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“Y/n?”
The voice came from behind you, and it sounded familiar, too familiar that you froze by the entrance of the restaurant you just got out of. You stared at Maia, the friend in front of you, as she looked back, realizing you were not walking beside her. You saw the surprised look on her face and that’s when you knew that it really was the person you hoped to never see again.
“Oh?” she looked at you, an eyebrow raised, as if to say, “What do we have here?” It seemed like the situation amused her while you were still frozen in your spot, fully knowing why you couldn’t move an inch. She slowly approached the person in question, "Bokuto, it's been a while. How have you been? I heard you guys won last week's game. Congratulations."
You didn't have time to feel annoyed with her because you heard Bokuto reply almost immediately with a laugh, "Thanks. And I've been good.A bit busy, but good." You can tell he was scratching the back of his neck while he said that, it was a habit of his you knew all too well. When you thought of that, you mentally slapped yourself.
"Y/n? Are you okay?"
"What's wrong, y/n?"
Maia and Bokuto asked at the same time, the former trying to hide her smile as the latter moved towards you. It was then you realized that your upper right thigh was kind of hurting. You can feel your cheeks heat up with embarrassment, and you thought, “No. I did not just actually slap myself. No.”
You took a deep breath and finally turned around to face him, "Uh, hi," an awkward smile on your lips. You looked at him and you noticed that he seemed taller, towering your small figure even more. You also noticed how his smile still reached his eyes, remembering how seeing that before made your heart flutter. Now, it makes you nervous.
It has been four years since you last saw each other, four years since he broke up with you. It was mutual, but the reason was mainly him, stating that he wanted to focus on his volleyball career. Since it was just after graduation, you had agreed so you, yourself, could focus on your own path. But you never thought of breaking up with him. Yet here you were, years later, face to face with your first love.
"You look good, y/n." He said, only looking at you. Still surprised with the sudden encounter, you were just looking at him, unmoving. You didn't even react when Maia said, "Okay, I'll leave you two alone for a bit to catch up." Not noticing the wink she gave Bokuto.
Flustered, you tried stopping her, but to no avail and just faced the man in front of you once again. "Thanks, you too, Kou." Hearing the nickname you had for him made his smile even brighter, while to you, it was nothing, just the familiarity of being with him.
"Have you eaten already? Would you like to get a drink with me, you know, to catch up? I know it's getting late and Maia's waiting for you, but I could go tell her that I'll take you home." He gestured to where Maia was waiting by her car, waiting for your reply. You closed your eyes for a moment and took a couple of deep breaths, and finally composed yourself.
You were about to respond, but Maia did it for you. "Y/n, I'm so sorry, I'm on call at the hospital. I gotta go. Bo, can you please take her home? Thanks a bunch. And it was great seeing you." She quickly gave you a small hug and whispered another apology in your ear and she ran to her car.
"It's okay, and thank you for dinner. Drive safe." You replied, watching her wave goodbye at the both of you before she drove away. You turned back again to Bokuto, "I'm actually really tired, Kou. Maybe some other time? And you don't have to take me home, it's just a taxi ride away. You should --"
"It's no problem. Wait for me here, yeah?" He cut you off and dashed into the restaurant. You let out a sigh and you thought, "Typical Kou." You glanced up at the sky, seeing only a few stars above the bright city. You were lost in thought when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket.
As you were reaching for your phone, Bokuto got out of the restaurant and was approaching you. You had a smile on your face as you were tapping on your phone, replying to the message you received. He paid no attention to that since he was just honestly happy to see you.
"Shall we?" He asked, gesturing to where his car was parked. You nod your head as a response and put your phone back in your pocket. The walk to his car was silent, neither one tried to strike up a conversation. It was not that far, but it was enough to make it a bit awkward.
"Oh, congratulations on your win, by the way. You were amazing out there, and your team too." You decided to break the silence, remembering the game you watched last week. Bokuto took a quick look at you and smiled. He noticed you were doing the same, just that you were staring at the ground.
"Thanks. They really are." He responded, still smiling at your compliment. As you were nearing his car, he jogged up first to the passenger side and opened the door for you. Watching as you were approaching, he realized something a bit late and decided to ask, "You still watch my games?"
He didn't mean to sound too surprised, but he thought that since it was the reason why you guys broke up, that you wouldn't want to watch him play anymore. You didn't really think anything of it and thoughtlessly answered as you were getting in the car, "Of course, Daichi always watches your team's games. Keeps talking about Hinata and his progress and how proud he is."
Bokuto froze for a moment and decided not to think too much of it. Yet. Without looking at you, he closed the door and walked to the driver's side. He got in and noticed that you were on your phone again, smiling. "Uh, what's your address, y/n?" He asked, feeling heavy all of a sudden. He doesn't have any information yet, but why does he feel disappointed?
