Work Text:
Tommy was a clingy motherfucker and he knew it. He loved to have his friends surrounding him and having their attention on him. Maybe it was because he was an only child with extremely busy parents. Or maybe it was because he just drank a fuck ton of loving his friends juice.
Regardless of the actual reasons Tommy was still undeniably a clingy bastard.
And after being on this rock floating in space for seventeen years Tommy learned how to curb his clinginess. How to stop himself from annoying the people he loves before they leave him.
Okay he may also has a tiny bit of abandonment issues to but that’s not fucking important.
The point is despite the frequent “clingyinnit” comments Tommy was quite good at not being too clingy.
He learned how to bury the urges he felt to hit up his friends and have their attention on him. To not overstay his welcome.
If you wanted Tommy’s option he would have to say he did quite a good fucking job holding himself back.
It was just so unfortunate that the closer he grew to Wilbur the more Tommy wanted him to stay.
1:
It was on stream somewhat early in their relationship when Tommy had to hold himself back from pleading and whining to Wilbur to try and get him to stay.
“Aww you’re going Wil?,” Tommy said with a slight frown.
Wilbur only chuckled. “I promised to do a Geoguesser stream with Quackity child.”
“But I’m better than Geoguesser,” Tommy pointed out.
Wilbur snorted and let out a fond exhale. “Everybody’s better than Geoguesser,” he pointed out. “We love the game despite how laggy it is though.”
“So this is it,” Tommy sighed. “You’re leaving me for Quackity.”
Wilbur threw his head back and laughed as he hit his desk. Once he got over his laughter he snickered. “I can’t spend all my time with you Tommy. Besides, I think only having a child for company would be quite bad for my social skills.”
Tommy tried to push down the irritational hurt he felt. “Said child that you admitted is your best friend on stream. Hmm? Caught in 4K soot boy,” Tommy quipped deflecting.
Wilbur merely chuckled again. “True true.” He let out a sigh. “But seriously I have to go toms.”
Tommy gripped his knee tightly as he refused to let his disappointment show on his face. At least bullying was good for one thing as it taught him how to control his facial expressions.
“So eager to leave me,” Tommy sighed dramatically. “Fine fine. Go get lost in the fucking- Netherlands or something. I’ll be here when you come crawling back.”
Wilbur laughed again and Tommy could only let a small smile rest on his lips as he heard him hit his desk again. “See you soon child,” Wilbur said in a fond voice. “See you soon child’s chat.”
Tommy glanced and sighed as they were all spamming variations of bye Wilbur and Nooo Wilbur and rip our crimeboys content. “You just broke my chat dickhead. I take it back. Fuck off.”
Wilbur only snickered one final time. “Alright alright I’m leaving. Bye toms.”
And with that Wilbur left the call. Tommy didn’t want to stream anymore so he absentmindedly said goodbye to his viewers before sending them Wilbur’s way and ending the stream.
Tommy buried his head in his hands and sighed once the camera stopped recording.
Fuck.
2:
They were chatting late at night when Tommy felt the urge to plead for Wilbur to stay reappear. It had been a long day and Tommy’s nerves were on fire. Wilbur’s voice and presence soothed them however.
Not that Tommy would ever admit that outloud.
Wilbur was just fucking around with his guitar and humming random bits. “- okay so that one fucking sucks,” Wilbur mused as he finsihed another random chord progression.
Tommy still wasn’t over it. How he had Wilbur fucking Soot playing him guitar over discord as he showed off possible new songs.
It was just so surreal.
“Shut up Wilbur,” Tommy scoffed. “Everything you write fucking slaps. Don’t pretend otherwise.”
Wilbur snorted as he strummed another random chord progression. “Everything?,” he asked in a wondering tone.
Tommy wasn’t one to back down so he hummed. “Fucking everything big dubs.”
“How about this?,” is all Wilbur said before he played the most ugly sounding tune in history.
Tommy faltered as his need to be honest and his constant need to praise Wilbur collided. “That was- well it was certainly interesting,” is all Tommy could offer once Wilbur stopped playing.
Wilbur cackled and Tommy watched as Wilbur leaned over his guitar to slap his desk. “Thanks toms,” he wheezed.
“I’m your number one fan I don’t know what you expected,” Tommy dryly pointed out.
Wilbur had a soft look on his face that made Tommy’s heart ache. If Tommy squinted he could see Wilbur had this gooey fond look in his eyes. Tommy felt his chest throb at how much he didn’t want this to end. How much he wanted Wilbur to stay and never leave.
