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The rain fell around them as Satoru looked to the side of the bridge, rays of light lit up the sky from time to time as Suguru observed his profile, two of his fingers up holding up the barrier that was keeping them dry from the rain.
“Satoru..” He began to say as blue eyes gazed back at him.
He felt his heart accelerate momentaneously at the thought of what was about to escape his lips. “I, um.”
“Are you ever going to tell him?” Shoko lit a cigarette as she stood next to her friend, they were out on a mission, Satoru was always jumping excitedly into action as she took care of the ones who had been hurt along the way.
Suguru stood next to her, bringing in one of the victims he had helped a few minutes before, he looked confused at her. “Mm? Tell what to whom?”
She blew out some smoke, looking down at her unconscious patient, she had done the best she could, now waiting was the only thing they could do.
Her eyes averted to Satoru as he spoke outside the tent to an irritated Masamichi, scolding him once again for his carelessness. It was then that Satoru followed her line of vision, his eyes going back to her as she observed him with a knowing face.
“Ah,” Eyes hidden behind his lashes as they squinted, a small smile coming to him. “I don't see the meaning in doing so.” She was one of the few people who knew both of them well, he saw no point in denying the obvious, besides it wasn't like she would have believed it if he had denied it.
“Perhaps,” She folded an arm under her chest as the other came to rest on top of it, her cigarette being held lazily in her free hand. “But are you at peace with your silence?”
He opened one eye to look at her better, she wasn't looking at him but at Satoru standing ahead of them instead.
He smiled. “ Perhaps. ” was his only response.
I wonder what could be more painful for us, to run out of time knowingly or unknowingly? What an unfair question, but not having enough time never was fair to any.
“Old people are so boring, imagine going out to eat and sitting there just doing a crossword puzzle.”
Suguru looked over at the elderly man sitting a few tables away from him and Satoru, he was having some coffee from the looks of it, enjoying the scenery and his puzzle without any electronics with him.
His wrinkled hands moved trembling across the paper, a golden band on his ring finger shining in the light's reflection.
Suguru watched the man in silence as he kept enjoying his time.
The young dark haired man cocked his head to the side in wonder, turning towards the one across from him. “Do you want to go out tomorrow?”
Satoru looked up from his phone for a second before he continued to scroll. “Sure, where are we going? Can we go to that skating park that opened recently? I heard it's really cool and Ive never gone ice skating before ….”
He took a sip of his drink as he continued to hear Satoru talk on and on about tomorrow.
Not completely sure if it had been for the drink or the excitement he heard on Satoru’s voice that had suddenly sparked some warmth within him making him feel just as thrilled as the white haired man was.
But it wasn't what time had allowed us to live and continued to let us have as memories, it was, the what if we had been allowed to stay, that actually breaks me.
“Don't laugh at me.”
“I can't believe you fell again, here hold my hand.”
“Well not everyone can be perfect at everything, Satoru.”
“Mm, you have a point.”
Suguru rolled his eyes, standing up as he held his hands, trying to steady himself.
“Okay are you good?” Satoru asked, watching as he nodded his head, now finally standing up straight, Satoru skated backwards slowly, Suguru followed observing his feet so he wouldn't fall once again. He smiled. “Okay I think I got it!”
“Satoru grinned, letting go of one of his hands, he held the other one tighter. “Great! Now let's go!” He picked up the pace, a nervous Suguru following him.
“W-wait Satoru, that's too fast!”
He only laughed. “Don't worry, Suguru,
I won't let you go
!”
The cold breeze from the winter hit them both in the face as they hurried along the ice, neither bothered to acknowledge it as their cheeks flushed pink.
They were next to the warmest place they knew.
Isn't it quite ironic how we all feel the same loneliness together?
“I'm sorry, I'm not done with this mission yet, I won't be able to make it today either.”
Suguru sat on the bench outside the theater, the two tickets suddenly feeling heavy in his pocket.
“Rain check for tomorrow?”
His head dropped a little. “I can't, I'm going with Mei on a mission as well.”
“I'll make it up to you Sugur-”
“No, it's fine, we can just hang out another time when we can.”
The cold winter breeze had turned colder that day as the line went dead and both had gone on with their day.
“Are you ever going to tell him?”
“I don't see the meaning in doing so.”
“But are you at peace with your silence?”
“Perhaps.”
We did indeed have different ways of loving the beautiful moon that was out of our reach.
“So how was your date?”
Suguru remained silent next to Shoko, his eyes closed as the wind blew on his hair, the faint scent of cigarette reaching his nose as she lit one up.
“I see, you didn't tell him,” Blowing out the smoke from the side of her mouth, Shoko leaned against the rail at the edge of the rooftop.
“So which idea is it that scares you the most, rejection or reciprocation of said feelings ?”
A light laugh escaped his lips. “Aren't you pushing this a bit?”
“Mmm,” She smiled at him. “Maybe, but aren't you not doing enough?”
For those who have been in that position, know that there are many ways to say I love you.
“We are the strongest”
“Did you lose weight Suguru?”
“Are you okay?”
“It wasn't your fault, I messed up.”
“I might share with Satoru, so something sweet.”
“There is no way I would mistake the scent of Suguru’s curse power.”
“Were you planning on not sleeping again Satoru?”
“You are here too.”
“He is the strongest now.”
“He was my best friend”
“But my soul knows otherwise.”
“My one and only.”
But, there was something in my body that told me you wouldn't stay.
“Suguru?”
The man had trailed off instead of continuing his sentence, rays of light, one after the other kept decorating the sky as they stood there under Satoru’s infinity, protecting themselves from the rain.
From the outside world they were in.
The wind blew at them, the wind that Suguru had come to envy from time to time as it was the only constant thing to witness the only person who could say shared a soul with him.
“Satoru,” The name came more firmly out of him as a thunder clapped in acceptance.
The white haired man frowned. “Is something wrong?”
“Satoru, “ He came forwards, approaching him well enough to invade his personal space, the heat that radiated from the tall man engulfing him as the scent of his perfume enchanted him to get closer.
Satoru smiled. “Yeah?”
Rarely enough, he blushed at the smile.
“Satoru, I-”
Ring.
Blue eyes blinked in surprise of the phone ringing, he ignored it. “I'm listening.” He encouraged the man who had silenced himself at the interruption.
Suguru took a step back, the hand on his side clenching unconsciously into a small fist.
Sad isn't it? That there will never be an answer to our last conversation.
“It's fine, it was nothing important.”
Satoru hesitated, opening his mouth to say something but deciding against it.
He answered the phone call.
While he swallowed his confession.
The thunder stopped along the rain which gave clearance for the sky to have a peek between the sad clouds.
Sorrow displayed as my fingertips graced your face one final time.
“Isn't it odd Suguru?” Satoru Gojo placed flowers at the grave he came to talk to as if someone were there listening intently to him.
Death marks a year today, as if the pain doesn't sting like it was just yesterday.
The man continued to tell stories of the past he had held on to in the present, stories of his dates with a man who had forgotten how to be happy.
“All this power and I still couldn't save you.” Satoru chuckled dryly. “For the record,”
The fast wind blew as he uttered words that were kept inside for the longest, he said it in hopes that they would reach a world that he could not.
“I loved you too.”
My one and only.