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Keeping someone safe and comfortable isn't always about protecting them during life-threatening situations.
Bullets and bombs, those were Hulk’s responsibility. And the Big Guy seemed to revel in his self-appointed duty as Tony’s bodyguard. Hulk had become protective of all of his teammates, of course. But when it came to a threat to Tony, his anger level elevated, his actions were more urgent, and the damage inflicted upon whatever or whoever was idiot enough to target Tony was that much more distinct. He was an extension of Bruce, after all.
But off the field and out of peril, it took an attentive man with a gentle hand to watch Tony’s back. Bruce fell into the role as naturally as he’d given his heart away to him. It didn't require a thoughtful debate, or a conscious decision. It merely happened. And the very best bodyguards are the ones who intervene without you even being aware of their actions.
If Bruce was anything, he was an observant individual. Years on the run will make you an expert.
He and Tony were out for a stroll in the park one afternoon. When they stopped at a food cart for one of those huge hot pretzels, Bruce noticed the kid.
As they waited in line, Bruce had spied the teen pickpocket eyeing his current target. The woman’s partially opened purse sat next to her on the bench as she was talking on her phone. He had positioned himself behind the bench, but before he was able to make his move the woman ended her call and reached for her bag. The look of disappointment on the boy's face only affirmed Bruce's suspicion.
“Mr. Stark! Nice to see you again.” This wasn't the first time Tony had patronized this particular vendor.
The would-be thief’s ears perked up at the mention of Tony’s name. He watched the transaction take place, and noted that Tony placed his wallet in his back pocket. He hovered around the area, waiting to see what Tony was going to do next.
After the purchase had been made, Tony and Bruce moved off to the side of the path and underneath some trees, to munch on their snack. There was no way the kid was going to approach the two of them together. But naturally, Tony received a phone call. He began to wander from Bruce’s side. Bruce casually kept his eye on Tony as well as on the teen, who had begun to inch his way toward the billionaire.
The kid never saw Bruce coming. When he was but a few feet away from Tony’s back, seemingly out of nowhere Bruce casually stepped into the path the perpetrator. Bruce eyed him sternly (with maybe just a hint of green tingeing those eyes) and shook his head slowly. That was more than enough to send the stunned and scared kid on his way in a hurry.
Bruce watched him go, as Tony turned around. “Hey, whatcha doing back there?”
Bruce smiled. “Just admiring the view.”
***
Petty thieves weren't the only type of person that Bruce had to keep away from Tony.
Public appearances were second nature to Tony. Slipping into his public persona was as easy for him as putting on his socks in the morning. He could turn it on and off at will. No problem. He was a pro.
But even pros could have a bad night. And tonight, Tony was definitely off his game. He had a headache. A nasty one. But this event was important, so he was determined to fulfill his commitment. Besides, he had Bruce by his side. That made any situation ten times more bearable.
Tony sat at the bar nursing a drink, waiting for his turn at the podium. One quick speech and then they could sneak out early. His eyes were closed as he rubbed his temples in circles, humming softly. It wasn't helping. “Your magical meditation methods aren't workin’ for me, Bruce.” he lamented.
Bruce stood behind him and began to massage the base of Tony’s neck. “This environment isn't exactly conducive to successful meditation.”
He heard him before he saw him. Off in the distance, but slowly approaching, the grating nasally cackle of Justin Hammer. When he came into view, it was obvious to Bruce that he was heading for Tony.
Bruce whispered, “I've gotta use the restroom. I’ll be right back.”
Tony grunted in reply, as Bruce went into motion. He strolled right up to Hammer, placed a hand on his shoulder, and steered him in the opposite direction of his boyfriend. The move was so smooth that Tony would surely have taken credit for teaching it to Bruce, had he seen it.
“Justin, nice to see you. How’ve you been?” Bruce smiled as convincingly as he could manage, as he walked the man a safe distance away.
“Dr. Banner! Yes, well, things are very well.” He had no idea what had hit him, as his feet finally came to rest on the other side of the room. “I was just on my way to say hello to Tony. I haven’t seen him around much lately.”
“I’m sure he would have enjoyed that, but he’s a little preoccupied right now going over his notes for his speech. Maybe later, hmm?”
Hammer quirked his face. “Notes? Since when does Tony use notes?”
“Since I suggested that it might be helpful for him to do so." Bruce wasn't a fan of lying, but with some people it was remarkably easy. His eyes narrowed. "Tony usually takes my suggestions. It’s the wise thing to do.”
Hammer took a cautious half-step back. “Well I can see who wears the pants in the relationship.”
Wordlessly, Bruce cocked his head.
His discomfort with the situation getting the best of him, Justin decided to cut his losses. “Gee, it’s been lovely chatting with you Banner, but I have some other people that I need to converse with. So if you’ll excuse me.”
“Of course.”
Hammer slunk back from whence he came.
***
Domestic life had come surprisingly easy to the charismatic billionaire and the wary scientist. Each day they orbited each other with an instinctive ease.
When Tony leaves the handle of the frying pan sticking out too far, Bruce turns inward so he won’t bump into it.
Tony’s coffee mug balancing precariously close to the edge of his desk? Bruce pushes it over a few inches so that he doesn't get a lapful of hot liquid.
While Tony is in the shower, Bruce places the towel on the floor so that he won’t slip when he steps out.
Walking down the street, Tony is preoccupied regaling Bruce with some story or other. Bruce casually entwines their arms to lead him around a pile of nastiness left behind by rude dog owner.
And when they started sharing a bed, Bruce became privy to the fits of distressed sleep that plagued Tony. He witnessed the man thrashing about violently on more than one occasion. But Bruce only needed to see it once before he took care to slide the nightstands a few more inches away from the bed, in order to save Tony’s arms and possibly his head from connecting with them. Mercifully, the nightmares would subside over time. Bruce liked to think he had a little to do with that.
Tony was certain of it.
Hundreds of unconscious actions and automatic responses, as well as numerous interventions that he was fully aware of, would Bruce provide for Tony over the course of years together.
And Tony was none the wiser of it all.
Bruce would laugh if you suggested that he was Tony’s bodyguard. That sounded cold, sterile. Like he was an employee. What's that old saying? "Do something you love and you'll never work a day in your life."?
Yeah, it's kinda like that.