
Felix looks shocked when hearing Changbin says, and make him only sigh.
How could this man think he could forget him that easily?
"I know you thought I hate you because most of the time, I mean to you." Changbin waits for Felix to respond to him, but what he sees is only a confused face. At least, Changbin knows Felix doesn't mad at him, and that's enough. "But I don't hate you. I annoy you with that question for hoping to answer you wouldn't go." It's hard not to smile when seeing Felix's eyes got widen when hearing what he says. But Changbin should hold it a little longer. "I'm sorry for making you think I hate you and hurting your feeling."
Felix is not say anything, and it makes Changbin nervous. But Changbin can see Felix expression look a relief, and even he knows not to put any expectation, he can't do that.
"Do you not hate me?" Felix sounds unsure when asking that.
Who can blame him when Changbin action in the past?
"I won't be searching you and make sure all your traces still exist at the apartment."
"Why?" Felix looks puzzled. Then, suddenly he is nodding, and Changbin thinks his heart stop beating for a second. Did Felix already know how Changbin's feeling to... "Oh, right. I don't pay the money I loan from you, and that's the reason for you searching me."
"What?"
"I still don't have cash, you know. But I think I have something for paying that." Felix gropes his own pocket for searching for something. "Hmm? Where did I put that gold pin? I am sure I bring that with me."
Changbin let his sigh and squeezed Felix hand a little for getting his attention. Felix looks at Changbin with confusion and then look shocked when he is pulling toward him.
"I search you not for the money I even don't even remember how much the values." Changbin gazes at Felix's eyes. "I looking for you all this time because I like you. No, I mean I love you, and I am going crazy because you suddenly went away without saying anything." Felix gaze looks shaking when hearing Changbin says. "You came to me without warning, went away without saying goodbye and now suddenly come again when I fucking sure searching you without miss everything clues I have."
Felix wanted to say something, but he does not think to could do proper string any words right now. Because he thinks Changbin will be happy when he is gone and move on to another universe. Trying to find another Changbin, the person he wanted from the beginning.
And yet, Felix still thinking this version of Changbin. The version that once Felix thinks of as deviation from Changbin of his lover at the original universe. They have different manners, and what makes them is the same in Felix memory is two things.
Their face and how their ability to make Felix fall.
"Felix Yongbok Lee ... say something, please." Changbin never imagines this day will happen to him, a plea to someone. "I can accept you reject me, as long as you still stay, and I can see you any time."
"Is this real?" Felix blinked too much, confused. "Am I stuck in blank space and make me hallucinate?"
Changbin doesn't understand what Felix says, but he knows for sure one thing. He hates being doubted by someone, and Changbin pulls Felix closer to him. Changbin only thinks this way to prove how serious he is feeling to Felix.
Felix freeze when his lips are meet Changbin. But it was only a few seconds before Felix closed his eyes and let Changbin do the rest. It will be irony if Felix compares how Changbin in this universe to Changbin in his universe kissed. Felix really wants to say sorry to Changbin from his universe—which is already under six feet and make him start this mess to intervene in another universe—because Felix prefers this version of Changbin kissing him.
The only reason they ended up in this kissed session is that they needed oxygen to breathe. There know to not only try to catch a breath but catch there are own feelings too.