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It ends up being a normal Tuesday evening that everything changed - when Kara’s favourite sound in the world caused the most inappropriate, but life changing, laugh session of Kara’s short time on earth.
Kara had just finished sending the finalized edit for this month’s Catco News Magazine to her printers, some notes about future articles and assignments passed through emails, and had begun her flight home for a relaxing night with her TV.
It had been a long few weeks since finally coming out to the world and living full time as Kara Zor-El, not Kara Danvers. Her days are busy with her new role as editor at CatCo, and making appearances as Supergirl, and helping with the new DEO launch. Her nights are filled with dinners with Lena, game nights, babysitting Esme, and the occasional loop around the city to see if anyone needs help. More often than not, though, Kara ends her days cuddled on the couch, wrapped in a cozy blanket and snuggled up to the comfiest pillow of them all - her best friend Lena.
And while Kara has been coming into herself, she has been enjoying even more seeing her best friend blossom into someone so unique and special and light . Looking at Lena is like looking into the sun - it gives Kara a feeling of power akin to flight or super strength. It makes Kara feel like she can do anything - because Lena believes she can do anything. And Lena can do anything, as evident by the strides she has taken in and the growth she has shown in owning her power and owning herself.
To be honest, Kara hasn’t seen Lena look this happy, well, ever. Her skin is glowing, she is smiling more, her laugh rings out into the air too many times in the day for Kara to count. Her magic tingles in the air after she does a spell, lingering with the presence of Lena for hours after she has left. And Kara revels in it - eats it up - practically yearns for Lena’s magic, and light, and smile.
Lena is acting more confident, as well. Not that she wasn’t before - she was the CEO of a fortune-five-hundred company before she was thirty - of course Lena was confident. But this confidence is different. It isn’t arrogant, or mightier-than. It is soft, and steady, and free, and compassionate. It is the way Lena strides into a room, eyes never leaving her tablet yet no one dares speak until she does. It is the way she smiles, in the middle of busy meetings or with stuffy business men or even turning down someone at the bar. It is the way she dresses - all jewel tones and deep necklines, eyeliner and dark lipstick, tight fitting tops and flowing skirts. It is the way her heart beats, a sound that Kara seeks out when she needs comfort. A steady thump, thump, thump across National City.
And it is in the way Lena acts as well - carefree hugs given to friends and family alike. Dancing with Esme in the middle of Kara’s living room even when there is no music playing. Finding a way to reach out and touch Kara every chance she gets - a hand-hold here, a brush of the hips there. Hosting her own game nights and happily letting their little family into her space. Taking Kara up on her offer to trade keys, and more often than not coming over with take-out or even cooking for Kara when she has a late night at Catco.
Today is one of those days - she and Lena were supposed to babysit, but Esme had caught a cold so Alex and Kelly cancelled their date night. Kara had completely forgotten to let Lena know, and came home ready to collapse into the couch after the amount of time it took to finish all the edits on the magazine. She had reached out often throughout the day to be steadied by the sound of Lena’s heart, the thump, thump, thump , calming her down and giving her the motivation to continue with the edits she needed to do.
Instead of coming to an empty apartment, she opened the door to the sight of chicken caprese, risotto, and some delicious chocolate cake cooking in the oven; wine glasses on the table and some Alderaan rum sitting in ice. But the best sight of all was Lena - hair pulled up into a messy bun, apron around her waist, wearing a pair of sweats and one of Kara’s old henleys.
“What is all this?” Kara asked, practically drooling as she closed the door to the apartment and kicked off her shoes. “It smells amazing. ”
Lena shrugged, lifting up her glass of wine that was sitting on the island counter. “It’s nothing - just a recipe I felt like trying out.”
“Well whatever it is, sign me up!” Kara said. “I have had the busiest day and - wait, are those potstickers?”
The small bowl of delicious dumplings sat on the island, just waiting to get into Kara’s belly. With Lena’s laugh and nod, Kara grabbed two of the potstickers and tossed them directly into her mouth. She let out a moan as the flavours melted in her mouth. “Lena, these are amazing. Did you make them yourself?”
“Like I said, I wanted to try out some new recipes.”
