Work Text:
The sound of people chattering and cars on the road filled the air. A bus traveled along the freeway, passing over a bridge that ran between a lake. Its blue waters reflected the sunlight, patches of white glittering on the surface.
Song Qinglan was scrolling through a group chat and occasionally responding to the messages, earbuds in his ears and music streaming through them. He was sitting in the back, against the window, wanting to have some peace and quiet before being stuck with those idiots for a few hours.
He got quiet, sure, but definitely no peace.
For some reason, the world decided to turn against him and have Ji Yushi sit next to him. Because most people liked sitting in the front, the rows filled in such order. Ji Yushi, who was held up by his cats, came slightly late, and had to sit in the back, next to the “scariest person of the class” Song Qinglan. Ji Yushi didn’t particularly mind, and sat down next to him without batting an eye.
As the bus started to move, Ji Yushi felt his eyes closing. He had woken up in the middle of the night because of his hyperthymesia, and was extremely tired when he had to get up in the morning. Now that he had an opportunity to make some of it up on the bus ride, he naturally wouldn’t waste it. He closed his eyes, evening out his breathing, hoping to at least rest for a bit.
What he didn’t see was Song Qinglan casting glances at him every once in a while.
Though Song Qinglan was a (self-proclaimed) homophobe, it was more of him disliking Lin Xinlan (a gay), than him disliking actual gays. So, the problem now was not that he didn’t like the fact that Ji Yushi was sitting next to him because he didn’t like him, but rather that he didn’t like the fact that Ji Yushi was sitting next to him because he liked him.
He never would’ve thought that he, a definitely straight man, would lose his mind over something small such as Ji Yushi’s eyes lighting up when he saw something that he liked.
… Until he realized that there weren’t really any women that caught his eye, and that his attention would always be focused on Ji Yushi when the other was around.
…… Okay, maybe he was gay. But only for Ji Yushi. (That still counted as being gay.)
He snapped out of his reverie when he saw Ji Yushi tilting toward the center of the bus, about to fall over. Without thinking, he reached out and put his palm against Ji Yushi’s head, and pushed the other onto his own shoulder. But once he felt the weight on his body, Song Qinglan retracted his hand extremely quickly, as if he had touched a hot stove.
Oh shit, he thought to himself, trying to discreetly look at Ji Yushi, who seemed to still be asleep. If he wakes up now, how do I explain this?
When he had first been introduced to Ji Yushi, he treated him with extreme disgust and disdain, attempting to shun him in every occasion that allowed for him to do so. But Ji Yushi really was eye-catching, his intelligence and memory making him shine brighter than any other person he had ever seen. At some point in time, those feelings had faded and had been replaced with slight admiration and yearning.
But he had never told Ji Yushi how his views had changed; he was too embarrassed to do so. He would congratulate and cheer the other on sometimes, and could see the surprise and gratitude in Ji Yushi’s expression every time he did so. Still, Song Qinglan was unsure as to how Ji Yushi felt toward him. Being mocked by the other if he ever found out was inevitable. Song Qinglan felt that that was acceptable — he was more afraid of Ji Yushi shoving him away.
This was the first time Song Qinglan had harbored feelings for someone (besides that little preschool girl that he couldn’t remember). He didn’t know how he was supposed to approach it, and was blindly fumbling his way through the pursuing processes. How was he supposed to know if it would end in success? Because of his fear of failure, he tried to hold himself back, so that he wouldn’t have to experience the disappointment if that hope of thread was ever cut off.
Before Song Qinglan could dig a pit of depression for himself and jump in, he felt Ji Yushi nuzzle against his shoulder, adjusting himself to be in a more comfortable position, the tips of Ji Yushi’s hair brushing against his neck. The latter let out a small sigh of contentment, his eyes still shut as he continued to sleep.
Song Qinglan froze, unsure of what to do. If the others saw him, they’d point and laugh, saying “look at him, Song Qinglan, the toughest one out of all of us, frozen stiff because of a gay!” How was he supposed to uphold his reputation then?
But he didn’t have the heart to push Ji Yushi away. Ji Yushi reminded him of a cat, his eyes bright and actions precise. However, Ji Yushi was not particularly close to anyone. He usually kept his distance and never really tried to prompt discussion, usually observing everyone else. It was quite rare for Song Qinglan to see the other act clingy out of his own volition. And so… he decided that he’d just suffer and let Ji Yushi do as he liked. When Ji Yushi woke, Song Qinglan swore that he would never speak of this incident.
