Work Text:
Jiang Cheng had awakened before the rays of the morning sun had truly broken through the dawning day. He quickly got up and had his morning meal and tea. After feeding his dogs and giving them an abundance of hugs and belly rubs, he changed into a disciple outfit that he had taken to wear as of late. He pulled up his hair into the usual bun as he was getting ready to do the one chore that he knew would get him through the day after a restless night.
The creaking thuds of his steps could be heard echoing as Jiang Cheng walked on the wooden platforms to the nearby pond. At the edge of the water, he briskly rolled up the legs of his pants before slowly walking across the water to the patch of floating lotus leaves and flowers.
To the tunes that the birds sang to the rising sun, Jiang Cheng began to methodically prune the dead stems and yellowing leaves of the floating garden. The gentle hues of the bulbous petals brought a small comfort to his troubled mind. Until a meaningless cut on his finger from a nearby thorn suddenly forced his body into a halt.
Jiang Cheng stared upon the rippling surface of the water, and he slowly dropped his arms to his sides. The small knife that was in his hand fell into the water thoughtlessly, as Jiang Cheng found himself not being able to stop his thoughts from taking ahold of him.
His mind turned back to those early years in his life, those gentle times under the Yunmeng sky with A-Die and A-Niang and A-Jie, with his beloved three dogs whose final fate he would always wonder about..
Then that consuming fire, those senseless deaths, his A-Ling, his rebirth, the revelation.. the core..
In the end, who was he really in this life?
Jiang Cheng knew that most people thought of him as a monster and also somewhat of a walking paradox.
A powerful leader that was second best.
An heir that was an unwanted child.
A loving sibling with hateful jealousy.
Jiang Cheng had never truly cared before about the opinions of others, but sometimes.. sometimes he wondered, if his own self-hatred and insecurity had simply been born from his unconscious acceptance of others' perceptions of him.
How could he not have believed those poisonous whispers, when it was as if the heavens themselves had delivered their divine punishment by taking away from him the things he loved and held dear to his heart?
And.. to be told that the things that were within his grasp were never supposed to be his in the first place? Could never have been his if it were not for his shixiong's "gift"?
Jiang Cheng could feel himself collapsing into nothingness, that scarred hollow in his chest rattling in its emptiness. He wanted to pull himself out of that void of misery that he could feel himself slowly sinking into. But perhaps down there, the stillness of it all..
A wisp of a flutter gently brushed against his hand. Jiang Cheng looked down, and saw a golden dragonfly resting upon his finger. That place where Zidian had once been, before he had felt too tainted to even wear the last gift from his A-Niang.
Jiang Cheng slowly brought the dragonfly close to his face, and the dragonfly merely continued to rest on his finger, with its many-seeing eyes facing him as if in curiosity. The dragonfly gently fluttered its wings which were as clear as a morning dew. Jiang Cheng gently stroked those beautiful fragile wings with his finger, and he smiled as the dragonfly looked on quietly at him.
A gust of wind curled the surface of the water, seemingly awakening the dragonfly from its quiet pondering. It beat its wings and flew away from Jiang Cheng towards the rising sun, and Jiang Cheng had to shield his eyes with his hand so that he could see the last glimpse of those beautiful wings.
But as the dragonfly disappeared into the sun..
"Wanyiiiin~"
"Wanyin!!"
Jiang Cheng was stunned when he saw Zewu-jun, Lan Xichen, the esteemed sect leader of Gusu Lan, at the edge of the pond, shouting his name and frantically waving at him.
"Hu.. Huan-ge! What are you doing here!?"
"Wanyiin, just stay there, I will come to you!"
"N-no! Damnit, Huan-ge, you will get all wet! Just.. just stay there! Lan Xichen!!"
Before Jiang Cheng could even finish his words, Lan Xichen was already knee-deep inside the water, eyes focusing on its surface as he pushed against the gentle current. His white robe billowing behind him as he waded through the water.
As Lan Xichen was making his way to him, Jiang Cheng's mind desperately oscillated between whether he had remembered it correctly that Lan Xichen knew how to swim (of course he did since he was the one that had taught Zewu-jun how to properly float), or if there was a grave emergency that had forced Zewu-jun to come to Yunmeng, jump into the pond, and wade through the water to share the news with him (but a butterfly would have made more sense).
Lan Xichen was now slowly approaching him as he tried to navigate his way through the water with its thick sediments and immense lotus leaves. Or rather.. Lan Xichen and his terribly-soaked robe, and Jiang Cheng suddenly felt heat on his face that surely must have been because he had been out in the morning sun for far too long.
