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“I'm really glad you got my message” Maddie grabbed his hand, looking at him with relief but also insecurity in her eyes.
Earlier she had said those three words to Howie, but not in the way she wanted to. It was an automatic response to an immediate threat. A warning. Maddie didn't want to use this on him, he didn't deserve it, and in her heart she feared that he would be disappointed.
But he wasn't.
Chimney knew she felt the same way he feels and he also knew that this was the only way she could tell him something was wrong. And, being honest with himself, of course he wanted to hear Maddie saying the three words but he didn't need them to prove anything. Maddie's actions are always making him feel loved. There are so many other ways to prove to someone you love them, and she knew how to do that. He wasn't mad. He was grateful. Grateful because she loves him and grateful because she found a way to say that she was in danger.
“I love you too” he answered, his thumb stroking her hand. He grinned at the woman.
She could breathe again. He wasn't disappointed.
“Promise?” she asked just to make sure that everything was okay as she leaned to kiss him.
“Promise” he said seconds before her lips were pressed on his.
They lay down on bed, Chimney's arms making sure Maddie was comfortable and close. Maddie's hand was on his neck to angle the kiss, deepening the action. She only pulled away for air, resting her forehead on his.
Howie shifted their positions, now with her back touching the bed and he propping himself up on his elbow to look at her.
His thumb began to caress her face, his finger running over her cheek and chin. She grinned at his soft touch.
“What are you doing?” she asked when she noticed he kept looking at her.
“Just… enjoying the view” he smirked as his finger touched her lips for a brief moment.
She chuckled softly.
“You're cheesy” Maddie joked and he giggled.
“Well, you love me though” his gaze was in her eyes now. She didn't answred but nodded shyly. Howie smiled and gave her a short kiss. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure”
“When did you… realized that you didn't want to be only my friend, you know… when did you feel like you wanted… more?” he said, still making eye contact as his hands were stroking her hair.
Maddie felt her cheeks turning red. That was a really good question and she had no idea how to answer.
They had so many great moments together, she could remember all of them. Chimney was always making her feel special or safe, even when they weren't very close as friends.
Her whole life she was used to being just the person who tries to make the other one feel that way, so she never really bothered to pay attention to her feelings during those moments. But then, she met Howie. The man who turned her life upside down in the best way possible. And then she started noticing everything she felt when she was with him, and it surprised her because she didn't know she could feel so many different things for someone. And all those feelings were good.
Maddie couldn't deny that the first time she saw him she felt attracted. Not because he was handsome or really hot talking about the security app, teaching her how to use it, but because when he was doing that, he never asked her for anything in return. Chimney really seemed to care that she learn how to use that app, like… like he was trying to protect her.
And she admired that. When Eddie and Buck left the apartment he stayed for a while, still trying to make sure that she knew how to handle everything.
After that day, she spent her entire shift thinking about him. She wanted to get to know him better, she wanted to be his friend.
“Well…” she finally said, “I think a part of me decided to look at you differently that Wednesday morning when you invited me for breakfast and to show me nice places in the city since we were both having a day off. I remember you asked a day after we watched Mission Impossible 4.” Maddie smiled remembering all the details.
Chimney texted her that morning asking if she wanted to go to a very good place with great food and an amazing coffee to get ready for the day. Maddie didn't think twice, she just replied that she would love to and he immediately grinned with her answer.
“I was so nervous that morning… I changed my clothes about three times,” she chuckled “and then I grabbed my phone and I left. While I was walking to meet you my heart was pounding so hard that I thought I'd collapse.” she sighed. She left his gaze and focused on the wall behind him, avoiding his eyes “Then when I saw the place I froze. I started to struggle with my brain, 'cause part of me was telling me to go inside and enjoy, but there was that other part, the one I don't like. I was afraid that you wouldn't be there. But my heart convinced me to come in, so I did. I walked in expecting you to be late, but you were there” Maddie smiled again.
She clearly remembers how she felt that day, when their eyes met and he waved at her. She remembers the butterflies in her stomach, her hands were shaking. The woman was so excited, and she didn't know why.
He met her halfway there, greeting her with a hug. Oh and she loved that hug. It was so warm and comfortable. She wished he would never let her go, but he did.
He led her to the table he'd chosen for them and pulled out the chair for her to sit on.
