Work Text:
It had been around 6 months since his life had turned upside down and Jiang tian had left. it really came out of nowhere. the break up. the pain. the feeling of loss. He didn't have enough time to even react to it back then. but now that things had finally settled down, everything started seeping into him.
Sheng Wang thought he had been coping well these few months. but today he missed his ge a little too much. Maybe it was the end of the college entrance exams that left him unable to drown himself in work and prevent himself from thinking about anything. or maybe it was the fact that he was all alone sitting in his house, having no one beside him to celebrate the end of his highschool life.
He stood outside the door that hadn't been opened even once for six months. not even for cleaning. both his father and him had tactically decided on it. of course for different reasons though.
He just stared at it for 30 seconds and sighed. He still didn't have the courage to enter it. He turned and moved into his own room and picked up a familiar photo album from the deepest drawer.
Turning it slowly, he admired each and every picture, caressing it again and again.
Then he finally came to the last page, he suddenly froze.
It wasn't here. The only picture of him and Jiang tian together wasn't here. He frantically turned the pages again, hoping he had just misplaced it in there.
The last time he had opened this album was before Jiang tian had left, and the picture was still there then.
He shot up, rummaging through each and everything in his room that he could find. but with no avail.
Finally realizing that the picture really wasn't here, his heart sank and he just blankly stood in the middle of his upturned room, looking quite pitiful.
Had….his father found it??? and thrown it away??? or worse burnt it maybe.
He couldn't help it, his knees buckled and he ended up on the ground.
Then came the waterworks. He hadn't cried much throughout these 6 months. But now merely the loss of a picture made him realize that someone he so immensely loved was slowly getting erased out of his life.
Curled up on the ground, he clutched the treasured album and wailed. loudly. breathlessly. painfully. and unknowingly sank into a restless sleep, full of dreams of then happy but now agonizing time he spent with his ge.
Shen mingyang entered the house happily. He had specially come early today. to surprise his son. He called out to him but didn't receive an answer. nothing he wasn't used to. He didn't think much. After all this was just another phase his son was going through. He knocked on the door, but again with no response. Now this was weird. Although Sheng wang didn't give him alot of his time anymore, he wouldn't ignore him like this. feeling worried, he opened the room door.
Going in, he first thought a robber had broken in until he saw Sheng wang lying there. He walked towards him to wake him up but stopped after he saw what was in his hands.
A photo album. He didn't have to think much to confer who it was related to. His first thought after seeing it was to take it and throw it away. but after seeing sheng Wang's tear streaked face and how tightly the album was clutched, he softened up.
It's just a phase. He told himself again.
"Sheng wang how much is left?!" a voice sounded from the living room.
"Just a few little things!" Sheng wang called back.
Although this work was tiring, there was still a smile on Sheng wang's face. Him and jiang tian were finally moving into a bigger, better house together.
He picked up the books, slowly setting them into the cardboard box when he noticed a leather-cased diary. Just as he grabbed it, a small piece of something like paper fell down. He bent down to pick it up but stalled midway.
This….wasn't this the picture he thought he had lost???
He was unable to react for a moment. He didn't know whether he should feel angry about all those tears he shed for nothing or happy because Jiang tian had taken it and kept it all these years.
"Ge!!"
Jiang tian saw Sheng wang coming out of the room with his hands behind him as if he was hiding something. Looking at the mirth in his eyes, Jiang tian knew he was up to no good.
"What" he narrowed his eyes and snaked an arm around Sheng wang's waist.
"Ge, don't you think you're a little too selfish? You took our son away by yourself when you left and now even this picture. You didn't leave anything for me." Sheng wang said with fake grievance in his voice.
Jiang tians narrowed eyes widened as he froze at suddenly being exposed. He involuntarily tightened his hold on Sheng wang's waist when he recalled the time when he had stolen the picture.
As he packed his bag, Jiang tian thought it was quite weird. He had done this same thing countless times. He was used to this. Moving away. Letting go. But never had it pained as much as it did this time.
It isn't weird. he told himself. You got attached.
But how could he not? How could he not love that radiant smile full of playfulness and bliss. or that smart little brain full of ideas. or that involuntary pout when things didn't go his way. or the way he tried to hide his embarrassment by rambling on and on.
Before Jiang tian could realize, all his sharp edges had been eroded by that gentle boy.
So how could he not love someone who loved him back boundlessly.
Thus, the just 18 turned Jiang tian realized how bitter and scary the feeling of being loved was. You could live just well before experiencing it. But once you get a taste, it is excruciatingly painful to let go.
If he had to put it in words, it felt like a hand was slowly squeezing and tearing apart his heart. Like there was an unlimited amount of cotton wedged in his chest, that wouldn't go away no matter what he did.
He really wanted to scream, cry and throw tantrums. But he knew it was useless. He knew he had to let go. So he took in a deep breath as he looked around the room one last time.
He trudged out to the adjacent room. Not even blinking once. Afraid that he won't be able to engrave all those memories in his head if he did.
Inside in the room, lying on the desk there was the photo album he knew too well of.
Jiang tian was never the one to act on impulse. But had already done it once, and that day he did it again. He pulled out the last picture in it. Turning it around, he saw the words written on the back
Me and the you I like.
He caressed the silhouette in the picture, failing to restrain all the tears flowing out of his eyes.
His eyesight finally blurred as he promised to himself and to the boy he loved that he would become stronger. And more courageous. Enough to never have to let go again. He promised he would love the other his whole life even if he wouldn't be wanted again after all those years.
Silently wiping his tears, he carefully put the picture in his bag and left.
"Ge?! Jiang tian!"
Sheng wang's voice pulled him out of his dazed state.
That's right. he thought. It didn't matter anymore, did it. He was once again together with the one he loved. And as he had promised he was never going to let go again.
He lifted his hand to cup sheng wangs face.
"Is it wrong?" he asked
Sheng wang looked at him, puzzled yet involuntarily leaning into the touch.
"Is it wrong for me to be selfish when it comes to you?" he repeated.
Sheng wang abruptly looked up, a suspicious red crawling from his ears to neck to his face.
Tsk he thought. His ge really knew how to talk. Who knew where he learnt it from. But it's not like he didn't like it. In fact he loved it too much. It made him feel like the 17 year old Sheng wang who had just fallen in love. Who would have an explosion of butterflies everytime Jiang tian even looked into his eyes for a little too long.
But, of course he wouldn't tell all of this to him so he chose to mutter, "So shameless".
Looking at Sheng wang acting like a panicked cat while wriggling to get out of his hold, Jiang tian really couldn't hold it anymore. He burst into a fit of laughter and buried is face into the crook of Sheng wang's neck.
Sheng wang finally stopped struggling and hugged him back, also chuckling. Both their smiles as wide as they could be and eyes crinkling, full of love and happiness.
I really want to stay like this forever. they thought simultaneously.
Maybe their wish was finally heard, because they really did in fact stay like this for the rest of their lives. Together and happy.