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“Alright team,” Aaron rubs his eyes with one hand, pinching the bridge of his nose. One of the only signs of weakness he ever shows them. “No one is going to get anymore work done tonight, let’s head back to the hotel , we’ll pick back up in the morning.” A chorus of agreement ripples through the team, who all begin standing and stretching almost in sync.
The police station is practically empty at this point, operating with a skeleton crew and the BAU alone. Ellie stands last, almost unwilling to drag her heavy eyes away from the file, but she’s no fool, and she knows it’s time.
“Fine but I’m not sleeping with Reid.” Derek teases, somehow the least tired of them all, or just the best at pretending. Somehow, Ellie thinks it’s probably the second one.
Spencer makes a face and mocks offence, “that’s just rude.”
“I’ll take Spence!” JJ volunteers, sticking her tongue out at Derek half heartedly. Derek just laughs and sticks his tongue out back at her. Even Aaron cracks a smile watching his team’s antics.
Emily lays her hand on Ellie’s shoulder, pulling her attention away from the bickering friends. “You’re with me Ellie.” Emily winks and Ellie wiggles her eyebrows back at her.
“Lucky me.” Ellie playfully flirts, slinging her bag over her shoulder and following her team out the doors of the police station.
—————————————
The hotel is nice, two queen beds, a coffee maker, free wifi. Not a bad set up, and Ellie quickly gets changed into her pyjamas, ready to settle in for the night.
Emily is in the bathroom showering when Ellie’s stomach starts grumbling. She knows Emily must be starving too, it’s been hours since they’ve eaten.
“Em?” Elli calls, knocking on the bathroom door. She hears a feint ‘come in’ and opens the door, letting steam billow out. “Chinese or pizza?” Ellie asks.
Emily hums, and Ellie can see her shadow against the shower curtain rinsing her hair. “Pizza sounds amazing!” She practically moans, probably just as hungry as Ellie is.
“Kk.” Ellie backs out of the bathroom, closing the door and hunting for the hotel manual with all the restaurants nearby.
By the time Emily gets dried off and dressed, Ellie has gone to collect the pizza, and when she returns to the room, Emily has the new Avengers movie up on the TV and pats the bed beside her.
“Good choices all around tonight!” Ellie climbs into the bed beside her friend, setting the pizza down between them. Emily hits play on the movie and opens the box, moaning again as the smell hits them.
She wastes no time ripping out a slice and biting into it. “God I’m starving!” She mumbles around a slice. Ellie is quick to follow, humming in agreement and turning her attention to the screen.
The two of them eat in silence, focused on the movie and decompressing from their long day. It’s already half passed eleven, and they’re both wiped, but everyone knows the trying to sleep while as strung out on a case as they are ends in nightmares, if you sleep at all, so taking the time to relax is so important.
They chat about anything, anything other than the case of course, no work talk in the bedroom, that’s how Ellie lives, and she doesn’t care if it’s a hotel or her home, she follows her rules.
Before long the pizza box is empty, and Ellie’s head is resting on Emily’s shoulder as their attention is absorbed by the movie, they chat aimlessly, commenting on realism of shots, character theories, and dynamics. It’s easy, rooming with Emily always is and before long, Ellie drifts off to sleep.
She wakes while it’s still dark, her neck sore but she feels more refreshed than she has in weeks. Emily is still asleep beside her, resting against the headboard. The tv screen is black, a white screen saver box bouncing across the screen slowly.
“Em.” Ellie whispers, shaking her friend awake, “you’re gonna be sore if you sleep here all night.”
Emily jumps awake, and Ellie is quick to throw her hands up defensively “oh, shit, yeah, you’re right.” Emily mumbles, realizing where she is, and who she’s with. She pulls the covers back from under her and tucks herself in before lifting her arm. “C’mere.”
Ellie smiles to herself, moving the pizza box to the floor and wiggling under the covers herself, tucking herself into the warmth beside her friend and closing her eyes again. “Night.” She mumbles, already half asleep, and judging by the lack of response, Emily is already there.
When they wake again to Emily’s alarm beeping, it’s with soft smiles on their faces and well rested bodies. They go about their morning routines quietly, dressing, brushing their teeth and putting on makeup together before getting ready to meet the rest of their team. It’s safe to say Ellie likes sharing a room with Emily.
—————
“We’ll start in the morning, it’s too late to get anywhere now.” Aaron instructs when the jet touches down. They’re in a different time zone, and although none of them are particularly tired, they all know it’s true.
Ellie of course is the exception, she’s exhausted, she hasn’t slept properly in weeks, plagued with nightmares or busy at the office. She stays silent while her team pairs off and jokes around, staring out the window of the SUV while Aaron drives and gets them checked into their hotel rooms.
“C’mon kid, you’re with me.” A soft voice breaks her sleepy reverie and she turns her head to see Dave with both of their bags slung over his shoulders, holding a hand out to help her out of the SUV. The rest of her team already inside.
She shakes her head, trying to shake away the sleep. “Sorry Dave, I’m coming.” She takes his hand and lets him help her out of the SUV and into the brisk night air.
“You look tired Topolina” Dave says, leading her past the elevators to their room.
Ellie chuckles dryly. “That’s an understatement Dave.” She grumbles, following him into their room and collapsing onto the closest bed. She can hear him chuckle behind her and begin to settle in himself, but only for a few moments before she’s completely out.
A hand on her shoulder, shaking gently is what wakes Ellie up some time later. It’s hard to say how long it’s actually been, but it can’t have been more than an hour. Ellie looks up at Dave, changed into a worn tee shirt and soft looking plaid pants, holding her pyjamas in his hand.
“Go get changed Ellie.” He whispers, trying not to wake her up too much further. Ellie stands and winces, every muscle in her tired body protesting. She takes her pyjamas from Dave’s outstretched hand and makes her way slowly to the small bathroom.