Ji Yushi had actually woken when he felt himself tilting over. He was about to put his arm out to stabilize himself when Song Qinglan reached him first. Surprised, Ji Yushi felt himself be pressed against a warm shoulder before the pressure alleviated. He smiled inwardly; he could almost imagine the embarrassment on Song Qinglan’s face.
Deciding to take advantage of this moment, he made himself a little more comfortable while pretending to be unconscious. If he were more daring, he would’ve wrapped his hands around Song Qinglan’s waist. But he knew that if he did that, Song Qinglan would probably kick him off the bus or throw him out the window. Well, this was enough.
If he completely overlooked the fact that Song Qinglan treated him horribly when they first met, he could say that Song Qinglan was his ideal type. He was smart and decisive, and had natural leader skills that made Ji Yushi want to follow him. His only shortcoming was his horrible attitude.
He remembered when they had just gotten to know each other and argued in the room, drawing everyone’s attention. They had both referred to each other with the most polite of terms, but when the words came out of their mouths, it sounded like nothing more than jabs attempting to undermine the other’s mentality. The two of them had stared at each other defiantly, absolutely refusing to back down from their stance. That was the first time he had experienced Song Qinglan’s dominant attitude himself, and, looking back on it, he did find it quite attractive. However, at that time, Song Qinglan was rude and extremely insensitive, making Ji Yushi want to do nothing more than to punch him in the face and slap some sense into him.
Well, that attitude had changed recently. He didn’t know how hard Song Qinglan was trying to hide it from him, but he caught the moments where Song Qinglan himself didn’t realize he was smiling slightly as he watched Ji Yushi, or when he was extra attentive to him in case anything happened. Though, Ji Yushi was not one to confront another and make things clear. He loved toying with misunderstandings; Song Qinglan still probably thought that he had three boyfriends.
But amid the moments he was playing around, Ji Yushi did still like to be a little selfish at times. He chose to be a little late because he knew Song Qinglan liked to sit in the back and everyone else would stay away from him out of fear of being yelled at. He also knew his limits as to what he could and couldn’t do, though he had tried toeing at that bottom line a few times.
Until the day they made their feelings for each other clear, Ji Yushi decided that he would take the smallest of steps and pursue Song Qinglan.
-
When the bus stopped, Song Qinglan gently shook Ji Yushi awake, the latter opening his eyes blearily and looking at him for a moment in confusion. “We’re here,” Song Qinglan explained, nodding his head toward the door where people were getting off.
“Oh…” Ji Yushi rubbed his eyes. He had actually fallen asleep; it was the best sleep he had gotten in a while, one where he wasn’t plagued with nightmares. He slowly raised his gaze to meet Song Qinglan’s, then smiled slightly. “Thank you.”
He didn’t specify if he said that because Song Qinglan woke him up, or if it was because he let him sleep on his shoulder, but he saw Song Qinglan’s gaze soften anyway. “It’s no problem,” he said, reaching out and brushing a stray strand of hair out of Ji Yushi’s face. “Go off now, they’re all waiting.”
It wasn’t until he stepped off and was roughly shoved by Tang Qi that he realized what he had done. Song Qinglan glared at him before the other could say anything, and Tang Qi shut his mouth while pouting, feeling wronged. Before they could start a conversation, all of them were called over to listen to the lecture.
The lecture took place in a planetarium. The ceiling was filled with color as the lecturer pointed out various stars and explained different theories regarding the galaxies that existed in places the eye couldn’t see.
Everyone looked up at the nebulae displayed, but Song Qinglan only looked for a moment before turning to watch Ji Yushi. His eyes reflected the blues and purples, a childlike excitement in his gaze. As if he felt Song Qinglan’s glance, he slowly lowered his head.
At that moment, Song Qinglan felt something in him, something that made him want to protect Ji Yushi and let him keep that innocence forever. If he could be by his side, he could make sure that that light would never fade.
… Fuck.
Ji Yushi had once told him that “he was so deep in the closet he was homophobic.” Who would've known that he had actually spoken the truth?
Song Qinglan quickly looked away, as if their gazes meeting was an accident. But Ji Yushi could see the faint pink dusting over his cheeks and the edges of Song Qinglan’s ears. The former smiled to himself. Song Qinglan’s embarrassed side was quite cute.
Though they didn’t talk at all during the lecture, if anyone paid close enough attention, they would’ve found that Song Qinglan and Ji Yushi would glance at each other every so often, sometimes just missing the other’s gaze. They really were dancing around each other; but because of both of their natures, they had never confronted the problem — and it didn’t seem like they planned to.
