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I first met him across my sister Kat’s English course building. I was half-running to cross the road when the pedestrian light changed to red and some impatient driver honked aggressively to stop me from moving forward. I abruptly halted, bumped into someone behind, and accidentally threw Kat’s assignment in front of the moving traffic.
“SH*T!” Kat would kill me if her paper was damaged.
“Excuse me,’ a soft voice interrupted my thoughts. “You’re stepping on my glasses.”
“Huh?” I took a quick glance at the voice owner – a tanned guy with a skinhead – before retrieving a pair of glasses from under my left shoe. “Sorry… is it broken?”
“Looks fine. Your documents, though…”
I shrugged. “A dirty assignment is better than nothing.”
“Touché.” He grinned, and suddenly my day became a little brighter. We stood side by side until the pedestrian light turned green again, then he surprised me by kneeling in the middle of the street to collect my scattered papers. I was still at a loss for words when he handed the pile back.
“Hey, tha-“ I started, but he only waved me off with a smile and sprinted away.
~~~
The second time was about two weeks later. I instantly recognized him because he was wearing the exact same attire as before, all black from head to toe. He was walking out of the building with headphones on, eyes fixed solely on his phone.
He was handsome, all right. Despite his standard build and average height, there was this sort of a magnetic aura around him. I noticed passersby giving him second looks and two separate groups of girls whispering amongst themselves while checking him out. However, with face buried in the phone like that, it seemed unlikely that he was aware of any attentions thrown his way – making him all the more interesting to me.
~~~
The third time, there was a girl waiting for him outside the building with red and puffy eyes. He took one look at her and ushered her quickly to the nearest sidewalk bench. Whatever they were talking about, she was very emotional and immediately started crying again. She rested her head on his shoulder while he was consoling her, holding her hand the entire time.
I wasn’t sure what got into me but I messaged Kat saying I’d be late picking her up. I was curious, that’s all… not like I was stalking him or anything. They sat there for almost one hour until she finished pouring her heart out. She then hugged him before getting in a cab and he patted her back warmly, but didn’t wait for her to close the cab door before turning around. Although their body language indicated some level of intimacy, I didn’t think she was his girlfriend – which meant I needed to find more clues about his relationship status.
~~~
If seeing him was purely coincidental before, since that day I voluntarily offered to pick Kat up twice a week in the hope of catching a glimpse of him. Some days I succeeded, some days I didn’t, but I kept on going. On Mondays he usually walked straight to the train station. The girl came every second or third week, always on a Thursday. They would either catch the train together (not his usual Monday route – and please don’t ask how I knew this) or chat on a sidewalk bench sipping iced coffee and pink milk. On the Thursdays that she wasn’t there, though, I barely saw him coming out of the building at all.
Side note: after scrutinizing them on a few more occasions, I was now absolutely sure that they weren’t dating. And since I never actually spotted him with another girl, for my own sake I’d assume he was still single.
Nothing noteworthy happened after the girl’s crying episode, but I was content to simply watch him from afar and take notes of his tiny habits. Like how he worried his bottom lip whenever he was fully concentrating on his game, or how he always patted the lion keychain on his backpack after he zipped it close. Without realizing, I had been observing him for close to five months.
One day I had about twenty minutes to kill and decided to visit a comic book store nearby. I was browsing the shelves when I heard a staff greeting someone excitedly.
“Sing! Why are you so late?! I put a copy of the new volume aside for you because they were sold out as soon as we opened!”
Curious, I looked up to see that he was talking to my guy (Sing?) and my heart skipped a beat. He only smiled at his friend’s antics. “Sorry Choot, been busy. Let’s pay now.”
As if on cue, a girl came rushing in and asked about the same volume. Choot apologized and suggested her to come back next week for the second shipment. Hearing that, she seemed ready to burst into tears.
“Please… can you help me? I’ve liked this guy for years and it’s his birthday… no one accepted pre-orders and I was planning to line up this morning but my dog was sick… or please can I buy yours first? I’ll pay double, you’re my last hope…” She was rambling, visibly upset.
The guys exchanged a look and Choot shook his head slightly, but apparently Sing either didn’t understand or didn’t care because the next thing I saw, he gave his own copy away. No one would miss the dirty look Choot gave Sing when he wrapped up the comic for her.
After she left, Sing immediately got smacked on the head. “What have you done?!”
“Ouch Choot! Be nice, she’s liked him for years.”
“We’ve been waiting for this comic for years too!”
“Exactly, so what’s another week?”
“Sing… I can’t with you…” Choot rolled his eyes. “Read mine first, then.”
“Thanks Choot, you’re the best,” Sing grinned widely and if I was doubtful before, at that moment I knew that I was definitely falling for this guy.
