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It takes him maybe longer than he should to notice it, maybe because Poppy was coded to always smile or look cute and “Asuna” is so serious. Maybe because he didn’t want to see it.
“Poppy flinches from me,” he whispers into Emu’s ear. They aren’t together in that sense but they’re one and they're them and Emu still only has one bed in his apartment since they’re planning on moving soon, anyways , so it’s only right to curl into it together now that he’s back and he’s here.
Emu takes a second to respond, however, because he’s faced the other way and probably half asleep, and maybe Parado shouldn’t have said anything, not when it’s so late. Not when Emu has work in the morning.
But maybe, by the time he’s let himself say it, it’s been a week since he noticed and he can’t bit back the thoughts. Of just how horrible he’d been, to innocents. To the people he cared about.
But Emu does turn around, sitting up as Parado does the same. His face is open and kinder than he has a right to be, but there’s still something at it’s edge, and in the bond.
“I know,” he says. “I don’t think she means to… when I got her back, the first time, she did the same to me.”
The first time. Right.
“You better enjoy the game more.”
Right.
Emu’s gentle hand on his shoulder uddenly shocks him from his thoughts, and he flinches before remembering the who and the when. Parado blinks.
“Sorry,” Emu offers. Parado just shakes his head.
“It’s not your fault I’m broken.”
Emu just sighs.
“Parado…” he says, and even if the eyes Parado can’t bring himself to meet even in the darkness wouldn’t have shown the grief he felt, Parado can still feel it in their bond, the bond which has gone from nearly one sided to terrifyingly and exileratingly equal since they’ve started fighting together. “You aren’t broken. Bad things happened to you and you responded badly, there’s a difference. What matters is the choices you’re making now.”
Now it’s Parado’s turn to sigh, letting himself curl into his other half’s chest.
“Still, I’m sorry,” he offers. He can feel Emu’s smile, at that.
“You have nothing to apologize for, here,” he says. “ But… ”
“But?”
“Have you ever apologized to her for what happened?” Emu asks.
Parado blinks.
“I… no,” he says. “I guess not. Still, after what I let happen to her… she didn’t want to join us so I forced her. And then I got jealous… I’m sorry isn’t really enough.”
Probably hates him, honestly…
“Hey,” Emu says. “I know we weren’t ever really taught about forgiveness but… she doesn’t hate you, she’s probably just hurt.”
That wasn’t even a case of reading thoughts. Emu just knows him. That’s becoming a nic constant over the past month and a half. Realizing how easy it is to understand if he actually tries.
Even so…
“…I’ll figure it out,” Parado lies.
It’s been a week since then and Emu hasn’t brought it up. Good, because Parado doesn’t know how to do so either.
But because this is his life, it ends up being Poppy herself who bring it up.
“Are you okay?” She asks. “You’ve been distant these past few days.”
“I’m fine,” Parado says. “Just thinking.”
“About what?”
“I’m sorry.”
Damn his lack of a working filter. Poppy blinks.
“What?” She asks.
“I’m… sorry,” Parado says. “I hurt you, forced you to join me and then when Emu saved you, I…”
Tossed her to the ground, smiling like he didn’t care for her at all. Like she wasn’t his friend unless she was his.
Poppy blinks, pauses…
“Oh,” she says. It comes out harsher because she’s Asuna, right now. That has to be it.
And yet…
“You don’t have to say anything,” Parado says. “I just don’t want you to be hurt.”
“N-no,” Poppy says. “It’s… no. It’s not okay. You hurt a lot of people, including me. And Lovelica made me…”
She trails off.
“I won’t say it wasn’t bad,” she says. “But I don’t blame you.”
Parado breathes a sigh of relief.
“Good,” he says. “But I just wanted you to know… I’d never do that again, I promise.”
“…thanks,” Asuna says, with a small smile. “I mean it.”
Parado sits at one of his old hangout spots, from Before, blinks at the feeling of another Bugster close by and setting aside his game.
He turns to the source and… oh.
Poppy.
She sits next to him, carefully.
“Can I sit here?”
He smiles.
“If you want,” he says. “Of course.”