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Kakashi had missed school again.
Gai had spent a good few minutes knocking on the front door, but it was becoming increasingly clear that no one was going to answer. The car out front was gone, which meant that Chōza was still at work, and if Akari had been home she would have gotten to the door immediately. She was probably still at work too.
He frowned, humming into his hand as he thought. A glance to his left provided him with the lounge window propped open with a latch; no one would have left the window open, so Kakashi was definitely home.
Well, he knew what he had to do.
The window was open to the second notch, which was enough to slip his arm through. He made quick work of unlatching it and swinging it open the whole way, and immediately hauled himself in through the frame as quickly as possible. (The last thing the Akimichis needed was someone calling and letting them know a random middleschooler had broken into their home.) And remembered to pull the window shut behind him, latching it securely.
He knew his way through their house like the back of his hand. Slipping his shoes off and leaving them by the front door, he first checked in the kitchen on his way to Kakashi’s room. Empty. Alright. Down the hall, past the (closed?) bathroom door, he poked his head into Kakashi’s room.
An absolute mess, but also empty. He wasn’t hidden tucked away in bed, either; the blankets were thrown back from his strange little nest of duvets, as per usual. Alright, then.
Gai backtracked to the bathroom, and knocked against it sharply with his knuckles.
“ Ugh , go away.”
Kakashi’s voice was little more than a muffled grumble. He sounded like he was in pain- Gai’s stomach dropped a little. The last thing he was going to do if his best friend was hurting was leave . He instead opted to settle down on the carpet with his legs crossed, right in front of the door. “Rival? Are you okay?”
“No, I’m not . Go away.”
“Did you not hear me knocking at the front door?
“I was ignoring you.”
“Oh.”
The pair of them sat in silence for a minute as Gai weighed up his options. Kakashi was probably praying to his god that Gai would take a hint and leave, but Gai wasn’t exactly one to take unspoken cues unless absolutely necessary. He also wasn’t going to just barge in on his friend, though.
“Can I come in?”
“Are you going to go away?” Kakashi was clearly doing his best to sound pissed off, but all he really managed was sounding kind of pathetic. Gai’s chest clenched a little bit. He really wasn’t okay, was he?
“No.”
Kakashi went quiet after that, so Gai continued to sit near the door. He would sit here until Kakashi’s stand-in parents came home, if he had to. What mattered was that the boy wasn’t alone while he was unwell. At least Gai understood why he’d skipped school, now.
Then he heard Kakashi heaving. Scrambling to his feet, he immediately tried the handle to the bathroom- thankfully, it wasn’t locked. He was greeted with the sight of his friend hunched over the toilet (and the faint smell of vomit), and though he wasn’t bringing anything up, he’d clearly been there for a while now. Hurrying to kneel next to him, all Gai could really think to do was rub his back gently as he retched.
(And Kakashi’s shirt was drenched , he was pale and sweaty and miserable .)
Once the lurching subsided, the boy reached up with a shaky hand to try and flush the empty toilet, but Gai got there first. Kakashi gave him a little hmph in response, but his gratitude didn’t need to be spoken. Gai was good at reading him.
“Kakashi,” and his voice was serious as he addressed his friend (no laugh, no challenge, no preteen bravado), “what can I do to help?”
After a long pause, Kakashi finally grumbled something about going back to bed. Slipping an arm around his back and under his arms, Gai helped him to his feet. He was shaking like a frickin’ leaf, and his hands were warm and sweaty. Now that they were upright, Kakashi wrapped his closer arm over his friend’s shoulders, Gai looped his arm around his friend’s waist, and it was probably overkill but whatever support he could offer, he wanted to.
Getting Kakashi back into bed wasn’t too much of a challenge. He flopped down and immediately dragged a duvet back over himself, curling up in the middle of the mattress in his pile of blankets. He didn’t even notice Gai disappear to the kitchen, but he was back in a flash with a bowl and an open packet of plain crackers, which he simply placed at the head of the bed before sitting at the foot of it, feet tucked under him.
“Did you want me to get your facemask?”
“No. I don’t want to throw up in it.”
Fair enough.
(The fabric mask he wore was thin with elastic that looped around his ears, and was used as a constant pressure stim- if he wasn’t bothering with it, it must have been bad.)
“Do you know what’s wrong?”
“My period’s coming.”
Oh .
“I don’t think it’s supposed to do this , maybe.”
A pale hand slipped out of the nest, searching; Gai took his hand gently (and he was still shaking ), and held it as the blankets shifted. Kakashi didn’t lift his head, but a few messy, silver spikes came into view as he settled.