“Yeah yeah big fucking deal,” Tommy deflected. “This is old news, big dubs. Now! How about you play me soft boy.”
Wilbur threw his head back and laughed abruptly. “Fine gremlin,” he sighed as he began to play the song with a smile.
Tommy watched him as he slowly exhaled and pushed the small amount of grief he felt down. Wilbur wasn’t gone yet, he was still here. Tommy wouldn't beg Wilbur to stay.
Tommy would never allow himself to become a burden to Wilbur.
Despite how much it pained him to imagine letting him go.
3:
Whoever came up with the phrases “if you love someone let them go” and “it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all” needs to be decked.
Because honestly? That was straight up bullshit.
Tommy was so fucking honored to be this close to Wilbur at all. And the idea that it was better to have this and lose this?
Pure and utter bullshit.
Curse Wilbur Soot for being such an amazing human being and curse himself for getting so attached to him.
Tommy could have lived his entire life without knowing he would be missing this. But here he was in tears over stupid fucking memes that Wilbur sent him that he claimed “reminded him of the teen.”
Life without Wilbur wasn’t something Tommy could picture. It just wasn’t possible.
And Tommy knew that when Wilbur eventually chose to leave, because why would he want to stay, he would be shattered.
But if leaving made Wilbur happy he would let him go. It would fucking hurt like a bitch yeah but Wilbur was more important than his feelings.
Okay maybe the person who made that saying was half right.
Because Tommy would rather die than force Wilbur to do something he wouldn’t want to do. Even if it hurt him.
Tommy shuddered as he sent a few random cursed memes to send back. All he could do was keep moving forward. Cherish the moments he had with Wilbur before he decided to leave.
He blinked as he got another message from Wilbur.
Wilby Scoot: I’m heading to bed to try and fix my sleep schedule
Wilby Scoot: night toms <3
Tommy’s heart throbbed and he typed his reply with shaky fingers.
Tom Tom: night wil <3
Tommy looked at the message and sighed heavily.
Fuck.
He was going to miss this.
4:
After Tommy’s late night cry session he had a better handle on his emotions. Maybe it was because he cried so much that he felt numb but regardless he was more in control.
So when Wilbur was ranting to him, Phil, and Techno in a call about how Twitter is pure shit and how Tommy deserves better. Tommy only felt a small amount of pain and grief.
Tommy stayed silent as his heart hurt and as he let their voices wash over them. Of course he wasn't allowed to stay silent for long though.
“You good kid? You’re pretty quiet,” Techno pointed out interrupting Wilbur.
Tommy blinked as Wilbur paused his rant and turned his full attention to Tommy. “Toms? You’re not too upset are you? I know Twitter is fucking awful and all but-,”
Tommy cut Wilbur off. “I’m good. I’m a bit tired because of- ya know everything but I’m okay. I think I’m gonna delete Twitter for a bit. It’s just- too much ya know?”
“Yeah that’s fair mate,” Phil hummed. “But just know that they’re all wrong about you okay?”
“Thanks Phil,” Tommy sighed.
“You’re incredible Tommy and don’t let any asshole online tell you otherwise,” Wilbur said in a firm, sincere voice. “They don’t know shit about you. So just ignore them. They’ll never be half as wonderful as you.”
Tommy blinked a bit speechless as his eyes filled with tears. He was so fucking glad they didn’t have their cameras on.
“What Wilbur said,” Techno huffed in an amused tone. “You’re a good kid. They don’t know shit.”
“Thanks,” was all Tommy could offer.
“I may not be as soft and touchy feely as Wilbur but we care about you,” Techno finished.
Tommy tried not to let out a sob in response. “Technosoft,” he managed to choke out.
Phil and Wilbur laughed at his remark as Techno snorted.
“But yeah- thank you guys,” Tommy said before they could say any more heart melting shit. He doesn’t know if he could handle it. “I’m gonna go and tweet that I’m taking a break from Twitter before deleting the app. Talk to you guys later!”
“Bye mate!”
“See ya later child.”
“I’ll text you later toms.”
Tommy exited the call and placed his forehead on the desk with a wet inhale.
Wilbur won’t always be there to defend him. Tommy shouldn’t get used to it. And Tommy knows he’s too anxious to fend off the haters by himself. So the only thing to do was remove part of the problem.