Dave was right asking her to change, she feels a million times better once she’s shed her pantsuit and pulled on her matching tank top and shorts. She feels even better when she leaves the bathroom to see Dave has pulled the sheets back on her bed, the main lights in the bedroom turned off and the bedside lamp illuminating his side of the room where he sits on top of the covers reading.
“Thanks Dave.” Ellie murmurs, climbing into bed and tucking herself in rolled on her side to face him.
He smiles over at her, holding his finger down on his page to keep his place. “Of course Topolina, get some rest.” He drops his attention back to his book, giving Ellie blanket permission to just pass out, which she happily does.
She fucked up, she fucked up bad. The kidnapping victim lays dead at her feet, the UnSub escaped, and her team is no where to be found. But if the trail of blood is anything to go by, she’s not gonna like it when she finds them. Ellie creeps along the hallway, following the blood as silently as she can. The trail abruptly ends at a doorway, the door creaking open as she gets closer. A sense of dread settles in her stomach, tears welling in her eyes, and she’s sobbing before she even peers through the doorway, knowing exactly what she’s going to find.
“Ellie, Topolina,”
Ellie jolts awake, cracking her head off of something hard enough to make her nauseas. It’s too dark to see anything for half a second, before her eyes adjust. “Shit Dave!”
Ellie reaches to flick on her bedside lamp and get a better look at his already reddening eye. “It’s okay kid, just an accident.” Dave soothes, reaching up to stroke the sore spot on her forehead that’s probably going to bruise.
“I’m, I’m sorry!” She realizes her chest hurts too, and breathing isn’t as easy as it usually is.
Dave shakes his head before she’s even finished talking. “Don’t worry about it, just relax, are you okay?” He asks, dropping his hand from her forehead to her cheek.
“I- Yeah, yeah, I’m alright.” It may not be 100% true, but it’s true enough for all intents and purposes.
Dave doesn’t believe her, his frown deepens. “You were crying.” He tells her gently. Shit.
“Shit.” Ellie pushes herself back in the bed to rest against the headboard, and Dave takes the opportunity to climb up and settle in beside her.
He reaches out to take her hand, squeezing lightly “nightmare?” He quietly half asks, half states. It’s only kind of a question, he knows what happened, and he knows she knows he knows what happened. He’s just giving her an out if she doesn’t want to talk about it.
“Yeah, I uh, haven’t been sleeping well lately.” Ellie shrugs, reaching to turn off the light, giving her something to do so she doesn’t have to meet his eyes.
Dave slings his arm over her shoulder, pulling her against him in a tight side hug. “This job, the things you see, they get to all of us sometimes.” He reassures her. Ellie just shrugs, she doesn’t really want to talk about it anymore, she’s exhausted, her head hurts, her eyes feel dry and heavy.
“Yeah.” She agrees simply, leaning her head onto his shoulder.
Dave rubs her shoulder “Go back to sleep kid, I’ve gotcha.”
Ellie doesn’t argue, maybe she would have, if she hadn’t been so exhausted. She settles down in the bed again, facing Dave and laying close enough her hand is pressed against his thigh. His hand falls into her hair, and she wonders if then again, maybe she wouldn’t argue anyways.
In the morning Dave is gone before Ellie wakes up, but she’s slept through the full night, and feels a hundred times better than she did last night. She gets up, heading into the bathroom to change back into her pantsuit and heading to the hotel’s breakfast to meet her team.
No one asks about the bruise on her forehead that she poorly covered with makeup, and no one asks about Dave’s eye, as bruised and bloodshot as it is. Ellie just knows Dave threatened them all within an inch of their lives if they mentioned anything to her. She’s not mad about it, in fact, when Dave sends her a wink from across the table, she’s actually a little relieved.
—————————————
Ellie knew something was wrong before the jet even left the ground. Her stomach was twinging, her back had broken out in a cold sweat and she had the beginnings of a headache starting behind her eyes. The plane lurches, and with it, her stomach. Oh god, she’s getting sick.
Thankfully everyone seemed wrapped up in their own worlds, they’re working with live victims, which always changes the air on the plane. Spencer and Dave were playing chess, Derek listening to music, and Emily and JJ were chatting. The only person reading a case file was Aaron, but even he had his phone out and a soft smile on his face.
This to say, Ellie was safe to be miserable for the hour long flight in peace. She stared out the window, swallowing saliva that kept rapidly appearing in her mouth, and trying desperately to keep still, lest she set off her head or stomach anymore.
Her team bickers about who gets to room with who as their flight nears the landing strip, it’s not quite dark yet, nearing dinner time, and Ellie knows they’re going to want to go out to eat. Oh god the thought of food nearly has her heading for the bathrooms.
“Ellie! You’re with me this time!” Spencer calls, jerking her attention away from the sickly feeling growing in her gut.
She forces a smile, winks and calls back “You’re all mine pretty boy!” Which has Spencer stuttering for a moment before he recovers with a
“And it looks like you’re all mine!” Ellie forces a laugh, it sounds natural, which is good, and the team turns their attention back to what they were doing before as they get ready to land.
“I’m starving, does anyone else want to get dinner before we turn in for the night?” Emily asks, stepping off of the jet and walking towards the SUV waiting for them on the landing strip. Ellie pulls her jacket tighter, shivering despite the warm air. Thankfully, no one notices.
Derek agrees immediately, clapping Spencer on the shoulder when he says “As long as it’s not Chinese!” And sending the team into a fit of laughter remembering his failure at using chopsticks, even Aaron cracks a smile.
“C’mon Ellie.” Aaron presses a hand to her back and guides her forward from where she’s fallen to a stop, the thought of food sending her stomach into an uncomfortable swirl. She prays he can’t feel the heat that’s surely emanating from her.
They settle in at a small pizza place, and order enough large pizzas to feed an army, and yet Ellie picks at the one slice she grabbed simply claiming that she’s “not hungry” when asked about it.