“Can you tell me what happened at school?” Kakashi asked quietly, and Gai happily obliged. He was pretty sure his friend dozed off about four sentences in, but he continued chatting; telling him about how one of Kurenai’s paintings was now being displayed in the school reception office, and how their teacher had let Obito read an entire two passages from the wrong book because she was impressed with how enthusiastic he’d been about it. How he’d been grouped with Genma and Ebisu for phys ed, but he’d left them in the dust. How he felt a little bad about it, but not too bad, because he’d been working hard recently.
Every so often he would hear a little noise in response, though whether it was Kakashi waking up and acknowledging his words or simply snoring, he wasn’t sure. But Kakashi never let go of his hand.
He wasn’t quite sure how long he’d been sitting there when he heard the front door opening. Giving Kakashi’s hand a little squeeze first, he got up and headed out to the hallway to see who had arrived. Akari Akimichi was a big woman with short black hair and bright orange eyeliner, and possibly the kindest smile Gai had ever seen. And Kakashi’s stand-in mother.
(“Stand-in parents” was what Kakashi called them. Chōza and Akari had been taken Kakashi in after his biological parents had passed in quick succession. Kakashi called them by their names, and while he wasn’t legally adopted , they were his legal guardians.)
“Oh, hello Gai,” she greeted him warmly, hanging her coat up by the front door and slipping her shoes off. He bowed his head to her, arms stiff at his sides. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here, though really, I should have.”
“I didn’t walk Kakashi home today,” he immediately blurted out in return, head still down. “I broke in through the open lounge window because no one was answering the door. I’m sorry, Mrs. Akimichi, I shouldn’t have done that.”
(He only called her that when he felt like he’d done something wrong. Gai very rarely did anything wrong by her standards.)
After a moment to let the information set in, she laughed and moved toward him, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. He finally raised his head. “Sweetheart, I would never have known if you hadn’t said anything. Thank you for telling me, but it’s fine, I promise. You’re always welcome here.”
The tension disappeared from his arms and he relaxed a little, nodding at her. Of course she wasn’t upset. He took a moment to feel the relief, and then moved on to the next important topic. “I broke in because Kakashi didn’t come to school today, and he didn’t answer the door. He’s been unwell all day because of his period. He’s been throwing up, but I don’t know how long for.” Concern immediately washed over Akari’s round face. “He’s asleep right now, but…”
And he hesitated, bringing his hand together to fidget. He didn’t like talking about Kakashi without him there, unless he was singing his praises. Especially not on topics that Kakashi preferred to avoid himself.
“It’s not supposed to be this bad, is it?”
“Not ideally, no.” She looked like she was about to continue, but apparently decided to spare him. “I’ll sort out a doctor’s appointment for him, then. And we’ll see how he’s feeling when he wakes up.” Clearing her throat as she headed into the lounge, she forced the concern from her face. “Anyway, were you staying the night, Gai?”
He thought for a moment. “Yes, I think I will! I would like to keep an eye on Kakashi.”
“Go give your dad a call and let him know you’re staying, then. You can help me with dinner, if you’d like.”
--
It was more often than not that Dai got up at 5 in the morning to find a familiar kid- that definitely wasn’t his- sprawled out on his couch. (Though, considering how close the boy and his own son were, could he really say Kakashi wasn’t basically his son?) And it was only increasing. He would show up at any hour of the night he pleased and let himself in with the spare key.
So he wasn’t surprised when he walked out into the lounge of his apartment already ready for work to find Kakashi curled up in the spare duvet dragged out of the hallway cupboard; while he usually slept in Gai’s room, he’d already made it very clear he wasn’t going to enter his friend’s room if he wasn’t already awake.
(The Akimichis had had a kid of their own a little over a year ago, and Kakashi had very quickly decided that small children were not his cup of tea, so to speak.)
The man shuffled his way through to the front door in the dark, taking what care he could not to wake him. Who knew when Kakashi had finally gotten to sleep?
An hour later, Gai woke up to start getting himself ready for school. He went about his morning as the sun rose, leaving the lounge curtains shut for his friend’s sake as he showered and had breakfast and made an extra set of sandwiches alongside his own.
When Kakashi slept over, Gai generally left it until the last minute to wake him up. Kakashi was a terror to get up in the mornings, but it was even worse when he was given time to wake up and potentially decide to just not go . If Gai got him up just as he was heading out the door, Kakashi generally had no choice but to haul ass and follow along.
As he was preparing for the ordeal of dragging his friend off the couch, though, he noticed just how pallid he looked. His hair was sticking to his forehead (though maybe it was the duvet he was tangled in making him too warm?) and he simply didn’t look well .
After a moment’s thought, instead of a gentle shake to the shoulder, Gai instead decided to leave a water bottle from the fridge on the side table for him in case he woke up.
Maybe, (hopefully,) he just needed to sleep off a late night.
It was a good six or so hours later when Kakashi finally did stir, head groggy from sleep and his stomach in an absolute knot. Lord above, he’d already been feeling like shit when he let himself in at 4AM, but it was nothing compared to now- he could feel the burn of bile at the back of his throat as he breathed, and the sweat down the back of his teeshirt.
