Work Text:
He's still on his desk. Even though it's almost midnight, and everyone on this building has already home. Classic him. He's scribbling some notes on the papers that scattered all over his desk. Even though he's provided with a computer, he rarely use it unless it's really important. He always stick to his habits. And that's why it's easy for me to guess where to find him.
"Hey," I said when approaching him slowly.
"Hi," he drops his pen as he shot his head up to see me. "Wait I thought you were home already?"
"Yeah, I was," I stop and stand in front of his desk.
"Then.. what are you doing here?" he carefully observes me. His eyebrows furrow, and I can feel my heart beats a little bit faster.
"To give you this" I drop a paperbag containing a box inside it on his desk, he immediately lean his body to look at the paperbag.
"What is that?" He looks nervous when he touches the paperbag. But then he takes it anyway. I giggle at his respond.
"Oh come on. Do you really think I'm capable of giving you something awful?"
"Well, you do like to make fun of me sometimes, so of course you are capable of giving me something awful just to see me miserable" he stops examining the paperbag and stares at me.
"Ouch. I'm not that evil. And I only make fun of you because I love you, Spencer" I laugh and hit his shoulder playfully to try to make it sounds like a joke.
The truth is, I really do. And not the kind of love to your friend, like I always said to everyone all this time.
He doesn't respond to what I said. Instead, he pulls out the box that has been inside the paperbag.
"What is this?" He looks at me.
I roll my eyes, "Can't you just open it and figure it out by yourself? Come on, I promise that one is not a joke"
He pouts at my reply but proceed to open the box anyway. He seems stunned by when he finally figure out what's inside the box. There are 6 cupcakes with a note at the top of the box, saying 'Happy Birthday, Dr. Spencer Reid'.
"Happy birthday, Spencer. I know you think I don't care, but I do" I try to keep my voice as steady as possible. "I hope you like.." I couldn't finish my sentence because he gives me a tight hug.
"Thank you so much" is all he said. I hug him back and bury my face on his shoulder. I can feel him shuddering and start to sniffle.
"Heeey. Please don't cry. You're supposed to be happy. It's your day!" I let go of his hug and wipe the tears on his face. He holds my hand and smiles.
"No. You don't know how much that means to me. No one's ever really.. I never.." he looks down, unable to finish his sentence.
"Is that why you stay here until this late?" I hold his chin up so he can look at me.
He nods. "I just don't want to be alone on my apartment and realizing how lonely I am"
"You could've called me, you know" I try to lighten up his mood, while actually my heart hurts to see him this sad. And thinking about how lonely he feels on his special day? He doesn't deserve that. He deserve all happiness in the world! If only he knew how desperate I am to try to give him those happiness.
"Well, I was just afraid I might bother you. I thought you were on a date?"
"No that was just an excuse because I had to go home early and bake you these" I point at the box.
"You baked these?" He takes the box and observes the cupcake one by one
"You doubt my baking skill? Go on try it"
He takes one cupcake and gives it a bite. His eyes light up as he tastes my cupcake.
"Told you" I smile with pride.
"I didn't know you can bake?" he giggles.
"Are you kidding me?" I roll my eyes. "There are a lot of things you don't know about me, Spence"
"Oh yeah? What else that I don't know about you?"
"Let me see" I pause and watch him eats. He looks like a little kid. But I'm happy to see him that happy. Ever since I met him, it was clear that he had been through a lot of things, and I can see how much his past eating him slowly day by day. I try my best to take every opportunity to make him at least look a little alive. Even though it only last for a few minutes. "I never actually go on those dates that I told you guys about" I lower my voice down and look at the floor.
"I knew that already"
"What? How so?" I look back at him and furrow my eyebrows.
"Well, you always have those twitches on the corner of your eyes when you lie. And I knew you lied about going on a date because you just want to be away from all of us so you can isolate yourself to process everything that happened on the case. Plus, I knew if you stayed here with us after we were back, we'll make you remember all those bad memories about the case"
I sigh. He is that good at reading people. Well, he is the best profiler this team has. I shouldn't be surprised.
"I hate how easy you can read me" I pout.
"Well, that is the only easy part. The rest is not really"
"Oh? I thought you knew everything?" I let out a chuckle.