“I ate before we got on the plane.” She shrugs at JJ, who nods her head and accepts her answer.
Ellie tries to enjoy their evening, she really does, they’re laughing and talking and bonding in a way she usually loves, usually soaks up. But tonight her stomach is whirling constantly, aching and gurgling and all she can think about is going to bed. So when finally, finally, they get the bill and pack up their left overs, Ellie is the first one in the car.
The whole drive back it’s all Ellie can do to keep her pizza down, the car is too hot, her headache is in full force, and on top of it all, the world has started spinning. When they get to the hotel, she practically flies out of her side of the SUV and beelines to the front desk, getting hers and Spencer’s keys before bolting to the room, no longer caring if her team notices something is wrong.
The door barely shuts behind her before she’s bracing herself over the bathroom sink, splashing her face with cold water and praying for her stomach to settle down.
“Ellie?” Spencer calls, opening the door slowly. Ellie straightens and wipes her face, drying her hands on her pants.
She walks out of the bathroom and pastes on a smile. “Yeah Spence?”
“Are you okay? You’ve been off since we left Quantico.” Spencer surveys her for a second, surely taking in her trembling hands, flushed, damp face and pale skin.
Ellie drops her eyes to the ground, “yeah just, ate something wrong I think.” She swallows hard against a wave of nausea and forces a quick smile.
“Are you sure? You know there’s approximately 179 million episodes of acute gastroenteritis every year.” Spencer looks at her warily, taking half a step backwards and Ellie feels terrible. She knows the resident genius is a bit of a germaphobe, why did she have to be roomed up with him today of all days!
Ellie tries to talk, “Spence I’m sure it’s just-“ when her mouth fills with saliva and the uncomfortable rolling of her stomach turns to a telltale gurgle.
Ellie whirls around, dropping to her knees in front of the toilet and throwing up absolutely everything she’s had in her stomach today. The acidic bile burns her throat and her eyes fill with tears.
She can feel Spencer’s eyes on her while she retches, gagging on acid and bracing herself against another wave of nausea. Her stomach muscles spasm painfully.
“Shit Ellie.” Cool hands move her hair off of her neck, and a blessedly cool, damp cloth is draped over the back of her neck. Ellie shudders as her stomach finally settles for the time being.
Spencer rubs his hand up and down her back firmly, with just enough pressure to be soothing. “Spence you don’t have to stay, I know how you feel about sick people.” Ellie mumbles, keeping herself braced over the toilet with shaking hands.
“You’re my friend, you matter more to me than some germs.” Spencer murmurs back with a soft laugh. Ellie doesn’t dare open her eyes yet but she can tell he’s got that adorable smile on his face.
She opens her mouth to answer with something equally as sweet, and ends up doubling over the toilet with even more force than before, dry heaving and retching.
“It’s okay, you’re okay.” Spencer soothes, still rubbing her back with one hand, the other holding her hair back from her face. With a shudder, Ellie collapses back onto her heels, pulling the cloth off of her neck to wipe her mouth and face, not caring about how she surely smears her makeup across her face, or whatever is left of it anyways.
She sits in silence for a moment. “Okay, maybe it’s more than food poisoning.” She admits, taking a deep, shaky breath. Spencer laughs and stands up, patting her shoulder on his way out of the bathroom
“I think you may be right.” He jokes back from the other room. Ellie wonders what he’s doing, if he’s repacking his bag to go stay with one of their teammates tonight. Not that she’d blame him, but the thought still stings.
Ellie resigns herself fairly quickly to the thought of taking care of herself through this, she can do it. Sure she moved too fast to rest against the bathtub ledge and the world spun, but it’ll pass.
“Here.” Spencer’s voice makes her jump, and she realizes she’d let her eyes drift closed. She opens them to see him holding out her pyjama shorts and tee shirt “You’ll be more comfortable once you get changed.”
Ellie’s chest swells with love for the tall genius. She takes the clothes and he steps out of the bathroom again, closing the door. She struggles out of her pantsuit, now soaked through with sweat, and pulls on the stretchy, soft pyjamas.
Feeling a little less like she’s going to vomit, Ellie slowly stands up, bracing herself on the wall for support. She stumbles to the sink, rinsing her mouth with cold water and deciding that’s good enough.
Ellie slowly, very slowly, makes her way out of the bathroom, where she sees Spencer setting her bed up for her, a glass of ice chips and a gatorade on the table.
“I hope you don’t mind I ran to the vending machines.” He explains, scratching the back of his neck and Ellie finds it absolutely adorable, he didn’t even want to leave her alone for a minute.
She casts him a small smile, “of course I don’t mind Spence, thank you.” Crawling into bed, the world spins and her stomach rolls horribly, sending Ellie face first into the pillows with a groan.
“Still that bad huh?” Spencer asks with a wince, sitting on the edge of the bed beside her and pulling a small garbage can out from seemingly nowhere
Ellie makes use of it almost immediately, snatching it from his hands and clutching it tightly between her own as she chokes up bile. Spencer gently combs her hair back, pulling it into a messy ponytail to keep it out of her face. She’s not sure where he got an elastic from, but she’s glad he has one.
Once this round of nausea subsides, Ellie flops backwards onto the bed and throws her arm over her eyes. Spencer sets the garbage can down and passes her the cup of ice chips. “You should keep hydrated.” He suggests.
Ellie munches on ice cubes quietly for a few minutes before passing the glass back and wriggling around the bed until she’s under the sheets, her stomach sore and body exhausted.
Spencer seems to pick up on the fact that she needs to go to sleep, and stands, going to his go bag to grab his own pyjamas and goes to change in the bathroom.
By the time he comes back out, only a mere three minutes later, Ellie is halfway to being passed out, the only thing keeping her up is the occasional whirl in her stomach.
Spencer silently moves about the room, turning off lights and setting both of their bags on the floor before he climbs into his own bed. “Spence?” Ellie mumbles, keeping her eyes closed as the nausea finally subsides.