The water bottle caught his eye and he reached out for it, shaky fingers fumbling with the cap. He propped himself up on an elbow to take a drink, and his lower abdomen cramped hard . The nausea spiked and his stomach lurched.
Sitting up was a bad decision, and so was taking that drink.
(Bathroom. Gotta get to the bathroom.)
He still had a bit of time before he lost it, so he set to work untangling himself from the blanket and getting himself to his feet. He felt the heavy, sticky wet in the gusset of his underwear and he groaned as he moved. (A couple of years ago he might’ve been embarrassed, or ashamed, but now he was just fucking annoyed . The blood was honestly the least of his problems.) Kakashi’s head swam the moment his torso was upright, but he still had enough balance in him to get off the couch even with the stars dancing at the edge of his vision. He was just about steady when he heard a familiar voice.
“Oh, Kakashi, are you awake? How are you doing-?”
The panic of being this distressed in front of someone else that gripped his chest just made everything else worse. He shoved past his friend’s father into the hallway and bolted to the bathroom, barely making it to the sink and ripping the fabric mask from his face before bringing up whatever he had. It was nothing but liquid, but it burned and once he had nothing else to give he wiped his mouth on his sleeve, turning the cold water tap on and just letting it run as he sank down onto the floor.
Kakashi sat there for a good few minutes, face buried into his clean sleeve as he sniffled, doing his best to will his stomach to settle down. A few times the cramp in his gut tightened, but the nausea faded slowly as he lay against the wooden cupboard.
He didn’t bother raising his head when he heard a strong knock against the wall from the hallway. Obviously, he hadn’t bothered to close the bathroom door behind him; Dai was instead opting to stay well in the hallway, probably to give him space. If he’d been in a better headspace, he’d have appreciated the gesture.
“Are you alright, Kakashi?” The man’s voice was void of any annoyance, any impatience, any frustration. There was nothing but concern, and Kakashi wasn’t sure if that made it worse. His own voice was croaky now, and a bit muggy from the little cry he’d had.
“Not really, Dai.”
“Do you mind if I come in?”
“It’s your house, Dai.”
The man finally appeared in the doorway, with an armful of Gai’s clothes and a dark blue towel. (He reached out and turned the faucet off too, luckily- Kakashi had forgotten it was even running.) Crouching down on one knee, he held them out in offer, and Kakashi accepted them with an awkward little thanks under his breath. “If you’d like to take a shower, you know where everything is. Do you mind if I throw your soiled clothes in the wash for you?”
“Go ahead, Dai.” Something deep in him wanted to say no, wanted to be stubborn and tell him to fuck off, to leave him alone, that none of this was his business. But Maito Dai was nothing but firm kindness incarnate, even moreso than his son, and he couldn’t bring himself to give into the petulance that came so easily against everyone else. “And. Thank you.”
There was a hand on his shoulder before he could protest, and Dai gave it a squeeze. “It’s no problem at all, boy. You just leave your clothes in the hamper, and you let me know if you need anything at all.”
He shut the door behind himself on his way out, finally leaving Kakashi entirely alone. For another long minute or two, Kakashi just remained there against the cupboards, tears brimming in his dark eyes and threatening to escape. He blinked them back though, and ignored the sting, and finally forced himself up. The cramps had subsided for a moment, and it would be best to take advantage of that while he could.
Doing as he was told, he peeled yesterday’s clothes off and dumped them in the washing hamper. The blood had gotten through onto his jeans, but they were dark anyway. He didn’t currently give a shit. All he cared about in that moment was dousing himself in scalding hot water so he could feel normal for ten goddamn minutes.
Kakashi washed his hair and rinsed himself as quickly as he could, nudging the water up in temperature a few times over the course of his shower. Once he was out, he made quick work of drying himself enough for underwear; he crouched down and rummaged through the cupboards to find the packet of pads he’d left here last time this happened. Gai’s underwear weren’t quite the right shape or size, but they held a pad all the same and stayed up on his hips and that’s all he needed.
The teeshirt and sweatpants he’d been given were a little too big and smelt of fresh washing powder- he ignored the flutter in his ribs when he realised his hair kind of smelt like his friend’s too, after using his shampoo.
Hormones were stupid like that.
Once he was finally dried and dressed, he dumped his towel in the hamper as well (and he contemplated fishing his mask out, but ultimately forewent it) and immediately shuffled into Gai’s room. He crawled straight into his friend’s tidily made bed, untucked the top sheet, and bundled it and the duvet around himself. It was the closest comfort to having Gai there himself.