"You.. you just.. unpredictable"
Is he... blushing? Even in the dim light of the BAU office I can see his cheeks are turning into a slight pink.
"Well, I still win then" I grin.
"Fine. You are" he smiles widely at me. My favorite smile of all people in this entire planet. The only smile that can warms my heart, and convince me that the world is not a scary place.
The only smile that makes me fall so hard for him.
"Well, there's other thing..." I said hesitantly.
"What other thing?" he looks at me curiously.
"That you don't know about me" I'm contemplating whether I should go tell this one to him or not.
"Oh? Okay what is it?"
Shit, okay there's no turning back now, isn't it? What else can I tell him that he hasn't known about me yet? Even with the previous fact, he can already guessed it perfectly. I can't make up another stories because he would know that I'm lying again.
I mean, I've been dying to tell him about this anyway. No matter what will happen, at least I've told him. Because I may never have the same opportunity anymore.
I take a deep breath before I shut my eyes and say "the I love you thing was not a joke"
I said that as quick as possible. But there's only silence. I don't dare to open my eyes, because I can feel him staring at me.
"W... what?" After a few minutes he finally speaks with a really low voice, almost like a whisper.
"God damn it, Spencer" I chuckle nervously. Why he has to make me suffer? "I was never joking when I said I love you" with all the courage I have left, I open my eyes to stare back at him. "Ever since I met you. On the elevator. On my first day. Remember? You helped me..."
"Hold the elevator doors for you? Yeah, I do remember. But.. how?"
I shrug. "I don't know. You never really know when and how you fall in love with someone, right? You just.. did. And also the fact that you were always there for me. Even when I screwed up, or... having some existential crisis. Or whenever I feel like I want to just give up. You might never realized it, but you've done so much to me and that is what makes me fall even deeper for you"
He seems hesitate. "But.. I.. I'm not as good as you think I am.."
"Spencer" I cut him off because I know that he's about to start the whole I don't deserve you thing. Because I know that's what he's always do. Thinking that he doesn't deserve to be loved, to be happy. "You are. And I don't care about what you have done in the past. And don't you dare give me the 'you deserve someone better' because I don't need anyone else but you" I can feel tears start forming on my eyes. "If you want to reject me please find a better excuse. I mean come on. That's lame. You don't have to say anything back. I was just letting you know something about me that you don't know, remember?" I try to let out a laugh to stop myself from crying.
"Who said I want to reject you?" he takes my hands, and then hold my chin so I look at him. I carefully stare back to meet his hazel eyes. He looks calm, and somehow longing for something on me. "I never thought that you would feel that way to me because it's just impossible for a girl like you to fall for a guy like me. You're like a dream that could never be real."
I was about to open my mouth before he cuts me. "And I also afraid that I might hurt you. I know what I am capable of"
"I'm not afraid of you. Both you and I have the capability to hurt each other, Spence. I'm not as good as you think I am too"
I can see through his eyes that there's a battle on his mind. I know there's a part of him that wants me. But there's also a bigger part of him that is still afraid to let himself fall for me and constantly reminding him that he's unworthy.
"Spencer, whatever your evil side try to tell you, you're not. Whatever happened to you in the past, it doesn't determine who you are now, or who you will be in the future"
He places his hand on my cheek and caress it with his thumb. He leans in slowly and stares on my lips, asking for my permission. I can hear my heart beating so fast as I close my eyes. He presses his lips on mine softly. I always dream about his lips on mine, but this is even better that I could ever imagine. It feels like the world has stopped moving and the time stand still. I want this moment to last forever. Just me and him. No bad guys to chase, no mystery to solve, no trauma to face.
I immediately return the kiss and wrap my hands around his neck. After months of trying to hold everything back, I could finally able to pour all that I feel towards him.
"This is the best birthday I've ever had, and you're the best gift I've ever got in my life" he leans his forehead on mine after we break our kiss. "You have no idea how much I've been falling head over heels to you"
"You do?" I nuzzle my nose at his.
"You have bewitched me ever since you enter that elevator doors"
"I'm glad I was almost late that day, so I could ran to you on that elevator" I giggle, earning another kiss from him.
"I'm glad you did"