At that point Maddie couldn't control her heart anymore, and she didn't understand why she was acting that way around him. But for the first time she decided to not repress her feelings. She allowed herself to feel and enjoy every detail. Chimney was being so nice and respectful, he was really trying to be friendly. And she admired that.
He had no reason to be there, no reason to be so nice to her, but still, the guy seemed to really care about her and he was trying to make sure that she was having a great time.
Maddie couldn't count all the times he made her laugh that day. And the best part was that she was also making him laugh.
Every time she made a funny comment about his stories Chimney threw his head back laughing, and when he did that, she couldn't stop staring. He was so cute, and he thought she was funny. No one ever told her that she was a funny person.
“Our plan was to take breakfast and then a little tour through the city, but I remember feeling so comfortable with you just talking and getting to know you better that I didn't bother to remember the other part. ” she turned her eyes to look at him. He was grinning, so much love showing in his eyes “You were always asking about me, my stories. And I felt included, you know? We've been friends about two, three weeks and it felt like we'd known each other for two years”
That day, after two hours straight of just talking, they ordered lunch because none of them wanted to leave early.
“When you said we needed to go because it was getting late I almost asked you if you would like to come over to my place and watch another movie but I thought that I would scare you off” Maddie giggled when she saw Chimney shaking his head “I know, I know. But I was so nervous and all of those feelings and the freedom… It was all so new to me. I couldn't take the risk, so I chose to take tiny steps. Now I know that whatever I decided that day we would end up like this because we're meant to be. I just know it.” She smiled when she felt his lips on hers, making her body shiver. She immediately melted into his arms, enjoying the kiss, forgetting what she was saying before that. The way Howie kisses her always makes her feel like a teenager having their first kiss.
When their lungs needed air Chimney pulled away and continued caressing her soft skin, sometimes his hands running through her hair. He loves touching her. He feels like he can do this forever and he would never get tired of it. And Maddie loves being touched by him.
Her life before LA was so different. She didn't like human touch or long conversations with someone, she was always suppressing her feelings and her needs. Now, with Howie, everything was so different.
This man was always looking at her with passion, his hands always touching her in the most gentle way possible. He knew how to make her laugh and how to make her feel special, and Maddie didn't remember how good it felt until she met him.
He awakened her emotions and feelings she hadn't felt in years. Maddie was regaining her confidence in herself, and she'll always be thankful for that.
”So, like I was saying…” she smirked, rolling her eyes “when you were taking me home while telling me the best movies to watch on Christmas, that's when I felt. Something inside of me was screaming at me to never let you go, 'cause, you know, that day was so good and special. I was so in peace and comfortable… Then I knew that I wanted to feel that way every day, every moment… with you” she shrugged, looking up at him with tears in her eyes ``That day I watched my life begin again. Thanks to you” A tear escaped Maddie's eye and he immediately wiped it away with his thumb. He leaned to press kisses over her face.
She couldn't help but laugh with his action, her heart racing, filled with love for that man.
The last place his mouth kissed was her bottom lip. He just gave her a simple kiss this time, letting their lips touch for a moment.
Chimney rested his forehead on hers and smiled
“I love you so, so much, Maddie Buckley” he whispered “the first time I saw you I felt different. But when we were watching a movie for the first time and you fell asleep on my shoulder… that's when I decided that I wanted to be close to you, because you felt safe enough to do that with me. And that's what I've always tried to make you feel, safe. And I swear that I'm gonna spend my whole life doing this” he promised, nudging her nose with his and then kissing her forehead.
Howie rested his back on the bed and pulled Maddie into a hug, holding her close.
Her hand rested on his chest, feeling his heart.
“Thanks” Maddie whispered.
“For what?”
“Everything.” she shrugged, “You have no idea how much you changed my life.”
He kissed the top of her head and held her hand, their fingers intertwining automatically.
“I think you're the one who has no idea. You saved me, Maddie. With you I never felt like I wasn't enough. You've proved to me that I can be loved without changing myself, and that…” he let go of her hand and lifted her head with his finger on her chin, their eyes met again “is something that I will always be grateful for.” Maddie frowned and her lips pouted.
Now more than ever she knew that they belonged to each other. Maddie has never felt so much love for someone in her life, and this time, the person who owns her heart truly deserves it.
She wished she could say the words.
“I…” she tried but he cut her off with a kiss.
He let his lips linger on hers for a while. “I know. I love you too.”