“Yeah Ellie?” Spencer’s soft voice calls back in a whisper.
“Thank you.”
She hears him chuckle quietly, “of course, I’m always here for you.”
Ellie isn’t sure what time it is when she wakes up, but her stomach aches dully and her head feels full of cotton. She cracks open her eyes, expecting to see Spencer still asleep in the other bed, but instead, the bed is empty and made up, and sitting on the bedside table is a metal dome and a sticky note
I didn’t want to wake you, if you feel up to it Hotch says you can stay in the station today, hope you’re feeling better!!
xx Spence
Ellie’s heart swells and she commits the sweet note to memory before lifting the metal dome and inhaling the steam from her breakfast platter, nothing fancy, but it’s still warm and considering it’s the first thing Ellie has kept down since yesterday morning, it’s the best food she’s ever had.
She takes her time getting ready, and when she arrives at the precinct, Spencer shoots her a happy smile and immediately puts her to work, like nothing had ever happened. She’s never been more grateful in her entire life for the genius in front of her.
——————————————
This case was a tough one, and they were stuck in some tiny no name town for significantly longer than anyone had anticipated they would be. One week, five bodies, one missing child. It was a shitshow. And when it finally ended, in the wee hours of day eight, it was not the ending any of them wanted.
“Let’s head back to the hotel, we can fly out once we all get some sleep.” Aaron tells them all, swiping a hand over his face in an exhausted movement. Everyone agrees, filing into their SUVs and driving in near silence back to the hotel.
Ellie and JJ had been rooming together all week, and she knew JJ was tense, she had been bickering with Will all week about the job, and the boys and Ellie knew she felt terrible about being away from them for so long.
They were barely in the door when JJ’s phone starts buzzing, playing a soft song that Ellie knows is Will’s ringtone, but instead of being happy and excited to talk to her husband as she usually is, JJ just sighs and steps into the bathroom to take the call.
Ellie tries not to listen, busying herself with getting ready for bed, but she can still hear the raised voice, the stress and anger in JJ’s tone, whatever’s going on, it’s not good.
Ellie climbs into her bed, pulling out a book and popping in an earphone to give JJ more privacy, but she can’t focus on the words at all, far too nervous about what her friend is going through in the bathroom.
It’s nearly an hour later when the lock clicks and the door finally opens. Ellie looks up from her book, and takes one look at her friend’s tear stained face before she puts it away entirely.
“Oh Jayje.” Ellie puts her headphones and phone down on the bedside table with her book and holds her arms out. JJ lets out a hiccuping sob and lets herself fall into Ellie’s arms.
Body shaking, JJ tries to curl up as small as she can in Ellie’s arms, and Ellie lets her, cradling her friend and whispering platitudes into her hair. “Shh, Jayje it’ll be okay, it’s gonna be okay.” Ellie murmurs over and over.
“I don’t know what to do anymore!” JJ sobs into Ellie’s shirt, her arms tightening around Ellie’s middle as her body shakes.
Ellie hushes her softly, running her fingers through JJ’s hair with one hand and rubbing her back with the other “It’s gonna be okay, you’re both stressed out, alright? That’s all it is.”
“I just- I can’t fight with him anymore.” She sounds so defeated it breaks Ellie’s heart. She knows her and Will have been fighting a lot, and she knows it’s purely because they’ve both been under a lot of strain at work.
Ellie squeezes JJ tightly, “This won’t last for ever jayje, I promise this will get better.” She’s not lying, she knows they’ll work through this, if anyone can it’s JJ and Will, he loves her with a ferocity Ellie has only seen a few times in her life, and the same goes for JJ.
“I hate fighting.” JJ whispers, her sobs settling into soft sniffles and the occasional hiccup. Heart shattering, Ellie holds onto JJ with every ounce of her being, trying to express just how loved the blonde woman is.
Ellie kisses the top of her head. “I know Jayje.” JJ falls into a silence after that, adjusting her head on Ellie’s chest and letting tears run down her face while Ellie rubs her back and plays with her hair.
They sit like that for a long time, Ellie doesn’t know exactly how long, but after awhile, JJ’s sniffles turn into soft snores and her head grows heavier on Ellie’s chest. Ellie continues to play with her hair rhythmically until her own eyes grow heavy.
She shifts slowly to turn off the bedside lamp and maneuver both of them under the covers. JJ stirs and Ellie freezes. “Hmm?” She mumbles
“Shhh, it’s okay, go back to sleep.” Ellie murmurs, rubbing her friend’s back. JJ seems to consider this for a second before snuggling close and closing her eyes again.
After a few minutes Ellie unfreezes, slowly tucking them both in and shifting JJ onto her chest. She closes her eyes and allows herself to relax, feeling the steady inhale and exhale against her collarbone.
The morning finds Ellie awake before JJ, not by much, but with just enough time for her to enjoy the comforting weight of her friend on her chest. She spends so much time trying to ensure her friends are okay, that she hardly spends any time enjoying the fact that they are.
“Ellie?” JJ mumbles, stretching and yawning. Ellie rubs her back a few times in answer and hums. “Thank you.”
Ellie hugs her, both of them taking a moment to sit in the comfort. “Anytime Jayje.”
They take their time getting up, taking turns showering and putting makeup on together in the mirror. They crack jokes while packing their bags and laugh the entire way downstairs to meet the team, and Ellie is just glad to see her smile.
“Looks like you two are having a good time.” Dave comments, giving them a classic dad smile, happy to see his kids happy. Ellie and JJ share a look before agreeing with him, not everyone needs to be privy to last night.
If they sit side by side on the jet, JJ leaning on Ellie’s shoulder, her eyes closed and a soft smile on her face. Ellie sharing a similar look as she reads her book, who’s to say anything.
And when the jet lands, and they step off only to be met by an exhausted looking Will, throwing himself at JJ with apologies and tear filled eyes. JJ lets go of Ellie’s hand to meet hims halfway, her eyes immediately filling with tears.
