Chapter Text
(for the 'Lost & Found' fanfiction collections)
(Lines in bold don't belong to me but to JK &/or WB.)
He deserves it! That was all that had gone through Remus's mind ever since he had that conversation with Harry Potter last fall; the time he had explained to the boy about Dementors & their Kiss, which Sirius Black's sentence had been up-graded to.
Sirius ... why did it have to be you? Remus lay back in his chair, groaning. He was back to that question. "Wish Harry would just get here already!" Remus muttered aloud, desperate for a distraction. He had taken the boy aside nearly every week, teaching him the Patronus charm to send Dementors away. The Dementors had oddly enough, taken a liking to 'the boy who lived'; partly because of the boy's past. Or perhaps they were just looking for something to do as Sirius never seemed to actually show himself?
Either way, Remus would not have it. He had lost Prongs, Lily, Wormtail & even his own mate. Sirius had betrayed everyone; there was no way Moony would let him back into the pack, Padfoot was dead to him. So he gave extra lessons to Harry Potter, who should be arriving any minute.
But then again, the moment Remus would lay eyes on Harry, he'd think of what he had said. He deserves it! "We're back to that!" Remus growled. It was a never-ending vicious circle. He deserves it ... Why him? Wish that child would hurry up! He deserves it ... Why him?
Fact was, Remus did not agree with Harry Potter. Sirius didn't deserve the Dementor's Kiss; he deserved to be dead. No not that either! I want him dead! Remus corrected himself for the billionth time. Because he was a wolf (the were kind), he had mated for life. The Dementors wouldn't kill Sirius, exactly, which meant that Remus would be stuck in this wretched marriage until Sirius died many years later.
So that's the real reason why he had come to teach the DADA at Hogwarts this year. Remus almost turned it down, saying he'd just endanger the school even though Dumbledore reminded him time & again that the Shrieking Shack was still available. Remus didn't want to come. Too many memories of Sirius, James, his first kiss with Sirius, Lily, when Sirius asked him to become mates, Peter ... he couldn't forget Sirius either, of course.
Then the unbelievable happened. Azkaban suffered its first loss & the lucky one to escape? Sirius. Of course, bloody Sirius! Everyone's attention turned to Hogwart's & 'the boy who lived' & said "Would he live through this?" Why would they say that? Sirius Black was believed to be headed for Hogwarts, which turned out to be true. The scent of Padfoot lost into the water. The attack on Gryffindor's door. It was believed he had come to finish what he started, to kill Harry Potter like he had done to his parents.
That was what had changed Remus's mind, he was only here to keep the child safe. He had come to kill Sirius, partly because he wanted to end the bond & move on & partly because, well, he didn't want his first love to suffer through something like that.
Then perhaps he could take Harry Potter home. Harry should be old enough by now to understand what a werewolf is & leave once a month; maybe leave him with the Dursley's overnight, despite Harry's constant complaining about them, at least he'll live.
But this thought drove Remus crazy. He had basically abandoned the boy. With no pack to stop him, Remus was afraid he would have eaten him on the first night. What if Harry turned against him if he told him the truth? Simply put, Remus also had a legal claim on Harry, thanks to his marriage to Sirius. At least something good comes from it, even though he was brought back to thoughts of ... Sirius.
Though at least, he was interrupted this time as Harry Potter finally appeared for his Patronus lessons. It was a good distraction, though not a permanent one & the nagging thought in the back of his mind, I should just tell Harry already & take him home. We can get out of here! didn't help matters much. What if Harry turned around & abandoned him? Or what if Harry did accept him & then they'd be on the run from Sirius for the rest of their lives? Either way sounded dismal.
Remus took out chocolate bar he would share with Harry after every lesson. Not paying attention since he was still thinking about Sirius, he choked on a piece.
"You ok, Sir?"
"Fine!" Remus gagged, teeth gritted. "Wrong way is all."
Harry shrugged & went back to his chocolate. Did his Professor just ... blush ... or something? Also, what's with the pointed teeth? Harry Potter brushed the latter thought aside, thinking he was imagining things.
Harry eventually left, leaving Remus alone with his never-ending circle of discorded thoughts. It went on forever, days later. Remus was stuck with such thoughts, Harry would appear in class causing a short distraction, then back to his thoughts, then the Patronus evenings. Never once did Sirius actually show up. Why didn't he just strike already? Ohh, would he be in for a surprise when he tried that!
All the while, Harry's two friends' arguing over some stupid pet called Scabbers gave Remus a headache!
Remus finally decided he'd just go for a short stroll through the castle one night so no one would interrupt him. He was wrong again.
Harry Potter's voice broke through the darkness. " ... ask that he keeps his abnormally large nose out of other people's business!"
"Why you insolent—!" Severus Snape began.
Oh dear! Knowing Snivelus, Harry's in deep trouble! Wait! How dare Harry talk to a Professor like that?'! Even though ...
He deserves it!
