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Tsukishima thought Suga was being ordinarily kind when they first met. Everyone in every club and sports team was nice to potential members, so it wasn't a surprise to see Suga smiling at everyone and patting them on the back. Daichi had an exception, with Kageyama and Hinata's arguing getting themselves temporarily kicked out.
Suga never stopped being friendly. There were times when Suga was quiet, but if one of them was nearby, Suga tried to include them in a conversation. Tsukishima didn't expect Suga to ask him how his day was at the beginning of practices, but Suga kept doing it, touching him on the arm to catch his attention. Tsukishima fell silent every time, staring at Suga tap his arm and tilt his head to ask how he was doing.
It was jarring switching Suga with Kageyama during practice. Kageyama closed himself off and tossed the way he liked to, and it made Tsukishima want to use less effort out of spite. Hinata bothered him, too, but he wasn't forced to communicate with Hinata as often as he had to with Kageyama. Hinata brushed him off more easily, and Hinata could bounce onto someone else for a conversation instead of him.
Suga called him over once in the middle of practice, after Tsukishima made a poor spike off of Kageyama's toss. The uneasy quirk in Suga's mouth told him that Suga noticed. "Tsukishima, can you try harder to cooperate with Kageyama? Don't agitate him."
Tsukishima nodded. He was used to giving sarcastic replies and quips, but his mouth went dry when he thought about doing that with Suga. He couldn't come up with something normal to say, something that wouldn't make Suga think he was immature. Suga ended up taking his silence as a yes, and he smiled gently and turned to someone else.
Tsukishima tried talking with Kageyama. Doing what Suga asked was a better gesture than just saying something to Suga, anyway, even if he harassed Kageyama in the process. As long as Suga saw them talking and didn't hear, then it didn't matter.
"Tsukki, why do you look at Suga so much?" Yamaguchi asked him in a whisper. He didn't know why Yamaguchi felt the need to whisper.
He didn't realize that he looked at Suga often, either. He checked if Suga was around before antagonizing Kageyama, and he glanced at Suga during practice since he was one of their setters, but nothing else.
Tsukishima leaned closer to speak. "I don't."
Yamaguchi puffed his cheeks and gave a snort. "You stopped talking to me yesterday when Suga walked by."
Yamaguchi made that face when he wanted to reject whatever Tsukishima was telling him. Sometimes he added a no, Tsukki.
"I don't remember that."
Except he did, now that Yamaguchi brought it up. He remembered getting distracted and lost in what he was trying to say.
He tried appearing as disinterested as possible the next time he talked with Suga, tried to fix a dull look on Hinata as he passed them, but that just made him notice Suga's voice. He didn't want to hang on to the words, and he ended up concentrating on the pure sound of his voice, distilling the soft dips in tone from what he was actually saying.
"Tsukishima? Are you listening?"
Tsukishima flicked his eyes back to Suga and coughed. "I'm listening."
Suga quirked his mouth. The curve of his lips was too playful for him to be taking Tsukishima seriously, but Suga didn't make fun of him. He patted Tsukishima's shoulder and shook his head before turning away to speak with Daichi. Suga ended every conversation effortlessly, and even if Tsukishima felt bitter hearing the note of finality in Suga's voice, his bitterness bit him back as he watched Suga move, talk, and tie the ends of every last sentence with someone to see someone else.
Tsukishima felt really bitter skidding through thoughts and trying not to look at Suga. Yamaguchi snorted and trailed off in low bubbles of laughter while standing next to him, and Tsukishima didn't want to hear him say it.
"I told you so, Tsukki."
Tsukishima cleared his throat more often to get Suga's attention. He wasn't trying to get Suga to talk with him, he just wanted Suga to turn and glance at him, remember him more than the other first years. Suga flashed brief smiles when he noticed, but Tsukishima started to feel childish from avoiding what he should actually be doing. He fell into silences more with Suga than anyone else, and instead of telling Suga something, he stepped back and watched Suga run, set, tie his shoes, and mop the floor.
When Suga stood in front of him, talked with him, and slipped a hand on Tsukishima's shoulder, Tsukishima kept fixating on the small gestures instead of figuring out what to say. He saw the shift in Suga's hips as he leaned his weight to one foot, felt Suga tap a thumb on his arm, and saw the crinkle of his eyes before he laughed.
Not telling Suga the truth was when pathetic crossed his mind. He wasn't being self-deprecating, he was just cringing in his own embarrassment. Hinata noticed him around Suga, and he called Tsukishima shy while laughing hard. Tsukishima tried to walk out of that one, but Yamaguchi and Hinata elbowed him, slapped his back, and laughed together when he told them he was going to end it.
He waited a few days after he said that. Yamaguchi and Hinata had a sudden interest in following him and watching, but he knew they'd get bored of stalking his progress. He didn't approach Suga until he knew they were gone, and when that moment arrived, he thought about changing his mind and just admitting that he was a coward.
"Is something wrong? You've been quiet for a while."
Suga drummed a finger against his mouth as he waited, and Tsukishima swallowed past the dryness of his throat instead of watching or coughing. He didn't have any sarcastic remarks to pad the conversation, but he never had them anyway with Suga. His mouth opened and closed, and he tied a string of words together successfully, Suga's name slipping out in the middle of it.
Suga smiled warmly and turned his full attention to Tsukishima.
"Why didn't you say something sooner?" Suga asked.
"...I don't know."
Suga laughed, bending at the waist a little to do it. He placed a hand on Tsukishima's arm, and even after he stopped, he didn't move away. He rubbed his hand over Tsukishima's elbow, told him good job at practice today, and kept walking with him. Tsukishima bit his lip and then frowned as he thought of what else to tell Suga, what else, and he bristled as he realized he was just as flustered as before.
Suga mimicked his frown. There was a pout in it, too, enough to let him know that Suga was teasing, but then Suga leaned closer. He balanced himself holding onto Tsukishima's arm, and he pressed his lips to the edge of Tsukishima's mouth. It felt like a light flutter, if his lips were wings, brushing his skin and making a kissing sound that left Tsukishima flushing.
Suga backed away to eye him. "No more frowning."
Tsukishima's mouth twitched, but not enough to make him stop frowning. He fought to keep it, and that was all he needed to tell Suga to kiss him again.