Gai didn’t get home until almost dinner, thanks to his sports club activities. When he found the couch suspiciously best-friend-free, he knew exactly where he was; he did his best not to disturb the makeshift Hatake Nest in his bed when he snuck in to grab himself some clean clothes. By the time he was showered and dried and dressed, his father was almost finished with dinner.
“Is Kakashi still asleep?”
“Yeah, he is. Should I go wake him up?”
“No, let him sleep. Boy’s had a rough day today.” Dai wiped his hands a few times on his apron, before turning and wrapping an arm around his son’s shoulders in a hug. “But how was your day, my darling boy?”
The pair chatted together about each of their days as they ate, before settling in the lounge to watch some show or other before Dai excused himself to bed. Early starts meant early nights, of course. And with nothing else to do but homework, Gai headed back to his own room, where Kakashi (who also had homework, which Gai had brought home for him) still lay snoozing in his bed.
He woke with a start though, when Gai sat on the edge of the mattress. Kakashi’s head shot up, bleary and disoriented, taking a moment to remember exactly where he was and how he’d gotten there.
“You’re finally awake, Rival,” Gai offered playfully, flashing him a smile. Kakashi huffed, scrunching his face up and flopping back down. “Are you feeling any better?” The glower he copped over the edge of the blanket was answer enough. His smile never faltered, though. “Dinner’s in the microwave if you get hungry.”
“Thanks,” came the curt reply. Gai nodded, moving to get up and get started on his homework, but he caught a slight movement out of the corner of his eye. It was Kakashi’s hand reaching out over the blankets blindly, searching- so he met him halfway, and took his hand gently. “Give me a minute,” the boy mumbled, “and I’ll get up.”
--
“This is such bullshit .”
The man lifted his arms patiently as his boyfriend shifted himself around again , settling back down against his chest in almost exactly the same position. Kakashi was lying on top of him on his front, waist twisted with one hip settled between Gai’s thighs. (Apparently, stretching his waist like that eased the cramps a little bit. Except when it didn’t.) Once Kakashi stopped wriggling, Gai lay his arms back down around him.
“I’m not even bleeding anymore,” he continued to grumble, ignoring Gai’s little gasp as Spock backhanded Kirk over a table and clear across the room. “These stupid injections were supposed to manage the cramps and they’re only getting worse .”
He sounded fucking miserable and it made Gai’s whole chest hurt that there didn’t seem to be anything he could do. One hand drifted down and he dug his fingertips into the small of his boyfriend’s back, and Kakashi made a small noise in the back of his throat- he couldn’t tell if it was positive or not, though.
(If he didn’t say to stop, that was generally a good sign.)
“I figured maybe it was because I’m just shit at taking pills and I keep forgetting them,” Kakashi continued. “But… I don’t think I’m gonna get the shot again. Not bleeding is nice, but this isn’t worth it .”
(Those words sat heavy for both of them.)
When he was still taking the combined pill, the idea had been to simply skip the week’s worth of sympathy-bleed sugar pills to avoid his period entirely; Kakashi, however, was absolutely abysmal at actually remembering to take the damn pills no matter what habits he tried to attach it to. And that’s what these stupid injections were supposed to remedy. His periods were erratic at the best of times, and while he’d had no breakthrough bleeding over the year, the cramps associated with them were indeed getting worse.
At least they were happening at the same time every month now, so he could prepare for them. And while he had no problem expressing the dysphoria his menstrual cycle caused, it took a back seat to the pain .
Gai’s other hand found its way on top of Kakashi’s head, petting through his hair tenderly as his attention returned to the Star Trek VHS he was watching. (Dai had taped them while a marathon had aired a few years ago, and apparently the pair of them rewatched them frequently.) Kakashi lay his head down properly on his boyfriend’s chest and closed his eyes with a pleased noise, closing his eyes and focusing on the movements of Gai’s hands rather than the twist in his abdomen.
And for a while, it worked.
Until the tape finished.
He grumbled as he felt the man beneath him shift to get up. Craning his neck forward, Gai pressed a gentle kiss to the man’s pale hair with a smile.
“Did you want me to put another one on, or something else?”
“I don’t care. I’m not watching them.”
The flat reply didn’t phase him. “Alright, well, I am. So I’ll put another one on then.”
Kakashi offered absolutely no aid as Gai lifted him- fortunately, it wasn’t exactly an issue. Whatever protest Kakashi might have thought he was staging went entirely unnoticed as his boyfriend expertly slipped out from under him, and (admittedly, a little awkwardly) lowered him down to lay on the couch instead. He did his best to move Kakashi as little as possible throughout his task, and though the suffering man wouldn’t acknowledge it, he did appreciate it.
“Did you want me to make you some tea?” Kakashi glanced up at the man standing over him and narrowed his eyes for a moment as he thought.
“.... yes, please.”