Kara reached over and put two more of the delicious appetizers into her mouth, chewing and swallowing before she spoke again. “I don’t know what the special occasion is, or what prompted you to do all this for me, but I am happy to be your tasting guinea pig!”
Lena had just laughed again, a small amount of color going to her cheeks. Kara admired the rosy tone to Lena’s pale skin, before becoming distracted again by the oven beeping, signalling their dinner.
That was about two hours ago, and the time between then and now was occupied by tasting and eating all the delicious food that Lena had made. [“You made this sauce from scratch??” “I received more than just my mother’s spellbook, you know. She had some pretty great cookbooks as well.”]
Now Kara was back in her favourite place to be, stomach delightfully full, the smell of chocolate still lingering in the air, and Lena’s lithe frame hugged against her side. Kara lets out a sigh, adjusting herself so she sinks deeper into the couch cushions. Lena moves with her, head moving to lean on Kara’s shoulder. There is some old rom-com on the TV, but Kara isn’t really paying attention - too busy listening to the way Lena’s heart is beating in her chest.
Thump, thump, thump.
A steady rhythm, matching the breaths Lena takes. It is one of the most calming sounds in the world to Kara - just as this night-time routine always does its job to let the stress get pulled from her body.
Thump, thump, thump.
Kara adjusts herself again, trying to find the most comfortable spot. In doing so, she pulls Lena closer, accidentally brushing her arm against Lena’s breast. For a millisecond Kara’s hand pauses, but then it just continues on its path to wrap around Lena’s shoulder.
Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
The sudden change in rhythm startles Kara, and she quickly asks, “Is everything okay?”.
“Mmm-hmm,” Lena hums, a brief smile pulling on her face as she turns to Kara, before she quickly turns back to the TV. She pulls back a bit, sitting more upwards instead of leaning on Kara, and tucks her feet beneath her bottom.
“Okay,” Kara says, turning back to the TV as well. It takes a few minutes, but eventually Lena’s heart returns to the steady rhythm that Kara is used to hearing.
Thump, thump, thump.
Kara forgets about the momentary change in tempo, relaxing into the couch again and mindlessly watching the rest of the movie. At some point Lena’s head returns to its spot on Kara’s shoulder, her body fitting nicely in the space next to Kara. When the first movie ends and another starts up, Kara finally lets out the yawn she was suppressing for the last half hour.
“Tired?” Lena asks with a small chuckle.
“Yup,” Kara replies, grabbing Lena and pulling her closer. “But I’m too comfy to move. Let’s just sleep here.” Her arms wrap around Lena, pulling her nearly on top of Kara’s lap. But instead of the reaction Kara was expecting (a laugh and Lena snuggling closer, or a playful push away, or even an eye roll), Lena goes very rigid and still in Kara’s arms.
Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
“Okay, something is wrong. Lena, please tell me what is going on.”
Lena straightens herself up and pulls away slightly.
“What do you mean, Kara? Everything is fine.” Lena replies, rather unconvincingly. “Why would you think otherwise?”
Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
“Lena, your heart is going crazy. I haven’t heard it going this fast since before Lex and Nyxly were banished to the phantom zone.”
“That’s because I haven’t been this nervous since then,” Lena replies. She pulls back fully from Kara, putting a good few inches between them and tucking her feet again beneath herself.
“Nervous?” Kara asks. “What do you have to be nervous about?”
Lena sighs, turning to face away from Kara for a moment. She takes a deep breath, and Kara hears her heart continue to beat loudly and off-rhythm to the norm.
“You?” Lena finally says, turning to face Kara. Lena speaks so quietly, if it wasn’t for Kara’s super hearing she probably wouldn’t have heard.
The two sit in silence for half a moment, before Kara starts giggling. She hears Lena inhale, hears her heart speed up even more, but Kara can’t help it. Lena is nervous about Kara? If there was one person in the world that Kara feels completely at ease with, like she doesn’t need to hide a single part of herself with, it would be Lena. Even with Alex, there are things Kara feels she needs to keep hidden. But not with Lena. Never with Lena.
“Me? No way,” Kara says between giggles. “Okay, really Lena. What are you nervous about?”