~~~
On that fateful Thursday, I was half an hour late and my usual parking spot was taken so I drove around the block. When I parked in front of a tiny café on a narrow street behind Kat’s building, I unexpectedly saw him sitting on a window seat. So this was probably why he never walked out front – there was a shortcut from the back of the building to this alleyway.
Kat almost reached the car when she noticed Sing and knocked on the glass window to catch his attention. Wait – they knew each other?! He looked up from his laptop, smiled, and came outside. I quickly lowered the window to eavesdrop on their conversation.
“P’Sing,” Kat gave a ‘wai’, which Sing returned. “I didn’t get to say this after class but good luck P’, I’m going to miss you.”
And there was that million-dollar grin again. “Thanks Kat, means a lot that you enjoyed my classes. You’re going home?”
“Yep, there’s my brother,” she pointed to me and I immediately looked the other way. “Do you like this café, P’? I tried once and never go back…I mean, how could you even go wrong with French fries and iced tea?!”
“I know, right?” He laughed and I found that I really, really liked the sound. “The key is to always order iced Americano because that’s the only decent thing they make.”
“Why do you still come here then?” Kat frowned.
“I’ll tell you a story,” Sing started. “It was the owner’s wife’s dream to run a café like this, but she passed away three months after they opened. Although Uncle can’t cook to save his life and can’t afford to hire anyone, he didn’t have the heart to abandon something so valuable to his wife. His kids are all out of town too, so he gets lonely being at home. I’m trying to support him while I can... and the lease is only for another few months…”
“Awww P’Singggg…” Kat put a hand over her heart and acted like she was going to faint. “If you were younger, I’d chase you for sure!”
What the hell? I couldn’t decide which was worse – the fact that my sister was flirting with the person I’d been obsessed with all this while, or realizing I just fell for him a bit more after seeing (again) how kind and considerate he was.
“Oi, I’m not that old!” Sing laughed it off, but I could tell from the hand behind his neck that he was a bit embarrassed.
“Anyway I better go, P’. Safe flight and all the best for your studies!”
“Bye Kat, see you when I see you,” he waved and headed back inside.
“Who were you flirting with?!” I asked as soon as Kat got in.
She scowled. “You know P’, I’m fifteen now. Old enough for a boyfriend.”
“You wish! Who’s that?”
“My English tutor.”
“Isn’t he too young?”
“Still older than you. He’s graduated.”
“Which school?”
She squinted at me suspiciously. “Why so many questions?”
“I need to know if you’re thinking of dating him.” Yeah, over my dead body!
“Don’t be nuts! He’s too nice, I’d be so insecure all the time. And I’m not into long distance relationships anyway.”
“What?”
“Well he’s flying to Sydney tomorrow for uni. We’re all so sad, he’s real smart and his classes were always fun…”
That was the last thing I heard before getting lost in my own musing. He was leaving tomorrow? To go to a university in frickin’ Australia? And here I thought fate was finally being kinder to me…
As soon as I dropped Kat home, I drove back to the café hoping to see him one last time but when I got there, the seat was already empty.
~~~
I often wondered what I would’ve done differently had I known that was the last day I’d see P’Sing (yep, he’s ‘P’ in my head now). Would I have approached when he was talking to Kat so I could get introduced? Would I have given him good enough first impression that he’d want to keep in touch? Or would I have still done nothing, only watch from a distance and blindly trust in divine intervention to continue throwing him my way? Alas, I’d never figure out the answer now.
The weeks following his departure were difficult – he had occupied so much of my thoughts in the past five months, it felt like I had nothing to look forward to anymore. Short of breaking into the English course’s tutor archives, there was little I could do to track him down. I tried visiting the comic book store but unfortunately Choot had quit. Every Thursday I stopped by his ‘favorite’ café to get an iced Americano (despite never drinking it – I hated bitter things), thinking of it as paying homage to P’Sing. I also ended up becoming quite friendly with the uncle owner that when the café lease was up three months later, I borrowed dad’s pickup to help Uncle join his son in Chiang Mai.
Halfway through my final year of high school I started dating Praew, whom I used to think as one of the boys until she surprisingly confessed. However, after a few months it became apparent that we worked better as close friends and thus mutually decided to break up. I kept myself busy with friends, school activities, and exam preparations, but P’Sing was always at the back of my mind.
By the time I got accepted into the Economics Faculty of Kasetsart University, I’d completely lost hope in ever seeing him again. Every now and then I still found myself wondering how he was doing and ended up relieving the vivid memories of those precious moments all over again, but they didn’t affect my emotions as strongly anymore. Or so I believed, until one day I agreed to play drums at a faculty event and caught sight of the lead cheerleader…
~~~
Sotus Promotion Live Stream with Krist Perawat and Singto Prachaya, 2016
Question: How did you feel when you first met?
K: “I really didn’t like him.” But only because I’d already fallen for him long before our official ‘first meeting’
S: “I didn’t like him either!”