It really didn’t take him long. Ten minutes tops; swapping the tape in the VHS over to another set of recorded Star Trek episodes, letting the jug boil, and making Kakashi a cup of tea (milk, no sugar, bag left in). While he waited for it to steep, he retrieved one of the old rubber hot water bottles his father had tucked away in one of the cupboards, and filled that too. Rummaging through the pantry, he found half a block of chocolate (70%- it might be enough), and took that back with him as well.
There were definitely things he could have made for his boyfriend that he absolutely would have preferred, but they took time and all Gai wanted to do was get back to Kakashi’s side and continue caring for him.
Kakashi didn’t acknowledge him as he returned, putting the cup of tea and the chocolate on the side table, and hitting play on the VHS. Then he disappeared again, just for a moment. He also did his best not to acknowledge it when he was offered the hot water bottle, wrapped in a clean tea towel- but he grunted, taking it with shaky hands and tucking it in firmly against his lower belly. Then Gai settled himself down on the ground in front of the couch, legs folded under him.
When Gai leaned back against the couch cushion and smiled at him, Kakashi huffed through his facemask and rolled his eyes.
“Thanks for not making me move,” he grumbled, voice barely audible over the introductory Star Trek music. His wonderful boyfriend just leaned in, pressing a kiss near his eyebrow.
“You looked like you’d managed to get some kind of comfy, I wouldn’t dream of asking you to shift.”
“You’re going to make me throw up before my period does.”
Gai ignored him, fiddling with a little foil tray. Ugh . “Take them,” he said plainly, offering Kakashi the two pressed pills he’d popped out of the tray, and though his words were simple, they didn’t really leave any room for argument. As soon as he’d grabbed the pills, Gai was offering him the cup of tea.
“Gimme a minute, man,” he grunted- though if he wasn’t in so much pain he might have laughed a little bit. No matter how horrid he was feeling, Gai’s eagerness to help always managed to make him feel just a tad softer. He shifted to lie on his back, shoulders propped up a little by the low arm of the couch as he stretched out, and finally took the offered mug that hadn’t moved.
(Whether there was just too much other stimuli ( the cramps, the nausea, the clothes against his skin, the noise from the video- ) for him to notice, or whether Gai was actually getting better at making tea for him, he couldn’t be sure. Kakashi was a picky bastard. But it wasn’t too milky and it definitely wasn’t too weak, and something about that made his heart clench .)
(Hormones were weird like that.)
No sooner had he pulled his mask down and taken both naproxen, he was being offered something else-
“I’m not really a fan of chocolate,” he declined quietly, but his boyfriend didn’t withdraw it. He simply broke a line off and offered that alone instead. “It’s too sweet for me.”
“I know, ‘Kashi, but- it’s easy to eat, and it might make you feel better. This one’s too bitter for dad, he won’t eat it- so I thought maybe, it would be alright? I don’t like letting you take those painkillers on an empty stomach.”
Another pang as Kakashi took the line of chocolate. He broke off one of the four squares and popped it in his mouth, and it was almost like he could feel Gai relax beside him. And he was right, it was a dark enough blend that it didn’t turn his stomach.
Boyfriend appeased, Kakashi finished the rest of the chocolate and sipped on his tea while Gai settled back down against the couch and finished watching his video. There were maybe four episodes taped to each video cassette, and by the time this tape had finished it was well into bedtime and Kakashi was dozing. He barely reacted when Gai got up and turned off the tv, but he startled when he felt a hand brush his hair back from his face.
“Did you want me to leave you here on the couch,” and Gai’s voice was soft, “or did you want to come to bed?”
“I don’t want your dad to have to worry about waking me up on his way out in the morning,” Kakashi mumbled back, not bothering to open his eyes. “Take me with you.”
Initially, he’d intended for a hand up, maybe a short cuddle where he could lean on his partner for a minute before they headed off to bed. But then he felt an arm slip under his knees, and the other around his back under his arms, and he was hoisted straight up off the couch. Gai had always been strong, but it was only recently he’d started getting confident enough to lift and carry Kakashi entirely on his own.
One arm moved down to keep the luke-warm water bottle in place, and the other snaked up to lay secure around Gai’s neck. He didn’t have the energy to complain about the jostling, though; he simply hung in his boyfriend’s arms as he was carried to bed.
As much as Gai would have liked to tuck Kakashi in, he simply did not have enough arms. So he left Kakashi to undress himself and crawl into bed, while he disappeared to refill the hot water bottle and turn everything else in the apartment off.
By the time he returned, Kakashi had stripped down to the boxers over his underwear and settled himself comfortably, directly in the middle of the bed . Gai handed him the hot water bottle without comment, undressing himself and turning off the light.
“I take it you’re not going to class tomorrow?” It didn’t take much effort to scoop Kakashi up again and shift him over. Kakashi grumbled in response, rolling over onto his side and curling up to settle the warm bottle between his belly and his thighs. “Did you want me to wake you up when I leave?”