Tommy wordlessly sat up and tweeted out a quick “I’m taking a quick break from the bird app. Don’t worry I’ll probably be back soon. See you fuckers later.”
Tommy then deleted the app and muted discord before he buried his head in his hands.
This was starting to get too much.
5:
It was after the paintball vlog that Tommy felt the now aching urge to beg Wilbur to stay.
Wilbur floundered a bit on how to comfort him and was a bit harsh before he apologized abruptly.
Tommy wiped his face and waved him off. “It’s all good dubs,” Tommy sighed. “I just have a shit pain tolerance.”
Wilbur made a noise in the back of throat. “Still I didn’t mean to be a dick to you toms.”
“It’s fine Wil,” Tommy assured as he stood up.
Wilbur hissed as he saw how many bruises were left behind on Tommy’s skin. “What the actual fuck,” Wilbur breathed as he gently held Tommy’s arm out.
Tommy snorted. “I told you I have a low pain tolerance. Plus my skin is fucking sensitive so when you add the two together it’s not exactly a great time.”
Wilbur gently let go of Tommy’s arm and squeezed Tommy’s shoulder. “Still I’m so fucking sorry man.”
Tommy groaned before he leaned forward and rested his head on Wilbur’s shoulder. His heart both rejoiced and ached at the contact. “Oh shut up,” Tommy said in a tired but fond voice. “Stop apologizing. It’s seriously okay Wilbur. No worries big man.”
Wilbur grumbled a bit as he cupped the back of Tommy’s neck gently. He rubbed light circles into the skin there. “It isn’t but I’ll try.”
Tommy wanted to cry right then and there. With Wilbur holding him so close after months of overthinking everything. “Stay” he wanted to beg. “Don’t leave me please.”
“We’ll get you ice or something,” Wilbur mused out loud, ignorant to Tommy’s thoughts. “Maybe after we go eat something.”
Tommy was more than happy to stay in Wilbur’s embrace. His presence and touch made the aching from bruises and in his heart fade. But he knew they couldn’t stay there forever. He started to pull back and something inside him cracked as Wilbur made a displeased noise.
“Come on big man,” Tommy said lightly. “Let’s go back to the others. Time for food and ice. Don’t act like you haven’t been rubbing the left side of your chest.”
Wilbur huffed at being called out as they made their way over to their friends. Tommy was more than happy to stand next to Tubbo since he knew his friend wasn’t the touchiest and Tommy was way too sensitive at the moment.
They all made their way out of the arena towards where they were going to get dinner.
Tommy was oblivious to the concerned and calculating looks that were sent his way when he wasn’t extremely loud and didn’t nudge Tubbo’s hand lightly.
As far as Tommy was aware everything was fine.
+1
So maybe Tommy has been getting a little distant. So
what? They should be happy he isn’t annoying them 24/7.
Besides it was easier to come to terms and deal with his overwhelming thoughts and feelings when he was alone.
Being around Wilbur was hard. And it pained him to say that because Tommy loves him. That’s his brother, his best friend.
But that didn’t stop his doubts.
And maybe Tommy should have figured out that they’d eventually realize something isn't right.
But he was tired. It has been an exhausting few months and he was so fucking tired.
So when it did happen Tommy was shocked.
Wilbur invited him to a Lovejoy rehearsal and obviously Tommy said yes. It was a huge honor that Tommy was invited despite being invited to several rehearsals in the past. Tommy had to say yes even if a now muted part of him ached at the idea of this being gone one day.
Tommy went to the rehearsal and had a blast despite himself. He laughed, and sang along and teased the other members. It was the most fun he’s had in ages.
And maybe he was a little more reserved and much more aware of his touch. And Tommy didn’t call out a million requests like he usually does.
But it was still a fun time.
Tommy didn’t think anything of it when Wilbur brought him back to his apartment. After all this was how it usually went. Wilbur would take him back to his and they’d chill before Tommy texted his dad to come pick him up.
Tommy sat down on Wilbur’s couch and opened up his messages with his dad. “So what time do you want me to leave?,” he asked Wilbur.
“Oh I already got permission that you’re allowed to stay the night,” Wilbur casually said.
Tommy blinked and tilted his head in confusion. “Cool?,” he offered, not knowing what else to say.
Wilbur walked forward and sat on the coffee table in front of Tommy. He gently pulled the teens phone out of his hands and set it to the side. “Do you think I wouldn’t notice?,” he hummed. “Do you think I’m dumb? That ignorant?”