The rest of the team looks on in confusion, tinged with mild concern, but Ellie just smiles. She knew they would work it out, she knows JJ and she knows Will, and she knows they’re stronger than stress. She can only hope that one day she has a relationship like theirs.
———————————————————
It was a bad case, with kids, it always is. Their team had been working overtime, barely sleeping, barely eating, barely stopping long enough to take a breath. But they’d done it, they stopped a horrible man and saved four innocent, young boys. Well, saved them physically at least.
Ellie shudders at the thought of what those boys went through, she knows herself well enough to know she’s going to have trouble sleeping for the next few days at least. But she feels better knowing no one else has to endure it.
Ellie slides the key into her shared room with Derek, she had started out rooming with JJ, but on the second night she and Emily had switched when Emily had gotten sick of her and Derek brainstorming together until three in the morning.
Derek is already in the room, and in the shower, going by the sound of rushing water. Ellie, JJ, Spencer and Emily had gone to dinner, Aaron, Derek and Dave had just wanted a hot shower and a good sleep, which is fair enough.
“Derek I’m back!” Ellie calls so he doesn’t walk out of the bathroom naked, it’s happened before and Ellie still hasn’t recovered. She takes advantage of the alone time and changes into her pyjamas.
She parks herself in front of the mirror in the hotel room and sets about taking her makeup off for the night. The water in the bathroom shuts off and Ellie throws her hair into a messy bun.
Minutes later the bathroom door opens, and Derek steps out in a pair of sweatpants and a tank top. He pauses and cracks a soft smile as he looks down at her.
“Pretty girl, what are you doing on the floor?” He asks with a teasing tone. Ellie looks up at him and grins.
She holds up the dirty makeup wipe, “taking my makeup off!” She laughs. Derek shakes his head at her with a smile and makes his way over to his bed.
“Alright sweetheart, you do you.” Derek pulls out his laptop and settles onto his bed. Ellie gets up to throw her makeup wipe out, laughing, and goes to brush her teeth.
She plugs her phone in and sets an alarm on her way back to her bed. “Breakfast in the morning?” She asks, crawling into bed.
“I’m in.” Derek replies, glancing up from his laptop at her and winking “it’s a date.” Ellie rolls her eyes and grabs her book off of the nightstand.
She opens it to her last marked page, “you, Derek Morgan, are a menace.” Derek just laughs, he knows she’s right, and he knows she’s joking. They scroll and read in a comfortable silence until late in the evening, when Ellie finally puts her bookmark in and wishes Derek a goodnight, turning off her bedside lamp and rolling over to sleep.
Ellie can’t have been sleeping more than a few hours when she wakes up, and she can’t figure out why she’s awake in the pitch black room until she hears a muffled, panicked cry.
She’s up in a second, grabbing for her gun and sweeping the dark room as her eyes adjust, but there’s no threat, not that someone could have gotten in without her or Derek noticing. She curses her stupidity when her eyes zero in on the writhing mass in the bed beside her.
“Derek, Derek it’s okay, you’re okay!” Ellie calls to him, dropping her gun back onto the side table, the safety on. Derek doesn’t give any sign that he’s heard her, thrashing against the sheets tangled around him and muttering to himself.
Ellie steps closer, “Derek!” She tries a little bit louder. “Derek! It’s Ellie, you’re safe!” If anything, he thrashes harder, tossing one of the pillows off of the bed and letting out a yell into the other one.
“C’mon Morgan wake up!” Ellie calls, reaching out to touch his shoulder. It happens in an instant.
One moment Ellie is standing at his side, her hand touching his shoulder, the next she’s on her back on the bed, her wrist pinned painfully under one strong hand and an arm pressed into her throat.
“Der-eck!” Ellie gasps out, trying to tell him it’s her, that he’s not in danger, that he’s safe. But his arm presses harder into her throat, cutting off her words completely.
Derek practically snarls, “don’t you dare fucking touch me!” The hand around her wrist tightens and Ellie whines, a breathy, choked sound that seems to go right over Derek’s head.
“Der-!” Ellie wheezes, struggling against his hold as black swarms her already dark vision. Instinct kicks in and Ellie drives a knee up hard into Derek’s groin, already mentally apologizing, but it works.
He let’s go of her, just for a second, long enough for Ellie to shift them so she’s on top, easily pinning him they way he taught her to. “Derek! Calm down! It’s Eleanor!” Ellie rasps out, barely catching a gasp of air before her throat screams at her.
“Get the fuck off of me!” Derek snaps, struggling against her hold and nearly pitching Ellie across the room, but she holds tight, presses down hard onto his wrists and keeps him pinned so he can’t get leverage.
She hushes him softly, “Derek, Derek it’s Ellie, it’s me, just relax.” Finally, he relaxes, something seems to click and he slumps back against the bed, panting.
“Ellie?” He asks hollowly. Ellie takes a moment, waiting until she’s sure he’s going to stay slack before she lets go and move to sit beside him rather than on him.
She swallows hard, trying to keep her voice even. “Yeah Der, it’s me.” She chokes back a coughing fit and tries to avoid rubbing at her burning throat like she yearns to.
“Shit kid, I- You scared the hell out of me.” Derek huffs a laugh before he sits up and winces “Ow! What the hell-“ He freezes.
Ellie immediately tenses, before she sees the dots connecting in his brain. “Derek it’s okay.” She tries to assure him, watching guilt flicker across his face as he realizes he wasn’t dreaming it all.
“Are you okay?” He asks her, one hand coming up to try and cradle her face.
Ellie catches it halfway there, squeezing it. “I’m fine,” she lies, “are you?” She almost gets away with it too, he’s too strung out to see her obvious lie. But not too strung out to miss her dissolve into a coughing fit.