“Yes.” Kakashi relaxed as he felt his boyfriend slip under the covers behind him, curling around him and tucking his knees under Kakashi’s thighs. One arm burrowed its way under Kakashi’s head, and the other laid over his waist as lightly as possible, with Gai’s palm laid flat on the cool skin of Kakashi’s knee. “How are you always so fucking warm?”
“Human heater,” came the simple response, paired with a lighthearted chuckle. Kakashi huffed.
“Maybe I should be the big spoon, I wouldn’t even need the hot water bottle then.”
“I think that’s called a jetpack.”
--
Thank the Lord he had a key.
Chōza let himself into the third floor apartment as soon as he reached the door, not bothering to knock or announce himself. Kakashi had called him at work, breath hitching and voice shaking despite the obvious efforts not to. Even under regular circumstances Chōza would have swung by on the sheer merit of his (older) son calling out of the blue; Kakashi had always been a little distant to everyone , and his reaching out was a serious matter. But with the way he’d clearly been trying not to cry when he’d picked up the phonecall, the father had dropped everything and come straight over.
The apartment wasn’t very big, so it didn’t take long to find him. (He heard him before he saw him,- a pained, pitchy whine through his nose, muffled a little by his customary facemask.) Kakashi was in the kitchen, curled up tight with his forehead resting on his knees. Dropping to a knee next to him, Chōza hesitantly reached out and laid a gentle hand on his son’s back.
Normally, Kakashi flinched a little at any touch he wasn’t initiating himself, but he barely reacted beyond a sharp breath. He was shaking and sweaty and sniffling, arms crossed tight over his belly as he knelt on the lino.
“What do you need me to do?”
The question was quiet, but firm. He needed an answer, and he needed it in words . There was panic bubbling up in the large man’s chest, but he swallowed it as he waited. Kakashi took a breath, not bothering to attempt to raise his head.
“I don’t know,” he answered, voice high and strained. “I don’t know. It hurts .”
“Is this a normal hurt?”
“ Yes , it’s just... really fucking bad.”
“Where do you keep your painkillers, boy?”
“Above the microwave.” A choked little sob broke through in his voice as Chōza got back to his feet and started his search. There was a little lidless tupperware container sitting on top of the microwave, filled with little boxes and bottles of pills, among loose plasters and other generic first-aid supplies. One of the boxes with Kakashi’s name on it listed [ TRAMADOL: MAX 6 DAILY ] on the prescription- that one, the man recognised. “Get me two.”
(It wasn’t often Kakashi took pain medication without whinging, or having to be coaxed or coerced into it.)
(But it also wasn’t often that Kakashi called Chōza out of nowhere, and even less so in tears.)
“Have you taken any already?”
“ No , no I haven’t, I- I thought I could hack it.”
Popping two yellow-green capsules out of the foil tray, Chōza took the time to fill him a glass of water as well before handing them over to make sure he didn’t take them dry. Only then did he get back down on his knees, glass on the floor as he used one hand to gently help ease him upright.
They were both quiet as Kakashi tugged his mask under his chin, hands shaking as he took both capsules at once and drained the glass in one go. When Kakashi held one arm out weakly Chōza obliged him immediately, wrapping him up in a gentle hug and breaking the last of the dam that had been doing its best to hold. Sobbing into his shoulder, all Kakashi was really aware of for a few moments was the arms around him and the dagger-like pain in his gut. Chōza’s voice broke him out of it, though.
“Have you managed to eat anything today?”
He nodded against the man’s shoulder. “Couldn’t keep it down though.”
“I’m going to bring you home with me, alright?” It ended in a question, but the sound of the older man’s voice didn’t leave any room for discussion. His words were still gentle, still kind, but he was already shifting to help Kakashi up. Even if he’d wanted to fight, he didn’t have it in him- Kakashi just held tight as he was lifted to his feet.
(What Chōza wanted to do was take Kakashi straight to the emergency department, but distressing his son further wasn’t going to help. The easiest compromise was to take him home and keep an eye on him until it eased up, or Akari managed to convince him to go.)
“Does Gai know what’s going on?” Kakashi gave a noncommittal shrug of his shoulders, reaching up to pull his mask back on. “Alright. I’ll give him a call when we get home,” he continued, soft and deliberate, “and let him know where you are and what’s going on..”
“Okay,” came the flat reply.
It didn’t take much work to get him out to the car- once he got started, Kakashi was mostly able to walk on his own, even if he seemed a bit floaty. He did grab Chōza’s hand when the elevator started moving, but neither commented on it. And he spent most of the drive curled up on the passenger’s seat, forehead back against his knees.
As soon as they were home, Kakashi made it as far as the living room couch, collapsing on the cushions and crashing hard .
