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The queen’s army was a dark, dreary place of work. Rui had never been passionate about their goals, nor did he particularly care for the glory of fighting; rather, it was all he’d ever known how to do . After the grim legacy of becoming one of Her Majesty’s many captains was passed down to him, he’d taken on the position as something of a second life. He would show up, do the deed, and return home to his own life, one full of magic and brimming with discovery, delight and wonder at his very fingertips. Although destined to remain confined within his living space, never to see the light of day, he cherished those moments alone while he could, with only his wyvern for company.
It feels surreal now, to wake up in a place that isn’t a dusty cell of a room, with sunlight streaming in through the cracks where the tent’s flaps didn’t quite close over. He sits up, rubbing at his eyes, and goes to reach for his armour where it rests by his bedroll. He feels naked without it, especially after all those years serving the villains above him. You always had to be prepared, in there, a dagger on your hip ready to flash steel at any given moment. But not here.
Here, the breeze floats in calmly, and it’s warm outside. He can hear the clattering of a few people, preparing food early or getting in some morning practise before breakfast. People that now consider him an ally, despite his recent addition to their ranks. What a strange thought indeed.
He straps on his armour, leaving off the outermost layer (it’s warm, after all) and stepping out into the day. Being so early still, there’s just a handful awake in their camp so far. The quiet one with the deep purple hair is sharpening a knife by the fire in solitude. The gentle brunette is tending to the mounts, including his own wyvern, looking happier than he’s ever seen it. The redhead with the earrings is sparring with a taller boy, both seemingly very focused on their combat. He doesn’t know all their names yet, still feeling like an outsider, but he’d like to. The lord of a fallen house and the group’s leader, Ichika, is up and awake too, conversing with one of her friends; that friend being Tsukasa, of course.
Rui’s chest tightens seeing him, and a certain giddiness bubbles up inside him until he can’t hold back a smile. He doesn’t know what it is about him, but even just the sight of the falcon knight, no matter how mundane a task he was performing, never failed to endear Rui to him. In all his staring, he startles in surprise when the object of his affection’s attention turns to Rui as well.
“Rui!” says Tsukasa, greeting him with a wide, sunny smile. He’s warm enough to rival the sun’s light, and twice as bright. Rui watches him bid farewell to Ichika before coming up to see him. “Good to see you today.”
He says that every morning, and it always makes Rui feel special. “Good morning, my lord.” he replies, unable and unwilling to let his smile drop for even a moment in the boy’s presence. “Any grand plans for today?”
“Strategy meeting in the evening, but aside from that....” He taps his chin. “If you wouldn’t mind, could you accompany me somewhere later on?”
Rui smiles sweetly. “Of course, darling.” His response is instantaneous, not even pausing to consider his options or ask where it is they’re going. “Whatever you need.”
The lord’s cheeks flush red at the pet name, just as they do every time. Rui can’t help it; he loves to see him flustered. “Y-Yes, well, excellent! I’ll come and get you after breakfast.”
He leaves abruptly, his cape swishing behind him, but Rui continues to smile seeing the red on the tips of his ears. He chuckles to himself, and makes to find something good to eat before their rendezvous.
As he eats his apple and oats, he can hardly keep his mind off of Tsukasa and his brilliance. He’d been taken with the lord at first sight, of course, but in the short time he’s been with him he’s learned so much more. Such as the fact that his loud, booming voice was not reserved for the battlefield alone, that he harboured a deathly fear of insects, and that he had a knack for caring, never more so than when it came to his dear younger sister. His selflessness showed in other, smaller ways too; he was always the last to bed, checking on every tent before he retired, and he often volunteered to be the one on cooking duty when he was not otherwise preoccupied. And there are smaller things, too, like how his laugh is warm like honey milk, comforting you from the inside out; how captivating his eyes are in the light of the campfire, turning the gold rich and even more dazzling than before.
He knows that the shock of finding such a brilliant character after so long surrounded by the most dull husks of men is likely playing a factor into his lovesickness. But infatuation though it may be, he cannot deny the sheer effect Tsukasa has on him. He wants to be near him, to drink in whatever he can learn about him, to prove useful to him more than anything else. But he also knows that it’s hopeless to pursue him, their statuses and reputations being so wildly out of step with each other. So he strays no further than teasing, toeing the line while knowing Tsukasa is outwith his reach, something to pine after and no more.