“Aw hell Sweetheart, I-I’m so sorry.” He sounds distraught, his hands fluttering uselessly around her face and neck for a second before he decides to turn the light on.
Ellie shakes her head, trying to get her coughing under control. “It’s okay, really Derek, you didn’t mean to.” She takes a deep breath and tries to hide her wince, unsuccessfully.
“It’s not okay Ellie! I hurt you! I could have-“ He cuts himself off and gets out of bed, storming across the room like he’s scared he’ll hurt her by standing too close.
Ellie is quick to jump up and follow him. “Don’t do that Derek, don’t beat yourself up, I’m okay.” She pleads with him, grabbing at his arm.
“But you could have not been Ellie!” He snaps, glaring at her before dropping his gaze to the floor.
Ellie huffs, “Okay, well that didn’t happen okay? Now would you sit down?” She snaps back, pointing to the beds they’ve abandoned. For a second, she thinks he’s going to argue. But then his shoulders slump and he nods, gesturing for her to go first.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asks, once they’re both sitting against the headboard side by side.
Ellie nods, “I’m alright Der, are you okay?” She asks back, glancing up at him. Derek stares down at his fidgeting fingers, tapping in a pattern he knows he picked up from Spencer.
“Yeah, yeah, just, nightmares, you know?” He shrugs, sniffing hard and glaring down at his hands.
Ellie grabs one of his hands, staring at him until he looks up at her. “Talk to me, was it about Buford?” She questions softly, squeezing his hand when he tenses.
“Uh, Yeah, yeah.” He doesn’t elaborate and Ellie doesn’t ask him to. Enough has been taken from Derek Morgan, she doesn’t get to take his right to talk or not talk away from him.
Instead, Ellie leans her head onto his shoulder. “You’re okay Derek, you won.” She reminds him gently.
He nods, squeezing her hand tightly. Ellie winces as her wrist twinges and guilt floods his face again “Are you sure you’re okay?” He sounds wrecked, and Ellie just wishes she could redo the whole thing.
“Der, I’m fine, I’ve had worse okay?” She reassures him, reaching up with her other hand to cradle his face and make him look at her. “I promise.” She tells him when they lock eyes.
He nods once, with an air of finality, and leans forward to kiss her forehead. “I’m sorry sweetheart.” His apology is somber, and sad sounding and Ellie truly wishes she could never hear the tone from that man again.
“You’re forgiven Derek, now, we should both try and get some more sleep.” Ellie slides down in the bed, under the covers, and makes herself comfortable.
Derek gives her an odd glance, “What are you doing crazy girl?” He asks her fondly, the slightest hints of a smile on the edges of his lips. Ellie smirks right back and pats the bed beside her.
“What? You think I’m letting you sleep alone after that? Not a chance Morgan, now be a man and cuddle me.” The last part is said with a laugh, clearly a joke. But Derek just breaks into a mischievous grin and practically pounces on Ellie.
He bundles the two of them under the blankets and wraps his arms tightly around her, essentially pinning her against his body, and Ellie soaks up the radiator-like heat. “Woman, you are truly a gift, you understand me?” He murmurs after a few minutes of laughter.
“So are you Der.” She reminds her best friend, tucking her head up against his chest and closing her eyes.
In the morning Derek will flinch away from Ellie’s bruises like they physically hurt him, and Ellie will sit with him for almost an hour reassuring him that he is a good man, that it was an accident.
They miss team breakfast, but it’s worth it when Derek finally smiles again. And Ellie sends a quick text to Aaron, telling him to tell the team to leave them both alone about the obvious bruising on her throat and wrist, explaining only to their boss what happened. She’ll do whatever it takes to make sure Derek Morgan keeps smiling, because that’s what friends do.
———————————
All in all, rooming with Aaron Hotchner for the week has been pleasant. He’s surprisingly good company. However, he’s still Aaron Hotchner, which means he’s the stubbornest member of their team, and is currently refusing any help taking care of the ‘glancing’ knife wound on his side.
“Hotch you can’t even reach it!” Ellie protests, following him up the stairs. The stairs he insisted on taking in their hotel, because ‘he’s fine’. Ellie is about to lose her goddamn mind if that man doesn’t sit down and let her help.
Aaron unlocks their room without looking back. “It’s fine Ellie.” He insists. Ellie closes the door behind her, deadlocking it instinctively.
“Hotch, come on don’t be ridiculous!” Ellie snaps, well and truly fed up with his bullshit.
Aaron turns on her sharply, glaring. “Watch your tone Congrove!” He shoots back, his tone and use of her last name leaving no room for argument.
Ellie blanches, Aaron never uses her last name, no one does. She’s always been Ellie, just as JJ is never Jareau and Aaron is never Hotchner, not to their team. “Don’t you try and pull rank on me right now Hotchner.” She throws his last name at him with venom. “In case you’ve forgotten, we’re off duty.” Her voice is icy, just as ready to fight him as he is to fight her.
“If we’re off duty, why are you standing here arguing with me? Go celebrate with the team!” Aaron huffs, unwrapping the tie from his neck and wincing with every movement. He’s in no shape to be undressing with this much ferocity.
Ellie rolls her eyes. “Because you’re my friend, you moron!” She nearly shouts, exasperated. Aaron stills, and his face flickers with anger for a second, before the corner of his mouth ticks up.
“Did you just call me a moron?” He asks, voice tinged with amusement. Ellie flushes bright red, she can feel it. But she’s in too deep now, so she jerks her shoulders back and sets her jaw.
“Yes, yes I did.”
Aaron huffs a soft laugh, looking down at the floor for a few seconds. “Alright, you’re right, I’m being a-a moron.” He stutters over the word, shaking his head. “Where do you want me?” He asks, suddenly professional again, and Ellie can tell he’s uncomfortable with the vulnerability to come.
“Have a seat on my bed.” Ellie gently prompts, opening her go bag and pulling out the first aid kit. Aaron arches an eyebrow at it, but says nothing and gingerly sits down on the bed.