Jiang Cheng's thoughts inadvertently drifted back to that moment when he made the decision to enter seclusion. His head disciple and now acting sect leader, Jiang Zihua, had made the official announcement that Yunmeng Jiang had denounced Hanguang-jun and Wei Wuxian for their desecration of Yunmeng Jiang and their Jiang-zongzhu.
All of their allies, even the minor ones, had sent Jiang Cheng letters of sympathy and vows of support, including a personal note from Lan Qiren, but none from Lan Xichen..
Jiang Cheng had felt confused with the following months of absolute silence from Lan Xichen, whom he had thought of as a close friend and confidant, and perhaps something more..? He had drawn comfort before from Lan Xichen's kindness. His guiding words and gentle eyes and soothing presence had given him that calming peace that he had always searched for.
And then there was that one summer morning when Lan Xichen had out of the blue come to Yunmeng for a visit. The two of them had somehow decided to start the day by giving Jiang Cheng's extremely muddy dogs their much-needed baths. Lan Xichen had been laughing exuberantly then, and sheens of sweat and suds were upon his skin under the hot summer sun. Jiang Cheng felt a fuzziness to his senses and before he could stop himself, he had clumsily pressed his lips on Lan Xichen's. Not a word was said after by Lan Xichen about that momentary kiss, but Lan Xichen had looked dazed then, with a strange smile on his face that Jiang Cheng would often think about.
But then with the events at the temple, and with what happened that night at the ancestral hall with his brother and his brother.. Perhaps, upon hearing the truth about his core, Lan Xichen had truly believed that Jiang Cheng was as repulsive as everyone else had proclaimed him to be..
Lan Xichen finally took his last wading step and stood in front of him, and Jiang Cheng had to blink his eyes a few times as he was suddenly blinded by that luminous smile of Lan Xichen's that was more dazzling than the radiant sun. Before a word could be uttered between them, Jiang Cheng was pulled into those powerful arms and embraced tightly, the back of his head being cradled gently by Lan Xichen's hand.
Jiang Cheng inhaled sharply and shuddered. This can't be real.. Perhaps a desperate dream of his, born out of an unspoken wish that he had always prayed for within his heart. He tried to wrench himself away from those arms, but Lan Xichen held him even closer, ever more tightly so, and Jiang Cheng could not tell if the trembling he had felt then had been his own or Lan Xichen's.
After a few heartbeats, Lan Xichen lowered his arms and cupped Jiang Cheng's face with those warm, warm hands. He then closed his eyes and put his forehead against Jiang Cheng's, and exhaled..
"Wanyin.."
The urge within Jiang Cheng's brittle heart to pull himself back to the assured yet lonely reality was strong, but as always whenever the First Jade of Lan was nearby, Jiang Cheng would inexplicably feel drawn to him. Feeling the warmth returning to his face, Jiang Cheng could only collapse into Lan Xichen's arms.
"Huan-ge.. I missed you," a muffled sound could barely be heard from the shoulder of the Lan's robe.
Lan Xichen tilted his head to rest on Jiang Cheng's, and hummed. The vibration of his voice went through Jiang Cheng like a warm current in an icy winter, "I missed you too, Wanyin, so much.."
Jiang Cheng lifted his head to look up at Lan Xichen's eyes when he thought there was a tremulous note behind Lan Xichen's voice. Lan Xichen seemingly saw the questioning look in Jiang Cheng's eyes, and swept aside those tendrils of hair that had come loose from his bun.
"Wanyin, I am here because.. I have stepped down from my role as sect leader of the Gusu Lan. And I told my elders that I would be leaving the sect and Cloud Recesses to stay here with you." A faint blush adorned Lan Xichen's beautiful cheeks, "That is, if you will have me.. here..Wanyin.."
Jiang Cheng was bewildered. Impossible for Lan Xichen to have said what he hoped it had meant. A sudden thought made him scowl and Jiang Cheng could not help with the sharp tone arising in his voice, "Huan-ge, if this is some misplaced guilt because of what your brother had done that night, then I don't want anything to do with it."
"No. Wanyin, it is not and it will never be about guilt, or pity. I will never do that to you. Ah.. I just want to be here, or wherever you are, my heart." Jiang Cheng could feel his face burning from being called so affectionately by Lan Xichen.
"But what about your uncle, and.. and the Lan elders! They agreed to you leaving the sect? They didn't.." Jiang Cheng frowned as a memory unexpectedly surfaced in his mind, of Lan Xichen telling him about the scars on his brother's back, brought upon by a punishment that was given for having wounded thirty-three of the Lan elders.