By the time he woke again, the sun had set. Fortunately, it wasn’t the pain that had woken him (though it was very much still there ); he’d been roused just by the sounds of a house being lived in . Whenever he was home without Gai, the apartment was silent- he didn’t bother watching tv most of the time, and unnecessary noise made it difficult for him to focus on his study. But here, he could hear people in other rooms, and it was far more comforting than he really wanted to admit.
(As a child, not long after he’d initially come to stay with the Akimichis, his insomnia had been debilitating , and one of the only things that could put him at ease enough to sleep was his new stand-in mother’s footsteps past his room as she got ready for work at 6 in the morning.)
(A solid reminder that other people were still there.)
“Oh! You’re awake!”
His attention was caught by a familiar voice as he heard someone get off the armchair. His baby brother was almost nine- all freckles and reddy-brown curls and bright smiles and endless kindness. And definitely much easier to be around the older he got.
(Two trans sons. What were the chances, huh? At least it would maybe make the inevitable bumps in the road a little smoother for Chōji.)
Kakashi dragged himself somewhat upright, folding his legs to make room for the kid to sit next to him on the couch. Chōji waited though, until Kakashi motioned with his hand and beckoned him. “Are you feeling okay,” he asked as he sat next to him, eyes never leaving the man’s face, “or are you still sore?”
“Still sore,” he mumbled back, rubbing a hand over his face. “But I’ll manage.” He stopped mid action, frowning. “Where’s my mask-?”
“Mama took it off you when you were sleeping, she didn’t want you to suffocate and die,” Chōji offered plainly. “I can go get it for you if you want?”
“No, it’s okay. I’ll live.”
“Mama said we’re going to the doctor tomorrow,” the child continued, letting his legs swing and bumping his heels against the front of the couch. “I got home and you were sleeping here after Dad picked you up, and when Mama got home she called the doctors, so we’re taking you to the doctors tomorrow.” Kakashi just nodded quietly.
Even if he’d wanted to argue, Kakashi couldn’t. Dismissing the concerns of a single member of his family came naturally, but there was nothing he could do against all three of them. Especially since they were right . Testosterone hadn’t stopped his periods (and he was aware that for some people on the same hormone therapy, that was just a reality- irritating , but not a cause for alarm), but it did seem to have reined them in a bit.
This pain was different. It was worse- and that was saying something .
“Do you want to watch Scooby Doo with me?”
Kakashi wasn’t sure if Chōji was aware of the kind-of awkward silence that had been settling, or whether it was just part of the stream of consciousness that was part-and-parcel of interacting with him. But he gave his brother a little smile and another nod, sinking down to rest against the arm of the couch. He would’ve liked to bring his knees back up to his chest, but he didn’t want to risk spiking the pain again by moving too much.
“Yeah, okay.”
“Just tell me if you need anything,” the kid offered, hopping up to turn on the lounge tv and go through the Scooby Doo tapes they kept in the cabinet beneath it. Laying his head down on his arm, he just watched fondly and settled in. He wasn’t going anywhere for the rest of the night.
He’d dozed off again an episode and a half in.
--
“Is there anything I can do?”
Kakashi looked miserable , even in the dim light of their lounge. All of the lights in their flat were off, leaving everything bathed in the eerie blue light from the tv screen. The two rescues they currently cared for- a fuckoff huge black mastiff and his grouchy pug companion- were stretched out quietly together on the equally huge padded mat of a dog bed shoved up against the wall next to the tv cabinet, snoozing.
Bundled up on the couch together, the pair of them were attempting to watch a silly action flick. (It was Gai’s turn to choose the movie, but he always chose a few and decided together with Kakashi what their movie of the night would be; of tonight’s selection, Con Air was the only movie Kakashi hadn’t immediately veto’d the moment he saw the cover.) But Kakashi kept shifting and fidgeting, and while that in and of itself wasn’t an issue for his boyfriend, the concern it caused was .
“No,” he grumbled back, adjusting himself again. One hand came up to tenderly smooth his hair down, and he let out a shaky sigh. At least headpets were soothing- a good stim, and a show of love. “I just can’t get comfortable. It hurts, and the meds haven’t kicked in yet. If it’s another cyst, I’m going to rip my ovaries out barehanded.”
“I know, love.”
Earlier, Kakashi had been at his parents’ place with a friend from primary school he’d kept in touch with. The pain had started off bearable, and he’d figured his period was just due again and it was a warning cramp- but about halfway through dinner the pain had spiked, and Kakashi’d had to bail. Everyone was more than understanding, but that didn’t mean his pride wasn’t wounded.
The last cyst he’d had was a couple of years ago now; it’d ruptured and he remembered the pain as clear as the horrible Thousand Volt Ghost closeup in his little brother’s cartoon. And while the rupture itself only needed to be treated with pain medication, it had prompted them to go in there and have a dig around, as it were.