Trying to hide his discomfort, Aaron begins unbuttoning his shirt. Ellie busies herself fetching a bowl of warm water and a cloth for those few moments, knowing her boss doesn’t need the eyes on him. “It-uh, it really isn’t that bad.”
She sets the bowl of water and cloth down on the bedside table and takes her first good look at the gash on Aaron’s side. “You’re lucking it doesn’t need stitches.” She murmurs, taking in the four inch, shallow wound just under his armpit. “That must have hurt like a bitch.”
“It wasn’t fun.” Aaron admits. He holds his arm out of the way and doesn’t even flinch when Ellie sets about cleaning the wound with her cloth and water.
Ellie tsks quietly at him, “you need to stay outta trouble Hotch.” She mumbles, wincing when he hisses as she gets too close to the edge of the wound.
“It’s not that bad.” Aaron protests, whole body tensing as Ellie dabs inside the wound.
When he makes a pained noise Ellie jerks back. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry.” She quickly apologizes, feeling truly awful when she has to go back in and ensure the wound is actually clean.
“It could have been worse.” He continues on their conversation with tight lips and hard eyes, trying to mask his pain for her benefit.
Ellie gets to a particularly deep spot in the wound and shakes her head, “It almost was, you weren’t even wearing your vest Aaron!” Finished cleaning, Ellie sets about butterfly bandaging it closed.
“A vest wouldn’t have stopped this.” Aaron points out.
Ellie finishes the last butterfly bandage, “no but it might have helped.” She grabs a couple gauze pad and starts taping them down to protect his healing wound.
“Maybe.” Aaron admits. “Thank you.” He cracks a soft smile down at her when she finishes bandaging his gash.
Ellie rakes a hand through her hair, not caring that it’s probably covered in blood, she has to shower later anyways. “Of course Aaron, anytime.” She gives him a tired smile and slumps down against his bed.
Aaron stands, turning towards his go bag and hunting for a teeshirt that isn’t soaked in blood. He balls up his button up and tosses it into the garbage with a sigh.
As he fully turns around, Ellie catches sight of long silvery scars down his back, there’s five of them total, and they’re not jagged like the knife scars littering his torso, they’re almost routine in length and width, hardly varying.
“How’d you get those?” Ellie asks quietly, her heart dropping when she picks up on a few more, slightly better healed scars across his back.
Aaron freezes, and Ellie watches the muscles in his back tense up. She can sense in a moment she’s fucked up, but he answers before she can backtrack. “I crashed a car when I was sixteen.” Aaron answers stiffly, before pulling a green teeshirt on.
“I’m sorry.” Ellie says, and she’s not sure what she’s apologizing for, if it’s for the scars, the pain they must have caused, or for asking a question that is clearly a sensitive topic.
Aaron doesn’t answer, instead grabbing a pair of sweatpants from his bag and heading into the bathroom. Ellie takes this time to change herself into comfier clothes, and to text Derek back, telling him no, she’s not going out tonight.
The minutes go by, and Aaron still doesn’t reappear. So Ellie settles down onto her bed and pulls out her book, staring blankly at the pages. Finally, the bathroom door clicks open and Aaron walks out, still dressed in his slacks, sweatpants in hand. He ditches them on his bed. “I’m going out for a bit.” He announces before grabbing his room key and wallet and leaving the room.
Ellie spends the next few hours reading, or, well, staring at pages blankly and thinking through her interaction with her friend. The sun slowly sets, and eventually, Ellie has to turn the bedside lamp on. Time tick away, well past ten, then eleven, and eventually twelve.
“This is ridiculous.” Ellie mutters to herself, grabbing her phone to text her boss just as the door opens and Aaron steps in. He comes in silently, but stills when he sees Ellie is still awake. He only falters for a second before continuing to grab his sweatpants and head into the washroom.
Minutes later, Aaron comes back into the bedroom, but over to Ellie’s bed instead of his own. “Mind if I sit?” He asks quietly. Ellie can smell the alcohol on him, but he doesn’t seem drunk, more than likely he’s just less than sober.
“Not at all.” She sets her book down and watches Aaron gingerly settle onto the bed beside her, wincing the whole time. They sit together in silence for almost a minute, Ellie knows he wants to say something, and whatever it is, she’s afraid to hear what makes Aaron Hotchner need a drink.
He wipes his hands hard on his thighs, the only sign of nerves Ellie thinks she’s ever seen from the man. “I wasn’t completely honest with you before.” He starts.
“You don’t have to tell me any-“ He holds a hand up.
“Please, I-I want to.” He locks eyes with her for a second, and his gaze holds more weight than they should. Ellie decides in that moment that whatever alleviates that heaviness behind his eyes, is worth it.
She nods for him to continue. “I did crash a car when I was sixteen, but those-“ he gestures to his back “-aren’t from it.” He takes a deep breath and drops his eyes to his hands. “The car I crashed was my father’s.”
Ellie doesn’t know what comes over her, but she finds herself reaching over and taking his hand, squeezing it tightly. “He, uh, he used to drink, a lot” Aaron bites on his lower lip and Ellie swipes her thumb gently across his knuckles. “He wasn’t a good man to begin with, but it was worse when he drank.”
“He was drunk the night I crashed the car, and he decided his usual methods of smacking me around weren’t going to be enough.” Ellie tries to hold in her gasp, terrified of even moving incase she spooks the man back into stony silence. “He had this, snake whip.” Aaron huffs a dark laugh. “I don’t even know why he had one.”
“Either way, he had one, and, he, that night, mom was gone, and so was Sean, but it wouldn’t have mattered even if they were home. He made me stand in his office, practically naked, and then he-“
Aaron cuts himself off, shaking his head and Ellie thinks back to how one of the scars seemed to wrap around his waist, just along his pant line. She has to swallow back bile and she squeezes his hand.