Jiang Cheng could feel hot tears stinging his eyes as he came into the horrifying realization. His hands shook as his fingers tightened on the lapels of Lan Xichen's robe.
"Huan-ge, you-! Don't tell me that.. that they gave that punishment to you. They wouldn't dare!"
As Jiang Cheng's tears fell in rivulets on his face, Lan Xichen haltingly dried them with the back of his hands with a sorrowful look in his eyes. "I never wanted to make you cry like this, Wanyin," he sighed. "It was the only way.. I wanted to be here with you sooner, but.. they took longer to heal than expected, even with Shufu's help."
"How many, Huan-ge..?"
"Forty-five.. One lashing for every year of my life that the elders claimed to have been wasted with me being Lan-zongzhu," Lan Xichen whispered with a slight quiver in his voice.
Jiang Cheng tried to muffle the sobs that were bursting out of him with his hand. He really was the monster everyone thought him to be, having caused the First Jade of Lan to receive such a severe punishment with a disciple whip.
"You are not a monster, Wanyin, never to me!" Lan Xichen said harshly. Jiang Cheng looked up in surprise as he had not realized he had spoken those self-deprecating thoughts out loud. He saw Lan Xichen untying his forehead ribbon and reaching out to pull away the tear-moistened hand from Jiang Cheng's lips. The ribbon was then looped around that wrist that was now trembling within Lan Xichen's grasp.
"Huan-ge.." Jiang Cheng blushed fiercely as he became overwhelmed by the affection that could be felt radiating from Lan Xichen for him. "I don't understand why.. me. And now that you know the truth about.. everything.. how could you still.."
Lan Xichen brought that trembling wrist to his lips, and kissed that soft patch of skin just below the ribbon, "I may no longer be a Lan, but this ribbon that I'd worn was from my mother. It was her dying wish for me and Wangji to be free to choose whom we love, how to love and be loved. I didn't.. quite understand what she'd meant then."
Lan Xichen smiled adoringly at him, "I love you, Wanyin. You are the love of my life, and I want to be with you always. My heart, how could I not love you and admire you. Don't you know, what you have achieved in this life, it will become the envy of immortals for ages to come."
"You have rebuilt Yunmeng Jiang from its very ashes. You have been an anchor to your people, and you have sacrificed so much to protect and care for them. I know that your disciples and even the commoners at Lotus Pier have all said that they are willing to die for their Jiang-zongzhu, such is their devotion to you, Wanyin."
"That can't be," Jiang Cheng whispered as he could feel a telling blush warming his cheeks.
"It is what it is, my heart. And that love that you have for A-Ling, how you raised him all by yourself. You were both a father and a mother to him. And as his mentor you guided and prepared him for his ascension. A-Ling is now on his way to become this strong and powerful leader because of you, and I know Jingyi can learn much from him."
Jiang Cheng's eyes widened, "He is the chosen sect heir to Gusu Lan?" Lan Xichen nodded, "Mn. Shufu and I have both talked to him and he has agreed to it. It is time for Gusu Lan to move on to its next chapter, for the new generation."
Jiang Cheng found himself at a loss for words. But the one thing he wanted to ask, he could barely utter the words in fear of himself having misunderstood Lan Xichen's intention, "Are you really here to stay, Huan-ge..?"
"My heart, you have always loved and loved without expecting anything in return, as you've only thought about the happiness of others but never for yourself."
With an arm around Jiang Cheng's waist, Lan Xichen brought the tips of his fingers to trace the brows and the cheeks and the lips on Jiang Cheng's blushing face, "The memory from that day.. of your kiss. It gave me light and hope when I was healing, the thought that I would soon have you in my arms. Let me be by your side. Wanyin.."
"Ah.."
The heart in Jiang Cheng had yearned, and now it trembled in its billowing surge of want as his lips were devoured by Lan Xichen. There was a desperation behind those crushing lips, and Jiang Cheng felt swayed by it and had to cling to those wide shoulders to center himself. He had not realized a tear was rolling down his face until Lan Xichen abruptly pulled back and looked at him in concern.
"Wanyin..?"
Jiang Cheng gasped softly, "Huan-ge, I love you too.."
Lan Xichen's smile was once more one that was more dazzling than the glorious sun.
"Mn, and Wanyin.. Happy Birthday, my heart.."
The rays of the morning sun bathed Yunmeng with the blessed light, and the barking of the much-loved dogs of Jiang Cheng's could be heard from the distance as the two beings that have been through so much in life walked back together to the Jiang residence, with joy and laughter in tow.
For this love, may it bring them the peace and happiness that had long been denied from them.