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It started with a dare . A simple, humorous, meaningless dare their friends made.
“ Truth or dare? ” Sunoo asked with a smug smile, his eyes on Jay, who was sitting across the little circle they formed. Everyone in the room turned their heads to the boy, who was silent, but had a daring look in his eyes.
"Dare." Jay said, a confident glint in his eyes and certainty laced in his voice. He didn't look at all nervous for his dare, which amazed everyone, since it was Kim Sunoo, who would be giving the dare. Someone who could care less about the aftermath.
"How fun." Sunoo smiled sweetly, eyes twinkling in excitement as he leaned back into the soft cushions of the couch. "Ok, remember, you can't back out of the dare." Sunoo reminded the older of the rules, to which Jay only nodded at.
It was supposed to be funny and nothing serious.
Sunoo glanced at Jungwon, then back to Jay, trying to fight back the smile. “Kiss Jungwon.” He said softly. “And not just a peck. An actual kiss .”
Jungwon flushes immediately. He still remembers how his brain momentarily stopped, the only thing on his mind being Jay and the short thought of kissing him. He’s never kissed anyone before, and has never felt the urge to kiss someone up until now. It’s not like he liked Jay that way, no way , but a part of himself kept saying it wasn’t the worst idea of having him as his first kiss.
“Okay.” Jay replies casually, as if this wasn’t a huge deal.
Jungwon gulps. “Wait… what?” He mumbles out, turning to Sunoo with wide eyes. Was this really happening? Were they really letting Sunoo do this? He turns to Heeseung, but all he gives him is a small shrug.
“You nervous?” Sunoo asks, tilting his head to the side slightly. His smile was innocent, but Jungwon knew there was something else in that smile, and Jungwon was definitely going to get the boy back for this.
“Of course he’s nervous, it’s his first kiss.” Niki says, like it was the most obvious thing in the room.
Jay turns to Jungwon with furrowed brows. “You’ve never kissed anyone before?” He asked, confusion laced in his voice. Jungwon tries his best not to crumble under his gaze, but it was hard when he was looking directly at him without a blink.
Jungwon realizes he hasn’t said anything, so he shakes his head, a nervous-sheepish chuckle falling from his mouth. He fiddles with his hands, feeling uncomfortable with how many eyes were suddenly on him.
Jay turns to Sunoo, and they seem to have some sort of telepathic conversation. It might have gone on longer, if it wasn’t for Sunghoon coughing awkwardly.
Jay pushes himself off the couch, and walks over to where Jungwon was sitting on the floor by himself. He didn't say anything at first, and Jungwon was sure that he must’ve been mad or something.
But,
“C’mon, we’ll do the dare in my room.” Jay says, reaching his hand out for Jungwon. He can hear Niki and Jake giggling in the back, which causes him to flush once again.
“Wait– what? You have to do the dare here.” Sunoo whines. Jay turns to the boy, and rolls his eyes. “My house, my rules. We’re doing it in my room.” Jay says sternly, staring at Sunoo for a few solid seconds, before turning back to Jungwon.
Jungwon took a quick glance to Sunoo, who looked disappointed, but didn’t say anything. He looks up to Jay, and smiles sheepishly at him.
The walk to his bedroom was quiet and long. Jungwon felt like he was going to burst like a balloon, his heart was racing, and he was more nervous than he would like to admit. But he was thankful he didn’t have to have his first kiss in front of all his friends, because he knew if that were the case, Sunoo would not let him live.
Jay stopped at the familiar door, and opens it. They walked in, and Jungwon felt an odd feeling wash over him. If he was being completely, utterly honest with himself, he wasn’t ready for his first kiss. He barely had time to even think about it, and yet– he was minutes away from kissing Jay.
Yeah, he wasn’t ready.
“I-I’m sorry, I can’t kiss you.” Jungwon stutters out, keeping his eyes casted down to the floor.
Jay stops walking, and sighs. “Am I that ugly to you?”
Jungwon immediately looks up with wide eyes, shaking his head frantically. “No! That’s… that’s not the reason…” he mumbles out the last part quietly.