“It only made him angrier when I made noise, but I was sixteen! I was a child how was I supposed to not make noise!” He chokes on his words and takes a sharp breath in. Ellie hushes him for a second, letting go of his hand to wrap her arm around his shoulders.
He leans into the touch like it’s the only thing standing between him and that memory, and maybe it is. “Anyways.” He continues bitterly, still staring down at his hands. “When all was said and done he, went off to drink more and left me to, to clean up.” The words are practically spit out before he has to take a shuddering breath.
“It was over a month before I could sleep on my back again.” He admits, before falling silent.
Ellie only hesitates a second before pulling her boss, her friend, into a tight hug, careful of his knife wound. She’s surprised when he’s quick to wrap is arms around her too, essentially clinging to the contact, and she realizes just how touch starved the man truly is.
She has to think through her words carefully, she doesn’t want to say the wrong thing. After a few seconds she just decides on the truth. “I’m so sorry Aaron, your father was a horrible man, and if he wasn’t already dead I’d kill him myself.” She tells him, her voice soft despite the hard words.
“I hate him” Aaron mumbles into her shoulder, and his body shudders. Ellie only holds him tighter, using one arm to anchor him against her like she’s afraid he’ll fall apart, and the other to card gently through the hair on the back of his neck.
“No one would ever blame you for it.” She tells him, and he nods, accepting her words like a child would. Was he ever really allowed to be a child? Probably not. The thought of a young Aaron Hotchner, Jack’s age or even younger, having to fear someone who should be protecting him is enough to make her sick.
Aaron relaxes into her arms, sniffing hard and Ellie knows he’s probably trying not to cry, but she ignores it for his sake. “I used to, take beatings from him so Sean didn’t have to.” He admits quietly, “I couldn’t let him go through what I did.”
“You are such, a good brother Aaron, and such a good man okay?” She tries to reassure him. He shrugs and Ellie pulls away from their hug to look him in the eyes. He looks at her with pinched eyebrows and watery eyes and Ellie realizes that maybe her earlier guess of just less than sober may have been incorrect. “You are a good man Aaron Hotchner.”
He drops his eyes again and drops his head back onto her shoulder. “Thank you Ellie.” He whispers, and Ellie’s heart breaks again, too many times tonight has her heart broken over her friend.
“Thank you for talking to me, I really appreciate it.” She tells him, and he huffs a soft laugh.
“No one has ever thanked me for talking to them before.” He lets out what can only be described as a hysterical giggle and Ellie winces, definitely way less than sober. Enough that he may hate himself in the morning.
Instead of commenting on it, Ellie just rubs his back. “Well I am, and if you ever, and I mean ever want to talk, please call me okay? I don’t care what time it is, or what’s going on, you call me.” She levels with him and tries not to cry when he melts into her touch.
“I promise.” He murmurs, “You’re a good friend.” He must have had a lot to drink, because he’s getting heavier and drunker by the second.
Ellie gently maneuvers him down into the bed, tucking covers up around him. “So are you Aaron. Listen, you need some sleep okay? You’re gonna feel terrible tomorrow.” He nods, looking up at her with glazed eyes. “I don’t want to dream of him again.” He admits. Ellie bites her lip, considering her options. She was planning on sleeping in his bed tonight, knowing moving him from one bed to another was not going to be a fun time.
Slowly, Ellie asks, “Do you want me to stay? And then if you do have a, a dream, you can wake me up?” She winces over the words, nightmare is more accurate, but that not the word he used so it’s not the one she’ll use.
“You’d do that for me?” He asks, face and voice so open and vulnerable it hurts.
Ellie cards a hand through his hair and tucks herself under the blankets, still sat resting against the headboard. “Of course I would. Get some sleep Aaron, I’m not going anywhere.”
Aaron shifts around on the bed until his head is on her lap, one arm curling around her knee “S’this okay?” He mumbles, already half asleep. Ellie’s heart melts and she continues to play with his hair.
“It’s perfect.” She murmurs back, resting her head backwards and closing her eyes. Almost immediately, soft snores fill the room and she smiles, god is he going to be miserable in the morning.
Ellie wakes first, and it takes a moment before all of those memories come flooding back, and for a moment, she feels sick. Then, she glances down, sees her boss, her friend unconscious with his head on her lap and her hand in his hair and she can’t help but smile.
Aaron wakes slowly after her, groaning quietly and opening his eyes. He squints, looks down and then looks up at her before his eyes cloud with something unreadable. Ellie can feel him tense against her and he immediately pulls away.
“Don’t you start with that guilt shit, it’s all fine Aaron.” She cuts him off before he can do more than open his mouth. He pushes himself up in bed and winces, bringing one hand up to his head.
He takes a deep breath. “That was, incredibly unprofessional of me, I am, so sorry, and I understand if you want to request a transfer or-“
“Whoa! Take a breath Aaron, I’m not going anywhere. We’re not on the clock, there was nothing unprofessional that happened okay?” Ellie cuts him off again and holds up a hand, stopping him in his tracks.
Aaron swallows hard and squints against the bright sunlight flooding their room. “I’m your boss, I shouldn’t have-“
“Shouldn’t have what? Confided in your friend? Let someone comfort and care about you? Shut up, you’re fine.” Ellie rolls her eyes and gets up, stretching. Her back protests sitting upright all night, but it was worth it.
Aaron cracks a pained smile. “I-I guess, I’m sorry Ellie.” He apologizes and Ellie decides to make it the smallest deal in the world, shrugging.
“Don’t worry abut it Aaron, nothing to be sorry for okay?” He nods and she smiles. “Good, now lets find you some Tylenol and coffee yeah?”
Aaron winces again, reminded of his alcohol intake the night before and nods again. Ellie goes to walk past him to the bathroom, and he catches her wrist. “Ellie?” She hums, “thank you.”
Ellie smiles softly at him, reaching one hand up to cup his cheek gently. “Anytime Aaron, whatever you need.”