He finishes his meal in solitude.
The place Tsukasa had asked him to accompany him to turned out to be a large clearing, a few dozen paces into the woods bordering their camp. A series of training dummies stand around the edges, and the place is empty apart from them. Rui watches as Tsukasa turns to him and gestures to the open space, a proud look about him.
“Behold, Rui!” he says, his eyes shining. “This is where we will begin our joint training!”
Rui blinks. “Our… joint training?” As much as he’s intrigued by the notion, a subtle worry begins to nag at him.
“You with your magic, and myself with my sword. Who will come out on top?” The lord laughs, bright and loud.
“I… I see.” His stomach begins to sink. “Are you… sure, my lord?”
Tsukasa tilts his head at him, like a confused puppy. “Why wouldn’t I be? You want to become a better fighter, don’t you?”
He swallows, his mouth feeling very dry. “Tsukasa, I’m…”
He can’t bring himself to speak of it. Of all the training he endured under the dark queen’s rule, the countless attempts to beat his sense of empathy out of him until he simply learned to subdue it. Never once had he held a weapon in his hand and been shown how to disarm, to disable, or render unconscious. No, only which patch of soft flesh to strike to elicit the most pain, the most suffering, the swiftest death possible.
He looks down at his hands, and back up at Tsukasa. He doesn’t want to hurt him. No, he can’t hurt him, could never bring himself to cause him harm. But would he not have, had Ichika not reached out to him to bring him to her side? He imagines a future where the sun has been extinguished, and his blood is on Rui’s hands. How that future could still be a possibility, with Tsukasa essentially exposing his bare neck, putting the knife in Rui’s hand and pressing its blade to his throat. All it would take is one wrong move, one window of opportunity, and his existence would wink out like a light.
Rui trembles under the weight of the offer. He would never hurt Tsukasa, nor any of the others, but the years of hard training and muscle memory don’t know that. He’s terrified of what he could do if he loses focus for even just a moment.
And yet still, Tsukasa looks at him innocently, asking what’s wrong.
“Isn’t this far too dangerous?” Rui asks, attempting to mask his trembling voice. “I don’t think you know what you’re asking. I’ve only been your ally for a matter of weeks. Don’t you think I could’ve been biding my time, waiting for a chance like this to take your life?” His throat feels tight, forcing the words out.
He waits for Tsukasa’s response, the lord’s expression having remained unchanged throughout Rui’s outburst. He clenches his fists, so tight his knuckles turn white. Leave me while you can .
Finally, Tsukasa folds his arms, looking back at Rui without a trace of concern. “No.” he says simply.
“...No?” he whispers.
“I don’t think you’re going to kill me, Rui. I know you aren’t, and that’s never once been your intention.”
“You can’t say for sure that--”
“Rui.”
The force with which he speaks stuns Rui into silence. But his stern expression softens to a smile, the same smile that melts Rui’s heart every time he sees it. “You’re my ally now, and my friend. I will never cast doubt on a friend, no matter their background.” His eyebrows narrow, almost challenging him. “I’ll promise to make you stronger, if you’ll do the same for me.”
Ah .
He has to work to suppress the gasp he so badly wants to let out. His heart begins a new pace, not one of fear, but something else entirely, something new and full of hope. “...I promise.” he says, a genuine, heartfelt smile gracing his lips. “You have my word.”
The grin Tsukasa gives him in response is greater than any gift he’s ever received. “And you have mine.” he swears, and holds out his hand.
Sunrise breaks through the trees and paints Tsukasa a bright, golden silhouette, and for a fleeting second, Rui believes that fate truly exists, that he was always meant to meet him, born for it. Real or not, the red string draws him in, and he takes his outstretched hand with his own.
He really likes Tsukasa. Everything from his beauty, his golden locks and perfect features, to his abundance of inner tenderness, along with all his little oddities and flairs. He likes him so much, more than anyone he’s ever met before.
But in this moment, he feels himself beginning to fall truly, helplessly in love .
Perhaps exiling himself on a whim was the best decision he’s ever made.