K: “Just imagine him standing in front with the hazing team and shouting at us to sit and stand for over 100 times” and looking so damn irresistible…
S: “Actually we met before that, I was the lead for the cheerleaders and he was the drummer. He just can’t remember because of the long hair.”
K: “Huh?” Had he taken notice of me that night too?
S: “Well it wasn’t very long, it just wasn’t cut.”
As if a mere haircut could stop me from recognizing him anywhere!
K: “The story is not only new to the 800 viewers, but it’s also new to me. We met?” Drat, should’ve sucked it up and said hi first… I’ve wasted so much time!
S: “We met! And I disliked you because the way you hit the drums, like you’re showing off!”
K: “…”
Truth be told, I kind of was, P’. I wanted to catch your attention after all.
One day when you’re mine, perhaps I’ll have the nerve to tell you my story…
~~~
“When I’m yours, huh? So confident?” he looks up at me affectionately, still holding my diary. We’re on my couch, his head in my lap, my fingers running through his soft hair.
“I had to be! I was in so deep I couldn’t see anyone else after you.” I cross my arms and pretend to pout. “If only you knew how unhappy I was when you were gone, P’. How much I wished you were aware of my existence...”
“And if it’s up to me, you’ll never have to feel that way again.” He reaches up to stroke my cheek gently. “Can’t believe Mae used to let you drive without a license, though.”
“Seriously, that’s all you’re taking away from the story?”
His laugh is still my favorite sound in the whole world. “Nope,” he sits up and stares at me so intensely I can feel the warmth of my blush creeping up, “I’ve also determined that taking the risk to confess to you was the best decision I ever made.”
“There was absolutely no risk involved! You were just too dense to pick up on my very obvious hints!”
“But you were… you! Ridiculously talented, loved by everyone, and totally out of my league. How could you possibly want me?”
Good grief, can’t this stupid blush disappear?! “Like you can talk! I’m not the one they keep shipping with different people!”
“Where did that come from?” His eyes twinkle with amusement. “And how is it my fault?”
“You get close to others too easily!” I huff. “Let’s count, shall we? P’Nat, Ohm, Plustor, P’New, P’Tay, Apple, Namtan, P’Gun…”
“Kit,” he pats my head and gives me that intense look again. “I’ll quit acting if it bothers you that much.”
“What? No, no, don’t be insane P’… it’s just… we’re so busy and sometimes I couldn’t meet you for days and then I’d see photos and videos on social media and I… I…”
“Move in with me.”
I immediately shut up. “Come again?”
“Move in with me, Kit. Or ask me to move in with you.” He takes my hands, caressing my palm with his fingers and making me lose all conscious thoughts. “As long as I get to come home to you.”
“…..”
He keeps staring at me with inscrutable expression, seemingly oblivious to the wild pounding of my heart caused by his words.
“I… but... Pluto… Muffin… P’Jane…” I splutter, too overwhelmed to speak coherently. “You don’t even like having a roommate!”
He expertly maneuvers our sitting positions until somehow I end up practically straddling him. “This,” he gestures between us, “is as new to me as it is to you, but I’m crazy about you too.” There’s so much tenderness in his gaze I suddenly find it difficult to breathe. “Since I’m in this for the long haul, why not start now?”
Being rendered speechless, I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in the crook of his neck. Inhaling his familiar scent and trailing light kisses on his collarbone before murmuring softly, “Withdraw the offer or I’m going to stick around forever, you know?”
“Won’t have it any other way,” he holds me tightly. “You’re my partner for life. I don’t want anyone else in my future either.”
“Always the smooth talker,” I poke his chest grudgingly, still trying in vain to conceal my now-red neck and ears. How dare he have a solid poker face while I’m this blushing mess?! “Have I told you how I’ll be eternally grateful for the day you decided to cancel Sydney and return here?”
He smiles and catches my hand. “It was for my Mae, but never thought I’d end up receiving so much more. Thank you for not giving up on me, Kit. Even after so many years.”
“Not an option. I’ve been too much in love with you for too long, P’Sing.”
His face breaks gently into a sheepish grin and God, he’s utterly breathtaking. At that moment I want nothing more than to be able to fit him in my pocket and take him wherever I go. Shield him from the world so no one can steal him away from me.
“So P’…if I say yes, don’t ever break up with me?” I tease, remembering a line we said as a joke before. Except this time, I mean it with my whole heart.
“Kiiitttt,” he chides fondly, ruffling my hair and whispering in all seriousness, “You may have loved me first, but I definitely love you mostest.”
Then he finally leans forward to capture my lips.
~~~
AUTHOR'S NOTE: The conversation in 2016 SOTUS interview part really did happen and if you haven't watched it before, see this link (starting from around 14:50). Their interaction is really cute ^_^
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrpGK_S9kGM&t=958s