"Oh, right." You give him your address. He then inputs it to his GPS. Silence filled the car as he pulled out of his parking space. Bokuto can't help but be bothered as to why you had mentioned Daichi. So many questions filled his head and he was nervous to ask you about any of it. What was it to you that Daichi always watched their games? How did you even know Daichi?
He kept avoiding the one recurring thought after every other question, were you and Daichi together? He doesn't want to know. He doesn't want it to be that. He doesn't want you to say that you were now in love with someone else. Selfish as it may be, Bokuto hoped that you'd get back together after everything. By everything, it meant him achieving his dreams.
No matter if you'd had several boyfriends or girlfriends, but this one time, when you actually crossed paths again, he wished you didn't have anyone special in your life. But here he was, hearing Daichi's name from you. He was so preoccupied with his thoughts that he didn't notice that you were already five minutes away from your place.
"Shit," he thought. He looked at you, and you were resting your head against the window, mesmerized by the view outside. He smiled and turned his attention back on the road. It didn't seem to bother you one bit, the silence, but little did you know that Bokuto was wracking his brain with that single sentence you had said.
“I’m proud of you, Kou. I know I haven’t reached out when you made the team, but I hope you know that I really am proud of you.” You, all of a sudden, broke the silence, saying the words you had been meaning to for years now. You don’t know if this was the last time you’ll see each other again, so you thought it was best to say it now. You looked at him and smiled, and added, “You finally achieved your dream.”
Bokuto doesn’t know if he should feel happy or just heartbroken by your words. But whatever he was feeling, it didn’t show and he reciprocated your smile. “That means a lot coming from you, y/n. Really. Thank you.” The faint sound of your phone ringing interrupted both of you. You mumbled a quick apology and answered, "Hey. Yeah, I'm almost there. Coffee please, I still have some work to do. Mm-hmm. Thank you. Love you. Bye." You put your phone back and apologized again, "Sorry about that."
Bokuto could only give you a lighthearted smile in return. There's a feeling in his chest, it was something he couldn't explain after hearing that conversation. It seemed like he knew the answers to his questions. Was that Daichi? She really has someone right now, huh?
As much as he tried to keep his feelings in check, he couldn't hold himself back and he blurted a question out, "Was that Daichi?" He already knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it from you. What did he expect after four years of no contact with each other? It's not like he expected you to pine for him, but the timing of this encounter was not in his favor.
"Yeah." Your answer was almost like a whisper. You didn't know why it was hard to admit that. Maybe it's because he's your first love and your only ex that it's hard to tell him that you're seeing someone new? You softly pinched yourself, reminding yourself to not get carried away with thoughts like that, because in the end, it's no use.
Bokuto was your first everything and you were his. High school sweethearts. Everyone thought you would end up together, and you did too. It was all sudden to you, the breakup, but you kind of felt it too. It was only several months after your high school graduation and he was pursuing a career in volleyball. When he asked you for a breakup, you didn't even bother fighting for it, because you were scared that you would only be a hindrance to his dreams. So you let him go.
It was a year after that that you met Daichi. Apparently, he got transferred to the Tokyo Police Department. It was his first week in Tokyo when he bumped into you and spilled hot coffee on you. You spilled some of yours on him too, but fortunately, it was iced coffee. It was lucky that the coffee wasn't searing hot. And then, he insisted that he pay for your dry cleaning and a new cup of coffee. You turned him down that day since you were rushing to go to work.
So you thought that maybe it was fate, meeting him like that, because a few days after that, he was waiting at that same café with his hot coffee and an iced coffee in front of him. He called you over before you could order and gestured to the drink in front of him, "Your order's here," He said with a smile, and to say the least, you were smitten.
"So you and Daichi, huh? How'd that happen?" Bokuto dared to ask. He let out a laugh to mask the sadness he was feeling, not wanting it to reflect in his voice. Hearing it from you, getting that confirmation broke his heart. Not that he would admit that to you now, or maybe he will. He had never felt this way before. Because ever since you, volleyball was his only focus. He's had a couple of short relationships here and there, but nothing too serious, nothing like what he had with you.
You saw your house and you pointed at it to him, "We're here." Your heart was aching. You didn't want to answer his question. You didn't want to go there with him, explaining your current relationship. But you did anyway. As he parked in front of your place, you answered, "It just happened. It was a year after we broke up." You felt like you needed to say more, but you stopped at that.
Once again, silence filled the car. Only this time, it seemed deafening, suffocating. You were staring at the dashboard and then at Bokuto. He was lost in thought, staring at the steering wheel. He then leaned in front to rest his head on his hands. He let out a deep sigh and turned to look at you. "You look beautiful, even more than the last time I saw you."