Jay chuckles, walking closer to Jungwon. He brings his hand up to his hair, and ruffles it. “Calm down, I wasn’t planning on kissing you anyway.”
Although Jungwon didn’t like Jay like that, hearing that kind of sent a pang of pain to his chest. It didn’t feel good.
Jay walks towards his bed, and Jungwon wasn’t sure if he should follow. So he stays where he was standing, and watches Jay sit on his bed.
“So why couldn’t you kiss me?” Jay asks, staring at Jungwon with a small grin. He looked amused, like he was ready to tease Jungwon about whatever the reason was.
Jungwon shrugs, casting his eyes back to the floor. “Kissing seems weird to do with your friends.” He replies. It felt like the answer he was supposed to give, but he knew deep down, it wasn’t the right answer. He just didn’t know what the right answer was, exactly.
Jay nods slowly. “True.”
“What’s your reason?” Jungwon asks, walking over to the bed to sit down. “Why weren’t you planning to kiss me? Am I ugly to you?” Jungwon asks, a small smile growing on his face.
Jay snickers. “You’re not ugly, I think you look kind of cute. Like a cat or something.” He says, smiling softly. Jungwon awkwardly laughs, turning his eyes away from Jay’s.
“Honestly, I was going to do the dare. I didn’t want to lose to Sunoo like last time. But then Niki said it was your first kiss, and I felt bad.” Jay says, chuckling.
Jungwon looks at him with a confused expression. “Why?” He asks, tilting his head to the side.
Jay doesn’t answer right away. “Because you seem like the type of person to care about who you have your first kiss with. I didn’t want to ruin that for you.”
Jungwon smiles at that, then he bursts out into a fit of laughter. Jay looks at him with a confused face, and all Jungwon could do was laugh even more.
It was a thoughtful reason, and Jungwon couldn’t help but feel happy. Even if a small, tiny part of him wanted to kiss Jay.
“I’m sorry–” Jungwon says through a giggle. “I wasn’t expecting that answer.” He tells the older, finally calming down.
Jay quirks an eyebrow up. “What were you expecting?”
Jungwon smiles. “That I was too young or something.”
Jay rolls his eyes playfully at that. “We’re literally two years apart, which is nothing compared to my other friends.” He says, a smile painting his face.
“Oh yeah, your old college friends.” Jungwon snorts, laughing softly. Jay hits his arm gently, also laughing. “You make it sound like they're ancient.” Jay says.
Jungwon shrugs. “I don’t know, the 90’s is pretty ancient.” He teases.
The two end up talking for what seemed like forever, and Jungwon may or may not have developed a small crush on him. It was weird how fast it happened, because it always took him more than a month to finally admit to himself that he has a crush.
“What are you doing?” Jungwon asks as Jay starts messing with his hair, then ruffling up his clothes.
“Gotta make it seem like you just had the best first kiss of your life.” Jay says, finally pulling away once he thought Jungwon looked like some crazy madman. He pats the boy on the shoulder, before making a leave for the door.
Walking back into the living room felt scandalous. Niki and Sunoo were looking at him as if he just lost his virginity, and it made Jungwon feel embarrassed. Jake on the other hand looked like a worried mother.
“What the hell did you do to him?” Jake asks, rushing over to Jungwon with concern laced in his voice. The older boy immediately starts to clean up his hair, before turning to Jay with wide eyes.
“He looks like he was struck by lightning.” Jake says, and it almost sounded like he was mad. But everyone knew it was just Jake being his usual protective self.
“I guess Jay wins.” Sunoo sighs.
The room goes into a full blast of argument of the dare, some saying it was a terrible idea ( Jake ), while others thought it was funny. But through all the chaos that was happening in the room, Jungwon catches Jay’s eyes.
It felt like a hit straight to his heart. It was a weird thing to feel fine one second, then giddy and excited the next second. It set a positive feeling inside Jungwon.
If he could change the past, he would have definitely shut niki up about the first kiss thing.