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Tony sighed as he took yet another sip of the tea Bruce had given him.
“It’ll help Tony, I promise. Just try it.”
Bullshit, Tony snorted. No matter how many cups he drank of Bruce’s alleged ‘calming’ tea, it wasn’t working.
His sleep-deprivation, bags under his eyes, major headache, and lots of meetings and press conferences needed to be attended to didn’t immediately disappear like he was secretly hoping.
And on top of that were you and Steve.
You two were a major pain in the ass for Tony, arguing all the time, during missions and meetings.
Even though he loved drama, the constant bickering had gotten a little out of hand.
Steve’s loyalty didn’t sit well with you, and your sarcasm didn’t sit well with him.
And Tony was stuck in the middle.
The first time you two had met was when he came out of the ice and Fury introduced him to you as his best agent.
The whole enemies thing didn’t actually start until you two went off on your first mission together a little bit after Bucky’s ‘rescue’ (Tony honestly didn’t know what to call it). Suddenly, you two were throwing passive-aggressive insults at each other like there was no tomorrow. After a while, the passive went away and they were just full on aggressive comments.
At first, Tony thought it was hilarious. Until he realized it was just annoying.
Individually, Tony actually really liked you, and he tolerated Steve. But together? Tony absolutely dreaded being in a room with you two in it, because nothing good could happen from that.
You both could somehow find the littlest things to argue about, and they would turn into full fledged debates in a span of 2 minutes. Usually you won, but that’s probably because Tony always waited until you had the last say to break it up.
But then something happened.
After your mission together in Craiova (even though Tony strongly vetoed the idea of you and Steve going together) something changed.
You stopped rolling your eyes the minute he opened his mouth, and he stopped leaning over to whisper something you probably wouldn’t like in Bucky’s ear whenever Fury mentioned you during Avengers meetings.
Tony once even thought he caught Steve looking at you during an Avengers Movie Night that Clint dragged you to, and not in the ‘what the hell is she doing here’ way.
Tony was needless to say shocked, but he didn’t have the time to enjoy it while it lasted because he was busy worrying that you would pull a ‘sike, you thought’ (at least that’s what Peter always would say) on him and you both would go back to making Tony go crazy.
That was the moment when you decided to walk in, taking a handful of m&ms from Clint’s ‘secret’ jar.
You raised your eyebrow at the empty tea packets decorating the kitchen counter.
“You might wanna throw those away before Steve calls the cops on you for littering.” You joked.
Tony hummed as he finished the cup with a long sip.
“Don’t blame me, it was all Doctor Bruce’s doings.”
You chuckled, not bothering to question it as you shoved another handful of stolen candy into your mouth.
“Well then please carry on. It would be hilarious to have ‘Death by Green Tea’ written on your grave.” You called over your shoulder as you left.
“Yeah, so funny.” Tony muttered before getting up to make another cup of tea.
He didn’t know if it was because he was tired, half dead inside, stressed out, or just high on tea, but he didn’t realize until 20 minutes later that the oversized hoodie you were wearing was actually Steve’s.
*
One hour later, Tony was fanned out on the couch, officially confused.
There was no doubt the hoodie was Steve’s, considering the fact he wore it all the time (and that it was an abnormal size).
Certainly you didn’t steal it from him. Steve would’ve guarded it with his life. But even if you did manage to, he would’ve hunted it down in 0.001 seconds.
Were you guys together?
No way, Tony thought. The only logical explanation is that she bought a ginormous hoodie because she was cold, and it looks exactly like his because they have similar style.
But even Tony knew that was stupid.
And in that moment, Steve strolled into the common room (what are we in, Hogwarts?), looking oddly happy.
“Oh, hey there Tone.” Steve pulled out a salad from the fridge. “You okay?”
Tony’s eyes narrowed.
He was supposed to be okay. The two people who hated each other like just last week were exchanging hoodies, so that was good for him, right? No more arguing?
Wrong.
Tony wasn’t worried anymore. He was suspicious. (Or, ‘sus’, as Peter would say.)
He decided to put Steve to the test.
“I’m fine, just tired.”
Tony continued talking about all the work he had to do as he watched Steve clearly zone out.
Step one: See if Her Name Gets His Attention.
Tony said your name, and Steve looked up so fast Tony thought his neck would snap.
“ -made me some tea though, and that really helped.” Tony carefully watched Steve’s face as he lied with no remorse.
“That’s good.” Steve was a master at the poker face, but Tony could tell it was coming down.
Step two: Watch His Reaction to Her Praise.
“I don’t know what I’d do without her.”
Tony was expecting jealousy to step two, but he got something even better.
“Yeah, she’s pretty cool.” Steve looked down.
Tony could’ve sworn Steve was blushing.
No, he did swear. That little bastard was indeed blushing.
At this point, the rest of the steps were useless.
Steve was making it incredibly obvious.
You know that proud husband look Tony had whenever Pepper did something great that made him wanna shout ‘THAT’S MY WIFE, BITCHES’?
Yeah, that’s exactly the look Steve had on.
Steve then had a very visible realization that he was smiling like a fool and staring into space, his salad forgotten.
Steve cleared his throat and devoured the remaining of the salad as quickly as he could and practically ran out.
Tony smirked and got up from the couch - but not to make another cup of tea.
His job here was done.
Now, all he needed to do was tell the whole compound.
And maybe get a banner to celebrate and embarrass the hell out of them both.