Tommy was extremely taken aback as he stared at Wilbur. Wilbur only stared back with an expectant look on his face. “You’re not - of course I don’t think you’re dumb.”
“See I would love to believe you,” Wilbur said, staring him down. “But I think we both know you’re lying toms.”
“I’m- I’m not lying,” Tommy weakly said as he looked away from Wilbur.
Wilbur sighed as Tommy looked away. “You are and the thing is I don’t know why. You’ve been distant. And not just to me but mainly me,” Wilbur paused and studied Tommy’s face. “Talk to me.”
“Nothings wrong,” Tommy choked out.
Wilbur gently reached out and cupped Tommy’s face and turned it back to face him. “Don’t lie,” he practically pleaded. “Not to me- not here. Please Tom, I just want to help.”
Tommy was frozen as he stared at Wilbur. Wilbur looked so honest and painfully sincere. He wanted to be anyway but here. He wanted to cry. Tommy closed his eyes and shuddered. “You’re not going to let this go,” he said more to himself than to Wilbur.
“I won’t,” Wilbur said point blank as they fell into silence again. “Talk to me,” Wilbur pleaded again as he rubbed his thumb over Tommy’s cheek. “I love you so much toms and it pains me not being able to help.”
Tommy swallowed. “That’s the problem innit?”
“What is?,” Wilbur said in confusion.
“I love you too but you’re not going to love me forever. It’s not going to last. You’re gonna leave eventually Wil,” Tommy confessed feeling torn apart by his own admission.
Wilbur leaned forward and rested his forehead against Tommy’s. “Never,” he rasped. “Sunshine, how could you ever think that? You’re my little brother. I love you and couldn’t just- how could you even think that.” Wilbur sniffled at the end of his sentence.
Tommy’s eyes flew open and he stared at Wilbur in shock. Wilbur was crying. “Don’t cry,” Tommy pleaded. “Come on Wil stop crying.”
Wilbur let out a wet laugh as he brushed the few tears that fell down Tommy’s cheeks away. “You’re one of the best things in my life. Obviously I’m going to cry when you question your place in my life darling. I'm not going anywhere.”
“But you could,” Tommy pointed out weakly. “You could leave whenever you want.”
“But I don’t want to,” Wilbur pushed in a steel-like tone. “I’m not leaving, not now and not ever. The only time I’d ever leave was if you wanted me to go.”
“I don’t want you to go,” Tommy immediately said, his heart throbbing at the thought.
“Then there we have it,” Wilbur said before he sighed. “This is what’s been bothering you?”
“I just- I love you and I don’t think I ever cared about somebody as much as I care about you before,” Tommy admitted as he swallowed wetly. “I don’t want you to go,” he finished in a pleading voice.
Wilbur let him go and immediately moved himself down to be sitting next to Tommy before pulling him into his chest tightly. Tommy melted as he sniffled into his sweater as he gripped the fabric tightly. “I’m not going anywhere,” Wilbur swore as he sniffled lightly. “You’re mine Tommy. I love you so so much.”
Tommy shuddered but in relief this time as he melted further into Wilbur’s chest. Wilbur ran a hand through Tommy’s hair as he gently detangled the fluffy blond locks while his other arm kept Tommy in place.
“Never question your place in my life,” Wilbur pleaded. “I would do anything for you. Joking and fake insults aside, you have to know that.”
“Sorry,” Tommy hiccuped as he buried his face further into Wilbur’s chest. “I’m just so- I’m sorry.”
Wilbur’s arm tightened around him even more if possible. “Don’t apologize- please,” he sighed. “It’s okay sweetheart. I don’t blame you. It’s not your fault.”
“Sap,” Tommy choked out as he processed the pet names.
“I am for you,” Wilbur hummed as he started to move his hand through Tommy’s hair again. “I’ll be here as long as you want me. You’ll have to drag me away toms. I’m a possessive bastard and I like you just as much as I love you.”
“I always want you to stay,” Tommy admitted as he slowly started to get his crying to stop.
“Then I’ll stay forever,” Wilbur simply said.
“You’ll get bored,” Tommy pointed out in a wavering voice. “Or annoyed and then you’ll want to leave.”
“Impossible,” promised Wilbur. “I could never get bored of you Tom. Never.”
Tommy could only melt impossibly further into Wilbur embrace. “I’ll hold you to that,” he warned lightly.
Wilbur only hummed as he rested his head on top of Tommy’s. “Alright sunshine you do that.”