(That’s when they found all the extra tissue.)
(It was cleared out at the time, but endometriosis wasn’t known to give a fuck about that, and it was probably back with a vengeance.)
“Did you have a nice time while it lasted, at least?”
Gai had paused the movie while he paid proper attention to his love, thumb petting through his hair gently. Bringing up the arm that wasn’t trapped between them, Kakashi snaked it around his boyfriend’s back in a half-assed addition to the cuddle.
“Yeah. The kid had a couple of friends over so he wasn’t really my problem, that was nice. Hanging out with them makes him really happy, it was good to see,” the man recounted, closing his eyes. “It was just a really nice night, at least until I had to ask Rin to drop me home.” He huffed quietly against his facemask, before tilting his head upward. “Can you get me a hot water bottle?”
“Of course!”
Gai did his best to untangle himself as gently as possible, slipping out from under his boyfriend and pausing to press a kiss to his forehead.
“Did you want me to hit play on the movie, or do you mind waiting until I return?”
“I don’t want to watch it without you.” Kakashi waved his hand, stretching out on the couch slowly. “I’m sure this frame of John Cusack will make perfect company until you’re done. He is so goddamn pretty in this film, it’s kind of disgusting.”
Gai simply smiled at him and kissed his hair again, before disappearing out to the kitchen. The sound of their dogs snoring and Gai being busy in the kitchen were soothing too- at least, until he felt the unwelcome clench in his stomach.
Oh no. Fuck.
He was barely aware of the fright he must have given his puppies as he scrambled to his feet, ignoring the sharp pain in his gut as he hurried past the kitchen and to the bathroom. He was shaking again, like he was when he’d arrived home, knuckles burning white as he dry-heaved over the toilet bowl. And he knelt there for a good few minutes.
Ultimately, though, he sank back to sit on his ankles once it was clear he wasn’t going to bring anything up. Bending one arm to rest his head in the crook of his elbow, the man just stayed there for a few minutes until he was found.
First it was Pakkun, his little nails clicking against the bathroom tile as he trotted in to sit next to his owner. Kakashi reached out with a shaky hand and gave him a gentle pat on the head. (Pakkun wasn’t a friendly dog, not by any means. But he made his love known with things like ‘acknowledging Kakashi’s existence occasionally’.) Gai wasn’t far behind.
(One of the things Kakashi appreciated dearly was that Gai gave him no unnecessary pity. No worried little sighs, no concerned clicks of his tongue. If he was worried, he said that, and asked what he could do to help.)
“I knew you could be fickle, Kakashi, but I think this was an unfairly strong reaction to Mr. Cusack, even for you.”
“Oh fuck off .”
Gai laughed, warm and deep, and it warmed Kakashi’s chest- a much nicer sensation to focus on than the sharp ache in his abdomen. “Did you need some help up, love?”
Kakashi grunted, and gave a short nod when that didn’t seem to be affirmation enough. A warm arm slipped around behind his back as Gai crouched next to him, and with the pug scooped up securely under his other arm, both men slowly returned to their feet.
“Did you want me to take you to bed, or would you like to finish watching the film?”
“Film. I want to watch the movie with you.”
“Alright, dearest.”
Gai cooed to the pug as they made their way back to the living room, thanking him for being such a good boy and checking in on his dad. Pakkun gave him a snort and licked his own nose in response. Sliding his hand down to Kakashi’s waist just for a moment, he very gently placed the small dog back down on the floor. Duty complete, Pakkun returned to the shared dog bed, plopping himself down right next to Bull, with his back to the couch.
It didn’t take long for the pair of them to get settled again, Kakashi lying on top of him with his back to his boyfriend’s chest. He preferred lying face to face, but this position did make it easier to hold the hot water bottle to his belly, which was the entire point . He wasn’t going to admit it though.
Finally hitting play on the movie again, Gai laid one arm around the front of his partner’s shoulders and brought the other up to twirl his pale hair with his fingertips. It was almost as good as petting his hair- he could feel it in the way Kakashi’s back relaxed the moment he started.
“I’m calling out for both of us tomorrow, alright?”
(Gai was studying for his teaching license, while Kakashi was finishing a year of photography study- but the pair of them were technically on the same campus.)
“You don’t have to do that-”
“I know I don’t have to,” Gai cut him off gently, craning his neck forward to press a kiss to his boyfriend’s head. Kakashi heaved a sigh, but it was clear he was already relenting. “But I want to. I want to take care of you. We can even spend the day on the couch as we are right now, watch movies or something-”
“ I get to choose the movies this time?”
“Of course.”
Kakashi huffed, grabbing the hand on his shoulder and lifting it slightly to press a kiss to Gai’s thumb. Gai made a pleased noise in return, giving him another kiss on the back of his head.
“I love you, Gai.”
“I love you too, sweetheart.”