Thump-thump-thump. Thump-thump-thump. Thump-thump-thump.
“Lena?”
Thump-thump-thump. Thump-thump-thump. Thump-thump-thump.
Kara tries to tamper down her giggles, but every time she does, another breaks free. She finally calms down when she feels Lena stand up from the couch.
“I… I should go,” Lena says, quickly gathering her things from around the room and heading to the entryway. Kara stands up, following Lena to the door.
“You don’t have to, you know,” Kara says, sobering up quickly and grabbing Lena’s hand to stop her from picking up her shoes. “You could talk to me instead. Tell me why I make you nervous?”
“I, I shouldn’t have said that,” Lena replies, head ducking down out of Kara’s view. “I’m just going to ruin things. Just, forget about it, okay?”
To Kara, it seems some of the old Lena is sneaking back out - the one who is unsure of herself, who doesn’t quite know who she is. The one who Kara hasn’t seen for some weeks now. It scares her - Lena regressing like this because of Kara? She doesn’t think she's done anything to prompt this type of reaction. But then again… Lena is known to keep things private until they spill out at the most inopportune moment.
“It’s true, though. Isn’t it?” Kara asks, her hand moving to Lena’s face and turning it back to face her. Lena’s eyes sparkle, bright green emeralds shining. At first Kara thinks it is just Lena’s eyes, as they always are, but then she notices the unshed tears. And then she hears Lena’s heart, so fast she can barely discern between the beats.
“You can talk to me, Lena. Let me help.”
Lena nods, pulling away from Kara and blinking a few times. As she turns her back to Kara, a few tears make their way down her cheek. For a moment Kara thinks Lena is going to leave, to walk out the door without explaining herself, but then she hears Lena’s quiet voice.
“You know how we talked about living our authentic lives at your sister’s wedding? Well, I really started thinking about what that means for me. And - I am loving who I am learning I am, who I can be. Discovering magic, and connecting with my mother that way. It’s…. Amazing. And getting to spend time as Esme’s godmother means more to me than the world. And you…” Lena turns, keeping herself arms distance from Kara as she talks. “There are a few things about myself that I’ve kept hidden for a very long time - hidden not only from those around me but from myself as well. I never thought I would-” she pauses, trying to form the right words. “I never thought-”
“It’s okay, Lena,” Kara says, wanting so badly to reach out and pull Lena into a hug, but knowing that is probably the worst thing she can do right now. “We don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to.”
“No, Kara, we do,” Lena replies. “I just… need to think of the right words. The right things to say. I… you know that I could never live without you, right?”
“Yeah, me too. You’re my best friend, Lena.” Kara reaches out to grab Lena’s hands. She allows it, and Kara gets a small burst of happiness spread through her chest at the contact.
“Best friend… right,” Lena’s voice drops, a frown forming on her face. “About that. That’s… really the main issue here.”
Kara tilts her head, not really understanding. “Am I… am I not your best friend anymore?”
Lena’s eyes widen with slight panic, and she instantly starts shaking her head. “No, no! Not that, never that!” She goes silent again, her thumbs forming calming circles on Kara’s palms that are negated by the still-constant beating of her heart. Lena sighs, clearly trying to think of the right thing to say.
“Kara - when you were in school, did you ever experiment?”
Kara pauses, trying to think back on her experiences in school. “Like, science experiments? Yeah, I did a bunch. But probably never as good as yours.”
“No, not -” Lena breaks their hands apart, rubbing her face in her hands and letting out a frustrated noise. “When I was in boarding school, it was an all-girls school, right? Well, we often had late night parties, and occasionally we would sneak in some of the boys from their residence down the street. One night, one of the boys brought an empty coke bottle with him and declared it was time for us to play spin the bottle. Most of the girls were excited, some of us just nervous. It was fun for a while, we all had our turns kissing the boys. But then Mary-Anna Whitcomb’s spin landed on me.”
Kara’s eyes widen, finally realizing what Lena means by experimenting, momentarily embarrassed by her misinterpretation. But then, after a moment, she begins to feel a sense of deja vu, taking her back to a park bench a few years ago, Alex talking about best friends and sleepovers and -
She can’t help it. Kara lets out a snort, and pulls her hand up to her mouth to hide the sound. She’s too late, though. She can’t stop - the snorts turn into giggles then turn into all-out guffaws.