Wide eyed, you stared at him, not at all expecting him to be this serious all of a sudden. You only noticed you were crying when he reached his arm out and wiped the stray tear on your cheek. He was now sitting up and was leaning towards you. It was then that you knew you missed him terribly. Were you not over him? And that was a question you didn't want to think about, because you love Daichi, you know you do. Before he could pull back, you grabbed his hand and you leaned into it.
"Does he make you happy?" He asked as he rubbed your cheek with his thumb. His question prompted more tears to fall. You closed your eyes and took a moment before answering. Of course Daichi makes you happy, but you knew, deep down, with Bokuto, you were happier. These thoughts you were having, you had forgotten about them when you met Daichi, and the what ifs never plagued your mind again.
You couldn't tell him that now. You had Daichi and you loved him, you were living with him, and you were even planning a future with him. But with Bokuto in front of you, you can't help but think of risking it all just so you could be with him again, your first love, your first everything. You opened your eyes and looked at him and you gave him your answer, "He does."
With that, Bokuto smiled and held your cheeks with both his hands, wiping off the tears that had spilled. "Then, I'm happy too." He made sure you were no longer crying before leaning his forehead on yours and quickly pulled back to give you a kiss on the forehead. "I'm glad I ran into you this evening, y/n."
You both pulled away from each other and as you wiped the excess tears on your face, you smiled at him, "I'm glad I did too. It was really nice seeing you again, Kou." You stared at each other for a little while longer, like your eyes were trying to communicate what you both can't put into words. Maybe it wasn't the time to and you both knew it.
You gave him one final smile, "Thank you for taking me home. You didn't have to, but thank you." As you were saying your thanks, he was about to get out of the car and you stopped him, "No, it's okay, I'll open it. Thank you again, Kou."
The pain in his chest was getting worse, persistent. He doesn't want you to go, he doesn't want to let you go again. He wanted to tell you that he’d wait for you, for however long. He wanted you to know that if it didn’t work out with Daichi, that he would want to start over with you. He wanted you to know how much he loved you still. But he had to stop himself. Daichi was waiting for you. Regret was eating at him right now and all he could do was smile at you.
You opened the door and got out. "Drive safe," you added before you closed the door. You stepped on the sidewalk and watched him pull out and drive away. You stayed there for a bit because tears were threatening to spill once again. But you took a deep breath, collected yourself and tried your best to hold it. You stared up at the sky and you noticed the stars were brightly shining, as there were not a lot of lights in your neighborhood to outshine them.
You smiled to yourself and turned to head to the house only to find Daichi standing by the door. "Welcome home, babe." He said with a smile and an apron on and his hands on his hips. "You're just in time, I made brownies." You approached him with a big smile on your face and he welcomed you with a big hug and a soft peck on your lips. He pulled away and kept an arm around your shoulder as he led you inside.
Bokuto didn't know what came over him to drive back around. He parked two blocks away from your house, only to where he could see your front door. He watched as you were staring up at the sky and smiled to himself. He knew you've always loved looking up at the night sky, more so when the moon was out. It was then that the door opened and he saw Daichi, wearing an apron, leaning against the doorframe, staring at you too, with a smile on his face.
His shoulders slumped, watching the two of you. The ache in his heart was heavy. He doesn’t know why he’s torturing himself with this. So many questions and so many thoughts running through his head as he watches from afar, the only girl he's ever loved in the arms of another. What if he didn't break up with you, would you still be together right now? What if he achieved his dreams with you by his side, would you be happy with him? What if you still loved him, would you be with him instead of Daichi? What if you weren't with Daichi now, would you ever consider getting back together with him?
Bokuto could feel the tears forming in his eyes with all the thoughts he can't seem to shake. He stared at the door in which you had gotten into and forced a smile to his face, "She's happy, that's what matters." He told himself. He took a deep breath and as he was about to drive, his phone rang. Seeing as it was from Atsumu, he didn't answer and let him go straight to voicemail.
"Where are you? The food's almost gone. Hurry back, will ya?" He smiled hearing that and thought that he was lucky having them as teammates, such a rowdy bunch. Feeling guilty for not answering, he called him back, and with the second ring, Atsumu answered, and Bokuto immediately told him, "I'm on my way. Order me some more meat. Thanks. Bye." He didn't give him time to speak as he hung up, and he finally drove away.
Little did Bokuto know that you caught a glimpse of his car passing by. You smiled to yourself, even though it was just a short encounter and even though there was a lot of silence between you two, you were happy seeing him again. Ever since your breakup, that first few months, you were filled with what ifs. And then you met Daichi. You were truly happy with him and in love.
But seeing him now again, in person, feeling his touch, seeing his smile that was for you, and being in his presence, brought all those questions back to you. What if you fought for your relationship then, would you have never broken up? What if you showed him your full support for his dreams, would he never have considered a breakup? What if you had met him again before Daichi, would have you gotten back together? What if, even after the breakup, you had fought for him, would you be together?
But both of you knew that those what ifs would be answered in due time, just not right now.