By the time they left, the sun had already set, the clear night coming into view. There were no clouds, and they were quite a bit away from the city, so the galaxy above them shone brightly, stars dotting the black sky above them. The lecturer walked backward and pointed out a few constellations, explaining their origins and any related stories.
As if they tacitly understood, both Song Qinglan and Ji Yushi lagged a little bit behind, trailing at the end of the group. “Have you studied constellations before?” Song Qinglan asked offhandedly, not really expecting a response, since Ji Yushi was probably listening to the lecturer speak.
“I have,” Ji Yushi responded fairly quickly, much to Song Qinglan’s surprise. “I’ve studied star charts before.”
“Oh?” Song Qinglan hummed. He couldn’t really quiz Ji Yushi on his knowledge — he knew very well that the other could name at least a hundred without repetition.
“Yeah,” Ji Yushi nudged him slightly, gaining his attention before raising his arm to point at a line of stars in the distance. “Those five in a line shaped like a bow over there, that one’s called Vulpecula. They say it’s a fox that’s carrying a goose in its mouth, bringing it to Cerberus.”
Ji Yushi lowered his hand slightly and looked at Song Qinglan, a small smile creeping onto his face. “But to me, this constellation has a different meaning.”
Song Qinglan looked at him wordlessly, gesturing for him to explain.
“What it means, though,” Ji Yushi’s hand brushed over Song Qinglan’s shoulder, the warmth of his fingers passing through the thin shirt. “Is something you’ll have to find out on your own.”
Everyone else had already returned to the bus, and Ji Yushi followed them, taking a few steps before turning around and seeing that Song Qinglan was still frozen in his spot. “Let’s go back,” he called.
Then, Ji Yushi mouthed three words, his smile widening before he turned back and boarded the bus, leaving Song Qinglan alone under the stars.
Song Qinglan looked up at the constellation that Ji Yushi had pointed out again before someone stuck their head out and called for him to get on the bus. He made his way over, leaving the stars to shine alone in their glory.
-
It wasn’t until much later that Song Qinglan figured out what Ji Yushi had meant that day. The two of them were on the couch, Ji Yushi lazily curled up in his embrace. Song Qinglan wrapped his arms around Ji Yushi’s waist, and Ji Yushi dozed off as he rested his head on Song Qinglan’s shoulder.
The three cats were scattered on the couch, minding their own business. Sunlight streamed in through the floor-to-ceiling windows, illuminating the wood floor with golden light. A comfortable silence filled the room, only broken by the sounds of their soft breathing.
Song Qinglan was looking through posts on his phone, his thumb on the screen and about to scroll when he realized that there was a picture of a small boy and a fox. There was quite a bit of text, but two particular paragraphs caught his eye.
“What must I do, to tame you?” asked the little prince.
“You must be very patient,” replied the fox. “First you will sit down at a little distance from me, like that, in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day...”
At that moment, he was reminded of that day that Ji Yushi had told him about Vulpecula as they stood under the stars. Song Qinglan huffed, tilting his head to wake Ji Yushi by kissing the patch of exposed skin on his neck. “I can’t believe you,” he murmured.
“What is it?” Ji Yushi straightened up, his voice slightly hoarse. From the way he was sitting, he was slightly taller than Song Qinglan, and he tilted his head down to look at him.
“That night we went to the planetarium,” Song Qinglan used one hand to hold Ji Yushi’s chin, the other to weave into Ji Yushi’s hair. “What did you say before you got onto the bus?”
A look of surprise spread across Ji Yushi’s features before it morphed into mischief. “You finally found out, hm?” Ji Yushi teased. “Took you long enough.”
“Sorry to keep you waiting.”
Ji Yushi leaned in to press his forehead against Song Qinglan’s. “I’d wait for you forever,” he murmured. “My little prince.”
Song Qinglan laughed softly, pushing Ji Yushi’s head down, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. “At that time, were you allowing me to pursue you?”
“Hmm, maybe,” Ji Yushi brushed their lips together.
Song Qinglan moved his hands to cup Ji Yushi’s face, his thumbs running along the latter’s cheeks. He smiled as he looked at Ji Yushi, thoughts surfacing in his mind.
If I could, I would pick the stars for you, so I could give you a bouquet of celestial roses. I wish to see your smile, day after day. I will be responsible for you, and I will be sure to remember. So, Ji Yushi, let me give you my heart for eternity.
Do you know… how much I love you so?
And when Ji Yushi, who had heard none of Song Qinglan’s thoughts, smiled, the stars in his eyes lighting up, Song Qinglan already knew the answer.