“Kara, I really don’t appreciate you laughing at me right now!” Lena says, arms crossing. “I’m trying to tell you something deeply personal and private and you’re-”
“I’m sorry,” Kara says between breaths she manages to pull in. “I’m sorry. I’m just… flashbacks. Lena - you don’t have to be nervous to come out to me! We were literally at my sister’s gay wedding a few weeks ago! I have no problem with you being gay!”
“Well if you would let me speak, you’d know that I am NOT gay,” Lena says. When Kara starts wiping her tears from her silent giggles, continuously apologizing in between, she adds, “I’m bi. Bisexual. Into both men and women.”
“Also awesome!” Kara replies. “See? Nothing to worry about! No need to be nervous!”
“Kara.”
“Lena.”
“This is not what I am trying to-”
Lena cries out in frustration, pacing away from Kara as the laughter slowly dies down. Lena’s heart is pounding in Kara’s ears, breaking through the momentary silence. It seems to skip a beat for a moment, then speed up as Lena mutters, “Oh, screw it.”
The next thing Kara knows, Lena is rushing towards her, reaching out her hands and grabbing Kara’s face, bringing their lips together in a kiss she feels tingle down to her toes. Lena is kissing her like Kara is the first bit of fresh air she has smelt in a decade, and Kara is just standing there and letting it happen. Her brain has fizzled out - short circuited - stopped working. She hasn’t been kissed like this since… she may never have been kissed like this. Her body feels hot all over, hands suddenly sweaty and eyes wide in surprise. Lena’s hands have moved to the back of Kara’s neck, one tangling in her hair while the other rubs small circles along her spine.
Slowly, Lena pulls back. Kara continues to stand frozen, mouth tingling where Lena’s had been. Did… Lena just kiss her? Lena just kissed her. Lena Luthor, Kara’s best friend and confidant and go-to support system has just kissed her. Is this a dream? Is Mister Mxyzptlk hiding somewhere waiting to jump out? Is Kara in one of his what-if tapes showing a potential future with Lena? Or… is this actually happening.
“Oh,” Kara says, brain finally catching up to the moment. But again, her body betrays her, and giggles come pouring out. She can’t help it - the thought of all the time and struggle trying to keep Lena with her - and she could have just kissed her? All this time?
“That’s it. I’m leaving,” Lena says, reaching for her purse and turning on her heels. Before she has a chance though, Kara reaches for Lena’s arm and pulls her back towards her so they are standing chest to chest.
Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
“I didn’t mean to laugh, I didn’t mean to-” Kara says, trying to figure out what to say. Instead, she spends a moment looking at her best friend. Lena’s eyeliner is tear streaked and rolling down her cheeks, her lips are slightly puffed up, and her eyes have lost a little bit of that spark that Kara loves so much. Unconsciously, Kara’s hand moves up and her thumb swipes underneath Lena’s eye, taking away some of the eyeliner and tears with it. Lena’s head unconsciously moves into the touch, and Kara feels her courage increasing. “Maybe I should just…”
She leans in closer, listening to Lena’s heartbeat as she does. When only an inch separates them, Kara licks her lips.
Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
At this point, Kara’s heart is beating just as fast as Lena’s, to a point where they are in rhythm with each other. The best sound in the world - doubled, multiplied, hitting Kara from inside and out.
“You know,” she says, voice barely above a whisper. “On Krypton, they didn’t care if you were with a man or a woman. Only that you were happy. Did I ever tell you that?”
Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
Lena doesn’t breathe, and Kara continues. “I should’ve realized sooner but… you’re what makes me happy.”
No other words need to be said - Kara leans in and joins her lips back up with Lena’s. This time they both jump into the kiss, turning their heads to deepen it and reaching with their hands to get their bodies closer.
It isn’t until hours later, after discussions and kissing and way too much giggling, that Kara notices Lena’s heart again beating nice and even and strong, unimpeded by nerves or clothes. A steady rhythm, one that will lull Kara to sleep for years to come.